Chapter Text
panic attacks, as required by the dsm-5, had to fulfill a set criteria before it could be considered as one. a variation of symptoms that would peak within ten minutes.
it couldn’t even have been ten seconds before wonpil’s perfect o in shock shifted into a full-on grin, and then he was laughing.
crisis averted. momo wasn’t going to be a cause for a break-up today. hopefully, she’d never be one.
“what’s the joke?” dahyun asked when she came back.
“so,” wonpil began. he rubbed his hands together, mischief glinting in his eyes. momo felt like this was a moment that should’ve been between wonpil and dahyun alone, but before she could excuse herself, wonpil was talking. “you told momo that you’re geographically single?”
dahyun darted her eyes to momo, then to wonpil. back to momo for a second, then held wonpil’s in a stare-off that momo felt she shouldn’t be involved in, so she ducked and focused her attention on the puppy nestled in between her legs.
“i did, yeah.” dahyun said, slowly. momo looked up just in time to catch dahyun pinching wonpil in warning— on what, momo didn’t know.
“alright, alright.” wonpil was teasing, that much momo caught on.
a server brought them wonpil’s refill of fries, and conversation eased back to involve all three of them and the occasional dog that’d pass by their table.
the café’s manager approached them, and dahyun stood up too quickly to be normal. she gave momo a smile and wonpil a glare before excusing herself to talk with the manager, and wonpil waved her off all too happily.
“so, momo.” wonpil said, turning his back to dahyun’s direction. “dahyun’s never gonna tell you this because that woman is as loyal as they go,” he stopped to laugh at his own statement.
the pause made momo was nervous. what was dahyun’s boyfriend up to?
“i’m gay, momo.” wonpil said, mischief gone and a gentle smile back on his face. “dahyun’s great, i told you that earlier and i tell everyone i know that too, but here’s something only three people in this country know— four, now that you’re in on it. i’m gay, dahyun’s my beard.”
momo heard of weirder arrangements throughout interviewing countless patients, so it was easy to keep a straight face. doesn’t mean that she wasn’t confused as hell.
“okay,” momo said. she scratched the back of boo look alike’s ear, partly because the puppy liked it, partly because she was at a loss on what to do with the information wonpil gave and being close with dogs was comforting. “i’m not gonna tell anyone.”
wonpil nodded. “i know you won’t, because you’re great too. dahyun’s really picky with people, did notice?”
momo did. dahyun was kind to everybody, was probably friends with every one in the hospital, but she stuck with chaeyoung and tzuyu if it was possible. only recently started hanging out with momo’s circle.
momo didn’t know where she was in dahyun’s web, but they sat together in the hospital’s cafeteria and they shared dinner outside when they’d both be off. dahyun was in her meme era, constantly sending momo memes unsolicited, and momo would send her random stuff back.
everything they did was within the line of what friends would do. so yeah, ‘friend’ seemed a safe way to name it.
“yeah, i noticed.” momo said, matching wonpil’s smile.
“noticed what?” dahyun asked, peering behind wonpil’s shoulder. “pili if you’re telling momo weird stuff, i’m getting back the key to the apartment.”
“what i told momo is nothing new to you, hyunnie. figure it out by yourself.” wonpil gave momo a wink, and a sign to keep her mouth shut. probably just to irritate dahyun, and it worked and dahyun was whining to them both.
“you take care of her, okay? i would, but i’m out of the country more days than i’m in, and that girl is the worst when it comes to pointless messaging.” wonpil said, when dahyun left them by the entrance to go get her motorcycle.
“i don’t think she needs to be taken care of— she’s a big girl.” momo said. dahyun didn’t give the vibe of someone who needed to be coddled. but if dahyun would ask, momo would do it in a heartbeat. if wonpil would ask again, maybe momo would try. subtly. however that would work.
“oh god, it’s too early for you two to sound alike.” wonpil looked over momo’s shoulder to give dahyun a grin. “hi, you’re back. stop glaring, i just told momo to take care of you.”
“give me the key.” dahyun huffed out, holding out her hand while the rest of her body balanced the bike in place.
wonpil laughed, and gave dahyun’s hand a tight squeeze instead. “i’ll see you later at home, loser. i’m gonna be late for my date if i stay here any longer. drive safe. bye, momo— i’ll message you horrifying stories of ten-year old kim dahyun soon.”
by the time momo finished suturing a kid’s forehead – nothing major, just four stitches from untied laces and rough gravel – she realized that sana and mina weren’t in the e.r. anymore.
they weren’t in surgery’s e.r., specifically. momo gave her number to the new clerks under them, with clear instructions to call a.s.a.p. if something would happen. her resident overheard the conversation, and told momo to just go. gave permission to find her dutymates on the condition that momo would drop by a vendo and get him a cup of hot coffee.
good enough. the clerks huddled in relief at the back of the resident finalizing the discharge instructions, and momo was already out of surgery’s e.r. before her patient started crying at the sight of somebody in a white coat approaching.
they weren’t in medicine’s e.r., weren’t at the triage, either. momo was starting to get hungry and mina promised her a tupperware of poke, just like how it was prepared in hawaii. the thought of a mina-prepared brunch should be worth the hundreds of steps she was already walking just to find them.
a very pregnant patient came in screaming, an her husband in turn was screaming as well. momo did a quick survey— there wasn’t any blood, and there wasn’t any fluid leaking either. must’ve been their first born.
the triage intern was quick to put the screaming patient on a wheelchair, and it wasn’t long before they overtook momo in a hurry to get to ob.
they were through ob’s sliding doors, and a moment later, sana and mina were out— forcibly too, by the small tumble they did.
they weren’t even holding charts, and their faces had matching unapologetic grins as they waved good bye to the people in ob.
momo crossed her arms and waited to get noticed. had a small speech on the two being gone without momo knowing.
“you.” sana said, accusation heavy in her voice. what now?
“i should be the one saying that, you idiots. the hell were you two doing in ob’s e.r.? c’mon, let’s go back.” momo said, falling in step with mina and sana, seamlessly inserting herself in between them, her arms looped in theirs. “but let’s drop by a vendo. boss wants coffee. his treat.”
sana and mina actually had business in ob’s e.r.— a cancer patient that was co-managed with surgery in her previous admission came in, and jihyo called them for an evaluation.
the evaluation was quick. mina was always a fast worker, and sana was the most skilled interviewer among them. they got held up by gossip.
“what happened to not getting involved in other people’s lives? new year, new me?”
“oh, i don’t care about other people.” mina said, but momo felt a slap on her hand. it stung. “the nurse said dahyun broke up with her boyfriend last night.”
momo pulled them to a stop.
“what the fuck?”
“yeah, i said that too.” sana said, glaring at momo. “somebody in cleaning services overheard dahyun talking about it to chaeyoung and tzuyu at the ward. then told the nurse in ob. then the ob nurse asked us. we were still trying to fish for more info but the emergency got wheeled in and jihyo kicked us out.”
“momoring,” mina said, pouting. it was too early to get on sana and mina’s bad side, and momo didn’t do anything wrong, so things didn’t make sense.
“no, no. no momoring and pouting. dahyun and wonpil were fine yesterday.” momo defended. they were!
sure, wonpil’s gay and dahyun’s his beard— but they’ve carried it for seven years and dahyun told momo that wonpil was crashing at her apartment for his entire stay in the city. dahyun was even excited about it, because she missed him. they were kind and kind and when put together it wouldn’t make sense for anything fight to happen.
“wonpil? yesterday? you met hyunnie’s boyfriend?” sana asked.
“i did. they were fine. wonpil’s kindness levels with dahyun’s so maybe the janitor misheard stuff.” momo said.
mina was looking at her, and then not at her. the pout mina had straightened to a straight line, and her eyes considerably darkened. what now?
“babe,” momo turned to where mina directed her glares at, to where the newcomer was. heenim.
sana snaked her arm around momo’s waist, and mina stepped in and blocked heenim from momo’s vision.
“do you wanna talk to him?” mina asked.
it had been a week.
“babe, it’s been twelve days.”
oh. twelve days. not a week. not that it mattered.
“no, i don’t.” momo replied. stepped to the side to let heenim see her, to be direct with another rejection. “no. i told you no the first time and i’m telling you no again. go be someone else’s problem.”
mina echoed what momo said. with inserts of ‘you fucker’ and ‘get it through your skull, shithead’, an additional warning if heenim would bother momo again, and probably more but sana pulled momo out of earshot already.
“i’m okay.” it was a long day. momo wasn’t sure what happened after they got back to their e.r. with cups of coffee.
“you’re okay.” jihyo echoed, but she placed her hand at momo’s back and it was warm and it was comfort. she guided momo to where a patient with tubes sticking out of the abdomen was. “her wound’s discharge was serous earlier when doc made rounds but a clerk noted purulent stains on the dressing when she took the qshift vitals.”
momo nodded. it didn’t take long for her to finish the ward call, and by the time jihyo came back to her with a snack bar in hand, momo was already finished with her report to her senior.
“i’ll update you when i get a reply from jin.” momo opened her mouth, signaling for jihyo to feed her. the snack bar was oatmeal-flavored. not the best, but it was midnight and it had to do. “thanks, ji.”
“the bar is for you coming a.s.a.p.,” jihyo started, “this is because heenim’s an ass.” she wrapped her arms around momo, and momo gave out a big sigh. her hands met at the small of jihyo’s back, and jihyo wasn’t saying anything more so momo was thankful for that, too.
a pair of footsteps bounced off the silent hallway. momo looked up to see jeongyeon and dahyun make their way to ob’s ward. slowly, because their attention was more on dahyun’s phone that it was on reaching their destination.
jihyo broke their hug and gave momo a big flick to the forehead. “that’s for the headache, hirai.” what now?
momo shoved jihyo to the side. playfully. jihyo returned it with equal force, semi-playfully.
“children, please settle your fights at a time when patients aren’t sleeping.” jeongyeon said, placing a hand firmly on each of their chests. “speaking of sleeping, why don’t we all do that.”
jeongyeon waved a goodbye to dahyun with a smile. shooed momo out of ob’s ward with a shove of her own, and pushed jihyo back into their station.
“hi,” momo said, smiling softly at a casually dressed dahyun. “what are you doing here at this hour?”
“wonpil’s at a bar one block down and i’m picking him up in thirty. just swung by to talk to jeong.” dahyun said.
“with your bike? would it be safe?” momo asked. she really didn’t want to scrub in an emergency o.r. tonight.
“no, silly. with his car.” dahyun held up an unfamiliar set of keys, and the fond smile she had on reminded momo of the gossip earlier. irritation crept up her spine. people really had to stop snooping. momo’s face turned sour and dahyun was quick to catch it. “we broke up. i knew the janitor was listening.”
well, according to dahyun, they didn’t break up because they weren’t in a real relationship. but only momo knew that so— they broke up, for simplicity’s sake.
“why?” momo asked, curious. but mostly it was because they were already at the hospital’s basement parking and dahyun was leaning against a sedan that was already unlocked a minute earlier.
dahyun was gonna ignore the question. momo was sure. she already had another question ready just to extend their conversation.
“he wants me to get a girlfriend already.”
oh?
imaginary hands made way to the sides of momo’s ribs. there was a funny squeeze. the small laugh dahyun gave made momo uncomfortable and the smaller smile after was bordering on painful.
“oh.”momo didn’t know what to say. it kinda made sense, maybe. “someone caught your eye?”
wonpil’s call disrupted the conversation, and dahyun was reversing the car out of park when momo realized dayhun never answered the question.
the day momo shifted departments was the day their school-mandated review season began.
pink scrubs now— pediatrics. the scrubs were cute, and the babies in the nursery were cuter. it was a breath of fresh air from the endless sight of wounds and tubes and gauze and plasters that momo linked surgery with.
it was also the day one of going back to coffee shops just to study.
“hey, you free later?” an intern in blue scrubs stepped in pedia’s ward, and it was disorienting. the bright smile flashed was even more disorienting. “wanna go with me to the dog café?”
dog cafés were absolutely not a place to start reviewing the parts of a cell and what proteins stick out and what proteins stick in, but momo said yes anyway.
dahyun was out of the ward as soon as momo confirmed that they’d meet up at the hospital’s entrance by five ‘o’clock.
“minari,” momo could hear sana call out, and momo made her way back to where sana was to listen. mina still had a patient in her arms, a very low birthweight baby on kangaroo care, but she made her way to sana as well. “let’s do a pop quiz.”
sana had her reviewer spread open, and momo had time to kill before she needed to do rounds. she rested her head on sana’s shoulder while waiting for sana to find a case for their impromptu quiz session.
“a 25-year-old female,” weird. pedia cases should be reviewed now but, “with a history of a shitty ex,” mina was smiling, urging sana to continue. “claims to be straight.” how could this be relevant to a clinical case?
“but she has this friend — single friend — that she spends time with constantly. rumor has it that she was the reason for her friend’s recent break-up. and she just said yes to a date even though she has a study session scheduled with her other friends.”
mina was laughing, and the baby in her arms was kinda laughing too. momo was simply confused.
“i don’t get it. what’s the problem?” momo asked, bumping her head to the underside of sana’s jaw.
“the problem, 25/female hirai momo, is that you’re blind.”
“you got a car?” momo asked, when dahyun rolled down the windows of the car she was in to signal for momo to get inside.
“i borrowed a car. it’s pili’s.” dahyun said.
momo didn’t need to say yes to dahyun’s offer.
but if she did, then all she needed to do was sign the papers. the manager already got the go-signal from the shelter the café was affiliated with, and jeongyeon said yes the night dahyun popped in the hospital in casual clothes at midnight, sticking out like a sore thumb.
no pressure from anyone at all, but if momo wanted to, they could get him today. they had a car, after all.
momo was out of the car after she gave dahyun a peck on the cheek as an instinctual thank-you. was back in the car with white-furred boo look-alike under half an hour. the tail’s wagging was wild, and momo loved him to bits already.
“what do you wanna call him?” dahyun asked, all smiles.
momo’s phone rang. heenim still tried to reach out, but momo was steady with her no. she was free from him, and she was going to stay that way— free.
“dobby.” momo said, rejecting the call. “his name’s gonna be dobby.”
“is that a— oh my god you’re a dork.” dahyun said, laughing at momo’s naming skills.
“you got this dork a dog, so i’m not taking that as an insult.” momo said. dobby barked, and it sounded like he agreed and he wagged his tail even harder and momo was beyond cloud nine.
too much happiness made her a little brave, made her give dahyun a big hug with the puppy in between them. momo realized mid-hug that this was their first – excluding back hugs on motorcycle rides, but those were out of necessity for safety – but it didn’t feel like a first because it felt like coming home and then dahyun was hugging her tighter,
“i’m not sure if you’re still sad, but i hope … dobby will help in ways i can’t.”
there was a fire starting in momo’s chest, and it was the perfect flame to make her feel warm and safe and all things dahyun made her feel.
two dogs were harder to take care of, but not impossible. momo wasn’t as tired as she was in surgery, and even after clocking six hours in the coffee shop post-duty, she’d still have the energy to play around when she came home.
jeongyeon liked the addition to their apartment too. sometimes hogged boo and dobby to herself, and today she asked momo if she could bring them to her parents’ home for a pet party.
so, with no dogs in the apartment, momo was bent on finishing her backlogs tonight. mina was too busy playing pokémon unite beside her, and sana was out of the coffee shop on a sanity break.
her notes on biochemistry were full of abbreviations, and momo had no more data to look it up. mina had her tongue out in concentration, and she was repeatedly muttering ‘zapdos, zapdos!’ under her breath.
so, momo shot a text to dahyun instead. the surgery intern was off tonight, but she came from an extensively long surgery and had planned to sleep only to wake up for dinner in between. a dinner plan where momo was invited, but momo said no because she was sure if she’d stick with dahyun, dahyun wouldn’t sleep just to be polite.
her notes were on the stop codons of protein synthesis, but everything written were in code and momo had no memory on what the codes were anymore. mnemonics? abbreviations?
dahyun replied instantly. “u are gone, u are away, u go away”
was dahyun mad? momo just wanted dahyun to rest. she called dahyun immediately, scared that she hurt dahyun’s feelings. “hey, uh, hi. are you mad? i told you i was gonna study tonight. do you want me to come over? have you eaten?”
there was silence from dahyun’s end. and then a yawn. and then,
“no?” dahyun said, confused. “momo, i just answered. just woke up, too.”
momo spent a few minutes talking to dahyun, initially on biochemistry and then it went to momo promising to cook for dahyun on a free night. small talk in between big smiles, and momo only hung up when mina tried to steal her unfinished latte.
(it was thirty minutes, mina teased. she was sure, because she finished three rounds of battle in her game and momo had nothing to say against that.)
the free night wasn’t so much as a free night to dahyun than it was to momo. jeongyeon was prepping for her first mortality and morbidity conference in medicine, and dahyun offered to help while momo cooked for the three of them.
dahyun was, yet again, from duty and with the rainy season starting, sleepless nights brought by car crashes were alarmingly constant. not a wink of sleep to surgery interns.
“did you bring wonpil’s car?” momo asked, once she finished cleaning the dishes. dahyun was on the floor with two dogs in a brawl on top of her. “it’s raining hard.”
momo drew the curtain open, showing heavy downpour. the pout dahyun had on was hard to miss. was also cute but momo kept squishing fluttery feelings associated with dahyun with the same stubbornness she had in rejecting any form of communication heenim attempted.
“nope. motorcycle.”
“you’re staying the night. just use my blue scrubs.” momo said, and gossip was bound to happen again but there were things that simply weren’t controllable.
dahyun sighed. an inevitable apology for the hassle was gonna come out but her phone pinged and it got her attention instead. momo left her to get a pillow and a spare blanket.
“can i borrow your laptop?” dahyun asked, still sprawled on the floor. boo and dobby had their heads being scratched by dahyun’s hands, and they were a few more scratches from sleep. dahyun looked like she wasn’t that far away from passing out too. “our case presentation got moved and our adviser asked us to submit the draft tomorrow morning.”
“do you want me to make you coffee?” momo asked, and dahyun had surgery after surgery earlier that surely she needed some caffeine boost to keep awake.
“i can make it on my own, just … ten minutes. let me put your dogs to sleep first.”
momo made the coffee anyway, and added an extra packet of creamer to dahyun’s cup. she stayed by dahyun’s side til midnight, and by then, dahyun was halfway through her third cup, but with no end in sight to her case presentation.
“go to sleep, momo. you clock in at eight.”
“you clock in at eight too,” momo said, although she was capping her highlighters already. “will you sleep?”
“if i finish, then yeah. maybe at 3? 4, tops.” dahyun said, fighting off a yawn.
dahyun finished a quarter past four. closed momo’s laptop with an olympic-winning smile despite the bags under her eyes.
“why are you up?” dahyun asked.
“want breakfast?” momo asked instead of answering, and a grumble from dahyun’s stomach answered for her. “breakfast it is.”
“dahyun,”
“yes?” it was mumbled, and dahyun’s head swayed in a battle against sleep.
“you should sleep.” momo said.
“i will. after breakfast.” dahyun motioned to the food, and all momo could do was sigh. “you can wake me up.”
as if dahyun needed to tell her. “of course. go to sleep, please.”
“dahyun,”
“yes.” it was an answer already— dahyun was going to agree to anything momo asked. she was too out of it, and all her energy was invested on getting the rice in her mouth.
“what have you done for yourself lately?” it was a question probably even wonpil didn’t know the answer to. dahyun was too selfless. seeing her this exhausted before sunrise worried momo.
“for me?” dahyun clarified. she blinked slowly— probably thinking, probably trying to stay awake.
“yes, you.” momo said. pouted, too. dahyun looked confused, as if the concept of doing something for herself was foreign.
“what about you?”
the pout momo had dipped further. of course dahyun would answer a personal question with a question of her own. momo wasn’t even surprised. she indulged in dahyun’s deflection, humoring the sleepyhead. showed her a picture of matching clothes she bought for boo and dobby.
“do they even need those?” dahyun asked, a little more awake this time. “why did you buy those?”
momo gave a shrug. “for myself, mostly. it made me happy, so i bought it.”
dahyun stared for a moment, and nodded in the next. “okay. good job.” offered momo a smile before going back to the rice in front of her.
silence was creeping in, and it was going to be comfortable but momo felt uncharacteristically nosy today.
“what about you?” momo pressed on, “what do you do for yourself?”
dahyun’s spoon stopped midway, and the look painted on her face was unreadable.
“what’s a treat for you, dahyun?” momo was going to figure this out. she was going to treat the sleepyhead across her because dahyun deserved good things. she’d just apologize for digging into dahyun’s business later, after she’d get the answer.
dahyun placed back the spoon to the bowl. took her time in adjusting her glasses. gave a sigh that could have been interpreted as annoyance, could have been heard as a form of surrender.
“having a meal with you like this.”
momo straightened her back, and there were currents of electricity that coursed through her entire body with no particular direction. her skin was tingling, and dahyun took her silence as a prompt to say more.
“eating with you. drinking coffee together.” dahyun nodded, more to herself than to momo. fiddled with her spoon right after, but momo felt dahyun’s eyes on her with an intensity equal to the lightning that ran in messy zigzags from head to toe. “that’s a treat i give myself.”
“momo?” dahyun asked, breaking the silence wrapped around them. it made momo look up from her plate, and sleep-deprived dahyun under the warm kitchen light was as breathtaking as biker dahyun under the night sky.
“momo,” dahyun repeated. the moment momo met her eyes, she continued to talk: “i like you, momo.”
dahyun liked her. liked. romantically – but also platonically but that wasn’t the focus – liked her.
dahyun must’ve been more tired that she let on, because after confessing, she kept true to her promise and slept face-first on the couch.
dahyun liked her. momo placed back the uneaten side dishes in the fridge.
dahyun liked her. momo tidied the table. washed the dishes.
dahyun confessed to her sometime between 4 and 5 in the morning, after being awake for at least 30 hours straight. momo was now fully dressed with her bag ready beside her, her butt glued to the floor, and her back pressed against the front of the couch.
before the alarm could ring, momo felt a hand on her head.
“you don’t ...” dahyun started, trying to find the right words. “you don’t have to like me back. you’re going through a lot right now and i’m not going to pressure you to anything at all. i just think ... actually i wasn’t thinking when i said it but it’s out, and you have later. you can figure it out on a later day— if you’d reject me or something like that.”
there was this big breath of air momo exhaled, carbon dioxide and worries out of her system.
“thank you.” momo said, and maybe if she were more eloquent she could have given a lyrically sound speech back in return, but dahyun patted her head again and asked for five more minutes of sleep so the thank-you, perhaps, was good enough. for now.
dahyun didn’t bring it up again, and momo didn’t talk about it either. sometimes momo would forget about it, but sometimes it would tickle her stupid.
sometimes like now, in a coffee shop with a piece of chocolate cake between them.
“momo?” there was a smudge of chocolate icing at the corner of dahyun’s lips, and momo wiped it with tissue. it was a little distracting. dahyun smiled— even more distracting. “do you know what’s men2b?”
“you and me.” momo said. slipped. a freudian slip.
“medullary thyroid carcinoma, pheochromocytoma, and marfanoid.” dahyun spoke the same time momo did, which was such a save for momo. “wait, what?”
“what, what? i didn’t say anything.” momo said, hoping that dahyun would believe her. on to studying anatomy. she caught mina staring at their table, and the shit-eating grin mina had on her face was the sign that yes, momo should probably get back to studying.
“bones of the wrist?” dahyun asked. “that’s easy. scaphoid, lunate, triquetrium, pisiform, hamate, capitate, trapezoid, trapezium. first four lateral to medial then the next would go back, medial to lateral.”
momo stared. eight bones were seven bones too many to fit in her head in one go, and dahyun enumerating them wasn’t helping at all.
“i have a mnenonic.” dahyun offered. she held out her palm, and momo tentatively gave her hand. whatever helps— nayeon bitching about anatomy constantly rubbed off her too. “so long to pinky, here comes the thumb.”
dahyun traced the bones on the back of momo’s hand and momo knew they were at a coffee shop reviewing with her friends nearby but all her senses were suddenly limited to dahyun alone.
the traces were feather-light, and momo had to reinforce the feeling with seeing dahyun’s fingertip swirling on top of her hand. dahyun was repeating the mnemonic, so... long... to... and with every bone passed, momo felt herself lean closer to dahyun because dahyun’s voice was devolving into a whisper.
by pinky – pisiform, anatomically – dahyun slotted the fingers of her supporting hand in the spaces of momo’s own. the tracing went slower, the whispers became steadier.
“hamate, capitate, trapezoid, trapezium.” repeated: here comes the thumb.
it was kinda dumb yet kinda smart, as all mnemonics were. but this was also charged with static from the tension by the coils of momo’s stomach. it felt like a confession all over again, but that would be far-off because dahyun was the most private person momo knew and they were in a coffee shop with their friends scattered across different tables and—
dahyun brought momo’s hand close, gave it a kiss – not a peck, but a kiss that had her lips pressed with enough weight against momo’s skin that was a mile beyond the line of what friends would do – and then looked up to momo to show the begginings of a smile.
“i hope it’ll help.” dahyun said. she went back to her own book but the hand intertwined in momo’s was left as is.
momo tugged on it, and dahyun gave a small hum to let momo know she was listening. momo felt the eyes of her friends on them, picked out the laughter that was distinctly nayeon and jihyo’s, and heard mina and sana telling them to be quiet, respectively.
her friends were horrible, and momo found herself blushing with the realization that they had an audience but the momentum was there and if momo wouldn’t say it now then it wouldn’t get out of her head ever:
“i like you too, dahyun.” momo said, and dahyun shot her a confused look. momo tried again. “i said, i like you.”
“momo, what is it? the voice box a.k.a. larynx is located at cervical level 3 to 6 and there are a lot of muscles attached with two main nerve supplies and yours is probably working so could you speak louder?”
dahyun had never been so annoying.
also: momo had never wanted to kiss somebody this strongly.
“i said, I LIKE YOU TOO!” her voice box was working, dahyun turned beet red, and there were laughs ringing in her ears— mina and sana’s being the loudest.
oh my god.
they were gonna be kicked out from the coffee shop and it would be momo’s fault.
momo covered her face with her hands as a poor attempt to hide in embarrassment. not a good move, because dahyun’s hand was dragged along. made it so easy for dahyun to make momo face her.
a small nudge by the back of dahyun’s hand, and momo was eye to eye with the source of her embarrassment – and tryptophan which was the precursor for serotonin and all the other good things chocolate gave – again, with one eye peeking out from the makeshift windows of her fingers.
“really?” dahyun asked. she went redder when momo nodded, and maybe dahyun had tunnel vision too because she suddenly leaned in closer and on instinct momo lowered her hands to show her face. they were going to kiss— momo was sure.
she was gonna kiss feminist anarchist confirmed lesbian motorcycle riding surgery intern kim dahyun.
momo had flashing lights at the corners of her eyes. then at the center. the flash hurt.
the flashes were actually real and dahyun realized it the same time momo did so the millimeter distance their lips had became two, three, four— dahyun was backing away, but momo wanted this so the distanced lessened back to three, two, and then there were more flashes and the level of red dahyun had coloring her cheeks became borderline alarming, so.
“nayeon!!!” momo whined, and momo was right. nayeon was shaking in laughter, the film camera in her hands unsteady because nayeon always laughed with her entire body.
now, momo loved nayeon. she really did. nayeon was the partner the gods above (the school) assigned her to be with for the entire year last year, and they could not have been more of a perfect fit. but, jesus fucking christ, could nayeon not? momo was about to kiss dahyun! for the first time!
“when these come out later you’re gonna thank me!!” nayeon shouted, and mina was too entertained at the whole thing that she didn’t bother toning down the volume of the human-sized speaker that was im nayeon.
dahyun had her forehead against the side of momo’s shoulder, her face pressed against momo’s arm. she was warm. momo couldn’t wait to get used to this.
“we have later.” dahyun mumbled, all shy and adorable and very correct— they had later. tomorrow. the next month. hopefully years.
and years and years.