Chapter Text
FBI
- Ash: she tries to keep up a strong image, especially since she’s one of Rainbow’s unofficial leaders, and accepts the facts in cold blood, nods and acts as she knows people expect her to do. However, a keen observer might see her hands shake, even if she refuses to talk about it with anybody. So basically she bottles up her emotions until eventually it all comes out in a terrible explosion of angry feelings.
- Thermite: he busies himself with work and uses humor to make people believe he’s fine. He’s really good at hiding his feelings, because he doesn’t want to make people worry. Unless someone knows him really well and can see through his facade, nobody would notice how deeply affected he truly is.
- Pulse: he learnt to cope in a healthy way from an early age, being in a military family his parents made sure he would know how to face death if the worst came to happen. He will talk to somebody about it, accept that he is angry and in pain, but he still knows that he needs to move on for himself and for the person who died. He might request counseling sessions if he felt he needed them.
- Castle: he copes with his feelings by helping others during those hard times. In fact, dealing with someone else’s grief helps him with his own, and there’s a soothing factor of slipping into a role he is familiar and comfortable with, it helps him feel slightly more in control.
SAS
- Thatcher: he’s used to death, and carries many ghosts with him. He takes the news calmly and goes to have a drink. Whiskey, preferably. One glass for him and one that will sit untouched. And he will just sit there in silence, with the drinks, reminiscing about the deceased. He’ll clink the glasses gently as a goodbye, wondering how he’s managed to keep alive for so long. “See you soon.” Then he finishes the drink and goes back to his life.
- Sledge: he sobs his heart out and might blame himself if he thinks he could have saved the dead person. He needs support, and his support are mainly two people he’s really close with: Thatcher and Maestro. Thatcher tries to teach him that you can’t fight dead, and to cope in the way he knows, with the drinks as a last goodbye.
- Smoke: he doesn’t get bogged down in the pain, and he prefers to remember the good times when he starts missing that person. Although he might tear up now and then, thinking about the person he lost, he is smiling. He tells a story about them to Charlie, because “as long as you remember them, they’re not fully gone.”
- Mute: he’s the youngest and still somewhat sheltered compared to others, not as used to death as the rest of the team. He reacts with sarcasm and hides his true pain, wanting to appear tougher than he is, distancing himself from everyone. Until Thatcher reminds him that it’s okay to show pain, and nobody in the team should suffer alone. Mute eventually breaks down, but he is embarrassed about it. Sledge would try to comfort him, but it might take some persuasion until Mute lets him (and the rest of the team) get to him.
GIGN
- Montagne: his whole identity is based around protecting others, when that fails… it’s bad. Really bad. He turns annoyingly overprotective, trying to compensate, like babysitting Doc to extremes never shown before, or sticking to Twitch as if it was a life of death situation even in the most laid back training sessions. He does it because it’s his way of showing he cares, and that he’s scared of losing them, but he ends up exasperating everyone, who are already dealing with their own issues. “You can’t save everybody all the time”
- Twitch: she takes the situation mostly coolly, she can accept death is part of their jobs and their life, but since she’s very empathic it’s watching other people break down what makes her sob uncontrollably. It’s not just the fact that she lost somebody, but the fact that the loss broke her friends as well. She gets weak when her friends get weak.
- Doc: if he loses a person as a doctor then he feels impotent. On the battlefield he’s more used to it, yet there would still be a certain degree of that too. Rationally, he knows it wasn’t his fault and shit happens in the battlefield, but it’s a relief to hear it all the same, he’s human after all. If he wasn’t on the mission where the person in question died, he teams up with Montagne to support everyone (and each other - someone has to remind the other to take a break and rest).
- Rook: he’s trying to sell the optimism angle (to the point of being annoying and falling into toxic optimism territory sometimes) to everybody, as a way to convince himself. Because, in fact, he’s trying to not break down and cry like a little kid.
Spetsnaz
- Tachanka: he gets a commemorative tattoo for every person he lost, for the ones important to him anyway. In fact, he would have a tattoo that grows, adding one extra nail for each death at the base of the eagle tatoo on his chest or back. If asked why a nail, he’d laugh and explain the joke: “one extra nail for the coffin.”
- Kapkan: he knows death is a natural part of life, and that it will come to everyone. If it’s a death on the battlefield, after the mission he would probably sit there in silence, processing that the person is gone. He would also insist on personally giving the news to the family, and if they refuse the dogtags, he’ll keep them - as a memento to the deceased. If the dead is someone he’s close with though, he closes off. Kapkan prefers to deal with his grief alone, and goes hunting to have time and space to sort through his emotions.
- Glaz: he creates something that reminds him of the deceased, immortalizing them in his paintings as a tribute. If he knew them well, he will give the finished piece to the family, or perhaps even put the painting in the dorms or the mess hall. Due to his calm nature, he is used to the other people coming to him for support.
- Fuze: the moment he sees someone close to him die, he closes off immediately. Which is not healthy. Only opens up to Glaz, who he knows will listen patiently to his embroiled emotions, and won’t judge him if he breaks down - like when they talked about Fuze’s MIA brother. However, he still has the team’s full support, and if they lost somebody and Ying tried to start and argument with Fuze, they would quickly shut it down.
GSG9
- Jäger: thinking about it too much would be his answer. He probably needs lots and lots of time to cope with the loss, and remembers how he lost his parents too early. He is used to it, but doesn’t want to talk about it, and he decides to start another engineering project that casually requires lots of attention - “out of sight is out of mind”. Slowly, he can cope with it, by thinking about it in small doses when he is building something.
- Bandit: he reacts so calmly that it seems cold to others, pushing down the pain and ridiculing it even: “What did you expect? That they will live forever?” Probably points out how the person made a mistake if they died in the battlefield. It’s purely to protect himself. Death reminds him that he is vulnerable as well, he’s been so close so many times, and he doesn’t want to think about the fact that every breath can be the last one. He would break down if he dwells on it for too long. So he denies that vulnerability and acts like he’s above it.
- Blitz: he breaks down, the reminder of how easily anyone can die, him included, is something he never quite learnt to accept. Sometimes it’s hard to face the fact that, despite all his training and experience, he is nothing but a human and couldn’t do anything to save them.
- IQ: she is a perfectionist and would take it as a fault of hers if someone of her team died in battle. It would heavily affect her, and she would either break down or obsess over what could have been done differently. In case of natural death, she would be able to cope with that pretty easily, approaching the scenario in a logical way and knowing there was nothing to be done. Natural death she can accept, sudden death is a jarring break and she gets caught in the what ifs.
JTF2
- Buck: highly pragmatic in all aspects of life, will take death in the same way. He mourns for the deceased and tries to move on, knowing he can’t stop his life because of it, and that death is a common risk in their line of work.
- Frost: she shares the same outlook and coping ways as Buck, with the difference that she likes to plan extensively before any operation in the hopes of minimizing risks. Still, she knows the stakes and the danger, and while she will be sad over anyone dying, she won’t let it consume her.
SEAL
- Valkyrie: she feels the pressure to be exemplary and tough at all moments, and won’t show much emotion. She drinks to forget, might pat her teammate’s shoulder, making sure they are alright and make sure they are still good to go: “we are still in this together, we will still solve it, we will survive”. However, she feels the need to reassure herself everything will be fine eventually, and may seek out some physical comfort.
- Blackbeard: he gets drunk after funeral, like totally shitfaced, as a way to shut away any feelings. He doesn’t want to think about how easily people can die, especially not when it comes to his family and friends, and drinking does the trick. “Shit’s fucked up, have a drink and don’t think.”
BOPE
- Capitao: he shares a drink with Thatcher (and pour a third one that nobody touches), and even if they stay mostly in silence he’s thankful for the company of someone who understands.
- Caveira: she doesn’t react too much, but anyone who is minimally observant can tell that she seems upset. She’ll go to the gym, staying hours on the punching bag, even if it’s in the middle of the night. Is it to just vent her feelings? To get stronger in the hopes she’ll be able to outwit and outpower death next time? Not even Caveira herself can tell.
SAT
- Hibana: she’s upset, but in a sedate way, not prone to outbursts. She does some meditation if she feels agitated, to help reconcile with the reality that the person is gone, and find some serenity when she misses the other person.
- Echo: he tends to keep people at a distance, so in most cases he doesn’t get too upset on a personal level. However, there’s still some resentment over the whole situation, because it’s unfair and that makes him sad and angry. He doesn’t know how to express it, so he’ll just close himself in the lab to experiment his anger away - robots are more reliable and durable than humans, and in a way that’s comforting.
GEO
- Jackal: he does not take death well - or rationally. It never fails to remind him of his brother’s murder, and he would probably break down, getting a new wave of depression. His insomnia gets worse and he can’t sleep for weeks . And while Doc monitors his symptoms and would quickly notice how he’s getting worse and intervene, nothing seems to help: not talking, and none of the sleeping meds he tries. Only time can heal some wounds… if Jackal allows it.
- Mira: due to her family history she hates losing people, and gets pretty emotional over death. She’ll go tinker in the workshop, tears blurring her vision while she works out her feelings while making one of her scrap metal statues. She also would find comfort in her partner’s arms (if she has one), or call her dad to talk with him. Just to find a little love and support to help her over the hard times.
SDU
- Ying: She’s not calm about it, but she’s not breaking down either. She just needs some time for herself. She gathers any photos or gifts/stuff she had of the dead person, reminisces about the good times, and says goodbye to them in her own way. Then comes back to work as always
- Lesion: has had many brushes with death, he’s pretty reasonable about the fact sometimes it doesn’t work out in someone’s favor. Takes the whole thing very calmly and stays up late drinking coffee and thinking. During that night, he does something the deceased liked, in their memory (drinking their favorite tea, or reading their favorite book, etc)
GROM
- Zofia: she can’t stop thinking about it, probably thinking that she could have stopped it, or that she wasn’t strong enough to prevent their death. The situation might also dredge up memories of her dad’s death (and her mom’s, if we assume she’s dead too), and maybe even from that time she was nearly drowned.
- Ela: she is a little more detached than her sister in that sense. She still finds it unfair, but she won’t obsess over it nor blame herself. If she needs to deal with her feelings, she does some messy/angry painting and gets the canvas (and herself) drenched in paint splatters until she feels better
707SMB
- Vigil: he has a lot of baggage to unpack relating to death. He would shut down and retreat into himself even more, as a means to protect himself. He can’t deal with it, doesn’t want to deal with it, he just feels the urge to protect that vulnerable side of him that never had an opportunity to heal after everything that happened to his family
- Dokkaebi: she’s a bit childish still, and tries to deny death, pretend that all is good. She doesn’t want to think or talk about what happened, or about the missing person that often. Others might think her attitude cold, when in fact it’s rooted in fear.
CBRN
- Lion: He would totally pretend to be alright, but would break down with somebody he trusts. Calls his son to reassure himself Alexis is alright, and to hear his voice. He asks Alexis about his day just to hear him talk. The mundane talk grounds him in a way.
- Finka: she fears illness more than death, and takes the reminders of mortality very calmly. There’s nothing to fear about dying, it’s the steps leading to it that might deliver the suffering, not death itself. In fact, she thinks death can be a relief in certain circumstances.
GIS
- Maestro: stable and dealing with it in a healthy manner, doesn’t deny his sadness but he’s not ruled by it. He would offer support and help to those he sees struggling with the situation.
- Alibi: no matter her feelings she’d keep herself impeccably composed in front of everyone, maintaining her cool aura. She might reach out to Maestro, or retreat into herself depending on how close she was to the dead person. The closer they were, the more she would shut off people, maybe even fall back to her old undercover methods of dealing with stress
GSUTR
- Clash: would use the anger she feels at their death to keep fighting in their memory, or to make them proud.
- Maverick: he’d be quite calm and deals with it normally and without a fuss. Might get a bit introspective but not for a long time.
GIGR
- Kaid: he offers a prayer for the dead in the privacy of his room, and for the next three days dresses in simpler clothes and doesn’t carry his ceremonial dagger/sword, as a show of respect.
- Nomad: not as traditional as Kaid. She respects the deceased in their own cultural terms, not her own: lights a candle, or says the appropriate prayer, ormakes a small shrine in their memory, etc. For non-religious people, she would she would maybe just buy a personal object what she can place on their grave or throw in the sea or something if the person was cremated
SASR
- Mozzie: he also uses humor to cover the pain. In some cases he might act out, do something mildly reckless to remind himself he’s still alive.
- Gridlock: her take charge attitude puts her in some sort of parenting role almost, as she makes sure all mundane things are covered: preparing the personal effects for the family, making sure how everyone is doing, quietly taking up the slack if someone needs some time, etc.
Phantom Sight
- Nokk: unphased, too used to being undercover and hiding her true feelings. She will only open up marginally around her mother. Otherwise, bourbon is her way to cope, so she can finally feel something that is not emptiness.
- Warden: death is death and it happens to everybody eventually, but he is very respectful and calm about it. After all, he always strives to act as a gentleman, even in the hardest situations. Probably helps to arrange the funeral.
Ember Rise
- Amaru: due to her interest in culture and history and keeping it documented, she keeps a small journal where she writes about the people she meets, their customs and quirks and anything she can think of. When she starts missing someone who is no longer with her, she turns to her journal, like it’s a book of memories.
- Goyo: he has some hefty baggage in the death area after what happened to his family when he was a kid, and still relies on Amaru’s strength nowadays to get through the dark times. She’s his rock, and his family by choice if not by blood.
Shifting Tides
- Kali: unless it’s someone she was REALLY close to, she’d be more inconvenienced by the whole ordeal than anything else. In the rare occasions she cares, she would throw her money around: get them the best care/doctors, to make sure she did everything humanly possible, and then throw a lavish funeral because they deserved the best and they’ll have it both in life and death.
- Wamai: death doesn’t affect him much, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, so what’s one less in the grand scheme of things? A single life is like a drop in the ocean, it doesn’t change much, and the waves they made will eventually die. He meditates about it all while in his immersion tank.
Void Edge
- Iana: she mixes science and spirituality to find comfort. To her, once you die your energy returns to form part of the vast universe again, instead of being contained. Why be afraid or saddened by death, when it just means to float among the stars?
- Oryx: he’s very stable and prides himself on his self-control, something like death wouldn’t dent that in the slightest. It doesn’t mean he is impervious to it, though, and he would go for a run and think about life after such an event.
Steel Wave
- Melusi: stoic and accepting of the harsh realities of life. She prefers focusing on the future and what can be done for those still alive, rather than obsessing over the past and roads not taken. She won’t forget, but she still looks to the future.
- Ace: he tries to look tough, crying would probably ruin the hero image he wants to project. However, he breaks down when he’s alone. He does so silently though, crashing down on his couch and looking into the void waiting for something… he doesn’t really know what, but it can’t be worse than the emptiness he feels.
Shadow Legacy
- Zero: he’s out of fucks to give, unless it’s his daughter he’s not going to react much. He joins Thatcher and Capito for a drink and some companionable silence. When he was younger, he would have tried to get in bed with someone, nothing like a good fuck to remind yourself you’re still alive.
Neon Dawn
- Aruni: she almost died and came out of it with a remarkable optimist outlook. Yes, life is fleeting and fragile, but that doesn’t mean one should stop fighting. It’s always sad to come to the end of someone’s road, but you can only keep on yours and remember them fondly. She’d check on Thermite since she knows he tends to hide how deeply affected he can be sometimes.