Chapter Text
Megumi is mad at him.
It’s the end of the exchange event, ended by Itadori with a home run, and he went to Megumi, to see if he congratulates him, and if he’s really lucky, Megumi accepts a hug. And if the gods decide to shine on him, maybe Megumi will even kiss him again.
Itadori still can’t process that. Megumi kissed him. Did he like him? Since when? What if it was a moment of hysteria? What if he was just checking to see if Itadori was real and not an illusion, and just touched his lips against his instead of hitting him? What if he was trying to hit Itadori, but he tripped and they ended up kissing, and now he’s embarrassed and he’s not talking to him?
No, he’s just overthinking. Maybe
But, Itadori cannot figure out why Megumi is avoiding him. Well, there are a lot of reasons why Megumi might be mad at him. Dying, coming back to life and not telling him, remaining in hiding with Gojo-sensei and still not informing him that he’s alive, and popping out of a box to surprise everyone when they had been mourning him for months…
Okay, in his defense, It was Gojo-sensei’s idea, and he thought it was a bit insensitive, but by the time that thought crossed his mind he was already in the box for the surprise.
Itadori heads towards his dorm, feeling slightly dejected, then jumps when he sees a flash of spiky black hair heading towards the room next to his.
“Fushiguro!”
Itadori runs towards the door as Megumi slams it closed, leading to a loud slam as Itadori’s head comes into collision with the sliding door.
“Ow.”
“Sorry.”
Megumi genuinely looks sorry, looking concerned and leaving the door open enough for Itadori to make his way through.
“It’s okay Fushiguro. It will take more than that to kill me.” He taps his head with a smile, hoping for Megumi to laugh.
He does not. He looks at Itadori with an unreadable expression, and Itadori flounders.
“Ah, I mean, that was insensitive, since you thought I was dead, but I knew I wasn’t dead which is why I made that joke, wait that’s even worse-.”
Megumi stops him. “It’s fine, Itadori. If you don’t have anything else, I’m gonna take a nap.”
“Wait-”
As Megumi turns to escort him out, Itadori takes him by the shoulders and pushes him gently at the wall, effectively pinning him.
Megumi glances at the two arms pinning him impassively. “Well, you have my attention.”
Itadori quickly pulls his hands back.
“Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine, Itadori. Now, what is it you want to talk about?”
“We kissed Fushiguro!”
Itadori’s face is probably as pink as his hair now, and looking at Megumi, he isn’t faring any better, with pink dusting his cheeks and ears.
So cute, Itadori thought.
“And?”
Megumi was looking everywhere but at him. Itadori turns his face so that they’re looking into each other's eyes.
“And I need to know what it means.”
Megumi kisses him. It's hot and fast and Itadori spends no time reciprocating. Their mouths move together messily, rushed and urgent.
Itadori realizes that this is a way of avoiding the question, and pulls away to call Megumi out on it, but Megumi’s hands move under the hem of his shirt, and his brain short circuits. The cool sensation of Megumi’s hands lightly trailing his hips gives him goosebumps and it’s all he can think about. Megumi moves to pull Itador’s shirt up, and instinctively, Itadori pulls his shirt off, continuing the kiss.
They move towards the bed and Megumi falls on the mattress. Itadori looks down at Megumi, at his flushed face, his expression eager and waiting and so irresistible. Megumi takes off his shirt, and Itadori slowly crawls on top of the bed and brushes their noses together. They’re both waiting now, panting as they stare at each other to see who will move first. It was Megumi, who leaned in after a few moments but what felt like forever, kissing Itadori, licking the other’s bottom lip, asking for access.
Itadori obliges, opening his mouth and letting their tongues move together. Megumi feels so small in his arms, and he wants to just hold him gently and shield him from everything.
When Megumi starts to undo his belt, Itadori pulls back.
“Woah woah, hold on.”
Megumi gives a confuzzled expression. “Was that not what we were going to be doing when we’re kissing shirtless on my bed?”
“No, I mean yes, I mean, later! Like not right now. At least, after we’ve talked first?”
Megumi looks at him, expression unreadable. Then, after a few moments, he sighs and tosses Itadori his shirt after he puts on his.
“What is there to talk about?”
“Well-”
He didn’t know where to start. He just decided to blurt out the first things that came to his mind, as he usually does.
“What are we, Fushiguro?”
Megumi flinched slightly, then continued with his cool mask. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I came back from the dead and you kissed me in front of everyone, which was amazing, but after the exchange event, you started to avoid me. And now when I confront you about it, you just kiss me again, which again, is amazing but I will not get distracted-”
“I avoided you because something happened to you before coming to the exchange event and you won’t tell me. I thought we could both use a minute to process everything that’s happened before talking about us.”
“But you kissing me when I came to your room?”
“I felt bad about hitting you with the door that I kind of forgot. Plus,” Megumi blushed and looked away. “You looked really cute.”
Itadori feels like an idiot for misreading the situation. He went over and hugged Megumi as an unspoken apology, and Megumi hugged him back, indicating he was forgiven.
“So are you ready to tell me what happened?”
Itadori hums, less confident than he looks. I mean, how do you tell you’re now almost boyfriend that you just failed in saving someone you saw romantically, and even basically caused their death?
Megumi seems to notice the shift in Itadori’s mood and rubs his hand against his shoulder. “You don’t have to right now, you know.”
Itadori shakes his head. He has to now, or else he thinks he never will.
“His name was Junpei.”
Megumi’s expression shifts at that, both questioning and a bit confused. But not hurt, or angry as far as Itadori could see.
“We- we were a couple.”
Seeing Megumi’s cold expression, he quickly backtracked.
“When I say a couple, I mean like we went on a few dates, not even really dates we just watched movies and I met his mom but it was by accident and it wasn’t that serious-”
“Itadori.”
“Right. Sorry.” He sheepishly scratched his head.
“As I was saying, we were something. And then he died.”
Megumi opened his mouth but could find nothing to say. Itadori didn’t notice. His gaze was directed elsewhere, his eyes starting to fill with tears.
“I couldn’t save him. I trained so hard and still, I was too weak.” He spat out that word, as if it were a curse.
He laughs softly, but it’s full of mirth. “You know, I even begged Sukuna to save him. I was willing to give up my body, my life, everything for him and that moment. And he said no.” He’s laughing hysterically now, looking up at the ceiling and shaking as if there was an insatiable chill within him.
“Isn’t it funny? Sukuna could have taken over my body, created as much havoc as he wanted if he just healed him. But he didn’t, just to make me suffer. I hate him, I hate him so much, but honestly, I hate myself even more, even thinking I could rely on anyone and the King of curses of people.”
Itadori looks at Megumi now, all smiles but his gaze filled with pain and hysteria. “Fushiguro, you should stay away before I get you killed as well.”
Itadori closes his eyes and looks down, forcing down the tears. He doesn’t want to cry now, and he doesn’t want Megumi to see him cry. It was stupid for him to return Megumi’s feelings, as if he deserves him. Now he has to end things before it’s even started before he hurts Megumi to-
Megumi slaps him. It makes a loud thwack, contrasting the harsh silence of the room. Itadori puts a hand to his cheek in disbelief, the spot already starting to go red.
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t handle you spouting utter bullshit.”
Itadori remains silent, still looking at Megumi in shock. Megumi takes his free hand in an attempt of comfort, rubbing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.
“Can I say my piece now?”
Itadori could only nod dumbly.
“When I thought you were dead, I was a mess. I was so full of regret and guilt. I blamed myself for not saving you for being weak.”
Itadori made a noise of disagreement. “But Fushi-” Megumi gave him a warning look, and he immediately clamped his mouth shut.
“But over time, I started to turn my guilt into conviction. I’m not like you, where I want to save everyone, but I wanted to make sure I was strong enough to save who I choose to save. I wanted to make sure I don’t lose anyone I love.” He squeezes Itadori’s hand at that, tears starting to form in his eyes.
Itadori immediately moves to him, eyes full of concern and care as he uses a hand to brush the tears forming at the corners of Megumi’s eyes. Megumi puts his hand over Itadori’s, humming contentedly.
“You know, ever since I thought I lost you, there was nothing more I wanted than to tell and show you I feel. I dreamt about you constantly, but it left me empty, as nothing could compare to holding you in real life.”
He hugs Itadori now, and Itadori melts into him, allowing himself to be vulnerable, to allow Megumi to be his support.
“I know you feel horrible about what happened, and I’m fine if you want to take it slow, or not want me at all. I just need you to be okay. No matter what, I will be there for you. No one is strong enough to save everyone. But I will be with you, to save as much as we can. Together.”
Itadori pulls away at that, to look at Megumi as if he’s seeing him for the first time. He puts their foreheads together, and closes his eyes, enjoying the proximity.
“If you think even for a second that I haven’t been hopelessly in love with you since the beginning, I obviously need to do better.”
“I knew. And I pushed you away.”
Itadori takes his hand, squeezing it tightly and bringing it to his lips. “Seems like we both fucked up. But not anymore. After all, partners have to always be open with each other.”
Megumi’s expression is unreadable for a second, then he smiles wide and gleeful, like a child. “Yes. Partners do everything together, on equal footing. I’ll save you and you’ll save me.”
Itadori balks at Megumi’s expression, it feels like he’s looking at the sun, or a benevolent god that would save him with just a smile. He runs his hands through Megumi’s spiky hair.
“I can’t believe you’re real. What did I do right that someone like you would fall for me.”
Megumi blushes slightly. “I will slap you again.”
Itadori pouts. “But I’m not recovered from your last slap, Megumi.”
The sound of his name in Itadori’s mouth made his blush intensify, and unfortunately for him, Itadori noticed. With a mischievous grin, he lays on the bed feigning injury.
“Oh Megumi, whatever am I going to do? The room is spinning. Megumi, I need your care. Megumi-”
He’s cut off by Megumi kissing him on the cheek where he was slapped. He immediately laid down on the bed facing away from Itadori to prevent him from seeing his flushed face.
“If you’re so hurt, just sleep here and recover. You’re lucky I was planning to take a nap anyway.”
Itadori grins and kisses behind Megumi’s ear that was burning red, which makes Megumi gasp.
“I am so lucky that you’re so caring, Megumi.”
“No saying my first name for the rest of the day.”
“Aw. And I was having so much fun.”
Megumi turns to sleep but feels a hand brushing his knuckles. He looks out of the corner of his eyes to see Itadori looking conflicted, mumbling something. He doesn’t spur him on, and waits for him to speak up.
“How long?”
“What?”
“How long did it take you to stop dreaming of me?”
Megumi looks closely at him. Itadori is fidgeting, and there are hints of dark circles under his eyes. When was the last time he’s had a proper sleep?
“I stopped dreaming of you a few weeks before the festival.”
“Hm. Okay. I guess it’s not hopeless then.”
He smiles, but there’s obvious pain and anxiety leaking through. Megumi takes his hand and holds him close.
“When I was grieving, I only wanted to be held by you, to be comforted. Nothing could have substituted for you. I know that guy- I know Junpei won’t come back like you did for me. And I know you must desperately want to see him and hold him once more despite knowing you can’t. I’m not Junpei, and I won’t ever try to be, but as your partner, I can still hold you, and help you get through this.”
Itadori wanted to weep in his arms. He wanted to explain to Megumi how grateful he was for accepting that though he loved Megumi very much, he still gave part of his heart to another, and that part is still healing. Instead of articulating this, he kissed Megumi on his forehead, hoping the meaning was passed along.
“Goodnight, my partner.”
“Goodnight.”
Itadori slept with his hand in Megumi’s and for the first time, he wasn’t scared as he felt himself drifting away and succumbing to sleep. Because even if he had another nightmare, he had someone who would bring him out. He was constantly drowning, and Megumi was his life raft. In the quiet of the room, with the only sound being Megumi’s soft snores, Itadori found the courage to whisper one last thing to the sleeping boy next to him.
“I love you, partner.”