Chapter Text
When Tommy awoke surrounded by his family, his first thought was, “Ow.”
He voiced this thought, words escaping through chapped lips. This was a very good thought based on the relieved reactions of those around him. He put a hand on the snow to sit upright, vision immediately going spotty and falling backward. Luckily, Techno seemed prepared for that as his hand shot out to help lower Tommy into a relaxed position.
Phil spoke up, worry and confusion surrounding him like a cloud, “We are going to carry you into the house so you won’t get sick from the cold. I don’t think you’ll be able to walk without passing out again.”
“I could try.”
“No, you won’t,” Phil responded, tone kind but firm, leaving no room for argument.
Tommy felt Techno scoop him off of the snow and haul him into the house. The contrast from the familiar cold to the sudden warmth, threw Tommy off a bit. Techno set him on the couch, taking off his snow-soaked socks and throwing them into the corner. Wilbur picked up the broom and started to sweep the broken glass. He looked at Tommy several times, looking like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what.
Phil came back with a glass of water and crouched down next to Tommy, “Boys, I need you two to leave, go to your rooms for a while.” He spoke at Wilbur and Techno but continued to fuss with Tommy, pushing his hair out of his face and grabbing a blanket. The two left, Wilbur and Tommy sharing a slight smile when he looked back from the stairs.
Tommy suddenly felt nervous now that his brothers had left, he was about to experience the full extent of his father’s disappointment.
“You realize why this is concerning, right? You’ve been overworking yourself over something, clearly getting no sleep and stressing out, now you’ve passed out?? Mate, I was trying to give you time to talk to me about this, but you clearly haven’t. What is going on?”
Phil’s tone made Tommy instantly melt with guilt, “Look, I’m sorry for worrying you, Phil, I really didn’t realize I was. I can show you what’s been stressing me out so much, but I’m not gonna tell you, not here.” Tommy looked around, trying to see if Wilbur or Techno were listening in. They were probably right up the stairs, ears straining to pick up the conversation.
Phil’s eyes widened in concern and curiosity, “Okay, mate, do you feel like you can walk?”
Tommy nodded, any dizziness from the fainting had since passed. The two walked up the stairs, Phil staying close behind Tommy in case he fell again. Once inside Tommy’s room, he locked the door and shushed Phil when he tried to talk, putting on the Able Sisters and placing his phone next to the door to block out any possible eavesdropping.
“Okay look, I’ve been crocheting Techno and Wilbur’s Christmas presents, they’re taking so long and I have been having to skip out on sleep and hanging out with you guys to work on them. Honestly, I need like three extra hands to get this done in time and it is freaking me out.” Tommy rushed out, pulling out the squares he had finished from under his mattress.
Phil couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief, “Jesus christ, you passed out because of Christmas?”
“Yeah? I mean, I have to get the presents done.” Tommy replied, sounding unsure of himself. Phil sat down on the desk chair and gestured for Tommy to sit on the bed.
“Look, Tommy, you’re a kind and good kid,” Tommy pulled a face, “maybe too good, but you get that from your mom. The issue with good people is that sometimes they will destroy themselves trying to make others happy, and they usually don’t realize that destroying yourself like that is not a gift for others. Making these gifts for your brothers is very nice, but not taking care of yourself over it is no gift. Your brothers would rather you be taking care of yourself and be safe rather than get a gift. You have to prioritize yourself, sometimes even over family.”
Tommy spoke up, looking up from a spot on the floor to Phil’s gentle face, he blinked bad the tears that welled in his eyes, “I just don’t want them to forget about me when they’re gone. I need to give them something to be reminded of me and give them a reason to want to remember me.” His voice cracked and so did Phil’s composure, rushing forward to hug Tommy.
“How could you say that? They will never forget you, never.”
“How do you know?” Tommy asked, voice muffled from being tucked against Phil.
Phil pulled Tommy away to look him in the eyes, “Because you are their little brother and they love you more than life itself.”
Tommy shoved himself back into Phil’s arms and they stayed like that for a few minutes, tears silently streaming down Tommy’s face. Able Sisters continued to play in the background and Phil couldn’t help but laugh as an idea popped into his head.
“It’s two days before Christmas, how about you go over to Tubbo’s tonight? Maybe he can help ease the workload so you can rest.”
Tommy pulled away, “Good idea, Philza Minecraft, are you sure you’d be okay with that?”
Phil smiled, “Of course, I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t. Text him to make sure that Sam is okay with it and I can drive you over.”
The next two hours went by slowly, they continued to decorate the tree while Techno and Wilbur kept fussing over Tommy worriedly. Tommy could tell they wanted to ask what was going on but lightly restrained themselves, which he appreciated. They drank hot chocolate while they finished up, this time a french recipe Techno wanted to try out. When there was nothing else to do, Tommy and Phil went over to Tubbo’s house.
However, Tubbo was not excited to hear about why Tommy was coming over.
Once Phil left, Tubbo began yelling.
“Tommy, what the hell were you thinking? Boo and I knew you were overworking yourself, but not this bad.” Tubbo threw his arms around in frustration, Tommy sat on the bed staring worriedly at the other boy.
“Look, Tubbo, I’m sorry-”
“Why didn’t you ask for help? Why have you still not asked for help?”
Tommy paused to look out of the window, “I thought I could handle it, I think I still can, honestly, but I know I shouldn’t try. Would you help me? You don’t have to but…” He trailed off and looked back at Tubbo.
Tubbo cracked a grin, “All you had to do was ask.”
Ranboo showed up twenty minutes later with a package of frozen cookies, and crocheting hooks still in a Walmart bag.
“Heard there’s a crocheting sleepover.”
They ended up on the couch, legs propped up against the coffee table with the smell of cookies, coffee, and hot chocolate wafting through the air. “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” played, it was the trio’s general consensus of the best Christmas movie, and of all six years of their friendship, they had watched it every year.
Tommy had to teach Tubbo how to do the stitches, though it was only a single stitch pattern, luckily Ranboo already knew how to crochet. Tubbo picked it up lighting fast and they soon became a train of productivity. Once the movie ended, they went back to Tubbo’s room and turned on some softer background music, making casual conversation as they went along.
“What’s your biggest fear?” Ranboo asked, looping the red yarn around his hook.
“Probably being forced to eat my own toes and limbs and such.”
The split-haired bitch groaned, “Tubbo”
“What? You asked, I answered!”
“I think Boob wanted something a bit more normal, like being decapitated by a line of rusty nails,” Tommy piped up helpfully, Tubbo nodded in understanding and Ranboo scooted back a few feet from the two.
“You guys worry me for the sake of the world,” Ranboo muttered.
Tubbo scowled and looked at him, “That’s pretty mean. Tommy and I should start a crochet club with just the two of us, right, Tommy?”
Tommy jolted forward, having been in a half-asleep state against Tubbo’s shoulder on the bed, “Uh, yeah agreed.”
“Tommy, do you want to go to sleep?” Ranboo offered, sharing a look with Tubbo.
“I‘m okay, just need to finish this patch.” Tommy replied, dragging a hand over his face in exhaustion.
Tubbo rolled his eyes, “Tommy, go to sleep. Boo n’ I can finish up, you need rest.”
The offer wasn’t something Tommy necessarily wanted to pass up, “Okay fine, sure, as long as you don’t mind.”
Tubbo fixed him with a hard look and moved where he was on the bed so Tommy could be comfortable. Ranboo turned off the overhead lights and instead turned on Christmas lights that hung around Tubbo’s room.
Going to sleep happened quickly for Tommy. The feeling of safety and comfort surrounded him, even more so when he felt Ranboo get onto the bed to talk with Tubbo. The whispers of the two lulled Tommy into a wonderfully silent sleep. For the first time in over a week, he didn’t feel anxious when he allowed himself to slip away, the knowledge that his best friends would make sure he was taken care of with the presents.
Waking up and leaving the Underscore’s house was always the worst part of the visit. Saying bye to Tubbo’s uncle and guardian, Mr. Sam, was always disappointing. The man discussed his projects with such excitement over breakfast, waving the spatula around ideas as dreams grew in the boy's mind.
Mr. Sam was very good at making Tommy feel comfortable in his more childish endeavors. The engineer even had programmed a little robot that Tommy had named “Sam Nook” for his birthday a couple of birthdays back. Sam was basically Tommy’s second dad and he sometimes stayed over just to hang out with Sam.
Tommy hugged the three goodbye and told them he would see them tomorrow for their gifts, which they all shook their heads at.
“I’ll only accept it if you get some rest,” Sam said, making Tommy grin sheepishly.
“Yeah, Sam, will do.”
Being back home made the familiar crawl of stress return, and Tommy counted all the patches made with growing relief. It was Christmas Eve and he had three more to make.
He spent the rest of the day with family, watching movies, playing Mario Kart, and coming close to having a pillow fight. Wilbur would have deserved a pillow-hit to the face, Tommy was certain he was cheating.
“Tommy, I’m not fuckin’ cheating, you’re just shit,” Wilbur yelled across the couch, trying to get away from Tommy.
Tommy yelled right back, “That’s exactly what a cheater would say!”
Tommy and Techno were the last to go to their bedrooms that night, Techno stopped in front of Tommy’s door when the younger stopped to go in.
“Tommy, I know you talked to Phil about what’s going on, but just know that you can tell me about stuff if you ever need to. I can listen.” Techno offered, his words seemed hesitant, as though they were unsure whether or not they were the right ones to say.
Tommy felt that same recurring guilt, “I know, Blade, I appreciate it too. If I need to, I’ll talk to you, promise.”
Techno nodded, satisfaction apparent and Tommy felt the guilt subside.
“Alright, ‘night, kid. Happy Christmas Eve,” Techno said, affectionately patting Tommy on the shoulder.
“Happy Christmas Eve, Tech.”
Tommy shut the door behind him and pulled out his skein of yarn for the last time. He crocheted the last two squares before moving on to sewing it all together, listening to some playlist of Wilbur’s. The sewing-it-all-together process was tedious and Tommy let out the largest sigh of relief he ever had when he snipped off the loose strings. Wrapping the two sweaters in tissue paper and shoving them in bags was simple, writing his brother’s names on little tags that were attached.
Tommy set the bags next to his pile of other gifts and got into bed as fast as he could, falling asleep the second his head hit the pillow.
Tommy was done, now all that was left to do was actually give the gifts.