Chapter Text
“Goodnight, Nagito.”
“Goodnight Izuru...”
Izuru closed the lights and grabbed Nagito in his arms. The other buried his head in Izuru’s chest, wrapping him in a tight hug. Izuru could sense how tense Nagito was, probably from the earlier news.
Determined, Izuru closed his eyes.
He entered the mind space, but as usual, Hajime wasn’t there. For the last few days, he hadn’t seen the man at all. He could still feel his presence, but everytime he came here, he could feel it fading more and more.
And now, it was so weak that Izuru couldn’t help the feeling of anxiety climbing up his spine.
“Hajime?”
He looked around, red eyes piercing through every corner of the room, trying to spot the brown haired male.
“Hajime?”
He shouted, this time moving around.
The room seemed endless.
“Hajime...”
And then, miraculously, in front of his eyes, the boy materialized. Izuru felt a wave of relief flow through his veins. He even found the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile.
“Hajime!”
He launched himself at Hajime, but as he went to grip in shoulders, he stumbled and almost fell to the floor.
His hands had phased through the other male.
Immediately, his blood ran cold as he looked back at the other with wide eyes, panic and other unfamiliar feelings starting to grow inside of him.
The other just held his head down, a sorrowful expression on his face.
“I’m sorry, Izuru.”
“What...?”
“I’ve been here for too long. You know what happens when an identity is pushed back for too long. Just like at the beginning of the project, I’ll just... disappear.”
“No! No, I won’t allow it.”
“It’s inevitable Izuru. It’s too late, I’m already almost completely gone.”
Both males looked at Hajime’s body, who was slowly disintegrating, dissolving into millions of little particles.
Hajime gave Izuru a weak sad smile.
“Please take care of Nagito for me. Tell him and the others that I’m sorry. Tell him I loved him, so much.”
Izuru felt an unfamiliar substance run down his cheeks as he once again tried to touch Hajime, desperately reaching out.
“Bye Izuru. I guess I’ll see you on the other side.”
“No! No please! Please stay Hajime! You need to tell Nagito yourself that you love him! You need to stay! Everyone needs you... I need you. You’re... you’re like a brother to me Hajime.”
He saw the other’s eyes widen sadly. Tears were now spilling down both of the men’s cheeks.
“I’m so sorry Izuru. I wish... I wish I could go back- I’m really not ready to go... I don’t want to die...”
No... I don’t want to die! I... I still have things I want to do!
“Hajime!”
Izuru reached out once again in attempt to grab Hajime but this time...
They phased through nothing.
Just... the flying particles that were left of Hajime’s soul. They flew up, mixing with the air, as if they never existed in the first place.
It took Izuru a few moments to process what had just happened, before he broke down to his knees.
Tears were flowing out, but apart from that, he felt numb.
Completely numb.
The overwhelming flow of emotions he’d felt in the last few minutes had been replaced with nothingness, as if it had never existed in the first place.
Then, it hit him.
He was gone.
Hajime was gone.
Forever.
There was no bringing him back now. The same thing that happened before happened again and now, he would never hear from Hajime again.
Izuru woke up with a start, gasping for air. Above him, Nagito had been desperately trying to shake him awake, eyes panicked.
“Hey hey, Izuru, what’s wrong? What happened?!”
Izuru coughed and took sharp deep breaths.
And then, when he looked up at Nagito, that’s when everything came back to hit him. The emotions and Hajime’s... death. He felt tears strolling down his cheeks and onto the pillow below. He brought a arm up to his eyes in an attempt to his his eyes.
Nagito’s eyes were wide open at the sight of his normally emotionless boyfriend crying.
“Izuru?!”
“He’s gone.” Izuru managed to choke out between two breaths.
Nagito’s face suddenly shifted from worried to horrified.
“No...”
“When I got there, he was already slowly dying. H-he told me to tell you he loved you. And then, he just... disappeared.”
Nagito froze.
He looked at Izuru, blinking.
Then, he let out a laugh.
And another laugh.
Until there was only a deranged and unstable laughter ringing inside the room.
Through his laughing fit, Izuru had noticed the never ending tears spilling out of the white haired man’s eyes. How his eyes swirled with despair.
“Haha! This is... this is the most despair I’ve ever felt! Haha! Wow! Surely this can only lead to a greater hope, right?!”
Nagito gripped his white hair as Izuru watched, unmoving. A crazed smile laced with pain decorated the lucky student’s face.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before. Haha, Hahahahahaha. Hajime... Hajime...”
But then, he lost his crazed smile. The laughter was replaced with unceasing fits of sobs and cries, occasionally mixing with little deranged giggles.
Izuru approached the other and held him in a tight embrace. Nagito gribbed the other’s shirt as he sobbed even harder.
“Hajime... he’s gone... this... this isn’t worth it. Even for the greater hope, this wasn’t worth it.”
“Nagito.”
“Haha... to think that you guys would be completely safe from my awful luck. It was only a matter of time before one of you died to it. I really am the scum of the Earth, aren’t I?”
“Nagito.”
“I want Hajime back. I’ll give up hope, my luck, everything I have to get Hajime back. Ah, but this is so selfish of me, to think that any of that is actually worth enough to get someone as amazing as Hajime back. I-“
“Stop it.”
Nagito looked down at the slightly shorter male, who was looking at him directly in the eyes.
“It is not your fault. Stop accusing yourself of such a nonsensical behaviour.”
“Ah! but it is! It’s my fault, it’s all my own fault! I was a piece of complete and utter shit to Hajime! He didn’t deserve any of it, and yet I was completely awful to him.”
“That is not true.”
“You know it is! I clearly remember how I acted the last time we spoke. It’s my fault. All my fault.”
This time, Izuru didn’t say anything. He heard a low chuckle from the other.
“You should stay away from me now, Izuru. My luck will kill you next, I will kill you next. In fact, I should just leave this island. It will be much safer for everyone.”
“No, I will not allow it.”
Nagito stared in Izuru’s eyes, blinking once, before his head drooped down. Tears were once again coming out in a continuous heavy flow.
“What do I do now Izuru? I can’t live knowing I killed the one I love Izuru.”
“You can. I will say it again once more; it wasn’t your fault. In fact, it is as much my fault, as it is yours, as it is everyone’s. We are all responsible.”
Nagito looked at Izuru through the tears and didn’t say anything.
Izuru closed his eyes for a few seconds, before sighing and taking Nagito’s hand.
“Come on, let’s get dressed for breakfast. We will have some explaining to do today.”
[...]
They didn’t take the news well.
In fact, who could?
Who could take the news of one of your classmates dying?
Many cried, many screamed and others tried to deny it. Kazuichi was desperately hanging onto Izuru, calling out to a now nonexistent Hajime. Fuyuhiko was throwing and breaking things around as Peko attempted to calm him down and Hiyoko was crying real tears hysterically onto Mahiru’s shoulder. Akane was weeping, Nekomaru had a mourning face, Byakuya was holding a crying and sobbing Ibuki in his arms, Sonia was crying into Gundham’s embrace, who’s hamsters were tearing up at the news of their once temporary caretaker’s death (Hajime had taken care of Gundham’s hamsters when Gundham wasn’t awake yet), Teruteru was looking at the ground, face serious and eyes tearing up and finally, Mikan was crying hysterically, being comforted by Nagito, who was clearly holding back tears.
Meanwhile, Izuru constantly heard Hajime’s last words replay in his head.
He was sure those words would stick to him forever.
Life will never be the same now.
And it will never be the same ever again.