Chapter Text
CHAPTER 40: WISH
"I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.” ~Silver Linings Playbook
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Ladybug lands softly on the beam a few feet from the slumped form of Chat Noir. Of Adrien Agreste. His back is to her, feet dangling above the city they protect, shoulders hunched, and it reminds Ladybug of the raised hackles of an injured animal. Her heart drops into her stomach and continues to the ground far below because there can be only one reason for his posture: her. Either he feels betrayed or disappointed, but it's clear that, as she’s always feared, she’s not good enough. Or not enough. She can’t help the tears that instantly well in her eyes again, blurring the blonde and black before her. Her head spins like the whole world is about to crash down, and she forgets how to breathe but it’s ok because she doesn’t want to.
"He said to tell you he's sorry." It rings in her ears, echoes in her mind like the knell of something dying.
He doesn’t give any indication he’s aware of her arrival, shoulders slumped, tail thrashing aimlessly. She takes a timid step forward. “K-kitty?” She can’t help the waver in her voice that sounds as shattered as her heart is in this moment.
“Claws in.” In a flash of green, Adrien is sitting on the beam. Without turning [he can’t even look at me], he slides his ring off and sets it beside him, between them. “I can’t wear this anymore.”
Ladybug can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t speak, can’t stand as her knees hit the beam, arms wrapping around her ribs, choking sobs forcing their way from her chest. “I’m s-s-sorry!” She manages to squeeze out through the hiccuping that wracks her body. “G-g-god, Adrien, I’m s-s-so so s-s-sorry!” Her sobs are interrupted by gasps as her lungs try to function through the gripping grief and panic.
Blinded by unrelenting tears, she doesn’t see Adrien spin around, jolting upright, and clearing the distance between them to drop on his knees in front of her. She doesn’t see the confusion written all over his face and in his own puffy, red eyes, or the drying tear tracks on his splotchy cheeks.
His hands landing on her shoulders startle her mid-sob, and when he says her name, it’s her name, and for a minute she hopes Tikki had time to hide before she remembers she’s still wearing spots. Of course he knows. It’s why we’re here, isn’t it?
“Marinette?” He says it again, and this time his face gradually comes into focus. She flinches because she can see he’s been crying, and she knows it’s all her fault for failing him. “Why...why are you apologizing?”
“I…” She sniffles and takes a deep breath to steady herself. She’s put this off as long as she can, and now she has to face whatever is ahead for their partnership, friendship, and doomed love. They have to figure out how to salvage what they can and make it work...and figure out how to make it be enough when the purpose of their partnership remains as yet unfulfilled.
“Adrien, Chat...I’m sorry.” She looks at her gloved hands where they rest in her lap. “Spots off.” Tikki flies out of the earrings and looks sadly between the two teens. Plagg floats to his counterpart and wraps her in a hug in a rare show of affection that underscores the heaviness of the moment as it descends upon them all. But otherwise the kwamis remain unmoving and unspeaking in their own silent exchange.
Marinette forces herself to continue. “I’m...I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. When...when I knew. I’m sorry that...that I’m not enough. That I c-couldn’t live up t-to everything you hoped and deserve. Th-that under the magic, it’s a-always b-been j-just m-m-me…” She drops her chin as tears flow in silent wimpers.
“Wait.” Adrien’s hands leave her shoulders, and she slumps further in on herself. “That’s...that’s what you think?!? You...you think I’m...what?...DISAPPOINTED??” A flinch and sniffle are all the confirmation that he needs before he’s throwing his arms around her tiny form [has she always been so small?] and crushing her to his chest. “Oh my god, Marinette, you’re everything!” She jolts against him, and he holds her impossibly tighter. “Marinette,” he’s crying now as he struggles to find the words to tell the miracle of a girl in front of him what she means to him because big enough words don’t exist. “I love you." She gasps at his words and shivers in his grasp. “I love everything about you, from every angle, in every way, in a mask and under it, flying through the sky or falling face-first on the floor." He takes a shaky breath. "I love you for all that you are, inside and out, and I always have and always will.” He places his hands back on her shoulders and gently pushes so that he can look at her. He brings one hand under her chin, tilting her face up to look at him so she can see the absolute truth written in his soul. “I’ve loved you since the day we met. And…as I said before: this knight's heart belongs to you. My Lady." The smile he gives her is watery but absolutely genuine. She sees the truth as it outshines any bit of doubt she could possibly harbor.
“I’ve loved Adrien since you gave me your umbrella,” she blurts out. “And...if I’m being honest? I think I’ve loved Chat for almost as long.” The words have barely cleared her lips before his lips crash against hers in a surge that drowns out everything around them but the places where they’re pressed together. The kiss tastes like salt and light, grief and resurrection. As his tongue slips past her lips demanding entrance, she feels the forces of creation molding them together, and the rightness of it steals her breath - or maybe it’s Adrien [Chat...kitty...chaton] who consumes the air directly from her lungs and begs for more. She’s dizzy with the force of what they are together and to each other, be they humans or heroes or everything in between.
When he finally pulls away, his face is radiant for just a moment before it darkens and crumples inward. “Hey.” Her own eyes fill with concern as she takes in the return of his despondency. “Hey, Adrien, what’s going on?” She’s worried, but it isn’t the feeling of the ground dropping out from under her because her partner is here, and he loves all of her, and whatever is responsible for the agony written all over his face, they can work through. Together.
“I…” He looks away.
“What is it?” she prods gently, gripping his hands tighter.
He takes a shaky breath at a vain attempt to steady himself before he says, “I know who Hawk Moth is,” and the statement sounds deceptively devoid of emotion. The words flutter to the steel beneath their feet like ashes of battles and brethren lost long ago. Flat and long dead.
“You… You do.” It starts as a question and ends as a statement as realization strikes her in the gut with all the force of a high speed train. “Because it’s your father.”
“My mother…”
“The Wish.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” and “we’ll get through this,” are the paltry words she has to offer because once again words big enough to tell him everything he is to her and how far she will go for this precious, broken-hearted boy before her just don’t exist. So instead of trying to invent a new language, she reaches behind him to pick up the discarded miraculous and slides it back where it belongs. She stands and pulls him to his feet so she can look up into those too-green eyes she’s loved so long and so deeply. It’s a new beginning, so why not start at the beginning? “You and me against the world, remember?”
And then Marinette is crushed to Adrien once again with their arms around each other in a hug as unbreakable as their bond.
“You and me against the world,” he whispers.
~
Fin.