lycheee



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Just got the word from the officials, Metros are shutting Miitka down for the night," LeClaire says almost dispassionately. “Third period we’re up against,” LeClaire consults his clipboard, “Shane Hollander. Drafted 2009, current starter for the Laval Maples, posts a .905 save percentage.”

    Ilya stays where he is, rolling the name around in his head once, without much interest.

    Hollander.

    Doesn’t ring a bell.


    Inspired by that one twitter post, what if Shane was a goalie?

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    10 Feb 2026

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    u/rainbowcat101
    No offense op but are you seriously about to let your job control your personal life? If you don’t fuck that man I swear to God…

    u/burnerforadvice24
    My job is everything to me. It is my life.

    u/rainbowcat101
    Wow. That definitely sounds healthy

    u/burnerforadvice24
    Okay, fuck you dude, you don’t know my situation

    Or: a look into the secret burner reddit account of one Shane Hollander

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    08 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Wait," Shane pauses, suddenly feeling more exposed than he thought he was still capable of feeling in front of Ilya. He leans his head over his shoulder to get a peek of Ilya, who's staring down lovesick at—apparently—his stretch marks. "You're licking my stretch marks instead of eating my ass right now?"

    "What? I like them."

    or, you're not special, Ilya, Shane's stretch marks are really deeply personal and beloved to me too

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    07 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Always like this." Ilya doesn't know the best way to put this. English words clunky on his tongue. "Pretty eyes fill up with tears for me."

    Shane's lips part in surprise. Ilya wants to push a finger between them, watch his cheeks hollow out around it, but Shane recovers quickly, mouth flattening before Ilya has a chance.

    "It's—it's a normal response," he says, defensive. "Sometimes peoples' eyes water because of, because of the stimulation." Shane winces. "Or… you know what I mean."

    "Oh, yes." Ilya grins. "The stimulation makes all parts of you wet."

    "Oh, god, Rozanov. That's gross."

    ———
    Ilya's obsessed with seeing Shane cry.

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    07 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

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    07 Feb 2026