Chapter Text
Fall has come again to Elmville, turning the days cooler and the trees pleasant shades of yellow. School’s been in session for a little more than a month, which means Aelwyn’s found herself alone more than she was over the summer. It’s not a bad thing, not necessarily, especially on rain grey days like today where it feels like she finally has the space to just breathe.
She’s got a mug of overly sweet coffee balanced near her knee as she looks out one of the tower’s many windows, her crystal sitting atop the book of spells she’s slowly been making her way through. A text from Sam should be coming through any moment now, just as it has since Sam started classes. Sometimes it’s a pun as she gets breakfast in one of the dining halls (the good one with the juice machine and not the one with watery eggs). Other times it’s as she’s sitting in her eight a.m. meteorology lecture and the professor has gone off on another tangent about storm systems and she’s dictating it for Aelwyn to laugh along with. On occasion it’s a selfie of Sam grinning as the sun rises behind her as she walks to class. Those ones are few, but they always manage to steal Aelwyn’s breath away.
Right on time her crystal buzzes, surface lighting up the greyscale window seat.
Today is one of those few mornings where Aelwyn gets a selfie instead of a regular bird picture. It’s raining there too and Sam’s captioned the photo, ‘ wish it wasn’t quite so wet, i left my boots at home.’
The photo itself has Sam with her floral print umbrella out, it casts her face into multicolor shadow as she scrunches her face up at the rain, smiling all the while. The slightest hint of a denim collar peaks up from the bottom of the image.
Aelwyn does a bit of a double take.
Sam’s wearing the jacket.
The jacket Aelwyn made for her. She’s actually wearing it.
‘i think you’ll manage,’ she just barely manages to type back as her insides do an impressive acrobatics routine.
Aelwyn hates the miles between them, hates that she can’t just go across town and demand to know why Sam makes her feel so many things at once. How Sam has the audacity to make her feel so much in such a short time. Shake her until everything falls neatly into place.
‘blech
can u talk for a few?’
This is also part of their routine. Sam always asks to call between her first and second classes, and Aelwyn always says yes.
‘always’
Her crystal begins to ring almost immediately.
“Hello?” She answers, tucking her feet up under herself.
“Hey Aelwyn.” Sam sounds like she’s smiling across the line. One of those small private ones, that it seems only Aelwyn is privy to lately, and that makes her wonder when she started to pay enough attention to what kinds of smiles Sam has that she would have noticed that.
“So there’s a four day weekend coming up,” Sam continues, “and I know it’s super short notice, but would you want to come down for the weekend? My roommates are heading home for it, so it would just be us.”
Aelwyn feels her breathing catch as she says, “I would love to. I even have this weekend off at the library.”
“I guess it was meant to be.” Sam’s smile grows across the line.
“I guess so.”
They keep up an easy stream of conversation for what feels like hours. Sam updates her on all the ridiculous things that have happened since the last time they talked, and it’s nice at the same time it makes something within Aelwyn ache every so slightly. She wishes she could be there, see all the things Sam gets to see, be a bigger, more present part of her college life. But this is better than nothing and she wouldn’t give it up for the world.
Eventually Sam has another class and they’re forced to say their goodbyes.
Crystal dark once more Aelwyn lets out a breath, eyes trained on the falling water just beyond the tower windows. Drowsiness from more than a few sleepless nights begins to pull at the corners of her eyes and the gentle rhythm of the rain lulls her further into sleep.
Elves don’t usually sleep, a trance state is enough to rest their mind and body, but sometimes it’s just nice to succumb to the velvet softness of a true sleep.
Aelwyn always knows when she’s dreaming, some byproduct of last spring that she doesn’t really remember. So when she comes to on a crystalline beach she’s unsurprised to find her movements just barely slowed by the mere air around her.
It’s soft here. The sand glows in a blue so pale it’s nearly white as it shifts beneath Aelwyn’s bare feet. Even the water lapping the shore is soft, the midnight blue waves just barely crested with foam. She looks up and the sky is the same unnaturally dark shade of blue as the sea, only the moon to break up the monotone.
She doesn’t notice where she’s walking towards at first, too caught up in the feeling of the place, somewhere between being six feet underwater and sitting beneath the stars. But then there’s a figure standing out in the surf, the waves swirling around their calves like the white skirt billowing around their knees.
It’s Sam.
And now that she knows it’s Sam the details unblur themselves. The ambiguous shape of her clothes become the jacket of warding over a flowing dress. Her hair focuses into a single loose braid, the wisps of it floating around her face as she stares out at the ocean, palms cupped out in front of her. Moving closer still Aelwyn makes out the look of concentration on her face, brow slightly furrowed, mouth pressed into a line, eyes closed. The scattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks have never looked more like constellations.
“Sam?” She asks, and it’s no louder than the gentle hush of the waves around their feet.
Sam doesn’t move, but her lips form soundless words.
“Sam, what are you doing?” Aelwyn’s close enough that she could reach out a hand and catch Sam’s elbow if she wanted, but something keeps her from reaching.
Again, Sam says nothing, but there’s a flicker of something between her palms. A star, a beat of a bird's wing, a bolt of lightning.
A jellyfish as bright and pale as the quarter moon above their heads floats up and out of Sam’s hands. The bell is no bigger than her hand with fingers spread, but the frills that trail behind it make it nearly as long as her arm. It pulses like a heartbeat, floating closer and closer to Aelwyn.
A sea nettle, she thinks. She’s only seen them once before, when the Maidens went to the aquarium in Bastion City. The ones there had been a rusty sort of orange as they floated around their circular tank. They were Sam’s favourite. She reaches out to touch it.
The moment her finger makes contact with the soft membrane a dozen more nettles burst into existence around them.
“They’re beautiful.” But she’s looking right at Sam, not the bloom surrounding them like shooting stars.
Sam still has her hands cupped before her, but now she’s looking back at Aelwyn, a satisfied little smile on her face. “They feel right.”
“They feel like you.” Aelwyn doesn’t know where the words come from, but she knows they’re true. The nettles are soft and beautiful, but she doesn’t doubt for a moment that they would sting anything that happened to float into their arms. Except maybe Aelwyn. Nothing made by Sam would ever hurt her. She reaches out to the closest one, and sure enough it winds itself around her forearm, feeling like nothing more than a silken ribbon.
“I guess they do.” The awe on Sam’s face dims as she releases another jellyfish. “Why am I here Aelwyn?”
“I don’t know.” Aelwyn frowns and watches the jellyfish twist and bob in an invisible current. There’s something sitting in the back of her throat, words and questions that she only vaguely knows the shape of.
“Don’t you?” Sam presses, it’s not gentle but it’s not harsh either. Simply a question.
Aelwyn sighs, “I want to know why I feel like this,” she gestures to the floating bloom once more, “whenever I’m around you, but you can’t answer that because you’re only the version of Sam that I have in my head. You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know.”
Sam takes both of her hands, folding them between her own and pulling them to her chest. “Maybe not, but maybe that means you already have the answer.”
“But I don’t,” Aelwyn says, voice catching in a way that will either end in tears or frustration. She pulls a hand free to hold Sam’s face. “But I don’t,” she whispers.
“I think you do,” Sam assures with another gentle smile, taking Aelwyn’s hand again and leaning in to press a feather light kiss to her forehead.
The dream melts away and Aelwyn wakes up.
Her coffee’s gone cold and Adaine is studying quietly at her desk, which means she was out for most of the day. She’s almost surprised none of the other manor residents came to check up on her.
As if Adaine can read her thoughts she says, “Ragh brought you up a mug of soup since you missed lunch.”
“Ah, I’ll have to thank him later.” She exchanges the cold coffee for the lukewarm soup. It’s easy enough to reheat with a simple cantrip as she sits back in the window seat. She eats a few spoonfuls of it before saying, “I’m going to be spending the weekend down with Sam, don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
“I’ve got a day and a half, I’ll just do all the stupid things before you leave.”
“I forgot what a comedian you are,” Aelwyn says into her mug, hiding what is definitely not a smile.
Adaine just crinkles her nose before returning to her book, but not before muttering, “I feel like I should be the one telling you not to do anything stupid.”
“Oh yeah, wanna say that louder?” Aelwyn’s already setting the mug down so she can tackle her sister into the bed.
All thoughts of sea nettles and complicated feelings are momentarily forgotten in favor of Adaine’s shrieks and the rough housing they never got to do as children.
Friday comes with little fanfare, it’s stopped raining but the sky is still dreary and Aelwyn feels like she’s packed too much. In reality it’s a backpack with three days of clothes and some toiletries. She’s checked her schedule for work three times that morning between Sam’s daily text message and getting ready to teleport down to Bastion City.
Sam gets done with class at three on Fridays, so Aelwyn’s planning to leave at three ten so Sam will be there when she lands. She does one of the breathing exercises her therapist gave her for when things feel like they’re starting to spiral. It helps somewhat.
“Be safe down there, don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Jawbone gives her a bone crushing hug.
“I’ll be careful, you don’t need to worry about me.” She pretends to dust herself off once he lets go. “You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
And with that she burns her single ninth level spell for the day.
Sam’s there the moment she rematerializes, slightly dizzy and already enveloped in a bear hug.
“I missed you,” Sam says, face buried in Aelwyn’s shoulder.
“Gods I missed you too.” Aelwyn will not cry, she simply will not, though the wetness collecting on her eyelashes might say otherwise. She only hugs Sam tighter, like she’s worried this might all be another elaborate dream, courtesy of her subconscious.
Eventually they separate, but Aelwyn’s hands catch on the hem of Sam’s jacket. Her mouth curls into a grin as she tugs on the hem, “How often do you wear this.”
“Oh well, mostly just since it’s been getting colder out and I don’t have another medium weight jacket yet,” Sam rambles, a faint turquoise flush starts to gather high on her cheeks that tells Aelwyn it’s a lot more often than just that.
“Is that all,” She presses, just because she can, and it’s a rush to finally get to see Sam’s reactions in person again. The little ways she flounders for half a moment before finding a witty comeback, or how she talks a lot with her hands when she’s not worried about what other people may think. All the little things Aelwyn’s had to imagine over their calls.
“If I say no, will your head get much bigger than it already is?”
Aelwyn laughs, and it feels good, like sunshine after the rain. “I don’t think it could get much bigger.”
“Alright then, the jacket makes me feel safe.” Before Aelwyn can comment on that, Sam keeps going. “It’s also nice that I get to brag and say my best friend, the best Abjuration wizard of our age, made it for me when people ask about it.” Sam links their arms and starts walking towards the dorms.
“That’s incredibly sweet actually.” Aelwyn drops her head onto Sam’s shoulder, trying to ignore the heat she can feel in her cheeks. “It’s cute.”
“I think that teleport might have scrambled your brains around.”
“Nah, but I could definitely go for a nap.” She leans heavier onto Sam and laughs when they both stumble.
“I’m with you there, it’s been a long week.” Sam yawns for emphasis.
“So it’s settled then, we’ll nap and then probably wake up just in time for dinner.”
“Sounds great.”
Aelwyn just hums, and they finish the walk to the dorms in relative silence, both just happy to finally be together again.
In the end they do end up napping, piling onto Sam’s too small twin mattress. Aelwyn falls into her trance with an arm around Sam’s waist and the other pillowed under her head. It’s a position Sam is all too happy to be in, being the known cuddle fiend she is, and Aelwyn can’t help but agree as she drifts off to the gentle sound of Sam’s breath.
There’s no dreams this time, and for that Aelwyn’s grateful. She’s not sure what she would do if she had to face her version of Sam again, especially with the real thing not even a foot away.
When she does wake up Sam’s gone but the sheets where she was are still warm and wrinkled. She’s still a bit groggy as she sits up, stretching out her arms and back. Everything has that soft edge that comes from sleeping longer than you mean to.
Her socked feet are quiet as she hops down from the lofted bed, golden sunlight streams in through the windows as the hour creeps closer to dusk.
She takes the time to look over the room Sam shares with one of her suitemates. There’s arcane lights strung around the desk she keeps beneath the loft helping to cast the room in shades of gold. The desk itself is mostly class work in messy piles, but the few photos she has make Aelwyn smile. One group shot of the Maidens, probably taken just before last summer’s end. Another of her and her mom, both smiling wide as they try to crush each other with hugs. And lastly there’s one that Aelwyn didn’t even know existed. It’s a candid shot of her and Sam, her arm wrapped around Sam’s shoulders as they’re both walking towards the camera, heads bent together in laughter.
Picking up the frame she can better see the looks on their faces. Sam’s eyes are squeezed shut as she laughs, Aelwyn can perfectly imagine the sound, while her own is forever caught staring at Sam like she’s the only thing in the universe.
Oh.
She puts the photo down, hands just starting to shake.
Well that’s it isn’t it? Why she feels so much better whenever she’s around Sam. It’s not love, not yet at least, but it’s definitely a whole hell of a lot more than just platonic affection. It’s a little bit of a wonder that it’s taken her this long to figure it out, it’s almost glaringly obvious. As if she hadn’t given it all away with the jacket.
But she has time to sort through that later, for right now she just needs to focus on dinner and spending as much time with her best friend as she can. The rest she can figure out as she goes.
Sam’s over in the little kitchenette watching the pasta boil away in the glass saucepan atop the contraband electric burner. She’s thrown a sweatshirt on over her outfit from earlier, and that too makes her look softer. Something about the image before her stops Aelwyn in her tracks, a pang of longing shoots through her chest with the realization that she wants more of this. Little moments of domesticity with Sam.
She doesn’t know how many she’ll get, so she decides to make the most of this one and finishes her path over to Sam.
“You could have woke me, I would have helped with dinner then,” She says softly, chin hooked over Sam’s shoulder. Her body still feels heavy from her trance, like she’s moving through something thicker than air.
Sam doesn’t move, but she leans back into Aelwyn ever so slightly and Aelwyn’s heart sings. “You looked like you needed the rest, besides I’m just boiling noodles and the sauce comes from a jar. Not exactly labor intensive.”
“Still, you shouldn’t have to do everything,” Aelwyn grumbles, tucking her face further down into Sam's shoulder.
“You’re cute when you’re sleepy” Sam teases, tone bright with affection. “But I’ll let you do the dishes afterwards if that’ll make you feel useful.”
“I think you’re just trying to shirk chores now.” But they both know Aelwyn will do the dishes, just like she would do anything Sam could ask of her. That small voice in her head tries to tell her that no matter what she can’t earn Sam’s love, no amount of acts of service will make her worth that love, but it’s easier than it’s ever been for Aelwyn to know that that voice is dead fucking wrong.
Sam hums noncommittally, but she’s still grinning.
Quiet settles over them once more as Sam goes to strain the pasta over the sink, steam rising up in a great billowing cloud that reminds Aelwyn of sea nettles. An idea sparks in her head, “Let’s go to the aquarium tomorrow.”