Chapter Text
You found yourself adrift again. This time in the darkness – comfortable darkness – the shadows guiding you back into the world as you regained consciousness. Voices gradually came into focus, floating in and out of the room.
“You ought to be patting yourself on the back, Doc, I’m just telling ya-“
“Not out of the woods quite yet, Graham.”
You scrunched your eyebrows at the familiar voices filling your ears. You finally pull your eyes open, and reality felt heavy – the call of the void still enticing you back into its arms, but you fought to stay conscious.
You spotted Graham in the doorway, pointing towards the other end of the room. He appeared to be chatting with the Doctor, who was sitting on a stool by your side, facing him. You were still laying down in the same place, but half-propped up with a number of pillows supporting your upper back. You consciously wiggled your toes, and felt a wave of relief wash over you at the realisation that you could move every part of your body again. The Doctor shifted a little in her seat and you noticed, finally, that your fingers were intertwined with hers.
“-All of them books, and you happened to find the right one at the right time, that’s not nothing.”
The Doctor sighed, scratching the back of her neck. That’s when Yaz squeezed her way into the doorframe with a question in her eyes, which fell right onto you.
“How is everything going in with… Oh, Doctor-“
Finally, the Doctor’s focus landed on you, and her eyes lit up to find you awake.
“Oh, good morning!” She said, the tone in her voice a light and airy contrast to the heaviness on your chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” you manage to speak, groggily. “No more… no more pain. Just… tired…”
“I don’t blame you in the slightest,” she said, fumbling with her pocket with her free hand and pulling out her sonic. She whirred it over you and drew the device back to her face, and she dropped her shoulders, letting out a relieved sigh. She looked towards the others, nodding towards them, and the three of them piled into the room. They crowded around the Doctor, smiling down eagerly on you. You felt a warmth replace the heaviness in your chest, albeit a little overwhelming to have so many pairs of eyes on you as you were waking up.
“Hey, it’s good to see you,” Yaz commented with a warm smile. “You seem well. Well, better than before.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” Ryan added. “It was scary, man. Never seen anyone go that white in the face.”
He shot a quick glance at the Doctor, but her eyes were still focused on you.
Graham leant forward, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
“Good to have you back, love,” he nodded. “Gave us a right scare back there. The Doc here has barely left your side throughout the whole ordeal.”
“Graham,” she said in an exasperated tone through a half-eyeroll.
“You can’t even deny it,” Ryan added, playfully elbowing her. “We’ve had to remind her to take breaks because her eyes look like they might roll out of her head.”
“Alright, you lot,” she turned in her seat to face them, giving them what she probably hoped was a stern look. “I think that’s enough.”
Yaz raised her eyebrows in an unconveyed thought. She glanced at you with another warm smile before leaving the room, elbowing Ryan, who gave you a half-wave before leaving the room.
Graham floated around the room for an additional few seconds, eyes roaming the bookshelves and eccentric oddities that graced the shelves, before noticing the others had left and sheepishly trailing out after them.
Throughout this, the Doctor remained quiet. Her focus seemed to be jumping all over the place, but eventually landed on your hand, which was still folded within hers. She raised her eyebrows and let out a long breath, looking over her shoulder to ensure everyone had left, and glanced up at you.
“Almost lost you there,” she said, softly shaking her head. “It all turned into a right mess real fast.”
You let out a long breath of your own. The fog in your mind had cleared, and that came at a price.
Clarity – you’d desperately wanted it for lord knows how long. Now that you had it, you wondered if perhaps it would’ve been better off to stay in the dark. The memories of the last few days came into focus, aching your conscience.
“What… what happened?”
“Do you remember how I mentioned how the virus you caught wasn’t present on the planet we visited?”
You nodded.
“Well, I was right,” she shifted again. “It’s not found on that planet. Never has, never will be. That’s because it was a different virus. Similar in symptoms, but also very, very different. I don’t know how I missed it…”
You nodded again in gentle encouragement to continue.
“Viral disease that affects the nerves… can cause all sorts of nasty symptoms. There’s only one slight difference between what I thought you had and what you actually had,” she continued. “One passes after a few days without treatment. The other needs treatment, or you can… you could’ve…”
Her head dips, and you gather the strength to lean forward, squeezing her hand.
“It’s okay,” you reassure. “You were right on time. And I’m okay now… right?”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re fine now. I had to administer a type of ointment that targets the nerves. Once that’s in your system, your body gets rid of it fairly quickly,” she paused. “You don’t need to worry anymore.”
She pulled her head up to meet your eyes, and the proximity of it all just made you aware of the stars in her eyes again – vivid, shining, and so very ancient. She carried so much hurt on her shoulders, and you hated that you somehow managed to add to that weight, even though it wasn’t your fault.
“Then neither do you. You don’t need to worry, either,” you commented, but she wasn’t meeting your eye.
“But it’s supposed to be administered quite early. It wasn’t…” she choked on her words. “It wasn’t supposed to hurt as much as it did. You were… I just…”
“I’m okay now,” you broke through bubble. “Look at me. I’m okay now, that’s all that matters.”
“It was a close call,” she breathed. “Very close.”
You tilted your head a little, letting her story hang in the air for a little while. The Doctor, your Doctor – you needed her today more than ever before.
You leaned forward further, draping your arms over her shoulders. Your lips grazed her scalp, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Her hands wrapped around you and landed gently around your middle, and you let yourself sigh against her.
“It’s all okay now,” you reassured. “I feel much better already.”
You felt her nodding against your chest, and you tightened your embrace a little to enunciate your point.
She drew back and pulled herself upright so that you were now completely level with each other. You noticed how the amber glow from the TARDIS’ lightning danced over her good side. And although she was sitting in front of you, concern and distress clouding every emotion, you still saw through all that and saw her.
Then, her hand landed on your cheek. Soft, warm, and enough to make your heart beat faster against your ribcage. She smiled, a beautiful, dazzling smile that drowned out any darkness that still lurked within your subconscious. Your hands moved up, grazing her throat before landing gently on the back of her neck. She made a swift movement forward, your eyes slid closed, and she pressed a featherlight kiss to your lips. Before she could pull away, you surged forward and returned the favour, capturing her lips in a soft, slow kiss that softened every rough edge in you.
You felt her hands rest on your shoulders, inching closer to your neck, gentle yet firm. A silent moment which somehow filled all the space between you two, conveying a thousand unspoken words. When you did pull away, your foreheads came to rest against each other, and she let out a shaky breath.
“All okay,” you reassured. “You see? It’s all okay.”
She nodded before suddenly pulling her hands off you, glancing at your neck with worry.
“Your skin, is it alright?” She asked. “You still feel warm. Which would be from… from the ointment.”
“Feels fine,” you nodded. “Just be gentle.”
She moved closer to you again, pressing another kiss to your lips, smiling against your mouth. A new type of warmth befell you, one much more soothing than the last. With the heat extinguished, you could feel a different type of fire sparking beneath your skin. One that was very welcome.
Her hand slid down to your upper back as she raised herself up from the stool. You scooted over, letting her sit on the sofa beside you. You rested against her shoulder, appreciating the moment for what it was. You chatted over the events of the past few days, letting her help you piece everything together. Everything felt okay.
The storm had passed, but the tide was turning. The way she looked at you carried a level of fondness you’re not sure you’d ever seen before in anyone who looked at you; but it served well to silence all your concerned thoughts and allow you to just be.
You shared a long moment, not saying anything, just revelling in the victory.
Real victory, this time. You were out of the woods. You were safe.
It was a pretty close call, after all.