Chapter Text
Wen Ning was aware of his shyness, and he knew perfectly about his sensitivity. Yes, he was sensitive, but in the way he was way too emotionally receptive. He might be easily scared, grieved heavily and yet his receptions were also from the point of view of happiness, relief and thoughtfulness. It was true that he really felt too much.
However, he always seemed to hide his feelings beneath his shy demeanor, making fear or shame the only visible reactions others could see. So in that half dinner, in which Jiang Wanyin had to throw all those uncomfortable truths at him, he couldn’t even defend himself. Sect Leader Jiang was right in his way, but he was wrong in other parts; like Wen Ning being genuinely grateful to some unconscious billionaires who had no remorse on taking other people’s lives. Heck, Jiang Wanyin didn’t even allow him to explain himself! His temper was definitely something else.
Wen Ning, along with Wen Qing and all his relative branch of the Wen sect, had made an oath on not taking any lives. Ever. They were doctors and they would always do their best on helping patients live. So, as a doctor, seeing the Jins mistreat people for fun, neglecting their poor health statuses and just letting them rot under inhuman conditions surely enraged him!
But what could he do? If he spoke back, things would only get worse. Those situations pursued him since when he was a kid: if he spoke against his bullies, they would only get noisier and braver, causing problems to his sister. The main reason of bullying was due to his sensitivity, his mild kindness and his lack of bite or insensitivity towards other’s concerns. Wen Ning was more heart than brains, and was way more compassionate and empathic than the people around him. He was soft at heart, yes, but said heart could easily get defensive or harsh upon harsh stimulation itself. He had taken a lot of pain, rage, injustice and unfair treatment along his whole life, and his days at Lanling weren’t any better at all. He never fought back because he was conditioned to do so. He was afraid of showing his true feelings and opinions to people. They hated his joy, neglected his worries and mocked his annoyance. They’d surely laugh if they had known of the times he felt heartbroken.
When he started sleeping light enough to dream instead of simply passing out, nightmares came. Him, unable to move at all, snow and chilly wind burning his bones. Him, seeing red not because of rage, but blood in his eyes. Him, breathing slower and slower until the inevitable caress of death. And in that night, out of all the nights he had to endure by himself, he saw his own death in first perspective, with Jiang Wanyin’s voice reprimanding him nonstop. And on top of that, his bullies’ voices and mocking seemed to merge with the older man’s. He could bear with the Wens. Not someone who sheltered him and protected him from death, someone he knew was immersed in the “tough love” agenda. This wasn’t Jiang Wanyin. He didn’t see him as a weakling like everyone did…
… did he?
He cried in his sleep, the moon being his only witness.
He avoided Jiang Wanyin on the next day, because Wei Wuxian was with him and because he didn’t know what to say. And just like that, at the next day following that one, both sworn brothers and their top disciples left at dawn. They’d return to Yunmeng in a week or so.
Wen Ning woke up in his room at the early morning, just after they had left, and saw a note lying on the desk. He carefully stood up and walked to it and took the paper.
Just as receptive to fear, he felt annoyed, miffed, utterly offended. No apologies?! Jiang Wanyin was really someone else! His sister always made sure to apologize to him when she realized she went too harsh on him. It took time, yes, but he knew when she was regretful of her actions. Wen Ning was disappointed, but he couldn’t be that surprised.
Since you’re sort of back to normal, start training. There’s good quality bows and arrows in a storage at the drill grounds.
I don’t care if you practice your meditative archery or martial archery. But train . By the time I’m back, you better be a mighty archer, not respond to external nuisance when training and become faster.
Jiang Wanyin
And that was literally it. Wen Ning might have been soft hearted and compassionate, but he literally couldn’t put himself on Jiang Cheng’s shoes. He couldn’t understand his harsh, uncaring ways yet, and until the moment he did, he surely wouldn’t let it slide that easily.
… This wasn’t tough love at all, was it?!
“What is wrong with him?!” He audibly groaned.
There were step noises and a soft knock on the door. “Young Master Wen, are you alright? Is anything the matter?” said one of the female servants.
Wen Ning flinched. He just shouted his thoughts out loud! His sister would be disappointed. As sharp and firm she was, she never lost her composture nonetheless. What was he doing?
Blushing, he stuttered. “N-nothing! Uhm…” He had to fix that. “I… m-may I eat breakfast with you all?” He asked meekly.
The voice gasped in what it seemed to be positive surprise. “Yes! Of course you can!”
At least he could read into Lotus Pier’s people’s feelings. They had been very welcoming with his presence, making sure he didn’t feel ostracized. It was a different story with their leader, but as absent as he was, Wen Ning decided not to worry about him for that moment. He was internally angry, and he wanted to eat. So he washed himself, got dressed, tied his hair up and walked out of his room. The burst of energy he got from his annoyance made him walk confidently, as he was little to not self conscious at all.
As he arrived to the dining rooms with strong steps, he slid the door open vigorously. A few pairs of eyes looked at him with mild surprise, and his confidence plummeted down instantly, his posture crouching again and looking down.
One of the servants spoke, “Young Master Wen! Please have a seat!”
He obeyed and started eating, not daring to speak even if he wanted to. The servants were really lively and friendly once you got their trust, and he was less afraid of them than the disciples. Those intimidated him, but the servants didn’t. They did their chores diligently and with disciplined will, always with high spirits and their chins up. That pride was the trademark of Yunmeng Jiang sect with no doubt, Wen Ning mused to himself.
“You’re smiling,” one of the female servants noted with a smile herself. She was already an elder, probably the main chef, but her high spirits made her seem younger. “Does Young Master Wen like the food?”
Wen Ning blinked, but nodded anyways, because she was right: the food was delicious. “It… it is,” he affirmed quietly. “It’s been a while since I had t-tasty food.”
“Aw, that’s great! We all do our best on cooking,” she replied happily. “You’re so nice to get along with, Young Master!”
His cheeks turned pink, and he dared to smile more openly. “T-thanks, auntie… you too. Y-you all are so nice to me...”
They all seemed to coo at him. “You know, we all had our suspicions,” another servant chimed in. “But the healers saw that your energy wasn’t negative at all, and besides, Sect Leader really appreciates you! Someone he likes is definitely not a foe!”
Wen Ning’s smile faltered. “A-ah… I don’t think h-he does,” he whispered, looking down again. “He… he seems to despise me.”
They all looked at each other, then at him. “You’re absolutely wrong, Young Master Wen!” The chef auntie exclaimed. “If you’re talking about his temper, it’s curious yet reversed,” she said with determination, as the rest nodded unanimously. “He’s normally blunt, brutally honest and cool, yes, but that doubles when it’s about someone he cares for! He totally believes that scaring people and intimidating them will keep them safe and sound. We don’t excuse his foul language or his lack of tact, though. He can be real mean when he wants to.”
“But we saw the way he sees you,” another servant assured. “Uh, he might punish us for telling you this, but… he went to aid you every day after your physical recovery until you woke up. While you were comatose, he was the one who trespassed spiritual energy to you. Every day! He had to deal with the other nosy sect leaders, sect affairs and delegation, all that plus aiding you. He never, ever complained about it! He was more tired than usual, and not to talk about the days before those! He only calmed his spirits down when he knew you were out of risk. He was ferocious about you from day one! A true leader, as expected from Sandu Shengshou who rebuilt this sect himself!”
All the servants voiced prayers and praises to their Leader with smiles on, as if he were some kind of deity. Wen Ning was utterly confused. Some things were clearer now, yet he was still sulking a bit. But he threw that feeling behind his head real quick, as he let himself go with the flow, in between tasty food, welcoming people and laughter. He felt his shoulders relax, his lips open and his chuckles sweetening the already joyous atmosphere even more. That group of servants, was more like a group of relatives. It felt like a family. For the first time since… too long to recall, he felt at home with strangers. He didn’t feel like a hostage that much anymore.
Train. Train, train, train.
Wen Ning had headed to the drill grounds after he meal to practice archery. Effectively, he found a much better bow than the one he had found on the ground that day, and the arrows seemed brand new. So he picked up both and found a target away from the rest of the disciples to train peacefully.
He attempted to calm his mind, but all the bubbly feelings he had shared with the people from Lotus Pier had slowly mellowed into an empty, hollow feeling. How long would this last, until he was at the frontlines again? He couldn’t depend on Jiang Wanyin all the time.
He tended the bow and tried to breathe. He closed his eyes.
They don’t care.
Yeah, you don’t say. Wen Ning couldn’t even explain his reasons on why he said what he said that night.
His breath hitched and he impulsively let the arrow go. Thud. It had hit the wooden post that supported the target. Dang. He had lost his focus.
He shook his head, trying to dissipate his thoughts. He drew another arrow and tensed the bow again.
I ate, I didn’t starve that much.
Of course he didn’t. He ate just enough to not pass out from hunger. He ate leftovers, and most of the food was handed to the elders or the children.
Twang. The arrow hit the edge of the target. Damn it, Wen Ning, focus! You won’t improve on anything by arguing with ghosts!
I didn’t do my work properly.
Of course he didn’t. Jiang Wanyin didn’t know what had happened before he found him. He had to bury some of his people even if he watched over them and treated their wounds as he could; he couldn’t keep all of them alive. He didn’t know his shelter was only assured by him tripling the hard work so kids and grannies wouldn’t have to exhaust themselves. He didn’t know he lost that right only because his pneumonia had gotten worse due to the lack of spiritual energy to cure it autonomously, so he started being treated as cannon fodder the first time the Jins had seen him lack his usual labour force energy. Things had certainly gone downhill, but until that point, things were… manageable.
Twang . Closer to the target. He was using more strength on his shots.
But he didn’t know. Jiang Wanyin didn’t know anything about his strategies. He wasn’t that weak.
Twang.
He wasn’t that weak.
Twang. Twang.
He wasn’t weak. He definitely wasn’t weak!
Twang. Bullseye. His gaze could only see the target.
He stood up for his people! He did what he could! Not everything was sassy comebacks and a sharp blade!
Crack. His arrow had hit bullseye again, ripping the earlier one in two.
Sometimes, people really had to work under the shadows! It was better than exposing yourself to death! What is Jiang Wanyin thinking?!
He definitely wouldn’t meditate through archery that day.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
Was Wen Ning finally realizing how was he underestimating himself on the process?
He was squinting at the target, shooting arrow through arrow. He didn’t even feel the pain on his hands, due to the excessive strength while holding the bow and the string that started to cut through his fingers due to exhaustion and lack of practice between long periods of time. His gaze was furious, as he was channeling all the frustration and anger he felt towards this difficult Sect Leader Jiang. They said he cared, that he did all those things. But why did he show him so little of it?! If it wasn’t for the servants, he would still feel like an outsider, an inferior hostage. Jiang Wanyin didn’t help his condition in Lotus Pier at all! Why did he save him in the first place? Why did he behave like that? To not lose face?
He didn’t notice the small crowd that was gathering around him, either, until a disciple called his name right after shooting another arrow.
“Wen Qionglin! Hey!”
By then, Wen Ning flinched upon hearing his courtesy name from another person outside the servants, his demeanor quickly shifting from focused and tormented to mild and disposed. He quickly turned at the disciple, not making eye contact.
“U-uh, so-sorry for getting carried away,” he apologized while blushing beet red. Had he lost his composture again?
The answer was quickly at hand. “No! No, it’s okay. It’s… more than okay. We disciples didn’t know you were so good at archery,” the disciple had said.
In that moment, Wen Ning dared to look up, finally grasping the amount of people that were watching him, all of them staring at him with surprise or awe. He looked at the disciple who had gotten near him, seeing he was surely his age, healthy, nice-looking and had a warm expression on his face.
Wen Ning looked down again, holding his bow with both hands. “Oh… y-yeah,” he whispered, smiling sheepishly. “I… lost a bit of c-composture. I… I am a little off today… it has been w-weird lately.”
The nice disciple cracked a laugh. “This disciple knows. There isn’t anyone who hasn’t heard about you in here. Is it true that you helped Sect Leader and Young Master escape from Lotus Pier at the Wen assault times? Is it true that you helped them to recover Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s bodies to get their proper funerary rituals?”
Too much questions, too many people. Wen Ning simply nodded. The people around him audibly gasped. The disciple did too.
“You’re a real someone if you willingly went against Wen Ruohan,” He said earnestly. “Why are you shrinking? You deserve the spotlight. You don’t get to meet your sect leader’s savior twice!”
Wen Ning looked up timidly, and he confirmed his words weren’t sarcasm. He had a cheerful glint in his eyes and so the other people were. Some looks were still wary; Wen Ning didn’t blame them. But his humbleness really got through most of the disciples’ hearts.
“Uh… t-thanks,” he got to squeak out, smiling a little more.
The disciple noted his firm grip on the bow, and didn’t hesitate to dismiss the rest. Thank heavens. Wen Ning was way more comfortable now, as his shoulders relaxed and his grip loosened.
“Apologies for the ruckus,” he said, bowing properly this time. “I am Jiang Yizhou. The main archer of the sect.”
Wen Ning’s eyes widened. “Oh. N-nice to meet you.”
Jiang Yizhou smiled again. “I was training with the others and saw you shooting furiously at that target. Look, you made a feather bouquet of all the bullseyes you hit.”
Wen Ning jumped slightly at the view. The target was almost unseen in between so many arrows, all the way from the edges to the center, in which five arrows were split into two.
“Oh…” He also looked at his slashed fingers on his right hand. It had started to sting.
“I observed your technique,” Jiang Yizhou spoke. “Not to be nosy, but… you’ve been dealing with emotional pressure these days, yes?”
Wen Ning panicked. “U-Uh, I’m s-sorr-”
“No! It’s okay. Show what you feel. Besides, you can’t escape from expressing your current emotions on archery,” Jiang Yizhou mused. “But you must clear your mind at the time of training, or your feelings will release the arrows instead of your own head,” He explained. “As much as it’s martial development, archery in this sect is the finest way of taking care of oneself. A lot of disciples come to train whenever they feel troubled or altered.”
“O-oh,” Wen Ning chirped, lost in his mind. “I… I also practice meditative archery.”
“Heh, but that’s just that. Meditation. It’s slow, relaxed and peaceful. In here, we mix some of that along with quick reflexes, releasing the arrows with little gaps between them and the clear ideal of defending Lotus Pier from attacks. That’s the Yunmeng Jiang technique,” Jiang Yizhou said. “It’s all about defending what’s ours, while having each other’s backs and cleansing our hearts and minds. It’s all about caring and wanting to care.”
Wen Ning had mixed emotions about that. He understood his explanations, yes. But he still couldn’t understand Jiang Wanyin. Did he indirectly tell him to take care of himself while he was gone, “mighty archer” meaning him having control of his emotions and thoughts? Did he have faith on him rescuing his family? Or was he just as emotional as a rock and just wanted him to be a decent archer if a Jin came to snap his neck? All those troublesome double signals annoyed him to no end.
“Y-Young Master Jiang,” Wen Ning spoke, “c-could you have the kindness of… b-being my master…?” He timidly asked.
He was usually ready for a no, but all the emotional swarm that was making him snap also made something bloom inside him, tall and bright like the precious flowers around that place. Optimism. Confidence. Maybe he could do something about his inner turmoil. Maybe he could take care of himself while learning and being stronger… stronger enough to rescue his sister and his family. He needed to train now.
Jiang Yizhou’s grin was more than blinding as he bowed. “Of course, Young Master Wen. Please allow this disciple to guide you.”
Wen Ning returned the smile, still a little nervous. “Then… sha-shall we start tomorrow?”
The following days were the first time in a long while in where Wen Ning could say he really felt tired , but only because of good training and not due to exhaustion. The servants treated him as one more disciple, greeting him with smiles, giving him heaps of tasty and healing food (“so you know you’re at home now!” The chef auntie had said). The atmosphere was always nurturing in its different shades: sweet at the dining rooms, peaceful at the quiet platforms in the middle of the lakes, competitive at the drill grounds. Wen Ning slowly started to blend in the collective optimism, all that without losing his careful, sweet essence.
Jiang Yizhou was merciless during the training, making him not leave the grounds until he saw a shot with a 100% clear mind. That would take them hours and hours, only making pauses between meals. Due to winter, there were two or three days that were chilly and some of them kind of warm but rainy; the training never stopped even on those conditions, and Wen Ning quickly understood why and adapted to it. Those weather conditions were nothing compared to other things he had to go through.
He also spent time with the healers, sharing their knowledge with each other and checking up on his steadily growing health and spiritual energy. He would even aid the disciples at the drill grounds when they injured themselves while sparring, giving quick commands and being determinant on his diagnosis if things escalated to a sprained limb or a broken arm.
He didn’t realize this, but to the people in there, he was a certainly interesting flower. The shy, freezing bud that was him at the beginning, wasn’t there anymore.
Wen Ning was blooming, in days which people would usually wither.