Chapter Text
"Tubbo?"
It's been 3 months, 5 days, and 7 hours since Tommy died.
"Micheal wanted to show you his new painting?"
Not like Tubbo had been counting. It was just important to his investigation.
"He also was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie or something."
He wasn't going to let anything slip his mind. He wasn't going to forget.
"Or if you wanted to leave your office at all."
Nor forgive.
"Micheal won't eat much when you aren't around."
He is tired. It's been months of work and nothing to show for it.
"You aren't eating much as well ."
But he can't give up. Not when he is so close.
"Why don't you come out, it hasn't been snowing as hard recently?"
Not when he is so angry.
"Please?"
Not when Tommy deserved better.
"Tubbo?"
———
"Tubbo."
Tubbo leaned back onto his chair, tapping his pen against the wood of his desk vigorously. 3 months, 5 days, 7 hours, and 30 minutes since Tommy died and still not a single lead on who caused the prison to go into lockdown.
It's been months and months of investigations after investigations. During daylight he stays in his office, writing and thinking and pinning and searching for anything he could grasp. During evenings he would stake outside the prison, listening and waiting and begging for something to change, for something to be a clue.
It's been..... hard to say the least.
There were days where he couldn't eat, there were days where he couldn't sleep. He tried moving his bed into his office, an attempt to remind himself to rest. It didn't work. It never did.
So he kept working. Months and months of preparation, not once asking, for what? The wars have ended, there were no armies to make, no land to conquer nor reconquer, no independence to fight for.
But he was still preparing. Still waiting for something to change, because it always did.
Because Tommy always came back.
Tubbo's horns grew out more. They curl into a spiral. Dangerously uncomfortable. He heard that goat horns can curl so much that they dig into their eyes and through their skulls. It scared him some days, doesn't most of the time.
When he looks at old photographs he doesn't recognize anyone's faces anymore. Not even his own.
All of his most treasured photos were now treated like memorials. Wilbur was gone, Schlatt's gone, Fundy is off doing god knows what and he didn’t even recognize those small naive children with matching bandanas that stayed together throughout it all.
Tubbo hated being described as a yes-man, it made his heart and head burn with a sensation he could not quite put his burnt fingers on. Now he thought it's because he knows that it's true. Because now that all of his leaders were gone, Tubbo was left like an old wind-up doll on a shelf, unable to work without someone to guide him.
Denial was nice..... for a while. Tommy always comes back. He told himself. Tommy always comes back for me. When he first heard the news, it wouldn't have been a surprise if he came back in two days like nothing ever happened. That was a very Tommy thing to do.
But when he saw his broken and bruised body lying incredibly still in Sam's arms, it would be an understatement if that denial barrier became incredibly unstable.
He had known Tommy all of his life, he watched him fight wars and fight loved ones because of them. Watched him take arrows to the heart for what he believed in, watched him fight in a stone death pit for Tubbo's sake. So when Tommy was carefully laid down onto his bed covered head to toe with flowers that he adored, when Tommy stayed so still and so calm even if it was Tommy's nature to be chaotic even when he's not trying to be, Tubbo had never been more scared in his life.
And he didn't know anything else after that.
Tommy was his anchor, was his wings and his rock. He helped Tubbo ground himself yet gave him the courage to fly for freedom.
But what's a ship without its anchor? Otherwise, it just keeps moving.
Tubbo will do anything to stop moving, he will do anything for the horns to stop growing.
He will do anything. Anything, XD, Anything.
There was a knock on the door and anxious shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door.
"Tubbo can I please come in?" Ranboo's voice called from behind the dark oak entrance. He had been there for a little over 5 minutes now, knocking carefully and speaking quietly as to not wake the beast on the other side. Tubbo hatred the gentleness of it all, Tubbo wanted to see someone burst that door down if they wanted to check on him.
With lazy and blurry eyes, he glimpsed at the mess of paperwork that surrounded him, all scattered around without rhyme or reason. It was frustratingly messy, it made him feel like his brain was stuffed with cotton wool. Too much stuff, he wants a break but he knows he can't have one.
Ranboo knocked again without saying anything. Tubbo knew he wasn't going to back down this time. He picked himself up and trudged towards the door, trying to pass through the paper and junk that were in his way.
He opened the door, and Ranboo looked as if he was about to try to knock one last time. He's too big for the frame, his forehead was about to hit the top if he wasn't careful, and that was even with him slouching.
He looked..... sad. He had a lot more scars, Tubbo takes notes of the new ones every time he sees him. There are dark bags under his eyes as well, he knew Ranboo wasn't getting a regular amount of sleep also, now that he was a stay-at-home dad looking after Micheal 24/7. Tubbo wasn’t sure if it was because Ranboo felt like he needed to, or because he wanted a distraction. He's past the point of caring.
Ranboo physically cringed as he took note of Tubbo's appearance, stumbling back as he did so. "Jesus tubs you look-"
"Awful?" Tubbo voice croaked. It was much rougher than it use to be.
Ranboo's eyes faulted, sadness all over his features once again."I was gonna say exhausted."
Tubbo let out an obviously fake laugh, "Exhausted would be an overstatement."
Exhausted would imply that he was ready to throw in the towel, to give up, that he had used all his strength and had hit a dead end. Exhausted meant that he had to stop. He huffed an exasperated breath.
"I'm tired." Tubbo stated. But he could still keep going.
Ranboo seemed like he didn't quite know how to respond to that, and remained hovering on the other side of the frame as light poured in, watching Tubbo's every move like a sick puppy. He didn't have time for this, he still needed to work.
He walked back to his desk, not paying attention to how Ranboo finally let himself into the dark and dingy office.
"Phil came over today. He looked like he was doing much better, he's gained more color in his skin." Ranboo said carefully, trying to get Tubbo to engage in any normal conversation. Tubbo didn't reply, why would he? So what if his best friend's father had stopped mourning his son? lucky fucking duck, great to know Tubbo was the only one who apparently still cares.
"Said he wanted to check in on us and Micheal." Ranboo started, before rubbing his neck with his awkwardly long claws whilst staring at the papers that filled the ground. "But really I think he wanted to check on you."
Tubbo stopped filing his paperwork. Check on him? No, he's not allowed to get distracted, he can worry about Phil later. So what if he wanted to visit, he has all the time in the world, Phil should really get his priorities straight.
"Everyone is worried for you Tubbo. People haven't seen you outside the cabin for months." Ranboo pleaded, awkwardly stepping closer. Tubbo shuffled further away.
"3 months to be exact." He mumbled under his breath.
"It's not healthy!"
"Nether is death."
"Ok look.....I-I'm putting my foot down." Ranboo couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't watch Tubbo do this anymore.
Ranboo might have severe memory problems, but they were selective and cruel. He remembered the first time he had given a flower to anyone. He remembered his first conflict, he remembered the trial, he remembered watching his first friend die a little bit more every day.
He remembered how he felt when he was told. He remembered that cold and consuming pit in his stomach. He remembered aimlessly placing flowers at his death bed, avoiding eye contact with the heap of flesh laying on it. He remembered the sizzling of his skin every night, how it begged and begged for him to stop crying ..... yet he never did.
It wasn't as if Ranboo wasn't grieving too. Tommy was his first true friend, Tommy was part of his family even if the blond playfully rejected it. Tommy was the reason he was here today and he would be lying if he said he wasn't still weeping at the sight at any wild alliums.
But ranboo had to be strong, he knew he had to be the rock because he knew Tubbo was going to suffer more than anyone else.
Guess he was right.
And now he's scared he's going to lose the only other person he had left.
Ranboo took a sorrowful breath that felt like he had molten lead slither down his throat. "I can't believe I have to be the one to say this but... b-but..."
He sighed.
"You have to move on."
Tubbo could feel his limbs freeze on sight. His heart was thumping so loud he could feel it at the bottom of his heels. He slowly made eye contact with Ranboo, who shrunk under the sight of disbelief spread across Tubbo's infuriated face.
"Ranboo..." Tubbo spluttered the words, his lips and tongue felt numb. Ranboo cracked at the sheer roughness of the goat hybrid’s voice, but he couldn't back down, he can't put himself through this.
"I know how much Tommy meant to you, trust me I will never ever forgive myself for what happened. He was my friend to-"
"Don't you dare-"
"-But there comes a point where life has to continue. We need to be able to live to give his life meaning."
"-I can't just-"
Ranboo finally screeched, feeling his jaw unhinged, it was Tubbo's turn to flinch at the sight. "You are killing yourself Tubbo! I can't stand to see you like this! Tommy wouldn't have wanted-" but Tubbo stepped forward and flung the scribbled sheets of paper onto the ground.
"Tommy would have wanted to smite that fucking green bastard where he rotted because that is EXACTLY what he would have done for us !!" Tubbo screamed back, feeling the vibrations in his lung shiver at the sudden use from out of nowhere. His eyes started to prickle with dreaded tears and his heart was about 5 seconds away from jumping out of his chest.
There was silence, and it was clear by Ranboo's mortified expression that he wasn't going to interrupt Tubbo yet again. The ram hybrid took a very staggered breath. "I-If..... if Tommy was here, and either one of us was gone, he would have gone to the ends of the earth to avenge us. He would have crawled his way to the afterlife and dragged our sorry asses back to life if it meant sacrificing his own."
Tubbo sobbed openly, trying to wipe away the tears was futile, he let them fall like corpses dropping to the ground, he cringed at that metaphor. "And yet we can't do that for him, so I'm gonna do the next best thing. Find him closure."
Crack
Normally Ranboo would have left it at that... call it a day and attend to his half-neglected son, waiting to try tomorrow. But he was too far gone in his emotions, one thing he knew about Endermen was once they were angry, it was hard for them to control themselves.
"Goddamn, it Tubbo !! I just want my husband back." He finally continued to whine and beg, grasping at the tips of his two-toned hair.
Crack
"You're being selfish." The ram hybrid venomously muttered, using his sleeve to cut of the waterfall while it was ahead.
Crack
"I'm being selfish?!" Ranboo could feel a disbelieving laugher splutter out of his jaw. "Look at what you are doing to yourself when there are people around who need you!"
Crack
"Tommy needed me!" Tubbo tried to plead. He knew Ranboo wasn't trying to be inconsiderate but he didn't understand the pain he felt, how his world shattered at his feet.
"Yea well Tommy is dead !!"
Snap
Neither of them knew what was shouted at that last part.
Neither of them cared.
All they knew... Was that the world around them started to crumble into a blinding and painful light.
The ground slowly disappearing with the papers vanishing from existence.
And still, all Tubbo could feel was rage.
The white engulfed them and all that was left was the sound of Ranboo's screams.
———
This is the in-between.
This place acts as your gateway for traveling through time.
It isn't a dimension you are familiar with,
but if you succeed in your tasks,
it will be able to take you home.
You must not stray from the path,
collect what you seek, this is not a trial nor is it a test,
I am simply giving you 24 hours to seek the piece you desire.
However, use your time wisely, as you have the ability to fix the broken if done right.
I'm sorry I cannot give you more, this is the last of my strength, but time waits for no one, no matter how much pushing.
This will be your last opportunity to learn what you have been given, don't waste it.
Goodluck.