Chapter Text
Robb POV
Sleep.
That is what I want most right now is sleep. To collapse onto my bed and sleep until winter has come and gone. But doing that seems very far away with all the shit is going on.
My brother was poisoned and hasn’t woken in three weeks.
The Library of my castle was set on fire and I have been up all night trying to help put it out.
And then someone tried to kill my brother.
Both before I had been Lord more than 24 hours.
I must be the worst Lord the North has ever seen.
The thought rings in my head and no matter how much I try to push it out of my head.
None of those things take into account the very present fact that my loving Mother seems to have been replaced by a hateful, shallow woman who has beaten my brother.
I can’t do this.
There is just too much, I am not ready for this shit!
Someone else can handle this, I am not ready.
I am currently taking refuge in Father’s office and the seemingly endlessly tall stack of paper sitting in front of me only made me feel worse.
I try to take a deep breath and calm myself down but it seems to be getting difficult.
I hear a knock on my door and I want to shout at whoever it is to go away but I can’t find the words. Luckily, it is only Jon who steps through the door and looks at me.
I try to put on a calm facade but I’m not sure it is working.
“We are gathered,” he says referring to the group of people gathering to talk about who tried to kill Bran.
I try to shake my head and stand. Shoving my worries down and be confident like I know Father would be but I can’t seem to do it, all that comes out is the one thing that won’t stop rattling around my brain.
“I can’t do this,” I say and Jon looks at me with confusion all over his face.
“What?” he asks, stepping up so he is square with me.
“I haven’t even been a Lord for 24 hours, and I already let someone burn my castle and let a cutthroat in to kill my brother. There is someone better who can do this. I am not ready for any of this. How am I supposed to--” I am rambling and my eyes are getting more and more blurry with tears until a large whack cuts me off.
I look up and see Jon’s hand sitting on the desk in front of me where he must have slapped it hard. I look down to see a few papers had scattered around the room due to the impact. I look up at him and he is staring at me with an intense look on his face.
“Stop talking, close your eyes and take a breath,” he orders, which I follow.
I close my eyes and take a breath but Jon talks again.
“No! Take a deep breath,” he orders again and I pause myself before taking in a deep breath and letting it out.
I open my eyes and he is still looking at me but not as intensely as before.
“Good, now that you are not about to pass out, I can talk to you about the stupidity that just came out of your mouth,” he says but I shake my head no.
“It is not stupid Jon, I am not ready for this. I told Father and I was right,” I say trying to get him to understand but he shakes his head no determinedly.
“Do you think I was ready to fight that giant Wildling in the forest that day?” he asks me and I shake my head yes. “Well I wasn’t, I was scared out of my mind. But it didn’t matter, you needed me, Dany needed me and I was not going to let you down.”
I am surprised by the admission but I continue listening to Jon.
“Now you have been awake for over a day, your castle was attacked and your brother threatened. I think it is fair to say you have had the worst luck as far as first days go,” he says and I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my mouth at how true that statement is. “But despite all that, you need to step up, right now. Your Kingdom needs you, your family needs you. I have known you 17 years and I have never seen you back down from a challenge. Are you going to start now?”
He looks at me expecting an answer and I feel a smile spread on my face.
He’s right, the North needs me, and I have always loved a good challenge. No one said this was going to be easy.
“No,” I say confidently and he shakes his head in approval allowing a smile to spread on his face.
“Good,” he says. “Everyone has gathered.”
As he says it, he walks to the door and opens it.
I take a shallow breath and exhale it quickly before standing and walking with my new found confidence out the door, Jon falling into stride next to me.
“Thanks,” I say as we walk.
I look over at him with a small smile on my face but he is looking directly ahead instead of at me.
“Not a problem...Lord Stark,” he says and I let out a laugh at the title.
We continue our walk quietly and calmly as I think about what Jon had said to me.
That is why I wanted him around. I won’t find a better companion and friend than him.
And he’ll never be afraid to yell at me if I need it.
We eventually walk into the Godswood where everyone is. Dany is standing next to Luwin and Theon, while Rodrik and Mother are standing opposite of them.
We walk in and all of their eyes find us immediately. Jon walks and stands next to Dany while I situate myself between him and Theon.
“What do we know?” I ask and Rodrik is the first to speak.
“This dagger the killer used, it’s too fine a weapon for such a man. The blade is Valyrian Steel, the handle dragon bone. Someone gave it to him,” he says and I nod my head at him.
“Someone is trying to kill Bran,” I hear from my right.
I look up at my Mother and see she has bandages on her hands where the cutthroat’s blade dug in. She glances at Jon and Dany for a second before continuing.
“This was the second attempt on his life, first the poisoning now this,” she says anger in her voice.
“Why would someone want to kill Bran?” Dany asks.
“I don’t know, but I would stake my life the Lannisters are involved,” she says and Theon scoffs.
“The Prince was also poisoned, if the Lannisters did this, why would they poison Prince Tommen as well?” Theon asks and something occurs to me.
“Maybe they didn’t,” I say and all eyes look towards me. “That night, the Prince drank from Bran’s cup, not his own. It’s possible poisoning the Prince was accidental.”
The circle falls into silence as anger takes a hold of me.
“They come into our home and attack our family. If it is war they want…” I start my anger speaking for me.
“If it is war you know I will always stand with you,” Theon says, beginning to draw his sword but Luwin cuts us both off.
“What, are you going to fight that war in here in the Godswood,” Luwin’s calm voice says. “Very easily words or war become acts or war.”
I take a deep breath again, but this time trying to rein in my anger, because I know that he is right. This is a dangerous conversation, being hot-headed will get me nowhere but trouble.
“We do not know the truth of this,” Luwin continues while looking around the circle before his eyes land on me. “Lord Stark must be told of this.”
“Can we trust a raven with these words?” Jon asks, speaking for the first time in the conversation.
“I would not,” Rodrik says calmly and I nod in agreement. “He must be told, in person.”
We stand in silence as I think over what the next best course of action is.
Someone needs to go to Kings Landing, but who? Theon?
“I can go,” a voice to my right says and I am surprised to find my Mother to be the source of the voice.
She is staring right down at me and I look back up at her and for a second I see the loving caring women but then a voice interrupts our staring contest and her scowl returns.
“Really? You?” Dany asks incredulously, distrust and amazement dripping in her voice.
Not that I blame her, she has not shown herself in the best way recently, her words from yesterday still ringing in my ears.
Mother throws her a mean scowl but when I look over at Dany, she has a challenging look on her face as she glares at the older woman. I can’t help the smirk that comes on my face at her defiant look, and I notice Jon is also smiling at her.
“I have not been in a long time but I do know the capital, and I have friends there. I will be able to keep a low profile. Robb let me do this,” she says to me and I want to believe her but I don’t know if I can.
I look over the circle and Luwin, Rodrik and Theon have patient looks, while Dany is still angry. Jon has a smile on his face as he looks at me and I feel extremely grateful to know he is there.
I think about all the things we need done and quickly come to a decision, so I turn towards the center and address all of them.
“I will not make this decision now, I will think it over and have an answer for all of you later,” they all nod obediently except for Jon who is still just standing there with a stupid smile on his face. “But right now we also have other things to think about. Ser Rodrik, there is a guard outside Bran’s door?”
He nods immediately.
“Of course my lord,” he says.
“Good, we need to start rebuilding the library, Maester Luwin, will you get together with the necessary people and start making plans for what we will need and how long it will take,” I say and he nods before I turn to Theon. “Go with him and help anyway you can, when you have something put together, let me know.”
He gives me a smirk before leaving with Maester Luwin and Rodrik.
I turn to Mother and continue.
“Go back to Bran’s room, when I wish to speak with you, I will summon you,” I say and turn away from her before she can say anything.
“Dany, we still have not gotten a complete account with what we will need as far as food and wine stores after our Royal Family pillaging, will you meet with the cooks and get an idea of where we stand?” I ask her and she gets a nervous look on her face.
“I have never done anything like that before,” she says and I give her a smile.
“I wouldn't ask you if I didn’t think you could handle it. You're smart, I trust you to figure it out,” I say and I see Jon give her hand a squeeze where they are intertwined between them.
She gives me a proud smile before nodding and making her way out of the Godswood.
When it is just me and Jon let out a big breath and take a seat on the rock behind me and Jon still just stands there looking at me with that same smile.
“Will you wipe that stupid smile off your face?’ I ask him and he laughs putting his hands up but the smile remains.
“I was right, when you aren’t freaking out, you make a pretty damn good lord,” he says with a smile and I let out a small laugh.
“Thanks,” I say looking down and I feel my exhaustion start to catch up with me but I shake it off as I stand.
“What would you like me to do?” Jon asks as we start our walk.
I give him a side glance.
“Sleep, you look like you could use it.”
“I don’t sleep til you do,” he says simply and I smile. “So what can I do?”
“I’m sure I can find something to keep you occupied,” I say and we begin a trek back towards Father’s office.
As we walk, I think about what Mother said and debate in my head if I can trust her to go to Kings Landing. I don’t know if I can trust her but then again, I’m not sure who else I could send that I could spare. We are down so many people as it is.
“Would you send her to Kings Landing?” I ask.
“Yes,” Jon says immediately knowing what I was talking about. Like he already knew what I was going to ask.
“Why? After what she did to you, I’m not sure I can trust her” I say and he nods next to me.
“Way I see it, in her mind, she did what she did to make sure you all were protected. I think if you can trust her for anything, you can trust her to help protect her children,” he says and I nod along.
We eventually reach my office and I send Jon to help oversee how bad the damage was, figuring Luwin and Theon could use the help.
I sit at my desk and collect the documents that had scattered around the room before putting them on the desk in front of me.
I struggle to understand some, but I had seen most of them before when working with Father so I manage.
The question of who to send to Kings Landing is always in my mind throughout the day, never giving it my full attention but always having it in the back of my mind.
Eventually when I stand and decide to go see how everything is doing, as I walk, I ultimately decide what I need to do. It will be hard, but I don’t want her around.
I can trust her to protect her children but not around my siblings.
After a short meeting with Luwin and Theon, I ask a guard to retrieve my mother and return to my office. I spend a few more minutes going over some of the papers in front of me before there is a timid knock on my door.
“Come,” I say and Mother walks through the door with a nervous smile on her face.
The last time we were in this room together, I had just learned about what she had done to Jon, the pain and betrayal I felt still fresh in my mind.
She automatically sits in the seat in front of me and waits for me to begin.
“I was leaning towards not sending you, for the simple fact that I’m not sure I can trust you,” I say and she looks down at her hands. “But after talking with Jon, he helped me see that I can trust you to protect your children.”
“You can,” she says immediately and seriously.
“Good, you leave tomorrow with Ser Rodrik,” I say and she gets a grateful look on her face and she looks at me caringly but I keep a scowl on my face.
“Thank you Robb,” she says and begins to stand but my voice cuts her off.
“But, when you leave Kings Landing, you will not be returning here,” I say and she freezes.
“What?” she breathes out.
“You heard me, I do not want you in my castle anymore. I can trust you to protect your children, but not around my siblings. I was already thinking about throwing you out before Father left, yesterday with Dany was the last straw.”
“Robb, you can’t do this,” she says pleadingly but I cut her off.
“But I can and I am. You can go to Riverrun to be with your Father, you can visit your sister, you can go to Braavos for all I care but for as long as I’m lord, you will never be allowed inside Winterfell again,” I say allowing the days of hatred and betrayal that had been stirring come out in my voice.
“Robb…” she tries again but I am not having it.
“No! You do not get to beg, you lost that right, along with the right to be my mother, you lost that right the day you first laid a hand on my family,” I snarl out.
She nods, with tears in her eyes and exits the room, with me staring at the woman I thought I knew walk out for the last time.