Chapter Text
It was a bright day, although a little colder than what Reki was used to. He shivered.
"Cold?" Kaoru smirked.
"..I'm not used to it, c'mon," Reki replied, looking at him sideways.
"You're getting married outside, which will be colder. Suck it up. It's really not that cold, though. You'll be fine," Kaoru teased, punching him lightly.
Reki smiled back at him, a small panic setting in as he remembered. A wedding. His wedding. He was going to get married. Not just to anyone, of course, but to Langa, who he had nearly lost over two years prior. Sometimes, the thought of losing Langa kept Reki up at night. It haunted him, and he would sometimes wake up drenched in sweat and shaking because he had dreamt of a world where Langa wasn't alive, where he hadn't survived. Reki straightened his tie and patted down his suit, looking in the mirror anxiously.
"Calm down, you look great. This is a big day, but you're gonna do fine. If anything happens, I'll be right by your side, remember?" Kaoru reassured him, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. They shared a smile before the pink-haired man spoke again, "Ah, well, I'll leave you alone for a few minutes. I'll come get you when it's time, hm? Call me if you need me."
Kaoru exited the room, waving as he went. As soon as the door clicked shut, Reki rubbed his face tiredly and stared into the mirror. I'm getting married. I'm really getting married.. and I'm getting married to Langa. I really.. didn't think this day would come.
They were in Canada. Everyone who was invited to the wedding had flown over from wherever they lived, which pretty much was just from Okinawa. After all, they were keeping it pretty small and personal for their own safety. As Reki had always known, their marriage would not be legally recognised in Japan. However, he just wanted to marry Langa, so even though it was sad, he wasn't too distraught over it.
It had been around two years since Langa initially got out of the hospital after he collapsed, and a lot had changed. As Langa suggested, him and Reki started their relationship from the beginning again. They went on dates, did whatever they wanted, and they finally had a somewhat normal relationship. However, they were engaged the whole time, so it wasn't exactly normal. They decided they would just get married whenever they felt ready and would stay engaged otherwise. In fact, Reki enjoyed it a lot. They didn't need to plan a wedding, and he could try and get on with life as usual, so he wasn't stressed. The two men ended up buying a house together close by where the parlour was, so that Reki could still work easily, and life was good. Of course, Langa was still away a lot for work, but he gradually made enough money from doing fewer shoots so that he could stay home more often.
It took almost a year for Langa to make a full recovery, and when that day came, Reki was prouder than he'd ever been before.
"Reki," Langa said, "I.. I did it."
Reki looked up at Langa from where he was sitting curled up on their couch, a little distracted, "Hm?"
"The doctor said I've recovered fully, and I only need to go for one more check-up and then I don't need to go again!" Langa exclaimed, his eyes bright and sparkling.
Realisation hit Reki, and he jumped up excitedly, wrapping his arms tight around his fiancé. He spoke to him in a voice that he didn't realise was soft, and said, "I'm so proud of you.. You worked really hard for this."
"I'm proud of myself too," Langa beamed, hugging him back tightly. After a while of this, they finally peeled themselves away from each other, and Langa said, "I.. decided that, since I have a few days off, I'm going to try to learn to cook. And bake. Just.. as much as I can! I barely know how to cook anything, since normally food is provided for me at a shoot, or my mom made food, but I never really.. ate alone, so I never had the need to learn that much."
His voice wobbled a bit towards the end, showing his insecurity. It wasn't at all surprising, considering that he had been suffering with eating disorders for a long time, and then struggled to recover for a long time as well. Reki had to admit that it always made him nervous how close he had been to losing Langa. Although he knew they weren't as close as they were back then than they were at present, it wouldn't have devastated him any less to lose him.
"Well," Reki started, taking Langa's hand, "Try not to burn the place down, and don't start trying to cook really complex things, okay? Take it slow for now. And hey, I expect that one day when I get home from work, you're already making dinner for us ..I'm joking-! Don't do that. It would be more fun for us to make something together!"
"We could bake a cake, that's fun," the blue-haired man said, smiling, "And don't worry, I'll try not to burn the house down, but I can't promise anything.."
"Langa!" Reki scolded, hitting his hand lightly before pressing a light kiss onto his cheek, "If you're planning to burn something, at least do it with me. Anything can be a couples' activity if you try hard enough, I guess."
"..." Langa looked at him sideways, "We're not going to commit arson together."
"I didn't say-"
"Hey, you didn't even mention our house when you talked about burning something. I think you're just a pyromaniac."
"Would you still love me if I was?" Reki teased.
"..Yes, now stop talking about it," Langa said, pushing him playfully. Reki smiled and laughed, a shadow of a thought flashing through his mind. It hurt to think about, but it didn't keep him from wondering what his life would have been like if Langa had died.
However, in those two years before their wedding, that wasn't the only thing that happened. Something perhaps more notable was that fact that Reki, after so many years of holding in his emotions and feelings, finally felt encouraged enough to actually go to someone about it. Namely, a psychologist. He and Langa decided that they would start trying to recover together, so when Langa was trying to recover from his eating disorders properly, Reki was going to a psychologist. However, even after Langa recovered, Reki didn't stop seeing his psychologist. After all, it's not so easy to heal years of trauma. The first session with his psychologist had gone better than he initially thought it would.
"Reki. I'm Doctor Mizutani, and I'll be your psychologist starting from today. Please, have a seat and make sure you're comfortable," a tall man said warmly, welcoming him into his office. Reki nodded in compliance, smiling slightly, and sat down a little awkwardly in the chair closest to himself.
"I, uh, have a lot of different things to talk about, I don't really.. know what to say," Reki rolled out awkwardly, his cheeks burning from how stupid he sounded.
"That's perfectly fine, don't worry! If there's anything that pushed you to contact me, you can talk about that. If there was nothing in particular that made you, just start with what you're most comfortable with," Mizutani said, his voice level and comforting. It was the kind of voice that made you want to trust the speaker, which Reki supposed was a good thing if you were a psychologist.
Unable to think of anything else, Reki just complied and said, "Well, uh, me and my fiancé both have stuff to work on, so we decided to kind of start working on that around the same time as a way of.. helping to encourage each other? I'm not sure. But we both got pushed to it by.. the same event."
"What kind of event was it?"
"..He nearly died," Reki said, "My fiancé, I mean. I guess it made both of us try harder to get better.."
As soon as he said this, Reki abruptly shut his mouth. Not only had he outed himself by accident, but he didn't know if Mizutani was accepting. Sometimes, he forgot that homophobia existed. That was purely because of how accepted he was within the people he communicated with. It always felt like a cold bucket of water had been poured on his head whenever he remembered about it. However, Mizutani was not angry. He did not yell; he did not shout. In fact, all he said was, "It's good that you have the kind of relationship in which you can support each other like that."
Reki laughed slightly, his heart still beating abnormally from the scare he'd had, "Yeah, I guess so.."
"You said that he nearly died. How did that affect you and your relationship, as well as your mental health?"
"It was pretty rough," he admitted, "But he survived, and so it wasn't the worst. I don't know how bad I'd be if he had died. Like I, uh, said earlier.. It pushed me to want to get help.. for myself. I don't.. I don't think I'm always the most positive person, if I put it nicely, I guess."
"As in.. You think the worst is going to happen?" Doctor Mizutani asked carefully, cocking his head slightly.
"..No, not like that. I think I'm just very.. self-destructive. By nature, and it got worse because of stuff in my childhood, I think," Reki said, nervousness creeping into his voice. The last thing he wanted was for Mizutani to openly judge him for it, although he knew it would go against his training. But Mizutani's face showed no sign of judgement, so after a moment of contemplation, Reki continued, "I have three younger sisters, and I kind of always had to take care of them because my mom had to work to earn enough money for us to, well, survive, I guess. My grandmother also lived with us for a while before she died, and my dad was never really in the picture. He left while my mom was still pregnant with my two youngest sisters. They're twins. Anyway, I was kind of just left responsible for most things."
"Roughly how long were you in that kind of role, and how old were you the entire time?" he asked, his brows furrowing a little as he asked that.
Reki opened his mouth and began to speak, "Well, now that I think about it.."
By the end of the first session, Reki felt a little like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It had felt good to just talk about it, and he felt considerably happier than he had been before. He continued to see Mizutani even past when Langa had recovered, purely because it helped him to talk about things that happened in his childhood, and it was good to know that he had a safe space where he could talk about whatever he was stressed or worried about. And so, the day before the wedding, Reki spoke on the phone with Mizutani.
Reki and Langa, as well as most of the other guests, arrived in Canada a few days before the wedding to prepare themselves. Because of this, there was no way Reki would have been able to speak to Mizutani before the wedding. After all, Reki felt that it was a bit inappropriate to invite Mizutani as he was his psychologist. The wedding was also in another country, which only would have made it more awkward to ask. So instead, they arranged a short session the day before the wedding.
"How are you feeling, Reki?" Mizutani asked, "Your big day in nearly here."
"Oh, god, I'm nervous. Really, really nervous.. But I'm happy as well. I mean, it's going to be so weird to finally get married to him after so long.. I just hope it goes well-!" Reki said, the words bursting from his mouth. It was true. He was nervous, incredibly nervous, and possibly the happiest he'd ever been in his life.
"I'm sure it will. I can tell how happy you are about this, and you should be. It's a beautiful thing to be able to marry the person you love, even though you've had to go to such extreme lengths to do so," Mizutani paused, "You're strong, Reki. Very strong. You should be very proud of yourself for everything that you've done."
"Thank you.. But honestly, everything just seems so perfect. You know, the day I got back from the hospital after Langa almost died, I just.. ran home and collapsed into my mom's arms. I stayed there and cried because of how happy, how exhausted, how grateful, and how sad I was. And ever since Langa gave her that money, they've been able to afford so much more. It's just so.. nice," Reki said, smiling.
What he said was all true, including the part about Langa giving his mother money. In fact, it was something very prominent. After Langa got out of the hospital, Reki found out that he had transferred a large sum of money to Reki's mother. After all, he knew how much she was struggling, and wanted to help. Because he was basically almost-dead in her eyes, Masae accepted the money gratefully, and even quit some of her many, many jobs. Reki had asked Langa about it, who admitted that he had actually put in his will for a portion of his money to go to Reki's mother, but since he hadn't died, he just gave it to her anyway.
In some ways, Reki didn't know how to feel about it, but he was too grateful to feel offended by the gesture, if he could even bring himself to be offended. Which he didn't think he could.
However, that wasn't the only thing that Langa revealed about his will then. As it turned out, he had a request for a speech that he wrote to be read aloud on television after his death. He had a copy of it and told Reki to read it. Reki, a little nervously, unfolded the paper where the speech was written on, and began to read. It said;
I am writing this now and you are hearing this now because I, Langa Hasegawa, am dead.
Today, I am telling you all something that is very personal to me, but I wish for you to know. I am gay. I have known for the majority of my life that I'm gay, but always hid it because of the risks that it would have created for my career if I came out. Now that I'm dead, I guess that doesn't matter.
I want all the young children, the old people, and everyone in between to know that I love you even if your parents don't. Even if you were forced to marry someone who you don't love because your family were ashamed of your identity. Even if you are scared to accept yourself, I accept you. I wish that when I was a young boy, the world spoke about this more. Here in Japan, you cannot legally get married to your partner if you are the same gender, and I think that needs to change. If you are scared that people will not accept you, just know that while some people won't, the people who truly care about you are the ones who will accept you no matter what.
As a gay man, I know how it feels to feel like you're alone. I've been there. But it gets better, just believe in yourself.
I love you all, thank you.
Before Reki even finished reading it, he found that he was crying. Once he was done, he turned to Langa and spoke in a shaky voice, "That's beautiful, Langa. That's so.. beautiful. Even.. Even if you're dead, you're always striving to be such an amazing person. And I love that about you. I.. love you. That would really.. help a lot of people, you know? I'm sorry, I.. I don't know why I'm s.. so emotional."
"It's okay, don't cry, I'm here," Langa said, pulling Reki into a warm embrace. Reki shuddered as he cried, and he wasn't even sure why he was crying. Maybe because he was so glad that Langa was still alive, or maybe because of how kind Langa was. Maybe both.
Either way, Reki would never forget it. Along with the fact that he would never forget how Langa had gifted his mother that money so that she and Reki's siblings could live a better life, and so he liked to talk about it. Mostly to Mizutani, who didn't seem to mind.
"You're very lucky to have someone like Langa in your life to support you. And your wedding day is only tomorrow, so it will be the start of a new kind of life for both of you, hm?" Mizutani smiled through his voice, and so although Reki couldn't see him, he knew that he was smiling.
"Yeah.. I'm lucky," Reki looked out of the window, "So far, everything has been perfect. I don't think anything will go wrong at the wedding, so I'm happy."
"Ah, well, it'll be alright. It's going to be stressful but make the best of it. You don't get married every day, do you?" the other man responded, the phone connection going fuzzy for a second.
"You're right," Reki acknowledged, "I'll have fun. I'll try not to stress over it much, though I already am.."
And then it was the day of the wedding, and Kaoru had just left the room to give Reki some space before everything started. He gazed out of the window and out onto the ground of the stately home that they had reserved for the wedding. It certainly wasn't the kind of place Reki had ever imagined getting married, but in all honesty, he hadn't given marriage a lot of thought until Langa proposed. And even then, Langa almost died right after, and then they stayed fiancés for two years, so he hadn't thought a lot about it then either. However, the home was surrounded with miles and miles of thick forest, which Reki found beautiful, so he was quite fond of the place.
He walked to the window and sat down on the wide and high window ledge, careful not to somehow ruin his wedding suit. It was one of the fanciest things he had worn in his entire life, but he thought it suited him rather well, and so saw no problem with it apart from the fact that he treated it like it was glass. It would be extremely hard for him to rip it, but he was paranoid about it for some ridiculous reason. The worst part was that he knew it was unreasonable, but still couldn't help worrying about it. Reki eventually decided to just stand up, and so he straightened up from where he was sitting on the windowsill.
Before he knew it, Kaoru was back and knocking on the door, "Reki? C'mon, it's almost time."
"Okay, okay," Reki replied nervously, taking a breath in and opening the door.
"Follow me. I'm gonna take you down the aisle, remember?" Kaoru asked knowingly.
He was right. Although it was normally the bride who came down the aisle, there wasn't really a bride in their wedding as they were both men, so they decided to just both walk down the aisle. Langa first, and then Reki. Normally, your father would take you down the aisle, but that option wasn't available in their case, so Reki decided that Kaoru would take that role whilst Langa decided that his mother would take that role.
And so, the time had almost arrived.
Reki followed Kaoru outside of the large house, and they arrived near some trees. The wedding was going to be held outside, so if they walked through the trees they'd be there. Kaoru turned to Reki and said, "You're gonna be okay. Should we go?"
"..Yes," Reki replied hesitantly, letting Kaoru lock arms with him.
He wasn't hesitant about marrying Langa, he knew that he wanted that, he was just nervous about it. It was a big thing to get married to someone, so who wouldn't be nervous? Either way, although all marriage really was was just some words on a piece of paper, it felt like a lot more.
"Don't forget to breathe," Kaoru said mellowly, guiding Reki through the trees. The wedding area came into view, and the guests turned to see Reki and Kaoru enter. Langa and Nanako were at the front of the aisle, waiting side-by-side. Reki saw his mother and smiled weakly at her before going back to gazing at Langa. The two men began walking down the aisle, arms locked together. It was hardly an aisle, and more of a path in the woods, but that was its purpose, so that is what they called it. Before he properly registered it, Reki was standing by Langa. Kaoru and Nanako were standing by the side, away from them.
The priest they had hired began to speak, "We gather here today to unite these two people in marriage.."
The actual ceremony lasted longer than Reki had expected, and he felt a little like he was floating outside his own body the entire time. That was, until he heard Langa say, "I do."
The priest said something, and Reki stuttered out automatically, "I.. I do."
"You may kiss the groom," the priest spoke, stepping away from them. Langa's eyes were sparkling with a beautiful light, his cheeks rosy, and the corners of his mouth lifted. Reki felt a wave of warmth go through his body, and they leant in together. Their lips joined, and Reki's entire body felt like it was on fire. It's happening. It's really happening. We're getting married. It feels so real.. so, so real. And tears began to trickle down his face. They parted, and Langa took Reki's hand. He was crying as well.
There was a ring on Reki's finger. One that wasn't his engagement ring. It was his wedding ring. His real, solid wedding ring. Langa, of course, had one too, and they were identical. Not much to look at, just pale silver bands, but they were beautiful. Reki looked at their joined hands, and his emotions welled up again, tears falling down his face again.
Time passed in a second, and they were already suddenly inside the stately home again, talking to the guests and whatnot.
"You're so grown up, Reki," his mother said, patting his head fondly, "It feels like yesterday when you were just a little kid, and I was still pregnant with Koyomi.."
"Mom, I'm twenty-three," Reki complained jokingly, "And Koyomi's an adult already too. We're all grown up, hm?"
"Don't worry," she said, "You're still a little kid to me."
He rolled his eyes sarcastically, and hugged her, "I'm glad you're here."
"Thank you, Reki. Now go talk to some other people, this is your wedding, after all," Masae said, shooing him away to go talk to someone else. He turned around to find someone else to talk to since Langa was deep in conversation with some friends from Canada, and he didn't want to disturb them. He found Koyomi and Miya talking in the corner of the room and went over to them.
"I see you two are getting on well," Reki smirked, standing between them.
"..." Koyomi looked at her older brother with some annoyance, "Did you come over here just to be annoying? I know you get married and all that, but you're still my brother. I'm not going to cry and hug you because you're not completely alone anymore."
"Don't be like that, I just wanted to say hi," Reki said, laughing, "But how's the wedding been so far? Apart from the ceremony, I mean, that was probably pretty boring for you."
"The food is pretty nice," Miya admitted, holding up a plate of bread.
"Are you seriously just eating bread..?" Reki asked.
"Reki, don't be mean to him!" Koyomi exclaimed, hitting Reki's arm, "He can eat bread if he wants to, stop it."
"What are you three arguing over now?" a voice asked from behind Reki. Two arms wrapped around his waist from behind and a chin was rested on his shoulder.
"..Langa," Reki said.
"Hello there," Langa replied, using one hand to turn Reki's face towards him and press a kiss onto his lips.
"Please.. stop," Koyomi said, grimacing, "You can kiss and all that, but he's still my brother."
"..." Reki looked at her, "You should really hurry up and outgrow your childish phase."
Langa pulled Reki away, and he heard Koyomi say as they left, "Miya, you know I don't care if they kiss, right? I just want them to have fun and not talk to us when it's their wedding.."
She didn't realise that Reki heard, and Reki didn't say that he did. He just smiled and turned to Langa, who looked a handsome as ever. They both had white wedding suits on with black ties and shoes, and Langa's hair was shimmering beautifully in the light. Reki raised his hand and tucked a piece of Langa's hair behind his ear without thinking, but the blue-haired man wasn't angry. Of course he wasn't. Neither of them were going to get irrationally angry on such a beautiful day.
"Should we.. dance?" Reki asked breathlessly.
"I was hoping you'd ask," Langa replied, pulling Reki outside onto the grass. A new song came on from inside, and they started to dance together. Reki's eyes were locked on Langa, and Langa's eyes were locked on Reki. It was like they were in their own perfect world, a peaceful bubble that separated them from everyone else. Their wedding rings gleamed on their fingers, and they were enchanted by one another. They stumbled clumsily up a hill and laid down next to each other, gazing up at the night sky.
"The stars look beautiful tonight," Reki said, clutching Langa's hand. Langa squeezed his hand, and they laid there in silence together, admiring the stars that twinkled so perfectly. After a while of silence, Reki added, "I think our suits are going to get dirty."
"That's good," Langa replied, "It means that every time we look at them, we'll be reminded of this. This is something I want to remember."
To Reki, their wedding day was perfect. After the wedding, they went on their honeymoon, although it was short. They stayed in Canada whilst everyone else went home, and visited a lot of different places, including where Langa used to live. When they arrived home in Okinawa, nothing was really different. Their marriage was a secret to most people, and so life carried on as normal. But normal was what they wanted. Maybe most people want a life of excitement, but all Reki and Langa wanted was a life where they could relax and be happy, and that's what they got, in the end. It was perfect. More than perfect. And so, every day, Reki would wake up early and make something for Langa so that he could wake up to warm food and a loving husband who whispered, "I love you."
It was all they ever wanted, and it was perfect for them. Nothing comes without some difficulty, but they were content. For the first time in a long time, Reki felt safe and secure. He cried the day that he called Mizutani and told him that it would be their last session. Reki had healed. That was always the end goal but seeing him go was like seeing a part of his life disappear. It was hard, but he was happy.
Reki was happy because, after so much suffering, he finally got his happy ending.