Chapter Text
It started out very simple, Toshiro Hitsugaya had to keep telling himself that as he watched his chest rise and fall. Well, he watches the head resting on his chest slowly raise and fall, her breathing mirroring his own. He felt her move against him, another murmur of some hazy cosmic jam. He tries to tell himself everything is fine, nothing untoward is happening. This is just the sort of danger their little arrangement came with. He didn’t want to move her though, he was afraid how she would move when he closed his eyes.
Rangiku Matsumoto slumbers, using her superior officer as a cushion and she doesn’t have a care in the world. In her dreams perhaps she sees drums or hears thunder because that’s all Toshiro can feel in his chest.
He didn’t sign up for this, he didn’t sign up for this at all. It was just supposed to be something done out of comfort...
---
It was out of necessity the first time.
It was an honest mistake that happened thanks to circumstance and poor timing. An impromptu mission to the human world and the scrimping that came from command.
For once they could find no room at the inn. Orihime couldn’t put the squa ten duo up, Ichigo offered a closet and Rukia had not been kind in her reviews of chateaux Ichigo. That meant taking the cash that they had and finding a room around town. Hotels were cheap but that was about all they could afford. This season had not been kind to their division’s budget. Lots of repairs, lots of equipment replacements and an almost upsetting amount of cleanup from incidents. Impromptu invasions, weapons rebelling and more.
It led them to a place that had a three star review and the glowing comment of “I think nobody died here.”
“This is sad.” Toshiro was the first one to say it but he perfectly echoed Rangiku’s thoughts. The wallpaper was plain, tasteless, the floor was an auburn shag carpet that was designed to hide stains rather than clean them. The furniture looked older than some of their ancient colleagues.
The worst offender though was the bed. A single bed tight to the corner opposite the window, pressed up lovingly tight to the wall. Rangiku tested the mattress pushing down on it, it didn’t yield and even when she tried to bounce on it with all her weight she mostly sagged.
“Oh no,” Rangiku said, “this is….dire.” She looked to her captain and clasped her hands tight. “Toshiro we must have some more discretionary funds, anything, I’ll write you an I.O.U. if you can even dip into your personal finances.”
“Why is it me dipping into my personal finances?” He hissed, the human world let her use his real name to ‘maintain cover’ but even when alone she would use it. A little poke, a little prod at his ego. He folded his arms over his chest and looked at the single lounge chair. He flopped into it and his eyes narrowed. This was….not comfortable, this was like resting against a solid slab of plastic covered rock. There was no give, no softness, no plush feeling...had they painted a rock.
“Is it bad?”
“I think I’m doing you a favour,” Toshiro said nodding at the bed. Matsumoto leaned on the bed and made a low sound, Toshiro had to turn and look away as he noticed her long legs just dangle over the end of the bed.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Rangiku hissed, blue eyes locked onto her captain’s teal gaze. “Please captain. Please.” She clasped her hands and bowed her head. “Save us, your salary must be enough to get us a more expensive suite.”
“Matsumoto, even I admit had I known it would be so bad I’d have dipped into my coffers.” He didn’t ever consider the amount he was paid, it wasn’t a small sum but spending money never seemed very important to him. “Still this was a rush call out. Sightings of strange distortions in the air around the city, we couldn’t afford to wait. I didn’t have time to convert more funds to human currency.”
The exchange was always a little dicey. It required secrecy and a steady hand. You couldn’t simply show up in the human world with a fortune, that fortune had to come from somewhere. There were...steps to the process that Toshiro hadn’t really considered. Lots of steps involving shady individuals and practitioners of the dark right of investment banking. Various Shinigami had set up dummy accounts in the human world and thrown cash into it down the ages.
Investing was easy when you could live for a thousand years. Any idiot could be a millionaire. In fact a huge idiot did become a millionaire. The original patriarch of the Omaeda clan made it his business to be both absolutely indispensable but never once a necessary part of a functioning group.As such it was the Omaeda clan that had a number of agents ready to visit the human world and transfer money to and from any account that might be needed in the mortal world.
Unfortunately this being a rush job the leading duo of the 10th had to run off while the ink was still wet on the letter to the second division's second seat. No doubt he would be able to fulfill the request to transfer them funds but...it had not yet happened. It was easy to be annoyed with him, given their situation but Toshiro supposed he’d never had to manage sending money between divisions, funneling it into family accounts and then...god how did he transfer it to the human world?
That was the Omaeda family’s secret, nobody bothered to invest in a different method. Given a few days it always worked out but they did not have a few days and so...the worst hotel in Karuka town they could afford was theirs.
“I could scream.” Rangiku mumbled as she tried to fluff the pillow and crushed it like an accordion. “This is just inhuman, I’m going to shred whatever comes out of that portal tonight. I hope we stay up all night….and fight all night...and don’t have to sleep in this awful room.” She whined and fussed, rolling around on her back atop the awful bed. Toshiro didn’t say much but he nodded in agreement with her tantrum.
Orihime’s ROOF was more comfortable than this chair. He couldn’t even lean back in it, without hearing something crunch in the backrest. This room was the worst. This was a new level of punishment.
“Ichigo’s closet might still be available.” Toshiro said to Rangiku. “One of us could have a decent night’s sleep.” Toshiro recalled Rukia’s complaints of cramped spaces, lumpy sheets and of course the whole place smelling like Ichigo….was that better or worse than...whatever air freshener this room had been recently bludgeoned with?
“If it was tight for Rukia,” Rangiku shakes her head while looking down at herself, “it’ll be like one of those boxes they put the Egyptian fellas in.” Rangiku said while shuddering. “You could do it though, Toshiro!” She suggested and Toshiro grimaced, shaking his head. It might be more comfortable...but his damn pride absolutely refused the notion.
“No.” Toshiro rattled. “No I can’t.” He drummed his fingers on the chair. “It almost..feels cruel to leave the Gigai here.” Toshiro muttered and Rangiku spluttered.
“I didn’t want to say it out loud.” She snickered. “If we leave them here they’ll be so mad they won’t take us back later.” She laughed. “We’d find them stood in the corner with picket signs, demanding fairer treatment.”
“Oh we’d deserve that.” Toshiro muttered. It was a rare moment that both the prideful captain and the wild second seat were in total and utter agreement about how just...awful this was going to be. “Let us hope for an army of Arrancar, a swarm of Menos Grande and….Oh I don’t know one of those big awful fish things.”
“God, I’d kill for the big awful fish things.” Rangiku said, flopping back onto the bed, her head sank into the pillow which folded entirely around her head. Toshiro watched her sit up, the pillow still held there without her having to do anything. She looked at him, her expression devoid of life and hope and any semblance of wonder.
“...That’s what it’s like getting hugged by you.” Toshiro said. She leapt across the room a moment later. “MATSUMOTO!”
“How dare you liken my affection to that!” Rangiku was doing her best to find fury but had simply found smirking hilarity. Pinning the smaller captain to the ground, forcing his hands over his head, and then grabbing him by his wrists with one hand. “All the love and care II show you and that’s what you’re going to say! I’m hurt.”
“Your love crushes like a wrecking ball, Matsumoto!” Toshiro hissed trying to get free but he’d been in this position before. Upsettingly it was a common Matsumoto argument winning tactic and had been...for the entirety of their relationship. If she wanted to absolutely win an argument, force him to concede the best thing for her to do was throw her weight around. Well on top of him.
His legs tried to kick uselessly as she settled herself on top of him, with one hand she held his arms over his head, smirking down at him, resting her weight on his chest. “Cruel! Awful! My captain is such a brute.”
“I’m the one trapped here.” Toshiro snapped back, his eyebrow arched. He tensed when she leaned down closer to him, her body covering his almost entirely. His legs vanished under her own as they tangled, her hips crushed against him as she rested her head on his chest.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Toshiro asked her as she sighed.
“You’re actually comfier than the bed.” She told him and he swallowed. This wasn’t uncomfortable physically just...uncomfortable. She wasn’t too heavy but when she wasn’t trying to force the air out of him he found it very slightly harder to breathe. When she wasn’t trying to pin him struggling felt all the more useless. She looked up at him, the point of her chin resting on his chest, a smirk spread across her face. “Toshiro, can I sleep on you tonight?”
“Matsumoto, that might be the least appropriate thing you have ever said to me.” Toshiro replied, looking down his nose at her, a rather unique vantage point he confessed. “No you can’t sleep on me.”
“I’ll play you for it.” She moved and dragged him with her, rolling over onto her back and now he lay on top of her. She still held fast to his wrists, moving his hands behind her head and leaning back on his interlocked fingers. Shifting beneath him and forcing him to tilt this way and that as she rocked. “If you win you can sleep on me.” She teased just so. His head rested somewhere that honestly he shouldn’t be comfortable with letting it rest. But compared to that chair...this was a slice of heaven.
“We’re not having this discussion,” Toshiro told her, “get off my hands.” He ordered but his voice hitched as he made the command. She just rocked slowly under him and he tried to keep a serious face as she did so. He was well practiced but so was she. It’s a moment before he tugs a hair at the back of her head and she yelped, spilling him to the floor.
“That was mean, Toshiro.” She told him as she ran a hand over her scalp. A big puffy pout on her face, tears nipping at the corner of one eye. He just got to his feet. “It’s really mean to be a sore loser before we even play.”
“We’re not playing. We’re here to work.” He corrected, glad to be free of...whatever all that was. Rangiku’s mouth turned up at the edges.
“It’s okay to be scared, captain.” Rangiku said and she was playing with him, on her feet and following behind him. “I’m very adept at handling hollows. You, very powerful, but you’re often saved for much worse things. I think it’s good to know your limitations.” She needles and he doesn’t let it bother him. Sure...the temperature drops a few notches but that could be a freak coincidence.
“Ha,” was Toshiro’s chief response, “I’m not falling for that and you’re not sleeping on me Matsumoto. Be proud you have the bed and I am sleeping on what is clearly a rock someone carved into a seat.”
“But Toshiro if you win you could sleep on me,” she reminded him, leaning down to rest her hands on his shoulders, a gentle squeeze. “I’m much, much, much comfier than a rock.” She pressed herself against his back, warmth started to slide around in the captain’s chest. “Can’t you imagine just leaning back,” she tugged him back against her, “settled and safe and comfortable?”
“Then you roll over.” He groaned before shrugging free of her grip. “We’re not sleeping ON each other woman. There’s no contest.”
“No of course not,” a prod, “I’d win easily.” A shove in the right direction. “Because you’re so very out of practice.” This was the argumentative equivalent of drop kicking the other side off a cliff into a torrent of raging water below. Toshiro is a captain and so such things do not work on him. Is what he’d love to say.
“Fine! We shall have a contest but the only reward is bragging rights.” Toshiro growled over his shoulder at his second, who only covered her mouth with one hand to hide a gasp. “I will prove to you who is the superior here.”
“Oh yes, sir.” Rangiku clapped her hands. “I love it when you flaunt your power, it’s so easy to forget which of us is boss without the big white coat.” She teased him further and he just let his teeth grind.
“We’ll see which of us has to eat crow later. Whoever slays the most hollows wins this pointless little thing you need us to have.” Toshiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Honestly Matsumoto, you’re like a child sometimes.”
“Oh nothing wrong with knowing how to have fun. Besides...if we’re lucky maybe we can spend ALL NIGHT fighting side by side and not have to come back here.” Matsumot let her eyes linger on the bed and the chair. “Gods that would be a treat.”
“Legitimately I agree with you.”
The contest was fierce, mad, fev- Oh I’m kidding nothing happened. Hours of loitering, wandering, moving around the city and there was nothing. The air didn’t tremor, the skies were uncracked and the fabric of reality didn’t so much as ruffle on that night. The pair wandered, desperate and looking to one another. One more lap, maybe check across town, maybe we do this or try that. Anything...ANYTHING but that room. But alas...as the hours whiled on feet began to ache it was inevitable that they found themselves back there.
“Captain….” Rangiku was facing the wall and leaning on her arm. She’d abandoned the pillow long ago when it kept rising and falling like bread dough with her movements. She wasn’t looking at her captain, who was crushed up on the plastic wrapped couch. “Can’t you take the plastic off?”
“It’s...sewn into the chair.” Toshiro replied. “The floor is worse.” He tried laying on the floor but found there was a distressing feeling of crumbs and...more down there. “I’m sorry Matsumoto.”
He tried again to get comfortable and again the seat groaned an artificial little squeak. Rangiku took a deep breath in and then sat up. “No.” She snapped. “No we’re going to have to do this or I’m going to stab you.”
“You can’t say that out loud to your captain, Matsumoto.” Toshiro grumbled. He was pulled up, yelping in shock as his second dragged him out of the plastic wrapped nightmare. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sharing.” Rangiku told him, her eyes tired and tone told him there was to be no argument. She was sore and he was sore and there was going to be some damn rest in this room tonight. He wasn’t sure what that meant until he was dropped onto the bed, a firm rough landing.
“Matsu-” she lay down next to him, wriggling under the covers and then laying back down on her arm. He felt the wall against his back and swallowed. “This...is umm-”
“Not comfortable, yes.” Rangiku said. “But if I heard that seat groan one more time I would have gone mad.” She exhaled adjusting. “It’s not the most comfortable but it’s fine.” She told him. “We can sleep back to back if you’d rather?”
“I...whatever makes you comfortable.” Toshiro said, turning around to stare at the wall. It was a...well it was a wall. It was a much better thing to observe than the other direction. The other direction was...not really the best place to put his attention. He was sure there was…. A rule about this. There were a lot of rules about a lot of things that were and were not appropriate. He was sure there was….a rule about this sort of thing.
Nothing bad would happen. No. He trusted her, she trusted him...they were fully clothed. This was just a matter of unfortunate circumstances. Everything was fine, he could breathe and sure the bed felt like resting on the worst and least comfortable surface in the world but at least it didn’t...squeak.
He adjusted slightly, trying to...uncompact himself. He’d all but brought his legs up to his chest. He expanded into unknown territory, his feet moving slowly. He didn’t want to...knock knees or anything like that. The bed was slightly too small for Rangiku but it fit him just fine, it’d almost be fine were it not for...everything else being awful.
He felt the bed shift, an arm slung around him. He tensed at once as he felt Rangiku draw him against her. “Mat-”
“It’ll happen sooner or later,” she mumbled into the top of his head, “if you’re here I’ll get a grip on you. I wanted to do it while I was awake so you were okay with it.” She raised her arm away from his stomach. “You- are oka--”
“Yes!” He answered quickly. “It’s fine...I trust you, Matsumoto.” He said and she smirked, he could feel it in the way she laughed in response. Her grip on him redoubled in a moment.
“Oh good to know you trust me,” she drawled out, “the trust of my dependable captain is so hard to get. He trusts me to lay down beside him.”
“I’ve seen you lay down for years now,” Toshiro replied, “I can think of few people better at it off the top of my head.” He went on feeling her laugh shake his back, they were...very close. It was fine, her hands moved slowly to fasten against him. A simple little squeeze, her legs pressed into his own. He felt her toes tickle at his ankles.
“Socks?” She asked him with a laugh. “Do you get cold feet, Toshiro?” As if in reply he held up his hand and reached back. His hand landed on her side. He was going for her side but his hand landed somewhere else, firm but soft and yielding. She hissed and wriggled her legs. “OOOOhhh no that’s not good!”
“Feet are colder than my hands.” Toshiro said...holding his hands tight to his chest. Warmth in the centre of his hand. “Matsumoto...wh..where did I just grab?”
“My thigh.” She told him and he curled into himself. “Ooh it’s fine, it’s fine.” She told him, rocking him in her arms. “I trust you, captain. That was just a little accident. I knew you weren’t making a move.” He didn’t say anything just lay there feeling mortified, absolutely disappointed in himself. “No more squeaking,” she told him and then it was just the quiet sound of her breathing.
Toshiro closed his eyes, hands clenched together in front of himself. He didn't want to...grab or roll in his sleep. He wasn’t a restless sleeper, he...thought. He’d never considered it before. He usually went to sleep facing one direction and woke up facing that same direction. He just didn’t want to grab her again...he had no idea what she wore to bed. He had opted for lighter clothes but hadn’t looked at her, giving her the privacy she deserved.
His palm still felt warm, so did his neck. That was very stupid of him, that was certainly a rule breaking moment. She’d told him she trusted him though...but he knew that. They both knew that. They argued, groused, snapped, wrestled with one another but they’d been together for so long. He knew Matsumoto almost as well as he knew himself. He trusted her and she trusted him.
Partners.
He’d only ever gotten to this position in life thanks to her insistence. He’d done his best to repay that in kind over the years. She’d done her best at all times. Well except for the naps...and the ditching...but given the example she had to follow it wasn’t too surprising. She didn’t do it as much as Shiba did….bless her for that.
She stirred a little in her sleep, her hand moving across his chest. He didn’t let it bother him, just adjusting to his presence was all. Her breathing had gotten slower...she hadn’t already had she? He tried to look back at her snoozing. Soft gentle breathing. Lucky for some. He groaned and let his eyes close. Just...remember she trusts you and you trust her and that’s fine. They were at the very least good friends.
Best friends.
Best friends could sleep beside one another, it wasn’t an issue. He found it easy to relax once he did that little bit of addition in his head. Clearly this isn't a captain and lieutenant sort of thing. Just; a two friends kind of thing, there were no rules against what two friends could do together in a bed. Nobody could order two friends not to share each other’s company or warmth, not at all.
While in the human world that’s what they were. Undercovers.
UNDERCOVER.
As normal humans, they were best friends. That was fine, that was fine, he’s thinking about it too much. He feels her stir again, resting her nose against the top of his head. That wasn’t fair...that wasn’t fair at all. He didn’t say anything but he just felt her draw him closer to her again. Tighter against her. Her other arm slid out from under her head to wrap around the two of them. Across his shoulders and then coming to rest on her own arm. He was….well and truly locked in now.
He felt her legs next. Pressing, pushing against his until his legs were forced apart by one of her own. Oh what the hell woman? Did you have ants in your...not...pants? A game of footsies was so off the table he didn't even think they had a regulation about it. Her leg rubbed against the length of his own and he just kept his eyes closed. Sleep was coming, it was for sure right there on the horizon. It was going to swoop in and save him from this...very warm situation he found himself tangled up in.
He would just pass out lik-
-at.
Toshiro wasn’t sure...what time it was. He was just looking dead ahead at the wall. The noise of the city had hammered through the walls, this place was really blessed with that third star… He let his eyes close again, the light on the wall had moved a great deal. He’d fallen back asleep. He felt arms slide slowly up his side, Rangiku hadn’t woken up? Or was she watching him sleep?
“Morning,” she mumbled, “ are you...awake?”
“Hm.” He managed to reply. “I’m feeling a lot less sore than I expected.”
“I think my arm is asleep.” Rangiku told him and he tried to move, she ran her hand up the length of one of his own arms. “Oh it’s fine, don’t move so much,” she said gently, “I’m really comfy right now.”
Her whole body was warm with sleep, he could feel it through his nightshirt. He was actively resisting the slow drag back to blissful sleep. His eyes closed and each time they did he actively had to fight to get them back open. It was just because of how tired he was after hours of marching all over the city, that’s all. That’s all it was.
“I sort of don’t want to move.” Rangiku said again. That level of comfort that came after just waking up, when sleep lingered and begged you to give yourself five more minutes. Cajoled you just to close your eyes, it won’t take much more time. You’ve really earned this and it’s not like you have to get up at the current time. Today will still be here when you roll over later. Just take a little more time, just a bit more time.
Rangiku tried to move her legs but that just resulted in the figure beside her squirming some. She realized quite how close they were when she felt him twitch in response to her. She’d very clearly taken the lion’s share of the single bed and her captain was forced to work with it in their sleep. She had curled around the smaller sleeper. Both arms fastened around him, long legs utterly tangled up in his short ones. She’d tried to keep her feet in the bed all night and it had resulted in a….well a little knot under the covers. She had to smile at that, trying to picture her captain’s face right now. He must be ready to pop, yell at her to move and get out and...her hand rests on his chest where she feels a steady rise and fall.
“Ooh.” She smirked. “Which one of us is stuck again?” She has no idea why she’s asking him, he’s fast asleep again. How...asleep? She moved her arm from his chest and softly began to ruffle through his hair, nails pressing against his scalp. He followed her little touches lazily, head drifting toward her touch. All hers really.
That was a fun little notion. She buried her face in his hair again, a soft featherlight kiss on the top of his head. Five more minutes. Five more minutes. He was stuck until she moved anyway.
---
He was stuck until she moved. Rangiku Matsumoto loved that part. He was stuck until she moved, it was a genuine piece of mouldable time. A fraction of time that belonged to her and she could do with as she pleased. He trusted her and this might have been a very slight abuse of that trust. But not in a way that would ever harm him or her. Not in a way that if he ever voiced a want to leave she wouldn’t let him.
But it was still her time and she could have him for a moment longer or for as long as she wanted. She wanted a while right now, she wants a cozy eternity with him in her arms and right now she’s got it. His eyes closed and his body facing away from her. He was always turned away from her when they did this, terrified of his touch. His hands were cold but at times she wonders if he thinks his hands are made of poison.
Rangiku had long ago become a master of a technique Isshin had perfected as part of his “Early Morning Escape Routine.” A mental switch in the back of the brain that always flicked on just ahead of an alarm allowing you to turn it off and enjoy your time. Captain Shiba liked naps; long naps, short naps and he could sleep anywhere. It was a miracle the places she’d found that dark haired man curled up. Next to barrels, under awnings, in the little narrows of closets….anywhere but his damn desk.
This little technique to wake up early seemed therefore nightmarish. But Rangiku long ago learned the trick to it. His alarm clock was one from the living world, a small digital box of plastic. It had….a small switch on the top. That you change the alarm to an even LATER alarm.
The double alarm trick meant getting to spend much longer in bed with the slumbering captain beside her. It had started out as something that they both needed and it had become something hard to do without.
So she reached back, feeling him stir at the loss of one arm around him. He wasn’t a light sleeper but he got so very used to everything being in just the right place that he would react the moment it was out of sorts. She let out a slow, quiet murmur to let him know he had to be patient. She was making sure this would last longer for the both of them.
Her thumb twitched the alarm switch over, what was to be seven thirty A.M. became Ten twenty A.M. and then she returns her arm to his chest. Slow circles and he leans back into her, melting against her. Her cozy eternity with her captain. Well...a cozy three hours more. That was almost like an eternity if you used it right.
---
The second time. The second time was an unhappy accident.
“How?” Toshiro rasped as he dragged his second seat down the street. “How do you possibly drink so much that your entire skeleton goes missing, woman?” Did she forget the immense difference in their stature? He pretended it wasn’t there but he at the very least was aware of it, on some level. It’s hard not to when she’s so….TALL at him all the time, inconsiderately so.
“Mebbe someone took it!” Rangiku slurred, head lulling back, chased by her spine and then almost the rest of her were it not for the cold palm shoving her forward. So far forward she all but tilted and dragged him down with her. The pair tumbled to the floor, her dragging him down. A squeak as she landed on something soft.
“Matsumoto…” Toshiro grumbled beneath her, a mad dive had probably skinned his knee but it was better than her smashing her nose on the ground. “You have...to actually help me here.” He said gently, trying to apply reason to the lush.
“What are we doin?” Rangiku asked him, her chin resting on the back of his head. “I’ve got ya back.” She said her fingers rubbing at his shoulders. “Gowan get em.”
“We’re...trying to get you home.” Toshiro told her feeling her fingers work at the top of his back. “You’re….quite drunk.”
“Only quite? I can do better.”
“Spectacularly wasted.” Toshiro amended and Rangiku grumbled, her throat rumbling across the top of his skull.
“Wow I did really good. I went from quite to spectacularly….we should celebrate I know a place” Rangiku said and Toshiro hissed doing a quick push up but it didn’t dislodge her from his back. She’d stuck on now, bending around him and chuckling. “Oooh! Can you do a pushup with me on your back, captain!? That’s so impressive! Do another!” She chuckled pushing down on him.
“Matsu-” He groaned as her chest crushed into his back forcing him back down. “Mmmmmmmmmmm.” He thumped his fist into the ground. Why was the woman a nightmare, why did he always come to get her? Why!? He forced his way up, shrugging his shoulders as the near liquid Rangiku Matsumoto cooed and rooted for him to keep going. It wasn’t quite a full push up but it was enough for her to throw her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled the spot between his shoulder and neck. His whole spine turned to granite as her skin made contact with his own.
“You did it.” She told him her, breath sliding across his neck. A shudder ran through him, he tried to think of other things. He tried to think of how much she had to drink to get like this, was it a lethal amount, could anyone else get this drunk!? He let the thought train roll on to many stops, let on and off everyone he could to keep his mind off how close she was and how warm she was and how...as time was going on it was getting more difficult to shrug her off.
He trusted her, absolutely and without any doubt. But he had to admit it was very...hard to be her friend and endure...the feelings she seemed to be able to turn on and off. It grew much harder as the years went on. Biology was cruel and with each year he didn’t get taller, his voice got a little scratchier and he couldn’t help but notice her more and more and more until hs ibrain opened an entire wing dedicated to her.
“Come on,” Toshiro crawled his way back up to his feet, Rangiku hanging from his shoulders all the way. “We are...so close to getting you to bed.” He rasped managing to trudge on. Rangiku leaned against him and made a small noise, a very slight sound he didn’t really pick up on at first. Both her arms fastened around his shoulders and he just soldiered on. She was at least not falling anymore. He still bobbed when her knees knocked against his legs. Her home was in sight and so it was alright.
“Keys,” he said and Rangiku pressed the keys into his hands, “thank you, Matusmo-” Her name died as she kissed his neck. Then her lips kept moving, feverish all of a sudden a spark of life. A quick line of kisses up to his ear where she lingered. Breath warm, teeth teasing an ear lobe as she leaned on him. Overpowering him for just a moment and forcing him against her door. She fumbled for his coat, moving it, opening it wide, trying to pull it off as she moved to his jaw.
He heard her moan and he was dragged out of what was happening, sure as a slap in the face. “Matsumoto.” He said quickly, “Matsumoto!” He said again, lips moved to his face, the corner of his mouth nipped as she pressed herself against him tight. He was stuck between her and the door.
“Rangiku.” He wheezed after grabbing onto her shoulders, trying to put room between them but all he did was slam himself against her door. Sticking her with her own keys and she froze, looking at the keys and then following the length of his arm to look at him. He had no idea what his face looked like but she was shocked, a hand flew to her mouth and she stepped back, falling onto her rear.
“Oh no, oh no, oh god.” She looks at him pressed against the door and the moment drags itself out. “I’m...Captain I,” she can’t look at him, “it’s-”
“It’s fine.” Toshiro said at last. “We both...drank a ...it’s fine.” He says it again, if he said it enough it might end up being something he believed. It was important she believed it. “It’s fine,” he said again as he approached her slowly. She stood by herself, trying to keep space between the two of them. “Matsumoto it’s fine, I mean it.”
“You just,” Rangiku pointed at him, “you just stay a little further away, captain. Captain Hitsugaya.” She said sounding like she was the one trying to issue orders here. He did as he was asked, stepping backward to unlock her door and then clear out of her way. Rangiku walked the short distance between her open door and the floor as if the entire thing was filled with snakes. Long, slow strides keeping her captain in her gaze. “Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Rangiku said, “coming to get me captain. Thank you very much.”
He nodded in her direction, watching the woman cling to her door frame, a lifeboat in the sea of wobbling concrete. She managed to get inside and he watched, waited, and wanted the door to close. Then he heard something hit the ground. He breathed in through his nose and moved forward. She was laying on her back like a turtle, eyes watering as she stared up at the ceiling. One shoe off and the other one...not off.
“Matsumoto. I’m going to help you.”
“No don’t.” She winced. “I’ll do something stupid again.”
“It wasn’t stupid it…” He wouldn’t call it stupid but he didn’t know what he’d call that. They were partners, friends and...while she was a very attractive woman. That’s what they were, they were friends and that was just a slip, leaning a little too far to one side. Inhibitions scrubbed out thanks to a lot of drink and that was all. That was all.
If he said that enough he wondered if he’d believe it. He had a feeling those few seconds would cling tight to him for a while, the movements, the actions, the feelings and...the lingering taste at the very edge of his mouth.
“It was stupid. I’m stupid.” Rangiku went on as Toshiro helped her to sit up, she pushed out with her arms to keep him back. “Don’t, I’ll do it again.”
“You won’t.” He told her, grabbing her wrist and slowly helping her up. “It was an accident. I trust you, Matsumoto.” He meant that, he did. When she was standing he moved to keep her up and her arms raised as if to hold him but they just stayed wide. Her face totally confused, her eyes damp with tears that he hoped were from the fall. He didn’t like seeing her like this, too much drink and she sometimes got lost inside herself. Not sure which way was up, what time of night it was or….when she was or even who was. He had no idea if that affection was for him or some imaginary bar patron who walked her home.
“It’s okay,” he said, moving to keep her steady, a hand placed softly on her side. She looked down at him as he slung her arm around him, her expression slightly hurt, slightly blurry. He wasn’t sure what that face was.
Rangiku didn’t want him to carry her to bed, she didn’t want him to help her across the room, she didn’t want him to do anything because he had those big awful eyes he had. Those big awful teal eyes that everyone saw as narrow and hard and disinterested. She got to see them over the years, she still remembers when they were wide and full of wonder. How the years closed the shut through hard work, betrayal and the wonders of nine to five across several centuries of life.
But sometimes the wide eyes peeked back out, big and full of life. It was only when something very wonderful happened or something very sad. Rangiku was sauced but she knew for a fact she was the latter. Barely able to stand, stuttering her words and trying to...oh god.
She would have too. If it was anybody else they might have let her. But no it was Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya, the first man in….ever? Maybe ever to respond to her kiss with horror and shock. She had hurt him, hadn’t she? Teasing was one thing, a little prod or poke to make sure the human parts of him hadn’t been replaced in the night by the world’s smallest paperwork annihilator. But that wasn’t teasing, that was just a bit of hunger.
She had something nice beside her, someone warm helping her and so the big awful thing that she was she had to have it. Now after that, after nearly screaming after she...oh god she did bite him, she could see the start of a bruise on his neck, redness on his ears...oh god she bit him more than once. She actually took a bite out of the boy. He was helping to get her shoe off and make her comfortable. Sat on her bed she was made to look at him, vision going from watery to distressingly focused.
“Matsumoto,” he said again, “are you okay to sleep like this, do I need to get you anything?” He asked and she shook her head, sat on the edge of her bed. “I’m going to go now.” He said slowly. “I’ve put a drink by your bed and some of those...hangover pills beside it.” He went on as he stood up. “You should be alright but if I don’t see you until a bit later I’ll understand.”
He moved for the door and he was almost there, he had his hand on the door when he heard her ask him.
“Stay?” She breathed and he froze. “It was...I didn’t mean it.” She told him. “I need to know you trust me.”
He did. He did. He did. He felt his hand go tight on the door. “Matsumoto it’s-”
“You trust me, right?” She sounded desperate. “I won’t do anything to you. I promise just...lay down next to me, it’s...it’s so cold tonight.” She said again and he turned back to look at her. She had scooted across the bed to leave a big open space there. She pulled back the covers and looked at him expectantly. Oh what was this? What fresh new horror was this?
“I...I do trust you,” Toshiro told her, “it’s just we’ve bot-
“No I’ve had a lot to drink.” She told him. “I made a mistake and I want to prove that’s all it was.” She said and he felt something twist inside him. Did it hurt to hear that she thought that it was a mistake...or did it hurt to see her in this state. So sure she’d hurt him and had to prove that was good enough, a thing so stupid he couldn’t imagine her needing to prove that at all.
“Matsumoto.” He said again softly and she just looked at him. Sliding under the covers and turning her back to him. He stood there, a tremble ran the length of his body. From his feet desperate to run to the arm on the door begging him to close the damn thing. He was going to the 12th and demanding they scalpel out every single hormone he had, that was the first thing he was going to do.
He saw her tremble. It wasn’t cold. He saw her shaking and heard the smothered sound of a sob.
The door closed and Rangiku didn’t turn around, she didn’t look back, she didn’t move. She just lay there, feeling sorry for herself, angry at herself and disappointed and then the bed shifted. She felt something press against her back, someone smaller. She didn’t turn around. As much as she wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him tight.
“I trust you.” Toshiro said again.
“Thank you.”
They didn’t move that night. Sleep came slowly to Toshiro. He wasn't sure why it was so much harder to find sleep then. Maybe he wanted to stay up and make sure she fell asleep, that there was no emergency that needed mending, no late night sprints to be ill. No knocking over the water. Or maybe he was stuck thinking if it was a mistake at all. Maybe he was stuck thinking that this was the second time in recent memory he shared a bed with his second in command.
The fact that the first time had given him a wonderful night’s sleep was a fluke, he was sure. His nights were often filled with wake ups, false alarm moments, something buzzing in the room that he heard above the silence. With her in the last comfortable bed they could find he slept soundly. He slept through an alarm apparently.
He felt her reach back, her hand grabbing at his side. He took her hand and squeezed it. He was still here...he was still here. No need to check, no need to fret. He was still here.
“Your hands are so cold, Toshiro.” She said with a little laugh.
“I know.” He replied.
---
The morning came on the….the count had long been lost. They’d done this more and more often. It was monthly at first. Then it was bi weekly. Then weekly and now it was nearly every other night.
It was usually her bed. It was bigger, it was much comfier she had to admit and her home was more...homey. One of them would make dinner and then they would go to bed together. They’d been doing it so long the idea of not doing it felt...wrong almost.
Toshiro could tell. “You set the wrong alarm again didn’t you?” He asked and Matsumoto made a low sound, pretending poorly to be just rising from a slumber.
“What?” She asks looking at the back of his head. “I have no idea, the alarm hasn’t even gone off yet Toshiro.” She reminds him. She nuzzles the back of his head, her arms sliding around his waist and pinning him against herself. “Maybe you should try and get another few minutes, eh?”
“Matsumoto...what time is it?”
“I’ve no idea.”
He held up a hand. “NOT THE COLD HANDS TOSHIRO! NOT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!” She cries out as he reaches back and feels around for her. She hisses and cackles as she dodges his attempts at getting her to release him.
Rangiku had moved furniture over the time this arrangement persisted. The bed was now pinned against the wall and she always, always, insisted as a captain he should be the first in the bed. This meant to ever, ever, escape without having to step over the woman or...wriggle out the bottom of the bed- a thing done three times and never forgotten by her or forgiven by him.
Rangiku had demonstrated once she could, if she wanted, literally lay there all day. He did not want a repeat performance. It was very hard to grab her without turning around. That wasn’t...so much a rule as much as just something he didn’t do often. He’d woke up facing Rangiku a dozen times. He’d woke up tangled with her more than he’d ever admit, he’d awoke so close to her that he wonders how in the world they hadn’t swapped places in their sleep.
He did his best to turn around. To keep his cold hands and cold feet to himself because it was polite and because he had come to the conclusion during all the times they’d done this. The minute he did. The moment he put his arms around her and closed his eyes. If he held her like she held him...it’d be done. That little wing dedicated to Rangiku Matsumoto in his mind had expanded to a full blown museum and at times...he was sure there was nothing else inside his head.
She lived there now. Full time, he heard her breathing, he had memorized her scent and he found that a lot of his clothes...smelled of her now. He had no escape from her and he really….really wasn’t sure why he was trying to get away. Except for the fact he remembered the second time they shared a bed….and how hurt she looked when she kissed him.
He remembers it freshly, it’s a fresco in his mind. He doesn’t want to see her make that face again. He trusts her completely, emphatically and totally. He’s the little bastard with roaming hands he can no longer trust. So he does his best not to look at her, to avert his gaze when possible because he knows...sooner or later he’s going to see her beside him in bed and he’s going to do something so fucking stupid.
“AHHH!” Rangiku shoved her feet against his back. “COLD! YOUR HANDS ARE SO COLD!” She said, forcing him against the wall. “AHH I’m getting up! I’m getting up!” She said slinking out of bed, kicking at his back as she went. “What a horrible thing to do to someone who works SO HARD keep you warm and well rested, Toshiro.”
“You just dislocated my spine woman!” Toshiro cried out. “Your feet are icicles!”
“THEY HAVE TO BE NEXT TO YOURS ALL NIGHT.” Rangiku calls out as she makes her way into the bathroom. The door lock clicks and he turns around. His eyebrows knit at the clock on the side. 10:22. Damn. Woman.
He realizes then...that he’s laying on her pillow, his eyes move to the door and he leans into it. A slow, long inhalation. He’s never understood how...perfume smells. Kyoraku mentions things like tones and “implications” from scents and that’s about the stupidest thing he’s ever heard in his life.
Ukitake mentions from time to time an old pastime he so dearly loved. Kodo, a thing that COULD only exist among the nobles. A game in which individuals would ‘hear’ scents. A game was played in which individuals of note would sample the scents of incenses and fragrances that were associated with stories and they would guess which of them had the right scent. To Toshiro- while much more interesting than Koryaku’s bizarre attempts to sniff women- it sounded like strange old men smelling wood and having a fight about what it smelled like.
The idea of a scent telling a story or having enough depth to...put images in your mind. It was laughable...Then he had been lost in that pillow for a moment or two. He closed his eyes and he could see her lying there beside him, that awful teasing grin on her face. A come hither gesture and so he would.
His eyes open instantly. “Oh I’m...screwed.” Toshiro said, telling himself something that...really should be obvious after all this time.