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I Feel a Little Lost in This World

Chapter 5: Percy's Birthday Party Takes a Dark Turn

Notes:

hello!!
sorry for the wait, i kept thinking that i posted this already and it turns out i hadnt lmao. anyway enjoy!! i think you'll like this one ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Camp was quiet for the rest of the summer, many of them eager to return home to their families for the school year, or simply struggling to process everything they’d gone through in the span of a few days. 

Nico had performed funeral rites the day after the battle, and then had to do it again and again as campers continued to succumb to their injuries.

Then, one morning, the dying stopped. Campers began to heal physically, though it was clear that the mental toll would have lasting effects on all of them.

When August finally rolled around and Percy invited the questing group back to his mom’s apartment for a birthday celebration, Nico was excited to go. He wanted to pretend to be normal, just for a few minutes.

They finally got to see that movie they’d meant to see back in June, though they watched it from the comfort of Sally Jackson-Blofis’s couch. They had cake that had been dyed blue with food coloring. They all sat in a circle on the floor in the living room when conversation turned from the lighthearted to something more serious. Nico had wanted to double-check that they’d hit every point on the prophecy - wanting to be extra cautious considering what had happened after his first quest - though none of them seemed to think they knew what the last line had meant. Before they could get too far into it, though, Percy brought up a different prophecy instead.

“You know, I don’t really think it’s fair that the two of you get to know more about the Great Prophecy than us,” Percy complained, leaning back on his hands. “I mean, it’s about a kid of the Big Three, right?”

“That’s what Bianca told me,” Nico said, hugging his knees to his chest. Talking about the prophecy made him want to give Bianca a call, but would she answer? “She said that it’ll come to pass when a child of the Big Three turns sixteen.” 

Annabeth nodded. “That’s right. It’s just a matter of...well, figuring out which one of you is closer to sixteen.” 

Nico and Percy shared a look. How were they possibly going to figure that out?

Percy shrugged. “Well, chronologically, I’m, like...eighteen? And Nico’s like, a hundred, so...rock, paper, scissors?”  

Nico kicked him. “We celebrated your thirteenth birthday last year. So you’re fourteen now.” 

Annabeth turned to Nico. “And how old are you?”

Nico blinked. “Uh…”

“He’s fourteen,” Will said quietly. He hadn’t spoken up since the conversation turned to the topic of prophecies, and Nico had almost forgotten he was there. “He was ten when he got to camp, so he’s fourteen now. Almost fifteen.” 

“I guess that means I turn fifteen in January,” Nico told Annabeth.

She nodded. “Then, to me, it sounds like the prophecy is yours. You’ll turn sixteen about half a year before Percy.” 

“Great,” Nico said with a huff.

Percy nudged him with an elbow. “Hey, don’t worry about it! It’s only if you live that long.” 

Nico shoved him back. “I wonder if I could bribe Persephone to turn you back into a tree.” 

“Maybe she can turn you into a tree,” Percy suggested, “and that way you can just sleep straight through all the bad stuff.”

“So, you’re cool with taking the prophecy, then?” Nico asked. “Because I’ll gladly let you have it.” 

Percy raised his hands in surrender. “Oh, no way, never mind! I’d like to live, thanks.”

“Wow, you think I’m gonna die? Thanks for having any faith in me.” 

“Can you two please stop arguing?” Annabeth cut in. “If anything, we should be making a plan so that Nico doesn’t die.” 

Nico frowned. “So...you also think that I’ll die? Damn, I expected it from Percy, but it hurts coming from you.” 

Will suddenly got to his feet and said, “I need some air.” For a second, he didn’t move, except to glance at Nico before quickly looking away. “Um. Nico, could you come with me? There’s something I--  I need to talk to you. Alone.” 

Nico blinked. “Uh, yeah, sure.” He got to his feet, not-so-subtly kicking Percy when he gave Nico a weird look, and then he had to practically jog down the hall to catch up with Will. “Hey, wait up,” Nico said when Will ducked into Nico and Percy’s shared bedroom, and then climbed out the window onto the fire escape. “Will, what’s going on?” Nico asked when he finally joined Will outside.

Will had sat down with his back to the exterior wall of the building, and when Nico sat down beside him, he realized that they wouldn’t be seen by someone passing by the window. Will was hiding - he truly didn’t want anyone but Nico to hear what he had to say. Will reached out for Nico’s hand before he started to talk.

“That...line in the prophecy,” Will said quietly, “I think I know… Lose a love to worse than death. I asked you before if… If Charlie had died, and you said he hadn’t, but that…” Will shook his head, gazing off into the distance away from Nico and letting his head thunk back against the wall behind them. “It’s worse than death. He’s… He’s gone, but now we-- You have to take him out...for good.” 

Nico squeezed Will’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Will. I never realized you and Charlie were that close.” 

Will laughed humorlessly, almost sounding embarrassed. “It’s...more than that. I--” He groaned, pressing his free hand over his eyes. “How can I explain this?” He dropped his hand and shifted to face Nico, reaching out to take Nico’s other hand as well. “When I was on Calypso’s island, we had a lot of time to...talk. I… I told her about you, mostly.” Will smiled nervously at Nico before dropping his gaze to their hands, his thumbs slowly brushing across Nico’s knuckles. “She got me thinking about some stuff, and helped me process a few things, and I’m realizing now, after… After losing Charlie and...and Lee, I don’t want to risk losing anybody else. And inside, just now, talking about how you--” He choked on his words as he said, “How you might die... Nico, I need you to know how important you are to me. I--” He lifted his gaze once more to meet Nico’s eyes. “I like you, Nico.” 

Nico felt his face start to heat up, and for some reason, he couldn’t look into Will’s eyes any longer. He dropped his gaze to their joined hands. “I like you, too, Will. I mean, you’re my best friend, and I--” 

Will sighed. “No, I-- I mean, yes, you’re my best friend, too, but-- No, I mean that I like you.”

Nico frowned. He nodded slowly and said, “Right. And I like you, too.”

“No, you--” Will cut himself off with a groan and pulled his hands out of Nico’s, though Nico tried to grab his hands back.

“Wait, hang on a second--”

For half a second, Nico actually thought Will might hit him to try to knock some sense into him, but then he did something that surprised Nico so much more. 

Will grabbed Nico’s face in his hands and kissed him.

Nico was sure it only lasted for a second, but at the same time, he wondered if Kronos had appeared and frozen time around them. Then, Will pulled away, taking the warmth of his lips and his hands with him, and all Nico could do was watch him and blink.

He watched as Will opened his eyes, and the way the crease between his eyebrows disappeared. He blinked, and suddenly Will no longer looked determined, but shocked. Another blink, and Will was afraid.

“Oh,” Nico whispered, not sure which part he was reacting to.

Will scrambled back, burying his face in his hands and suddenly rambling, saying, “I’m sorry, oh gods, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that! Please don’t be mad at me, I’m so sorry.” 

“Woah, hey!” Nico exclaimed, finally managing to unfreeze himself and reaching out for Will. He took him by the shoulders and tried to lean in to make Will look at him, but it wasn’t until Nico managed to pry Will’s hands away from his face that Will finally lifted his eyes. He hadn’t started crying, which Nico took as a good sign, but his hands were shaking in Nico’s hold. “I’m not mad. I promise, I could never be mad at you.” 

“You…” Will blinked. “You’re not? Then...how do you feel about...this?” Nico thought he heard an unspoken question: How do you feel about me?

“I...don’t know,” Nico answered honestly. “I don’t know how to say this in a way that won’t hurt you.” 

Will’s hands went weightless in Nico’s. “Oh.”  

“No, wait!” Nico squeezed Will’s hands and forced Will to keep his eyes on him. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. I need-- I have to process...all of this, but no matter what, I promise, you will always be my best friend. It’s just that… I mean, it’s like Percy said. I’m, like, a hundred. I know things are different now from when I was a kid, but in my head, it’s all still...jumbled up. I never even let myself think about you in that way, because I never thought it was possible for you to like me like that. So… I can’t really tell you how I feel, because I don’t know yet, but I know that I like you, and I’ll always like you, I just need to...figure out if it’s in the same way that you like me.” 

Will held his gaze for another few seconds before tipping his head forward to press his forehead against Nico’s. “Okay, I get it.” 

“You’re acting like this is a rejection,” Nico commented, “and it’s technically not.”

Will’s nose scrunched up. “It’s not... not a rejection.” 

Nico hummed. “That’s too many negatives.” 

Will laughed, and Nico felt his heart soar. He pulled back, releasing one of Will’s hands as he did so, and sat down at Will’s side again. He rested his head on Will’s shoulder, and felt Will’s head tip over onto his.

“What would you want to date me for, anyway?” Nico whispered. “I could be dead in a year.” 

Will pressed his lips to the top of Nico’s head. “All the more reason to spend as much time with you as I can. Besides, if something were to happen to you, I can’t imagine that I won’t be far behind.”

Nico frowned and lifted his head. “If I die, it’s probably because I’m trying to protect you. If I die while protecting you, and you still die I’m going to be so pissed.”  

Will grinned. “I meant more along the lines of how if you die, then Kronos might kill us all.” 

“Oh.” Nico laid his head back down. “You don’t think Percy could take over and save the world?”

“A world without you? I don’t think I’d want him to save it.” 

Nico elbowed him in the side. “Gods, have you always been this cheesy? Or do you think you have a free pass just because you confessed your feelings for me?” 

“Eh, a little bit of both,” Will answered with a laugh. 

They were quiet for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s company, until Nico said, “I think I should go back to my training.” 

Will paused. “Like, with your dad?” 

Nico nodded. “I barely visited him at all last year while I was in school, and now that we know the prophecy is...well, probably about me, I feel like I should be training harder than ever. To make sure I’m ready for whatever happens.”

“That’s a good point,” Will replied. “Maybe I should stay back this year, too. Michael’s going to need help with the counselor stuff, and maybe Chiron can teach me more about healing, and archery, and...everything I can get better at while there’s still time.” 

Nico squeezed his hand. “What about your mom? Don’t you want to spend as much time with her as you can, just in case?” 

“I don’t even know if my grandparents will let me see her,” Will said quietly. “But...when it gets to that point, will you take me to Texas so I can say goodbye?”

“I’m not letting you die, Will--”

“I don’t want my last conversation with my mom to be over the phone,” Will cut in. “Please, Nico.” 

Nico took a deep breath. “Yes, of course. Anything for you.” 

Will shrugged his shoulder lightly, just enough to get Nico to look up at him once more. “So, I guess this means I’ll be seeing you around camp a little more often.” 

Nico grinned. “Yeah, I guess you will.”

Notes:

thanks for reading!

Notes:

thanks for reading!! im mainly focusing on a different au right now so updates here will be very slow if at all existent for the next like. month ish (also im still uhhh trying to graduate college so bear with me)