Chapter Text
Faie stares mournfully at the drink in his hand because it is better than crushing it. There’s something boiling under his skin that he can’t put a name to. (He bets that Hound is able to, Hound who’s in his squad now, Hound who’s drinking with Faie’s squadmates right now.) The feeling boiling under his skin is unpleasant, and if Faie wasn’t so busy drinking to forget he feels it at all, Faie would be ashamed of it. Maybe.
Vos’ latest assignment had brought the two of them back to Coruscant under radio silence, but Faie had planned to drop in on the Guard today. He hadn’t been able to comm ahead because of the comm blackout that comes with radio silence, but Faie had foolishly assumed all three (four) of his workaholic batchmates would still be in the office then, and he’d have to drag them out to 79’s for midmeal.
Faie’s batchmates and Hound had already gone out for a meal as a squad. As a good, normal four-person squad. Because Faie isn’t really part of their squad, is he? He’s just playing with them, the way he and Neyo used to in front of Preist’s littles. Faking hope.
Faie drains his cup a little more forcefully than he really has to, but it does relieve a little bit of the feeling squirming inside him. He considers another round but decides against it. It’s probably to early to get drunk, less than half the day has gone by and the sun is visibly high in the sky outside the quiet bar’s one window. Faie runs his hand through his hair and digs around in one of the many pockets on his civilian pants for credits to pay. Faie misses his helmet and armor, but in order to be less conspicuous during their arrival, Vos had ordered Faie to leave it behind.
Faie tosses the credits to the barkeep on his way out, who responds by tossing a plasti container full of water to him. Faie appreciates it, he’ll have to remember this place. It isn’t 79’s, but that was kind of the point. Faie’s never felt comfortable there, not when he goes without his squad. It always feels like he’s intruding on a world he shouldn’t be welcome in, and he doesn’t want to force his way in. They don’t deserve to have a monster like him among them.
Thire’s voice sneaks into Faie’s mind, reminding him that when he feels like a monster, he should take some deep breaths and remember everyone who doesn’t think he’s a monster, and all the things he’s done that a monster wouldn’t do, and Faie does try.
But.
Why else would his place in his squad be gone? Someone else is with his squad because Priest took him and because ’83 knew that the vode who was taken away would never come back and reacted accordingly. And maybe the others have figured that out or have gotten tired of trying to make space in their squad for a monster of a fifth member and-
Someone collides with Faie’s back, snapping him out of his thoughts. He grabs his sidearm from its holster and spins around on instinct, grabbing the arm of his assailant and yanking it back, forcing his attacker off balance as Faie clicks off the safety of his gun and turns to see-
“Commander?” Senator Chuchi asks, hesitantly, and suddenly, the building rage and fear and go go go survive the next fight, see the next day recedes, and Faie drops her arm as fast as he can and fights the instinct he can’t understand to throw his blaster away, instead turning the safety back on and sliding it back into the holster.
“Senator- I- I’m sorry are you alright?” Faie asks, feeling tension shoot up his spine. No matter what has happened between the two of them in the past (that night Faie should have forgotten but can’t didn’t), Faie has seen Guards punished for less. Faie has been punished for less.
(The memories come bubbling back again. What he’s done. The things he’s been rewarded for, things so terrible, and what he’s been punished for, the so harmless in comparison.)
There’s a brush of something soft against his legs. It’s quick, but unlike anything one Kamino, and it pulls Faie out of his memories. Faie feels himself seize up to prepare to hit back whatever collided with him, but he buries that instinct. He’s made that mistake once today he cannot do it again. Cannot suffer the consequences of making the same mistake again.
Faie looks down. The softness was the long sleeve of the Senator’s dress brushing against his leg as she stood up. Faie hadn’t even noticed her fall. The dress is coruscant guard red with a hint of blue, Faie notes idly, and buries the portion of himself that wants to see her in his colors with the part of himself that remembers the last time they met.
o – o – o – o
Riyo looks up at the man she had run into, ready to chew him out. She might have startled him, but there was no need to attack her like that. As Riyo gets to her feet, she looks into his eyes though, and suddenly feels the need to chew him out drain out of her. For one, those eyes are very familiar. She hasn’t quite been able to put them out of her mind. Those uninformed might say they’re identical to the millions of other clones around the galaxy, but there is an intensity to Commander Faie’s eyes that Riyo doubts she’ll ever be able to forget.
She definitely doesn’t want to forget those eyes or the fun they had when they bailed (ha) out of Senator Organa’s party several months ago.
But there had been a liveliness to those beautiful eyes that night, where now there is only a cold terror. It twists in Riyo’s chest, settling there uncomfortably. The look in his eyes is the same one that Riyo used to see in her father’s eyes when he had one of his bad days after the Pantoran Civil War.
Acting on instinct, Riyo moves to help. She catches Commander Faie’s hand with hers, and when he doesn’t pull it away, turns the hand over in hers, careful and tender. His hand is larger than her and he’s clenching it into a tight fist. Gingerly, Riyo takes one of his fingers and opens it up out the fist.
“It’s alright, commander.” She says in a soft tone of voice, as close to the one her mother used with her father as she could make it go. Carefully, she reaches for another finger, gently uncurling it as well. As she does so, she can feel some of the tension draining out of his palm, the muscles relaxing. “It wasn’t your fault.” She can feel his whole arm tremble ever so slightly with that, so as she uncurls a third finger, she keeps following that line of thought. “You just reacted the way you were trained.”
Riyo pauses as she takes his fourth finger into her palms. There’s a scar that runs up the side of it that looks eerily like a bite mark. Like a small mouth bit his finger. But the scar is faded, it’s far to old for how long the war has been going on. In the unexpected quiet calm of her mind, Riyo wonders how he got the small mark upon his skin, but she has enough tact (unlike certain reporters that come to mind) not to ask.
As she holds his finger, Riyo can see it tremble just a little bit. Commander Faie is in just a shirt and cargo pants (A part of Riyo can admit how good he looks in them, but that is a part of her that is not helping right now.) and it isn’t hiding the small tremors moving through his figure the way a full suit of armor and helmet would. “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine for crashing into you.” She repeats, and the commander’s shoulders suddenly droop downwards from their ramrod straight position.
“What I did wasn’t your fault either-” Commander Faie starts when Riyo catches a hint of movement in the crowd to his left, and this time it’s her turn to tense up when she sees its source. “Senator?” He asks tentatively, and Riyo looks back in surprise as he catches her hands with what had been his free hand. “Senator, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” It’s surprisingly gentle from the hard-shelled man.
No. No Riyo is not okay, thanks for checking in. How is that reporter still following her? She’d switched levels four times and hidden in corners, and she had repeatedly told him that after last time when his holojournal had intentionally misquoted her to paint her as the manipulative dark side of Bail & Padme’s friendship that she would never do an interview with him again but he keeps following her.
“Yeah, I’m alright.” Riyo forces a smile.
“Osik.” Commander Faie fires back. It’s unexpected and unlike him, and Riyo looks at him in surprise. From the look on his face, he can’t believe he said it either. Well. He’s not wrong. Riyo bites the inside of her lips. (Yes, Mon, she’s aware it’s a bad habit. Not everyone can always know the right thing to say on the first try.)
“It’s really not much. Just a reporter who won’t take no for an answer where his latest scoop is concerned.” There’s concern flitting across Commander Faie’s beautiful eyes, even if it doesn’t show anywhere else on his person. “He wants to do an interview over lunch,” Riyo adds, to clarify there’s nothing horribly sinister on his part. why won’t he accept a no?
“Would having a prior lunch commitment help?” Commander Faie only hesitates for a moment before offering cautiously. Riyo gives him a small smile.
“Why Commander, are you offering?” She teases, bumping his hip with hers. Commander Faie doesn’t blush, but there’s something… quietly hopeful in his eyes.
“If would help, Senator?” He says, tensely, and Riyo grins at him again, and she can see a small grin cross his face ever so quickly.
“That would be lovely, Commander. And please, call me Riyo.” She says, and doesn’t untwine their hands but does maneuver them so they hang between the two of them. “Besides, if our last encounter was any precedent, your company is very welcome.” Commander Faie has a small battle visible only through those ever-expressive chocolate brown eyes before he sends her a true smile. She can see as he weighs his options.
“Lead on then, Riyo.”