Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Wings caught the air, moving methodically over the gentle breeze as they travelled towards the treeline in the distance. The morning sunlight caught against charcoal-colored feathers, a shadow mimicking the fluid beats of the wings. The soft song escaped from the bird’s throat, drawing the attention of a man just below.

His hand raised to shield his eyes from the sun, squinting to see the small creature dart into the cover of the evergreen trees. It filled him with a sense of sadness, to see the wings that carried it effortlessly through the air. He wondered, briefly, if he had made the right decision to condemn himself to solitude. How was his last remaining friend faring? Had he made amends, was he helping rebuild? Word had long since reached his ears through the whispers on the biting wind that L’Manberg was set to rise again. To fill the crater, and to rebuild overtop of the scar that marred the landscape. His hand dropped back to his side, slipping beneath a cloak of deep maroon. The fur sewn onto the fabric brushed against the skin of his cheek as he turned his head, continuing on his path into the forest.

The pale azure that clung to his frame helped him blend into his surroundings. He had long since abandoned the bright reds, the vibrant and uninterrupted golds- his new home was softer around the edges, and so was he. The little armor he retained was for his own peace of mind, and it was far from strong enough to protect against much of anything except the occasional mobs that traversed the landscape. A blend of pale blue and white made up his shirt, fastened at his waist and flaring slightly around a sash of red deep enough it could be mistaken for black.

The only remnants of the previously flashy attire he retained were the glittering golden chains and clasps that held his cloak on his shoulders and gentle accents around the stiff leather near his biceps. His crown had been lost to the river upon his arrival, and he had not obtained a new one. Maybe it was his subconscious telling him he did not deserve it.

His fingers curled tighter around the shaft of his trident, the end meeting the earth methodically as he walked, his boots leaving imprints in the snow. He hadn’t traveled this way yet, and he wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for. Anything of interest, maybe? Just some clean air? He was in the tundra, all of the air was clean air.

The trees slowly thinned, and his footsteps halted as he came to the edge of the land. He hadn’t seen this- not from this perspective. The ocean stretched out before him, uninterrupted and as vast as everything he had ever known. He glanced down, digging his heel into the ground and dragging it a few inches- as he had suspected, it was sand. He stood on a small bank of sand, a steady slope down towards the still waters. Most of it was covered in a sheet of ice, and a rather thick one. He didn’t suspect it ever got warm enough to melt.

A soft chirp met his ears, some distant sound of nature emanating through the usually silent air. He stood for some time, basking in the frigid breeze, and staring out at the line of the horizon. In his brief “retirement” experience so far, he found it was much easier to lose himself in simpler moments.

His trident dug into the sand as he leaned some of his weight against it. For a moment it was not a weapon at all. Instead, it served as a walking stick clutched between his fingers. But the facade would always fade, and he would always remember the edge of the blade and the twang of the bowstring. He would always see the battlefield, overlapping with the image of the ocean. Flat and uninterrupted dirt, trampled and flooded with sanguine.

He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head to rid himself of that image, a soft, frustrated exhale turning visible against the air. Pink fell into his vision, a strand of hair escaping from behind his ear and blocking the line of his sight. He furrowed his eyebrows, reaching back to comb his fingertips through his hair and pull it all back into a haphazard bun, tugging the silk band off of his wrist and into the jumbled, rose-colored mess. He fussed with it for a few moments until it stayed in place, the frustration only growing in his gut. Nothing was cooperating with him right now.

He glanced back towards the ice crusted on top of the water, his breath catching in his throat. For a moment he could see the glassy surface stained crimson. He turned away before he could see anything else, and when his paranoia forced him to look again, he found nothing but a frozen wasteland and a thin layer of powdered snow. He let out a shuddering breath, attempting to quell the brief surge of panic. Decades of violence and condemning the earth to blood-soaked soil seemed to be catching up to him. Once he finally stepped away, it chased him down and closed its jaws around his throat to drag him back no matter how much he protested.

It seemed entirely unfair that the desire to escape what plagued him only brought it back upon him in droves. He reached up to touch the skin of his neck, almost as a reassurance to himself that he was unchained, that he was free.

He ripped his eyes away from the sea, ducking his head beneath a branch to follow his footsteps back home. As far as he was concerned, that was enough adventuring for today. His mind was wandering too far to attempt much more at the time being.

After just a few minutes of his boots sinking into the snow, just beside footprints he made previously, the trees opened up to a combination of hills and plains swelling all across the line of the horizon. Set in the center of one of these plains was a building made of stone and wood, a cabin of sorts. Smoke curled out of the chimney, the faint orange glow of the fireplace peeking around the edges of the windows. He reached for the latch on the basement door, interrupted by a tug on his cloak.

“Carl!” He let out a surprised yelp, stumbling backwards a step when the cloak was unexpectedly pulled on. The horse promptly let go of the fabric, ears swiveling to face Techno as he lifted his head. The man sighed, but a smile quickly spread across his face. He reached out, and the horse bumped its nose against his outstretched palm, allowing him to rub Carl’s nose for a moment and then reach back to pet up and down his neck. Carl hooked his head over Techno’s shoulder, nibbling at the fur of his cloak contentedly.

“Stop eating my clothes-” He tried to complain, but couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed at the creature. He shoved at the side of Carl’s neck- there was no force behind the gesture, just a playful push. A sturdy horse would likely not even feel it, especially not through the thick blanket laid across his body. Carl gave one last defiant huff, biting at Techno’s hair and yanking on one of the loose strands before turning away.

“Why do I keep you if you just bully me?” he questioned, but was met only by a swish of Carl’s tail. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, finally able to pull the door open and step into his home. The walls were still barren, he noticed once he ascended the short ladder from the basement entrance, various chests scattered along the back wall and a few essential tools accompanying. His focus had been on getting himself set up for the time being- a few weeks worth of work, with the help of some villagers from a nearby town. Now that the construction was finished it felt… empty. Glaringly so. It was a home, it was his and only his, but the blank white walls and the plain stone were uncomfortable at best. It was missing something.

Companionship, perhaps. Even when he had been working on his previous base, he had Tommy and Will to return to at the ravine. Now, there was nowhere to go, nobody to see. The villagers were vaguely afraid of the stranger that used a trident as a walking stick, and tended to avoid him unless he was paying them for their help. Carl was- well, a horse. Horses were fantastic to have around, loyal, hardworking, but they didn’t exactly fulfil the social aspect of the scale.

Talking to himself and listening for a reply could only last him so long.

He could think of several things he missed, back in L’Manberg- the people, of course, but that was something he could not repair. He had long since accepted he was not welcome, so he turned his attention towards something much more achievable. He could revisit his base, perhaps? Gather some items he could still salvage, that hadn’t been looted now that it was no longer particularly secret. If nothing else, it would at least take his mind elsewhere for a short while. Provide some respite from how empty the tundra could be.

He smoothed down his clothes, thinking about what he would have to bring for such a trip. What had taken him several days to walk would take Carl only one, so he needed enough for three days, at most, accounting for interruptions in the journey.

He gathered some basic items, and left plenty of room for what he would acquire once he reached his base. It was still early enough to embark today, and if Carl was quick on his feet they would arrive just before nightfall. If not, he was sure they could find some temporary shelter for the night. Nothing he hadn’t subjected himself to before.

His decision to take this little adventure was rather impromptu, but he had nobody around to stop him. He was growing restless, it wasn’t often he had an extended period without some task or ultimatum to work towards. He ventured back outside, pulling Carl’s saddle off of the wall where it hung and approaching the gate of his cozy little stall.

Some time later, he was finally able to lift himself into the saddle, settling into the leather seat and reaching down to pat the side of the horse’s neck.

“Alright, boy, let’s get going. Time for a change of scenery.”

His legs ached when they touched the ground again, stiff from hours of sitting in the same position. He hesitated to take his first few steps, but sunk back into a more comfortable state once he did so. Around him was a familiar landscape, trees he had passed before and, for some time, thought he might never pass again. He hooked Carl’s reins onto a low-hanging branch, only anticipating that he would be occupied for a short time and would quickly be able to return.

He found the entrance to the base with ease, a practiced motion as he dropped down with the ladder as assistance. It was only a few moments before there was blackstone beneath the soles of his boots. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he looked around. He had been right in assuming people would not be kind to his belongings- he found there was significantly less here than when he had abandoned this place. Trivial things went missing- it was clear this had been determined in the public domain at some point or another.

He rifled through the various chests, taking something of value or use on occasion and placing it into the small leather satchel he had brought. Some emeralds- convenient currency- and minerals he could easily use for something or other. His feet carried him to the back room, to the small little farm of sugarcane and nether wart, and knelt beside the trough of water. He rolled up his sleeve, reaching down to dig out a small chest and pulling it onto the surface beside him. They hadn’t quite found this, at the very least. Potion making supplies and a few more personal items joined the leather satchel, and he dropped the chest back into the water.

“Techno?”

He felt like someone kicked him in the chest- his heart rate exploded and he let out a startled shout, turning quickly and pressing himself against the wall as his breaths came in short pants. Once he identified the figure in the doorway his eyes slipped closed and he focused on taking deep breaths.

“Sorry, mate,” the voice met his ears again, accompanied by a soft laugh. His eyes opened, and he shot a glare at Phil. The man put his hands up as if to surrender, but there was a smile on his face regardless.

“What are you doing here?” Techno finally asked, and Phil responded with a shrug, stepping to the side as Techno walked forward and entered the main room. He found a chair propped against the wall, pulling it out towards the center of the room and sitting down. Phil followed suit, spinning his chair backwards so his wings weren’t pinned against his back rather uncomfortably.

“I was passing by and saw the horse, diamond horse armor isn’t the most stealthy thing in the world, you know. What about you- why did you come back?”

Techno thought for a moment, leaning his elbows against his knees. He didn’t necessarily need to come back, did he? Change of scenery, maybe some materials, but it wasn’t essential. He had been lonely before he left, perhaps it was his brain’s subconscious way of hoping he would encounter someone. He tried to push that thought to the back of his mind, shaking his head.

“Just needed to grab some stuff, is all.” He settled on that, but could tell based on Phil’s eyebrow quirk that the man didn’t buy it even for a second.

“You- funky magic man- came all the way back here just for a few things we both know you could collect in 2 days?”

Techno couldn’t help his snort at the nickname. Phil was- well, the only person who was even vaguely familiar with his status. Other than dream, that is. Even then, Phil didn’t know the entire story. He knew Techno couldn’t be completely human, judging solely based on how they met, but he didn’t quite pressure the subject. He only teased him about it occasionally, and treated him quite normally aside from that.

“What do you want me to tell you? I got bored? I don’t know, Phil.”

“Looks like someone realized being the lone wolf isn’t too fun after all?” Phil stood up from his chair, readjusting his wings as he did so and moving to stand behind Techno. “Sit up- you’re tense,” he mumbled, pulling the silk out of Techno’s hair and undoing the haphazard, lopsided bun. He quickly separated the hair into a few parts, getting to work on twisting it into a braid. The man’s shoulders relaxed as he leaned backwards. He had always liked getting his hair done for him.

“How is L’Manberg?” Techno broke the silence, Phil’s hands pausing in his hair for a heartbeat.

“They’re rebuilding. Tommy’s been causing some problems, though. He’s starting to get on Dream’s bad side.”

“That sounds like Tommy, alright.”

“They might exile him, this time.”

Techno’s rigid posture returned in an instant, and he would have turned to stare at Phil had it not been for the unfinished braid.

“Exile- he’s a kid! Can’t you stop them?”

There was a moment of silence before the sound of a tired sigh.

“No. He’s made too many enemies, Dream told me if I interfere he would take it out on you and Tubbo. He doesn’t like me being in the city.”

“Then leave.”

Phil finished with the braid, returning the silk band to its place. As soon as he could tell it was done, Techno shot to his feet and turned around, his hands gripping Phil’s shoulders.

“You could come with me!” He continued his previous suggestion with a large degree of enthusiasm. “If they don’t want you here- I just finished a little home, it’s big enough for two people.”

Phil lifted his hands to settle it over Techno’s, gently pulling them away to hold between the two of them.

“I can visit for a little while, but I can’t stay. You realize I still have everything here- Tubbo and Tommy, new friends, a goal to work towards.”

Techno couldn’t help the way his face fell, but he nodded regardless. Having Phil visit- it wasn’t what he wanted, but he supposed it would do for now. Maybe one day he would move closer, but all Techno could do was hold out hope.

“Yeah… a visit sounds nice.”

Their path home was rather uneventful. Phil had grabbed some food and supplies from his home in L’Manberg, and they set out on their brief little adventure. It was a 2 day endeavor, if they moved through some of the nighttime, in places that monsters were scarce. They talked about nothing and everything all at once, and sometimes travelled for hours in silence. It would have been faster if Techno could ride Carl instead of leading him, and Phil could fly, but Phil’s wings were still too damaged to take flight. They acquiesced, taking it boots on the ground like trips in a younger year. When Will and Tommy ran ahead of them on their way into town, and pretended to play fight with sticks.

They descended the hill towards his home on the dusk of the second day, having taken a brisk pace and a more optimal path than when Techno had first endeavored here. He situated Carl, giving him more food and time to rest before he led Phil inside and lit a fire in the fireplace so warmth could begin to radiate through the room. Phil rubbed his hands together, shivering from the temperature until the fireplace could catch up.

In no time at all the home reached a semblance of comfort, and he was able to cook some meat over the fire for their dinner. They ate, once again, in silence, but it was comfortable. A familiar silence, one that did not need to be broken. Phil’s wings drooped behind him, slightly spread in a relaxed manner that Techno had learned over the years signified fatigue.

“There’s a spare bed up the ladder- the one with white covers.”

Phil nodded, pushing himself to his feet with a grunt and following Techno’s instructions. The man smiled- Phil must have been tired, to be so mindless as he went upstairs. After such a journey, he didn’t blame him.

After a few moments he pushed the door open and descended the few steps, his feet leaving indents in the snow. The night was still young, and he had a short time until he was tired enough to sleep. On nights like this, he often liked to sit and look up at the stars, to remember kinder times, more bountiful company.

He sat in the snow on the bank of a river just a short walk from his home. The water was partially iced over, and he couldn’t see what he suspected was sand lining the riverbank. He leaned back on his hands, tipping his head to look skywards and feeling the biting breeze across his skin.

He remembered, briefly, the way he had entered this world he had long been stranded in. It was not unlike this scenario now- on the bank of a river, surrounded by solitude and nature. That had been warm, and now it was cold, but the cold seemed much softer. Perhaps it was because of what he had learned here? He favored the snow making his fingertips go numb than blazing sand that held too much opportunity and room for mistakes. So much had been expected of him then, and so much he had failed to deliver

So yes, he preferred the bitter cold when it meant he had no eyes upon his every move, no expectations to shatter and sweep away.

He laid back completely in the snow, watching as Polaris flickered in the night sky. It had been long enough that he was forced to accept this was where he was going to stay. He had no clue if he was intended to return to his old friends, his old body and mind, his old power. But he knew he had no control over it, so he chose to turn away from feeling pity for what he no longer had.

He reached up, extending a hand towards the sky and letting it fall back to his side after a moment.

On the opposite side of the riverbank, the great bear stood once again. It’s fur was brown and deep, but as it watched the man reach towards the heavens the color bled into a gentle white, one that blended in with its surroundings. It traversed the ice in the place it was the most sturdy, huffing and grumbling as he drew closer. The man sat up and started at it, seemingly startled but intrigued nonetheless. Once he realized the bear would not harm him, he drew closer, holding his hand out until it met with the thick fur on the top of the bear’s head. It pressed closer to the touch, as if familiar.

“Hey there- hi,” he mumbled, stroking the fur for a moment before eventually turning to leave. The bear followed until it stood at the base of the steps, the man’s hand on the door as he looked back to see the creature still following him.

“Oh, you want to be friends? Alright-” he paused, thinking. “-Steve. Sure. I’m gonna go to bed, Steve, feel free to do… bear things.”

The bear huffed in response, watching the man pull the door closed behind him and eventually lying down in the snow. It was a thing of legend, books written in the honor of the shape it formed with other celestial bodies in the inky blackness of the sky. To be reduced to a bear named Steve was an interesting change, but Polaris supposed it was worthwhile to stay close to an old friend in need of some company. It laid its head down in the powdery snow, eyes closing to fall into a soft slumber as the stars looked down upon its back with curiosity, eager to see what was to wander in their direction.

The young god whose power had forsaken him sat on the edge of his bed, looking over at his last lingering friend who was asleep across the room. For the first time in his life- a rather short one, in the eyes of the heavens and the skies he had been born from- he found that he had no wars to fight. His hand shook, sometimes, when he reached for something. His nightmares woke him in the middle of the night gasping for breath, his memories plagued him from day to day. But in the somber silence of the tundra he was able to relax, and he was able to begin to heal in ways he never thought that he needed to.

He knew this peace would not last forever, it couldn’t, but for now he could enjoy some brief company and pretend to be sitting in Phil’s old cabin, surrounded by a better time.