Chapter Text
Dream looked into the mirror, adjusting his pearl necklace splayed across his collarbones. Luckily Patches’ hair hadn’t covered this dress unlike all the rest of the outfits he owned, trying to live up to last time and keeping the trend going he had decided to wear yet another dress fit for a rich trophy wife. It embraced his curves and was a rich pine making his emerald eyes appear even more vibrant.
Taking a last look in the mirror, the blonde slid his hands down the curves of his frame, smoothing out the curled up fabric to neatly press against his skin before checking if all the appliances were switched, giving Patches a last smooch Dream was out the door.
A deep breath is what escapes Dream's lungs when he sees in his driveway an unfamiliar car with his supposed lover and son. The car was painted in an enchanting shade of matt black Dream has yet to see before. It's lining was of silver that practically looked gold against the sun.
The sun was hot and the door handle was blazing, barely being able to hold it for long, Dream knocked on the tinted glass. The window now rolling down to give him a better view of the older pinkette. Techno was wearing a tight fitted white button up, the button left open to reveal a slight view of his toned chest.
“What are you looking at? Get in the car.” Techno resting his sunglasses over his head.
Dream rolled his eyes, “I would if I could Techno, I can barely hold the door handle without it burning my skin off.”
“Looks like we will have to leave Dream here, Dad” Ranboo said chirping in, shooting his last shot to avert his impending doom. Of course the teen's suggestion was ignored by the two adults, as Techno leaned across the passenger seat to unlock the door. Pulling himself back he harshly patted the aforementioned seat, Dream promptly taking his place beside the older.
The drive there was not humble with silence in the slightest, no, not when Dream of all people was sat in there. Being with the embodiment of two of the most antisocial people he has ever met, he does what he does best. Shout loud lyrics to torment his new son and continuously make kissy noises and pass flirtatious comments Techno's way. However, his chaos is put to an abrupt end when Techno pulls into a parking lot and pushes Dream's incoming kissy face away with his hand, groaning something unpleasurable.
Dream looked out the window, to realise that he had seen this parking lot a few days ago. Jumping out of the car, he stretched his limbs followed by a few squats.
“Does my ass look good?” Dream asked, looking at Techno for confirmation. What had Techno gotten himself into, simply groaning as an answer the dysfunctional family made their way into the bricked building. Ranboo had recited every single prayer known to man in hopes that this day would pass normally. This time when Dream and Techno walked into the marbled hallways, it wasn’t just the female staff waiting to greet them, the male staff was present too. Everyone trying to sneak a peek of the hottest couple in town. What was surprising was that the other parents who were attending the conferences also stopped midway to glance at the 'couple'.
From the corner of his eye, Dream caught sight of the blonde tuft of hair, Tommy frozen in the corner with horror painting his face, as war flashbacks played in his head.
A slight smirk pulled Dream's lips at the knowledge of - yes, I did that. He makes sure he slides his hand down and interlocks his fingers with Techno's thicker calloused ones, in view for the teen to see in all its glory. Techno side eyes him with puzzlement in his eyes, wondering why his hand was being trapped in this crazy blonde's grasp. Dream ignores the confusion and proceeds with a loving pull as his own tall lanky teen follows behind them. Using his other hand Dream pulls Techno closer, leaning his head on the broader set of shoulders, making it hard for him to walk. After 15 minutes of walking Dream realised he didn’t know which class they were supposed to go to.
“Ranboo, baby, which class do we have to go to?” Dream asked with a motherly tone,
“Oh we have passed the class twice now, I hoped that you would forget.” Ranboo had honestly hoped that they would end up walking aimlessly for two hours, 'til they had to go home.
The shorter blonde gave the teen a venomous smile, letting go of his ‘lover's’ hand he pinched his ‘sons’ cheeks. Pulling him hard so that he was bending down to Dream’s eye level.
“Now listen here you little shit, bring me to your class” Dream now letting go of Ranboo’s reddened cheek. Rubbing the irritated area he silently led his new found parent to the assigned class.
Walking into the class, there were four tables lined in a row, each having one teacher assisting a parent. As soon as the staff realised who had walked in, they jumped up from their seats, leaving the parents shocked.
A petite blonde was first to approach the ‘family’
“Oh hello Mr blade and … Mrs Blade” Venom dripping from the last part as she shot daggers at Dream. Continuing she spoke with honey dipped words as she solely looked at Techno. “I am Ranboo’s homeroom teacher”
“No you are not, my homeroom teacher is an 80 yr old man with amnesia. We still don't know his name” Ranboo said, correcting the imposter.
The teacher clears her throat over Ranboo's protest, trying to cover up her lies, "As I was saying, Ranboo, our beloved dearest-"
"Uh, no, he's my beloved." Dream interrupts with a look of disgust, because who does she think he is? Ranboo's mother? Pfft.
The teacher gives him a glare and Dream does not hesitate to give one back, "So, about Ranboo?.." Techno says, trying to keep the topic on Ranboo. The tiny blonde straightens her posture in her chair and draws on a loving smile, she sorts through her papers trying to find Ranboo’s progress report, but obviously fails at. She looks up at the trio, a slight glisten of sweat apparent on her forehead.
“Give me a second Mr Blade, seems like I left our dearest Ranboo’s report on my desk”
“Honey I think we should transfer Ranboo to a private academy, the staff here is oh so… in-com-pe-tent” Dream pulled closer to the pinkette, his lips grazing across the other’s ear lobe.
The ‘homeroom’ teacher visibly gritted her teeth at Dream’s comment and closeness to Techno.
Techno pinches his lips thin at the comment, clearly amused at his blonde's daring personality. Ranboo slouches in his chair, long fingers fidgeting together as he coughs in an attempt to clear whatever was stuck in his throat.
A faint "Aha." Was what caught the couple's attention when the blonde expertly singled out a folder with the marking of Ranboo Blade labeled on the index. She slid the rest of the documents that were not of use into a neat pile further away from them. Dream furrowed his brow - She actually found it. True, Dream felt malice against this mediocre teacher, but it was for a good reason!
That reason, he shall not state.
Technoblade removed his arm from Dream's lock and followed his arms on the table, drawing a knowing stare from the two adults in the room, "So..?"
Dream immediately tried to get back that touch, that sense of blatant affection, but alas it was clear Techno had drawn a line with how much physical contact he could handle. A loving smile pursed the lady's pink lips and Dream had to hold everything inside of him to not sucker punch that smile off her face.
"Ranboo has been extremely exceptional in my class. He actively participates in every class discussion, he is always the first to raise his hand whenever a question is being asked. Truly, he goes out of his way to even help his fellow students."
Techno side glanced Ranboo, a scoff passed his lips at the mere thought of Ranboo - His own son, being openly social. What a freaking liar this woman was. Ranboo held his face in his hands, drawing out a quiet groan at this teacher's obvious flirtation attempts that are literally just gross.
But, Dream, barely knowing his own 'son' at all, perks up with a snap to join the conversation "Well of course he's going to be the best. My beloved is the smartest kid I have ever met, don't even get me started on how many times he bombed being the main lead in his previous school's play. Honestly, he even tried having many arguments with his superiors - ahem, that were in the wrong might I add - about a specific math equation on his test."
Once the loving boast of a mother was over, quiet sobbing could be heard nearby. It was Ranboo. He was done. Finished. Deceased. Someone get him a coffin because he needs to lay down, this is shit he physically cannot take.
Techno just patted his son's back reassuringly before clearing his throat, "I'm glad you remember all of that stuff that definitely happened, honey."
Dream smiled, oh he smiled so wide it was a grin at that nickname. Honey. Yes, this was a fake family put on for display, but oh my god did Dream simp for those sensual words that dripped from the pinkett's lips.
Getting snapped back to reality by Techno’s laugh, he stared at his beloved ‘husband.’ another deep chuckle left him as he looked back at the small woman.
“I would love to know more about my son Robert” Techno now pointed at the name written on the performance sheet. Written in bold was ‘Robert Balde’ seems like the teacher still hadn’t noticed as she let out a confused laugh followed by a “I don’t get the joke Mr Blade”
Leaning forward Techno turned the sheet she was holding around and pointed at the still unnoticed name. Slowly the pale woman went crimson as she realised her mistake, immediately dropping the file she stared at the family with an embarrassed expression, she looked as if she wanted to dig a hole and hide in it forever.
Finally when her senses kicked in, she fumbled with her words finally managing to apologise to the Blades, if they had a dollar for everytime the word “sorry” left her mouth perhaps they could go on a family vacay to the Bahamas.
Bonus:
A Warning For All Plagiarists
Alone in this party ‘did my date stand me up?’ is all I can think about as I wipe my sweaty palms on the trousers of my tux. I look around the packed ballroom, everyone is with their dates drinking the night away. Delicate flutes filled with champagne getting passed around as bad decisions are made. The live orchestra plays nearby as I hang around the buffet table hoping to not bring too much attention to myself.
Trxth burst through the ballroom doors in a sleek black dress with gold trimmings last minute and orders the servants for a glass a wine before strutting over to his long-awaited date. I sigh in relief as the black haired man makes his way towards me. Scanning around the room I point towards an old bald man dancing the night away with a beautiful woman. The bald man being named “Plagiarizer '' on my roster. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Trxth walk ahead, wine in hand and confidence in his step, I bite back my lip and follow right behind him. If that strap around his revealing leg said anything, it was that that man's life was about to splatter the golden tiles with red. I pat down the creases from my tux jacket before removing it and slinging it over my arm. God I was a bundle of nerves at this point, I could only hope to feed off of Trxth's confidence. My sleek black dress shoes stop in place beside Trxth's heels that already made him taller than he was.
With a side glance from Trxth, I tighten my sleek ponytail and clear my throat, before my fingers interlaced with Trxth's much larger ones. My other hand pulls Trxth by his waist and I could already feel my neck straining as I attempt to meet his eyes in an attempt to give off a rich couple pseudo. I regret choosing Trxth as my partner for this mission, him being a foot and more taller than me - and god that stupid blatant face like he didn't even know what he was doing.
And the orchestra plays in these grand halls. The music now booming in the ballroom due to the dome shaped roof. Looking at Trxth also gave me a view of the beautiful renaissance art painted on the ceiling, littered with naked men and women. Trying to lead Trxth in ballroom dancing was like navigating through a maze with a giraffe, with every turn, every spin and every back aching dip we slowly made our way to the target. Plagiariser, the very man who had betrayed the organisation by distributing many writers' works without permission on Wattpad. Just last week he had stolen Trxth and my work “My mother walked into my school in a gala dress” and more works by Trxth, even “to reform”. He had distributed it under his name taking full credit for everyone’s hard work. Standing not even an inch away, I could smell his putrid stench, and seeing Trxth scrunch up his nose I could tell he did too. This stench might just assassinate us, but that's a risk we were willing to take for our fellow writers.
The orchestra grew louder with each step, signaling everyone had to switch partners. And with a twist to my feet, I let go of Trxth and motioned my way into Mr. Plagiarizer woman's grasp neatly. She was beautiful, bright purple irises complimenting her dark jaded black hair, lovely indeed. As the dance begun, my eyes momentarily drift to find Trxth holding the man in position, dancing ever-so eloquently with a polite smile on his face. When the pairs drifted into the crowd, I made sure to enjoy my time with this lovely lady.
Her aroma smelt of roses and something more. She smiled so innocently without any thought to what was about to happen.
A screech filled the ballroom causing the orchestra to stop playing its sweet melody.
The crowd bustles like wild animals and to my momentarily dismay, I lose the beautiful woman. A hand firmly wraps around my wrist, tugging me back to reality. "Let's go."The deep voice has me turn my head while practically getting dragged through the crowd by none other than a bloodied Trxth.
During the crowd’s ruckus, the guards spot Trxth's bloodied attire and make a run for us. Trxth lets go of my wrist, I have to hold my own now. Our footsteps clack up the rich stairs and we turn to the right to see an open balcony. Footsteps rushing across the marble floor grew closer and we looked at each other.
“Hands up” is what we heard as we turned around to face the hoard of guards holding up their guns, slowly stepping forwards. Slowly raising our hands we walked backwards till our backs hit the cold stone railings. The wind blew in the misty night, as the lights cascading through the windows hit our faces. The guard leading all the other officers spoke, “There is nowhere you can run now! Surrender yourself for the cold blooded murder of Mr Plageriser”
A smirk settled on both mine and Trxth’s faces as the whirring sounds of an incoming helicopter ruptured the wind. Lowering one of our hands and making a motion of salute we pushed ourselves off of the railing, catching ourselves on the fallen ladder as the helicopter drifted off, Trxth gives one last two finger salute to those nerds with conclusion.
Next morning the death of Mr Plagiarizer was all over the local newspapers, a warning for all future Plagiarists who wished to steal any writer’s work.
Moral of the story, dont fuck with writers.
The End.