Chapter Text
Is it just Xiao, or does the counselor's office feels strangely freezing today? If he recalls, there weren't plenty of opportunities before for him to be in the counselor’s presence, fortunately, so he cannot make a comparison. What he knows right now is that the temperature of this room should be illegal. It makes him feel like he's a cold cut, not a breathing human.
However, judging from his father's upright posture and calm expression, it looks like that wouldn't be far from the truth anytime soon.
Xiao sighs. So much for avoiding him.
Xiao glances at the door behind him. He's lucky he's nearest to the door. If things go south, he can walk out quickly.
“So…” seated on the red single couch across them, Miss Rosalyne, the counselor, starts. She crosses her leg, then meets his father's eyes head-on. “Do you know why you're here, Mr. Zhongli?” she asks, tone a bit too jovial for the situation at hand, bordering on… sarcasm? Xiao's not so sure. Not to mention that her tone sounds as if she isn't waiting for an actual answer.
Xiao lifts his head and squints at the counselor. Is this a new approach of counselors these days?
Xiao shifts his attention towards his father, anticipating his reaction.
“No. I would appreciate it if you would care to enlighten me. Although I assume it’s because of something Xiao did yesterday.”
Miss Rosalyne leans forward. “No, it isn't,” she says, and it makes Xiao frown, as he can't name another reason why he and his father is here, aside from the scene, Xiao winces visibly, he caused during Miss Ningguang's economics class yesterday.
“It is not?” his father asks, equally as confused as Xiao, as evident in his voice.
The corner of Miss Rosalyne's brightly painted lips curves up and it makes Xiao's frown dig deeper on his face. He… doesn’t like where this is going.
“Yes. Rather, it was because of something you did not, which is a shame, if I may say, considering you call yourself a parent.”
A pause. Then his father speaks, voice soft but sharp, cutting through the rapidly accumulating tension in the air. “Pardon?”
“I heard you are getting married, again. What are Xiao's thoughts about it?” the counselor asks his father instead. Even without glancing up, Xiao can see her expression as she says those words.
“Can I trouble you to be more direct with me, Miss Rosalyne?”
By the time his father says the last word, Xiao had already shut himself out. He doesn’t want to hear any of it; he wants to be anywhere, somewhere, any place but here.
Xiao feels as though his backbone is going to snap, from the way he's curling in on himself, making himself as small as possible. He shuts his eyes tightly he can feel tears creeping out bit by bit; his ears are focused on the hum of the air conditioning rather than the words beings exchanged.
Why does he have to be here?
Why can't they talk like fully functional adults, instead of making his life miserable, reducing him into a haywire of nerves?
When do they stop—
“Take a deep breath… after me… one, two, three, one, two…” a voice says beside him that's neither his father nor the counselor. Then, a cold touch descends on his hand. As his breathing calms down, Xiao finds his eyes trained on the figure beside him, who's staring back at him with a placating expression.
When his fist unfurls on its own, a hand entwines with him, and it feels warm.
Everything else forgotten, Xiao thinks back. How did he get here again?
-
Xiao didn’t get much sleep. If one considers how much of a night owl he is in the first place, because of particular… reasons, then that statement means something.
There's one thing that has been plaguing him in the last several hours. No, it isn't the unanswered math sheet abandoned inside his bag, nor the 12 missed calls from his father (the less time he thinks about it, the less scared he'll get), telling—or ordering, rather—him to go back home; for now.
It is much inconsequential than those.
Right now, he's pacing back and forth in his father’s hotel's lobby. He has been, for the past hour. A few meters across him, he spots Verr Goldet—the general manager in charge of the Wangshu Hotel branch in Liyue—walking towards him (probably getting tired of him scaring off tourists with his hostile aura) with a genial smile on her face, one that's almost permanently on from how long she's been in the hospitality industry.
“Are you looking for something?” she asks when she reaches Xiao.
Is Xiao looking for something? He doesn’t even know why he’s here—excluding the fact that he wants to avoid further confrontation with his father—pacing. He’s being so out of character that he’s scaring himself. Normally, if he doesn’t ignore people, he punches them. He doesn’t do second glances. What is it about that stranger that makes him deviate from his usual self?
Why, is he here, exactly?
In order to buy time to organize his thoughts, Xiao observes the manager's face. She’s smiling, but beneath that is the barely concealed interest (or meddlesomeness). She’s observing me, he thinks, and he has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t go back home after the fiasco at the restaurant the day prior, so she’s probably looking out for Xiao by his father’s orders, ready to report anything he’s up to.
This is stupid, he tells himself. Everything is stupid.
He answers Goldet’s inquiry anyway.
Under Goldet’s scrutiny, Xiao fiddles with the strap of his bag, “Someone…” he says, mind wandering off to the thought of golden eyes and equally golden hair; the culprit for his sleeplessness.
Goldet has proven herself to be quite amiable in Xiao’s list—although its genuineness is still in question. She’s one of the few who stills talks to him regularly despite his detached personality, in fact, but saying ‘I'm looking for someone who vanished right in front of my eyes last night, have you seen him around?’ sounds outright ridiculous, no matter how close they've gotten in the past few years.
He couldn’t actually ask that for one: he'll sound like he still isn’t over his eighth-grade syndrome, and second: he really isn’t certain about the whole vanishing act. It doesn’t sound right and he doesn’t want to believe it himself either.
“A long-haired blond…” is what he opts for, after a few moments of deliberation. He motions with his hand. “Around my height. He wears…” Xiao shakes his head. What if they changed what they were wearing overnight? That information wouldn't be helpful. “I saw him under the wisteria tree in the courtyard last night, at my usual spot. Have you seen him?”
Goldet crosses her arms, thinking, and Xiao lets hope bubble in him. Maybe he was just too drunk on anger and misery the night prior, that the impossible he claimed to see was not the case and the person he met just went to their room or—
“A long haired-boy you say,” Xiao nods not-too-enthusiastically, hoping, “Sorry, Xiao, the hotel's usually packed at this time of the year, I couldn’t keep track.”
Only for it to be crushed.
Of course. Why did he even ask?
Muttering a curt okay thanks, Xiao saunters away towards the long glass panels of the entrance, strides fast and long. He doesn’t look back when the manager tells him another sorry!, too irritated to give her another glance. She could have outright said no, does she really have to faux thinking? Was it fun, letting his hopes up?
Xiao takes a deep breath. Getting too worked is never the best way to start the day, but what can he do, when people are too frustrating? He needs to deal with it.
In the end, despite his utter annoyance, Xiao attends his classes, even though he just stared at nothing the entire time, mind replaying nothing but the events of the last night. The only time he got his well-deserved reprieve was during lunch, because he felt too hungry to even think.
He was out of it most of that time too, terribly so, that it did not get past his circle. When Hu Tao moved to sneak the piece of meat from his plate, planning to seize the moment, smiling mischievously, Xingqiu slapped her hand. Don't. Xiao will thwack you, he warned the girl.
It made Xiao snort. It wasn't true, but if it'll get her to leave him alone, he let it be.
The bell rang.
It was by his economics class that things escalated real quick.
“… the opportunity cost of an item—what you must give up in order to get it, is its true cost.”
Chin resting on his palm, Xiao stares at the view outside the windowpane, his mind fluttering away from what's being discussed by the lecturer, much like the petals floating in the air, drifting away from their branches.
Growing up within a family of prominent businessmen, and in the leading financial and trade capital of the continent, Liyue Harbor, he's had enough of economics, along with what comes with it. He remembers learning first what the processes of production are than learning what comes first in washing the dishes.
It has always been a complicated matter, for him, anyway. Computations, analyses, and principles, on top of knowing how to act and make the right calls. Wealth, power, and one's position in the societal hierarchy—those things are too arduous for Xiao's liking. Even the act of simple socializing has become filled with intricacies; mazes of words to say, one wrong turn, and you're caught in a trap; the result of everyone wanting to be at the top of the food chain.
Simply put, one: economics makes him deal with people, two: people are vexing and confusing, and three, lastly: Xiao is not fond of puzzles.
In front is Miss Ningguang with her presentation, going on and on about missed opportunities. But the thought of her words slip past Xiao, his mind zoning in on her voice echoing softly in the lecture room. Her mellow voice, accompanied by a soft breeze sliding past his face, sounds soothing, lulling his eyelids into closing… slowly…
Until something sunny catches in his peripheral, peeking behind the window, observing him.
In reflex, Xiao whips his head, and the next thing he knew, there’s a massive ache in his backside, he's on his back on the concrete along with the scattered stationery that was on his table. Someone is looming over him, a lopsided grin plastered on his lips.
Startled by the commotion, Xiao hears the screeches of chairs, footsteps, and calls of his name; but they all come distant and muffled, merely background noise to his thumping chest.
While he remains unmoving on the ground, like a marionette with its strings cut off, said someone continues to loom over him, smile not ceasing. “Did I scare you, little boy?”
Gold meets gold…
What the fuck?!, he screams to himself, but he must've said it out loud as there's an answer behind him. “Xiao, what's the matter? Are you alright?”
Eyes glued forward, Xiao speaks. “Wha—Why are you here? How… are you here?”
The blonde squats in front of him, leaning, and yet he doesn’t speak. He continues to observe Xiao, golden eyes boring into his own. The grin is no longer, replaced by a solemn look as he follows every minuscule move of his. The blonde doesn’t seem fazed by the people around them, nor the people around them seem fazed by him.
Wait…
More footsteps, rustling, then a hand lands on his shoulder. “Xiao? Who are you talking to?” someone asks. Hu Tao, he guesses, but the voice was uncharacteristically lacking mischief that he might be wrong.
It was only after a few seconds that Xiao registers the question. His eyes widen. “You can't see him?” he says, motioning in front of him.
“Who?”
The blonde is still staring at him, a curious gleam in his eyes. Xiao growls in the blonde's direction. “Then who the fuck are you?”
Xiao admits that he was looking for him, but he need not to show himself this way.
Instead of the mysterious creature’s answer, what Xiao hears are more gasps behind him, and even more frantic footsteps. Beside him, he distantly hears Hu Tao’s voice. “Miss Ningguang, he’s hallucinating—”
It makes Xiao face her. “I’m not—”
“Please call Mister Zhongli ASAP, Miss Ningguang!” Hu Tao says, as if she didn’t hear anything, before turning towards Xiao again. Hu Tao grabs both of his shoulders. “Breath after me, okay?! One… two… three! Inhale! One… two… three! Exhale! One—”
“What's wrong with you?!” Xiao stands up, then steps away from Hu Tao. If it weren’t for the situation at hand, he would have told her that she was doing an awful job at breathing exercise.
But he doesn’t have time for that. He points at the figure squatting before him. “Why aren't you saying anything?! Did you rope everyone to go along with this shit?” Xiao then faces his classmates, whose faces are a mixture of shock, fear, and worry. But one thing is constant. They're looking at him as if he's out of his mind.
He bares his a teeth at all of them. “What?! Is this some sort of elaborate prank?!” The room stills for a moment, anticipating his next move. They're looking at him like they would to a wild animal that escaped from its cage. “Is this entertaining to you?!”
Miss Ningguang, who is holding a phone beside him, approaches him, carefully, as though Xiao's going to tear her a limb. “Calm down. I already informed your father—”
“You what?!” I was avoiding him! Xiao runs a hand through his hair. He feels like crying.
That’s it. That’s the final straw, Xiao thinks. He's had enough of clowning himself. He isn't dealing with this crap. He needs to get out of here.
He will get out of here.
With that thought running in his mind like a mantra, Xiao grabs his bag, and storms out without looking back.
--
“Hey!”
“Stop striding too fast! This is the fiftieth set of steps! Aren't you exhausted?!”
“You—!”
“I believe you can hear me just fine! How could you ignore—”
Xiao stops his steps just as he opened the door of the rooftop. What follows is the boom of the metal door closing, and a shriek, although muffled by the unrelenting wind.
“So rude!”
Xiao turns around. When he speaks, his voice's scalding, labored breathing notwithstanding. “You think that was rude?”
In a second, the annoyed expression on the blonde's face fades away. The crease on his brows is still there, but the look on his eyes is completely different from anything Xiao has ever seen from the few moments they've interacted. The blonde opens his mouth, and then closes it, choosing to press them into a thin line instead.
He looks hurt, and to Xiao, it makes the anger in him simmer faster.
Golden eyes hesitantly try to meet Xiao's, whose eyes are trained at a spot beside the blonde. “Are you mad at me?” he asks. Xiao scoffs.
“Bullshit. After what you pulled earlier, that would be an understatement.” He says. He can't even bear to think about it; he feels so humiliated he wants to jump off a building and be reduced into a sidewalk paste. That way, there wouldn't be any brain left in him to be able to think and remember.
“I… apologize. It was far from my intention.” The blond says after a moment, and Xiao couldn’t believe his ears that he has to look at his face. The blond's eyes are cast downwards, hands behind him.
He actually looks sorry.
Really? After orchestrating all that shit, he says that he's sorry? The fucking audacity.
“How…” Xiao starts, but his voice gets overridden by the wind. He speaks again, louder this time. “How could you not mean that! You—You humiliated me, even roped my class—”
A hand grabs his arm. “I told you, it isn't that—”
“Then what is?! Are you saying that all of that wasn’t just an antic to ridicule me?!”
“It was not!” the blonde says aloud and doesn’t give Xiao any chance to refute as he continues. “And why are you putting all the blame on me? Was I at fault that I can't be seen by them?” he says, inching closer to Xiao's face, squinting. He brings his other hand to poke at Xiao's chest. “How can you see me anyway? Who are you?”
Xiao breaks free from the blonde grip and steps away. “Wha—What rubbish are you speak of? Am I…” Xiao looks at him from head to toe. Clothing aside, Xiao can see him just fine. “Are you saying that I am not supposed to see you? Stop…stop trying to make a fool out of me!”
The events of the night prior flashes before Xiao. It wasn't a trick of the eye? He shakes his head. No, that’s impossible.
He hears the blond sigh, then steps forward. Xiao steps backward.
“The only one who's trying to make a fool of you is yourself.” he says, softly. “I mean, you once thought that you would have a happy and complete family, as ridiculous as it sounds, why can't you do the same this time?”
What? That's totally unrelated to the topic at hand—
The statement has Xiao ceasing his movements, completely frozen. The bag he is gripping falls to the ground.
“How—How do you…” he falters. There's a sudden rush of images in front of him, without warning, and it takes all of Xiao's will not to crumple at its force. He slaps a hand on his forehead. He centers his attention on the harsh wind, and the lights of the building around them; the orange and red hues of the setting sun, slowly sinking into the horizon.
That’s right. I'm on the rooftop, not anywhere else. Get a grip on yourself.
“Ah.” The blond stops as well. He clears his throat. When he speaks again, his voice comes out as sheepish, but with the sudden static engulfing Xiao, he couldn’t be sure. “S-sorry. I was just doing my thing, rummaging through your thoughts to… uh—know you better. I didn’t mean to pry that deep—eh?!”
Strength seemingly leaving his body, Xiao falls forward, slumping to the ground. The adrenaline rush from his outburst earlier dissipates completely, and all that's left is an empty husk that's him, and intrusive thoughts. Distantly, Xiao feels something warm making its way down his cheeks.
“Who… who are you? Why are you doing this to me…?” he asks, weakly.
“A-Are you crying?! I'm sorry! Archons. Aether, why are you so foolish!”
Xiao's field of view shifts, from being focused on the concrete floor to the face of someone. There's an arm on his shoulder, steadying him, and a hand cradling his face. In front of him is someone blond, the sober part of him registers. Oh. He's still on the rooftop… that's right, he's here because—
“Xiao!”
A voice calls and the fog covering his consciousness evaporates, eyes now seeing, skin feeling. “Can you now hear me? Focus on my voice, okay? It’s alright.”
Come to think of it, it’s the first time he hears his name from him. He knows me, he thinks as he stares at his worried face, brows furrowed, golden eyes roving all over his face. But I don’t know him.
“You didn’t answer me… who are you?”
He blinks at Xiao.
Afterwards, he smiles.
“I’m Aether.” He says, before removing his hand on Xiao's cheek. He covers Xiao's eyes. “Rest well. Now that I am bound to you, I can't have you dying on me.”
Those words are the last thing Xiao hears before he passes out.