Chapter Text
The further Leo moved from his old life, the more he realized he should probably physically move on too. He kept running into his old dealers around Detroit, and Dad wasn't that hard to avoid but he was still a little too close. And then Markus... Fuck, every android in town loved him and wanted to talk about him and... it was a lot. So Leo spent some time poring over maps and thinking about where he wanted to go. When he got in a bad headspace he took to taking long drives out of town.
He was driving one night when he spotted a building shaped like a giant ice cream cone. Tires skidded on the road and he made a wild U turn on the empty highway.
He’d eaten at places like this on summer vacation when he was a kid, and the shape always captivated him. The building was abandoned, and looked like it had been for a long time. There were no-trespassing signs on the windows, and a few pieces of equipment and furniture inside.
And a FOR SALE sign.
And for the first time in his life, Leo Manfred knew exactly what he wanted.
It took a while to save up for a deposit, but he got a decent job and made it happen without asking Carl for money. Markus had offered, actually. He’d actually been interested. And that was... really cool, actually. It made him not want to take the money, but Markus insisted, and now he was the proud owner of an ice cream building.
He’d been taking classes for billing and coding, and managed to get a remote job that allowed him to work from home (work from cone?). He spent a lot of time cleaning up the cone and getting it repaired. Some of Markus’s friends had helped with that too, as favors to Markus, which... was also nice, but awkward as hell, and he was grateful because they actually did a great job, but he still tried to pay them what he could but they wouldn’t take it because of Markus and... Leo tried not to think about it. Markus insisted Leo didn’t owe him anything, but that didn’t change Leo’s feelings about it.
Anyway, now he had an ice cream cone and didn’t know what to do with it.
Like, obviously he could sell ice cream, but then he’d have to buy or make ice cream. And clean up ice cream. And it was fucking sticky.
Leo was playing Pokemon while he worked when he heard a loud knock downstairs. He saved his work and the game, then jumped up and scrambled down the ladder into the cone.
“What?” he snapped, opening the door.
“What flavors you got?” A stocky man a little shorter than Leo peered around.
“What? None! I don’t have any ice cream!”
“Seriously? Living in this thing!?” He made a face. “Is it like... the world’s largest ice cream cone or something, then?”
“Um... no. Maybe Michigan’s largest. Or... at least Jackson County’s largest.”
“Fucking lame.” He looked over Leo’s shoulder. “Is it like... a museum or something, then? A historic site? Anything?”
“Yeah, it’s mine! I live here!”
“You live here? In an ice cream cone?”
Leo puffed up his chest. “Yeah, what about it?”
The man stepped back to look up at the tip of the cone. “Wish I’d found it when it was for sale.”
A grin broke over Leo’s face. “Right? Luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me! I’m Leo.”
The guy squinted at him. “...Leo Manfred,” he said slowly.
“Uh -”
“Yeah. I arrested you at least three times.”
Leo paled.
The man grinned and stepped forward to slap his back hard. “Finally doing something worthwhile with your life, huh? About time, dumbass.”
Leo swallowed. “You’re... Detective Reed, right?”
Reed made a face. “I’m on vacation. Gavin.”
“Gavin,” Leo tried cautiously. He grinned.
“Pretty baller move to live in a giant ice cream cone and not sell ice cream or make it a roadside attraction or something,” Gavin admitted.
“I thought about selling ice cream, but then I’d have to buy it and... sell it.”
“Yeah,” Gavin said slowly, watching him.
"What else do you think I could do with it? It’s not the biggest ice cream cone in the world...”
“Nobody knows that, you could say it is.” Gavin shrugged. “Or turn it into a museum for weird shit. Like, you ever watch Gravity Falls?”
“A couple reruns. Wasn’t it about like... creepy shit? Ghosts and monsters and shit?”
“Well - that was part of it, there was a fuckton of lore, side plots, and fucking amazing family dynamics - anyway. Yeah.”
“Do we have any... cryptids around here?” Leo asked. “Like Bigfoot? We’ve got Bigfoot, right? I could make it a Bigfoot museum.”
“That’d be kinda cool,” Gavin admitted. “There’s like a hundred Bigfoot museums out west.”
“Oh. I guess I should look up some other cryptids, then...”
“If that’s what you wanna do.” Gavin shrugged. “Anyway, no ice cream?”
“I - I’ve got some freezie pops upstairs if you want,” Leo offered. “I think it’s just the green ones, they suck. ...And my freezer’s broken so they’re half melted. Want one?”
“Gross. No. I’ll find a gas station.” Gavin turned around and walked towards his car.
“O-okay! Um - thanks... for stopping! Are you stopping back here on your way back?”
“Not for your nasty green freezie pops.”
“I can buy some ice cream!” Leo yelled as Gavin drove away.
A week later there was the crunch of gravel outside and loud, repeated honking. Leo ran to the window up in the swirl and peered out. Gavin flipped him off and smirked as he drove off.
“What an asshole,” Leo muttered.
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The following year, Gavin parked in the little gravel parking lot and followed the sign to the door of the ice cream cone. A little bell jingled when he opened it.
“Welcome to - oh hey, it’s you!” Leo looked up from the counter with a grin.
“Yeah, vacation again. You’re still here.”
“Yeah, I took your advice! Look!” Leo gestured around. The walls of the cone were covered in pictures, news articles, and pages from an old book. There were little bottles of water on a table next to Leo, and a large wrinkled statue hunched in the middle of the floor.
“What the fuck is that?” Gavin asked.
“It’s a squonk!” Leo said, grinning. “They’re the ugliest things ever, and super shy about it. They’re always crying because they’re so ugly, and they’re really fast too, and if you catch them or even look at them they just... dissolve into their own tears!” He pointed at the table. “You can buy a dissolved squonk for $19.99!”
“That’s a cheap bottle of water. You tore the label off.”
“I’ve sold a few already.” Leo grinned conspiratorially.
“Phck, that’s pathetic! ...They’re supposed to live around here? I’ve never heard of them.”
“Well no, they live in Pennsylvania. In the woods. ...But we’ve got woods here too, so the could’ve migrated! Climate change, deforestation, habitat destruction.” Leo waved his hand dismissively.
Gavin stared at him. “You’re such a dumbass. Plenty of cryptids or weird shit around here, and you pick something from Pennsylvania. And that thing is fucking creepy.” He turned to go.
“W-wait! I got my freezer fixed, you want something?”
Gavin paused. “What do you have?”
“Uh, I’ve got ice. Freezie pops - all frozen, and there’s different colors! And, um, I think I’ve got the end of some chocolate chip ice cream!”
“...I don’t want your fucking leftovers. You got purple?”
“Yeah! Hold on.” Leo scrambled up the ladder, and Gavin read the squonk articles while he listened to the thumps from the top floor. Then Leo hurried down and offered a purple freezie pop.
“Here!”
Gavin took it and ripped the top off with his teeth. “How much?”
“Um. Uh. I guess like 25 cents? I found the bag in the trash, so -”
“Phck,” Gavin cursed, pausing for a moment to glare at the frozen treat. Then he took another bite. “Still good, I guess.”
“Right? They’re sealed and they’re just chemicals and sugar. They can’t go bad.” Leo smiled hopefully.
Gavin dug in his pocket and flipped Leo a quarter, which he didn’t catch and had to chase after. “This place make a lot of money?”
“Oh, no. No, I do remote billing and coding up there.” He pointed up. Gavin looked at the ceiling.
“You’re so fucking weird. Live in an ice cream cone.” He shook his head, finishing the freezie pop and dropping the wrapper in the trash. “See you around.”
Gavin stopped by every year, on the way there and back from vacation. He started telling Leo stories from work, and Leo would tell him about weird visitors he’d had.
“So, uh... where do you go every year?” Leo asked.
“I grew up in Chicago, got some friends and family back there. ...And there’s a shit-ton more to do than in Detroit.” Gavin squinted around the cone. “What do you do here?”
“I do a lot of online shit. And I started walking around. Hiking and shit. Um - there’s an abandoned dinosaur park down the road, it’s really awesome. I take pictures there a lot.
“...Yeah? I’ve never heard of it.”
“It’s private property, they don’t really let people in.”
“But you’re friends with them?”
“Never met ‘em.” Leo grinned.
“So you’re trespassing,” Gavin said flatly. “You know you could fucking die like that? Everybody out here’s got a gun, you’re gonna end up shot.”
“Nah, I’m careful. I’ve never seen anybody there.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, don’t do that.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not, you’re gonna end up dead in the woods!”
“Wanna come with me? Watch my back? You’d be good at that.”
Gavin stared at him. “You know I’m a cop, right? I could arrest you for admitting to it!”
“Uh - no, I’m pretty sure you can’t. You know, that thing where your turf is Detroit, and this... isn’t yours. Right?”
Gavin snarled and punched the countertop. “Phck.”
“Yeah. So come with me!”
“I’ve got shit planned, I’m not gonna go creeping around the woods with you on private property!”
“Fine. Next time?”
“No,” Gavin said, rolling his eyes, and left.
Leo wasn’t expecting to see him again until Saturday, but he walked back in the door on Thursday morning.
“Hey! Back early?”
Gavin glared at him for a long moment. “...If you’re gonna go get shot in the woods, you’re not going alone,” he growled.
“What?”
Gavin searched his face, anger increasing. “Don’t fucking pretend you forgot.”
“Oh. Oh! You wanna go see the dinosaurs with me?”
Gavin gave a sigh of exasperation. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Fuck yeah!” Leo grinned. “Wanna go now? Nobody comes here on weekdays.”
“Is it safer to go at night?”
“No, they work, probably better to go now. Hold on!” Leo closed his laptop and raced up the ladder, then came back down with a camera.
“Oh, you meant like... real photography. Not just your phone.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda a hobby of mine, I dunno. I’m not a professional or anything. Ready to go?”
“We’re taking your car.”
“Um, it’s not running right now, I haven’t gone to get it fixed yet.”
“Fine,” Gavin huffed, digging in his pocket for his keys. “Let me know where to go.”
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Gavin parked under some trees on the side of the road. They hopped over the guard rail and crawled through a wooden fence, then Leo led the way down a cracked asphalt path. They passed through an old cast iron gate with dinosaurs on it.
“Look, there’s a stegosaurus and a dimetrodon,” Leo pointed out excitedly. “The brachiosaurus’s neck fell off over there.”
“Shit, this is old,” Gavin muttered.
“Yeah, it’s from the 1950s or something. Older than my dad. Wanna ride the brontosaurus?” Leo pointed.
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-one.”
“Phck,” Gavin glanced between Leo and the dinosaur.
“Why, how old are you?”
“Just turned forty yesterday.”
“Shit! Happy birthday, you should’ve said something! Especially a big one like that!”
“I’m - I’m too old for that,” Gavin muttered, looking away.
“That’s pretty old, but you’re still in good shape,” Leo encouraged him. “You look like you could handle climbing on a dinosaur. And the brontosaurus is easy. You won’t break your hip or anything.”
“Phck, shut up. I shouldn’t’ve even come,” Gavin growled.
“No, come on! You can do it.” Leo paused, sizing him up. “I’ll do it.” Gavin didn’t answer, so he ran over and climbed up on the dinosaur. “See? Easy! And it’s fucking amazing! Ride a dinosaur for your birthday!”
“If you keep yelling like an idiot I’m gonna get shot for my birthday,” Gavin snarled, but he stalked over and hesitated a moment before getting a leg up on the dinosaur’s foot and jumping right onto the back.
“Fuck, man, you’re like... super athletic! I’ll bet you work out all the time.”
“I’ve gotta keep in shape for the job,” Gavin muttered, his face a little red.
“You’re fucking awesome! Can you do like... kick-flips and ninja moves?”
“I’m not gonna do dumb shit out in the middle of nowhere on some random redneck’s property.”
“Why not? Nobody’s watching!” Leo leaned forward to grab the neck and swung around the front to hang off the dinosaur like a sloth. He slowly started climbing up towards the head.
Gavin watched him for a long moment, then slid down the tail and walked over to the tyrannosaurus rex.
“Yeah, go for it!” Leo cheered, and fumbled to get a better grip on the brontosaurus’s neck.
“Don’t fall, I didn’t come out here to take you to the ER,” Gavin growled, and started climbing up the back.
“Why did you come?” Leo asked, glancing over. “I thought you’d just stop by on Saturday and then... go back to Detroit. Didn’t you have plans?”
Gavin frowned, concentrating on the climb. He didn’t speak again until he made his way onto the big flat head and sat down. “Yeah. I changed them. Dinosaurs sounded like more fun.”
“Right?” Leo grinned, hanging off the head. There was a loud crack, and Leo jolted and let go, dropping to the ground.
“Phck, don’t move! You okay? Breathe,” Gavin shouted as he slid down the dinosaur’s back and ran over to him.
“I’m fine. Um - he’s not.” Leo looked up at the brontosaurus, which now had a large crack in its neck.
Gavin looked up at it. “...We should get out of here.”
“Yeah.” Leo dusted himself off. “Hey, you should buy this place when the owner dies. All this could be yours.”
“What would I do with a bunch of shitty old dinosaurs?”
“It’d be fun. You liked it, right?”
“I guess...”
Leo pulled out his camera and showed Gavin the gallery. There were pictures of him scowling on the ground, frowning on the brontosaurus’s back, running between the dinosaurs, focused on climbing, and then grinning down from the top of the tyrannosaurus’s head.
Gavin’s forehead smoothed out as he looked at the pictures. “Yeah, I guess so.” He grabbed the camera and snapped a picture of Leo, blurry and surprised.
“Hey!”
“There’s no pictures of you being an idiot. We’ll have to go back next year.”
“Really?” A smile spread over Leo’s face.
“Yeah. What else is there to do around here?”
“Um, there’s a Mystery Spot. Gravity’s weird there.”
“Phck, gotta see that. Anywhere to eat?”
“The gas station’s got good fried chicken. Or there’s this diner over in the next town that’s amazing.”
“Shit, this really is the middle of nowhere,” Gavin muttered, shaking his head. “You wanna... grab dinner later? If you’ve got time.”
“Fuck, man, time’s not even real! Of course I want to! ...With you, right?”
“That’s - why would I even say anything if I didn’t mean with me!”
“Like a date.” Leo was grinning.
Gavin sighed and rolled his eyes. “Sure. Yeah. Like a date. I’m gonna regret this.”
“Too late, you asked, can’t take it back now! Um, I could show you around the cone, too. If you want.”
“Your squonk museum?”
“No, I mean up in the ice cream.”
“You’re so fucking weird. ...If I die without seeing the inside of an ice cream cone, my whole life’s been a waste.”
Leo elbowed him companionably. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you! My cone’s always open to you!”
“Don’t make you regret this.”
“Too late!”