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Oleander

Chapter 6: I have died every day waiting for you

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"He's not staying in the brig," Rewind snapped. 

"He commandeered the ship," Rodimus gestured, "He assaulted the crew and tried to change history."

"And he can have his trial whenever you want to have it," Rewind asserted, "But he doesn't have to stay in the brig. He's already played his hand. You took the time machine apart, what's he going to do?"

"Rewind-"

"He's not a danger and he's not a flight risk, there's nowhere for him to go," Rewind continued, unabated. "Just let him go back to his room and sleep without bars over him. Whatever punishment you end up giving him, whatever he's feeling right now is going to be worse."

Rodimus looked at him dubiously, clearly unwilling to budge but remiss to keep arguing with him. 

Minimus sighed. Still in his armour, which Rewind found annoying, but he had other things on his mind. "I have to agree, Rodimus. We only have the one cell, and it's better used than holding him. We can release him on bond awaiting trial."

"He attacked the crew!" Rodimus insisted, "I have to do something or it will look like we don't think that matters!"

"He can't stay in his room anyway," Rewind sighed, "I can watch him. I could use his help with Domey, anyway."

"You aided and abetted," Rodimus said, crossing his arms and narrowing his optics.

Rewind raised his arms in a shrug. "Nobody else knows that."

"Ugh." Rodimus pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Fine. Fine. I know you're right. Just… keep him busy until we can have his trial, alright, I don't want him walking around looking like he's got off scott free from all this. Imagine how you would feel if someone poisoned you and then we just chose not to punish them for it."

"I understand," Rewind said, relieved, "Thank you, Rodimus." He paused and glanced at the other mech lingering behind him. "Minimus."

Minimus nodded.

 


 

"You're staying with us," Rewind announced, crossing his arms in the doorway.

Brainstorm looked up from where he was sitting and blinked. Chromedome spoke before he could.

"Me?"

"He means me," Brainstorm hushed him. "Who is 'us?' You're moving in with Chromedome?"

"Of course. I can't believe you let him live alone."

"I checked on him!" Brainstorm said indignantly, "He's fine with day to day stuff, he didn't need to be supervised."

"Yeah, no, I meant because he gets so lonely he wants to die," Rewind said dryly, "Yes. I'm moving back in. And so are you, Rodimus said you don't have to stay in the brig if you stay with us and I keep an eye on you."

Brainstorm blinked and then looked away uncomfortably, down at the floor.

Chromedome was frowning at him, visibly deep in thought before he looked up at Rewind. "Who are you?"

"I'm your conjunx."

"I have a conjunx?"

"Yes, he's your conjunx," Brainstorm confirmed with a sigh, leaning his chin in his hand and his elbow on his knee. Chromedome blinked and sat up straight.

"Oh," he said slowly, before his voice took on a surprised-but-delighted lilt, "I have a conjunx." 

"You don't have to do this," Brainstorm sighed. "I'll be fine in the brig." 

"You've known me too long to think you're going to win this argument if you make it one," Rewind said, setting his hands on his hips, "You're going to accept my help, you're going to say 'thank you rewind' and then you're going to get me up to speed on Domey and his needs. Got it?"

Brainstorm looked up at him, chuckled wearily and hung his head with a tired nod. He pushed himself to his feet and offered Chromedome a hand.

 


 

Rewind was somewhat proud of himself for his response to Chromedome jerking out of sleep and sitting bolt upright in berth- he just rolled neatly to the side and sat up, already rushing through hushed whispers reminding him where he was, that it was okay. Things like this were muscle memory.

"No, I-" Chromedome rasped, burying his visor in his hand, "I'm not-"

"Shh, shh, Domey, it's alright," Rewind soothed, "Everything is fine. You're in your room. You're safe. The war is over. It's alright."

The bigger mech's frame was shaking beneath Rewind's servo's and he drew his hand down his face, turning his head to look at him. "I'm… do I know you? What's going on?"

"You know me," Rewind assured him gently, "I'm your conjunx. Rewind. You had a nightmare."

Chromedome twitched, narrowing his visor at him, still trembling. "Ah," he said, slowly, "Right. Yeah. Rewind. I remember."

Rewind didn't let his face fall, even if it stung. "I know you don't. It's alright. You don't have to pretend."

Chromedome flinched. "I'm sorry."

"Forgiven," Rewind assured him. "You're okay. You're safe, I promise."

Chromedome tightened his arms against his body, drawing his legs up to his chest. He glanced around the room and found Brainstorm laying in the berth against the far wall, eyeing him silently. He waved. Chromedome relaxed.

"Do you want me to push the beds apart?" Rewind asked, "Give you some space?" 

Chromedome turned back to him and dimmed his visor in thought, glanced away, glanced back. "Is… it selfish to say no?" 

"No." Rewind reached up toward his face and Chromedome let his cheek rest against his palm. "I love you. Very much. It's okay if you don't remember. You can just feel it."

"I'm sorry," Chromedome whispered.

"Forgiven," Rewind repeated. "You're alright."

"I'm alright?" Chromedome repeated uncertainly. Rewind nodded.

"You're alright. I've got you."

 


 

"And then I accused him of sleeping with you."

"No!" Chromedome gasped, "Was he?" 

"No!" Rewind laughed. He tilted the other mech's head gently to the side so that he could reach another screw at the base of his helm to tighten. "No, never. I'm just a jealous bitch." 

"Aw. I'm sure you're not that bad."

"Oh, no, I'm the worst," Rewind snorted. "An absolute mess. I've always been that way. It's a work in progress."

"But you're doing better?"

"Than I was before, yeah, I'd say so."

"Then that's all that matters, right?"

Rewind nodded. "That's all that matters. One day at a time." 

"Thank you for helping me with maintenance," Chromedome said, "I usually get Brainstorm to do it, but…"

"You don't get him to do it enough," Rewind tutted. "How often do you two sit down and do this?"

Chromedome squinted in thought. "I don't think we have a routine. I think we just do it whenever I notice it needs to get done." 

Rewind sighed. "I used to help you tighten these once a week."

"Once a week?" Chromedome repeated, "Every week?" 

"Mhmm."

"Oh, wow," Chromedome said softly, "Thank you. That sounds like a lot of work."

"A lot of work for you, too," Rewind commented, "On that note, remind me to start reminding Brainstorm about his maintenance, if he's not remembering to do yours, he's definitely not remembering to do his, either."

"He's forged," Chromedome commented, "He doesn't need to do this kind of maintenance."

"He actually admitted that was a lie," Rewind reminded him, "He was an MTO."

"Oh," Chromedome gasped, "Wow. That- wow. Okay."

Rewind nodded patiently. It was the third time he'd told him this, and it hadn't stuck yet. "So, we're going to start doing this on a schedule and see if it won't stick for you, right? And I'll try to remember to remind him when we do. We can make it a horrible, embarrassing little maintenance party."

Chromedome laughed. "He'd hate that. Thank you."

Rewind leaned forward to hug his neck. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes!" Chromedome agreed emphatically, and turned his head to accept.

Rewind sighed, melting into it, letting himself rememorize the taste and feel of his conjunx. He pulled away. "I love you."

"I know," Chromedome said softly,""Thank you."

"You don't have to say it back," Rewind reminded him, "I just want you to know."

"No, I want to," Chromedome argued, "I might not recognize you, but…" He reached up to cup Rewind's face and lean their foreheads together. "But I can feel it. You. I look at you, and- I don't know why, but I'm home. I love you. I know I do." 

Rewind sniffled and offlined his visor. "My Domey. My perfect, precious Domey."

 


 

Rewind woke quietly, for once. No nightmares, for him or for Domey and apparently not for their new roommate over on his own berth, either. Rewind wasn't sure, but it seemed like Domey had fewer nightmares now than he ever did before. Maybe, just maybe, some of the worst memories had gone, along with the better ones. 

Chromedome was still asleep, chest moving slowly as he vented in and out. His frame was warm, and his arm was heavy where it was cast over Rewind's side. He shifted and buried his face further into Chromedome's shoulder with a sigh.

"Five more minutes," Chromedome murmured. 

Rewind chuckled breathily, spark swelling.

"Go back to sleep, Domey," he whispered, "You can have more than five minutes. We don't have anywhere we need to be."

Chromedome nodded sleepily. He pulled Rewind closer, burying his face in the top of his helm.

"Rewind," he mumbled.

"That's right," Rewind said softly, "That's me." 

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