Chapter Text
Life had to be pulling a cruel joke on you.
Or maybe you were dreaming and you would wake up and everything would be okay.
And yet a part of you already knew nothing was okay right now.
This was real.
He was real.
Dominick Carisi was standing in front of you.
For a moment neither of you said anything. You were both afraid of what would happen next. So you both stood there staring at each other.
Waiting for the other to interrupt reality.
To bring it crashing.
"Momma who's that?"
And there it was.
You saw his eyes travel to Rosalie as she hide behind your legs, curious of the stranger.
Stranger.
How you wished he was.
You saw the hurt in his eyes as the filled with tears.
How dare him.
He has no right.
He hurt me.
"Rosalie darling why don't you go watch TV for a bit and then I'll give you ice cream?" Your voice trembled.
The little girl smiled before giving small wave to Sonny and disappearing to her room.
You saw him choke back a sob as he met your eyes.
"She's so big" he said quietly.
No.
He doesn't get to play the sad card. The broken and alone card. It had already been used and it had only left devastation in its way.
"Yeah she is. What do you want?" You said coldly.
You saw him flinch at the sound of you voice. He had never heard you be this cold.
"I uh...I thought I could come and we could talk." He said avoiding you eyes.
You gave a small forced huff of annoyance.
"Talk? Now you want to talk? You know what? We were done talking the minute you kissed Amanda!" You voice was getting louder as you saw him look down in shame.
It was truly amazing how although he was taller than you he seemed so small right now.
Vulnerable.
Hurt.
Heartbroken.
Just like you were all those years ago.
"I jus-st wanted to meet her. To apologize to you". His voice broken and near crying.
You felt so much anger.
It had all been pent up over the years waiting to blow.
And it finally did.
"Oh yeah? Well sorry to tell you that you just came to waste your time. I don't need any of your apologies or pity or anything else. You hurt me. YOU BROKE ME!" You shook angrily.
"I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I never meant to hurt you."
Right when you were about to go off on him again he was on his knees sobbing and crying.
"I'm so sorry. Please, I'm sorry. Please," he sobbed uncontrollably as his breathing quickened and his whoke body began to shake.
No.
This cannot be happening.
Sonny Carisi was having an anxiety attack.
Immediately your anger was forgotten as you rushed to his side and embraced him.
Despite everything, no one deserved to go through that alone.
Even if you had.
"Hey. Look at me it's okay. Shhhh it's okay." You tried to comfort him as the strong passionate man you had known broke down in front of you.
He cried saying things incoherently and you pulled him closer to you.
"ItsnotokaynothingisokayI'msosorry" he muffled into your chest.
Nothing is okay.
Understatement of the year.
As you rubbed his back he slowly began to calm down.
And become self concious of his surrondings.
He lightly pushed you away as he stood and took a good couple steps back, hs eyes wide and full of fear and regret.
"I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to do that," he said nervously, once again avoiding your gaze.
"No it's fine. I was a little too harsh." You said softly.
"Rightfully so," he said matching your tone.
There was a quiet silence between you for a while.
It gave you time to really think about all of this.
You sighed.
Rosalie deserved to know who her father was and have the opportunity to spend time with him.
"Sonny," you finally said.
His eyes looked up at you unsure.
"Her name is Rosalie and she is four. She's so beautiful. She has the prettiest smile and most wonderful laugh. She lights up any room she is in and is the amazingest little girl in the whole world." You say taking a pause before continuing.
"She deserves to know you. And I don't have the heartto keep her away from you. But there are conditions."
He looked up at you with hopefull, pleading eyes, "Anything"
"You can come see her whenever you want. You just have to let me know. You will go with her to every field trip and parent conference. You will spoil her rotten and give her all the love she deserves. You will be her knight in shining armour," you pause as you felt your eyes well up in tears.
"And if you ever break her heart, I swear to you, you will never see her again and I'll make sure to make your life a living hell," you trembled out you voice threatening to crack.
"Because that little girl deserves nothing less."
Sonny was in tears as he nodded.
"Never. I promise you. I will never hurt her," he said gently before meeting you eyes, "or you again."
He tried to reach for you hand but you stepped back realizing how close you had gotten.
"Don't."
He looked down shamefully.
"Look Sonny. I was hurt pretty bad that day. And I ran. Away from you, from everything. But yet my feelings for you seemed to follow me. Because somehow my heart still felt something for you. It took years to get through that. I don't know what the future holds for us but please, I can't do that. I don't want for this to get complicated. Maybe someday I'll change my mind or find someone else. But for right now I just want to clear my head and just be friends."
"Right. Of course." He said.
You sighed softly.
It was nice to get that off your chest.
You looked at him and gave him a small smile.
"Do you want to meet your daughter?"
"Yes," he said returning your smile.
Maybe you were both never meant to be togther or maybe it was just bad timing. Maybe the future would change that. You had grown into a different person and so had he. There were so many possiblities for the future and for once you were ready.
Ready for what lied ahead.
Because life had a funny way of doing things.
And you were finally at peace.