Archive of Our Own ^omega

Chapter Text

Here was a situation Sam thought he’d never find himself in. Face to face with an old friend but in the most unfortunate of circumstances. He was still dazed and disoriented from the whole situation, or maybe Rosemary knocked into him so damn hard he had whiplash. Until his hands were tugged forward just enough to get his attention, Sam didn’t even realize that she was holding onto his hands.

“Sam, please, this really is urgent, I-”

“What are you, a parrot? You’ve said the word ‘urgent’ so many times it hardly seems like a word now, lady.”

Max quipped, though Sam was able to see he was annoyed at best . Rosemary eased off sheepishly, letting go of Sam’s own hands as fast as her brain could manage, lest she fell victim to Max’s violent biting habit. The smaller dog looked sheepish, almost trying to sink her head into the scarf around her like a turtle. She gave the most pitiful whine Sam’s heard another dog make in an awful long while (himself excluded). 

“I’m sorry, but you really should know something, er… You are Freelance Police these days, aren’t you?”

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but Max interrupted him before he even got the chance. Max, now standing on the Desoto’s trunk, managed to achieve some sort of unspoken animalistic goal of being taller and therefore more intimidating.

“Didn’t take you for a stalker, Rose, how come you know all that, huh?”

“What?! No! It’s not like that, Max, it’s just-”

“Well gee, ‘Rosey’, why don’t you just spit it out? Lagomorph got your tongue, hm?” Max spoke in that sickly-sweet voice with his hands clasped together, leaning out to one side with his wide eyes and smile feigning innocence in his clear intimidation of the curly-haired dog.

Sam’s own frustration reached its limit, elbowing Max’s arm a little harder than he meant to in order for him to settle down. All it achieved was obtaining a look of annoyance from Max from ruining his twisted sort of fun.

“Ease up, knucklehead. You know Rose ain’t like that.” Sam felt bad for even scolding the guy, but what Rosemary could have to say could be worth Max’s griping.

“I’m really sorry to bother you two, I know you must be busy. I just… Um…” Sam just gave her a patient look and motioned gently for her to continue on. Max being less so, now impatiently tapping a foot against the Desoto with a rhythmic sound. Rosemary always did have some trouble being assertive. “I just think I know what case you’re on, everybody’s been on it, right? I, um… I think I have some information that could help.”

“So, you came to us? Er, not to sound too overtly flabbergasted here, but why come to us and not someone more, uh…” Sam struggled to find the most appropriate word, searching through the wide expanse of his thesaurus-esque brain.

“No, I don’t think the real police would take me seriously. Besides, I’m not even supposed to tell anyone what I know.” Rose had her hands folded in front of herself and was twiddling her thumbs, unable to take more than a few glances between the two.

“Well uh, what is this information, anyway?” Sam put his hands into his pockets. Something about this whole situation made his stomach turn. Or maybe it was having Max and Rose both in one place that had him nervous.

“I… I think I should tell you someplace more private than a street like this, um… Besides… We’ve kind of made a scene…” Rose’s timid voice dropped more and more as she just leaned her head closer towards the two.

Looking at the area and the people around them, yeesh… Rosemary was right. He could feel several people staring at him at all angles. Having Max have one of his little fits tends to draw a crowd. 

“This seems like some shitty plot to rope us into somethin’. What’s your angle, huh?” Max was sneering at Rose, leaning his own face towards hers. Max’s teeth chattered in a low growl or a sickening little giggle of gnashing teeth. Which it was meant to be would be forever lost to time, but Sam had always noticed it seemed to be a bit of both.

“Max, be nice to her, won’t you? You act like she’s some stranger to you.” 

It was enough to make Max go silent, but that subtle look of frustration that Sam could see never left Max’s face. Finally, he grumbled, ears pinning back just slightly as his feet hit the sidewalk, jumping down from the Desoto. Sam could see him glare towards Rose, mumbling a final comment.

“Yeah, she’s worse than a damn stranger.”

With that, Max opened the passenger door and hopped into the Desoto, closing the door with some irritation. There was an obvious tension in the air as Sam finally sighed.

“I’m sorry Rose, y’didn’t do anything wrong.”

Rose just gave a timid nod, giving a sigh as she seemed to look at where he was sitting. Sam tried to read her expression, but when dogs got those sad puppy eyes, well, it was hard to read anything past that. 

“I don’t blame him. I don’t mean to cause you two any trouble, really. I wasn’t sure what to do with what I knew, but when I recognized you two… I suppose I had to.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. Do y’mind if we try to find you when Max is in a better mood?”

Sam had only meant it in a joking manner, but Rose just seemed to frown, her voice dropping down to a whisper.

“Sam… Is Max really alright? I know I haven’t talked with you in so long, but he just seems… Different. Especially with you.” 

Hell, if that wasn’t a blow to his own growing worries. How is everyone else noticing this and not him? Of course Max is a bit of a spitfire and a wild card, but him getting upset was normal sometimes, right? He’s just playing around with him like they usually do. They always mess with each other and everything’s fine. What’s he missing that everyone else is seeing?

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’s just on edge with this case. We’ve uh, got to go pick up our daughter. He’s probably worried about that.”

Rose seemed to perk at that news, her eyes lighting up. They hadn’t spoken in a decade or two now, so of course she didn’t know about Mae. 

“Oh! Please, don’t let me keep you waiting. Go pick her up and keep her safe.” Rose searched about in her pocket for a moment before holding out a business card. “Here, just call me when you have the chance. We can figure it out from there.”

“Do researchers usually have business cards?” Sam took the card, smiling in confusion as he stowed it away in the internal pocket of his coat.

She just gave a bit of a smile back to him. “What, you guys don’t?”

Sam just shook his head. “Not really. Haven’t really had the need, I guess.”

“Strange as that is, I can’t say I’m surprised. You two have always gone by your own rules.” Rose just gave a perplexed look with a smile as she gave a small laugh. Sam just gave a nod, walking towards the driver’s side of the Desoto.

“You stay safe out there, would you?”

—

“You seriously didn’t know all this?” Mae raised an eyebrow, smiling just so in amusement.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that! I haven’t really met a chimera before. Do they really have similar hearing to– uh, full animals?” Ritz was wide-eyed and curious. She had been asking questions non-stop ever since they started discussing hearing in chimeras.

“Er– You can just say animals. Chimera or Anthropomorphic. Better yet just call ‘em by the species they are, Dog, rabbit, cat, y’know, and so on.” 

Mae was zipping up her bag, now having long finished the project with Ritz. All it would take would be turning it in tomorrow, and they’d ace it, Mae was sure. 

“Not to be all pushy… But you seem to know a lot about them being human. Do you have Chimera friends, then?” Ritz finally decided to opt to sit at the red bench. Mae was beginning to wonder how long she was going to last standing and pacing in excitement while she processed new information.

Mae seemed to stall, still debating on giving up the knowledge of her parents. Knowing full well that her parents would be here just about any minute, she finally seemed to decide some warning of their presence might be in order.

“Well, actually my parents both are. I’m gonna place bets that you already know them, actually.”

That seemed to give Ritz a perplexed look.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you’re a big journalist nerd, right? That has to mean you follow the news at least a bit.”

The cogs in Ritz’s brain seemed to turn before her eyes went wide, slamming her hands against the outdoor table as she let out a loud gasp.

“No way!! The rumors are true about all that? I thought that had to be fake! Sam and Max? Wow, hey what are they like? I’ve only read about them some, gosh… It must be cool to have them as parents!”

Mae just seemed a bit amused by the reaction, giving a little shrug.

“Eh… They’re both really dorky and out of touch. They show affection in weird ways, but I’m used to how they communicate.”

Ritz just seemed enthralled, excited as ever with more questions at the ready.

“Is Max really the president? That still seems insane.”

“He was, for about 6 months until he got impeached for messing too much with the national budget in ‘irrational and immature’ ways.” Mae added emphasis by adding in air quotations with her fingers. “Besides, the job just seemed to make mom all cranky. I think he enjoyed getting ‘fired’ in a way.” 

Ritz just gave a giggle, listening intently, nodding her head for Mae to go on.

“Uh… One of the Agents, Agent Superball, still drops by to say hello and all that. Sometimes he brings a nice fruit basket with him. Pretty nice guy I’d say.”

“Isn’t there another detective who lives with you?”

“Huh? Oh, Mr.Paper? Yeah, I guess he does, I just forget about it. We live on the first floor, Mr.Paper lives on the 3rd floor. The 2nd floor is where both the offices are.” Mae explained, vaguely gesturing with her hands.

“Hehe, that sounds crowded!”

“I’ll guess you have more people and/or more space where you live, Ritz?” Mae pried.

Ritz paused completely, as if caught off-guard. It was as if she stalled, and her excitable exterior did a hard restart, and a crack or two showed as her smile twinged. It didn't take long for her to correct herself, smiling once more.

“Oh, yeah! It’s um, it’s sorta like a one-floor apartment but it isn’t too bad. I got the place pretty much to myself!”

Mae seemed to make a mental note of that. Maybe Ritz’s parents weren’t the greatest if she was alone most of the time, but then again… Sam and Max left her alone quite frequently on cases when she wasn’t at school. But that crack that Ritz showed, was it really more than just surprise? No, better not to push for an answer. I don’t think I could handle this getting emotional.  

“So, have you gone on any adventures with them? Or are they pretty strict about that?” Ritz had changed the subject once more, but Mae could hardly mind.

“ Strict is not a fitting word for either of them.” She stated, quite matter-of-factly. “Sometimes they let me, but uh, there hasn’t been too big I’ve worked on since…” 

Mae seemed to drag on, catching herself looking to the side. Is it really smart to tell Ritz all this? No– Shut up, she’s your friend now, right?

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry, people tell me I sound a little pushy when I’m all excited. Must be—”

“The journalist in you?” Mae finished, with Ritz looking at her in a slight bewilderment. “Sorry, my dad says a similar thing.”

She only paused to clear her throat, almost mockingly adjusting a nonexistent tie as Mae’s voice went deeper to imitate Sam. “Sorry, lil’ pup, I didn’t mean to pry, must be the detective in me.” 

Mae dropped her little act, resting her arms on the grated table, smiling toward the red-headed girl. She was just giggling and laughing up a storm.

“Well jeez, Mae if you wanted to tell me I sounded like your dad lecturing you just say so!”

“Christ, don’t get me started on his lectures.” Mae shook her head with a little grimace. “But no, I haven’t been on many cases since the whole ‘Hugh Bliss’ thing.”

That seemed to have gotten Ritz’s attention, her giggling dying in her throat and her eye growing wide as she looked at her. She looked particularly shocked, and it wasn’t like Ritz couldn’t have heard about it. The entire upper east coast of America had been affected by that beam. 

“So wait, you were really with them and helped defeat that crazy guy?”

“Well, I went there, and I’m here in one piece, well, now at least.”

“ Now? What the hell happened Mae? C’mon! Can’t leave me in the dark on such a good story!”

Mae just smiled at Ritz’s anticipation and whining. Well, she was a good audience for stories at least. What the hell, why not.

“Well, he separated myself from my vices, and my parents had to pick up those pieces and physically put me pack together. I don’t remember much, it was like a euphoric blur, and plus I was kinda blinded by my lack of eyes.”

“Jesus! No wonder they haven’t taken you on a new case. They’re worried about you, oh that’s really cute.”

“Ugh—” Mae could only groan, shoving a hand into her hair. “Fuckin’ tell me about it. With this serial killer on the loose they’ve been acting even more looney than usual.” Mae paused to drop her hand back down onto the table, and locked eyes with Ritz if only for the effect of it. “ Trust me , when I say that’s saying something with how they are.”

Almost to speak of the devil, the sound of a honking car horn seemed to pull both of their attention toward the Desoto with Sam and Max inside, windows rolled down. Max was the first to not only pop his head out from the window, but his entire upper body as he waved his arms and hands around in an attempt to further draw attention to himself.

“HIIII MAE SWEETIE!!”

Mae’s deadpan look came back onto her face with a slight grimace. She picked up her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. She loves them, truly and honestly she does. But dear God, they can be annoying as hell and just as embarrassing sometimes. 

“I can hear you, mom. You’re just about 20 feet away.”

“I can’t help myself! Don’t— Ooooohh !! Is this the new pal you told us about? HEY KID WHAT’S YER—”

Sam’s large paw reached in between the lagomorph’s ears, smacking his paw into his face and essentially smothering Max as he got dragged back into the car.

“Sorry about that, kiddo! He’s a bit of a wild card. You got a ride home?”

Ritz just seemed more endlessly amused and overjoyed than annoyed or embarrassed. Her blue eyes were practically sparkling and there was no chance of hiding her wide smile. She definitely seemed a bit starstruck. 

“Oh! No no, I’m okay! Thank you mister—”

“ Gee , don’t make me feel too old here. You can just call me Sam.” More muffled noises of struggle and thrashing became evident from behind his large paw covering Max’s large face. Finally letting go, he gestured with his hand toward the rabbit. “He’s Max.”

Finally given the chance to properly breathe, Max slumped slightly in his seat as he caught his breath. Eyes catching onto Ritz, it was like he was electrocuted with a reinvigorated energy. Ears perked straight back up and grinning, his head popped right back out from the window to the two girls now only about five feet or so from the Desoto. 

“Hey!! I don’t think I’ve ever met a red-headed human before. Is it true you can steal souls? If so, how do I harness that ability for myself?”

“Wha—?” Ritz’s demeanor shifted to abject confusion.

“God, ignore him. Do you need a ride home with us?” Mae shook her head, opening the back door of the Desoto and tossing her bag haphazardly inside onto the seats.

“No, but thanks Mayflower. Get home safe and all that!”

Max seemed to raise a brow, shifting his seated position to look between the two. “Mayflower? How colonial.”

Mae just seemed to ignore him, giving Ritz a nod as she got inside and closed the door. She waved to the short fluffy haired girl and sighed, slumping into her seat. It only took a few beats of silence for Mae to realize that they were arguing. The car never gets this quiet for too long unless they’re both holding off on arguing in front of her. Well… Dinner will be interesting at least.

“So, kiddo! Who’s the nice girl y’made friends with today?” Sam started, finally trying to ease the tension.

“Oh? Yeah, her name’s Ritz.”

“PFFFT— Dios mío. Like the cracker? Madre de dios, she IS one!”

“Be quiet, buckethead. Don’t talk like that in front of her, let Mae have some friends of her own age.”

At that moment, Mae quietly decided that keeping Ritz away from Sam and Max was probably in her best interest if she wanted Ritz to not be scared away.