Chapter Text
Violan's brown eyes continued to watch the passing clouds from the large windows in the mansion's study. She gently bounced Basen in her lap, detached from what happens around her. Her eyes were glazed and she looked deep in thought as she sat on the couch opposite the large oak table. Violan had enough of dancing around the topic they were so afraid to breach. "Deruth," she suddenly spoke up with Basen on her lap and Deruth working on the table near them. Deruth showed no sign of hearing her, still furiously working away at those damned papers. He hummed, then tched in annoyance at what he had read. Violan sighed, "Deruth." It was a warning tone that made Deruth snap from his focus. "Hmm?" He asked sheepishly, slowly placing his quill down. "I think there's something wrong with Cale." Violan said bluntly. Deruth dropped the paper he was holding while Basen cooed at the fluttering brownish parchment. "Wh-what do you- nothing's wrong with- Cale's fine," Deruth sternly rebutted. He sighed and crouched to gather the papers. "Yes, he's more silent now but he still speaks to me, Violan. No matter how few, we still talk to each other."
Violan watched as Deruth's hand trembled as he fixed the papers. "A simple yes or no, and a few small sentences doesn't warrant as normal, Deruth. He doesn't even say a simple 'hi' to me," she muttered with exasperation, "And I know you know how talkative Cale is with the Molans."
"Deruth, we're his parents. He should feel safe with us and not with the servants." Violan stood up, carried Basen, as she approached Deruth, "It's not that I disprove of their closeness. I'm thankful for it since it helps Cale but I just wished we could be proper parents to him."
"Well we're not doing very good are we?" Deruth chuckled mirthlessly. "We're both cowards, Violan." Violan stopped in her tracks. Deruth was right. Even she didn't know what to do when it came to Cale, so she avoids him. Not avoid exactly, but she does not actively seek him out either. She knew Cale liked the arts and music as much as she did yet she never did try to reach out.
"Healer Howard may know what to do," Deruth murmured after moments of silence. Deruth sighed heavily and hugged Violan's waist close to him. "This isn't- we don't know what to do, Violan. I don't think we can solve this on our own." Deruth slowly peered at Basen whose eyes were wide with curiousity as he reached out to the quill in Deruth's hand. He watched with adoration as Basen played with the soft feather and suddenly with shock as Basen glomped on it. "Basen, no," Deruth exclaimed as he pulled away while Basen giggled innocently. As he leaned back to watch Violan playfully scold Basen, the baby not listening, the growing want to have Cale with them festered.
The next day, Howard was in their abode again. The skies were slightly gray today but it was still bright, just the perfect amount of shade. Some darker clouds floated around and the breeze was not warm but had a comforting cool to it. "I do hope young master Cale isn't the one I'm checking up on this time," Howard remarked as Ron opened the door and a servant had taken his coat. "No need, dear," he said to a servant who offered to take his bag. Deruth's smile was strained as he greeted the man. "I hope your journey to here was comfortable," he greeted with a firm shake of Howard's hand. Howard bowed as he greeted the county's patriarch. "I'd say it's a rather fine weather to take trips in," he laughed before turning serious as he stepped in further in the house. "Now, as I was saying. You had said in your letter that you need me to take a look at your son. I hope it isn't young master Cale. His health has been increasingly fragile as the years pass," he rambled as he followed Deruth who had turned to fetch Violan from her room by the garden where she paints. Deruth paused and coughed awkwardly. He said nothing besides asking them to wait as he fetched Violan from inside the room. "I'm afraid that is the case, sir," Ron smiled benignly as the couple exited the room. He was not as cold and aloof to the county's leaders like the first year Violan moved in but the butler made no show to act all close and kind with them more than necessary. Deruth could not blame the man. After all, he knew Ron would still perform his duties well despite some, well to put it bluntly, negative views and feelings that might have stem from the neglect he had done to his sweet boy.
"Dear me, is it another fever?" Howard asked worriedly, his footsteps hurried towards the direction of Cale's room. He knows how sickly Cale is, how one extreme fever may lead to a close call, and how a simple accident may have a lifetime effect. Deruth managed to catch up and stop the worried healer. "It's- Cale's not sick. Not literally, I suppose," he trailed off. "There has been some worrying things we have observed, sir," Violan interjected respectfully. "No need to call me, sir, Countess Violan," Howard waved his hands with a flush, "Howard would do."
The clock in the hall chimed, some servants who were walking leisurely rushed as the two o'clock alarm rung out. "Might I suggest, Sir Howard, that we take this to the drawing room. Young Master Cale's lessons are about to end and it would alarm him to see all the adults gathered and talking about him," Ron interrupted politely. Servants bowed gracefully at the small gathering of adults and moved out of their way as they passed. Howard nodded and they all quickly moved to more private quarters.
They had quickly gathered in the drawing room where a maid had prepared some snacks and tea to have whilst they had their discussion. "Ron, do call Beacrox over as well. We'll need you two for this," Deruth requested as he sat down. Ron bowed and as silent as he always was, he left the room.
"So, what seems to be the matter, Count Deruth?" Howard asked, pushing up his glasses. His brown orbs, that looked softer and golden under the afternoon light, seemingly watched their every move. Deruth nervously held Violan's hand as they sat side by side on the couch opposite where Howard sat. "Cale has some trouble speaking," Deruth admitted after a beat of silence, "To- to us at least. And the other servants. And even to Eric and Amiru." He remembered in the wedding as the two children chatted with Cale while Cale remained silent, smiling and gesturing at them every now and then.
Howard's small smile fell and he frowned. "Do you know anyone he speaks to?" And just in time, a knock interrupted them and Ron followed by Beacrox entered after given permission. "Ah, Ron and Beacrox, correct? Personal caretakers of the young master, yes? And also Agatha, if I'm not mistaken," Howard asked while jotting down on the paper he got from who knows where. "Agatha was originally the young master's pseudo-wet nurse, but she has been more focused on being the head maid for now." Surprisingly, it was Beacrox who spoke up. The two Molans stood straight beside their master's chair, only speaking when spoken to.
Violan had always been wary of the two. There was something odd and unnerving about them. Their steps were silent, moves calculated, and Violan could not read them.
"Ah, is that so? Well, no matter, I mostly need you two. I assume the young master speaks freely with you both?" Howard asked without missing a beat. "Yes, sir. He has a habit of retelling his day when I tuck him in at night even if I was mostly with him at day." Ron answered fondly yet still keeping that formal air to him. Violan had noticed that the older Molan only looked fond or showed any actual emotion when it came to his son or his young charge. Ron couldn't help but let his gaze fall on the couple before going back to Howard. Howard hummed, his aged face flashing understanding, disappointment, before returning to the usual professional look. "And I want to clarify, from all of you, how much does Cale speak to you and how much time do you spend with Cale? And when did this all start?"
It was silent once more. "I need you to be honest with me," Howard added straightforwardly, "If it makes you look bad, I don't care. I might be a healer but the mind is a fragile thing that even us, Academy graduates and veterans, have a hard time understanding. I need every fact you can give me."
"It begun after Cale turned three. Mainly after the countess moved in." Beacrox blurted out when no one made a move. Howard made a motion to go on, "I need to know where it may possibly root from. Tell me everything, dear." His tone was more gentle to the teen. Howard partially knows the two. Not their whole story, but Ron had approached Healer Howard several times consulting how to care for and understand Beacrox. Ron, for all the mask he puts up, is a caring father first before anything. He then turned to the couple, "What he may say might reflect you in a negative manner but you have to understand that this is how he had seen the situation and what he would tell us is a firsthand account to what happened as seen from someone who stays by young master Cale's side."
"When the former countess died," Beacrox begun hesitantly as he looked at his father for guidance. Ron nodded gently at him and placed a hand on Beacrox's fluffy brown hair. Beacrox looked back to Howard, more confident and determined, "Cale was unstable, to put in simple terms. He would be hysterical, throw tantrums, look for his mother, and he was like that for the first few months. Then he just- stopped. We don't know what happened but he slowly became silent and he'd space out a lot. He would refuse to eat, his health was declining, and he'd spend most days in the former countess' room. But it slowly got better again, he talked with everyone. Not as chatty as before, but he talked. But then-" Beacrox sneered and clenched his fist tightly. He remembered how Cale's smile fell, how the brightness in his childlike wide eyes dimmed and turned guarded, how Cale curled in his arms, and how Cale had clung to him fearfully when he first saw that woman, it was her fault, if she didn't seduce the count then cale didn't have to deal with this, we were doing just fine with each other, he was smiling again and then she had to just come with a bastardly child, cale wasn't ready for that but they didn't care-
Ron placed a hand on his son's shoulder sensing the other's turmoil. Beacrox turned away, his arms crossed with a glare on his face. The room tensed again. Beacrox was raised by his father alone, he knew what it was like to loose a mother. He knew more than anyone in this room what Cale could've possibly felt.
"Please excuse my son's behavior," Ron cut off. He won't say Beacrox was wrong because even his blood boiled when Cale had cried to him one night asking why it hurt in his heart, asking why he had to be replaced, looking for his dead mother and absent father, and forced to cope on his own. "As he was saying, we think that the young master started to close on in himself again after the count brought home the countess. I am not saying this to point the blame at the Count and Countess," Ron clarified, "but I do believe it was a factor that might have affected the young master. Young Master Cale did not know what to do and how to act with them around. I won't divulge in what the young master had told me as it would violate his privacy if I just carelessly babbled but he had said he was in pain with what had happened and in a moment of confusion, he-" Ron stopped himself. Out of his rising anger, a trained assassin such as him, almost lost control over his emotions.
He cleared his throat and bowed lowly, "That is all I could say." Howard sighed heavily as he looked at his notes. He just wanted honesty from his clients, it was hard but he really needed it. "He called you what a toddler would call a parental figure, didn't he?"
Howard was starting to feel annoyed. And here he was, thinking that Cale's new family cared for him as much as the rumors said. For a moment, Ron had an amused smile. This healer was all business and had no intentions to sugar coat the truth. Ron nodded stoically, pretending to show some sheepishness. "And he likes to call me hyung," Beacrox childishly chimed in.
Oh.
Deruth slumped in his seat. Oh, he really did mess up badly, didn't he?
Howard wrote down a couple more things before turning to the couple. "And how about your side?"
"I-" Deruth had his head bowed, hands shaking. "I have never properly spoke to Cale about the entirety of the situation." Violan leaned her forehead on Deruth's shoulder, "As have I. I do not really know what to say or how to explain myself, and it's not an excuse." At the same time, the couple lifted their heads together. "Please, help us, sir." Deruth managed to say.
Howard smiled softly. In his experience, no one really knew what to do as parents. Even he, a graduate from the Academy on healing and the mind, had messed up several times on his own son. It was nice to see parents put effort and try. "Can I talk to the young master then?" Howard asked gently.
Ron took out a pocket watch reading that it has been half past two, "As it so happens, the young master's violin lessons just finished. May I escort you to his room, sir?" Howard nodded, stood up and motioned for the couple to follow as well. "I think it's best if you hear our discussion and watch how Cale interacts with others."
Ron lifted his right hand and knocked gently on Cale's door. "Young master, may I come in?" He enunciated clearly, Beacrox by his side, the couple and the doctor behind him. "You may!" A muffled childish reply resounded. Ron looked sideways to Healer Howard, "I think it's best if I talk to the young master first about the sudden visit." Howard nodded in agreement, silent and observing the events that transpire.
Ron straightened before opening the door. "Well then, please excuse me," he murmured to the adults who were asked to keep out of sight of the open door.
Cale looked up from the book he was reading on his bed and excitedly squirmed. He looked at the page number, muttered it several times to himself, before gently placing the book down and jumping off the bed. "Daddy!" Cale greeted excitedly with his arms outstretched as he runs to Ron. Ron instinctively caught Cale before carrying him on his hips.
Cale threw all the lessons of etiquette he had learned from Sir Albert. To him, his papa is his papa but Ron is also just like papa. Sometimes, Ron was even better than his papa! Ron reads to him and tucks him at night. Ron listens to him. Ron knew that he liked sweetened iced lemon tea but hated lemonade.
Ron also loves him. Cale would always hear it at night when he's tucked in and his eyes are closed. Ron would whisper with a kiss to his forehead, "I love you, sweet darling Cale. We love you." Cale wonders why he hasn't heard that from his papa but it's okay! Ron says papa loves him very much!
So yes, to Cale, papa is papa but Ron is also like papa. It's fine, he thinks. It's just like how people expect him to see Violan as another parent, sadly he doesn't but, hey, he sees Ron as a parent. So it's fine, right?
Behind the doors, Deruth gasped softly. He did not want to believe it when Howard mentioned it earlier but hearing the word come out of Cale's own mouth made it even more real to him.
"Daddy, you won't believe what happened today!" Cale babbled, oblivious to the three adults behind the door. Then he buried his face at Ron's neck as he wrapped his arms there as well. He lifted his head and saw Beacrox by the door. "Beacrox-hyung!" Cale exclaimed, waving happily. He then turned his attention back to Ron, holding the butler's cheeks with his tiny hands, "Miss Rose complimented me on my playing today saying it was," he paused, nose scrunching up in confusion, "exki- exwi- exquisite!" Cale looked proud of himself, a grin plastered wide on his face. Ron couldn't help but smile back, "Is that so? Well, what piece did you play?" Cale excitedly babbled with Ron replying every now and then as Beacrox fixed the small messes in Cale's room while adding some input here and there.
It was just a short amount of time, but to Deruth and Violan behind the doors, it was like an eternity of regret that they have felt.
Cale swung his feet happily, still in Ron's arms. Then as though he remembered something, he slumped down on Ron's shoulder. "I wish I could play for papa," he mumbled softly. "Of course you can play for the Count, young master." Ron assured with a pat on the back. "Ron," Cale said as he lifted his head again, he fiddled with his hands, still supported by Ron, "'m sorry I called you 'daddy' again. I know it isn't allowed as Sir Albert have reminded me again and again but it just came out. Please don't tell Sir Albert?" He looked at Ron with the cutest dejected puppy eyes that Ron couldn't bring himself to refuse.
Ron chuckled and handed Cale to Beacrox who gently sat Cale on the lounge chair, "I wouldn't." Then he kneeled in front of Cale on one knee to be on the same eye-level. "Cale," he began softly, "Do you remember Healer Howard?" Cale nodded, "Mhmm, the kind grandpa who healed me last time." Beacrox agreed as he brought in some cookies, "That's right, he's here again, Cale." Beacrox-hyung was always strange, Cale thought, he appears at the best of times and he doesn't really notice if he had left since he's back so quickly. "Am I sick?" Cale asked with confusion evident on his face. "Oh, not really," Ron answered gently, "Remember when you told me it hurts? Healer Howard will need to talk to you to help us figure how to remove that pain. He also has to record it since he needs to view it again if he needs to check once more in the future."
Cale hesitantly nodded. "I- Do I really need to speak with him?" Cale mumbled, his hand gripping on Ron's right sleeve again. Ron smiled at Cale, taking Cale's small hands in both of his and raising it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss on Cale's tiny fist and whispered, "Beacrox and I will be by your side, Cale." Cale relaxed slightly, looking at Beacrox who stood behind his father then at Ron. "You promise?" He softly asked. Ron pulled back then placed another soft kiss, this time on Cale's forehead, "Always, Cale. We'll always be here." Cale nodded, firmer this time. "Then- then, okay."
Ron left the room in quick strides. He nodded subtly to Howard and bowed to his masters. "I just want you two to see how Cale interacts with people for now. How it most likely looks from people outside," Howard informed them. "Is it okay to spy on him?" Deruth asked worriedly. "I won't be asking him any personal questions. I'll just be treating this like he has a fever since what I need to know right now is how he acts. I need to gauge the situation and I believe he won't be willing to open up to a stranger like me," Howard assured the count as he bent down to pick up his suitcase he had set down. He took out a magic orb and handed it to Deruth. "I'll be projecting what happens inside from this orb," he instructed, "Well, let's get this on, shall we, Sir Ron?"
And the doors slowly closed on the couple once more, just like always, and their attention had soon diverted to the orb in Deruth's hands.
Howard exited with a playful smile on his face like a grandpa who got to spend time with their grandchildren. As soon as he turned his back, his smile fell. Howard smiled ruefully at Deruth and Violan. "Let's discuss this back in the drawing room with young master," he said as gently as he could. Ron followed him soon after and as he bowed, Deruth gave him a pained smile. Cale followed him with his head bowed, his hand still gripping Ron's sleeve. "Thank you, Healer-nim," Cale mumbled softly. Howard looked surprise at seeing Cale before he smiled softly and ruffled his hair, "Anytime, young master."
"Cale," Deruth whispered breathlessly. Cale startled and looked up with wide eyes like a deer caught by a mage's orb light. His grip tightened and he slowly hid behind Ron with his other hand on his mouth. Deruth smiled at Cale, his eyes pained.
Why was his papa here? He didn't say anything wrong, right? Healer Howard was just checking up on him.
"Young master, I will leave for now but Beacrox will keep you company for now." Ron said as he gently pried Cale's hand off as he knelt at his height. Cale gripped the bottom of his shirt as he nodded shyly. Beacrox appeared behind, silently holding a book about the bear who went to the moon. "Un," Cale nodded before bowing hastily at Deruth and Violan then turning to go back in his room. Beacrox bowed to his masters as well before doors closed again.
The room was silent with only the ticking of the clock heard. The four adults and one teen sat under a tense atmosphere. "It's not that he refuses to speak," the healer cut through the silence quickly, "It's just that he mentally can't."
"What?" Deruth asked in shock. "He is a child, Count," Howard smiled painfully, "I'm afraid you seem to have forgotten that. He is still, until now, trying to come to terms about his mother's death." Deruth turned ansty, "But he told me he was alright with this marriage! He said it was fine." Howard sighed and pushed up his glasses, "He thinks it's fine but as I have talked to him, it doesn't seem so. He acts on an adult's permission." He looked at all of them, "I have to ask, was there anything said to him at the time of his mother's death that affected him so?"
"I-" Deruth furrowed his brows. "I've heard my cousins say how good Cale was for the county and me." Ron slowly got their attention, "I have heard some talk to the young master. They were asking him to be good for the master, and to not burden him and the County any further." Deruth's eyes shook. "What? He doesn't need to do that. Who told that to him? He's a child. He can do what he wants and he doesn't need to be worried about us, adults. We're the adults, we- I should be taking care of him." His voice gradually grew louder, the sentences turned to rambles, panic, confusion, and distress all visible. "Deruth," Violan said gently, "Calm down." Deruth's frantic movements halted and he sighed heavily again. "You're right," he mumbled softly.
Howard cleared his throat, "As I was saying, it is likely that Cale - the young master, I mean - is still holding those words close to him. All these sudden changes made him confused. He doesn't know how to act around his "new parents". The idea is foreign to him, because for him Count Deruth is his papa, and the former countess is still his mama." He watched as Violan's calm facade cracked. "I need all of you to take it slow with him. Slowly build a good relationship with your son, Count. Talk to him," Howard advised sternly then he turned to Ron, "It would also be better if you ease the young master to yes or no questions and make him deside on his own. I've observed that the constant circle never stops. Someone talks to Cale, he clams up since he doesn't know what to say, he looks at you for assurance, you answer for him, his anxiousness is relieved, and the cycle repeats. This isn't good for him, I hope you understand." Ron furrowed his brows but nodded in understanding. It seems like they all made some sort of mistake.
Howard looked back at his notes and squinted at his own rushed writing. He gulped nervously upon realizing what was left in what he'd say. "What I'm about to say is some devastating news for the countess," Howard said while gesturing to the countess in the most gentle way possible. Deruth squeezed Violan's hand to comfort her.
"There is a possibility that young master Cale will never look at you as his mother or young master Basen as his little brother."
Violan's throat clammed up.
And for what seems like the first time in her life, Violan did not know what to say.