Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

🏀

Mark woke up to the sound of the front door opening. He groggily pushed himself up, nearly forgetting about his leg. Scrubbing a hand across his eyes, he was just awake enough to recognize who had burst through the door.

“Momma,” he said, tears of relief springing to his eyes. He struggled to sit up, but his mom just dropped all her bags and ran over to wrap him in a hug.

“Oh, my baby!” His mom cried. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I took so long, I swear I booked the earliest flight I could, but the layover was delayed.”

“It’s okay,” Mark whispered, hugging his mom tighter. She smelled like her favorite linen perfume, and Mark had missed her so much his chest ached. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“I missed you, baby,” his mom said, finally pulling away. Mark forced himself to let her go, even though her comforting hugs were something he craved. “How’s your ankle? Have you eaten?”

“Hurts,” Mark admitted. “I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday and I didn’t think it’d be a good idea to take painkillers on an empty stomach.”

“Since yesterday? Why haven’t you eaten?”

“They forgot to bring my bag when they put me in an ambulance and my phone was in there. Laptop’s upstairs. Couldn’t get it. My teammate is bringing me my stuff after school though.” Fuck. School. He had almost forgotten about it. He definitely wasn’t making it today. He could try going tomorrow, even though the idea of hobbling around on crutches wasn’t appealing. He didn’t have much of a choice; he was already falling behind.

“Okay, so. First order of business is getting you some food in your tummy. What do you want? I’ll order it now and put my things away while we wait.”

Well, it wasn’t like he had to worry about his diet anymore. “Can we get burgers and, like, a shit ton of fries?”

Mark’s mother laughed a little, then nodded. She disappeared with her bags, and Mark settled back on the couch with his leg propped onto a pillow.

He fell asleep for an indeterminable amount of time, and only woke to his mom shaking his shoulder and telling him the food had arrived. He scarfed down his meal and swallowed down his painkillers, then fell asleep again.

He woke up with a painful crick in his neck and the sunset visible through the window. Feeling gross and more exhausted than he was this morning, he managed to sit up after a couple minutes of struggling.

His phone was plugged in on the table, and he realized that Felix must have brought his bag over while he was sleeping. Mentally thanking his mom for taking the time to charge his phone, he picked it up and turned off Do Not Disturb, still on from the game last night, then scrolled through his notifications. He found out from the team group chat that they had won the playoffs, and a bittersweet feeling washed over him. He was trying to be happy that they made it, but it felt like the final nail in the coffin. The team was fine without him.

Sighing, Mark laid back down and pulled the blanket over him. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but the sound of his phone ringing jerked him out of his doze. These painkillers were going to be the death of him. Dragging his hand down his face, he grabbed for his phone, answering without looking at the screen.

“‘llo?” He tried to speak, the word coming out garbled. His tongue felt too large in his mouth. His eyes were already drifting shut again.

“Mark? It’s Renjun.”

Mark forced himself to sit up, pushing the blanket off his shoulders, hoping the position and the chill would be enough to keep him awake. He didn’t particularly feel like talking to anyone, much less Renjun who he was still kind of upset with.

“Jun?” He managed.

“Yeah. Are you okay? You haven’t answered any of our texts.”

Was he okay? Mark took stock of his body. He still had floor burns on his arms and on his ankle. His other ankle was literally in a cast. His head was pounding now that the painkillers were starting to wear off. He was out for the rest of the season. He was most likely not gonna get scouted. He was already falling behind in school.

“‘M okay,” he slurred finally, reaching for his water bottle. Why would Renjun care, anyway?

A pause, and then, “did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.” God, Mark was so tired.

“Listen, Mark, about yesterday… we’re sorry we didn’t come. It was a misunderstanding. We mixed up the dates for the game. But there’s always next time, right?”

Next time? There was no next time. It was over for him. If Renjun knew he was injured and still said that, it was fucked up. If he didn’t know… well, he would have if he had come. Mixed up the dates? He told them personally. Invited them to come. There were posters all over the school. Everyone in the entire school was talking about the game.

Well. Everyone except Renjun and Donghyuck. He had thought maybe they weren’t interested in basketball (he had hoped that, even if they weren’t, they were interested enough in him), but it turned out they were just in their own little world as usual. Donghyuck and Renjun who never paid attention to anyone but each other. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.

His head was pounding now. How many more hours until he could take his painkillers again?

“Okay,” he said when he realized that he had forgotten to reply. The room was starting to spin. His right eye throbbed.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Renjun’s sharp voice made the pain flare up. Mark could also feel himself growing irritated. He reached for his painkiller bottle and found he still had two hours to go before he could take another.

“What do you want me to say, Renjun?

“Uh, I dunno, anything but just ‘okay’?” Renjun snapped.

Mark winced, cradling his forehead in his hand in an attempt to relieve the white hot pressure. His head hurt almost as much as his ankle did.

“Excuse me if I don’t feel like having a conversation right now.”

“Fine, then.” The line went dead. Mark felt a little guilty for being petty, but at least he could sleep now. He flipped his pillow over and flopped back down, sighing when the pillow’s surface felt blessedly cool against his cheek.

The peace only lasted for a few minutes before his phone was ringing again. Mark’s vision was so blurry he couldn’t even see the screen, but he picked up anyway. If it was one of his teachers, maybe he could ask for some extensions. If it was Lucas, he could ask him to bring around his homework. And if it was Renjun again, maybe he’d apologize for being so cranky.

“Look, I told you I don’t really feel like talking—” and I stand by that, but I shouldn’t have snapped at you, was what he intended to say, but never even got the chance.

“What the fuck did you say to Renjun?” The sheer volume of Donghyuck’s voice had tears of pain filling his eyes. The pure, unadulterated anger had him taken aback. What the hell had he done to deserve that? Shouldn’t he be the angry one?

“I didn’t say anything to him.”

“Bullshit,” Donghyuck spat. “You made him cry for what? Because we missed your stupid game?”

Stupid? How could he say that? Mark swallowed around the lump in his throat. “It’s not stupid,” Mark defended, proud of himself for keeping his voice steady, “I—“

“How is it our fault that you can’t communicate properly? How were we supposed to know when your game was when the teacher told us a different day? It was literally a misunderstanding!”

“I’m not fucking mad about the game!” Mark shouted, his emotions bursting out of him uncontrollably, like the dam that had been holding them back had crumbled. Can’t communicate properly? He personally invited them to the game and texted them asking if they were still coming. What else was I supposed to do? Remind them every single day? “And even if I was, I think it would be justified considering you told me you would be there, lied about being free, and then didn’t show up because you were on a date!”

“Am I not allowed to go on dates with my boyfriend now?”

Mark couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That’s not what I said, don’t put words in my mouth. The only thing I told him was that I didn’t feel like talking, and if you were at the hospital all night and your painkillers were wearing off, you wouldn’t feel like Chatty Cathy either.”

“Did it even occur to you that maybe there was a reason I didn’t respond to you all day or show up to school? Or do you just not care?” He was starting to get worked up. His mom could probably hear him yelling, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. All the frustration, exhaustion, and pain that had been building up exploded out of him. “I’m thinking you don’t, considering the second you thought I did something to Renjun, you jumped on me without even asking me.”

“Mark, I—“

“I think I’m gonna need some space,” Mark said hollowly. “This isn’t going to work if it’s me versus RenjunandHyuck all the time. What would it be like if we were actually dating?” He thought he knew what he was getting into, being involved with an established couple. He thought that Renjun and Donghyuck liked him enough that they could work around it. But it was clear that right now, Donghyuck and Renjun were each other’s half, and Mark was just an outsider.

“Mark, wait—“

“And for the record—” Ugly sobs escaped from his mouth before he could choke them down. He was so tired. Everything was hurting. “—I did tell you when the game was. And how important it was to me. I guess you just didn’t think it was worth listening to.”

Mark hung up the phone and dropped it onto the floor before burying his face in his pillow. He wanted to scream and cry and moan, but truthfully his head hurt too much to do any of that.

Maybe another day, he wouldn’t be so upset. If it were another time, perhaps he could have handled everything better. But right now he felt like a hurt tiger, lashing out because of pain and fear.

He could hear his mom coming into the living room, but he didn’t lift his head until she was right next to the couch.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she whispered, placing a cool hand on his forehead, “but I heard yelling and I was worried. Forgive me for being nosy.”

“It’s okay,” Mark said hoarsely, sitting up and opening his arms for a hug. His mom gathered him in her embrace like he was ten again, crying because his daddy hadn’t shown up to his junior league basketball championships. “It’s so stupid to be upset. It’s just a game. But for once… I’d like to invite someone and actually have them show up.”

His mom stroked the top of his head. “I know, baby. I know.”

🏐

The next day, Mark still wasn’t in class.

Before, Renjun thought that Mark was avoiding him. Now he knew that Mark couldn’t even make it to school. Renjun worked on their cookbook alone and wondered how they were going to finish their cooking videos.

Would Mark even want to be his partner anymore?

His phone vibrated with a text, and after a quick glance at the teacher who was preoccupied at her desk, he pulled it out from his pocket.

from: donghyuck

he’s not there today huh

to: donghyuck

nope

from: donghyuck

i don’t know what to do injunnie

Renjun stared at his phone. Donghyuck was always the one with the plan. He was the smarter one between them. He always had an idea on what to do. Him being at a loss had Renjun at one, too.

to: donghyuck

neither do I :(

from: donghyuck

can we get boba after school pls

Instead of answering, Renjun tucked his phone away just as the bell rang, packing up his stuff and speeding downstairs to Donghyuck’s classroom. He found his boyfriend chatting with Mr. O’Brian, and waited patiently for him to finish. When Donghyuck exited the classroom, he looked glum.

“Cheer up,” Renjun said, slinging an arm around Hyuck’s shoulders. In truth, he also felt depressed, but he was trying not to show it. “Let’s get boba and egg waffles. I’ll treat you.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck agreed, giving Renjun the first smile he’d seen from him all day.

They ended up at the cafe where they took Mark, though neither of them mention it as they unpack their textbooks to dive into their homework. Renjun wordlessly hooked his ankle around Donghyuck’s as they bent over their books, craving the silent comfort.

Renjun tried his best to focus. He managed to get through his entire art history paper before he looked up and noticed Donghyuck staring at the window. His notebook page was completely blank.

“Hyuck?” Donghyuck turned to look at him, his gaze void of life.

“He was so mad, Renjun,” Donghyuck whispered. “He was so mad.”

“Donghyuckie…”

“I feel so horrible. I yelled at him! He has a broken ankle—“

“Fractured.”

“—fractured ankle,” Donghyuck amended, “and he was waiting for us… I can’t help but wonder what he was thinking at that moment. Maybe he thought we didn’t care about him.”

“Of course we care about him!”

“We have to show it, Injunnie. He said he feels like it’s Renjun-and-Hyuck versus him. We have to show that we care about Mark so we can win him back,” Donghyuck sniffled. He had already finished his drink, so Renjun passed over his own. Donghyuck accepted it gratefully and immediately drained half the cup.

“You wanna win him back?” Renjun asked.

“Of course!” Donghyuck punctuated his sentence by slamming the plastic cup on the table. “He’s the best thing to ever happen to us.”

Renjun nodded in agreement. “Okay.” He grabbed his junk notebook from his bag and opened it up to a blank page. “Let’s figure out how to win him back.”

🏐

Donghyuck had a three part plan for his apology.

He and Renjun had decided to apologize separately. They were trying to be less codependent and pay more attention to other people than each other. Which meant Donghyuck had to figure out how the hell to apologize to Mark on his own.

The first step was a letter. He wrote his explanation, and his vow to do better, then wrote an additional invitation to meet Mark for an in-person apology. He wrote and rewrote the letter so many times until he ended up with a completely different product from what he’d started with, but finally he was satisfied.

The second part was the in-person apology. Donghyuck wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to say, but he thought being totally, one-hundred percent honest was the best way to go. Maybe he’d bow at Mark’s feet or something.

The last step in his plan was a gift. This was the part that made him most nervous. Instead of going for flowers or chocolates, he made Mark a custom clipboard in shop class. It had a pen holder on the side and a padded clip so it wouldn’t crease any paper it held. There was also a slot that allowed him to insert a pad of paper if it was too thick to be held by a clip. He was quite proud of it actually. He had to get Renjun to paint the back, though, because his artistic abilities were… minuscule at best.

He wasn’t sure when the best time to enact this plan was, though. Should he do it early, while the wound was still fresh so Mark wouldn’t have to suffer alone? Or should he give Mark some space? He wanted to ask Renjun, but they had agreed to do this separately. They were also trying to spend less time together this week, mostly because Renjun had violin lessons to catch up on and Donghyuck had homework.

He swung the cloth bag that held the newly finished clipboard back and forth as he walked home from school. The long walk was probably one of the worst parts about going to Heatherview. He looked up at the sky and grimaced when he realized it was probably going to rain.

Picking up the pace, he made it to the apartment just as the rain began to pour. Grumbling about the shit weather, he scurried into the elevator, hoping to finish his homework early so he could spend the rest of the night agonizing over his apology to Mark.

When he opened the apartment door to yet another mess, he was shocked into silence. Frozen in the doorway, his eyes scanned the entire living room and dread filled his entire body when he realized how many of Donghyun’s friends were in the living room. The ones from before were there, too.

“Look, it’s the little Dong!” One of them shouted.

Donghyuck stepped back out of the apartment, clutching the straps of his bag. His heart pounded in his chest. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Aww, don’t be like that!” Someone else yelled. “Come sit down, have a beer! Let’s get to know each other better.”

“N-no thank you.” He winced at his own stutter. His legs were trembling badly, and he knew that they knew he was scared. “I’m not of legal age to drink, yet.”

“Oh, come on, kid.” A tall, muscular man began crossing the apartment. He leered at Donghyuck, looking him up and down. Donghyuck’s skin crawled under his gaze. “Age is just a number.”

Panicking, Donghyuck stumbled away from the door before turning around and booking it down the hall to the sound of their laughter. He heard someone yell to go after him, and he immediately bypassed the elevator and ran for the stairs, taking them four at a time before jumping down the last landing.

Pain flared up in his ankles, but he didn’t even give it a second thought as he burst through the door and into the rain, his heart in his throat as his shoes pounded on the pavement.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, Donghyuck repeated in his head like a mantra as he ran. He could barely see in the rain, but he just needed to get away.

He was a couple blocks from the school when he finally allowed himself to slow down. When he turned around, he saw that none of Donghyun’s friends had come after him.

Don’t be stupid. They were just kidding. Why would they come out in the rain? But the way that guy looked at him didn't feel like a joke. It felt like a threat. He felt disgusting.

Donghyuck sat down on a bench near the road and wiped roughly at his cheeks, pretending the water droplets on his skin were from the rain. He checked his phone and sighed; Renjun was still at rehearsal. He had nowhere to go. He would try the library if he wasn’t soaked to the bone, but he doubted he would be let in. He’d drip an ocean onto their nice floors.

He tried to figure out what to do, not paying any mind to the car that pulled up next to him as he considered whether it’d be worth searching for a bus shelter to sit in until the rain stopped, until he heard his name being called.

When he looked up, he thought he was imagining things. That in his distress, he was hallucinating Mark Lee as his knight in shining armor. Except it really was Mark, sitting in the backseat of a van. A woman who looked a lot like him was sitting in the driver’s seat.

“Donghyuck?”

“Hi,” Donghyuck greeted weakly. He wanted to get up and run again, but it felt like his ass was glued to the seat.

“What are you doing out here?” Was Mark pissed? He couldn’t tell. Mark’s face was carefully neutral, but he had a little furrow between his brows.

“Just, you know… chilling,” Donghyuck finished lamely.

Mark gave him an incredulous look before heaving a huge sigh. “Get in the car.”

Huh? “Huh?”

“Get in the car. It’s pouring. There’s gonna be lightning soon, it’s not safe out here.” And when Donghyuck hesitated, he added, “Just do it.”

Scrambling for his bags, he clamoured into the car with a quiet “hello” to Mark’s mom. They had removed the middle seat, presumably to make space for Mark’s leg. His crutches were on the floor of the car. Donghyuck stared at them guiltily as Mark pressed the button to shut the door.

“Mom, this is Donghyuck from school. Donghyuck, this is my mom.”

“Hello,” Donghyuck said again. “Sorry for, um, getting your seats wet.”

Mark’s mom waved a dismissive hand as they pulled up to a stoplight. “It’s not a problem, dear, they’re just seats. What were you doing out in the rain?”

“I, um. I couldn’t go home,” Donghyuck said, his voice cracking embarrassingly on the last word. Mark began coughing pointedly, making a cutthroat gesture at his mom and sheepishly putting his hand down when he noticed Donghyuck watching him.

“Anyway,” Mark said loudly, “he can come over for dinner, right?”

“Oh no it’s okay,” Donghyuck protested, but was drowned out by Mark’s mom’s, “Sure! The more the merrier!”

Okay, so. He was going to Mark’s house. Mark who was (possibly?) still mad at him. He checked his phone again despite knowing that Renjun had violin practice until eight and it was only four. It was fine. He could do this without Renjun.

Donghyuck expected to be riding in silence, but Mark’s mom seemed happy to hard-carry the conversation. She asked Donghyuck about school, mostly, though he was too nervous to really give her proper responses. How much did she know about him and Mark? Maybe she secretly hated him for hurting her son. He’d deserve it, anyway.

He knew Mark was stubborn, but nothing could have prepared him for what would happen when they pulled into Mark’s driveway. He refused any help from his mom, climbing out of the car on his own and grabbing his crutches. He wouldn’t even let Donghyuck hold his school bag, slinging it over his shoulder before using his crutches to get up the porch.

“He’s a stubborn one,” Mark’s mom commented as they watched Mark struggle to unlock the front door while staying balanced. “Won’t accept help from anyone. Look after him for me at school, will you?”

“Of course,” Donghyuck said, though he hadn’t actually seen Mark at school in days. Maybe Mark’s mom didn’t know about their fight after all.

“Are you coming or what?” Mark called over his shoulder, looking sulky as he hobbled into the house. His mom laughed and guided Donghyuck to the door without touching him, which he appreciated greatly. He was still shaken from before, and truth be told whatever the hell was going on with Mark wasn’t making it better.

“Let’s get you into some dry clothes,” Mark’s mom said kindly. Donghyuck stood in the hall, too afraid to move as she disappeared to get him a towel. He left his bag on the rug and hoped his textbooks were okay. She returned with a bundle of clothes and directed him to the shower, pointing out which bottles were okay to use if he wanted to wash his hair.

It was Mark’s shampoo. Donghyuck could tell just by the smell when he squirted it in his palm, reaching up to scrub at his hair. Some vague fruity scent that really didn’t smell like anything but artificial, but still smelled good. He scrubbed at his skin with the soap until it turned red, hoping to rid himself of that disgusting feeling that still lingered. He tried not to think of what happened back at the apartment, instead reading the labels of random body products until all the soap had been rinsed off.

He still felt gross when he stepped out of the shower and patted himself dry. He refused to look at his reflection as he pulled on the clothes he’d been given, those which definitely also belonged to Mark.

“You can put your clothes in here, honey,” Mark’s mom said when she spotted him exiting the bathroom. She had a laundry basket of clothes on her hip. “Since I’m already doing laundry, we might as well wash yours.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t know what to do in the face of her kindness.

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour,” she told him. “Why not go hang out with Mark in his room until it’s done?”

“Okay.” He stood there for a moment, then realized she was waiting for him, so he headed down the hall where she indicated Mark’s room was and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Mark called, so Donghyuck swung the door open and found him on the floor, diligently drying his things with a hair dryer. “Sorry for going through your bag, but I didn’t want your stuff to be ruined.”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck said awkwardly. He fidgeted in his spot for a moment before he remembered the letter and gasped, diving to his knees for his Calculus textbook. The hardcover had mostly stayed intact, and he flipped it open to pull out the envelope, hiding it behind his back. Unfortunately, he wasn’t fast enough.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Donghyuck blurted out, then gave in when Mark raised an eyebrow, handing over the envelope.

“For me?” Mark traced over the letters of his name, scrawled on the back in Donghyuck’s neatest handwriting.

“It was, um, an apology letter,” Donghyuck admitted, then gasped when Mark started opening it. “What, are you reading it now?!”

“Do you not want me to?” Donghyuck didn’t know how to answer that, so he just shrugged. He watched Mark’s expression as he read the letter, but it didn’t change the whole time.

He knew what Mark was reading — he had it memorized by heart.

Dear Mark,

Sorry for starting this letter so awkwardly, but I have honestly not written a proper letter since I used to write to Santa Claus back in first grade. Anyway, I think I’m gonna get into it right away.

I am sorry.

I’m sorry, first of all, for missing your game. I know that’s not really what you’re mad about, but I am really sorry for not being there when I said I would. I should know more than anyone how much it means to an athlete to go to their games, and I really let you down. I can’t imagine how you felt when I didn’t show, and I’m so sorry for making you feel that way.

I also want to apologize for not telling you about the anniversary date with Renjun. I feel like a lot of this could have been avoided if I had. In my head, it made sense to keep it a secret because I didn’t want you to feel excluded, but in the end by sharing this secret with Renjun, you were excluded anyway and that’s not fair to you. You were the one going all in trying out this whole dating thing with us, and I never wanted to make you regret it.

And I’m sorry for arguing with you that night on the phone. Thinking about it makes me feel so sick. I can’t believe I did that to you. I jumped to conclusions and attacked you, and I really shouldn’t have. I understand now what you meant by it feeling like me and Jun vs you and I am so sorry you had to feel that way. I think I can never apologize enough for that.

There’s like a bunch of other things that I wanna apologize for but I don’t want to make you read this long ass letter. If you’re willing, I’d like to meet in person and talk a bit more and maybe grovel at your feet (kidding but not really).

Sincerely,

Donghyuck

Mark folded up the letter and slipped it back into the envelope, then stuck his hands out towards Donghyuck. Confused, Donghyuck helped him to his feet (well, foot, technically) and watched as he hopped over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

“Well?” Mark prodded when Donghyuck didn’t move. “Go on, then.”

Now he was even more confused. Did Mark really want him to grovel at his feet? Well… he did say he would do it. He slowly got down on his knees and bowed his head.

“No, you idiot!” Mark exclaimed. “You said you wanted to talk.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck got up and sat down at the end of Mark’s bed, leaving half a foot of space between them. He played with the hem of his shirt as he spoke. “Ah. I really thought I was going to have more time to prepare but no time like the present, right?”

Mark did not look amused. Donghyuck felt the back of his neck prickle with sweat.

“I guess I’ll just start from the beginning…”

🏐

Renjun collapsed on the couch, his back and arm aching from the five hour practice. He’d been really behind on his violin lessons and his parents weren’t happy about it. He had a Christmas recital coming up, and then he was supposed to fly to Sydney with his orchestra to perform for some very important people. It was a huge honor and all that, but Renjun would rather spend the holidays with his boyfriend.

Or boyfriends, if his apology went well. After some careful consideration he decided to apologize in the only way he knew how — through food. He planned to make a few dishes to bring to Mark’s house and then maybe talk it out, if Mark was willing.

If he wasn’t, well. Renjun hoped he’d like his cooking at least.

“Dinner’s ready!” His mom called from the kitchen, so he forced himself up off the couch and sat down at the table with his parents.

“How was your rehearsal? Are you still second chair?”

Renjun sighed. “Yes, Dad. I’m still second chair. You know Kunhang is, like, a genius prodigy right?”

His mother bristled. “You could be too if you just practiced more!”

An age-old argument. His parents couldn’t fathom being comfortable as second best. But Renjun didn’t want solos. He didn’t want to shake the conductor’s hand. He didn’t want any of that pressure or responsibility.

Actually, he didn’t even want to play the violin. But he could never tell his parents that.

Renjun understood that his mother and father wanted what was best for him, but it was exhausting. Couldn’t he just be happy with simplicity?

He wished he could text Donghyuck, but they were trying to be less codependent, and he didn’t want to bother him over such a trivial matter. So he finished his dinner in sullen silence and escaped to his room under the guise of studying.

In the end, he ended up texting Hyuck anyway.

to: donghyuck

hope you’re having a better night than i am <3

from: donghyuck

things are looking up

talk later?

to: donghyuck

i look forward to it

Satisfied, he picked up his pen and began writing down all the things he planned to say to Mark. He hoped it sounded genuine. Maybe they wouldn’t go back to what they were before, but he at least wanted Mark to know that he was sorry.

His gaze flickered to the twenty dollar bill from the night Mark bought them McDonald’s, the one he had snuck into Renjun’s pocket. He had clipped it to the board above his desk as a reminder to treat Mark back.

“I miss him already,” Renjun sighed, burying his face in his arms crossed on his desk. If I could just turn back time…

Before he could get lost in his thoughts, his phone vibrated with a text. Figuring it might be Donghyuck, he quickly fumbled to pick it up.

from: mark

can we talk?

to: mark

ofc

when/where?

from: mark

the courtyard at lunch?

to: mark

i’ll be there

from: mark

okay

see you then renjunnie :)

Renjunnie, he mouthed, unable to take his eyes off the smiley face at the end of the text. Maybe he did have a chance to fix things after all.

to: donghyuck

i think things might be looking up for me too

🏀

“Renjun and I have only been together for two years,” was what Donghyuck started with.

Mark wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he had promised himself he was going to listen. Truthfully, he wasn’t even that angry anymore. Most of it had faded out leaving only the hurt, which was beginning to fade out with Donghyuck’s letter. Anyone else might think he was crazy, forgiving so easily, but how could he not?

Even when he was still kinda mad, he stopped feeling that way when he saw Donghyuck in the rain, and in the car when he said, “I can’t go home”. He thought back to the night where Renjun had begged him to get Donghyuck, and how he had shown up to the car with blood running down his face.

“When my parents passed away,” Donghyuck continued, “I didn’t really have any friends, and the ones I did have weren’t sure how to help, so they just kinda… avoided me. I entered high school without anyone. It was so scary, y’know? Everything was changing and I didn’t have anyone to change with me. All I had was volleyball.”

“At first, I didn’t even like Renjun. But as we played together, I realized he loved volleyball as much as I did, and that I would never have to choose between volleyball and him. Over time, though, he became my support. I wouldn’t exactly say that I’ve had the happiest life, but he was always there to make it better. We spent every single day together, and he was my lifeline.”

“I realize now that that’s unhealthy. I didn’t think about how depending on him to keep me going was unfair to him, and to me as well. I gotta be strong for myself, right?”

“Anyway,” Donghyuck took a deep breath, “my point is, Renjun and I have a lot of history. We also have a lot of flaws. We can’t do anything to change the former, but we’re trying to fix the latter. I’m sorry you had to get hurt in the process.”

“It was you, actually, who made me realize that I don’t want us to be RenjunandHyuck. I want it to be Renjun, and me, and you. Us three as individual cogs in a machine, instead of two halves of one whole part.”

“So, I’m asking you—begging you, really—can we please try again?”

Mark’s heart skipped a beat when Donghyuck looked at him with nothing but raw honesty. He didn’t know what he was expecting, when he asked his mom to pull over and he picked up Donghyuck from the rain, but it wasn’t this.

Sure, he figured that if they still wanted anything to do with him, they would apologize, but he didn’t expect that they would do it individually. He thought they’d do it together, like they did everything. But he realized now that Donghyuck was trying to apologize for himself and his mistakes, and that Renjun would probably do the same. They were trying to be less RenjunandHyuck. For his sake.

Donghyuck hadn’t even used a single ‘we’ in his letter.

“We don’t have to! Like, now. Or ever, really. No hard feelings! I mean, I’d be sad of course, but I would respect your decision—“

Mark clamped a hand over Donghyuck’s mouth to stop his rambling. “Sorry, I forgot to reply. Yes, we can try again, you dork.”

“Really?” Donghyuck lit up, and the second Mark let him go, he tackled him in a hug that knocked him flat on the bed. He groaned, but luckily Donghyuck hadn’t bumped his ankle so he wasn’t in too much pain. “Sorry, I got excited.”

Instead of replying, Mark wrapped his arms around Donghyuck’s waist. It had only been a few days, but he had missed this feeling.

“Hey,” Donghyuck mumbled a couple minutes later. “Can you let Renjun apologize too? He’s been working really hard on it.”

Mark laughed. “Yeah, of course. Tell him to hurry up, though.”

“Will do.”

Donghyuck tucked his face in Mark’s neck and they laid there in silence. Mark reached up to card his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair, still mostly damp. He should have forced him to get up and dry it properly, but he didn’t want to let him go.

“Hey,” he said, settling his hand at the nape of Hyuck’s neck. “I’m sorry, too. I overreacted and I could have communicated better, but I was hurt and I lashed out at you.”

“Noooo.” Donghyuck gently bonked their heads together. “You’re fine.” A heartbeat of silence, then, “Do you think dinner is ready? I’m kinda hungry.”

Mark laughed incredulously, then pushed at Donghyuck’s shoulder to make him get up before reaching for his crutches.

“Let’s go down and check.”

🏐

“Donghyuck, honey, do you want to stay the night?”

Donghyuck was helping Mark with the dishes when his mom came back into the kitchen with a toothbrush still in its package.

He thought back to the guys in his apartment, and wondered if they were still there. Wondered if he wanted to take that chance.

No way. It was safer here.

“Yes, please, if it’s not too much to ask.”

Mark lightly elbowed him in the side once his mom left. “Dude, it’s fine. She wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t, trust me.”

“Well, I don’t want to be rude!” Donghyuck squawked, flicking water into Mark’s face.

“Hey!” Mark scooped up a handful of soap bubbles and slapped them onto Donghyuck’s head. In retaliation, Donghyuck splashed the front of his shirt with soapy water.

“Boys, boys, enough!” Mark’s mom scolded. “Mark, go put your leg up. Donghyuck, drain the sink and then make sure Mark actually does it, please.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You two are going to give me gray hairs.”

“He started it!” Donghyuck and Mark accused simultaneously, before exchanging glances and bursting into giggles. Mark grabbed his crutches and went into the living room, and Donghyuck followed shortly after rinsing out the sink.

“I would offer to watch a movie or something, but I really gotta catch up on my schoolwork,” Mark said sheepishly, gesturing to the laptop and books he had spread on the coffee table.

“It’s fine, I should probably do my homework too,” Donghyuck admitted. “I’ve got three unit tests next week.”

He went back upstairs to Mark’s room and picked up his books from the floor. They were mostly dry by now and it looked like they weren’t damaged too badly despite being soaked which was great because he probably wouldn’t be able to afford new supplies. He picked up his pencil case and paused when he spotted his cloth bag.

“Oh shit, the plan,” Donghyuck groaned. He’d completely forgotten. When he peeked into the bag it was still wrapped in paper, which meant Mark hadn’t opened it. He scooped up the bag and brought it downstairs with him.

He paused in the doorway of the living room just to look at Mark — messy hair, glasses sliding down his nose, and rumpled clothing. Such a normal boy, but this boy had his heart in the palm of his hand.

“Hey, prop your leg up before your mom gets mad.”

Mark groaned, but dragged the ottoman closer to him and propped up his leg. He had changed from baggy sweats to shorts while Donghyuck was in the shower, fully revealing his cast. It was plain white, so Donghyuck dropped his pencil case on the table and took out his colourful permanent markers.

“I’m gonna draw on your cast,” Donghyuck announced. Mark gave him a dismissive wave, his nose already buried in a textbook. Donghyuck took it as a sign of permission and sat on his other side. He wasn’t much of an artist, but the blank cast was making him upset. Has no one asked to sign it?

He spent the better part of an hour doodling all over Mark’s cast, drawing anything he could think of. At the end, he sat back and admired his work. His cast was no longer white, but a rainbow of colours.

It was when he was putting his markers back that he finally remembered the clipboard again. He took it out of the bag and tried to smooth out the wrapping paper, though it looked messy anyway because Donghyuck didn’t know how to wrap things.

“Mark,” he called, pouting when Mark didn’t look up from his notes. “Maaark. Mark!”

Mark startled, finally looking up. He took his glasses off and scrubbed a hand down his face, tossing his lenses on the table. “Sorry, Hyuckie, this shit is just stressing me out.”

“It’s okay.” Donghyuck felt bad for interrupting, but not enough to let him get back to work. Instead, he handed over his gift.

“For me?” Mark looked surprised.

“Ah.” Donghyuck scratched the back of his head. “It was supposed to be an apology gift. I had a three step plan.”

He suddenly felt nervous as Mark began unwrapping the gift. “Oh, Hyuck, this is—“

“I made it in shop class!” He blurted out. “Um, Renjun painted the back though because I’m not really a great artist as you can tell by the,” he gestured lamely to Mark’s cast, “you know. But I wanted to make something myself and also you use that ugly school clipboard during volleyball practices. It’s got a pen holder, see?”

He leaned in closer to show Mark the little strap on the side, and when he looked up, he realized their faces were really close together. Like, close enough that he could count Mark’s eyelashes if he wanted to.

“Um,” he said eloquently, and before he could move away, Mark cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I was trying to take things slow, but you make it impossible to resist,” Mark murmured against his lips. Donghyuck whimpered and pressed closer, twisting his hands in the fabric of Mark’s shirt. He had missed this, had missed Mark, and every second made his head spin.

“I take it you like it then?” Donghyuck joked when they pulled apart. Mark rolled his eyes, but he dug into his backpack on the floor for the notepad and pen he used for his volleyball notes and attached them to the clipboard.

“I love it, Donghyuck. Thank you.”

🏐

Renjun was just adding the last touches to the lunch he had prepared as his apology to Mark when his phone lit up with a FaceTime call from Donghyuck. He quickly boxed up the lunchboxes and clipped them together before sticking it in the fridge, then dashing over to his phone to accept the call.

“Hi baby,” he greeted when Donghyuck’s face filled the screen.

“Hi! I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Donghyuck replied.

“Nope, just finished cooking actually.”

“This late?” Renjun nodded. “Oh! The thing for Mark, right?”

“Yup.” He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down, finally noticing Donghyuck’s surroundings. “You’re not at home?” Donghyuck’s walls were beige, and the room he was in was painted a soft blue.

“About that.” There was some rustling on the other end as Donghyuck shifted in bed. “I’m actually at Mark’s house.”

Renjun’s jaw dropped. “You’re what?”

“It’s a long story. But I did get through my three step plan. Well, kinda,” Donghyuck said.

“Your what?”

“My apology,” Donghyuck said impatiently. “Come on, Jun, keep up.”

“Sorry, I’m still stuck on the fact that you’re at Mark’s house!” Renjun hissed, trying to keep it down so he wouldn’t disturb his parents who were watching a documentary in the living room. “What the hell happened after school?”

“Well.” Donghyuck shifted around again. “He kinda saved me, I guess? I’ll tell you the story another time. But anyway, he read my letter and we talked and I gave him the clipboard. Oh, and he kissed me!”

“He kissed you?!” Renjun repeated. “Jesus, Hyuck, you have to tell me everything.”

“I will, I will!” Donghyuck said excitedly. “Anyway, his mom put me in the guest room. Mark says we can’t share a bed cause he needs room for his leg. It’s in a big cast.” He pouted at the camera. “Poor baby, I feel so bad.”

“Me too.” Renjun left the kitchen and headed to his room, flopping down on his bed. “I’m supposed to meet him at lunch tomorrow.”

“Are you nervous?”

Donghyuck was teasing, but Renjun nodded anyway. “Yeah, a little bit.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s face visibly softened. “You don’t have to be nervous, Injunnie. If he was still mad I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I know,” Renjun groaned, half hiding his face in a pillow. “It’s just important to me. He’s important to me.”

“Me too,” Donghyuck said, “I really like him, Renjun.”

“Has he been good to you?” Renjun asked, teasing as always.

“So good,” Donghyuck replied with a dramatic sigh. “We can’t mess this up again.”

“We won’t.” Despite being on call, Renjun stuck up his pinkie in a promise. Grinning, Donghyuck did the same back.

“Anyway, what happened tonight? Sounded like you were having a hard time for a while.”

“Oh. Uh, give me one sec.” Renjun darted outside to see if his parents were still watching their documentary, and was met with the slightly too loud volume of the television because they didn’t want to admit they were losing their hearing. He went back inside and closed his door, twisting the lock and returning to his bed. “Okay, back, sorry. Had to check if my parents were there.”

“Is it your parents?” More rustling as Donghyuck threw his covers off, sitting up in bed. “You should tell Mark, too.”

Renjun blinked. “What? Why?”

“Because,” Donghyuck sighed impatiently, “if we want to do this properly, he has to know everything we know about each other. That includes your parents.”

“Does he wanna listen to me complain about my strict parents?”

“Let’s find it.” Renjun watched as Donghyuck left the room, the lighting changing in the hall that he recognized, the one outside of Mark’s room.

Donghyuck threw the door open unceremoniously. “Renjun wants to talk about his parents.”

He switched the camera so Renjun could see Mark, sitting up in bed with his leg propped up on a pillow and a book in his hands. His hair was a wild mess and his eyes looked wide behind his glasses. He looked adorable. Renjun had missed him.

“Okay?” Mark said, sounding confused. He slid a bookmark between the pages of his novel and placed it on the night table.

“Scoot over,” Renjun heard Donghyuck say, and the camera was left facing the ceiling as Donghyuck presumably climbed into Mark’s bed. Finally, Donghyuck picked up the phone again and held it so both him and Mark were in view of the camera.

“Okay, ready,” Donghyuck announced as if they were waiting for him to read them a bedtime story.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Renjun said.

“It is if it’s upsetting you,” Mark murmured, in typical Mark fashion. Renjun hadn’t even apologized to him, but it was evident in his voice, in his words, that Mark had already forgiven him.

Renjun sighed, pulling his blanket over his legs and settling back against the pillows at his headboard. Donghyuck and Mark had their heads pressed together to fit in the camera view, and it made Renjun smile despite himself.

“Ah, I feel like I’m really making a mountain out of a molehill here,” he said sheepishly. “It’s just… I feel like my parents have this image of the son they want me to be, and I just can’t live up to that.”

“Dude, your parents are kinda crazy. I know they want what’s best for you but they expect too much. You’re already doing the best you can. Stop killing yourself trying to meet their expectations,” Donghyuck lectured, like Renjun knew he would.

“It’s just hard,” Renjun sighed. “I want to do well for them, and I love them so much, but sometimes I feel like they don’t even care that I’m trying.”

“You should really talk to them, Injunnie,” Donghyuck said softly. “I know it’s scary and I know you don’t want to let them down, but it’s getting to be too much.”

“You don’t want to burn out,” Mark added. “If you keep going like this, you may end up resenting your parents.”

Renjun definitely didn’t want that, but Mark was right. He could imagine that if the stress was already taking a toll on their relationship, that things would only get worse. He’d always been close with his parents, and they had been pretty supportive about his volleyball career and his romantic life, so perhaps if he took the time to really explain what was going on, they’d understand.

The thought of having that conversation terrified him, though. How could he ever hope to convey to his parents what was going on in his head if he didn’t understand it himself? What if they got mad?

What if they would be disappointed in him?”

“Hey,” Donghyuck said loudly, breaking him from his thoughts. “Whatever you’re thinking, Huang Renjun, stop it now. Everything will be fine.”

“Hyuck and I can help you figure out what you want to say, too,” Mark added, his smile nothing but encouraging. “You’re not alone in this.”

God, Renjun didn’t deserve them.

“Thank you,” he replied bashfully, ducking his head to hide his flushed cheeks.

“What is it that your parents are making you do, anyway?” Mark asked curiously.

“Besides school? Uhh, violin, mostly. I’m on the robotics team every spring. Then of course there’s volleyball, and I take a college level Physics class—“

“Renjun, that’s too much!” Mark exclaimed, concern etched across his face. “You’re gonna burn out if you keep juggling so many things. How do you even have time for hobbies?”

“Well, I do take an art class,” Renjun said.

“That’s not for a grade or extracurricular.”

“Um…”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Renjun sighed. “I wanted to bring this up tomorrow, but I guess I should talk about it now.” He brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping one arm around them as he held the phone up with the other. “The reason why Hyuck and I work so we—wait, where is Hyuckie?” He hadn’t even realized Donghyuck had disappeared from the frame.

“Uhh.” Mark adjusted the camera so Donghyuck could be seen. He was passed out against Mark’s pillow despite having spoken only a few minutes ago. “He just fell asleep, I dunno.”

“It used to drive me crazy when he did that,” Renjun said fondly. “He’d just… pass out in the middle of our conversations. I got used to it, but it never fails to surprise me.”

“So much for not sharing a bed,” Mark sighed, though Renjun didn’t miss how he brushed a lock of hair out of Donghyuck’s eyes. “Anyway, what were you saying?”

“Oh! Um.” Renjun thought back. “Right, so me and Hyuck… he’s never been bothered by the fact that I rarely have free time. Like, I know we’ve been doing dates and stuff but that’s mostly because it’s still the beginning of the year. Once we get our midterms…” He didn’t even want to think about it. “Winter’s not usually so busy, but the second half of the year is the worst. But Donghyuck’s always tolerated it. That’s one of the reasons I became so dependent on him, you know? Like, he was my only social life. It was too hard to maintain close friendships so I just… didn’t.”

Mark nodded, attentive as always, waiting for Renjun to continue. He had to take a moment to plan out his next words.

“I never had to try with him. But with you… I mean, I want to try. I want to be able to spend time with you, and you and Hyuck together. I don’t want you to have to just tolerate my schedule. And I think this desire is what’s keeping me from showing every part of me, because I’m afraid that you’ll turn away from me. Like, this fear is probably what led me to fuck up. That, and the fact that I had never tried to care about anyone except for Hyuck before you, so I… I didn’t know how.”

“But I do, I mean. I care about you a lot. So much that I don’t really know what to do with myself.” Renjun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry. For not showing you that I care, and for not paying attention when you needed me to.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” Mark said suddenly, and Renjun vehemently shook his head.

“Please, don’t apologize for something so small. Just… accept mine. My apology.”

“I do,” Mark said sincerely, and relief rushed through Renjun’s entire body. He sagged back against the pillows, letting go of tension that he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Renjun, I… I really care about you too. Thank you for your apology.”

“I did it all wrong,” Renjun said with a little sigh. “I was supposed to give you lunch and grovel a bit.”

“Lunch?” Mark perked up, tilting his head like a curious puppy. “You made me lunch?”

“I did. I was gonna give it to you tomorrow,” Renjun explained.

“Oh!” Mark looked delighted. “Well, you can still give me lunch since you went through all that effort. We can eat lunch together, if you want.”

“Of course I want to!” Renjun blurted out, then flushed when he realized how eager he sounded. “I… I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Mark told him, so sincerely that Renjun kind of felt like crying. “Hey, Renjun?”

“Yeah?”

“Be kinder to yourself, okay?”

Renjun laughed nervously. “What’s that about?”

“Just…” Mark looked embarrassed, but forged on, “you’re carrying such a heavy burden right now. Don’t work too hard. Let yourself rest, and Hyuck and I will be around to help you deal with any consequences.”

God.

Renjun must have saved a country in his past life, to have someone like Mark Lee want to be with him.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Thanks, Mark.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you gonna go to bed soon? It’s getting a bit late.”

“I dunno,” Renjun sighed. “I’m still feeling kind of down. How about you?”

“Nah, I still got reading to catch up on.” He reached for something out of frame and came back with the book he was holding earlier.

“Would you mind… I mean, do you think we could stay on call? We don’t have to talk or anything, I just—“

“Don’t wanna be alone? Don’t worry, I get it. I can read to you, if you want?”

“Yeah.” Renjun laid down properly, resting his head on his pillow and pulling his blanket up to his chin. “I’d really, really like that.”

So Mark read to him — a tale about a group of pirates at sea and the tribulations they faced. Renjun couldn’t really follow along, but the story didn’t really matter to him.

Just Mark’s voice, low and steady, lulling him to a deep and dreamless sleep.

🏐

“Good morning, sweetie. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Donghyuck left the bathroom after helping Mark into the tub only to bump straight into Mark’s mom. It was still really early in the morning, but Mark needed extra time to get clean. Donghyuck had already spent ten minutes taping bags around Mark’s cast so it wouldn’t get wet.

“Am I in trouble?” Donghyuck joked warily, but Mark’s mom immediately shook her head.

“No, dear! Not at all,” she insisted. “I have a job offer for you, actually.”

Oh? “A job offer?”

“I have to return to Japan tomorrow, and unfortunately that means leaving Mark behind. I want to take him with me, but he is stubborn and doesn’t want to miss out on school.” At this, they both shared a smile, both knowing that convincing Mark to do anything he didn’t want to was like pulling teeth. “I was wondering if you could look after the house while I’m gone? With his ankle, Mark won’t be able to.”

“You want me to babysit Mark?” Donghyuck asked.

“I want you to house sit,” she corrected. “Mark will just happen to be in the house. It would be paid, of course. I’ll only be gone for one more week. You’re welcome to stay in the guest room or… wherever you’re comfortable.”

Donghyuck blushed. She clearly knew that he had accidentally crashed in Mark’s bed after passing out on FaceTime with Renjun last night.

“Ah, I don’t know if Mark would be okay with me staying…”

Mark’s mom looked amused. “He was the one who suggested it, actually. So you’re in, right? Do you prefer cash or check?”

“Uhh, cash? But you don’t have to pay me, Ms. Lee.” Donghyuck’s head was spinning. Mark’s mom was a force to be reckoned with. He was beginning to see where Mark got it from.

“Nonsense,” she waved him off. “If you’re gonna do a job, you’ll get paid for it. Here you are, darling.” She handed him a white envelope, and he took it without thinking. “The cleaning supplies are in the cabinet in the hallway. Mark can show you where anything is if you need help. My phone number is on the fridge if you have any questions. I must get going now, I have a conference call in ten minutes.”

She disappeared into what was presumably her bedroom, leaving Donghyuck standing there with an open mouth and an envelope in his hand. Curious, he peered inside and nearly choked when he saw how much money was in there. He counted fourteen fifty dollar bills. Mark’s mom was paying him a hundred dollars a day to look after Mark and clean up the house?

He barged into the bathroom without knocking, startling Mark enough that he yelped and bumped over a few bottles that were on the edge of the bathtub.

“Your mom is insane!” He blurted out.

“Oh, did she talk to you about the house sitting? It’s kinda a mess, I didn’t really clean much haha. I’m sorry I won’t be able to help you,” Mark said, going back to lathering his hair in shampoo.

“Just… why did you even suggest it?”

Mark looked up at him. “Are you mad? She needed a house sitter and I didn’t want some random stranger here. I really appreciate you saying yes, you know. I wouldn’t have been able to manage on my own.”

Flustered, Donghyuck averted his gaze. “Yeah, well. I would have done it for free.”

“I know,” Mark said, grinning mischievously. “But, hey, it’ll basically be like a week-long sleepover!”

It was at this moment that it clicked for Donghyuck. Mark had suggested for him to house sit because he didn’t want Donghyuck to have to go back to his apartment. He hadn’t told Mark exactly what had gone down that night, but Mark had clearly managed to put together bits and pieces, and hadn’t liked the picture he was making.

And here he was, saving Donghyuck again. Even inside this bathroom, Mark was telling him to get in the car, taking him out of the rain.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replied, his heart racing as the realization of what he was feeling dawned on him. “It’ll be fun.”

There was no doubt about it. Maybe it was too fast, but he couldn’t even bring himself to care. How had Bella Swan from Twilight put it?

Oh yeah.

He was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Mark Lee.