Chapter Text
To Be at a Prank War
Chapter 3
Nanami was a light sleeper, so it was no surprise that he woke up at three in the morning to the sound of an alarm clock going off.
The sound was shrill and echoed through the male wing of the dormitory, stopping one minute later. For a few seconds the blonde wondered if anyone was going on a mission in the middle of the night, but when he didn't hear any doors opening and closing, he was content with the idea that the person had set the clock wrongly.
However, that idea was thrown out the window, when the alarm went off again and someone started grumbling. And for some reason this time the sound wasn’t stopping.
Five minutes later, a second alarm clock started to ring, and this time Nanami could hear the ‘Fuck!’ that Gojo Satoru had said.
And exactly 5 minutes later, a third alarm clock joined the watch choir.
How many of this shit did they put in here?! Satoru's voice sounded clearly irritated.
Kento sighed deeply and placed the pillow over his head. He also wanted to know the answer to the question that Gojo had asked rhetorically, but above all...
A fourth clock joined the high-pitched festival, and the blonde could hear Satoru cursing the people he called friends.
...what Nanami wanted to know the most was: when all this will end?
…
“Did you see?”
“Ah, you saw it too.”
“What is this boy doing here?”
“Poor thing…”
Suguru covered his head with the blanket, for some reason his room was brighter than usual, but he was sure he had closed the curtains before going to bed. And why so much noise? Why could he hear so many people talking? The male wing was not so noisy in the morning.
“Maybe...he ran away from home?”
“But...he brought a bed...?”
Not able to stand the noise anymore, Geto finally opened his eyes and sat on the bed, but the last thing he expected was to come across two elderly women standing in front of him.
For a moment he was confused, then his eyes started to look at the scene around him, a quiet residential street, people passed, staring and making comments about him, but who could blame them? After all, he was sitting on his bed, wearing pajamas (thanks god he has a shirt on) and two ladies were asking if he was okay and how he got there.
Suguru was fine, aside from the fact that he woke up in a neighborhood he didn't recognize. And how had he ended there? Obviously Satoru was to blame for that.
He sighed and then stared at his bed. He shouldn't be far from Jujutsu Tech, as Satoru was not yet able to teleport very far, but it would be tiring to carry a bed back to school.
Today he would definitely make Satoru pay.
…
“What's that girl doing over there?!”
“Get her out!”
Shoko rolled over in her bed, it’s too early to hear all that shouting, had the girl's wing always been noisy in the mornings? However, the instant she turned around, something seemed extremely wrong, so even against her will, the Ieiri opened her eyes, just to regret it in the next moment.
She wasn't in her room, that was a fact. She was outdoors on an inflatable mattress and there was water everywhere.
“What do you think you're doing in the pool?! And how did you get in here? This is a private club!”
Ieiri stared at the man, probably the security guard of the said club, who kept shouting for her to get out of the pool right away.
As if I wanted to be here..., she thought while lying back on the mattress and staring at the sky.
“I'll call the police if you don't get out of there now!”
If she was destinated to be arrested, she hoped that it was for the murder of Gojo Satoru, at least she would know that she freed humanity from a plague.
…
Her cellphone’s ring, forced (f/n) to wake up. Reaching out her hand to pick up the device on the nightstand beside her bed, she answered with a drowsy voice.
“Hello…?”
“(L/n)...were you sleeping?”
“Hmm…? Nanami...? Why are you calling me?” Asked (f/n) sleepy, while checking the hours on the alarm clock. “It's too early…”
“What are you talking about? It's past 9 o'clock.”
“What?!” She exclaimed, sitting up in bed and checking the alarm clock that still read 6 a.m, while the cellphone’s clock read 9:15. Was her alarm clock broken? No, the pointers were moving... so why...?
Ah... unless someone had touched her alarm clock...
“Ugh...you’re loud...there are people wanting to sleep here yet…”
The girl froze. A voice...she heard an extremely familiar voice from her...bed? Slowly (f/n) turned around to look at the other side of her bed, just to see Gojo Satoru sitting up with a still sleepy expression.
(F/n) screamed and fell on the floor. Why was Satoru in her room?! Or rather, why was Satoru lying on her bed and without a shirt?!
“(L/n)?! What happened?!”
“What are you doing here?!” She shouted pointing at the boy, her face redder than ever, terrified of not having noticed the invader.
“There is someone there with you? (L/n)? (L/…”
(F/n) accidentally disconnected the call, but in her state of surprise, the girl had completely forgotten about the call and hadn’t heard Nanami's last sentence, at the moment she needed to understand what was happening in her room.
“What do you think you're doing in my room?!” The (L/n) repeated. “And on my bed!!!”
“Good morning to you too (F/n).” Said the white-haired boy yawning.
A vein of irritation appeared on the sorceress's forehead, Satoru still had the audacity to say "good morning" in that situation!
“And why are you not wearing a…” Her face turned redder, if that was possible. “... a shirt?!”
“Ehhh...you don't remember what happened last night, (F/n)?” Asked Gojo, his sleepy expression giving space to a playful one. “Should I be shocked by this?”
“Nothing happened last night, idiot!!!”
“This is debatable.”
“No! It is not, because nothing happened!!!”
“If you are so sure, why ask?”
“Shut up! What are you doing here?!”
“Thanks to one of you who hid, who knows how many alarm clocks in my room, I couldn't sleep in my own bed, since one alarm rang after another every 5 minutes.” The boy replied. “So I had to look for another place to sleep, apart from that I couldn't get rid of all the ladybugs.”
“The ladybugs are your fault.”
“And the alarm clocks yours.”
“And why my room?”
“Because I obviously wanted to scare you, you know, I even went through the trouble to get a scary mask, but I well...I slept.”
“In my bed.”
“If you wake up before me, I could at least try and convince you that we…”
“I understood!!! And you’re an idiot by the way! Now can you put on a t-shirt and leave my room?!”
Satoru's blue eyes looked at the shirt he had hung on the chair and then turned his attention to the girl in front of him.
"Make me." He said, smiling from ear to ear.
And another vein of irritation leapt on (f/n)’s forehead, who took the shirt and walked towards the sophomore, trying to force him to get dressed.
“Put the shirt!!!”
“Don’t wanna!” He replied laughing, while holding the girl wrists.
And when she thought things couldn't get any worse, the bedroom door opened violently, and Nanami accompanied by Haibara entered the room, concern written on their features.
“(L/n)!”
“(F/n)-chan!”
“Are you ok…”
Time seemed to have stopped. All four occupants of the room had momentarily froze. Kento and Yu were standing at the door of the room, while (f/n) had her legs between Satoru's, and her wrists held by him. Even her act of trying to PUT the shirt on the boy could be mistaken for the opposite.
“Morning.” Gojo said suddenly, breaking the awkward (and embarrassing) atmosphere that had been established.
“Eh…? Gojo...san?” Haibara said, confusion written on his face, unlike Nanami who was expressionless.
“It...it's not what you are thinking!” (F/n) cried as soon as her voice returned, her face blushing again.
"We...we didn't want to disturb you." Said Nanami, in the process of closing the door.
“Nanami! Haibara!” (F/n) exclaimed, pulling her wrists from Satoru's hold and running towards the door. “I can explain! Wait!”
"No way." Replied the blonde before closing the door completely.
Silence dominated the room, and the girl didn’t know where to hide her face. Her friends had definitely got it all wrong! They would never look at her the same way again! With a few tears in her eyes and a completely flushed face, (f/n) turned to face Gojo, who smiled.
“So...where were we?”
She would definitely kill that sorcerer.
…
“Can we just kill Gojo? Please?" Shoko asked later that day. “I swear this is my only wish! I was almost arrested for trespassing on private property thanks to him.”
"In that case you would be arrested for murder." Replied Geto, placing some coins in the drink machine.
“No one will miss a lunatic. We will be doing everyone a favor.” Commented (f/n). “And the pranks will end!”
"...maybe..." Suguru agreed, picking up the three cans of coffee that had fallen, and giving the extra drinks to his friends. "...or we can end this once and for all.”
“And how would we do that, Suguru-senpai?” Asked the youngest opening the drink.
The black-haired boy smiled and turned to face (f/n), who immediately had a bad feeling.
“...what…?”
…
“I can’t believe they convinced me to do this.” Mumbled (f/n), leaning against one of the trees at the back of the main building. “By the way, why do they think this will work anyway?”
“(F/n)~~~I got your message!”
He really came , thought (f/n), her (e/c) eyes staring at the tall figure of Satoru approaching, one hand in his pants pocket and the other one waving. He seemed very unconcerned taking into account that at the very moment they were in a prank war.
Well...but if you take into account the techniques he possessed, he obviously didn't have much to worry about.
“You know, sending a message and asking to meet you at the back of the main building is very cliché.” Commented the boy when he was a few steps away from (f/n). “It's just not more cliché than asking me to meet you at the rooftop..."
"Do you think we're in some kind of shoujo manga?" The girl asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Well, people have two reasons to talk privately in the back of the school. It's either to start a fight, which I don't think you would do, or to confess your feelings to someone.”
The girl sighed and rolled her eyes, trying her hardest to ignore the fact that her cheeks were flushing.
“Satoru, you are really reading a lot of shoujo manga.”
“But am I wrong~?” Hummed the boy, a grin in his lips.
“If we follow your logic, no, you are not wrong.”
“Eh~So are you going to declare your love for me?” Gojo asked with a big smirk on his face.
Follow the plan.
(F/n) repeated this phrase in her mind several times. As much as she was dying to punch Gojo, who had the most pretentious expression she had ever seen, she needed to restrain herself, or she would end up ruining Suguru's plan.
Again, why did they think she could distract Satoru?
“And...what if I say...yes...?” Said (f/n), her face blushing more with each word. “I called you here to...confess…”
“...what…?”
Okay! She did it! She had said it! She had followed her senpai's bloody plan! Now, Satoru would probably make fun of her!
Except that when she finally found enough courage to face the white-haired boy, she couldn't say who was more surprised. Her or him.
Gojo Satoru. That Gojo Satoru, was standing in front of her, his face flushed, his mouth slightly open - he was speechless, who knew? - and his infamous sunglasses misaligned. The surprised expression was as clear as his sky blue eyes...
If the plan was to distract Satoru momentarily to the point that he would disable all of his techniques, she had probably succeeded.
“Wh...why are you making that face?!” She shouted, cheeks burning with embarrassment. This was not how she expected Satoru to react! She expected him to laugh, to make some stupid comment, anything but that expression! On second thought, now she even preferred that he laughed at the situation!
“W...what?! I'm not making a face!” He exclaimed, but his features said the opposite.
“You are!”
“Ughhh! It's your fault!” He said, obviously frustrated, his hands now ruffling his hair.
“Why would it be my fault?!”
“It's because you said you were going to confess! To me!”
“Gahhhh!!! Don't say that! Don't say that!!! I will definitely die of shame!!!”
“But it was you who just talked about confessing!”
“Ahhhh!!! Shut up!!! You know! I'm leaving! Exclaimed (f/n) passing the boy, who turned to follow her.
“What?! You can’t!”
“Yes, I can and I will!” She wanted to get out of there anyway, her heart was racing, the sound of her heartbeat reaching her ears. Could Satoru hear them if he got too close?
“No! (F/n), wait…”
And suddenly something fell on Satoru's head, wetting his head and shoulders.
Silence. Both (f/n) and Satoru looked up, and at one of the windows in the main building were Shoko and Suguru, a big smile on their faces.
The boy then looked away from his classmates and went back to facing the damage they had done. His hair was soaked, as was the top of his uniform. And that was... glitter? Had they poured water and glitter on him? You mean his hair had pink glitter on it? Seriously?
“Satoru, let's end this once and for all.” Said Geto, invoking one of the curses he had under his control and climbing on it followed by Shoko.
The curse soared, and landed next to (f/n), who in turn remained quiet, still trying to get her face color back to normal, as well as her heartbeat.
“Can we leave that for later? I'm in the middle of a very important conversation and…”
A pause. And Satoru sighed. Of course...all this was just a distraction..., he already knew that, by the time he had received the message from (f/n) he knew it had something to do with the prank war that he himself had announced, even so, he couldn’t ignore the feeling of disappointment in his chest. What was he expecting anyway?
“... I hate you.” The white-haired boy said, his best friend just laughed.
"Disappointed?" Asked Shoko.
“Maybe a little. I finally thought that (f/n) had fallen for my charms.”
“Ha! What charms?” Retorted the (l/n), finally feeling a little normality in the conversation between them. “I've seen curses more charming than you.”
“So introduce me next tim…”
And again Satoru was interrupted, a balloon of water and glitter bursting in his face. He started coughing, he was sure he had just swallowed it! Meanwhile, the trio a little ahead of him was laughing again.
"I'm really going to kill you!" Gojo shouted, a vein of irritation bouncing on his forehead.
It was at that moment that Suguru placed a bucket full of balloons, probably filled with that shiny mixture, on the floor. Gojo was so distracted until then, that he hadn't even noticed that Geto had something on his hands.
“You know, we spread several buckets like this one over the garden.” The black haired boy said. “We have ammunition for some time, so let's just end this war in a fair way, without techniques and without cursed energy.”
And that made Satoru smirk.
“Fine, I was tired of pranking you anyway.” He agreed, walking towards the bucket and taking one of the balloons. “Now, may the best win!”
Glittery water balloons and balloons filled with paint began to fly from side to side. For a few minutes they would forget that they were sorcerers, that they had missions, that they were always putting their lives on the line. For a few minutes they would run, scream and laugh, because that was no longer a reckoning or a war, it was just them being teenagers, friends having fun.
…
“What are they doing now...?” Nanami asked rhetorically, walking down the hall on the ground floor.
"Does it look like a...war?" Haibara said, opening the window.
“Wait Haibara! Don’t…”
“(F/n)-chan! What…”
And it was at that moment that a balloon scraped over Haibara's face and hit Nanami, painting the blonde's face blue.
There was a pause, before their senpais and (l/n) started laughing.
“Enough…” Murmured the blonde, a vein of irritation appearing on his forehead.
“Eh...Nanami...?”
And Yu never got more surprised than at that moment. Seeing Nanami jump out of the window and run towards his friends with a balloon he had caught halfway, was something Haibara didn't really expect.
But Haibara laughed. He laughed really hard. And then he jumped out the window.
“Can I join too?!”
The backyard of the main building, no…the Jujutsu Tech has never been more colorful, bright and above all, cheerful.
Epilogue
“You were in a prank war...?” Said Nanami, his hair full of paint, just like his wet and colorful uniform.
Minutes after Nanami and Haibara joined the balloon war, Yaga Masamichi who was walking on one of the highest floors in the main building saw them, and immediately started shouting at his students. Even so, the order had been:
End this war as soon as possible and then clean up the mess!
So, now that the balloons were all gone, it was time to start fulfilling the second part of Yaga-sensei's order.
“Yeah…” Confirmed (f/n), feeling slightly embarrassed now that the said war was over. Her state was similar to that of Nanami and everyone who had participated in the 'war'. “...but it is entirely Satoru's fault! He started it!”
“(L/n), I know that Gojo-san is just a big kid…” He commented while sighing. “...but I didn't think that you, or our senpais would demean yourselves to his level.”
“Hey! I heard that, Nanami!” Exclaimed Gojo.
“At least we had fun”.Haibara said smiling.
"I didn't think it was funny." Said Ieiri, picking up the pieces of balloons.
“It is not what it seemed minutes ago.” Commented Satoru.
“Thanks to Gojo’s idiocy my limited edition sake's are gone.” Continued Shoko ignoring his friend.
“And I had to walk the streets in my pajamas and carrying a bed.” Said Geto cleaning the walls of the building, full of paint and glitter.
“What did you think about sleeping outdoors, Suguru?” Gojo asked laughing.
“I don’t mind camping, but thanks to you I had to explain to two ladies that I was not running away from home, and that I am not a sleepwalker.”
“And I had to see and hear strange things for two consecutive days.” Said Nanami frowning. “I never want to be asked about magazines again, I never want to see Geto-san taking lobsters out of the toilet, much less see (l/n) taking off Gojo-san's clothes.”
And the last part of that sentence made everyone stop their work for a moment.
“What did you say, Nanami?” Shoko asked, just to make sure she didn't hear it wrong.
“Ah...it happened...right...” Yu said, embarrassed, without realizing that his sentence would create another misunderstanding.
“At least lock the door when you are going to do these things, (l/n).” Deadpanned Nanami, his face expressionless. “And please, do not answer the phone while you are together.”
"YOU GOT IT WRONG!!!” (F/n) shouted, her cheeks red.
“Ehhh...” Murmured Shoko, staring at (f/n). “...who knew...you and Gojo really had sex…”
“We didn't do anything!!! Satoru! Say something!!! The girl shouted, frustrated and embarrassed.
“We just slept together, what's the matter, (f/n)?” The white-haired boy said with a naughty smile on his lips. He had every intention of making everyone continue to misunderstand what had happened that morning.
“Don't forget to use protection.” Commented Suguru, still cleaning the building walls, for some reason he did not seem impressed with the direction of the conversation.
“YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG!!!”
“Oh, don’t need to be so shy, (f/n)~~~” Continued Satoru, trying his best to not laugh at the girl’s red face. Why was it so fun to mess with her? “Everyone here knows how babies are made~.”
“I'm gonna kill you, Satoru!!!”
Nanami sighed.
Back to square zero.