Chapter Text
Saturday, 11:34 AM
hu tao: hey guys im having a special meet n greet qna in this gc
aether: who are we meeting
hu tao: me
xiao: wtf do we do ???? we already know u???
hu tao: idk just ask me questions im hella bored and running on 3 hours of sleep
venti: poopoopeepee
hu tao: LITERALLY SO TRUE omg i've been thinking abt this forever but i didn't know how to put it into words tysm for saying this
venti: i shat my pants bro :[
hu tao: just ask xiao to clean them for u???
xiao: what
xiao: venti what
xiao: venti did you actually
venti: ehe
hu tao: what abt my qna.
albedo: i have two questions.
hu tao: ask away mate
albedo: what is the meaning of life?
hu tao: to eat pussy and die
albedo: interesting. i shall make a note of this.
venti: LMAOOOOO
albedo: my other question.
albedo: what question should we all ask ourselves?
hu tao: idk man i know ur looking for something deep but i think we should ask ourselves whether we wipe enough after the toilet
xingqiu: POP OFFFFF
Zhongli: Hello Hu Tao. I just received a notification from this group chat and I too, have a question.
hu tao: whats poppin
Zhongli: Are you afraid of loneliness?
hu tao: no im scared of bees
lisa: why are boobs so versatile like someone can have big chungus boobies and someone else can have washboard typa boobies
hu tao: very interesting lisa i love all boobs equally
mona: thats gay
hu tao: ok and
yanfei: nothing stops me from absorbing all you hold dear
hu tao: fucking do it id like to see u absorb the Abell 2029 galaxy cluster
yanfei: what
hu tao: what
beidou: tf is the bell 29 galaxy cluster
hu tao: ...
ningguang: whats ur favorite letter
hu tao: uhhh idk but probably h
lisa: h for horny
jean: Lisa, I think Hu Tao meant 'H' as in her name; because her name starts with the letter 'H'
lisa: jean thats so gay
jean: I'm only gay for you :)
hu tao: i want a gf :(((
venti: we know, hu tao
yanfei: i want a gf :(((
xingqiu: if you and hu tao both want a gf then date each other boom problem solved
beidou: date hu tao date hu tao date hu tao date hu tao date hu tao
ningguang: YOU AND HU TAO ARE SO GAY JUST DATE OMGGGG
hu tao: ight wots all this then
yanfei: dots
xinyan: useless sapphics smh
hu tao: shakes head
venti: what do i have to do to get you to date
yanfei: laughs
beidou: hu tao and yanfei best friends to best friends not best friends to lovers they just stay at best friends❤️
hu tao: LITERALLLY
venti: you and yanfei gay
hu tao: yanfeis my bestie guys !!!
xingqiu: cmon we all know u and yanfei like each other and r dating stop hiding it !!!!
hu tao: @yanfei apparently we're dating now
kaeya: omg r u gonna kith kith yanfei
yanfei: looks around
tortilla: can you and hu tao just shut up and date already
hu tao: so true
venti: ok but what happens when you and yanfei actually start dating
hu tao: idk man
venti: would you date yanfei tho
hu tao: mmmmmmaybe
venti: do you actually have a crush on yanfei
hu tao: yeah i actually want to kiss her x
xingqiu: then why wont u and yanfei date
hu tao: got some personal issues im working on x
yanfei: what if i liked u
hu tao: what if i thought u were pretty
yanfei: omg
kazuha: can you two just date already im sick of all the queerbaiting
hu tao: yanfei ur pretty cool methinks
yanfei: ur so pretty is not fair
hu tao: debby ryan face
hu tao: hey yanfei im ur gay crush
yanfei: hello lets get this show on the road then
hu tao: <3 want to be my gf
yanfei: <3 yes
venti: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO A WIN FOR THE GAYS
xingqiu: WOOOOOO
Zhongli: Congratulations, Hu Tao and Yanfei.
beidou: gay people real
ningguang: gay people real
lumine: gay people real
amber: gay people real
venti: gay people real
tortilla: gay people real
xiao: gay people real
lisa: gay people real
aether: gay people real
kaeya: gay people real
xingqiu: gay people real
venti: i kinda miss seeing u bitch about wanting a gf
hu tao: times have changed i no longer need to yearn