Chapter Text
Things the residents of Dorm Three are NOT ALLOWED to do:
- Attempt to hog the remote even if it isn’t their turn to pick for movie night. It’s only once every three or so weeks that it is Sarukui’s turn and his choices are not even that bad. You are being mean for absolutely no reason.
Next time be a man and say it to my face, Sawamura —Konoha
He has. Multiple times. —Kunimi
Akinori just doesn’t understand the otherworldly genius of Michael Bay —Sarukui
You gotta admit it’s a good change of pace from all the slasher flicks and psychological dramas the Shiratorizawa alumni seem to be so fond of. —Ennoshita
#TeenAngst
Don’t be disrespectful, Oikawa. —Sawamura
#YoungAdultAngst
- Spam the dorm group chat with memes and tiktoks. As an addendum, please triple check the recipient of your messages before sending them. We’ve had one too many pictures of the phallic variety end up where they were clearly not supposed to.
- Play beer pong with anything other than beer in the cups. The aftermath of the Super Duper Extreme Lev Special Pong Championship should still be fresh in everyone’s minds. The quantities of Advil consumed the following morning will remain undisclosed.
I should trade mark that —Lev
- Set off fireworks inside carved pumpkins. Inside the building. Make no mistake, this is not an encouragement to do so outdoors either, but rather a reminder that yet another visit from the fire department is a most undesirable outcome.
It’s happened so much I’m pretty sure the firefighters already know some of us by name. —Kinoshita
COUGHCOUGHHinata. —Kageyama
Y’all hear something? —Hinata
Simp for Halloween 2020 Shibayama.- NOT simp for Halloween 2020 Shibayama.
Okay, which one of you fuckers was it this time? —Iwaizumi
Don’t lie to yourself, Iwaizumi —Hanamaki
We’re all simps here —Watari
I’m sorry, but what exactly is a simp? —Shibayama
Oh, you sweet, innocent summer child~~
- Use the spare mattresses from the basement for human mattress domino. The Youtube trending page is a marvelous realm made up of 50% kpop, Minecraft and beauty guru drama, and 30% adult children doing things ranging from mildly irresponsible to shockingly stupid for as little as five minutes of fame. Don’t be part of that 30%.
I am confused. What is the remaining 20%? —Ushijima
Late night show clips —Kawanishi
That’s somehow worse than everything else listed above —Yahaba
- Host esports watch parties with the Dorm Five guys.
- Or Smash tournaments against them. Humble in victory, graceful in defeat does not seem to apply to many of our residents.
- Sneak their girlfriends/boyfriends/partners in to spend the night without getting an Overnight Guest permit from one of the RAs. Also, some friendly advice for when you inevitably get caught, do not try to employ the study buddy excuse. It will only make you look silly.
- On the topic of having guests, the residents of Dorm Three are not allowed to invite the Miya twins over. That goes for day visits, overnight stays and everything else in between.
Would you believe me if I told you the slip and slide wasn’t their idea? —Bokuto
Bro, sorry to break it to you, but the whole campus knows it was their idea —Kuroo
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Put pink hair dye in Tsukishima’s shampoo.Actually, he kind of deserved it after ruining Kageyama’s laundry last week. Carry on, there’s nothing to see here —Iwaizumi
An RA encouraging naughty behaviour? How… scandalous (・`ω´・)
Make a formal complaint if you don’t like how I run things, Trashykawa
Can somebody please explain what a simp is? I’m still lost —Shibayama
OH.
OH.
NEVERMIND.