Chapter Text
The killing game begun with sixteen students.
Only the mere six of them remained.
And of those six were the esteemed Byakuya Togami,
Makoto Naegi, the man whom he loved
And Kyoko Kirigiri. Makoto’s lover.
Well today, Byakuya was having none of it. After the day had reached it’s end, Byakuya wouldn’t have to think about this catastrophe ever again.
So why could he not will his legs to move?
He stood outside, the sun rising slowly, his time running out. Tote bag in hand and ready to face the horizon.
Except for that he wasn’t. Instead, he was stuck, searching for fragments of what would soon become a memory. He stood trying to remember every frame, as if he didn’t want to forget.
By the entrance of where they had resided, where Yasuhiro had given him the box containing what made Togami’s life a living nightmare.
By the window where he would watch the sunrise through his room.
By hillside and under the trees where he had observed the stars with Naegi.
It shouldn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It was stupid to be even the slightest bit nostalgic for such a shitty part of life. None of this mattered anyways. He would forget about this whole experience soon enough. Nothing here was worth staying for in the grand scheme of things.
Besides,
Friends were for people who were too incompetent to achieve things on their own. It wasn’t that he actually liked any of these people. It wasn’t as if they actually wanted anything to do with him. He was just a stubborn stuck up arrogant asshole to them and would never be anything more. Why he had been trying to improve himself in the first place was beyond him. This whole thing was stupid. Nothing mattered. He should leave.
But the dawn kept his feet planted firm in the ground as he stared in awe at the vibrancy of colors that hid behind the fog and smoke.
“You know, you really don’t have to do this.”
As great as his reflexes were, he was man enough to admit he didn’t anticipate Kirigiri’s voice.
And normally Byakuya would be on his toes with a snotty remark to shoot back at the girl.
But all he could do was stare at the ground and sigh; a cowardly comparison to his usual demeaner.
A beat of silence fallowed before he turned to face the girl. She was already dressed for the day, wearing her usual attire- a part of Togami wondered if she ever even changes into pajamas in the first place.
She stared, studying his attitude.
Kirigiri clearly knew what Byakuya had planned… she must have known for a while now that he was preparing to leave. Maybe the details of the procedure were still a blur to her, hence last nights catastrophe, but she was smart enough to come to the conclusion that for some reason, Byakuya no longer wished to remain with his fellow schoolmates.
“Listen” she broke the silence at last. “I can read a lot about you, Togami. I notice you don’t put creamer in your coffee. I understand that you have a strict routine and brush your teeth every morning at exactly 6 am. I know you can be arrogant, but I also know you’re really trying.” She hesitated. “I’m trying too…”
“What are you getting at?”
“Togami, we both haven’t been particularly great people. I recognize a guilty person when I see one. I’ve been taught to read the body language and analyze the expressions. I’m not an idiot, and you aren’t either. We both know there’s more to why you’re leaving.”
“I…I- don’t seem to understand-“
“You’re scared. Scared of being open about the fact that you were wrong. Scared to admit the fact that you’re trying to be better. Scared to dispose of your old ways of thinking. Scared of feeling what you’ve been told for so long was wrong.”
His heart practically stopped. She didn’t know. She couldn’t possibly know.
“I know you love him”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Byakuya Togami had first laid eyes on Makoto Naegi during the killing game, it had been…. Well… quite honestly uneventful. The boy was cute, that much he would admit. Soft brown eyes and a cute face. His meek demeaner and horrendously coordinated clothing was almost endearing.
And then he would get to know Makoto Naegi. Not the Makoto Naegi that was accepted into Hopes Peak Academy as the Ultimate Lucky Student, but the Makoto Naegi that would find himself indulged so much in what he was passionate about, and that would care so deeply about things that Togami could care less to spare a second glance at. Makoto Naegi who was preoccupied by silly things that didn’t matter that a normal off-the-street civilian would think less about. He was the kind of pacifist that would grow anxious at the thought of causing any harm to others wellbeing. He was the kind of achiever that felt that his accomplishments would never be enough for the people around him. He was a kind of art that quite honestly many wouldn’t care to spare a thought to.
But the more Byakuya Togami had grown accompanied to this Makoto Naegi, the more he grew keen to his presence. The more time he spent with the boy, the less annoyed he would grow with his fidgets and flaws.
The day he knew he enjoyed Makoto’s prescence… well it wasn’t till of recently really. He had spent so long thinking his feelings of underlying romantic attraction was some sort of anger. He tried to hate Makoto so badly. After all, hating the boy would be far easier than whatever the hell he was feeling right now.
And the day he actually came to terms with his feelings about was less than 24 hours ago.
So did it really surprise him that Kyoko found out?
Hell, she probably knew about his feelings before he did.
But all this did was confirm one thing for the esteemed Byakuya Togami:
That he was completely and utterly screwed. That the world had played his heartstrings just to taunt him with thoughts of what might have been if he were different.
So what could he do now but laugh?
“Togami-“
“Don’t”
“Look-”
“I don’t need your pity I-“
- God he hasn’t felt this bad in a long time -
“That’s not what I-“
“Well don’t.”
- How could she? She wouldn’t know. She would never know. -
“But-“
“He doesn’t-”
- He didn’t even want to toy with the thought. -
“He wouldn’t want-”
“You don’t know what he would want”
“Well Its likely certain he wouldn’t want you to wallow around like a dope before abandoning your only friends”
The words hit like a sucker punch to the face.
“Kirigiri, is that really what you thought this was?”
“I-“
“Listen here and listen closely.” He stepped forward “You are NOT my friend.” He stepped closer “You will never be my friend.” He pointed a finger at her now as his voice involuntarily begun to raise. “I have far better things to concern myself with then the likes of someone like you.”
“Byakuya please-“
“Do you know how hard it is to put up with you? You’re just insufferable. You act like such a know it all thinking you know everything when you really don’t. You don’t know anything about anyone, you just pretend to read everyone else because you’re just a scared little girl who doesn’t have her life together.”
“Togami! -“
“-And I look at you and think, God, sometimes I wish it were me. I wish it were me who could live for self-fulfillment and nothing else. I wish it were me who actually meant something to someone. I wish I was actually worth something that doesn’t have a price value-“
He really tried to stop the words from coming out of his mouth but God this was torture. He couldn’t take this right now. Not when he was so close to leaving this behind. He didn’t need this chapter of his life anymore. Why was he here?
“Byakuya, please, I know you’re upset but you do realize what you’re saying is hurtful.”
“Well that’s sure something I do seem to be good for isn’t it.” He remarked, enough emotion behind the word as he could muster.
“Byakuya-”
“Cry about it, Kirigiri”
She stood for a minute. Then, she lowered her head in retreat. She turned her leave but stopped in her tracks.
A broken and uncharacteristic sound that resembled the voice of the detective echoed “I really did think so. That we were friends you know.”
She went back to her room after that.
Remorse is a funny little thing. To make him think after all of this time that perhaps someone such as the girl could grow attached to someone so different from her.
Why did he do that?
Why did he want to hate her so much?
Why was he so keen on leaving what he had made here?
Why should he have to leave this behind?
How could one defeat a system so flawlessly designed to invoke despair into the surviving students of Hope’s Peak Academy?
It sure as hell wasn’t Byakuya who had done it.
And if it had been up to just Makoto, the six of them would have been dead a long time ago.
But maybe it was because the two of them had worked together….
Hell not just the two of them… all of the people he had grown so close to over his time at Hope’s Peak. Almost like maybe they were what people would assume friends would be. People you could trust to have your back. People you know you could face the world with as they stand by your side. Those who would be there to help you through thick and thin, even when you try your hardest to reject their assistance…
Friends….
……They had done it BECAUSE they were friends. Because they had each other. Because even when Togami knew he didn’t want to, there was always someone to rely on. Because friends would stick with you despite the flaws and the hurdles that come with being a human being. Because friends could be vulnerable without fear of being slapped or beat or stepped upon.
Even when he had spent his whole life trying to avoid it, it seemed destined for Togami to make acquaintances along the way; But this was more than that.
The six of them had grown a bond throughout their experience.
The reason they had conquered despair. The reason he was finding it so hard to leave was because he had finally found people who actually cared about him.
And “friends” seemed to roll of the tongue rather nicely.
God…. He was starting to sound like Naegi.
Naegi…..
The previous night, the night under the stars, every trial they had managed to hold together was because Naegi had been human.
Makoto Naegi was not an ultimate, but he was so authentically flawed, awkward, and everything in-between.
And he was who he was because he was vulnerable.
…
And if Makoto could be vulnerable, if only for a moment,
Then maybe he could to.
He didn’t know how he found himself in front of Makoto’s door, but there he was, 30 minutes behind his schedule of departure.
Togami was never one for romance. Sure, he’s read the classics, but it was never really his forte. The typical cliches and the obnoxious archetypes of reoccurring Mary Sues the stereotype of butterflies and the nerves that settle in the stomach.
Well, Byakuya wished he had read more of it now, because here he was, absolutely clueless and practically passing out due to potential lack of oxygen.
If this was how vulnerability felt, he absolutely despised of it.
He should just go. It wasn’t even worth it.
He knocked on the door before his brain could catch up with his body.
This is stupid. He should just leave, leave already.
The door slowly opened.
Say something, quick say something you idiot!
“Makoto… why do you wear dinosaur pajamas?
“….what?”
So this was the route he was going with. If he could slap himself right now, he would.
He took a shaky breath.
“And also… why.. why do eat that crap oatmeal Hiro makes? Seriously how can anybody enjoy that?”
“Togami, it’s six in the morning-“
“I’m not done. Do you have a favorite anime? You liked anime, right? What about a manga?”
“Okay, I’m lost. Seriously, what is happening.”
“My point is that there’s a lot about you I don’t know, Makoto. But the truth is, I want to know, and that is a terrifying thing to admit, Naegi.”
He hoped Makoto would catch on by now he really did but the boy remained looking clueless at the blonde.
Togami sighed and began to make an exit.
“Green.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I wear them cause their green. That’s my favorite color and the dinosaurs are green…. so…” he trailed off, slightly losing the confidence in his words before he spoke suddenly again.
“It makes Hiro happy to have something to feel accomplished of. The guy will never say it out loud, but he’s actually really insecure about his talents and abilities. It’s nice to let him feel proud of something. I don’t have a favorite anime, but I like adventure books. Now it’s my turn. What are you doing knocking at my doorway way too early in the morning?
“Don’t worry about that right now. I’m finding this conversation rather interesting.
“That’s not true, you don’t find anything of mine interesting-“
“Makoto, just take the compliment-“
“But it’s true. I’m serious Togami, I’m not like you guys. I don’t have a talent… a real talent that is. And I’m not really all that unique. Honestly, if you wanna talk to someone of importance you should really find-“
“Makoto. Get this through your head. You are who I am talking to. You are who I want to talk to.”
That seemed to wake him up a little. The shock wore off after a moment and turned to a smile.
God he was adorable.
Why had Togami spent so long not looking at his smile?
….
How long has he been staring for? Likely too long.
He quickly coughed and turned away.
“I suppose I should use this opportunity to… thank you… after the events of umm yesterday.”
“Huh? Oh… OH! Umm Yeah, I mean of course. What kind of a friend would I be if I…. you know?”
Friends. As much as he had found himself trying to adjust to that word it didn’t sit right when he thought about Makoto. Byakuya may be oblivious to emotions, but he knew friends weren’t supposed to want to kiss friends. Friends weren’t supposed to have dreams of holding their pals in their arms and cuddling with their buddies or holding hands with their homies….
Seriously, how could Byakuya have ever thought he was straight?
“Togami, are you… alright? I mean… after everything that happened. I was honestly really worried-“
“Please, don’t even-“
“But I’m gonna worry, you know? I care about you… a lot!”
“And…. Well… I mean…” Togami coughed to clear the air before mumbling something incoherent under his breath.
“What was that?”
“The same goes for me as well.” he spoke quietly at a volume only Makoto would hear.
“Come on Byakuya. That much was obvious.”
“Excuse me?”
“Of course you care about us. It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. You’re smart but sometimes you overcalculate what’s right in front of you Togami. “
“I overcalculate?”
“Yeah you always miss certain clues or context that might point you to a bigger picture-“
“I’M THE ONE MISSING CLUES?!”
Makoto frowned. “Well… yeah, but you’re getting so much better at-“
“Okay, okay, okay. Why don’t I tell you, Naegi. About just how obvious of a thing you can be unobservant to”
“What?-“
“You’re birthday is February 5th, making you only slightly older than me. Your sister’s name is Komaru Naegi. You live with your two parents and have always wanted a pet growing up, but your mom wouldn’t let you-she doesn’t like the idea of pets in the house. When you get nervous, you fidget with that atrocious bed of fluff you call ‘hair’. You always eat your food in a specific order, saving sugary foods for last-“
“How much time have you been spending with Kirigiri? Since when do you actually take notice of these-“
“I’m not done Makoto. You care so much about people it’s obnoxious. You always want what’s best for others, even when its not what they want for themselves. Do you know why, Makoto Naegi? Because you are an obnoxiously good person. Because you are so perfectly and infuriatingly you that it drives me up the walls. It drives me crazy Naegi. Do you know why?”
Makoto was silent, the wheels behind his head slowly turning as Byakuya stepped closer. Every ounce in his body was telling Byakuya that none of this was worth it; to just leave while he could. He was only about 45 minutes behind schedule, he could still make it by night if he hurried.
But he stood, once again with his feet planted looking at the boy he couldn’t help but spend so much time admiring, and absolutely despising of.
“I’ll tell you what’s obvious, Makoto. You are the most painfully oblivious person I have ever met.”
His heart was pounding. It was now or never. He would tell him, and he would leave. It was that easy.
“I….. I think different when I’m around you Makoto. I feel like I can do anything. And I see the way you care about people” He paused to catch his breath. He couldn’t make eye contact with Makoto. This was far to mortifying.
“I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m worth something… Makoto… what makes you think I’m even capable of being good. I don’t know how you can see that in someone like me.
So, speak again about what’s so painfully obvious Makoto. We get wet when it rains. A boiling pot is hot to the touch. Hiro’s oatmeal tastes like absolute garbage. You look at someone and think, how can they miss something that’s right in front of them?
Well here I am Makoto. Here I have always been, since the beginning.”
He didn’t know what he was feeling anymore. He felt angry. He felt mad Makoto had never noticed. He felt absolutely furious. He was so angry, he could feel tears threaten to spill- God he was pissed at Makoto. He was so angry right now all because…..
“I….. I….”
As far as he had fallen, he couldn’t bring his voice to finish the phrase he had been feeling all along.
Fuck this.
He needed to leave.
“I….. I’ll see you around, Makoto.”
With that, he practically ran down the hall, avoiding eye contact with Makoto along the way.
He had made it about halfway before he felt a hand grab his own.
“Do you remember the day we did the dishes together” Makoto asked suddenly. “I wanted to tell you something… I wanted to tell you… well…. The reason Kirigiri had made you help me out in the first place…. Everything was….”
Byakuya faced the boy this time. He was tired of hiding what should have been obvious all along.
“…You’re crying…”
“Well, you’re observant.”
“Makoto walked closer to the boy, as hesitantly as he could, as if giving him time to turn and dart any minute. Then… ever so slowly
….
Took a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to the blonde.
Byakuya obliged in his sympathy and took the tissue as Makoto spoke slowly.
“Since we’re talking… about what’s so obvious. I feel like I should tell you….” Makoto looked anywhere but Togami’s eyes.
“You… You’re name is Byakuya Togami. You… you were born on May 5th. You-“ He paused to catch his breath as Togami stared, bewildered. “You drink coffee every morning even though you always complain about how cheap and artificial the one we have here is. You… you have these eyes and I can’t decide what color they are. They’re kind of blue… a little grey…. But… I think their mostly…
….green.”
Finally he locked eyes with Togami.
His face was bright red…. Why was that?
“I really hope I’m not reading this the wrong way.”
Oh…. Oh.
He knew.
“I…. think you know the answer already, Naegi.”
So here he stood, vulnerable… and God… this felt horrible. He was ashamed, and guilty and everything in between. This was absolutely his worst idea yet.
“It seems I was right all along then, Togami. You really are oblivious.”
“What?-“
The next thing he registered was Makoto. More specifically, Makoto’s mouth on his own.
It was clumsy.
It was awkward.
It was Makoto.
It was everything he had ever dreamed of and more.
His heart rang in his ears.
And when they finally broke away.
“FUCK!”
“Holy crap Byakuya, did you just swear?”
“IS THAT REALLY THE MOST SURPRISING FACT ABOUT THIS SITUATION?!”
“WELL, I DON’T KNOW, I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET THIS FAR”
Byakuya stared at the boy, absolutely dumbfounded.
“You didn’t think…. BUT KIRIGIRI??”
“What about her?? Oh my God… did you think??”
“WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK?”
Makoto didn’t answer. Instead, he crashed back into his lips once more.
Oh my God, this was real, this was happening. Byakuya Togami was kissing the Makoto Naegi.
They broke apart once more. Completely out of breath, but just as dazed, Byakuya continued blundering the boy with questions.
“When did-“
“Fourth Trial. You?-
“Always.”
“Wow-“
“You’re telling me!”
This time Byakuya pulled Makoto to him. It wasn’t nearly as long, as Togami had to break away from smiling.
“So I’ll tell you what’s obvious Togami. It’s always been you. You’re arrogant smirk, your beautiful smile, you’re whole demeaner. When you walk in a room, how everyone stops to stare at you. The way you try against everything you’ve been taught to be better to all of us because you secretly care… you care so much. And… I don’t know what you see in me but God, I see the universe in you.”
…..
Maybe staying for just a tad bit longer wouldn’t kill him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I realize I haven’t always been the greatest person. I understand that I make mistakes… big ones at that. There’s so much about people I don’t understand… that I’ve never been taught to understand. And that doesn’t excuse things, obviously, but I want you to know. I’m learning. I’m learning about what’s right and wrong. I’m learning about how to fix my mistakes. I’m learning to love like the rest of you do for each other. “
“Well… what else would friends be for?” Kirigiri smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“About that box”
“huh?”
“…..Thanks for that”
“…. What was that?”
“I said you’re ignorant. I don’t want commoners like you rummaging through my things. Now, Good day, Yasuhiro.”
Perhaps this would take some time…
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Byakuya Togami had spent his whole life fleeing from what was unknown. He had spent so long afraid of what he felt had made him imperfect… like there was still some sort of danger that would come his way.
But right now, in the arms of his boyfriend, he felt safe.
And that’s all that mattered.
“You are my hope, Makoto Naegi.”