Chapter Text
'The Black Bulls?!'
Nozel sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and prepared to hash out the same conversation with his little sister for the third time that day.
Said little sister glared up at him, cheeks stained pink with what he presumed was a mix of humiliation and frustration.
'Noelle-,' Nozel tried and was immediately cut off.
'The Black Bulls, Nozel! The worst squad in the magic knights?!'
Nozel sucked at his teeth and made a so-so gesture with one hand. 'Well...Technically yes,'
Noelle stared at him. For all that Nozel was impressed that she'd broken out of her diminutive shell, he was a little dismayed at the way she was regarding him as if she needed to summon the men in white coats to spirit him away to the madhouse.
'Technically. I suppose by technically you mean in stars earned, missions assigned, number of members, and overall prestige and reputation? May I remind you The Black Bulls are at the bottom in every category!'
'Yes. Yami does not care about stars or prestige or reputation. And I hate to admit but it serves him well. For all he's uncouth Yami is more than capable as a captain, if he weren't the Black Bulls would have triple the property damage and civil lawsuits leveled against them. They may be a bunch of unruly miscreants but-,' Nozel huffed, 'I know that with Yami at least, you'd be looked after.'
'You'd look after me!'
'No.' Nozel said, quietly, shocking Noelle temporarily dumb. 'I'd try certainly, perhaps Solid and Nebra would step in and try in my stead. But sooner or later, we wouldn't be around. We won't be there. I trust the Silver Eagles with my life, Noelle. But I do not trust them with yours. Nor will I trust any other, except for those trained by Yami Sukehiro.'
Noelle's voice had become small again and Nozel hated himself for it. 'But why him? Why his squad?!'
'Well,' Nozel paced the room, behind his desk and threw himself (without his usual aplomb) into his desk chair, rubbing at his eyes wearily.
'For a start, the man was handpicked by the Julius Novachrono himself to serve as a high-ranking member of the Grey Deer until his ascension. For all the man's eccentricities, Sukehiro must have considerable power to be considered for the personal tutelage of the Wizard King, and as a consequence most definitely knows how to use it. Do you understand what I'm saying?'
Nozel looked levelly at Noelle to see how she was taking in this information. Noelle stared back, non-comprehending.
Nozel resisted- incredibly hard- the urge to roll his eyes. He was sure he hadn't been so slow on the uptake when he was her age. Then again, by the time he'd earnt his grimoire his mother was dead, his infant sister had only just been teething and he'd found himself having to wrangle his other siblings into some semblance of decorum as the head of the Silva family but he'd managed!
Well.
He hadn't managed at all, actually. In fact, he'd done a pretty shitty job, all things considered.
'Sukehiro has no family and no lineage but the ear of the most powerful man in the country. That says to me that Julius has plans for him, has plans for his squad,'
Steepling his hands just under his chin, he surveyed his sister keenly.
'Reprobates with no future do not have the attention of men like Novachrono, Noelle. And so no matter what the gossip rags have to say about Yami, the man isn't a complete idiot. He is, in fact, as exceptionally powerful as he is shrewd.'
'What I mean to say is that he won't be interested in using your name or your power for his own agenda. One, he has no need of and the other, he couldn't care less about. I have never known the man to show a modicum of respect to anyone society would mark as his better. Including the actual, sovereign ruler of this land,'
'I never thought he deserved much respect either,' Noelle sniffed, 'He's so... Pompous!'
Nozel smirked. 'We do not say such things out loud, Noelle,' He chided, gently. Ignoring him (really, how had it come to this?) Noelle steamed on.
'So you're sending me to the ends of the earth to live amongst people that don't respect my heritage, my name, or my status? That sounds awful!'
'Is it? How many people at court do you know who respect you for any of those things?' Nozel asked, bluntly. It elicited, as he knew it would a sharp intake of breath that he knew accompanied another wound to his sister's already fatally wounded pride.
It had already been beaten to a slow death by each annual family dinner she had been forced, by Nozel's own mandate to attend. His (admittedly flawed) rationale had been that if Nozel couldn't survive a five-hour dining experience from hell then he may as well take Sukihero's ridiculous idea to heart and lock the girl in a tower.
Unlawful confinement?
Perhaps.
Ensured safety from a world hell-bent on stripping her of any moral fiber?
Worth it.
Noelle had, of course, attended every year with her chin held high like the princess she was. She had sat between Nozel and her cousin and by dessert, all that stiff-upper-lip haughtiness would be gone. No matter how Nozel (and for the past couple of years, Nebra) redirected, changed the subject, or outright interrupted, the conversation would inevitably circle back around to the subject of Noelle's magic.
Which is where it would stay, with Noelle desperately attempting to become one with her dining chair, Solid sulking, and Nebra glancing nervously at Nozel who would have given up eating about twenty minutes into the whole fiasco and would sit, grinding his teeth and attempting to wrestle his own roiling mana less he accidentally cause a major diplomatic incident in his own dining room.
Noelle's stubbornness, though laudable, could not protect her already battered heart.
Nozel, the sole appointed guardian of said heart, tried again to persuade her to see his point of view.
'Yami is a scoundrel with a bad gambling habit but he practically challenged me to a duel over an imagined slight towards a disinherited spacial mage. He protects his own, Noelle. They protect each other, in fact. You could learn a lot from them. It is a level of comradery that I don't think any other squad would afford you,'
Noelle, suddenly absorbed in the color and texture of her brother's office carpet whispered, 'Because of my magic.' They both tried to ignore how her voice cracked.
'Because you, little sister have always worked twice as hard as anybody else and Yami is the only one who will respect you for it. You need that, you really do,'
'I thought... When my magic got better-,' Noelle pinked and stared hard at the plasterboard behind Nozel's desk, biting her lip.
'Solid and Nebra will never let me forget,' she mumbled, then roused herself and cried shrilly, 'But I could prove myself to the squad captains, Nozel! I can be of use, I swear!'
'That, is precisely the point!' Nozel's fist came down hard on the desk, the impact sending an elegant ink bottle and its accompanying quill flying. He paid the growing black stain on vintage mahogany no mind.
'You can't live for the approval of others, Noelle! Their belief, their perception of how valuable you are cannot sustain you, you need to have value for yourself!'
'I know I have value!' Noelle argued indignantly, 'I know what I am worth!'
'Really.' Nozel stared at her, something very sad casting a shadow over his impassive features. He didn't look like he believed her. And he didn't.
'Tell me one thing about yourself that you like. One thing-,' he held up his finger when Noelle motioned to answer immediately, 'That isn't related to our name. That is uniquely yours,'
Noelle opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out. Feeling the tell-tale heat in her cheeks, Noelle turned her gaze downcast to stare at her shoes as though she would find the answer to her brother's question written across the straps of her sandals. She could think of nothing. Not a single positive thought about herself came to mind. Only the derogatory comments of others and casual cruelty discussed over cheesecake with a glass of wine in hand.
How pathetic.
Noelle felt the tell-tale searing of humiliated tears and made herself blink them away.
'You see? Nozel said clumsy but gentle. It was a trademark of his these days.
'We hurt you, Noelle. The Silver Eagles would take every negative thought you've ever had and convince you it was the truth. I would be condemning you to that kind of negativity for the rest of your career, Noelle and I refuse to be culpable for destroying what little remains of your self-worth,'
Nozel sighed, and it sounded closer than he should have.
Noelle felt emboldened enough to glance up despite the tears she knew were still shining in her eyes. Her brother had come to crouch in front of her, and now reached out and took hold of one of her hands and carefully unfurled it from where she had clenched it, unthinking, into a tight fist, nails biting at flesh.
Nozel tutted quietly as the bloody crescent moons Noelle had made in the meat of her palms were revealed and tugged at her wrists gently until she was standing with her back pressed against the mahogany wood of the desk.
Familiar with this routine from a childhood filled with scrapes from clumsiness or mana, (or being hunted around the estate) Noelle gingerly lifted herself onto the desk and let her brother attend to her hands with his trademark single-minded determination. Nozel always seemed to need a distraction from what she had heard Solid refer to whilst sniggering as; 'girl-talk'.
According to Solid, this seemed to incorporate everything to do with feelings that were apparently considered to be un-masculine. He'd regretted saying this within earshot of Nebra, who had demanded to know what he meant and before Noelle had known what was going on half a war had broken out over the breakfast table. In retrospect, it was amusing. Nozel hadn't even looked up from his morning tea and paper.
At the time it had caused Noelle to very quietly have a panic attack.
Nozel cleaned the wounds with a bitter-smelling solution that stung and smeared the abrasions with a strange-smelling cream. As he began to wind bandages over the marks he said, slowly, 'This is not a punishment. Not some new way to hide you away because I'm ashamed,' Rather nonsensically he added fervently, 'You are not a princess in a tower!'
Caught off guard, Noelle nodded, feeling a little stupid. That stood to reason, the palace didn't have towers. It had parapets at best. If there was a tower, Nebra would've called dibs years ago.
Nozel gently nudged her chin up to properly meet her eyes and Noelle saw the sincerity there.
'I am proud of you Noelle. You've come such a long way from being the scared ten-year-old that hid under my cape-' Noelle felt her face become heated, that was one time and she's hadn't heard the end of it since. '-but I cannot protect you from everyone, and I cannot teach you to protect yourself when it was I that first taught you that you shouldn't,'
Finished with the bandages, Nozel took hold of her shoulders, firm and unyielding.
'You will make me proud.' he stated, resolute, as he always was. 'You have the strength to do what none of us have ever had the courage to. You can grow. You can learn. You can surpass the limits of us all. The Bulls will be the ones to teach you how.'
Noelle stared at him. He had faith? In her? Weak and unassuming Noelle? Her brother must be taking leave of his senses.
A look that resembled fondness passed over his usually tightly wound features and he reached out to gently cup the side of her face in a broad palm. Familiar with the gesture since it had first been used by a terrified teenager on a delirious child in a dark infirmary years before, Noelle leaned into the touch.
'Have some faith, Noelle. You're more like her than you think.'
Knowing without a doubt as to whom her brother was referring, Noelle opened her mouth to ask 'how', needing to know more about the mythical being that had given birth to her. Acier Silva came up in conversation so rarely, Noelle knew little about her mother's life. Comparatively, she knew too much about her death.
Before Noelle could, she was interrupted by a silver shimmer and the messy head of sandy hair that popped out of it, followed by an equally ruffled body and giving Noelle a nervous sort of grin.
'Um. Hi?'
He saw Nozel looming behind her, softness wiped clean leaving him stone-faced and terrifying. The boy blanched. 'P-prince Nozel, ah... Didn't mean to interrupt you, sir. I just- well, Yami said to pick up your sister right now, well actually he kinda yelled it, like he always does so I portaled right... Over?'
He cleared his throat, still looking mildly terrified. 'He said you were expecting me?'
Taking pity and looking to put the poor guy out of his misery, Noelle nudged her brother gently and raised her eyebrows meaningfully as if to say, 'You're sure about this? Really?'
He looked down at her, gaze softening in the way he only ever usually allowed when it was just the two of them. He jerked his chin in an affirmative.
Noelle nodded back her acceptance and stepped forward regally. The picture-perfect princess.
'Fortunately for you, you are expected, peasant. I am princess Noelle Silva and in my presence, it is generally expected that peasants bow.'
For a moment the young man stared at her, visibly taken aback by her abrupt manner and royal comportment. Then he proceeded, to Noelle's astonishment actually bow, with a most extravagant flourish of his wrists but with an expression on his face so solemn Noelle had no reason to question his seriousness.
'I apologize, your majesty. I forget myself in your overwhelmingly luminous company.'
Noelle, to her horror, felt her face begin to glow, felt her cheeks flood with color. In all honesty, she'd been trying to channel her siblings to channel their graceful authority but knew she had fallen short.
Solid, she knew, would never give anyone beneath his rank the time of day, Nebra had been witnessed literally walking over hopeful suitors and it was rare that anyone actually dared speak with Nozel unless it was in the form of a report.
Of all the reactions she'd expected, from the numerous trials Noelle had undertaken, no one had actually... Well. Treated her like a princess before.
Noelle tried for an imperious sniff, knowing full well that this was fully belayed by her absolutely flattered flush.
'Well, it just sounds silly when you do it.'
Her brother let out an amused huff and placed a hand on Noelle's shoulder, squeezing lightly in farewell. 'I'll see you next week, Noelle. Family breakfast. Don't be late.'
This last remark was directed to the gangly youth, who bobbed his head hastily and grinned uncomfortably until Nozel had left the room.
Noelle suddenly felt guilty.
'Um.' She stammered, 'You don't have to bring me back. I can find my own way. I usually do!'
This was a lie. Noelle rarely left the house, sprawling as it was, let alone the capital. She had no idea how she'd find her way back to the family estate by herself.
The young man smiled, pleasant and at ease once more. 'Not to worry, princess. I am basically at Yami's beck and call so really, servant really wasn't too far off. I'm Finral, by the way.'
He held out his hand, but Noelle could tell he'd immediately second-guessed that decision from the way he glanced at her from beneath his bangs as if he thought she was going to leap forward and bite him for the gesture.
She took the outstretched palm and shook it. 'Noelle,' she replied, 'Although, I think I already mentioned that,'
Finral grinned. 'So I don't have to address you as 'her royal highness' every time? Whew, what a relief. Such a mouthful!'
'Oh gods,' Noelle moaned, snatching her hands back to cradle her burning face in them, 'I sounded like a complete idiot didn't I?'
Finral giggled, but it wasn't mean sounding, or mocking. 'Eh. Wasn't the worst introduction I've ever had. No flaming firewall of death this time!'
At her visible confusion, he waved an airy hand. 'Magna, our fire mage. You'll meet him soon enough. He has this insane initiate ceremony but seeing how you've got water magic you should be able to match him pretty well,'
'Oh,' Noelle tried not to look crestfallen but failed miserably. 'There's an initiate ceremony?'
Finral gave her a long, searching look. 'Not an official one. Honestly, I think Yami just lets Magna crack on because if he's outside trying to give other people a hard time he's not inside and trying to barbeque the good meat. It's a bit of fun. Vanessa and I won't let anyone get seriously maimed, I can portal you away like that.'
Finral snapped his fingers and several small blinked open and shut instantaneously letting out short bursts of white light. Noelle gaped in awe. Any spatial magic she's seen had been huge and showy. She'd never seen it used so intricately or delicately before.
'I've never seen a mage open up more than one portal at once- aren't they supposed to be harder the more of them there are? Your control must be amazing!'
Finral flushed crimson. 'Er... I'm not bad, I guess. You should see my brother's, he's- well he's way better than me. But I've heard yours isn't half bad either!'
'It's all bad.' Noelle crossed her arms, defensive. 'I can cast the spell! But when I go to release it, half the time it doesn't go where I want it to go. Usually, I just end up soaked and-' She shivered. 'And I hate getting wet.'
'Huh.' Finral hummed, looking thoughtful.
'I had a similar issue when I was your age. My fam- The Vaudes, rather, have a long, proud tradition of offensive spacial magic. Negating space essentially. Very handy for lopping off limbs or, hell, wiping entire armies out. If you're good enough.'
Seeing Noelle's wide eyes he grimaced, self-deprecating.
'No, I can't do it. I tried. More than anything I wanted to earn- But I couldn't.' Finral shook his head, his messy hair flopping into his eyes with the movement.
'I just couldn't get past the idea of hurting someone like that. That's not me.' He shrugged, looking shy and awkward. Noelle thought that he was right. That kind of brutality seemed ill-fitting for the kind-eyed, gangly youth before her.
(Years later, after meeting Langris on the battlefield, she would think that his black powers suited him- they were well-matched to his sharp grin and empty eyes.)
'What did your family do? When you told them you couldn't?'
Finral's open expression shuttered abruptly. 'Oh. I left.'
Noelle immediately felt guilty for prying. 'Sorry. My brother says I ask too many questions.'
Finral tilted his head and smiled. 'It's alright. The Black Bulls made me feel wanted. I never felt that way with them. Yami can be a cantankerous, short-tempered jerk but he's a good captain. He'll never give up on you, and he'll never let you give up on yourself. We all owe him a lot. Just, er,' Final grimaced, sheepish. 'Don't tell him I said any of that? He'll mess up my hair and call me a wuss which would really undermine all that positive image building I've been trying to do here.'
Noelle giggled. 'I'll never tell.'
Finral grinned back, waved one elegant hand and a portal opened up, glimmering prettily. 'Cool. So, you ready to go?'
Noelle glanced around her brother's office space and halted when she got to the window. From here she could just about see the red, pink, and orange blooms of the rose garden where she'd nearly met a grim end ten years ago. These walls had been equal parts of prison and sanctuary ever since. Nozel thought that she could be brilliant, believed she could stand as powerful of a knight as their parents had been. Her siblings had given her a rough introduction to the world of mana and she'd learned so many harsh lessons already. Was she ready to learn more?
She set her jaw and nodded, lips pressed together in a thin white line. 'I'm ready,'
She stepped through the portal.
Everything was on fire. There was screaming.
Finral sighed ruefully at her back.
'Welcome to the Black Bulls.'