Chapter Text
Peter raised his hand to knock but hesitated.
"Come on in, Peter," Charles' voice called out to him. He did as he was told. "We can finish the game later. I'll let you two talk." If Charles heard Erik mentally curse him, the telepath didn't say anything. Erik may have found steady footing with his daughter, Wendy. The common focus of getting Peter back had helped them bond. Erik still wasn't sure where he stood with his son. Sure, Peter was glad his dad stuck around, but it wasn't as easy. They had an awkward history.
"How do you do it?" Peter blurted out.
"Do what?" Erik asked in confusion.
"Keep functioning after all the shit that has happened," Peter clarified, his shoulders sagging as he did.
Erik hummed and told his son to take a seat. Peter hesitated, but Erik just waited until he sat down.
"Charles, and probably even your mother, would say stubbornness and stupidity." Erik grinned. "Me, I try to focus on something that gets me through the day, then the next day, then the next week. I won't lie and tell you it goes away." Peter huffed. Erik squeezed his son's shoulder. “Nothing can change the things you have gone through. Sure someone like Charles could make you forget it, but well," Erik paused, mentally apologizing to Charles for what he was going to say next. He knew the telepath would be eavesdropping. He focused back on his son. "Telepaths can do that, but you saw how spectacularly terrible that could go after what happened with Jean. And trust me, trying to bury it all on your own doesn't help either. Charles showed me that a long time ago. Because at the end of the day, those times might be painful to think about, but the fact you feel that way means you had happier times at one point. That something along the way brought joy into your life. To try and bury it all, you lose the good parts too. I let myself focus on the bad things, and it blinded me. I only let myself see the dark path I was on. I missed my chances to have a life that was worth living, so I just kept on that same path. I look back now and see all the things I missed. But I can see the good in it now. I can see it in you and your sister. And it is painful, but I can still see my Anya smile, still hear Nina's laugh, when I think of them." Erik smiled sadly. "Before I let that grief consume me, and I made choices that nearly cost me the only good things in my life, you and Wendy. So what keeps me going now? Despite everything, it's the two of you."
"That was...a lot," Peter stated. Erik chuckled. "So it isn't just your stupidity, cool."
"I always believed I was trying to make a better world, one safer for the next generation. Especially after losing Anya, it was a drive never to let that happen again."
"But it happened again," Peter said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet, and he remembered what Wendy had told him. Peter had seen what happened to Magda and Nina.
"It did," Erik shifted so he was fully facing Peter. "Because I was wrong, and I made the same mistake after losing Nina, but this time it nearly cost me you. Part of wishes you or Raven would have told me then, but part of me is glad you didn't."
"Really?"
"Seeing what Apocalypse did to you, to your team, well, that was never what I wanted for the future. Turning on our own. It is never what I wanted."
“If I hadn’t chickened out and I told you like I planned on, right there in Cairo, what would have happened?”
"I'd have torn him to pieces with my bare hands or died trying," Erik admitted.
Peter thought about how that battle might have gone. "Yikes, that would have been like a thousand times more traumatizing."
"I'm sure it would have been," Erik agreed.
"But if I had told you sooner,” Peter said, “it might have never happened."
Erik considered it. "Maybe, maybe not. Apocalypse had the determination of a madman. He would have just found someone else to take my place. And I wouldn't have been there to help stop him. But we can't change what is done. These what-ifs, they will drive you mad."
"I have three realities in my brain. I think I'm already a bit mad," Peter admitted.
"Now that, we might be able to help you sort out. More so Charles and your sister, but I will be there if you want me to." Erik knew it might not be easy, but he also knew they would do anything to help him. So they would figure something out.
"You really think they can help?" Peter asked.
"I do,” Erik assured him.
Wendy sat down across from Charles. Erik was hovering off to the side.
“I haven’t used my powers like this since I was first learning,” Wendy admitted. “I usually just make people see what I want them to see. I try not to spend too much time in their minds. I gets...messy, does that make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense,” Charles reassured her. “And I know it can be unnerving being in someone else’s head. More often than not, they will try and fight you. Sometimes they show you things you never wanted to see. People might actually feel more comfortable with you than most telepaths.”
“Why?” Wendy asked.
Charles glanced at Erik. “Your father doesn’t like telepaths.”
“That is-” Erik started to argue but was stopped when Charles held his hand up.
“Most telepaths. He trusts me because I try to be respectful and don’t use my powers if I can avoid it. He loves you and trusts you. We are the exceptions. Most telepaths don’t mind corrupting and manipulating minds to get what they want. And often, they do it without anyone realizing it. No one knows they are using their powers. But you have something that most telepaths don’t, a visual clue. People will always trust you more than other telepaths because when you use your powers, you glow. Your eyes turn the most brilliant shade of red. It is stunning.” Charles grinned.
“So that’s a good thing?” She asked.
“I believe it will make your life easier, at least in this particular aspect of your powers,” Charles said.
“Now, I want you to use your powers on me,” Charles said.
“If you’re sure,” Wendy glanced at her father, who simply nodded.
“I am.” Charles nodded.
“Okay,” Wendy said as she raised her hand to his temple, her fingers and her eyes glowing as she did.
Charles felt the somewhat familiar sensation of someone else in his mind. It was something he hadn’t felt since Jean. He had to focus his mind on anything but that. So he thought about a safe topic, a neutral one, the memory of the X-Men’s last danger room session.
“What do you see?” Charles asked out loud. He wanted this to be her using her powers, not him.
“The team,” Wendy said, her head tilted to the side as she focused. “Scott is trying to give Peter orders, and of course, my brother is being a smartass but still does as he’s told. And you...you thought it was just Peter being Peter. There’s a fondness there, normalcy, but there’s…” She stopped talking and frowned.
“Wendy?” Charles said he was about to take over as Erik stepped beside them. “Wendy, what’s wrong?” He raised his hand to his temple and was about to assert his own powers to control the situation when her hand dropped and her eyes cleared. She moved forward and hugged him.
“You miss them so much. I’m so sorry,” Wendy said, her voice full of emotions.
Charles realized that she had caught the fact that almost any memory he has now holds a hint of sadness. The team training without Raven and Jean is tough to watch at times. He is proud of how far the team has recovered. He is proud of how Scott had handled it. Sure, he had a harsher edge in training sessions, but he was the leader. He lost the people he would fall back on. Wendy had stepped in and offered to help. They had needed more team members, and she was a powerful asset. Jubilee had joined as well. Scott was learning to command his new team and was at a bit of a loss when it came to Wendy. Peter knew her best, and the two would play off each other’s assets. It annoyed Scott to a point, but everything about Peter tended to annoy Scott, so that wasn’t what had surprised him. It was how he handled giving a command to Wendy that had caught Charles off guard. He seemed to be hesitant. Charles knew why. And he could sympathize with the boy. She was a lot like Jean when it came to her powers. Charles sighed and hugged Wendy back.
“I do, but we should get to work if you want to help your brother,” Charles said.
“Right, okay,” Wendy nodded and sat back in her chair. Her hand raised and glowing. The next hour was spent helping her control her telepathy.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Wendy asked nervously.
"What else can I do?" Peter admitted, he was tired of being unsure.
"Wendy knows your mind much better than I do," Charles told him. "But I will help you any way I can. Slow your mind and try and concentrate, Peter. Remember, we are here to help.” Peter nodded as Wendy raised her hand to her brother’s temple. Charles’ raised his to his own.
Wendy huffed when she was met with a barrage of swiftly moving memories. She forced herself to concentrate on drawing out memories that would help him. Charles could feel Wendy’s frustration growing as she would try, but it was like trying to catch the rain. It was too fast.
“Keep trying. You’re doing well,” Charles told her. “Peter, try to think about the school, the students.” Charles could see flashes of the students he knew, but they were mixed with children he’d never seen. Two boys. Halloween pranks. Video games. A speedster like Peter.”
“Those boys, who are they?” Charles asked.
“Wanda’s twins,” Peter said. “The other Wanda’s. Tommy and Billy, but I just called the one Speed. Or well, that me, they weren’t real. They...this sucks.”
“I know, but it might help,” Charles said. The next few hours were spent trying to find a sort of baseline. Charles would try to get Peter to remember something, and the three of them would go through what he came up with. It was exhausting for them all.
Erik had ended things when he could tell Wendy was getting fatigued. He could see beads of sweat on her forehead, and her hands were shaking. He had taken her up to her room to rest. He stayed with her until she was asleep. He went to check on Peter to find he had opted to watch TV with his friends. He looked exhausted, and a few of his friends exchanged worried glances but said nothing. Erik would check on him again in a bit.
He had found Charles where he’d left him, in the study, rubbing at his temples.
“You look beat,” Erik said as he leaned against the wall.
Charles chuckled. “Peter’s mind was unlike anyone I have ever encountered even before he was taken. Wendy’s mind is easier, but she is so strong and doesn’t even realize how much potential she truly has.” Charles smiles. Despite the ache in his head, he could appreciate aspects of the situation. Their minds were beautiful and so unique, souls to match. They were like their father. No mind had ever been as fascinating to him as Erik‘s had. They were put through so much when they were young, but they are full of love and kindness. Peter’s humor and joy are practically infectious, but he had been struggling since he returned. Charles wanted nothing more than to help him get that back, or at least help him find himself again. He might never be the same, but he would get better. Thinking of Wendy made his heartache. She reminded him so much of Jean. She had stepped into Jean’s spot on the team with some hesitation. Her powers were similar. They were stronger than she knew, an uncontrollable nature to both forces. Wendy tried to navigate her new position with respect for her predecessor. She didn’t know Jean, but the loss her new friends had felt was clear. They missed her. Charles missed her, but he wouldn’t hold that against Wendy. It wouldn’t be fair.
“But?” Erik prompted.
“But exhausting,” Charles admitted.
“You really should consider resting, my friend,” Erik told him.
“I suppose you are right,” Charles said with a nod
“Charles,” Erik called after him.
“Yes?”
“Thank you for helping Peter,” Erik stated.
“We have only just begun, but I am happy to try,” Charles informed him before leaving.
Erik spent the next few hours trying to find something to keep his mind occupied. He would check in on his sleeping daughter, then Peter and his friends, and pacing the halls, making sure the school was at least at some level of calm. It was never truly quiet. There was always someone hurrying to get somewhere. Classes might be done for the day, and honestly, classes were the last concern for his family. His kids had bigger issues to deal with. Charles had handed the school over to Hank before he left for Paris. They were actually more in the way at the school than anything. Erik appreciated Hank’s patience with letting them stay there. Sure, the twins were part of the X-Men, and that meant this was their home. They were also good with the students. The younger students loved Peter’s stories. Erik was sure his son enjoyed the attention. The fact Peter could be ridiculously childish at times probably helped. Erik just hoped his son could get back to his happy self at some point. After the third time of checking on the twins, he decided he should probably see how Charles was doing.
Erik knocked but let himself into Charles' room. "How are you feeling?" He asked when he saw Charles was awake.
"Better now," Charles smiled softly.
"I know his mind is migraine-inducing under normal circumstances," Erik said as he sat down on the side of the bed. "I would help him myself if I could."
"You are helping," Charles reached over and put a hand on Erik's arm. "By being there."
"But not like you can. He's my son, and I can only stand there and watch. And I know it is painful for you, and there isn't anything I can do."
"There isn't anything else you should be doing. You may not believe me, but your presence in that room is helping. You are there in case something goes wrong. You are there to make sure everything outside that room remains outside that room. Peter cannot possibly feel more vulnerable than let others into his mind, especially after already having had so many in it. And Wendy, she is focused on helping her brother. She trusts you won't let anything happen while she is. She knows you always catch her when she falls."
"And you?"
"You know I trust you," Charles squeezed his arm.
"And I will never understand how you can," Erik admitted.
"Because you never wanted to fight," Charles stated.
"Oh, I wanted to fight," Erik chuckled sadly, "just not you."
"It may have taken me some time, but I know you never wanted to hurt me, no more than Moira did."
"I never want to, but I do," Erik said, putting his hand over Charles' on his arm. "I always do."
"Erik, I will gladly suffer a few migraines if it helps your son."
"I cannot thank you enough," Erik told him.
"Not necessarily. He is your family. I am happy to help."
"Oh god," Wendy said under her breath as she pulled away from her brother. She wiped at tears on her face. Erik knelt next to her. He tended to pace while Wendy and Charles tried to help Peter. She gripped Erik's hand tightly.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Peter kept repeating. "I didn't want you to see that one."
Erik look put his free hand on the back of his son's neck. He could feel him shaking.
"Peter," Charles moved his chair so he could face Peter. "There is nothing you need hide from us. No one here will think any less of you." Charles watched as Peter's gaze moved to his sister. Charles understood why she has been upset. "That memory and the others like it are the ones I am here to help you with."
"Why don't we take a 5-minute breather and come back to it," Erik suggested. Peter nodded and took off. Wendy dropped her head to her hands. Erik rubbed her back to help calm her.
What did you see? Erik asked mentally as he looked at Charles.
Forced memories that belonged to the other Pietro, Charles told him.
The one that died, Erik frowned.
He was shot several times while saving a teammate and a child. His sister felt it.
You said memories, Erik asked. What else was there?
Charles shook his head. He was unsure if it was a good idea to tell Erik what else he had been shown.
"Charles," Erik called his name out loud. Charles smiled sadly. "Later, my friend. I promise."
"You okay, Wendy?" Erik asked her when she raised her head. He gently brushed a few stray tears off her cheek.
She nodded. "It just makes so much more sense now," she said.
"What does, darling?"
"The other Wanda," Wendy stated. "She felt it. She felt the moment her brother. I nearly ripped the doors off their hinges because I couldn't feel Peter anymore. The times he was injured. I could feel that something was wrong. But to feel him die." She violently shook her head to try and rid herself of the image.
"Look at me," Erik said as he knelt in front of her, gently taking her face into his hands to stop her from shaking it again. "He is alive. He is safe. He is home. You are here, you are safe, and you are you."
She gripped his wrists and stared at him.
"Thanks, Dad." She smiled.
"You're welcome, sweetheart," Erik said, kissing her forehead as he stood up.
Erik looked over at Charles, who was smiling fondly.
At the end of the break, Peter reappeared.
"You're safe, you're here, and this is real," Erik said as he gently put his hand on Peter's shoulder in an attempt to ground him. Peter leaned into his touch.
"I want to try something different," Charles said. They all looked at Charles, confused. "We have been trying to sort through and find the true you," Charles continued. "Let me try something. Erik, come here." Erik raised an eyebrow and did what Charles asked, calling the chair he rarely used over. "Thank you."
What are you doing? Erik mentally asked.
You said you wanted to help. Just think about Peter, your memories of him.
Erik let his eyes close and remembered being in the glass prison and looking up from the note and seeing Peter there.
"Perfect," Charles said, placing his hand to Peter's temples and letting Erik's memories of Peter breaking him out. Then it shifted to Erik helping rebuild the school alongside Jean, but his focus was not on his powers. The metal of Peter’s crutches had caught his attention, and Erik let himself remember how shocked he was that Peter was not only up and hobbling around but was helping distract the few students they hadn't been able to send home. Peter had nearly died, but the kid refused to stay down. He insisted on being helpful. Erik had thought if somewhat foolish but respectable. He eventually had to focus on rebuilding. Then Erik's thoughts shifted to helping Hank set up the target in the clearing. Erik was assuring Wendy she could do it. He was telling her to focus on the target at feeling Peter. Focus on the connection she has. The physical target is there for direction. Her true object of focus is Peter. He told her to draw on everything she knows and loves about her brother. Then Hank was shouting, and Erik was telling her he was there. Then Peter was there. Erik shared the feeling of awe and relief at seeing the twins together. His children. His armor was gone, and he was holding them. Nothing could possibly feel more important and more real than that.
"Thank you, Erik," Charles said as he pulled back. "Did that help, Peter?" Charles looked over at Peter, who was staring at his dad. "Peter?" Charles called his name again.
"You really meant it when you said we keep you going," Peter said, his voice filled with emotion.
"I told you I wouldn't lie to you," Erik told him. "Especially now. You have enough doubts from having so many people mess with your mind. But I can only show you what I do know. That may not be a lot. The truth is the least of what I owe you."
Charles was about to ask Peter how he was feeling but was stopped when Peter hugged Erik. Charles had to look away at. He was used to mentally intruding on his loved ones privacy, not physically. He began to move himself away but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Wendy. "You said there is nothing we need hide from you," She smiled at him. "Why would you think to leave now?" She asked him quietly. She tilted her head to the side as if to study him. And Charles Xavier realized the tables had turned in a way. He was the one been studied. "If it because you see it as a family moment, then I don't think you give yourself enough credit." She let that comment be for a moment before turning her attention to her brother. He had pulled away from his father, but Erik still had a hand on the back of Peter's neck. Peter didn't seem to care. Most students came to the school touch starved. Mutation often meant isolation. And if Peter was anything like his father, then touch starved is probably putting it lightly.
"Feeling any better?" She asked Peter.
"Yeah," Peter nodded.
"So, do you think this way helps more?"
"I think so," Peter nodded again.
"Good, then I guess we know where to start tomorrow." Charles grinned. "I'm sure you could all use some rest."
"And lunch," Peter stated.
Wendy laughed. "Come on. I'll make you a sandwich."
"Yes," Peter grinned.
"Do it your way," Wendy added.
"This is why you are the best," Peter said before bracing his sister's neck, and they vanished.
Charles shook his head and laughed.
"Thank you," Erik's words drew his attention.
"No need. I’m glad to see him starting to feel like his normal self."
"How's your head?" Erik asked.
"Nothing I can't handle," Charles replied.
"Good to know, but also not an answer to what I asked."
Charles chuckled. "Not nearly as bad as last time."
"That's good."
It was quiet for a moment before Charles sighed.
"You want to know what the other memory was, don't you?" Charles asked.
"Yes," Erik nodded.
"And if I told you that I know beyond a doubt you will not like what I have to say, it changes nothing, does it?"
"No."
"Fine, but sit down and try not to destroy anything. Hank was kind enough to let me have my office back for the time being. I hope to return it to him intact."
"I will do my best," Erik stated as he sat down.
"You know that the version of the twins in the other reality, they chose to become something other than human. Their decisions were made out of anger and grief. War and corruption had destroyed their home, killed their parents. They thought they were doing the right thing. The memory we saw were those people exposing them to a powerful object. It was a painful and traumatic transition into a being with unnatural abilities. They were tested. Confined. Forced to their limits and kept apart."
Erik hated every word, but there was more thing he needed to know. "By who?"
"A Nazi-created organization called Hydra."
That did it. That pissed Erik off. The metal around them began to rattle.
"I know, Erik," Charles said, his hand finding Erik's balled fist. "I know, my friend. Just remember, they might be in Peter's head, but they are not his. They are not yours. Your son is here, he is safe, and he is home." Charles repeats what Erik had told the twins. "Your daughter is here, she is safe, and she is home. Your children never have to know that pain because you made sure of it. The men who did that don't exist here in that way. You yourself saw to that. I may not have agreed with your methods, but Shaw and his men are dead. Your twins are here, down the hall. Please, Erik. You made sure no young mutant would ever be subject to Shaw or Stryker, even Trask. If I ever caught wind of something like that happening here, I would destroy it myself. I know I failed Peter too. I was not able to protect him from my own students. I thought I was doing the right thing too, but I failed them all. But none of that matters right now, because we came back here to keep trying. We came back now to help them because we need them as much as they need us. Please, Erik." Charles felt the other man's fingers begin to relax as he spoke. Erik's hand accepting his.
"You are still a better man than I," Erik said.
"We both made our mistakes," Charles admitted.
"The biggest one was thinking that we would be able to move and not end up back here," Erik sighed but smiled. He would admit over half his happy memories were here.
"I guess it was never truly an option," Charles said with a smile. “At least not alone this time."
"At least not alone," Erik agreed.
The twins were sitting in the kitchen when the lights flickered. Wendy's eyes flash red for a second before she shook her head and went back to eating her sandwich.
"What?" Peter asked. "What was that?"
"Charles can handle it," she said.
They flickered again, remaining dim. They heard running.
"Guys," Scott started but was cut off when Kurt popped in.
Wendy held up her hand. "The Professor is handling it," she assured them. "Kurt, do you know where Hank is?"
He nodded. "Lab."
"Can you let him know it is just my dad being his high-strung self and that it is being handled?"
Kurt nodded and vanished. She turned to Scott. "It's nothing to worry about." As she spoke, the lights returned to normal. "See?"
Scott grumbled but left.
"What just happened?" Peter stared at his sister.
Wendy put her hand on Peter's where it was on the table. "Dad is…" she chose her words carefully. "Processing what happened today."
"I thought he was in a good mood. He smiled. I thought it went well."
"It did, Pete," Wendy said.
"I'm confused," Peter admitted.
"I know," Wendy.
"Is...he's okay right?"
"He will be," She said as she patted his hand. "Now, finish your sandwich."
Peter considered the situation and decided his sister probably knew best.
"That was pretty cool. They just listened to you, even Scott."
Wendy shrugged. "Kurt will do anything within reason for everyone because he is a nice guy. You really think Scott's going to fight me, especially when dad is messing with the light?"
"He'd still fight me," Peter said.
"Because your a smartass," Wendy grinned.
"Language, Wendy," Erik said as he joined them. She laughed.
"You okay?" She asked her father.
"I'm fine," Erik stated.
"We're not going to end up having an electrical fire from your dramatics?" Peter asked before he could stop himself.
Wendy groaned. "Do you have even an ounce of self-preservation?"
"Sorry," Peter said.
Erik reminded himself they never got to know Anya, and their mother probably kept that and Erik from them. He forced himself to relax. He didn't need to upset them more than they already had been. He came over and put his hand on the back of his son's neck as he sat down beside them. "I think you forget I helped rebuild a lot of this place."
"Hard to forget, you just showed me," Peter said.
"I did."
"Okay, but, seriously, what happened with the lights?"
"No secrets," Wendy added.
Erik sighed. "I wanted to know what upset you both." Peter's shoulders slumped. "It's okay, Peter. As someone who lived through that sort of thing, it is not easy thinking about you having to fight nightmares like that, even if they are not your own. I also know the damage a single bullet can do. That pain, I don't want that for you," Erik told him.
"I'm faster than bullets," Peter pointed out.
"I bet he thought that too," Erik said, earning him a glare from his daughter. "But he didn't have me."
"Wow, so this is where he gets it from." Wendy laughed as she took her brother's plate with hers to the sink. "So humble."
"I'm not above fighting dirty if it means you two survive," Erik stated with all seriousness.
"Is he even capable of making a nondestructive decision?" She asked.
Erik looked up when her question was answered.
"I ask myself the same question often," Charles chuckled. "It is part of the burden of being the level-headed one."
"You say that because you missed the temper tantrums because she couldn't get the part for her hair straight," Peter grumbled, earning him a wet towel to the face. Peter laughed.
"Says the guy that took weeks to figure out how to stop without running into a wall." She kept the thought about being the one sent away for being chaotic to herself or at least failed to realize she had practically broadcast it. She only realized her mistake when she felt a hand on her back, a soft smile on his face. She smiled back, glad that he didn't say anything but appreciating the gesture.
"I figured it out on my own," Peter grumbled.
Erik grinned and shook his head.