Chapter Text
The Qi deviation was dangerous and life-threatening but it wasn’t fatal.
Liu Qingge survived with bruised meridians and a shaken sense of self. A couple of bumps and cuts as well but those weren’t important.
(He was supposed to protect, he wasn’t supposed to hurt.)
Shen Qingqiu’s wounds were more severe, they’d required immediate medical care. The most serious was the stab wound in his shoulder.
In a different world, the sword would’ve cut his brachial artery and punctured his lung. In a different world, he would’ve died a slow death, bleeding out while his cultivation futilely tried to heal him.
But this wasn't a different world and it was a kinder one. Shen Qingqiu survived.
Shen Qingqiu survived. He survived but Liu Qingge wasn't allowed to visit him in the infirmary and Liu Qingge wished he could take his love’s place.
But he couldn’t, he couldn’t do anything.
He couldn’t protect his husband, he couldn’t take away his pain, he couldn’t even cultivate properly for gods’ sake.
The only thing he could do was wait.
He’d wait forever if it meant he got to see his Qingqiu for just a minute more.
Shen Qingqiu was asleep for four days before he woke up. Well, he opened his eyes and immediately fell back asleep.
But the sleep was natural and wasn’t a medically induced coma, so he was declared to be recovering.
Liu Qingge still wasn’t allowed to see him.
But that was okay, he could wait.
Because his husband was safe and nothing else really mattered.
It didn’t matter that he ached to hold his husband again, ached to just be near him because that wasn’t what his Qingqiu needed.
His Qingqiu needed peace and Liu Qingge had hurt him so he couldn’t be there. Not yet. Not until Mu-shidi said he could.
Mu-shidi was one of the best doctors in the world, Liu Qingge trusted him. And so he listened. And he waited.
“Shizun! Shizun, there’s an urgent message from Qian Cao, they said Shen-shibo was asking for you.”
Liu Qingge was running before the disciple even finished his sentence.
He’d made it to Qian Cao in record time.
Liu Qingge saw his husband, sitting up in the simple robes offered to the patients at Mu-shidi’s peak.
His husband had never looked more beautiful.
(That was a lie of course, but Liu Qingge always thought his husband looked more beautiful with every passing moment.)
“Qingge.”
His love’s tone was still so fond. Still filled with love Liu Qingge didn’t deserve.
(Liu Qingge had hurt him.)
Shen Qingqiu extended his good hand, holding it out to his husband. “Come here.”
Liu Qingge’s steps were staggered at first before they gained stability. He walked slowly, holding himself back from rushing to his love’s side, but even then he ended up speed walking.
Liu Qingge reached out to hold the hand offered to him, projecting his movements all the while.
He didn’t do anything else, didn’t even look into Shen Qingqiu’s eyes.
(He couldn’t. He couldn’t look into those eyes and see fear or hate, that would break him.
But looking into those eyes and seeing the same love and trust would ruin him because he didn’t deserve it.
He’d hurt his Qingqiu.)
A single tear fell on Shen Qingqiu’s hand, a single tear that released the floodgates of Liu Qingge’s eyes.
Liu Qingge didn’t bawl, didn’t sob, didn’t move. He stood stock-still, as if he was afraid of breaking his husband’s hand by breathing incorrectly.
The tears continued to flow, steadily dripping down Liu Qingge’s face.
“Oh, my love. Come here,” said Shen Qingqiu, gesturing to the space on his bed.
Liu Qingge still didn’t move, not until Shen Qingqiu tugged on his hand.
Liu Qingge gently set himself down on the bed, being careful not to jostle Shen Qingqiu.
At the end of the adjustment, Shen Qingqiu’s head was on Liu Qingge’s chest, tucked away under his chin. Their legs were entangled, with Shen Qingqiu almost being on top of Liu Qingge.
Liu Qingge let out a shuddering breath. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Liu Qingge dissolved into tears once more, harsher sobs ripping from his chest.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I hurt you.”
Shen Qingqiu lightly kissed Liu Qingge’s cheek. “You never meant to.”
Liu Qingge couldn’t respond, his voice was too choked by tears.
“You were trying to protect me, did you know that?”
Liu Qingge didn’t know that and he didn’t understand. He’d hurt his husband, how could he have been protecting him?
“You don’t remember, do you? You were trying to protect me, Qingge. That’s what caught my attention in the first place, you were screaming my name.”
(Shen Qingqiu never wanted to hear his husband scream like that again.
The sheer desperation and fear in his voice was going to haunt him till the end of time.)
“You just didn’t recognize me, that’s all. You were in the throes of Qi Deviation. It wasn’t your fault.”
Liu Qingge buried his nose in his husband’s hair. It didn’t matter that he’d meant to protect him, he’d still hurt his husband. That was unforgivable. That was his fault.
“You don’t believe me, do you? You don’t believe me when I say that it wasn’t your fault.”
Liu Qingge just pressed a kiss to Shen Qingqiu’s hair.
Shen Qingqiu sighed. “That’s okay, I’ll tell you it wasn’t your fault until you believe me.”
“Thank you. For staying alive.”
Shen Qingqiu pressed a kiss to Liu Qingge’s nose. “I promised, didn’t I?”
They fell asleep like that, cuddled around each other in a protective embrace.
Mobei Jun wouldn’t be winning this fight, not while Shen Qingqiu could still wield Xiu Ya.
Shen Qingqiu knew what he had to do in the short term, protect his disciple, but he didn’t know what he was going to do after.
Because there was going to be an after, he’d promised his husband that he would survive and he wouldn’t break his promise, and that meant he was going to have to deal with his demonic disciple.
Oh, how Shen Qingqiu wished he’d waited before sending Luo Binghe to the Conference.
At least he would’ve had more time to plan around Luo Binghe’s heritage.
But that didn’t matter right now, there was a duckling behind him that needed protection.
Shen Qingqiu didn’t think about the abyss, about how it was the only way to get his disciple out of this situation safely. He didn’t think about the horrors of it plaguing the child that had come to his peak with guileless, starry eyes.
That was a future Shen Qingqiu problem, one he’d face if he survived this encounter with Mobei Jun so it had no importance to him at that moment.
So, Shen Qingqiu fought on.
Mobei Jun was shocked by how powerful the Peak Lord in front of him was.
He’d known the Qing Jing Peak Lord was strong, had heard Shang Qinghua ramble about him for ages.
He’d been slightly jealous at first, Shang Qinghua was his human, but he’d gotten over it when he’d seen their relationship first hand.
(Mobei Jun was not stalking his human, he was supervising. There was a difference.)
It was like watching a hamster prance around a panther. Except the hamster was also somehow the childish older brother.
Their bond was familial, which made no sense considering they didn’t share blood.
(That entire mountain of humans made no sense, they referred to each other as siblings and uncles and aunts and parents, and yet none of them were related.
Sure, some disciples came from the same family but there was no blood relation that extended to everyone and it didn’t make sense. )
Mobei Jun had gotten used to it though, had even seen its uses.
Shen Qingqiu was powerful and cunning. He’d destroy anyone who hurt the people he protected. At least, he’d try to.
And Shang Qinghua was one of those people, which pleased Mobei Jun.
That was the only reason he didn't try to kill Shen Qingqiu, severely maim sure, but not kill.
This made their fight harder because Shen Qinqgiu has no such reservations and would gladly chop his head off.
Mobei Jun needed his head, he wasn’t like Meng Mo.
However, Mobei Jun wasn’t a demon lord for no reason.
Shen Qingqiu fell. It took a while but he fell and the abyss was still open.
(Shen Qingqiu was extremely thankful for Qian Cao and their treatments for head injuries.
Qian Cao Peak on the other hand was also extremely grateful for the hands-on practice for treating said head injuries.)
The brat was the only one left after Shen Qingqiu lost his consciousness, the brat Shang Qinghua was interested in.
(Mobei Jun didn’t know whether Shang Qinghua hated Luo Binghe, liked him, or was scared of him.
He didn’t think Shang Qinghua knew either. )
“I’d advise you to jump into the abyss if you want to keep your head.”
“What have you done to my Shizun?!”
“He’ll survive. You won’t if you don’t jump.”
Luo Binghe ignored him, focusing on his unconscious Shizun.
He couldn’t ignore him for long however, not when he knew the demon was correct.
Luo Binghe was a demon, well half-demon, and demons had attacked the conference.
Luo Binghe had been a hardworking Qing Jing disciple, he was smart enough to know the consequences of those facts.
Luo Binghe had to jump, but only after someone came to safeguard his Shizun.
His Shizun had provided him with everything. His Shizun had given him food, shelter, an education, a chance to cultivate. Luo Binghe owed him everything.
His room was given to him by his Shizun and his family was given to him by his Shizun.
(Because his martial siblings were his family, even if they could all be mean sometimes.
Ning-shijie was his family, his soft-hearted but strong older sister. Ming-shixiong was his stuffy, uptight brother, and his Shizun was his savior. )
It didn’t matter that his Shizun was strict or demanding. It didn’t matter that he had high expectations that were almost impossible to reach, it didn’t matter. Because his Shizun was kind. His Shizun was never nice but he was kind.
So Luo Binghe would jump when his Shizun was safe. If that meant he would die, then so be it.
Luo Binghe didn’t die.
He’d jumped when he heard his Liu-shishu nearby, calling anxiously for his husband.
Luo Binghe jumped and he survived in the Endless Abyss.
“Why didn’t you come back, Luo Binghe?”
Shen Qingqiu couldn’t think clearly, not over the blood rushing to his head.
His dead disciple was standing in front of him. The disciple that had died due to his incompetence. The disciple he had failed.
The disciple who was standing in front of him, as healthy as a horse.
“I-I wanted to Shizun, I did, but I had to stay at Huan Hua for a while to get some resources, and then I couldn’t leave. ”
“Why?”
(Shen Qingqiu could think of many reasons. Most of them had to do with his incompetence.
He’d failed his disciple but had he failed his disciple to the point where he thought Huan Hua was in any way competent?)
“T-the Old Palace Master was always insisting on taking me in as a disciple, of course, I said no each time Shizun, I would never betray you.” Luo Binghe looked scandalized even as he hurried to reassure Shen Qingqiu. “But his actions were really weird, an-and Shizun always told me to think and understand before doing anything, s-so I thought I would stay longer to u-understand. B-but that just led to more questions and I could never leave because I hadn’t understood-”
“Breathe, Binghe.”
“I’m sorry! I wanted to come back to Shizun, you have to believe me.”
Shen Qingqiu moved his hand to lightly pat his disciple’s head. He was just glad that he hadn’t ruined his disciple to the point where he thought Huan Hua was ever an acceptable alternative.
“Mmm, now tell this old teacher what you found, and let’s see if I can help.”
Luo Binghe took a shaky breath, blinking back his tears. “S-shizun, do you know of anyone named Su Xiyan-”
Qiu Haitang hated. She hated the sunshine that followed the death of her family, hated the rose blooms that had welcomed her, hated the prison that had seen her family’s last moments. She hated.
She used to love, she used to be kind and naive. She used to love and now she hates.
The thing she hated the most was the Liu Family.
Oh, they were said to be kind and righteous but only Qiu Haitang knew about their twisted core.
She was the only one who knew about how they used their power to kill and imprison truly righteous people.
Her honorable father and brother had been slain by their wicked blades, left to rot in a destitute jail cell for eternity.
They hadn’t even done anything to deserve the wrath of the Liu Family, they’d only ever intended to help people in need, even when those people were just slaves.
(Her brother was truly so kind. She remembered him taking particular care of a slave boy they’d had. That one was particularly clumsy.
Xiao Jiu was always getting hurt one way or another but he’d had the most beautiful eyes she could remember. It was a pity the Liu Family destroyed the Qiu Family, maybe Xiao Jiu could’ve been her friend.)
The Liu Family was truly detestable and Qiu Haitang hated them.
So imagine her surprise when she saw the little slave boy she’d known standing next to the treacherous Bai Zhan Peak Lord, Liu Qingge.
“Xiao Jiu? Are you Xiao Jiu?”
Qiu Haitang saw the man’s eyes widen, saw those jade-lavender eyes and she knew.
“It is you, Xiao Jiu!” said Qiu Haitang in tones of wonder.
“Is the young lady acquainted with Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu?”
The blood drained out of Qiu Haitang’s face. “Peak Lord? Xiao Jiu, is that true?”
Qiu Haitang knew who Peak Lord Shen Qinqqiu was, everyone who was anyone in the cultivational world knew who the Qing Jing Peak Lord was.
Qiu Haitang knew that his work was highly respected, for good reason too, and she knew that his talents were the stuff of legends. She also knew that the Qing Jing Peak Lord was married to Liu Qingge.
She’d always pitied the Qing Jing Peak Lord, had always thought it was a waste to have him marry scum like Liu Qingge.
She’d never known that Shen Qingqiu was Xiao Jiu.
“You have to get away from him! Xiao Jiu get away from him!”
Shen Qingqiu didn’t know what to do.
He’d been accused by the Old Palace Master of abuse, treachery, and lechery. He’d been accused of essentially being scum.
(“Shizun is the best and I will rip out your throat if you even imply otherwise, Lao Gongzhu!” said Luo Binghe, minutes away from committing homicide.
............
“It is a well-known fact that Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu frequently visits brothels!”
“Well, how else is he supposed to meet his grandmother? She’s getting on in her age, Shen-shixiong can’t expect her to make the trip to Cang Qiong every time.”
The Huan Hua disciple who’d spoken out was extremely flustered. “W-well why doesn’t he just buy her freedom then?!”
“She doesn’t want him to! I’ve personally seen Shen-shixiong try and convince her to leave except stubbornness is a familial trait and she wouldn’t be deterred from ‘taking care of her girls’.”
............
“What kind of idiot even believes their enemies over their own allies?!”
“The Lao Gongzhu kind,” said Shen Qingqiu, who really couldn’t help himself.)
It’d been quite a fun day actually until Miss Qiu had shown up.
The fact that she was warning him to get away from someone was mildly concerning, which was too bad considering the chaotically hilarious evening he’d been having.
“Forgive this one, but who exactly am I supposed to flee from?”
“Liu Qingge, of course!”
Liu Qingge was feeling wronged. “What did I do?”
“Your entire family is full of treacherous and arrogant people, strutting about and flaunting their power.” Qiu Haitang’s face which had been blood red gentled when she faced Shen Qingqiu. “Xiao Jiu, you mustn't be naive anymore, I know it might be hard to understand but your husband is a bad man from a bad family! You must get away from him!”
Shen Qingqiu didn’t understand how anyone could put ‘naive’ and ‘Xiao Jiu’ in the same sentence with a straight face. For that matter, how could anyone put ‘bad man’ and ‘Liu Qingge’ in the same sentence?!
(Shen Qingqiu was almost impressed by Miss Qiu’s ability to keep a straight face through her absurd lies.)
The general public was just tired of these nonsense accusations, first the ones slung at the Qing Jing Peak Lord and next at the Bai Zhan Peak Lord.
The accusations didn’t even try to seem real, becoming more absurd as time went on.
Honestly? The Liu Family? Being anything but noble? What a joke!
“I’m afraid you’ve been mistaken,” said Shen Qingqiu in a glacial voice.
Shen Qingqiu could deal with anything, but he refused to let people slander his loved ones.
“Xiao Jiu, I unders-”
“My name is Shen Qingqiu. You would do well to remember it.”
Qiu Haitang was frustrated by the mulish expression on Xiao Jiu’s face. She was trying to help him damn it, why was he getting mad at her?!
“Alright fine, Shen Qingqiu. ” Qiu Haitang’s face showed her incredulity at that name. “The Liu Family is dishonorable to a fault and I’m trying to help- ”
Shen Qingqiu scoffed and turned away.
“I am. Would you listen to me Xiao Jiu?! The Liu Family is-”
“That. Is. Not. My. Husband’s. Name.”
“How dare you! I was speaking to Xiao Jiu, not some treacherous scu-”
“ I suggest you don’t finish that sentence. That is not my name and you have no right to insult my husband.”
(Xiao Jiu remembered Miss Qiu.
Xiao Jiu remembered her kind words and soft hands.
Shen Qingqiu remembered her willfulness and her ignorance. Her disregard for anyone that didn’t interest her. Shen Qingqiu remembered the beatings he’d faced because of her.
Shen Qingqiu remembered but he didn’t hate Qiu Haitang.
He didn’t have any sort of opinion on her actually.
However, he did have opinions about people hurting the ones he loved. And Qiu Haitang was trying to hurt his husband.
So while Shen Qingqiu didn’t particularly care about Qiu Haitang, he would eviscerate her if it meant his husband wouldn’t get hurt.)
“No right?! No right?! His family killed my brother and my father! I have every right-”
Shen Qingqiu scoffed. “Even if that was true they’d be doing the world a favor.”
Qiu Haitang hadn’t expected that, hadn’t expected that Xiao Jiu would disregard her family.
Qiu Haitang’s voice was extremely shrill when she spoke. “ How could you?! We took you in, we gave you food, we sheltered you-”
Shen Qingqiu scoffed. “Your family was the reason 6 children committed suicide in a single year, your family was the reason your old wet nurse walked with a permanent limp, your family was the reason the street kids were all wary of adults and their beds-”
“That’s not true, sto-”
“The entire town was scared of them, entire families were destroyed because of your brother, they deserved what they got.”
“Stop it! Stop lying-”
“The only person lying is you. Your family was gutter trash and I hope they rot in hell.”
Liu Qingge really shouldn’t have found the trial to be as fun as it was.
His Qingqiu was starting to influence him. Soon, he’d start defenestrating himself to avoid responsibility.
(Liu Qingge would never let that go no matter how much Shen Qingqiu pouted.
The pouting was his motivation. )
But honestly, the utter farce of a trial was hilarious to witness.
The way every single accusation was brutally dismissed, the way the Old Palace Master was thoroughly humiliated, the way his martial siblings defended his husband was one of his best memories.
(The way his husband defended Liu Qingge himself, burning with righteous fury and indignation, made Liu Qingge’s knees unsteady.
That was also one of his favorite moments.)
The trial was hilarious but it was also over and with it came a sense of utter relief.
(It was almost like those feelings he’d had in his childhood, except less intense.)
Liu Qingge had dreaded this mission, had feared it with every fiber of his being.
It reminded him uncomfortably of his time in the Ling Xi caves, the utter terror that had invaded his every sense.
A metaphorical weight had been lifted off of his shoulders when they’d returned to Cang Qiong.
Now if only his husband would act like a proper human being and go to sleep.
Real sleep, in their comfortable, warm, cozy bed, not the passing-out sleep that his husband seemed to favor.
Sleeping on top of a dozen sheets of parchment, with his hair splayed out over the table like ink in water, was not real sleep.
So why did his husband look comfortable?!
(There’d been a bet amongst the Peak Lords, back when they’d been disciples themselves, that Shen Qingqiu just simply did not have bones.)
Liu Qingge looked at his husband in defeated resignation before walking over to him. He took a moment to admire his love, lightly brushing his hair away from his face, before moving slowly to carry his husband.
Liu Qingge had just gotten his hands under Shen Qingqiu’s knees when the Qing Jing Peak Lord stirred.
“Qingge?” said Shen Qingqiu, still mostly asleep.
Liu Qingge didn’t stop moving, adjusting his hold to lift Shen Qingqiu from his desk. “Mmm.”
Shen Qinqgiy could feel the answer reverberate through his head from where it lay comfortably against Liu Qingge’s shoulder. It was enough for him to drift back into sleep, a small, contented smile blooming on his face.
Liu Qingge smiled in response, slowly moving to their bedroom, dimming the night pearls along the way.
He set down Shen Qingqiu first, covering him with blankets, before gently removing his head crown.
Shen Qingqiu immediately moved closer to him, burrowing into his embrace the moment Liu Qingge eased himself into their bed.
Liu Qingge pressed a soft kiss to his husband’s forehead, unable to contain the small grin that had formed on his face.
He drifted off to sleep with Shen Qingqiu in his arms.
Liu Qingge woke up and he was still Liu Qingge for a change.