Chapter Text
Derek will think it’s a little funny, later, how easily Alex and Rosa accept that he may be gone the next couple of days. How they both chuckle, but promise to make sure that Olga doesn’t get too upset if he does decide not to show up, nor let her get so worked up that she gets it into her head to follow him.
Feeling a lot better than he had that morning, Derek begins the long trek back to his house, Bean’s exuberant barking a joyful additive to the weight that has lifted from his back, now that he has decided to do something.
Humming in thought, Derek wonders at what the people of Beacon Hills would think seeing him return again, this time with a dog in tow. He wonders at the rumors that might grow from that, whether they would remember him and his love for animals from Before or would it just turn into something else that he was terrible at.
Like he was part of a dog fighting ring or something like that.
He allows that thoughts to keep him from thinking of who he really doesn’t want to see there, who might have changed Stiles’ opinion of him so sharply that he decided to stay in Beacon, or the faces of certain people as they gave him the news that his cowardice has caused-
For a moment, Derek thinks it’s because he’s thinking of Stiles so much, and almost dismisses the scent of loam and petrichor floating through the air. He is right next to the surrounding woods, and there was a bit of rainfall the past few days.
Then the wind shifts and Bean starts barking in excitement, pulling his leash out of Derek’s suddenly nerveless fingers.
There’s someone standing on Derek’s front porch.
Someone with a familiar pair of shoulders, backpack slung low on them, and a longed-for voice that greets Bean as soon as the puppy rushes up to him.
After that, it’s an eerie reflection of the first time that Stiles showed up; he straightens up, arms crossed over his chest like he’s expecting Derek to throw him off of his property, Bean bounding like a pogo stick around his legs, filling the air with his happy yips as his leash flaps around Stiles’ feet
Derek, on the other hand, is frozen where he’s standing and unsure if he could identify the swirl of feelings tumbling through his chest at the sight of Stiles here. He can easily identify Stiles’ emotions; apprehension, defiance, and a fear-worry mixture that makes a whine fight to slip past Derek’s lips.
There’s this long, drawn out moment where they stare at each other, neither really wanting to be the one that breaks the almost-silence, before Stiles sighs heavily and looks to the side with a grimace.
“Scott stole my phone.”
It takes a moment for the words to make their way through the fog that has overcome Derek’s senses, but even then, he can’t understand what Stiles is saying.
“What?”
Stiles grimaces again, dropping down to finally give Bean the pets that he so desperately wanted, a quicksilver grin slipping across his features as Bean gives him a kiss or two. Once the puppy has been calmed enough that he’s just happily panting pressed against Stiles’ side, Stiles turns back to Derek and sighs at seeing that he hasn’t moved the entire time.
Derek isn’t sure that he could move, even more sure now that this Stiles is a dream or some sort of desperate hallucination. He’s had many dreams like this, in between the nightmares, where Stiles had shown up and given him a viable reason for his sudden silence.
A stolen phone hadn’t really crossed his mind, making this whole thing feel more like reality than anything else, but there is still that part of him that wonders if this is simply too good to be true...
It’s that fear that makes him drop his gaze to his fingers and counts off.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
Thumb, pointer, middle, ring, pinky. Pinky, ring, middle, pointer, thumb.
All there.
Stiles is really here.
Breathing in and exhaling slowly, Derek slowly raises his head to where Stiles is crouched, taking in the distraught expression on his face as he watches Derek count before meeting his gaze.
Derek still isn’t sure what he should say to Stiles’ announcement, whether he should ask that Stiles explain further, or just accept it at face value. Part of him is so twisted up by just seeing Stiles here that he’s not sure what would come out of his mouth if he opened it.
Thankfully, Stiles never seemed to have a problem filling up the silences and it gives Derek a moment to get his bearings as he listens to Stiles’ ramble.
“I know that sounds like a line, I know. It- it took me a little bit to even-” Stiles takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, finally moving his gaze from Derek as his jaw works.
Derek, on the other hand, couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.
“I wasn’t subtle about texting you. I liked that we were texting, that we still were connected even though I was... wasn’t here. It made everything that happened, everything that we had talked about, feel more real, you know? While everything was going down in Be- with Scott, I was always looking at my phone to see if you had sent a message or a picture of Bean, and I started talking about coming back after all the shit settled. My Dad was more than happy to see me off, considering he always looked so pained whenever I came back. Scott... Scott wasn’t as thrilled.”
Stiles shifts where he’s crouched, so that he’s sitting down on the front steps instead of hovering over them, and Bean takes that moment to plop himself into Stiles’ lap with this air of not moving any time soon. Derek decides it is safe enough for him to take a few steps closer to the man that has a tighter hold on his heart than he realizes.
Stiles doesn’t seem to notice that, instead focusing on Bean as he tells this next part, “Scott had always been... touchy about me - about anyone, really – leaving Be- just leaving. He had said that we already found what we were going to do for the rest of our lives, why did we need to bother with college or anything else? We got into a big fight when I said I was still going, Scott even going so far as to call me selfish.”
Derek can’t help the growl that slips out, still angry that Scott hurt Stiles’ future due to his own selfishness. He knows that Stiles was so happy to be accepted into his first choice, his worry for his father notwithstanding, because Stiles had texted walls of excited plans to Derek when he first received his acceptance letter.
Stiles lets out a soft laugh at that, shaking his head as he buries his face in Bean’s fur for a few moments. Taking a deep breath, he lifts his face and gives Bean’s head a quick kiss before speaking rapidly.
“Anyway, Scott had been a little quieter this time, only frowning every now and again when I picked up my phone to talk to you. He didn’t say anything until we figured out what was bothering everyone — it was a nymph, by the way. They were easy to talk to and only wanted fewer people messing with their lake — and had mentioned that I would have to tell my girlfriend about this sooner rather than later, that it was rude of me to keep her in the dark. His entire demeanor changed when I said that it wasn’t a random girl, that I was talking to you and we had been hanging out.”
Stiles’ gaze meets Derek’s and Derek feels like he’s falling, part of him wanting to press against Stiles’ form, use every sense at his disposal to make sure that Stiles was here, but another part of himself is wounded and hurt, not even wanting to listen to Stiles’ tale and just push him away...
It’s a struggle to keep that from showing, but there must be something that Stiles can see, because there is a flash of guilt or grief or some kind of emotion across Stiles’ face before he presses it back to Bean’s fur, muttering the rest of his story into the pup’s side.
“My phone went missing after that conversation and I flipped out when I realized that I couldn’t find it and no one else knew what your number was. The fact that you didn’t have an email, Facebook, or anything that I could use to contact you made me freak out even more. I searched for days, going over where we were and what we did, demanding that everyone keep a nose out for even the slightest hint of it. I even went back to the nymph to make sure it hadn’t fallen in the lake when we were fighting. It was a Thursday by then, so I knew that you were going to call-”
“I almost came back to Beacon Hills because I could not get a hold of you.”
Derek feels a muted sense of satisfaction at the way that Stiles’ gaze jerks to him at that, at the pale tone that takes over his face and the way his mouth drops in shock. He wants Stiles to feel a modicum of the fear and uncertainty that Derek had felt when the texts and calls became less and less, only to completely disappear.
“After you… after you stopped talking to me, in any form, I originally thought that our- our fight had made you angrier than you said and you were giving me the silent treatment. Then, as time went on, I thought that something like what happened with L- Laura happened again. I thought that I was going to go back to Beacon Hills and find out that you had- that you were-”
“Hey, Derek, hey, it’s okay…” There’s the sound of footsteps and Derek can feel Stiles’ hands gripping his shoulders, but he can’t think past the denial that’s making his hands shake and his head twist in the negative. “I’m right here, big guy, it’s all fine-”
“It’s not fine, Stiles! Because you still left, and you stopped talking to me, and you can’t do that! I can’t- I’m not- You can’t do that to me!”
“Whoa, Derek! It’s okay, I’m right here. I promise I’m right here.” As soon as Stiles presses his body against Derek’s is when he realizes that it's not just his hands; he’s shaking, and his face is wet when Stiles presses his hands against his cheeks, eyes wide and worried. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, okay? I promise, I’m here!”
Despite the grip on his face, Derek shakes his head again, only barely keeping a hold of the howl that wants to break free.
Because Stiles still doesn’t get it, that it isn’t just that he was gone and that Derek couldn’t get a hold of him, that him being here doesn’t just wipe away all the pain and anxiety that Derek went through while he was gone...
It’s that Derek knows this is temporary; that Stiles has far too many threads binding him to Beacon Hills and there will be a time when he will be called back there, taking every bit of evidence that he was ever here in the first place and making Derek wonder if he was even there at all.
And then Derek will have to deal with this loss once more.