Chapter Text
3 Months Later
Dani stretched tiredly. Do I text him? So much about Malcolm was contradictions. On one hand, he was hyper confident. Arrogant at times. But she’d learned very fast he needed reassurances about her feelings, small gestures going a long way. If she had girlfriends to explain it to, they’d probably think it was annoying, needy. It wasn’t.
She thought back to the hallway after he had first kissed her. She’d seen the hesitation, the shadows beginning to crowd his eyes. His left hand, that had just tenderly made sure all her bruises were soothed, shaking again.
So, she had leaned over and said the first thing that popped into her mind - a proposed date for a lasagna night. Simple. A small effort and gesture in many ways, but his insecurity had melted into a happiness that still made her stomach flutter 3 months later.
Dani bit her lip, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. Snuggling down into the covers, shyness warred with the desire to know that she’d made him smile like that again, even if she couldn’t see it.
She knew where the anxiety was coming from. It was familiar in its weight and impact.
She’d had a couple boyfriends who’d liked to use her softness against her, mocking her attempts at sweetness or vulnerability. They had expected only the Dani she showed the outside world, or perhaps simply valued that Dani more. When she’d begun showing her quirky side, or let herself get excited about something, or emotional… Awkward pauses, lame jokes, dismissive tones… It never went well. As a result, she wasn’t usually effusive with boyfriends, always holding a part of herself back.
But with Malcolm, she was slowly learning that the opposite was true. She had used the undercover case to test the waters. The shroud of Kora Blake gave her a unique opportunity to expose certain sides of herself. That she could be moved by art. That her grief was still raw enough, her work weighed on her enough, that she needed touchstones to her grandma and dad quite often. Now, with Kora put to rest and just being herself, every time she stepped a little further out into the light, showed just a little more vulnerability, Malcolm seemed to revel in it, holding those moments as sacred rather than trivial.
To say it was nice was a little bit of an understatement.
And, just as he was little insecure about his worth and could be a little needy, he met her overtures with such utter acceptance that she was finding it just as healing to give them. Being tough and smart and kicking ass was great. But a part of herself she’d learned to lock away was starting to come out.
It was kind of terrifying.
Ok, this is embarrassing but here goes.
You’re really annoying. You know why?
She smiled as her phone signaled that he was typing back.
I speak babytalk to Sunshine while you’re trying to nap?
Dani snorted; she’d ribbed him mercilessly about that.
Nope. I’m lying here in bed trying to sleep. And you know what?
His response was immediate.
What?
She squirmed, hesitating for a second. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
All I can think about is how much I miss breathing in your scent as I fall asleep.
Her eyes closed in humiliation. God, undercover work is easier. I can’t believe I said it. He better have that damn smile plastered across his face.
Her phone dinged with a response.
I’ll be over in 20 mins. I know it’s only been 6 hours, but I miss you too.
Dani felt a smile creep over her face. His response releasing a small knot of worry in her chest.
Her therapist, after the overdose, had called showing more sides of herself the ‘integrated whole.’ And, while not remotely there yet, Dani was finding the process far more uncomfortable - and rewarding - than she would have previously imagined.
She sighed tiredly, settling back into her pillows, when the phone dinged again.
Also, I got an extra box of that cereal you love. Bringing it for you.
He doesn’t even eat. Warmth filled her chest.
It was scary. But she was finding out in a million small ways, it was worth it.
-------------------
Malcolm opened the door to her room slowly, head peeking through to see if she’d fallen asleep since the texts. Dani smirked into her pillows and lifted the corner of the comforter invitingly. Opening only one eye, she giggled at his broad smile as he rushed to join her. The giggle turned to laughter as he bounced the bed in his haste, wrapping his arms around her. Kissing her hard and fast, they rocked with the force of his greeting.
She used the momentum to roll on top of him, pinning his arms to his side and swinging her leg over his hips. His smile turned sensual as she leaned forward towards his mouth. Swerving at the last moment, she stuck her head into the crook of his neck, inhaling with a sigh. “Hmm, that’s the stuff,” she kissed the tender spot below his ear as she shifted to lay next to him.
Malcolm grumbled good naturedly, “That’s just mean.”
She poked him in the ribs, “My texts were very clear. I’m going to bed, AND I wanted to smell you.” She felt a wave of pride at his laughter. So rare prior to their dating, she loved that she brought it out of him. Often when I’m just me.
The novelty of that idea, that she could be enough by being herself, still felt tentative, surreal. Like it was a beautiful picture made of spun sugar - sweet but would shatter with the wrong touch.
She closed her eyes to do the cognitive exercises her sponsor had suggested, snuggling closer and holding him tight. He must have felt the shift in her energy because his laughter died. Instead, he reached down to pull her leg through his so they were more fully intertwined and tightened his arms right back.
She’d said something like that out loud once. It was about a month in when she had realized how invested she was becoming. She’d wanted him to know that the fact they were a “they” scared the crap out of her. The feeling had been building until finally she was desperate to know if he was scared too. He was. They talked about it late into the night; he had even thanked her for starting the conversation.
A week later she picked the most epic of fights. She wanted them to shatter before she relied too heavily on his presence. She hadn’t even realized she’d been doing it.
He weathered the storm of her fury, emotions, and the coldness of her words. He hadn’t backed down, but he also hadn’t risen to the bait.
Then, he stayed outside her apartment in car all night in case she left to go use. He was so worried about her. Her. After all she’d done to destroy what they were building.
She’d thought about it too. Felt the itch under her skin. Instead, she talked to her sponsor through tears in the devastating aftermath. Her wonderful sponsor, who’d called her on her bullshit and left no room for pity.
She had decided to go stand outside his door and beg forgiveness at around 3 AM, only for him to chase her down the street. When she realized why, that he’d had her back all night while she had her mini-breakdown… Well, she had a second breakdown, but this time clinging to him.
“What are you thinking about?” Malcolm asked gently, pulling her from her thoughts.
“How people would probably put money down that I’m the healthy one in the relationship, but really it’s you,” fondness for him lowered the sting of her own self-recrimination.
“I would say we are equally healthy and unhealthy when it comes to relationships – just in different ways,” He dropped a kiss to her forehead, “But I totally win the competition for unhealthiest over all.”
The ridiculousness of his statement made her smile and gentled the voices in her head. Just as he knew it would.
Dani took another deep breath, filled with his soap, shampoo, faint traces of cologne, and his own unique scent. God, that really is the stuff. “Are you going to head out once I fall asleep, or do you want to use your travel handcuffs?” Malcolm had taken to leaving the restraints he took on trips at her house, but usually preferred being home if he was feeling particularly triggered.
He ran a hand through her hair, tugging on a strand, “I’ll stay the night.”
She rolled away from the safe cocoon they’d made and reach under her bed, feeling around until she could find the box. Pulling it out, she left it on the ground. He’d deal with it when he was ready.
Throughout their relationship, he’d been willing – eager even – to stay with her until she fell asleep. Then, he left for a separate bed. At his loft, it was easy. He had a guest bedroom upstairs. He’d installed a second set of restraints up there when they’d started dating. Now, he simply went to sleep in whatever bed was empty at the time.
Her tiny apartment was a different matter though. First time they’d stayed at her place, he had waited until she fell asleep, then headed home. At 2 AM. While she got it, she didn’t like it. He could get jumped or something.
Next day, she’d spent all afternoon searching websites. Eventually, she found a sofa on clearance with a pull-out bed. The sales associate had humored her when she’d asked to pull it out in the store. The wire frame was perfect for looping his restraints through and weighted enough that he’d be fairly secure. She bought it on the spot.
She turned to snuggle into his neck again, breathing him in. I wonder if he’s figured out that I got the sofa after we started dating?
Malcolm sighed deeply, bringing her mind back to the present by kissing her forehead, “Now that we’ve handled how we’ll chain me to the bed, what were you saying about being healthy and unhealthy?”
She snickered quietly, deciding to change the topic. Running a hand down his chest, she peered up at him devilishly through her eyelashes.
Malcolm cocked an eyebrow, tracking her hand closely, “Detective Powell?”
She smirked.
“I thought you were going to sleep?” He said a little breathlessly as her hand found her target and began to move gently.
Dani shrugged, her smirk turning into a giggle – of all things – as his eyes closed happily. She pursed her lips to stop a second giggle.
Suddenly, she felt herself twisted and flipped. Malcolm had slowly been positioning is own arm while her attention had been focused elsewhere. Now, she found herself pinned. Malcolm straddled her hips, holding her arms above her head. Freakin’ Ninja.
His hair hung into his eyes and, even though she was currently pinned, Dani had the urge to push it out of the way for him. Instead, she cocked her eyebrow, “Here I thought I was being such a nice girlfriend.”
Malcolm smirked, his eyes gleaming, “You’re the best girlfriend. But we’ve got to have a conversation.”
“Oh?”
He leaned closer, lips hovering right over her mouth as he lowered his hips to press more fully against her. Her breath hitched at the feeling despite herself.
His smirk grew, and Dani felt her competitive spirit flutter to attention.
He must have seen it on her face because he subconsciously licked his lips, “About something incredibly important.”
“What?” She asked breathlessly, eyes falling shut as he began to move.
“Your need to correct your follow through when throwing axes overhand.”
Dani’s eyes flew open, a mock glare boring into him. I’m totally going to make him pay for this.
She began moving her legs quietly wider to attempt a counter pin, while he was distracted kissing her rebuttal silent.
This is going to be fun.
-------------------------
Malcolm watched the light dance across her shoulders as cars passed by on the street. He’d taken to popping off his cuffs to come back to bed with her whenever he sensed his sleep was done for the night.
He’d tried it after a particularly bad nightmare two weeks into dating. He hadn’t wanted to wake her but the call of Dani’s presence was too much for his shattered peace to deny. She’d awakened and, seeing him standing unsure in the door, called him back into her bed.
It had felt like coming home, crawling into the warm sheets while his body still shook. In the morning, she’d encouraged him to come back whenever he was awake and wanted to, telling him his presence made her feel safe.
Me. Making someone feel safe.
He still couldn’t quite allow himself to believe it.
Now, it was three in the morning, and he was wide awake after about a solid four-hour sleep. No nightmares, just no sleep.
He used to hate this. Frustration at his insomnia, the need to keep his mind busy, and the isolation all working together to make dark nights long and empty.
Now, he played a game.
He’d find where some tiny bit of light was randomly hitting her skin and count all the various pattern combinations he could make. If there was no light, he’d move on to where a small breeze from the overhead fan moved her hair and do the same. If that didn’t happen, he’d do it with her freckles.
It was a weird game. Not really a game at all.
It was…
Helping keep me sane.
Rather than flippant or sarcastic, he meant it quite matter of fact. It was a novel feeling for him. He was pretty excited about it.
Dani was self-conscious about her wounds, like everyone tended to be. He leaned his head forward an inch so his nose was where her silk hair wrap met her neck and sniffed.
He loved her scent too. She just beat him by saying it out loud first.
That was the thing about Dani. She labeled herself surprisingly harsh when her pain was raw and close to the surface. She’d never judge others like she judged herself.
It hurt him to see it. Particularly since, in reality, he was awed by her bravery. Much like her text confession, she often pushed herself to take the next step towards wholeness. Sure, she could take down a suspect. Taking down your ghosts was far scarier. He knew that well enough.
She’s like a cat.
He contemplated the metaphor as he watched more car lights race across her skin.
Quiet, calm, observant, intelligent, fierce when need be, playful… tentative and skittish in their affection, they needed to adopt you rather than the other way around. But once you have their love…
He smiled, pleased with himself. I’m keeping the metaphor. She’s my kitty cat.
The thought made him snort as he worked to smother his laughter and not wake her, imagining Dani’s face if he ever used kitty cat as a nickname for her. Never say that out loud or again. He was still keeping the metaphor though.
There was that laughter again. It was weird even for him to hear it so often, and he was the one laughing.
He knew statistically that relationships often followed a cycle. They were definitely in the honeymoon phase. But the fight had helped begin to transition them to something normal and hopefully lasting, even though he knew Dani still kicked herself for it.
They were partners already. Complex feelings with history and stories and lives already woven together before the first kiss. Dating had created another dimension, and there was a lot about being with Dani that felt natural. But there had also been an imbalance. He had feared what happened once the novelty wore off and real life came crashing back.
So, he took measures.
He hadn’t seen his father.
He’d messed with his meds.
His silent laughter died, petering out. A somber feeling settled in his chest.
He’d even taken a sedative or two.
When she told him she was scared, and then began acting increasingly defensive until she’d picked the fight he saw coming a mile away, it’d helped weirdly.
Psychological struggles he knew. Weathering the chaos familiar. Helping his partner as innate as breathing.
The full turning point for him though was actually three days later, after they’d made up.
She’d played with Sunshine. Such a stupid, silly moment. Nothing special.
He’d come out of the bathroom to find her hunched over the kitchen counter, diligently tracking Sunshine, flicking one end of a scrap piece of paper. Sunshine was dogging and biting the paper, singing a little song, having fun. Dani had been so engrossed; she hadn’t seen him. Just playing with Sunshine. His own little bird.
He still couldn’t name what shifted in that moment. Just that something had. Something deeply personal, visceral, nameless.
He went back on his normal level of meds the next day. He threw away the packet of sedatives. Two weeks later, for a case, he saw Dr. Whitly, working hard not to push Dani away in the aftermath. He had only been mediocrely successful, but just as he had weathered her storm, she weathered his.
He scooted even closer, molding himself around her. She shifted, rustling in her sleep at the move, but quickly settled back deeper in his arms.
And now we’re confessing about scents.
He sighed, contemplating the novel feeling of contentment during insomnia, and began counting how many new patterns he could see now that she’d moved in her sleep.
----------------
Mornings were like nights – still hard but better at the same time.
He needed routine in the morning. It was important for his mental health. Night routines never really did anything for him, but mornings made a difference. Staying at Dani’s always threw him off, but he was improving in building a new rhythm.
He wandered happily into the living room, beginning the next part of his morning list. The comfort of knowing what came next adding to the comfort of watching her wake up in his arms.
Folding up the sofa bed, he smiled softly at the memory of her muttered complaints when the blare of the alarm had sounded. She’d immediately burrowed into his side, her head uncomfortably but amusingly digging into his ribs.
He could hear the shower start as he chuckled, running through all her attempts to hide from the alarm this week alone. He was learning so many new things about her now that they were dating. It delighted him.
It was delightful.
His life had delight in it.
Malcolm shook his head in a bit of wonder. Putting the couch cushions back where they belonged, he refocused, ticking through his emerging “Stay at Dani’s” list:
- Snuggle with Dani when she wakes up. It makes her feel better about waking.
o Note: She gives and responds well to physical touch in most situations; however, is often not comfortable with public displays of affection.He started folding his sheets to put back into the closet. Fits. She’s fairly private. He hummed, content at the insight. He moved on to the rest of list to refrain from going down the profiling rabbit hole.
- Brush teeth first
- Switch
- Put couch back together and put away all sheets for next time
- Do yoga in the living room while she showers and gets ready
- Switch
- Shower and get ready
- Take medicine
- Choke down some bites of the toast or oatmeal she’s made for you.
o Note: She will not get mad if you don’t eat. She will get mad if you make yourself sick trying to make her happy. Assess odds first.
o Note: At least three bites make her smile. Unless obviously a bad idea, aim for three bites.
- Refill coffees while she gets her gun and badge
- Leave for work at same time
- Uber while she drives herself for separate arrival
The fun thing was that it was almost identical to the new routine he was building when she stayed at his place. There was something about that, the near seamless aspect of their lives together that –
Malcolm stopped short, yoga mat in hand. The off-handed thought crystalizing. Their lives together.
For a very long time, the meaning of that phrase seemed like a reality for everyone but him. Stunned, he sat down on the couch, closing his eyes, swallowing hard.
He had a life he was building with someone.
A delightful life and, more than that, a delightful, routine life. Filled with small, even repetitive, moments. Moments that were real and so very human.
And not just anyone. He was building a delightful and routine life with Dani.
It was real. Real life…
With Dani…
The automatic coffee pot began to hum from the kitchen, rousing him from his stupor, and he distractedly rolled out his yoga mat. Even though they’d been dating for three months now, every once in a while, it just kind of hit him.
Moving through the sequence, it also occurred to him small moments were not how he normally acted when in a relationship. Granted, the relationships rarely lasted long, but…
Malcolm’s eyebrows furrowed. In the last three months, between Dani being fairly bruised, both of them working overtime while JT healed, all the statements and strategy sessions with the prosecutor’s office, they’d been busy. Busy with – stuff.
Besides their own emerging relationship, which granted was quite exciting, they hadn’t really done anything big or extravagant as a couple. Memories swirled of the whirlwind romantic gestures he’d made for the few others he’d pursued relationships with.
It felt wrong – off – that he’d done that for everyone else but her. The person who he hoped was his person.
He tried to come up with something fitting as he began his last flow. Weekend away? Mother wouldn’t mind me using Milton properties. She’d be thrilled.
Jessica’s likely excitement made him pause. Three months in and she had already orchestrated several plots to interfere and interject herself. The latest had required a rather firm talk as she’d begun to mention Milton traditions around child names. Besides the usual inappropriateness, he’d been specifically avoiding the topic of whether Dani wanted kids. Long ago, he had dismissed the idea for himself. He remembered that painful revelation like it was yesterday. It sent him into quite a dark spiral at the time.
But something told him Dani would have a different perspective of him, his life, and the concept of children. If he was really, truly being honest with himself, deep down, there was a part of him that hoped she could reopen a sliver of that possibility. There was also a part that was terrified she could.
He shook his head, trying to clear it. His mind was swinging. From delighted, to stunned, to disconcerted, and now the solemness he always felt when thinking about prospective children or lack there-of.
A lot in his life had happened in the last three months. He redoubled his efforts to center himself as he moved through his yoga. It probably wouldn’t hurt to add some more sessions with Gabriella.
Good disruption, beneficial change, even miraculous positive steps forward – all still had a cost. One he was more than willing to pay in order to build a delightful, routine life with Dani.
Settling into savasana, Malcolm’s mind wandered back to his current dilemma. He needed to show Dani how much he valued her, this relationship. Dani’s never mentioned travel. Maybe she doesn’t like to fly? I’ll have to get her talking to know. Something closer to home in the meantime. There was a Broadway show she’d mentioned.
The new musical had Hamilton-like popularity, and tickets were nearly impossible to find. Malcolm smiled. Except when your family has been a patron of the arts for generations. That’ll work. With a nice dinner beforehand. She’d enjoy an intimate venue. Ainsley will have ideas. A whisper of a dark thought gently hovered over his plan. His anxiety would likely be bad after the play. However, he dismissed the whisper with practiced ease. He’d up the protocol for that day like he did for a bad case. Dani would have a great time.
Thrilled, Malcolm tracked the soft patter of bare feet as it got closer. His smile grew as the sound paused near his waist.
“Aren’t you supposed to be all meditate-y during savasana?”
Malcolm chuckled silently when a toe nudged his side. He opened his eyes, the blue practically dancing as he took in the figure standing above him.
Dani immediately smiled back at his happiness, “You look like we just got assigned the case of the century.”
Malcolm inched himself up slightly so he could better sweep his gaze over her, “Just thinking about you.”
A small blush colored her cheeks, though her eyes rolled in amusement, “Whatever Casanova. Bathroom’s all yours. Here.”
Dani set the mug of coffee down on the nearby media console for when he was ready. She turned, making her way back towards the kitchen to begin breakfast.
Malcolm paused, savoring the everyday moment. Enough routine to feel safe. Enough adventure to feel satisfied. As long as she’s with me during both.
--------------------
Malcolm hung up on Jessica, shaking his head in amusement and exasperation. He brought it on himself really. He let the idea of vacationing with Dani slip while ensuring the family box would be open for the play’s next performance. She’d immediately launched into the benefits of moving in together, somehow connecting ‘I’m thinking of taking my girlfriend for a romantic weekend away’ to mean ‘it’s the opportune time to move in together permanently.’
He was having to negotiate a whole new set of boundaries and rhythms with Dani as they learned to be couple. Fortunately, setting boundaries with his mother was a robust muscle.
Besides, he’d already done his research. He’d set the clock at 6 months after their first fight to begin talking to her about living together. If it came up naturally before then, great. But he’d read some literature on the normative patterns of relationship progression for people their age, levels of daily contact, cross-referenced with the number of years they’d known each other. Six months should be enough time that Dani wouldn’t be completely taken aback if he started the conversation.
He grabbed a handful of Twizzlers and scanned his loft. Dani would be over soon and he wanted to set the stage for a romantic night. He wanted her to feel pursued, seen. Getting to work, he moved around his apartment confidently, adjusting lights, sitting arrangements, and bringing out some candles to artfully arrange. Food and flowers were on their way.
Fifteen minutes later, he took a look at the outcome. Pleased with himself, warmth infused the harsher lines of his modern apartment. There was symbolism in there somewhere, he was sure, but Malcolm left it to mull over later. There was more to be done.
He thumbed through his phone, bypassing mellower playlists for a more instrumental, romantic feel. His blood was singing, and he wanted music that mirrored it. Perfect. He put it on so it was faintly filling the air. Ten minutes till she’s here. What else? His gaze hit the food and flowers that had just arrived. Placing the food into the oven to keep warm, he tackled the flowers, trying different locations for the bouquet. Ideally, he wanted a place where she could enjoy them tonight, and they’d be the first thing she saw in the morning.
He laid down on her side of the bed to ensure an unobstructed view. Done. Satisfied, he bounded back up, smoothing down his hair. Extracting a single rose from the bouquet, he twirled it in his fingers, running through the evening in his head.
Tonight, he was going to make Dani feel special.
-------------------
Dani’s eyes widened, a soft, sensual smile emerging as she crossed the threshold and took in the glow of the loft. Humming with appreciation, her eyebrows lifting, she gave him a look mixed with promise and laughter, “It looks like something other than dinner was on your mind?”
Lips quirking, he just waggled his eyebrows and helped her remove her jacket. Reaching behind him, he presented the single rose with a flourish, causing Dani’s eyes to narrow with delight and suspicion.
“Pulling out all the stops are we?” She turned slowly in a circle, taking in the entire apartment, sniffing the fragrance of the flower. She threw an amused, half smirk his way when she caught sight of the larger bouquet by the bed. “Definitely, plans.” Her hand lifted to rest against his chest. Patting him affectionately, she tilted her head towards the kitchen, “Later Casanova, though definite A++ so far. That food smells amazing, and I missed lunch.”
Laughing, they settled into the sofa, diving into the dinner, partially turned to face each other. Conversation flowed over the apartment like wine, easy and smooth. Malcolm savored the moment, letting appreciation settle in his bones even as he began to crackle with the anticipation of his surprise.
Finished, Dani leaned over, placing her plate on the coffee table. She looked back up, candlelight flickering across her cheeks, a teasing lilt to her voice, “You ate a whole cup of fancy soup and are still smiling.” She leaned forward towards him, shifting to her knees. Slowly, she began semi-crawling across the cushions towards him, a hungry glint in her eyes, “Someone’s up to something.”
Malcolm smiled confidently; eyes hooded as he tracked her progress across the couch. Waiting till she was close, he leaned forward until his mouth was a hairs breadth away from hers, “What if I told you this is just the appetizer?”
Dani hummed, eyes darting to the bed, “I think it’s fairly obvious what the main course is.” She leaned even closer, so her lips brushed against his faintly as she whispered, “The question I have, is what kind of main course requires candles and flowers?”
Malcolm’s heart sped up. Kind of main course? Oh, that has possibilities… Various “kinds” of main courses flashed across his mind. With effort, he refocused, his voice horse, “I like where your mind’s at, and we will definitely come right back to it, but I was thinking of a big night out soon. One we haven’t really done yet. Dani, will you go out with me?”
Her eyes crinkled in delight. Leaning forward the last millimeter, she placed a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. Sitting back on her heels, she cocked her head, “Of course. What’s with…?” She gestured all around her good naturedly, “I love it, but I’ve kind of already agreed to be your girlfriend.”
Malcolm drew his announcement out, “Oh, I know. It’s what we’ll be doing that’s the surprise. I got us dinner to L'Artusi and tickets to Fou Amoureux."
He expected a smile of delight and another kiss. Maybe, if he was lucky, she was feeling confident enough to gush and/or squeal.
It happened extremely rarely - he’d only seen it once so far - but a gushing Dani Powell was utterly adorable. He’d never actually heard her squeal, and didn’t know if it was physically possible for her, but he imagined it could only also be adorable and he hoped to hear it one day.
Instead, Malcolm watched with shock and a growing sense of dark dread as Dani’s face fell blank. Pulling away from him, she settled on the other side of the couch, staring with cautious eyes that were growing dimmer with some sort of emotion he couldn’t place.
And to Malcolm, Dani pulling away from him with an emotion he didn’t know rattled him to his core.
It was happening. The reality of his life was roaring back to make itself known.
He’d been too happy, too content.
It was finally going to happen.
Dani was about to be taken from him.
*************
You’re freaking him out. Just say yes. Still, the words in response to a beautiful gesture wouldn’t come. Like she was watching a horror show featuring someone else, she could practically see her mouth opening and closing. Meanwhile, Malcolm’s eyes were getting increasingly wider. His breathing becoming rapid.
You’re freaking him out! Her mind went static.
She should be excided; she knew that. But, instead, a deep solemnness had settled over her. It was just a date, and a thoughtful one at that. She loved the theatre, but almost never went between her schedule and budget.
Suddenly, a half-formed explanation solidified and, to her horror, she heard herself stumbling to explain, “I love the theatre. I mean, it’s a great location for a date. But not with you. I mean. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Malcolm’s body went ridged even as it crumbled before her eyes. It only got worse as her disjointed stammering continued on. She knew she wasn’t making sense but couldn’t seem to stop, “I mean. I know you went to the theatre a lot with Eve. I heard you and JT talking about it. It’s like your go-to.” Dani violently shook her head no, curls bouncing. Malcolm jerked back in surprise, stung. “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Why am I so bad at this? Desperation welled up inside her, adrenaline flowing. Malcolm stood up from the couch hurrying to get distance… Distance from me.
Replays of all the ways she’d messed up previous relationships – whether romantic or friendship – hammered into her. Voice shaking, she reached out automatically, fingers grasping for his vibrating left hand, barely brushing his. He was already out of reach.
She was destroying them again. She just knew it.
*************
Eve? What the fuck?
Confusion began to break through the chaos swirling inside. He needed space to understand what was happening. He didn’t expect this. At all.
Over there. His mind fixated on the area in front of his weapons collection on the other side of the coffee table. Get there. He just needed to think, to stand back and see. Nothing about this made sense to him.
He felt Dani’s fingers brush against his as he strode as fast as he could to where his mind signaled safety may lie. The barest of touches helped push back the pulses of dark energy and fatalism threatening to take over his thoughts.
Just get a handle on this. Control it, then fix it. She’s not leaving.
He crossed his arms over his chest as he took her in.
Split in two, he noted her clinically. Tears in her eyes. Subtle shaking manifesting throughout her body. Likely sweating. She’s panicking.
The other side of him, his heart, noted the same list. Without any hesitation, it began breaking for her, wanting to hold her, even as she was breaking him.
A sardonic thought, disturbingly like Dr. Whitly’s, burned in his mind. Of course, she’s leaving. You didn’t see the signs she was breaking up with you? Tisk, tisk. The FBI’s training program really needs some help. Wasn’t she hesitant to let anyone from work know about the two of you? You both agreed time and space would be lovely before any NYPD HR interference. But, did you really agree or were you just so excited to be with her, you went along with it? She’s the one who brought it up wasn’t she? The one who posed the idea to wait? She’s ashamed of you. You’re ashamed of you. Not her fault. There’s a lot to be ashamed of really.
Electricity flashed down his arms and chest, sharp pain causing him to visibly wince and fold in on himself. Panic attack. You need more space. Get safe.
Malcolm pulled his professionalism around him like a blanket. He needed to get her out. Two minutes. He just had to last two minutes before breaking.
His voice, surprisingly smooth, started before he was consciously aware of what he was going say, “Dani, obviously we need to talk, but it’s not a good idea to do it right now.” Three large steps and he was back by her side, gently grasping her arm and pulling her up. She didn’t fight him. The tears began to fall; her face stricken.
He added to his clinical list, the addition of a logical data point giving strength to his feet as he ushered her out. She’s unaware she’s crying.
The door glowed at the edges as they neared. He knew he would fall apart once she was on the other side, but right now, the drive to be safe was all consuming.
So focused on calculating the door’s increasing closeness, Dani’s sudden, full-body lurch out of his arms shocked him.
Whirling to face him, her face pale, eyes wide, Dani looked shell shocked, “I’m in love with you.”
Both of them froze.
I had to have heard that wrong.
With trepidation and a sliver of hope, Malcolm watched Dani struggle to talk, her mouth working much like it did when he’d asked her to the theatre.
Just get a handle on this. Control it, then fix it.
Her chest heaved in a sharp undulation. Dani closed her eyes and, without any look of embarrassment, forced herself to breath deeply, in and out. A heavy silence reigned, air pregnant with promise and tension.
Another voice, a counter to Dr. Whitly rose up - faint but with restrained strength. What if you didn’t have to control then fix it?
“I’m in love with you. I, I need to start over. Please. Let’s go sit on the couch.”
************
It was an aching moment, waiting for his slight nod.
Everything was going sideways. Awareness that what she felt for Malcolm was love – real, honest-to-God love, had been growing. Watching as she accidently destroyed what she loved in what can only be described as a weird-ass, out-of-body experience had crystalized it.
She loved him.
She loved Malcolm Bright.
Dani shifted on her feet. The man currently staring at her like she was an alien or something.
Gently, she clasped her hand around his shaking fist. Relieved he didn’t pull away, Dani nudged him towards the couch.
This could blow up in your face. You’re only three months in and you tell him you love him? That’s at least a six- month thing!
It was done. She said it. She felt it. It was out there. Her muscles quivered with the sudden ending of her adrenaline surge. Exhaustion was now prowling the edges of her being.
But Malcolm was too important, they were too important, to not fix this tonight. Reaching the couch, she pulled him down next to her.
Rubbing her thumb over his, Dani tried to sort her thoughts better, “I made a mess of a lovely surprise, and it has nothing – I mean nothing – to do with how I feel about you.” Dani sought to catch his gaze, her jaw flexing when he avoided it.
“I reacted to the idea of theatre poorly because it was what you did with Eve.”
Malcolm’s eyes flashed up to meet hers, bewilderment and a little bit of incredulousness creeping in. Dani cut him off before he could ask, “No, I’m not jealous.”
“Look,” Dani bit her lip, testing her words carefully in her mind before speaking. Slowly, she settled on an approach, “When I overhead you and JT talking about where you were taking Eve back then, I found it odd because --”
“Dani,” Malcolm cut her off abruptly. Leaning towards her, energy and earnestness radiating out of every molecule, “I know this is important to talk about, but it’s not as important as what you said. Did you mean it? Do you…”
His voice trailed off, a combination of scared boy and strong man that made everything inside her quiet with certainty. “I did. I do.”
Malcolm surged forward, kissing her hard and thoroughly. It was overwhelming and reassuring in a night of peculiar moments.
Abandoning the idea of any sort of conversation, Dani gave herself over to it. Her awareness honed in on lips, tongue, and hands. The weight of him pushed her back into the cushions, his body settling on top her. Her hands roamed over his back, reveling in the softness of his cashmere sweater over the firmness of his muscles. She reached down to pull it off of him, wanting nothing between them.
Instead, Malcolm broke the kiss, chest heaving as he leaned his forehead against hers. Face set in deep concentration, he seemed determined to get a hold of himself.
How unnecessary. Dani stretched enticingly, arching into him. Delight rippled through her at his small groan in response. She wanted him. Now. The fact that he hadn’t said it back didn’t bother her.
He hadn’t said it back.
Damn.
She couldn’t hide her sigh, annoyed at herself for killing the mood yet again.
Malcolm opened his eyes apologetically. She cupped his face in resignation, “We have to talk first, don’t we?”
Resentful of his own insistence for self-control, Malcolm nodded, lifting himself off of her and settling back down on the couch. Dani lifted herself back up too, disgruntled.
They turned back to each other, preparing to talk, when they both caught sight of each other’s frustrated pouts.
Laughter rang out, washing over the apartment and bringing peace back to the atmosphere. Content to be with him, Dani slid closer, snuggling into his side. She was going to have to explain, but she wanted to be in his arms when she did.
***************
The feel of her pressed into his side grounded him. More than anything else, Dani’s generous affection kept pulling him back to center. A touch to his back as she passed him in the kitchen, a hand grasping his arm when she slept, practically laying on top of him when they watched movies reclined on the couch, her constant attempts to hide from the morning by using him as a human shield… She may have preferences for being affectionate in private, but she was utterly lavish with her warmth. And he loved it about her.
He loved so much about her.
That he loved her – her soul, her being – was a given. But he also enjoyed many of her quirks. It didn’t surprise him that if she wanted to explain something hard, and it was bound to be hard to cause such a strong reaction in her, she was first making herself home wedged into his side. Her curls tickling his nose, her elbow slightly sharp on his leg… He was grateful for every aspect of it.
Her voice, cautious and halting, brought him back to the moment. He let his heart win out, shifting into the cushions to bring her closer, hold her firmer, taking in the feel of her, her smell, even as his clinical side paid close attention, trying and wanting to understand.
“Ok, so the Eve thing. It’s not really about her, I think. It just bothered me a bit when I heard you were dating her.”
Dani cranked her head to look at him; he did the same, eyebrows furrowed in surprise.
Unsurprisingly, she read his mind, “I said I wasn’t jealous and I wasn’t. I was…” Dani hesitated again. Stroking her arm, he waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, and I could be completely wrong.”
Malcolm nuzzled her curls, dropping a light kiss to the top of her head, “I can’t promise what my emotions will be, but I can promise that I’ll hear you out and we’ll work it out.” He dropped another kiss, this one lingering.
“Fair…and appreciated.” She squeezed his knee affectionately. “Ok, well, I heard you and JT talking about all the dinners, plays, and all the amazing dates you going on every night. And it struck me as really odd and made me a bit uncomfortable. You don’t eat, and you get really anxious in darkened rooms with strangers. I’m sure you have some sort of fancy, rich person seats that help, but it…stuck with me and, like I said, bothered me. Probably for a lot longer than was appropriate for just a work friend.”
Dani’s voice trailed off at her confession, even as Malcolm began to dispute that description of their friendship. She waved him off, continuing, “My point is, I didn’t know why it really got under my skin. It just did. Then, when you asked me to dinner and a play too, the feeling came roaring back. The best way I can put it into words, is that almost everything you said you were doing as dates were things that you – Malcolm Bright – would be… lessened by.”
Malcolm’s hand stopped stroking. He watched distantly as Dani pulled back to face him fully.
A fire lit in her eyes; any hesitation gone. Malcolm felt the strangest sense that every part of him was quivering in anticipation, his cells intuiting that something unknown but just as visceral as when she played with Sunshine was coming straight for him.
Dani captured his gaze effortlessly, force dripping from each word spoken, “I am not ok with anything lessening you in this relationship. I’m sure as hell not ok with a romantic date that actually, secretly triggers you.” Her hand rose, warm against his cheek, “I adore romantic gestures, but I want ones where you are considered too. Why would I be ok with you forgetting you? We’re partners. Let’s do something crazy we both will enjoy.”
For once in his life, Malcolm’s mind simply went blank.
***********
He’s coming back, I think. Dani observed her boyfriend’s face. It had been disconcerting at first, when she’d explained her position, he just kind of…stopped. But she’d realized fast it was nothing to worry about. He’d kept a gentle hold on her, breathing normally.
She assumed he was thinking ferociously about what she said. Replaying moments in his mind. Conversations that were had way back then. Trying to remember what he’d felt or how bad the nightmares had gotten.
Or, maybe he was processing it all in that profiler way of his, developing a psychological explanation tinged with the sociological that would help her understand why and how he’d done what he’d done.
Perhaps, she was full of shit and over thinking everything. Maybe he was trying to think of a nice way to tell her she’d been wrong the whole time, and tonight’s freak out was completely unnecessary.
Even then, Dani reflected, she’d be glad for it. It was one thing to push yourself to take a scary, but healthy step. But the thought of Malcolm actively doing things that triggered himself in an attempt to please her bothered her deeply.
He shifted his weight, turning his neck to look at her.
She waited patiently for his profound insight.
“Why don’t you want people at work to know about us?”
Dani blinked, trying to get there from here. Her mind made the linkage, “Not talking about us at work is like lessening you or our relationship?”
Malcolm blinked back at her, “Huh? No, we talked about our reasoning.”
Unsettled, she stayed silent, considering him. Does he not realize he asked?
Beginning to wonder if she’d misread the blankness, concern crept into her voice, “Ok. Let’s try a different approach. I said something about doing romantic things in a way that both of our needs are considered. Thoughts?” Her voice rose, questioning. Dani leaned back, trying to get a better view of his body posture. Maybe bringing that back up wasn’t a great idea.
Malcolm’s face scrunched in displeasure when she pulled away. He tugged lightly on her wrist to bring her back into his arms.
Something about the look was almost childlike, causing Dani to hum thoughtfully. She took another tact, “Lay down. I’ll lay with you.”
Malcolm refused to lessen his grip even as they began to recline. Awkwardly, they eventually settled down fully entwined. She nuzzled her head into his neck, taking a deep breath. The usual mixture she loved so much was underpinned by the sharp tang of drying sweat. Maybe I shouldn’t push this.
Minutes passed. Dani wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but perhaps just holding each other was enough for now. Her cheek rose and fell at a slower and slower pace as Malcolm’s breathing evened out. He was falling asleep.
Dropping the need to talk tonight was an immediate decision. He needed to sleep. He always needed to sleep. The only debate left was if she should rouse him enough to get into the bed so she could restrain him or just stay awake herself so she could wake him when any nightmares came.
She lifted her head carefully, not wanting to disturb him yet. All she could see from the angle was the hill of his cheek, profile of his nose, and one eye – closed, eyelashes fluttering, skin smoothed and unbothered.
The peacefulness of his features answered the question for her. She’d stay awake and let him sleep for as long as she could.
Dani focused on the sound of his breathing, thinking through the events of the night. A confession of love was definitely not what she’d planned; granted, neither was having a freak out she couldn’t explain at first. But Malcolm’s panic in response to her own was a bit surprising. One of the benefits, and annoyances, of dating a profiler was that usually he was pretty attuned to where her mind was at.
Maybe he’d thought I was about to break up with him?
She turned the question over in her mind, chewing on it. On one hand, that being his go-to interpretation seemed odd given how solid they’d been for a while now, but she’d also already recognized that he needed fairly regular reminders about how she felt.
She ran a hand soothingly down his arm, more for her own need to comfort him than anything else. I didn’t realize he worried about me leaving that much. I mean, if I’m right.
And she might not be. If there was one thing Dani was certain about, it was that Malcolm was complex – composed of layer upon layer. But it also made sense in the grand scheme of his life. The other shoe does always seem to drop for him.
Dani had to work to keep her muscles from tensing. Maybe it did, and he just doesn’t realize it yet. Saying I love you before the other person was ready could be dicey. At least, she imagined it was. She’s never really gotten there before with someone.
His initial reaction of pleasure kept her steady despite the background noise of worry. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. They were good for each other. Tonight was a perfect example of that. Even with the initial triggers for them both, here they were, cuddled up, with Malcolm Bright of all people sleeping comfortably.
They’d get there… He’d get there… Maybe…
**************
He was hovering, suspended in time, drifting in and out. His entire being focused on the warmth infusing his body, radiating from a source pressed against his side. Warm and safe. A part of him thought this odd, but whenever that part’s voice began to solidify another one spoke up, calm and deep.
She loved him.
Then that new reality wrapped around him in this strange space like a blanket. It pulled him down into dark stillness, where his thoughts ceased but no nightmares lurked.
At some point, the warmth would shift or feel like perhaps it wasn’t as tightly pressed against him. He’d emerge back into the fog, body seeking to be fully connected to where ever the warmth had gone to.
It always welcomed him back, pressing against him again, soft musical sounds weaving into the mist, soothing.
She loved him.
And he descended again into the silence and stillness.
************
It was getting late. Dani rubbed her heavy eyelids, quickly placing her arm back around him. Moving made him restless. A tired sigh huffed from her before she could stop it. Quickly, she scanned his face to make sure the noise hadn’t woken him.
Malcolm was sleeping. She, unfortunately, really needed to pee at this point.
Maybe if I make a run for it? The weighted blanket he usually kept on the couch popped into mind. He’d moved it somewhere when he set up for the date. Dani pondered where he might have stashed it. Would he notice if it wasn’t me? She bit her lip. She had almost no vantage point from where she was snuggled into his side and neck to find it. It will take too long to find. He’ll wake up.
Not that she was complaining. She wasn’t. Given all that had transpired today, this was an amazing ending to it. She just really, really needed to use the restroom.
She shifted her body away from his, experimentally. The immediate restlessness that accompanied previous attempts didn’t come. Dani waited a beat or two, holding her breath. When he remained asleep, she gingerly began to extract herself. Bathroom then straight back.
She took off at a quick run, trying to be light on her feet. Springing into the bathroom, she listened with bated breath for Malcolm’s call or, worse, the beginnings of a nightmare.
Finished, she quickly washed her hands, running back so fast she began sliding in her socks. Chuckling at her own silly anticipation she peeked over the back of the couch. Still asleep. Wiggling her hips in a little victory dance, she quickly moved to other side, prepared to slip back into place.
Focused intently on every movement and placement of her body, Dani navigated the small space left for her on the couch, trying to get back into her original position. Her feeling of victory intensified as it looked like she was going to pull this off without waking her insomniac boyfriend.
“I’ll spend millions happily if you’ll do that little shimmy for me on a regular basis.”
Dani’s head snapped up, her self-congratulatory smile widening into one of surprise.
Malcolm peered at her, blue gleaming through mostly closed eyelashes.
Faker. Retaliation was necessary.
Laying a hand on his chest, much like when she arrived, Dani smiled then pinched his nipple hard.
***********
“Ow!” Malcolm laughed, tugging gently to bring her into a hug. Dani went willingly, throwing her legs over his and bringing her forearms to rest on either side of his head. She hovered over him, eyes taking in his features. It was almost like she was checking to see if he was ok.
Malcolm smiled good naturedly, “Usually when I actually sleep well, concern isn’t the first response from people. Because I’m unrestrained?”
Dani shook her head, her curls tickling the sides of his face, “No, I’m glad you got some sleep. It’s been a whole two hours.”
Malcolm ran his hands down her back comfortingly, gently cupping her backside to shift her weight more onto him and off her forearms so she’d be more comfortable, “Ok, so not the sleep. Are you worried about what you said?”
Deep brown eyes widened for just a second. Ah.
“Well,” Malcolm said gently, noting the increasing tension of her muscles, “First, thank you both times for being honest.”
He brushed a small hair out of her face. He kept the other holding her upper leg firmly, in a manner he hoped was at least a bit grounding, “Second, I’m sorry I zoned out. I’ve known for a while that I should probably set a better schedule with Gabriella. This just confirmed it. Us. All this change is… everything, amazing, but I’m having a bit of trouble integrating it, I think. I just need some time. Third—”
Malcolm paused when Dani’s upper lip quivered for a fleeting second before settling back into a look of empathetic listening. Worry immediately flooded him. She’s hurting and trying to ignore it. Rapidly, he assessed the evening again, sorting through the evidence for an explanation.
“I get that.” Dani licked her lips, hesitating on her next words, “I get I probably brought up love a bit early and needing time is completely understandable. Honestly, I –”
Malcolm shot up, sitting ramrod straight. Dani yelped in surprise, jerking back so they didn’t bump heads. He quickly held her tightly in place so she was straddling his lap.
“Dani, this is all new to me so I’m beyond sorry.” He leaned forward, intensity radiating. He needed her to understand. “You’re it. For me. I mean, you’re it. My person. I hope. It didn’t click that I hadn’t said it back yet, with everything else. I’m in love with you. You could move in tomorrow if you want. I mean, I definitely need to work on processing all the life changes, but if you want to, I’m game.”
He began to ramble, earnestness causing his mind to focus on logistics, “I could get an interior decorator so the loft could be adapted to be more like the two of us rather than just me; though, you may want to stay in your place. I’d just have to figure out my weapons collection. Does your lease allow for pets, though? I’ll also have to get a contractor to sound proof the apartment if I’m there every night. Your landlord probably wouldn’t mind. The property value will increase. Or,” inspiration struck, “We own several properties closer to the precinct. We could –”
“Malcolm!” Dani framed his face with her hands, glitter dancing in her eyes, “I love you to. We’ll talk about living together some other night when we haven’t had about eight panic attacks, six big confessions, and every other relationship moment condensed into about three hours. My lease is up in a couple of months anyway. We’ll figure it out before then.”
Her lips settled on his, laughing and moving at the same time. Exploring and confident, she gently pushed him back onto the couch. Staying atop him, she moved back so her face was hovering over his. Again, Malcolm tried to take more of her weight, happy when Dani agreeably shifted so she was more comfortable.
They stilled, letting the moment linger. Ups, downs, and confessions that change everything. A chuckle rose up from his chest, happy and light. Not quite the date I was planning.
Dani brought a finger up, tracing his eyebrow, then running her fingers into his hair, “What’s so funny?”
“I wanted you to feel wooed tonight. I’m pretty sure I’m the one that got wooed instead.”
Her face scrunched in pleasure, “Do you feel wooed?”
Malcolm considered the question, probably more carefully than needed, “I feel special. Like I matter.”
He watched in fascination as her eyes watered, her throat bobbing with emotion before being able to respond, “Good. I’m very glad for that. Was… was theater your first idea?”
“No, a weekend away was. Do you like to travel?”
Dani’s face lit up, “I don’t know. We never had enough money as a kid. Then, with my dad and grandma gone, I’ve never really had the chance.”
“Let’s go. Anywhere. Where have you always wanted to go?”
“Poconos.”
Malcolm threw her a skeptical look, “You’re saying that because you know I’ll insist on paying, and you don’t want it to be extravagant. Hey!”
Dani lifted her hand from his nipple, “Don’t profile me.”
Spain. She’d love the art in Spain. “I’m going to surprise you. And stop tweaking my nipple.”
“Do you actually want me to stop?”
It was kind of annoying to have such an intuitive girlfriend sometimes, “No.”
His stomach swooped at the look of indulgent graciousness she gave him, “Ok, then.” She shifted her weight to the side, Malcolm tracing the side of her moving body with his hand as she slid next to him rather than atop. “You asked me about why I didn’t want people at work know about us.”
I did? “We’ve already talked about it. I’m not sure why I brought it up.” Malcolm racked his brains for some explanation as to why he would have asked. Vague memories of a voice like Dr. Whitly’s bringing it up during his almost panic attack surfaced.
Dani’s voice chased his father away, “I think there may be more to talk about. Maybe after some sleep, and after we let the ‘I love yous’, the ‘move ins,’ the whole ‘you have to consider you,’ and everything else settle in.”
He considered the plan. On one hand, at least on the surface, he felt really comfortable with keeping their relationship quiet. His family had figured it out, but he was pretty sure he’d handled that. Ainsley couldn’t care less. His mother was taken care of with a well-timed threat of starting a private investigator business called Milton PI if she told Gil. He was pretty sure that had done the trick.
But, if he brought it up and then forgot it, they probably did have things to work through there. “That makes sense. I’d like to finish the talk about romantic dates in the morning though, if you’re up for it. I feel like we’re pretty much there, I just want to make sure. Tonight’s been intense. I could be wrong.” Also, figure out if she has a passport.
He felt her lips against his Adam’s apple before a quiet, “You’ve got it,” reached his ears. She must be exhausted.
“Let’s go to bed so you can sleep.”
They moved to the bed, Malcolm giving the apartment a once over to extinguish any lingering candles. This night had not gone as he’d hoped.
I love you.
He smiled, feeling centered for once as he crawled into bed beside her. It went even better.
Dani immediately curled around him, taking a position he’d quickly figured out was her favorite. Head smashed into his neck around the area of his pulse, one leg thrown over his, hand on his heartbeat. There were a ton of psychological indicators wrapped up in the position, but it was one of the few things he couldn’t muster even an ounce of desire to profile.
Gently stoking her upper back, he waited patiently for her breathing to even out so he could slip out and head upstairs. He used the time to mull over what she’d said about Eve.
Other people don’t make you better. He knew that well-enough. Changing for others doesn’t work. He’d tried. Repeatedly. But maybe, when you have someone in your life that truly values you, valuing yourself starts to make at least a little more sense. Maybe that’s an important tipping point in a journey composed of a lot of tipping points.
It felt right - that tipping points had less to do with major milestones visible to everyone else, like asking a partner to move in, and more to do with the foundational blocks of life subtly reorienting. Even a little reorienting was a huge victory. One to be proud of and celebrate.
He’d never be like everyone else. But then, she wasn’t like everyone else either. Maybe others would have found tonight strange, but it worked… for them.
He cranked his neck to kiss her forehead when drowsy, half formed words reached him.
“Do you think everyone will be surprised when we tell them we’re together?”
He considered it. People won’t be surprised we’re close, but we have been really subtle. “I think they’ll be shocked at first, then fine with it pretty quickly.”
The sound of a drawn-out yawn punctuated her words, “Yeah, I think they’ll be surprised too. I doubt they noticed anything other than we’re friends.”
Malcolm squeezed his arms around her a little more firmly, “Agreed. Go to sleep.”
“Night. Love you.”
Tears pricked his eyes, “Love you too.”