Chapter Text
SouthernBitch: Fair warning, Sonny and Mike just got out of parenting class
Oh_Da_Fin: ??
AgryCuban: It’s baby day
AgryCuban sent a photo
Oh_Da_Fin: Oh y’all got them robot babies
AgryCuban: yea
LawyerTwink: GUYS
LawyerTwink: LOOK!
LawyerTwink sent a photo
LawyerTwink: I'M A FATHER
CluelessHimb0: WE’RE FATHERS SONNY
CluelessHimb0: Its our son, not just yours
LawyerTwink: I thought we agreed on getting a girl?
CluelessHimb0: …
LawyerTwink: I swear to god if our baby has a penis we’re getting a divorce
CluelessHimb0: WAIT NO
CluelessHimb0: I’LL SWITCH IT OUT I SWEAR!
R.Barba: wtf did I just come into
AgryCuban: a lot
Oh_Da_Fin: I check out of the conversation awhile ago
Oh_Da_Fin: But John talking about the Kennedy assassination so I’ll check back in
Oh_Da_Fin: Where your baby Barba
R.Barba: I’ve partnered up with Nick
AgryCuban: You’re a shitty father Rafa
R.Barba: I’m not planning to become a parent
AgryCuban: Still
LawyerTwink: Step up your game Rafe
CluelessHimb0: Yeah Rafael
AgryCuban: Do you even know her name?
R.Barba: It has a name?
Oh_Da_Fin: Damn that’s a little fucked up
R.Barba: It’s a BABY DOLL
R.Barba: But fine, I’ll come get it during lunch
AgryCuban: *her
R.Barba: yeah
R.Barba: her
“Will do, Principal Cragen, Thank you.”
Elliot closed the door and groaned
“What is it, the forth time this month ?”
Elliot picked up his head
“What can I say, Crangen just loves me” he smirked
Olivia smiled, “Come here.”
She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed his nose.
“EWEWW, PDA!”
Olivia looks up to see Sonny and Mike passing them. Mike cradling a plastic baby in his arms. Nick and Rafeal follow closely behind them.
“Sorry, Liv.” Nick called out out
Olivia laughed as Elliot rolled his eyes. She took her hand into his and started heading towards the cafeteria.
“Remind me why you’re friends with a bunch of underclassmen?”
“I’m friends with everyone, El. Besides, Rafeal a Junior.”
“Why is it crying .”
“That's what babies do, they cry.” Nick said, chewing on his sandwich as he watched Rafeal suffer.
“For fuck sakes, its fake!”
“Don’t swear in front of the baby!” Mike butted in.
“Shut. Up.” Rafeal pouted
Sonny sighed and stood up
“Hand here, Rafe.”
“Thank you.” Rafael plopped down next to Nick and watched as he fed the robot baby a fake bottle.
“So that’s the guy you wanna fuck?” Nick deadpanned, Rafael spat out his milk in shock.
“Why did you say that so loud!?” He Whispered loudly. Nick shrugged and motioned for Sonny to come over. Rafeal scooted in closer to Nick and leaned up to his ear, “You say anything I’ll fucking kill you.” Nick smirked “ No te preocupes, amigo. No diré nada.” (No worries, My friend. I won’t say a thing.) Sonny padded over, rocking the robot baby.
“What’s up?” Sonny chirped
“Are you and Mike fucking?” Nick said blankly, both Sonny and Rafeal went wide eyed, Mike even turned around, shocked.
“E-Excuse me?” Sonny didn’t know how to respond to that.
“Where the hell did you get that idea from?” Mike stood up to sit closer to the trio. All of them were taken aback by Mike’s choice of words. Typically, Mike was the type to replace words such “fuck” with “fudge” or “frick”. In short, to get Mike Dodds to swear, you must had said, or did, something really fucked up.
“I don’t know, you guys seem really close. And with the both of you being gay and all…”
“Bi.” Sonny corrected
“Yeah, bi, sorry. Look, all I’m saying is that it’s really easy to assume you guys are.” Nick threw up his hands and shrugged.
“Well. We’re not.” Mike said sternly.
“Yeah, Mike is not even my type.”
“And Sonny isn’t mine either.” Mike added.
Nick rosed a brow, he leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the table.
“So, what is your type?”
As Sonny opened his mouth to answer, the bell rang, summoning them to their next class.
“Saved by the bell, you guys got lucky.” He said, but they were long gone. Rafael and Nick started gathering their own things,
“Hey Nick.”
“Yeah, Rafa?”
“You never did tell me it’s name” he pointed at the baby carrier that held their fake baby.
“ Her name is Zara, and you’re taking her to your next class. I got a test for AP bio and I need to use my study hall time wisely.” He handed Rafael the carrier and a small bag full of fake babies supplies. Rafael barely got a word out before Nick ran off,
“What am I supposed to do with it -I mean- her!” He shouted after Nick.
“There should be a manual in her carrier!” He shouted back before merging into the crowd, leaving Rafael with the robot child. Rafeal shook his head and picked up the carrier.
“Alright, let’s do this you little shit.”
As if it understood, the baby immediately started letting out prerecorded cries. Rafael groaned and picked up the thing, trying to mimic what Sonny was doing earlier. “This is going to be a long day.”