Chapter Text
Fatin’s words echoed in Shelby’s head as the group ate.
Tonight is supposed to be fun. We’re all reunited! It can’t be fun if you and Toni are fighting. So stop moping and talk shit out. It’s beginning to stress out the rest of us.
It wasn’t fair on everyone else. Shelby knew that.
Martha kept looking back and forth between the two, Nora and Leah were sitting as far away as possible, Fatin kept staring at Shelby, Dot wasn’t looking at her at all, and even Rachel looked worried.
Rachel, who took zero drama.
This wasn’t fun . This was miserable. This was sad. This was-
In a moment of rare bravery, Shelby sat up straighter. “Toni? Can we talk?”
The instant relief was visible on the other girls. If it weren’t for this situation, Shelby would have found it funny.
Toni on the other hand, shrugged. “What do we have to talk about?”
Toni’s a hot head and you're stubborn. Hell, if everything goes smoothly I’ll be surprised.
Fatin was going 2 for 0 with her predictions. Shelby faltered a bit.
“It doesn't have to be about anything, I- I just wanna talk.”
“And I don't.”
Shelby watched as Martha nudged Toni slightly. There was a tense couple seconds before Toni shrugged. “Fine.”
Shelby knew her actions all too well and all too familiar. Not caring, not talking, not putting in the effort- it’s self preservation. It’s Toni protecting herself from getting hurt-
Because Shelby hurt her.
They got up and stepped outside to talk, but not before Shelby got a nod of approval from Fatin.
Back on the island, Fatin was the first to find out about their relationship. It was before Shelby was ready for others to know, but without Fatin there would probably be no relationship. This wasn’t the first time the girl helped Shelby navigate this relationship.
Fatin was right-
Her and Toni are shit at communicating.
“So.” Toni leans against the wall under one of the fluorescent beams.
“How have you been?” Shelby asks tentatively.
“You did not bring me out into the butt fuck cold just to ask me how I’ve been .”
“No,” Shelby admits. “I didn’t.”
“So-” Toni crosses her arms, not making it easy.
“Are you mad at me?” The question made Shelby feel small. It’s the question she asks her Father. It’s the sad tone she uses after her Mother nitpicks her pageant run. It's the implication she’s never had to use on Toni before. “Because I can get it if you are- I mean what I did was shitty and I’m sorry, I couldn't really do anything about it Lord - I wish I could have but-”
“No.”
Shelby blinked.
“I’m not mad at you.”
“What?”
Toni shrugged. “When you dropped off the grid I was scared, sure. Definitely worried out of my mind. But never mad. When Nora had the bright idea it was probably your parents, it made sense. I was just- stressed.”
“Then why-” Shelby paused, trying to organize her thoughts. “This.” She motioned around them. “This whole situation. Why were you so distant inside?”
Toni shrugged again. “There were a lot of reasons, most of them just me over thinking. I wasn’t sure you’d care. Like, maybe I was just your spicy straight phase. Being trapped on an island with all girls might do that to you. I didn’t want to seem stupid and care when you moved on. Or maybe you didn't care to begin with. But even if you did care- this is your turf. There’s people you know here. And since you were so hesitant to come clean about our relationship on the island- well I didn’t think running up and pulling you into a kiss was the best option?”
Oh.
Oh .
“Oh.”
Toni was just looking out for Shleby. She didn’t hate her, she just knew she wasn’t out yet. Shelby felt flooded with relief and before she could totally think through her actions, her hands were cupped on Toni’s face and she pulled the basketball player close.
It felt a lot like their first kiss on the island. The noise of surprise Toni made before melting into it, the way her hands went to Shelby’s waist to hold her closer. But this was different too. It was deeper. Shelby held Toni closer like she was scared to slip away. They had been without each other for so long and she never wanted to do that again.
When they finally did pull away, Toni instantly wrapped her arms around Shelby’s neck for a hug.
“Yknow, next time you want to go undercover as just another straight friend, you can be a little friendly. You don't need to act like you despise me.”
Toni laughed and Shelby could feel it against her neck. “Yeah, that wasn’t my smartest move.”
“I felt a little like I was back on the island in the very beginning.”
“Hey!” Toni leaned back, smacking Shleby’s arm. “I didn’t throw a tree at you this time.”
“Thank god.” Shleby grinned. “Come on, let's go inside before the others explode from stress.”
Toni was right. This was Shleby’s ‘turf’. As they stepped into the bowling alley alone, Shelby could see all the people from her highschool, her church, her volunteer groups, her town . They all knew her. And it was only a matter of time before her father finds out she's not just with Dot. Maybe somebody even saw her kiss Toni outside.
But- Shelby’s eighteen. She’s been eighteen for a while. She turned eighteen on the island, actually. She didn’t have to stay with her parents. She could go anywhere.
She grabbed Toni’s hand as she sat down, ignoring the look of the surprise from the girl next to her.
“Are you sure?” Toni whispered.
“Positive.” Shelby smiled as the rest of the girls cheered.
“It’s about time.” Rachel rolled her eyes, but the smile was not lost on Shelby.
“What about your dad?” Leah motioned to the hand Shelby was holding.
Shelby shrugged. “I’m eighteen now. Youre dumb if you think I’m going back to total isolation.”
Dot looked at Fatin who nodded. “We have a pull out sofa in the apartment if you need it for now.”
“No way-” Toni shook her head. “That is way too far from where Martha and I are. I have a full sized bed. That’s enough.”
The group started debating where Shelby should go as she smiled.
This might be stupid.
All her belongings are at her parent’s house. She’s still gonna have to see them when she goes to pick up stuff.
She’s leaving behind everything she ever grew up with.
But hey-
If she can survive an island with these girls, she can survive society.
She’s got money in saving, and a car she bought with her own money.
Shelby will be fine.
And Lord, being jailbroken feels good.