Chapter Text
By that evening, the school was getting back to normal and Harry was packed to return to London. He was strangely reluctant to leave, and not just because of his feelings for Snape. Looking around his rooms a final time, he shrank his trunk to a manageable size and went down to the entrance hall where staff members were waiting to bid him good-bye.
"Well, that's done, then," Harry said, setting his trunk down. "Prankster aside, it's been wonderful seeing all of you again. Let's just make it for happier reasons next time, yeah?"
"Cheeky," McGonagall admonished, then stepped forward to give him a brisk hug. "I will expect to see you here frequently," she said with a sideways glance at Snape.
"I'll try," Harry replied, deliberately not looking at Snape to see how he took that statement.
Lupin was next. "Thank you for all your help with my classes," he said, then stepped forward to embrace Harry. "Your parents would be so proud of you," he murmured into Harry's ear.
Harry's throat tightened at that but he managed a nod. The rest of the teachers shook his hand and expressed good wishes for the future, and then he was facing Snape. And he knew what he wanted to say to the man, but not here, not in front of the rest of the staff.
Snape seemed to feel the same thing. "I will walk you to the Apparation point, Mr Potter."
Harry nodded and picked up his trunk, following Snape out of the castle.
"You did a splendid job, Harry," Snape said as they turned onto the road to Hogsmeade.
Harry shrugged. "I wish we could have had a better ending."
"Given the circumstances, it was perhaps the best we could have attained. Miss Bell will have all the care she needs, and with time she may recover. And Poppy will recover fully, after a little rest holiday. Which," he said, thinking, "I don't think she has ever taken."
"I can't tell you how disappointed I am that Zabini didn't turn out to be the Poison Pen," Harry said jokingly. "I still think he's a berk."
"Think of him as another in a long line of disagreeable Potions Masters," Snape said, a glint of humour in his eyes, and Harry laughed.
They walked slowly towards the gate, comfortably silent in a way they hadn't been the last time they'd walked this way from the other direction. Remembering that, Harry paused and looked up at the Astronomy Tower, now reassuringly empty. Looking at the tower reminded him of the previous time he'd stood on it, and the events that had put Snape in prison.
"Severus, I want to apologize for the last five years."
Snape turned to look at him. "Shouldn't it be the other way around? I...was not kind, particularly during that first year."
"And why should you have been? You'd been through a ghastly ordeal, in fear for your life, not a friend in the world. And when I should have been thinking about you, I chose instead to push myself at you and demand that you love me, like a selfish, spoiled child."
"Harry, don't."
"All I can do is try to explain where my head was back then." Harry was quiet for a moment as they continued walking toward the gates. "It was a horrible year, terribly lonely even with Ron and Hermione along - or maybe more so, as they were obviously in love. And then I found you, the real you, beyond all hope and expectation, and I was so afraid of losing you that I just babbled out everything and made a mess of it, Merlin help me, thinking all I had to do was ask and I would get it. You. Bloody self-important - as if the name of Potter wasn't the most abhorrent to you..." He trailed off and gave Snape a sheepish look. "Um, say something?"
"Very well, Harry." Snape thought for a moment. "Yes, you were a prat." Harry was startled into a laugh. "However, you appear to have improved over the past five years. You are very nearly acceptable company for moderate periods of time. It is possible that you will continue to improve."
"Thanks - I think." They walked on for a little bit, Harry eyeing Snape sideways for a moment before he said, "So, any plans for the holiday?"
Snape shrugged. "Try to find new Infirmary staff? Clear the correspondence from my desk? I would say 'enjoy the bliss of no brats about the place' but there are the refugees and orphans."
"You could ask Minerva to do those things and come away with me for a few days," Harry suggested. "Sun, sea, silly drinks with umbrellas - or, if you prefer, dank and mouldy dungeon tours?"
Snape was quiet for a long moment, and Harry thought he had his answer. He was about to say good-night and leave when Snape spoke again. "Harry, if I say 'no', would you be devastated?"
"Devastated? No. Disappointed, yes." Harry dredged up a smile. "After all, I can always try again on your birthday."
"And if I said 'yes'?"
"I'd be delighted, of course, and book the next Portkey - " Harry had continued walking for a few steps before he realized that Snape had stopped. He turned, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest, and took a few hesitant steps back toward Snape. "Severus? Are you - are you saying yes?"
Snape hesitated, staring down into Harry's face, trying to find the words that would carry him the next step forward, into a future that he was just starting to realize he truly wanted.
It was Harry who found the words for him. Taking Snape’s hands, he placed them on either side of his own face and willingly opened his mind so that Snape could see how he felt.
And as Snape whispered, "Legilimens," Harry smiled.
* * * * *
Filch, returning from an evening pint at the Hog's Head, stumped grimly past the Great Gates of Hogwarts, eyes averted, and reflected that Hogwarts was not what it was during Armando Dippet's time. But what could he do? If the Headmaster of Hogwarts chose to snog the blasted Boy-Who-Lived right up against the gate-posts, he couldn't stop him. Although, with the Headmaster otherwise occupied, there would be more of the little brats roaming the hallways for him to catch. With a grim smile, he straightened his coat and stomped on his way.