Chapter Text
”Your mind you set on taking him, didn’t you?”
“This isn’t your…”
Yoda hit his gimer stick on the floor, harshly “Why you can’t do it you know. Be your padawan he will not.”
“Why not?” He glared at his old master “Last time I checked you had no voice in this.”
“Not maybe, but in front of the Council you will come. And there what will happen we all know.”
“Oh, really?” Yan stood, not above using his height for advantage “I am a member of that Council. I have raised three padawan to knighthood. I’m perfectly fit as a master. Why should they speak against me taking Obi-Wan?”
“Too attached you are. Not good for him it will be.”
That shut him up.
Because it was true. He was too attached.
Obi-Wan was simply too sweet to not be. And for as much as he’d like to deny it, he already started to think about the child as his.
On his last visit to Serenno, his sister spoke almost incessantly about her children and grandchildren - telling him way too much about his niece’s marriage life - and he had almost rebuked with stories about Obi-Wan.
Not about Komari, who was his just-knighted-former-padawan at the time, but about a child he met because he wandered into the holocron halls.
His first instinct had been bragging about a child he had no ties with.
That had been the moment he realised the truth. But distancing himself from Obi-Wan had done more harm than good, so he kept speaking and meditating with him after particularly strong visions - since Sifo-Dyas did it only once before disappearing every single time Obi-Wan needed him.
So yes, he was too attached, but that didn’t mean he could not be a good master.
“Recognise this you do, mmh.”
Lying would be useless “Yes. But…”
“Obi-Wan’s future you should think about. Selfish you are being. Other master he could have, if not for you. Thought about his wish have you?”
No, he never had.
After all the years he spent following him around Yan had never thought about the possibility of not being wanted, but he was not a crecheling, he could handle reject. If the reason of Obi-Wan’s attachment to him was the management of his vision only, he would simply accept it and keep helping him.
He was not so petty to force him to be his padawan if he desired another master.
This was exactly the reason why masters usually asked in private if a initiate wanted to study with them - to gave them the change of refusing without feeling pressured by peers or other adults.
That and the fact he could not know without asking first.
But now…
Yoda was amply involved in the younglings’ lives, he knew all of them and interacted with them on daily basis. It was common practice for padawan-seeking jedi to go to him first, to ask advice or to get the confirmation that that specifically initiate was interested in being chosen by them.
He knew Yoda had spoken to knights and masters about a child’s interest in them, and that he encouraged those who were not sure to be wanted or ready for such a challenge.
He was basically playing match-maker, and for as much as this sounded stupid it was effective.
Many master-padawan pairs were because of him.
So, if he was meddling this much and so openly then… then maybe Obi-Wan had spoken with him about this.
Maybe he wanted a master that had not come forward for fear of offending him.
Yan was neither blind or deaf, he heard the rumors and he knew the whole Temple was sure he would take Obi-Wan. No one else would ask him, because they were sure he was already taken. But if he wanted someone else…
It would be unfair.
Obi-Wan grumbled, pressing his face into the pillow. A soft sound, reassuring, and one who broke his line of thought.
This was useless.
He was not a padawan, those insecurities were unbecoming of him.
And he’d rather spoke with the boy and mend his pride after than suffer over this particular type of anxiety until then.
After all, between Jocasta e Sifo he could spread a rumor pretty quickly. For a child so promising as he was, masters were bound to fight for the honor of teaching him once they’ll know he was available.
Yoda hit his stick again, gaining his focus back.
“About Obi-Wan, this is. Remember it you should.”
With that, Yoda turned his back and walked away.
Yan did the same, facing the child again. He was still sleeping peacefully, not aware of the discussion it just happened.
He carded his finger through his hair, massaging his scalp gently.
He would wait for both of them to recover, then he would ask Obi-Wan if he wanted to be his padawan.
From there, he would decide how to act.
——------------
Of course the galaxy had other plans.
Or maybe the Force. Even if he had not the habit of blaming it for every little inconvenience.
He had barely been cleared for three days before the request of the Senate came.
A cry for help on Galidraan, a planet were apparently some Mandalorians were robbing and killing people without a reason. Just some brute mindless barbarians who had decided to burn the galaxy only because they could.
The Senate doesn’t beg, but it was a very close call.
They chose him to be the leader of the group sent to protect the citizens, since he was one of the few with some militar training and a bit of field experience on leading battles.
He could not refuse them.
The group, with Komari and way too many young knights in it, left only four hours after the request came.
The trip to Galidraan had been a mix of worry, excitement, tension, anxiety and restlessness. But he could not demand differently.
He felt the same.
They meditated together for the last three hours before the arrival.
What happened after the landing was something he would keep seeing in his nightmare for the rest of his life.
The memory of holding Komari’s lifeless body in his arms, covered by his own cape, will haunt him forever.
All those lives that had been lost on a battlefield when they were meant to protect peace would never leave him.
And what was really the worst of it, was that it had been a mistake.
They fought and died and killed and those Mandalorians were innocents.
They fall into a trap.
He fall into a trap.
It was his fault.
He spent so much time thinking about how it could have happened that he realized four months had passed only after his mind healer told him.
All the jedi who were at Galidraan were kept under strict surveillance, almost all of them had daily meeting in the halls.
Yan was following her orders - her advices, as she called them - literally. He meditated, ate, slept and did everything as and when she said. It was the only way for him to actually do things.
Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas were always around, in a way so overbearing that he had actively avoided them for the last seven days.
He appreciated their effort, but his mind could not think of anything except Galidraan.
Everything else was so meaningless right now that it barely registered.
Until the day he met Obi-Wan in the halls.
The boy looked healthy, so he was probably there to visit a friend. At least one thing was good then.
Yan didn’t had the energy to shield his pain in the Force to be child-friendly, so he just nodded to answer his waving and went to his appointment.
Healer Sahaf was once again the one who brought up the actual effects.
“Master Dooku, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I saw you talking with Initiate Kenobi…”
“I didn’t hurt him.”
“I’m not saying you did. Your shields are almost too good considering you are still healing, and you actually did a lot of progress in these last months. But I know the rumors and… I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to take a padawan. Not until you will get cleared and I’m afraid it may need several months if not years for that to happen.”
He didn’t answer.
What could he say after all?
Healer Sahaf waited a bit, then she started their session in the usual way.
But he wasn’t listening. Not really.
Now, next to Galidraan another thought got a place.
He had forgotten the boy. He had and now he would have to abandon him.
Yoda won.
Someone else would raise Obi-Wan Kenobi.
—-----------------
He had never, never been so angry in all his life.
How dare he?!
The bloody troll not only lied to him, using his insecurities and half-attachment to undermine his relationship with Obi-Wan, he lied about other masters wanting him, he lied about Obi-Wan wanting another master, he lied… and he did so because the Force had chosen for them.
Because in all his wisdom Yoda decided that a sweet and rule-following child like Obi-Wan was a good match for Qui-Gon Jinn.
A whole Temple full of jedi and he chose the one who had recently lost a padawan, and to the Dark Side no less.
How!?
How did the Council allowed it?!?
He was still seeing a mind healer after almost a year and Qui-Gon had got approved as a master. It was inconceivable!
It was ridiculous.
And this even without considering how Obi-Wan got chose.
He had to offer his life to be considered worthy of a padawanship. In a deep sea mine. With a bomb collar around his neck.
Oh the Force could kill him instantly if that was going to happen again.
He was going to protect Obi-Wan from Qui-Gon’s arrogance.
That was a promise.
Bandomeer happened while he could not interfere.
Melida/Daan lasted the time to go back and rescue him. He handled the war and those soul-less people who had chose violence over their own children, because Obi-Wan was right in saying that it was the will of the Force and their duty as jedi to save them.
He got Obi-Wan a mind healer, for a thirteen years old boy should have never seen that, Qui-Gon’s opinion on therapy be damned.
His grandpadawan would not pay for Yoda’s mistakes.
He was not a pet for Qui-Gon’s therapy, and he was going to make sure he would grow into the finest jedi the Order had ever seen.
The Force sang to him in agreement.