Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The room was filled with the sounds of ecstatic heavy breathing, panting amidst the energetic physical activity. Twin masses of blue and blonde hair were splayed out in the aftermath, a short and a taller woman laid side-by-side, the same wide, joyous grin on each of their tired, yet overwhelmingly satisfied faces.

“Friendship ruined then?” Charlotte spoke into the darkness.

“Totally.” Charlotte could practically hear the smirk radiating off her bedside partner. As she turned to face her, she found that yes; she was definitely smirking. 

It had been a little over a week since Team TARDIS had been reunited. The event had been cemented with a great deal of hugging between all five friends, each of them overjoyed to finally have Sasha back where she belonged.

Home.

She could scarcely believe that just a few short months ago, she was an overly cynical woman who believed that anyone claiming friendship was really just measuring where to stick the knife in her back. Instead, she’d found companionship in three other human women, and one Time Lord. 

When she’d initially jumped inside that fascinating blue box, Sasha had assumed she’d only need one or two trips in time to ascertain how much of a threat the strangers on board posed to her. 

Instead, she’d found that it was time to stop looking for a reason to mistrust, and to give it willingly until proven otherwise. Bayley had taught her that.

Bayley, who had made a great fuss over Sasha upon her return. The blue haired Bostonian had insisted that she was fine, but the altruistic Latina had ensured Sasha had everything she needed. If she wanted a friend to watch Korean movies with in the TARDIS cinema, Bayley was there, even if they tended to abandon their viewing in favour of banter-filled conversations and deep discussions. If she needed a hug from her best friend to press pause on her trauma, Bayley was back to her old ways. 

Becky had also been a shining example of a legit good friend to have. Although Sasha and Becky’s relationship could be defined as “good natured bullying”, full of teasing barbs, sarcastic jokes, and immature pranks, the Irish woman had become noticeably more tame since Sasha had last seen her. Gone were the dad jokes and litany of puns to rattle off like an overexcited child on a sugar rush. But apparently, Bayley had rubbed off on Becky. Becky seemed to notice far quicker than anyone else whenever Sasha was having a bad day, quick to rush to her side and brighten up her smile with a quick quip and an even quicker hug. Their friendship certainly wasn’t as touchy-feely as the one Sasha had with Bayley. But Becky knew when to make an exception.

The Doctor was still the same old eccentric alien, full of fun and a zest for life that rivalled Sasha’s. Sasha had clung to the ideal of the Doctor as her friend and saviour the entire time the Master had worked tirelessly through emotional manipulation and torture to turn her over to his side. While Sasha recognised a significant amount of that was purely out of spite, she never doubted that the wonderful man who had opened her eyes to the wonders of the universe -  frustrating her with his overprotective nature at times - had her best interests and safety in both of his hearts. It hadn’t escaped Sasha’s notice that whenever the Doctor noticed she was looking particularly forlorn, he would be right there with a thrilling tale of his previous exploits through time and space to distract her. When that didn’t work, he’d gone to the lengths of teaching Sasha how to fly the TARDIS. This of course worked like a charm, the exciting prospect of piloting that magnificent timeship helping her forget the horrors of her own mind to soak in all the knowledge he could pass onto her. She never quite got the hang of it, of course. It would take years to master the TARDIS (and if she was honest, she wasn’t so sure the Doctor had got it down). But it always put a delighted, genuinely thrilled smile on her face for the rest of the day.

Initially, Sasha was grateful for the love her friends were showing her. It was smothering in the best way possible, wrapping her in a comfortable blanket of love to forget her worries and shield her from any harm the universe had to offer. She had missed her friends dearly in the weeks she’d been abducted, tortured daily in a futile attempt to break her iron-willed spirit. Or at least, the Master had led her to believe it was weeks. In actuality, they were insidious lies designed to try to break her heart so he could worm his way into the hole he had created. Although she knew factually it had only been eight days, her days as a prisoner had felt like a lifetime. Eight days clinging onto her sanity and missing her friends. And it was clear that they had missed her.

The Doctor had given Sasha the reigns for the subsequent adventures, encouraging her to pick any time or place she wanted. She’d certainly enjoyed herself thoroughly, taking them on a few trips through Asia throughout a selection of time periods, a couple trips into the far future, as well as an enjoyable day out to the Death Star (despite the menacing name, a planet specifically chosen as a colossal Star Wars amusement planet in the twenty-fifth century). 

But without a shadow of a doubt, Sasha’s biggest development since her return had been her newfound relationship with Charlotte.

As Sasha snuggled closer, resting her head on the soft pillows that constituted her girlfriend’s bare chest, she found it difficult to not give into the temptation to close her eyes and let sleep claim her. But she valued the time spent speaking softly in the afterglow, where any teasing or jokes were light and delivered affectionately. 

Where only honest, vulnerable discussions were appropriate between the two women.

Where she could hear the soothing sound of her girlfriend’s beating heart, thumping with love. 

“Hows your cheek today?” Charlotte spoke softly, stroking her thumb tenderly over the purple mark across her girlfriend’s face. It was a sign of how well it was healing that Sasha didn’t wince as she had done at the same action a week ago, a mark left from having the taste backhanded out of her mouth from an Ogron on the day she was abducted. Two weeks later, the tender skin was well on its way to full recovery. She just wished she could say the same about her mind.

“Better,” Sasha answered, her heart melting at the look of care shining in Charlotte’s eyes. When they’d first met, Sasha had dismissed her as a typical rich snob, out for herself rather than anyone else. But now, all these months later, she’d discovered that her unfair assumption couldn’t have been any further from the truth. “Feels back to normal, its just superficial now.”

“Good, so now I can finally do this,” Charlotte leaned in to plant her lips on the purple skin, causing an unbreakable smile to involuntarily spread Sasha’s mouth at having a loving girlfriend to kiss her. Not necessarily as a precursor to something more, but simply because she wanted to care for her. “Kiss it better without you whining like a baby.”

“I was injured!”

“Baby.”

“You know for someone so freakishly tall, you’re such a little shit sometimes, you know that?” 

“Mhmm, I do,” Charlotte continued to smirk, a dazzling smile that brightened up Sasha’s whole world, knowing it was just for her. “But you love me anyway.”

“Who says I love you?”

“Pretty sure the fact that you haven’t stopped grinning like an idiot for the past minute is proof enough.”

At that point, Sasha knew the best thing to do was to shut her mouth and lie her head back down on her girlfriend’s insanely comfortable chest. 

It was inconceivable to herself just a year ago that Sasha could ever be as vulnerable as she was right now with Charlotte Flair. Yet that’s exactly what had happened. Though she couldn’t bring herself to say the words back just yet, Sasha knew that Charlotte’s teasing had hit the nail right on the head. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling most of the time, her heart feeling full of love for the woman she now shared her life with. Their relationship was still new, just over a week old.

Yet, that hadn’t been the real start. Not really. They’d spent months travelling all of space and time together. And sure, they had gotten off to a rocky start. But there was always some innate chemistry at play with them. Once they had begun opening up to each other, that was it. It was inevitable that they’d gravitate towards and latch onto one another.

Besides that, there was something special about life on board the TARDIS. Forming a bond there wasn’t the same as making friends in a typical nine-to-five job. Sasha, Becky, Charlotte and Bayley had to put their utmost trust and faith into each other, that they would keep each other safe. They were living together, exploring together, defeating monsters and saving civilisations together. Not only was the rate of friendship accelerated, but so were the feelings they had for each other. 

It had only been two weeks of being official girlfriends. But their time as soulmates had started much earlier than that.

Charlotte smiled to herself as she heard the soft breaths that signified her girlfriend was asleep. Knowing that her girlfriend was resting finally allowed Charlotte to give into sleep’s welcoming embrace herself, the soft puffs of air as Sasha slept lulling her to into her own rest.

“Now my dear, lets try this again. Is the Doctor still coming to save you?”

She could see his malicious gaze, cold eyes boring into her soul, whispering promises of power and glory if she would just cast aside her childish hero worship of the selfish, vain creature known as the Doctor.

But in her heart, Sasha knew it was only a matter of time. The Doctor would rescue her. She’d finally see her friends again. She missed Bayley’s hugs, Becky’s banter. But most of all, she missed Charlotte. There was no set of almost inhumanly strong arms she’d rather have wrapped as a protective shield around her. As soon as she was free, one of her first desires would be to ask Charlotte out on a date, her soul crying out to be held by her.

Sasha gritted her teeth and focused her spite into a look filled with ire and disdain for the hateful man in her line of vision.

“Get fucked, old man.”

“My, what a deplorable tongue you have! If the Doctor could hear you now…oh wait, that’s right. He’s not around to care, is he? Perhaps all you need is a jolt in the right direction.”

Sasha could hear her own blood-curdling scream in her ears as the unbearable wave of agony crashed all around her body. Every synapse and nerve ending was on fire. Her back only had further irritation added by the amount of times she jerked uncontrollably, slamming into the unforgiving steel with such fervour she couldn’t stop it. It didn’t work well in distracting her from the pain of having what felt like millions of volts discharged throughout her body, boiling her blood.

A split second later, the pain had disappeared completely. She looked down, to find the Doctor’s cold, dead eyes looking up at her from the floor beneath her on the floor of the TARDIS, a look of betrayal keeping his mouth still and eyes wide open. Looking to the side, she saw the corpses of Becky and Bayley, forever wracked in pain as they stared lifelessly at the ceiling. She wiped her sweaty palms on her black leather pants, feeling nothing but vindication as she had exacted her revenge on those selfish assholes who had abandoned her. With the movement, she could feel the material of the gunsling across her shoulder shift, the blaster bouncing against her side.

A brief scuffle followed by a whimper prompted her to turn to her right. She saw the Master holding the still alive Charlotte Flair, the normally proud woman driven to her knees. He was holding a blaster to her temple, gloved finger itching to pull the trigger.

“See now, Miss Banks. The woman you loved, so secure in her own safety that she thought nothing of your own. Two years, and they never came for you. Now, its your moment to take your ultimate revenge!”

Sasha strode coolly towards the terrified Flair, the blonde’s eyes full of remorse. “You never came for me,” Sasha stated, in a bitter tone filled with venom. As she brushed her own hair out of her eyes, she noticed it was jet black, rather than the eye-catching blue she was used to. “Two years, I thought you gave enough of a shit to rescue me. Clearly, you never loved me.” Her cold tone was glacier-slow, in contrast to the burning hatred she felt.

“Sasha, don’t listen to him! It’s not true, I-“

Charlotte’s pleas were silenced as the trigger was squeezed. A flash of light later, and Sasha felt the sweet feeling of vindication. The woman she held the biggest grudge against - not only for completely neglecting to keep her safe, but abandoning her to the Master - fell to the floor, begging for her life no more.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Sasha shot bolt-upright in bed, feeling the desperate scream tear from her throat. In an instant, she felt arms wrap around her from behind. A curtain of blonde hair tickled her exposed collarbone as she felt a chin rest securely on her shoulder. Meanwhile, the strong, muscular arms tightened protectively and snugly around her, keeping her grounded as she recovered her wits and realised where she was.

She was safe in her bedroom aboard the TARDIS, a little over a week after being saved by her friends. Her friends, who had indeed come to rescue her.

“Baby,” she heard Charlotte whisper lovingly into the shell of her ear, her girlfriend’s voice quivering with concern. “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Sasha felt the tension sag from her shoulders. Despite waking from a sleep, she suddenly felt exhaustion in her limbs again.

“I know, I-“ Sasha hiccupped as she could feel tears stinging at her eyes. 

It had felt so real.

The torture, the Master’s staunch lies that the Doctor had abandoned her, that was a painful sensation derived from memory.

But the feeling of betrayal, the rage coursing through her, the satisfaction of seeing her friends dead at her feet. Those weren’t memories.

And yet, she hadn’t been able to tell the difference until now, awake again. That was the trouble with dreams. 

The dam burst, and Sasha could help but sob into the hands she brought up to hide her face. 

“Oh Sasha, c’mere,” Charlotte whispered, her heart breaking at the mental anguish her poor girlfriend was suffering through. She gently maneuvered herself back down, bringing Sasha down until she was cuddled into her chest, arms wrapped protectively around her lover. There was no judgement as Sasha wept against her skin, tears wetting the tank top she slept in. She just let Sasha cry it out, waiting for her sobbing to subside as she communicated her silent support, running her hands through Sasha’s beautifully blue hair to smooth it down and ground her crying lover, a silent gesture that she was here for her when she was ready to talk.

As the heart-wrenching sobs finally slowed down, Charlotte decided to test the waters. “Was it the same nightmare again?”

Sasha couldn’t seem to find her voice, nodding meekly against her collarbone. 

Charlotte pressed her lips to Sasha’s temple, hoping the action would reassure the vulnerable woman in her arms. Thankfully, it seemed to help remind Sasha of where she was, her breathing beginning to calm. “Its okay Sasha, its not real. We came for you, and we love you, never forget that. I love you.”

Sasha’s icy fear was melted by the burning love warming her up as Charlotte squeezed her arms, the touch enough to reassure her in that moment. Charlotte felt Sasha’s hand find her own, squeezing back in silent response, knowing that her girlfriend wasn’t in the right state for adequate verbal communication.

Little did she know, Sasha was grappling with her own internal dilemma. Her girlfriend had said the three magic words anyone yearned to hear from someone they truly cared about.

Yet she couldn’t say them back.

It wasn’t because she didn’t feel the same way. By god, she loved Charlotte more than she had ever loved anyone else. They’d been official for all of a week, yet she already felt an all-encompassing love far more powerful for the gorgeous amazon cradling her than she had in the past for partners she’d spent years with. 

She felt it, so why couldn’t she say it?

Because saying it was terrifying, even if Sasha couldn’t put her finger on why it was such a scary prospect. She didn’t think of herself as a coward, yet this was one hurdle she wasn’t ready to overcome just yet.

As Sasha drifted off to sleep, calmed by the presence of being in her girlfriend’s protective arms, Charlotte was wide awake.

This wasn’t right. Sasha didn’t deserve to be at the mercy of her trauma-fuelled nightmares. And in the morning, she was going to do what she should have done right at the start.

“Pass me the quantum spanner.”

“You mean this thing?”

“No Becky, that’s quite clearly a monkey wrench.”

“I knew that, I was just testin’ you. 10/10 for TARDIS engineering, Doc!”

“It’s not too late to take you back to Earth, y’know?”

“Who would keep yer ego in check then? You’d be lost without a Guardian of the freakin’ Galaxy by your side.”

“You haven’t even shot that movie-“

“Not yet. You said it yerself, Doc,“ Becky interrupted, a smug grin on her face.

Bayley sighed affectionately at the banter as she watched the assisted TARDIS tinkering going on. If she could call it ‘assisted’. It was more of Becky deliberately antagonising the Doctor and enjoying the hell out of it. Never a dull moment aboard the TARDIS, with such energetic personalities. It was good that the Doctor happily went along with it, seeming to get a kick out of his companion keeping him on his toes.

“Honestly, you two idiots are too much,” Bayley spoke with teasing affection.

“All in good fun, Bay,” the Doctor grinned.

As Charlotte stepped into the room, she noticed the three pairs of eyes pick up on her presence, greeting her with enthusiastic calls of good morning.

“Hey guys,” Charlotte tried her best to smile, but she even she knew how her friends wouldn’t be fooled. They knew her too well, and would see right through, her lips pressing so tightly together they could break.

“What’s wrong, Charlotte?” Bayley could see just how worried her friend looked, and she had a terrible inkling of exactly what was wrong. The kind-hearted Latina’s eyes were shining with concern, so much so that Charlotte couldn’t bear to lose herself in them, squeezing her own tightly shut.

“Did Sasha have nightmares again?” Becky asked, voice uncharacteristically soft and serious. Eyes still closed, Charlotte nodded. When she opened her eyes again, she could see Bayley’s expression shift from concern to heartbreak at the confirmation of the pain her best friend was still going through. 

Looking at Becky, she could see her jaw was set, in a way she knew meant that the Irish woman was trying her hardest to stay strong. If it was a Dalek or a Cyberman upsetting Sasha, she’d think nothing of storming over and kicking the sorry arses of anyone who’d dare hurt her friend.

But Becky could do very little when the thing causing Sasha pain was her own scarred mind.

“She’s always so exhausted. Especially the past couple of days, she seems to spend more time cooped up than out here with us,” Bayley sighed in a mixture of sympathy and exasperation. “Why can’t she just have one night of peaceful sleep?” At this point, it was clear her rambles were rhetorical, getting out her anger at the suffering her best friend was enduring. She turned to shoot an empathic look at Charlotte. As upset as she was, she knew it must be agony for Charlotte, to watch the woman she loves go through so much pain every single night. “Where is she?”

“Still sleeping. Its rare to see her so calm these days, I thought I’d leave her to get some rest.”

Becky and Bayley nodded in approval, exchanging looks of begging each other to find something to say that might help, but both women coming up short, the only sound being the gentle hum of the TARDIS echoing around the space. After all, there were no words to fix something like this so easily.

While her two fellow companions were uncharacteristically quiet, Charlotte turned to look at the Doctor, who was clearly going through his own internal strife regarding Sasha. He had a duty of care to each of them. Of course he would feel troubled, when one of them was hurting.

“Doctor, is there anything you can do to help her?” Charlotte didn’t care how much her shaking tone sounded like pleading. She was desperate, and the Doctor had never failed her in the past.

“I’m afraid not,” the Doctor answered softly, his big sad eyes communicated just how sorry he was, like he was letting her down by not having a solution. “Believe me, if there was an easy fix here, I would take it, for her sake. But the human mind is infinitely far too complicated for that. As much as I know we would all gladly help her, unfortunately this is a battle that only Sasha can fight.” 

The answer was far from reassuring, knowing full well that Sasha was nowhere near removed enough from her abduction to beat back the demons inside her head. The Doctor could see his companions slip into despair before his very eyes. Fortunately, he knew exactly what needed to be said.

“Guys, listen to me. It will take time, but the trauma will heal.” That certainly got their attention, a more hopeful atmosphere filling the expansive console room as he gesticulated with a firm hand. “For now though, the best thing we can do to help is just to be there for her. We need to keep reminding her that she’s safe. That we’ll never leave her. Eventually, her mind will accept it enough for the nightmares to stop. But until then, we keep her distracted, keep helping her enjoy life and everything the universe has to offer.”

“Does that mean you have our next trip in mind?” Charlotte couldn’t help herself from smiling, the Doctor’s speech reinvigorating her resolve. 

“I do, as it happens. We need to keep our spirits up, and I know just the time and place for it! What you say to New York, at Christmas?”

In one fell swoop, the Doctor had turned their looks of bleak concern to beaming joy.

And if they knew their friend half as well as they thought, they knew she’d be in love with the idea too. At the very least, they’d help her enjoy it as much as they possibly could.

“Yes, Doctor?” Sasha called after hearing the knock on her door. She didn’t need to hear his voice to know it was him. 

By this point, she could tell who it was without a word. Bayley always knocked gently but firmly. Loud enough to announce her presence, but not obnoxious enough to annoy. Becky was the complete opposite, seemingly delighting in concocting a tune out of a door knock. While most of the time Sasha would huff and whip the door open to glare at the grinning Irish woman, she had just sat there and listened a couple times, to see how long Becky could keep going before waiting patiently. She herself wasn’t patient enough to find out. 

Although Charlotte scarcely bothered knocking anymore (considering it was technically her room that Sasha and herself now shared), Sasha could pick hers out by how brief and to the point her double knock was.

The Doctor however, nobody else on the ship knocked four times in measured succession.

Poking his head in, the Doctor smiled at Sasha looking at him in the mirror while she applied her make-up. “Can I come in?”

“Well your head already is, so I suppose your body can follow,” Sasha smiled at him, the Doctor grinning back. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Touch base, as it were,” the Doctor answered, gesticulating with his hands as he took a seat on the bed beside where his companion was seated. He never could keep them still.

“I’m fine,” Sasha really tried her best to show it, but the Doctor saw through her watery smile, lips pressed together just a little too tightly to be genuine. 

“Are you sure?”

“Never been better,” Sasha lied through clenched teeth, feeling her frustration bubbling up like a geyser threatening to burst.

“Sasha, you know you can talk to me-“

“There’s nothing to talk about! Look, I’m fucking fine, okay?! Now will you quit bothering me and go do something useful?” Sasha snapped, the brush she was holding clattering loudly to the table. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a slow, deep breath. It was done partially to calm herself, but also to ensure that no traitorous tears could slip from her eyes.

She really couldn’t put into words just how frustrated she was with everything. When she’d been rescued, it had felt euphoric to be regarded with such kindness by her friends. The warmest possible welcome back she could have received. After a week imprisoned and tortured - both physically and mentally - it had felt like she deserved to be shown some love. Becky trying to make her laugh at every turn, Charlotte seeming to steal a kiss at every possible moment, Bayley being more clingy and hugging than she had been even before, with all the ferocity of an over-eager koala bear.

But after the first few days of the preferential treatment not fading, it ceased to be kindness and she saw it for what it was.

Pity.

And if there was one thing Sasha Banks didn’t do, it was pity.

Her friends might think they were doing her a kindness, but that’s not how it felt. It was an insidious monster inside of her, whispering that she was too damaged to be taken seriously, to be treated equally again. 

And further pity only fed the monster.

The past couple of days, she’d taken to withdrawing alone to her room more often. Because she knew if she didn’t, she was at serious risk of blowing up on them, to use her friends as a receptacle for her frustration.

She frequently tried to remind herself that they were only trying to help. That they were trying to take care of her.

But didn’t they realise that Sasha could take care of herself?

It was humiliating. She just wanted it to stop, but she’d never been good at expressing her emotions. She’d always loathed the very idea of talking about her feelings. The thought alone made her sick to her stomach. 

Which was why instead of asking her friends to stop treating her any differently and going back to teasing and bantering, Sasha simply let her frustration build.

Until moments like this, when one simple insinuation that she wasn’t okay caused her angry tirade.

Her days were plagued by pity, while her nights were haunted by nightmares. 

“Hey,” the Doctor whispered softly. As soon as she felt him tentatively place a comforting hand on her arm, Sasha felt the anger ebb away from her, feeling mentally drained despite having slept for a good length of time. As she turned to look into his eyes, she found not pity, but concern for her wellbeing, and reassurance that she could trust him. “Sasha, you forget I’ve had over a thousand years to study human behaviour. I know when someone isn’t alright, and I see it in your eyes. Something is bothering you, I can tell.”

Sasha had been fully prepared to be evasive and slyly trick the Doctor into being distracted (easily done), telling her about yet another of his library-full of past adventures. But something told her that she needed to open up. If she could trust anyone in the universe with all her heart, it was the Doctor. Now that she was really thinking about it, she realised that he was the one person whose behaviour had not changed one bit since her return. Maybe he was a bit more patient than usual with her hot-headed tendencies, but that was it.

“Why do they have to treat me differently?” Sasha asked after a long sigh. “It’s not like I’m asking them to hold my hand everywhere we go, yet they’re treating me like a defenceless child. When we went to Apalapucia the other day, I literally had to tell Bayley to let go of my hand. And Charlotte, don’t get me wrong, its really nice and all, but sometimes when we’re in bed, I feel like she’s handling me like I’m made of glass. I can take her being rougher-”

“Uhhh, that’s not really-“ the Doctor started with a raise of his pointer finger, both visibly and audibly squirming in discomfort.

“And Becky, I really want her to start making fun of me again. But every joke she makes now is always too tame, much lamer than they used to be. I miss the banter, Doctor. I just want them to stop treating me like I’m damaged goods.”

“No one thinks that-“

“Then why don’t they act like it?!” Sasha shouted, hot, angry tears now streaming silently down her face as she finished her rage.

They both sat in silence for a few long moments, seconds that seemed to stretch the longer Sasha waited for a response, drying her eyes on her sleeve. 

When the Doctor finally spoke, his words shook Sasha to her core. “Do you not think it might have something to do with the fact that we can all hear you cry out at night?”

“What?” Sasha gasped, her eyes and mouth going wide at this sudden reveal. One which she had never considered a possibility. “You mean you’ve all been able to hear this whole time?” Sasha’s usually brash voice was small and fragile, finally in line with her true mental state.

“Sasha, the TARDIS may be infinite, but there’s no silencing pain that powerful. Is it really any surprise, when they can hear how not okay you are, every single night?”

In truth, it hadn’t even occurred to her that her friends were able to hear the audible cue of her nightmares. Now she knew why they seemed to smile extra bright, somehow knowingly, at her in the mornings, why they paid her that bit much more attention to her at the start of each day. And it finally made sense why there was always a tangible feeling of awkwardness in the air that none of them brought up.

The knowledge that her friends could hear her screams at night was so embarrassing that Sasha considered if it was possible to melt out of existence at that moment, resolving to never meet their eyes again.

“Sasha, I know its hard, but please tell me what your nightmares are about. I know you don’t want to, but maybe you need to.”

Normally, Sasha would give him a firm no. She loathed having to experience them the first time around, let alone reliving them again for someone else to hear. 

But she figured what the hell. After finding out her friends were all aware of her fragile mind, there wasn’t really much point in keeping her darkest secrets to herself, when it was all spilling out bare for them all to hear anyway.

After swallowing the lump clogging up her throat, she prepared herself to explain. “I’m back with the Master. Sometimes its two months, sometimes its two years. But every time, you never came back for me. And every time, I’m the one who helps the Master hunt you down and kill you all.”

The way Sasha was speaking, the Doctor could hear her self-disgust in her voice, as though she was deeply ashamed for her mind to be throwing her those nightmares, almost as if she was guilty for something she couldn’t control.

“Sasha, they’re just nightmares-“

“No, but I can feel it, Doctor. I can feel the sick satisfaction. When I’m dreaming, I feel happy that I’ve become a murderer and taken my revenge on the people I care about. They’re not just nightmares. They’re a reminder of why I should keep my distance. Because clearly there is something there inside of me that wants them dead.”

“You’re right, there is,” the Doctor said, calmly. Far too calm for his grave admittance. 

This was exactly why Sasha had refused to talk about her nightmares to the Doctor before, because she knew that when the Doctor found out about the festering evil in her heart, he’d declare her too much of a risk and put her right back on Earth, to keep the others safe. As dangerous as she felt she was, she was even more selfish. She simply could not be apart from her friends again. Charlotte, the Doctor, Bayley, Becky; all four of them were crucial to her wellbeing. They may not be related by blood, but their bond was unbreakable.

But the Doctor never ceased to amaze her with his kindness and belief in her.

“Do you know what it is that’s inside you? The Master’s leftovers. It might feel like they’re your emotions, but they’re not. Those nightmares aren’t random. They’re psychic projections implanted into your head, images of what the Master wanted you to become. He put them there in hopes they would help sway you to his side, but he didn’t count on just how strong you are.” The Doctor beamed at her. Not with pity, but with pride. “We’re all proud of you, Sasha. It’ll take time, but those nightmares will be purged, your brain is far too clever to let them stay. The others might be treating you differently right now, but its all still new. Give it time, and everything will be right as rain again.”

For once, Sasha had faith that things would indeed get better, inspired by her friend’s unwavering belief that her mind would fix itself.

A genuine smile parted her lips. “What did I do to deserve this?” Sasha chuckled, not bothering to wipe away the fresh tears ruining her makeup.

“Beats me,” the Doctor joked, before jumping to his feet and clapping his hands together. “But you’re worth every bit of it. Now, get ready and put a big fluffy coat on.”

“Where are we going?” Sasha answered with a far more steady tone of voice, already feeling better and back to her old self after the heart-to-heart. Not only that, but the promise of adventure worked very well as a way to distract her mind long enough to heal from being so raw and exposed.

“Christmas,” the Doctor grinned.

“Oh no,” Sasha groaned with a grimace. “I hate Christmas!”

“That’s okay,” the Doctor smiled. “I’ll soon fix that.”

Before Sasha could protest any further, the Doctor had ducked out of the room. When she turned back to the mirror and sighed, even she was excited at the prospect of her first Christmas with Charlotte, unable to keep the genuine smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Stepping forth from the TARDIS, the four women couldn’t help but beam at the wondrous sight in front of them. Snowflakes continued to fall from the sky, the beautiful white blanket contrasting with the bright neon billboards all around the surrounding tall buildings.

New York City. Times Square. At Christmas.

As her boots crunched to make a footprint in the snow, Charlotte looked up to find her girlfriend looking around, a sense of wonder parting her lips in a radiant, open-mouthed smile that she was sure was capable of melting every single inch of snow for miles with its dazzling beauty. With a black beanie perched on top of her head, strands of wavy blue hair spilling down from either side to frame her face perfectly, Sasha looked every much the gorgeous woman she was.

Finding her looking carefree, happy and wholly at peace for the first time? That was a special sight that Charlotte couldn’t bear to tear her eyes from. Even as she thought over the conversation they’d all shared several minutes ago.

It had been a somewhat awkward looking Sasha who had emerged into the TARDIS console room. When she had been met with a chorus of overly enthusiastic greetings, Sasha had held up her hand, all of them taking the cue to listen as she explained herself. The Doctor had encouraged her to open the lines of communication and simply ask them to treat her no differently than before.

Just like the Doctor had suggested, none of them seemed to have realised how much they had been doing so until Sasha pointed it out.

When Bayley’s hug was brief enough to show her love but pulled away before it reached the point of smothering her in it, Sasha knew she’d made the right decision. It didn’t take long for Becky to make a teasing joke with Sasha as the subject, and she’d forgotten how fun it was to verbally spar with her friend again. After challenging her buff girlfriend to an arm wrestling contest to test her theory, Sasha couldn’t be happier to feel Charlotte slam her arm down to hand her a quick defeat, rather than letting her win as she had the previous time.

Here, now, in New York City, looking out at a blanket of snow as the snowflakes continued to decorate her beanie and coat, Sasha finally felt like everything was as it should be once again.

“Oh man, its cold!” Bayley shivered, pulling her coat tighter around herself. 

They were all definitely dressed appropriately for the chilly weather. Becky had swapped her regular leather jacket for a white wool coat and Pearl Jam-adorned beanie combination, contrasting nicely with her orange hair. Bayley had opted for a black parka coat and a dark bobble hat. While Charlotte had chosen to wear an expensive-looking beige wool coat that ended at her knees, a black beanie keeping her head of blonde hair warm.

Even the Doctor had switched up his wardrobe for the cold weather, his floppy hair contained underneath a maroon top hat, while he had swapped out his eggplant purple frock coat for a maroon frock coat with black fur lining. 

“Really? Cold ya say?” Becky retorted sarcastically. “When we said New York at Christmas, I was expecting blistering sunshine, meself.”

Becky clearly should have kept a closer eye on the woman she was teasing. Otherwise she would have seen the snowball coming before it exploded into smithereens right in her face.

Gasping at the sudden influx of snow pelting into her face, some might have expected the fiery Irish woman to angrily scoop up her own snowball and return fire furiously. 

Instead, she devolved into a fit of giggles, truly enjoying the sheer act of being carefree. They’d spent a good part of their adventures ducking lethal laser shots, avoiding being exterminated by Daleks, hiding in the midst of battles perpetrated by Cybermen and Sontarans. 

It felt refreshing to harken back to simpler times, before they discovered the dangers of the universe. Where they could just be two women engaged into a snowball fight.

“You know, I honestly can’t tell what’s paler: the snow or Becky,” Sasha added, eager to get a rise out of her friend for her own amusement.

“Careful lass,” Becky scooped up a snowball to hold it teasingly. “White and blue go really well together.”

“Behave, you two,” Charlotte couldn’t help but grin at her two close friends, feeling very much the mother-figure corralling two unruly children. A thought which made her shudder in disgust, considering her the nature of her relationship with Sasha.

“Yeah, behave Becky! Otherwise I’ll set my jacked girlfriend to kick your ass,” Sasha teased with a bratty smirk, only to gasp at the teasingly light slap on the back of her head by said girlfriend. “Ow!” Before Sasha could protest any further, she was instantly quietened by the sensation of Charlotte rubbing a hand on the injured area.

“That means you too, babe. When did I become your personal bodyguard?”

“When you said yes to being my girlfriend.” Sasha then deliberately added a squeak to her voice, batting her eyelashes in a way that only invited Charlotte to tease her further. “I’m smol, aren’t you gonna keep me safe?”

Without any hesitation, Charlotte rolled her eyes before shaking her head and calmly stating, “Nah, I think I’m gonna back Becky.”

“Wow!” Sasha crossed her arms, giving her best offended pout as her voice returned to its normal, if faux annoyed cadence. “You’re definitely going on my naughty list.”

“Ooh, does that mean I’m in line for a-“

“Moving on!” the Doctor interjected deliberately loudly, seeing a way to stop the conversation going in the direction he wasn’t comfortable with. He’d spent enough time around the new lovebirds to know how much they loved to play up their flirting around company for the sheer fun of it. His four mischievous friends only giggled at his clear embarrassment, thoroughly enjoying seeing the Time Lord squirm in discomfort thanks to them. “New York at Christmas, definitely should have been on all your bucket lists. Oh, it is just lovely!” He gesticulated his point by outstretching the palm of his hands as he walked, to catch every inch of falling snow he could. “Look at the lights, look at the trees-“

“Look at the traffic,” Becky cut in.

“Well yes, granted,” the Doctor huffed. “But traffic means people! People laughing together, spending time together. And that means us too, gang!” He then threw his arms around his companions, doing his best to pull them in closer so as to reach each of the four pairs of shoulders, to surprising success.

“What did ya have in mind?” Becky asked.

“Could go ice skating?” Bayley suggested.

“Ooh, that sounds fun!” Sasha agreed.

“Babe, if we go ice skating, I’m gonna have to keep a close eye on you,” Charlotte piped up.

“To catch me if I fall?”

“No, so I can laugh every time you fall on your ass.”

“Rude!”

Charlotte couldn’t help her laughter as she pulled her pouting girlfriend in closer. “But you love it.”

“Maybe we can pick something to make these two slightly less nauseating?” Becky suggested. When Sasha answered back by sticking her tongue out, Becky responded by flipping her off.

“Very mature,” Bayley interjected wryly, directed at the pair of them.

“What’s mature?” the Doctor asked, having been too obliviously watching the neon lights up ahead flicker with childish enthusiasm to notice the crass behaviour.

“Sasha’s suggestion for what we should do,” Bayley winked smugly at the woman stopping in her tracks after being planted in the hot seat.

“Oh sorry, I must have missed it. What did you have in mind, Sasha?” the Doctor asked.

“I uhh, uhh-“ Sasha stumbled, looking past her friends’ traitorous grins at the rest of the square for something she could quickly offer. With time ticking, she went with the first thing she could think of as her eyes landed on the neon-signed stores lining the streets. “Shopping?” she asked tentatively, tilting her head and shrugging her shoulders.

“Oh, that’s a brilliant idea!” the Doctor agreed with an excited grin. “I suspect none of you have got your Christmas shopping in yet?”

“Considering it wasn’t even Christmas until you set a course for December, no,” Charlotte pointed out.

“Fair point.”

“I could do with some new boots,” Becky mused, seeming to find Sasha’s last-ditch effort to distract the Doctor an enticing idea.

“Oh I’m sorry, is the TARDIS wardrobe not good enough?” the Doctor asked with (mostly) mock offence. 

“Considering those clothes been on the racks for hundreds of years, yeah,” Bayley had to agree.

“Point taken,” the Doctor conceded. “I suppose it could do with a refresh.”

“But for now, I think some shopping could be therapeutic,” Sasha said, the murmurs of her companions wholly in agreement.

After a small debate, it was decided that Charlotte and Sasha would venture into the nearest clothes store together, while Becky and Bayley both found a nearby department store very appealing.

“Go on, enjoy! And don’t spend all your money on sweets!” the Doctor shouted after the retreating forms. “Or do,” he added, grinning to himself. “I love sweets.”

Bayley and Becky were enjoying the chance to finally kick back and casually browse the big department store they’d ventured into. After Bayley had dragged Becky away from the costume aisle (“No Becky, you don’t need that big ass crown and obnoxious fur coat.”), they were currently taking a look at the Christmas display, an assortment of baubles, crackers, and snow globes covering the shelves.

Bayley was trying to decide which snow globe would fit best atop the TARDIS console when she heard Becky’s voice chirp from beside her.

“Hey Bay, what did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle?”

“I don’t know, dude. What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle?”

“It must have rein-deer,” Becky delivered the punchline, guffawing and slapping her knee for comedic effect, evidently finding the pun hilarious.

Bayley was nonplussed.

“I don’t get it.”

“Dude come on, rein-deer? Rained…’ere?” Becky used her hands to gesture for emphasis.

“Oh, I get it!” The puzzle finally clicked into place, with Bayley chuckling. “That’s funny.”

“It’s not as funny if you have to explain the joke,” Becky grumbled.

“Maybe next time try a pun that’ll work on this side of the pond,” Bayley teased. 

“Alright, gimme your best.”

Bayley took a moment to think, before grinning as a lightbulb went off in her mind, clearing her throat. “I used to consider myself a Christmas tree hugger, but I decided it was time to branch out.”

Becky snorted. “Somehow I don’t think I’m in any danger of losing my spot as the pun-master.”

“That’s okay, I’ll stick to being a total badass,” Bayley joked. “You should follow my lead dude, I’m a real role model.”

The two friends chuckled before Becky sobered up. There was something she’d been meaning to ask her friend, but it had never seemed the right time. “Really though Bay, are you alright?”

Bayley narrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, your drastic change when Sasha got-“

“Don’t,” Bayley warned. Not harshly, but firm enough for Becky to back up a little bit. The day they lost Sasha was one of the most miserable of Bayley’s life, the following week a nightmare she’d rather not revisit for the rest of her life. It had changed her irrevocably, no doubt. She had recovered some semblance of her old self in the time since, her bursting joy regaining the need to hug again. But there was no escaping how much she’d changed, tempered by the harrowing experience.

Becky held up her hands placatingly. “I just want to check you’re all good.”

Bayley sighed, and Becky could pinpoint the moment her friend lost the grip on her bravado, shoulders slumping. It wasn’t exactly a well kept secret that Bayley had learned to put up her walls. Before Sasha’s abduction, Bayley had been a happy soul, always eager to negotiate with the nefarious aliens they encountered, rather than resorting to violence.

When the Ogrons stole Sasha, that’s when it had all changed. 

Bayley’s heart had grown an armour of ice, her mind laser-focused on getting her best friend back, no matter what it took. This was a new Bayley, one who wouldn’t hesitate to pick up a gun if either she or her friends were in danger. 

Yet even after they had gotten Sasha back, Bayley didn’t exactly revert back to her happier self. Her smile wasn’t as radiant, her eyes still having a haunted quality to them. When they were hanging out together and Bayley thought nobody was watching, she sometimes had a faraway look in her eyes, soon putting on a false grin the moment anybody looked her way, making sure nobody saw her momentary slip.

But Becky noticed.

“I…think so?” Bayley finally answered after a moment deep in thought. “I mean, I’m glad we got Sasha back. But I just can’t help thinking about how if I’d just learned to think with my brain, rather than letting my naïve heart dictate my actions, we could have been smart enough to avoid falling into that trap…y’know?”

“Bayley, no good will come thinkin’ like that,” Becky shook her head. “We got ‘er back-“

“But at what cost?” Bayley cut in. Not exactly snapping at Becky, but none too gentle either. “You can see it as well as I can Becks, she still bears the scars on her mind because of how much of an idiot I was.”

“The past is the past. What happened, happened. We might travel through time, but even we can’t change that. There is no way we coulda known we were being manipulated. No way. Okay?”

“Yeah, but-“

“No buts,” Becky interjected, raising her voice. “I thought you were smart enough to listen to what Sasha said about not wantin’ to be treated any different. Well dontcha think fixating on how you could have prevented her abduction kinda goes against her wishes?”

Bayley felt like she’d had a bucket of ice cold water tipped over her head, realisation slapping her in the face like a wake-up call. Finally, she could see how she had been perpetuating her friend’s spiral by succumbing to one of her own. But now that she’d been shown the way out, she could dig herself back out of the hole she’d climbed into.

A small grin began to tug at the corners of Bayley’s mouth. “When did you get to be so wise?”

“Whaddya mean? I’ve always been wise! Becky Two Brains, that’s what they call me.”

“Hmm, shame humans only use one tenth of their brain power then.”

“That’s a myth!”

“Sure it is, dude.”

Becky couldn’t help but laugh at the fun she was having with Bayley, always easy to slip into banter moments after a serious discussion. 

“Seriously though, I like the new you,” Becky said, and Bayley could tell she was speaking from the heart. “The old Bayley, she was sweet and still fun to be around. But you’ve got this edge to you now, a little bit dangerous. An’ I like that,” Becky’s lips curved into a wolfish grin. “I like a little bit more danger ‘cos I know it’s gonna help keep us safe.” She let the genuine compliment breathe for a moment before deciding to lighten the atmosphere with a joke. “Now I don’t need to worry about you runnin’ off to hug a Cyberman.”

Bayley laughed dryly. “Just like now I don’t need to worry about you annoying any Weeping Angels we run into so bad with your puns that they send you back into the past just to shut you up?” she teased, the two friends grinning at each other, grateful for the light banter.

“’Ey, I wouldn’t mind runnin’ into those dopes again. They may be made of stone, but they had some rock solid points.”

“Oh my god dude, shut up!” Bayley’s burst out amid giggles which she was unable to suppress, Becky laughing along to her own pun, happy to bring this side out of both of them again. They’d both spent so long dwelling and focusing on hardening themselves to stay the course against a universe seeming to be continually testing them, that it felt wonderful just to laugh again and forget their worries for the time being. Just for a day. Just for Christmas.

After a moment of uncontrollable laughter between the pair in the middle of the store, Bayley finally managed to make herself sober up enough to ask a similar question right back. “What about you, are you good, Becks?”

“Oh, I’m always good,” Becky answered. Far too quickly for Bayley’s liking, who narrowed her eyes as if to silently call Becky out on her bullshit. “Okay, I may have already needed to use my advice on myself first,” she admitted. “But really, I’m okay.” This time, Bayley did believe her. After all, it had only been the past few days when Becky had started making dad jokes again. That in itself was proof enough that the redhead had recovered.

But really, Bayley knew that her own transformation had been sudden and drastic, a direct reaction to losing Sasha. Whereas Becky’s shift in personality had started long before that, ever since she had her leg shattered on Earth by the Demon King. Sasha’s abduction merely sped up a process already in effect. Becky was always going to mature and learn to take life more seriously, whereas Bayley’s personality change was a survival mechanism. She knew now that her newly-built walls were useful when dealing with antagonistic foes. But around her friends, she didn’t need to keep them up. She could comfortably bring them down, and behave more like the woman she used to be at all times. She was still learning where to draw the line. But with her friends having her back, she was in a much better position to help keep them safe in turn.

With her walls down, Bayley had no problem turning to her friend and reaching to pull her into a tight hug. One which Becky allowed herself to melt into, the Latina always managing to be the glue holding them all together through the power of hugs. 

“Thanks Becky, I needed that,” Bayley whispered into her friend’s hair. 

“Don’t mention it,” Becky mumbled back, allowing herself to sink a little bit further before pulling away, hands still on her friend’s shoulders. “Really, don’t mention it. Yer not the only one who needs to maintain their badass aura ‘round ‘ere.”

“Badass aura?” Bayley snorted. “Really?” She then widened her eyes and opened her mouth, pointing over Becky’s shoulder. “Oh my gosh dude, is that a mint chocolate stand?”

“Oh my god, where?!” Becky fell for Bayley’s distraction, pouting as she turned around, only for Bayley to grab a green Santa hat and yank it down on top of Becky’s beanie. After a moment enduring Bayley’s laughter, Becky shrugged. “Jokes on you, green really brings out me eyes.”

Bayley couldn’t even pretend to be mad as she watched Becky turn to check her new headwear out in the mirror, grinning at her own ridiculous reflection.

One store over, the happy new couple were examining the clothing store’s offerings for new wardrobe choices to bring back to the TARDIS which weren’t moth-eaten or caked with decades-old dust. Sasha had quickly shot down Charlotte’s suggestion to try on clothes together (“Charlotte, if you take your clothes off in front of me in the fitting room, there’s a good chance we’ll end up getting kicked out of this store.”).

Right now, Charlotte was thumbing through a display of various different styles of hats, while Sasha was a few feet away, looking through the different sweaters available.

“What do you think?” Charlotte asked as she teasingly held up a reindeer hat. “Perfect for Becky, right?”

Her girlfriend giggled, the sweet sounds prompting a warm smile to cross Charlotte’s face. “For sure, you couldn’t get a better hat for her than that.”

Sasha turned to continue rifling through the clothes racks, noticing that Charlotte had suddenly gone quiet, eyes laser-focused without really looking the way she did when she was really thinking about something.

In truth, there was something gnawing at Charlotte’s mind. Something she seemed to think about every day now, a line of thinking that she needed to verbalise and see if she was the only one thinking about this stuff.

“Do you ever think about how much has changed?” Charlotte asked out of left-field, the deep line of questioning taking Sasha a moment to gather her thoughts. In fact, when her girlfriend seemed to tense up for a brief second, Charlotte wondered if she’d made a mistake posing it so abruptly. But she couldn’t help voicing aloud the thoughts living rent-free inside her head. And she figured if anyone in the universe could understand, it was one of the three women she’d joined up with.

“Sometimes,” Sasha finally spoke, dropping the sweater she had been examining to turn her focus to her girlfriend. “Lets face it Char, we’re completely different people to who we were when we stepped inside that blue box. Becky is more focused on keeping us all safe than cracking jokes. I honestly didn’t think Bayley had it in her to be such a badass, until you guys found me and I saw how much she’d changed. And you.” Sasha couldn’t help but smile with adoration at her girlfriend. “You make me happy just to be around. You’ve changed so much since we met, for the better.”  While Sasha’s words were heartfelt, she couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable about being so open, even with someone she cared deeply for. Luckily, she had a way to make the atmosphere lighter. “At the beginning, I mean, talk about a snob!”

“And you’re slightly less of an ass,” Charlotte couldn’t help but join Sasha’s chuckles, even as she playfully punched her laughing girlfriend’s shoulder.

“I did mean it though.”

“So did I.”

“Excuse you! Want to rephrase that?”

Now it was Charlotte’s turn to flash a loving smile at her adorable girlfriend. “You make me want to be better, Sasha. For you. Nobody challenges me to be the best version of myself like you do. When you got abducted-“

“Hey,” Sasha stepped forward and reached up to plant a tender hand on her tall girlfriend’s cheek. She could see Charlotte was dangerously approaching a road that led to her breaking down at the painful memory. “Lets not go down that route. We’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves.”

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut to compose herself before opening them and nodding. “You’re right. It’s Christmas.”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Bah humbug.”

Charlotte couldn’t help but laugh at how cute her girlfriend looked when she was playfully grumpy.

“Oh my gosh!” Sasha excitedly tugged at her girlfriend’s sleeve to get her attention, pointing towards the clothing displayed on a nearby mannequin. 

When Charlotte turned to see what had caught Sasha’s attention, she instantly saw what had got her girlfriend so excited, her eyes latching onto the serendipitous sight.

Charlotte grinned at the eager woman beside her. “This is too good to pass up.”

“Hey guys!” Sasha chirped happily to get her companions’ attention. 

The three turned to see Sasha and Charlotte striding towards them, the happy couple arm in arm. Suspicious for the cold weather, both had unzipped their coats. And as they read the lettering on their brand new t-shirts which they definitely hadn’t been wearing before they entered the store, it was clear exactly what they were showing off.

The blue fabric of Sasha’s shirt had an arrow pointing to her left, the words below reading “She’s my Queen”. Whereas Charlotte’s new t-shirt clearly came from the same line of clothing in a matching shade of royal blue, with an identical arrow pointing right, the bold white words underneath stating “She’s my Boss”.

“Waddya think?” Charlotte grinned cheekily at Becky.

“I think it’s way too cold to be exposing yerself like that, lass,” Becky tossed back.

Unfortunately, her dismissive response was ruined by Bayley squealing with joy. “That’s so cute! You guys are freaking adorable together.”

Sasha and Charlotte exchanged looks of disgust. “Adorable?!” they both questioned with gagging deliberately put on for comedic effect.

“I’m with you guys on that,” Becky agreed, smirking proudly. 

“Says the grown ass woman wearing a Santa hat,” Sasha sniped. “And of all the colours, you went with green? We got it, you’re Oi-rish,” she teased in a exaggerated approximation of Becky’s accent.

“No, I got it for you,” Becky answered with a cheeky grin, nodding to Bayley.

“Hey!” Sasha protested as Bayley swiped Sasha’s beanie off her head. In one fell swoop, Becky took her Christmas hat off and yanked it onto Sasha’s head.

“Yas, sleigh Queen, sleigh!” Becky exclaimed loudly, looking very proud of herself. Sasha pouted, crossing her arms petulantly while the Doctor, Charlotte and Bayley all laughed along. Inside though, Sasha was really enjoying the camaraderie, having a genuinely fun time.

“Aw babe, you look so freaking cute in that!” Charlotte cooed before turning to Becky. “Sorry, Bex, you’re not getting that hat back.” She turned back to Sasha. “And you’re definitely wearing that later tonight,” she said with a flirtatious smirk. “Come on guys,” she threw over her shoulder as she began to walk forward, the others following close behind. All except one woman, who couldn’t help smiling softly to herself, gently tugging the Santa hat down closer to keep it snug on her blue hair, before jogging to catch up.

Unbeknownst to any of them at that time, there was a marching band approaching, all dressed up in Santa garb, with masks and wispy long beards to match, hood of their festive red and white coats up. As they played ‘God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen’ on their trumpets and trombones, nobody suspected anything out of the ordinary about them.

“How can anybody not love Christmas?” the Doctor pondered aloud as he gestured out with both hands, pointing out the various Christmas trees dotted around, the merry crowds everywhere in sight.

“Maybe because its cold, the same music plays over and over again and-“ Sasha started.

“I love Christmas,” Charlotte interjected, and the fiery look in Sasha’s eyes softened in a split second.

“I mean, I guess it’s not too bad,” Sasha quickly revised her opinion, suspiciously acquiescent for a woman who never backed down from her beliefs. Though it wasn’t a mystery to any of them just why she was suddenly so agreeable.

“Real smooth there, lass,” Becky whispered to Sasha.

“Shut up,” Sasha hissed back, prompting a chuckle from the redhead.

“Speaking of Christmas music, those guys know what’s up,” Bayley said, gesturing towards the marching band. As the Doctor turned to look at them, his grin fell in record time, recognising those masks in a heartbeat.

“No…”

“See? Not even the Doc likes Christmas carols!” Sasha said smugly, her proud expression dropping when she realised his face was not one of distaste, but of concern. “Wait, don’t tell me the brass band are aliens.”

“Okay.”

“But are they?”

“Yes.”

“So why did you just say okay?”

“You told me not to tell you!”

“Doctor…” Charlotte growled.

“Technically, they’re not aliens. But they’re not human either. Oh, if I could just go one Christmas - just ONE - without bumping into those fellas,” he bemoaned.

“Okay, so if they’re not human or alien, then what are they?”

“Roboforms,” the Doctor explained before his face fell even further as he watched intently exactly what the Father Christmas-disguised robots were doing. “Uh-oh.”

By this point, the festive gear-wearing brass band had gotten close enough to the Doctor and his friends to make it clear who their target was, seemingly not paying attention to any of the other bystanders applauding and cheering them on, now that they had stopped playing and were lowering their instruments. The crowd of onlookers had no idea just how dangerous this brass band was. If they did, they certainly wouldn’t be standing close enough to be in the line of fire.

“When I say run…” the Doctor murmured, his four friends understanding exactly what his plan was.

The Doctor eyed the trumpets and trombones in his adversaries’ gloved hands, each one now wielding the instruments like they were guns, the cylindrical bores pointed squarely at the gang of five TARDIS travellers. 

“Appreciate the live performance boys,” the Doctor called out towards the six Roboforms. “If you take requests, I’m quite partial to some Shakin’ Stevens!” He was met only with stony silence from his robotic foes, in stark contrast to the energetic crowd murmuring and shouting out their own requests. All while the Santa-garbed robots stood perfectly still.

Just as the Doctor was about to open his mouth again, that’s when the gunfire started.

The crowd gasped as one of the trombones spurted out a flame, arcing wide towards the Doctor. 

“RUN!” the Doctor yelled to his friends as they all simultaneously dived out of the line of fire. Panic spread throughout the frenzied crowds, screams of horror filling the packed Times Square. Bullets shot from trumpets ricocheted off nearby cars and buildings, while the tuba flamethrowers continued to spit fire.

Unfortunately, their reckless firing had burned away enough of the several nearby colossal Christmas trees - each one dozens of feet high - to eat away at the trunks. Enough damage had been done until two began to topple over, collapsing directly towards the Doctor and his friends.

“C’mon!” Bayley urged as she grabbed hold of Sasha’s hand, tugging the stunned blue-haired woman along. Sasha quickly recovered, until she was the one pulling Bayley away from the danger. They managed to get out of the way just in time for a tree to collapse into the space where they’d just been standing, the sheer size of it blocking them off from the others. Seeing that they were now separated from their friends, they wasted no time making their way further back into the store which now had a window shattered from the tree branches.

At the exact same time, another tree began to fall. This time aimed exactly at the other three. 

“Move your ass!” Charlotte barked as she bodily pulled Becky away from the oncoming carnage just in time. The two women watched with wide eyes at the fallen tree, baubles still rolling around in the debris. Just like Bayley and Sasha, the two managed to get out of the way just in time. And just like their friends, they would have to find a way around.

“Doctor!” Becky yelled, despairing for a second.

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait for long before he shouted back. “I’m okay! Go on, find a way back round.” 

“Stay safe!” she called over the literal road block that was the absurdly long felled Christmas tree before her and Charlotte made their way through a back street to find a way around.

From his place of safety behind a car, the Doctor sighed, reaching a hand to his neck to straighten his bowtie. “Righty-ho then.” He leaned his head up for a split second before he had to duck straight back down, a bullet slamming into the wall behind the space where his head had been. 

Okay, so perhaps those bumbling robots hadn’t accidentally wiped themselves out in their zeal to eliminate him, as he had hoped.

“Oh man, I’ve missed this so much,” Sasha grinned as her and Bayley moved, hand in hand through the store. The Christmas tree carnage had taken out all the lights inside, meaning that they stuck close together, moving carefully with each other’s arm to hold onto. Something neither women ever had a problem with together. 

“What do you mean, dude? I held your hand yesterday.”

“No, dude,” Sasha playfully swatted at her best friend’s shoulder. “I mean us running away from killer robots.”

“Uhh, technically we’re running towards the killer robots-“

“Duh! Dude, you’re so nitpi-AHH!” Sasha squealed as she suddenly tripped over something in the dark, stumbling. She probably would have fallen over if it wasn’t for Bayley showcasing her surprising strength, reaching out to grab Sasha and pull her right back to her side.

“Careful there! You okay?” All hints of playful teasing had gone from Bayley’s voice, now a tone of concern. Her beautifully caring eyes shone even in the darkness, helping to calm Sasha’s suddenly racing heart.

“Uhh yeah, I’m good,” Sasha answered, pausing for a second as she cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Bayley began to walk, only to feel herself tugged back as Sasha didn’t follow, remaining in place.

“Really though, thanks for everything, Bay.” Though the intricacies of her expression were harder to make out in the darkness, Bayley could hear in the dulcet softness of Sasha’s tone exactly what she was trying to communicate. Thanking her for everything she’d done to try to cheer her up and keep her happy since she’d returned to them. Every time she’d been there for her, every time she’d sat and talked to her best friend at length about almost anything Sasha had to get off her chest. It certainly wasn’t a one-sided friendship, but Sasha had definitely had more cause to vent than Bayley.

“Of course,” Bayley replied simply. Yet the way she said it was far from simple. It didn’t come from dismissive courtesy, as an automatic response. Instead, Sasha could tell it was Bayley’s way of saying she’d do anything for her without a second thought. “You’ve been having such a rough time, you deserve to be happy, Sash. I love you, dude.”

Bayley’s words touched Sasha to such an extent, she felt a warmth flicker in her heart. So much so that she instinctually leaned to the side, nudging her head into Bayley’s shoulder and feeling her taller friend gently reach an arm around and squeeze her shoulders in return. While Sasha was struggling to say those words back to her girlfriend, she had no issue returning them to Bayley, knowing it was a different kind of love. Truthfully, she loved each of the four people she’d chosen to continue adventuring with.

“Aww, I love you too dude. I’m so thankful to have you as my best friend.” Sasha hated talking about her feelings, but now that she’d started, it felt like she couldn’t stop. Even as her voice started to break and emotional tears began to well up in her eyes. “I love that you’re always there for me, when I don’t even ask you to be. You always know when something’s wrong, and I-“

Bayley could tell when Sasha was about to break, and she knew that was the right moment to reach forward and pull her best friend into a soothing hug, rubbing at her back as Sasha buried her face into her shoulder, kindly saving Sasha the embarrassment of openly crying. By this point, she was pretty confident in saying she knew the younger woman so well she could read her effortlessly. She knew what Sasha was feeling without the prickly, sometimes emotionally constipated yet fiercely passionate woman having to speak it.

“I’ve always got your back, Sasha. You’re so freaking strong, you know that? What you went through, I’m so proud of you for just how tough you are. Hell, you’ve helped me grow so much since I met you.”

Sasha chuckled. “So I get the credit for turning you into a total badass?”

“Sure, dude,” Bayley laughed. “If you only knew.”

Sasha pulled back, looking into Bayley’s shining eyes like lanterns in the dark. “If you only knew,” she agreed softly, nodding. 

That one phrase of four simple words had become their mantra since reuniting. Whenever Bayley had asked a question which Sasha wasn’t ready to delve into, that was what she’d taken to answering with. A sign that Bayley read with great understanding each and every time. Bayley had even adopted saying the phrase herself, on the occasions where Sasha had asked something relating to the devastation she’d felt when apart. It was an understanding between the two that there was something too powerful to be unpacked, without outright asking for a change in topic.

“Now c’mon, stop being so sappy, Miss Badass. We gotta get back to help the Doctor.”

Despite Sasha’s urgency to focus on the task at hand, nothing could wipe the grin off Bayley’s face as she happily allowed Sasha to pull her along, the two best friends feeling their way out of the store to re-join their friends.

“This way!”

“No, it’s this way!”

“Dude, I’m the American in New York, and I’m saying its this way!”

“Oh, so you’ve just memorised every alleyway in the city, have ya?” Becky fired back.

“No, I can hear the Sonic buzzing.”

Charlotte and Becky were making their way down the maze of alleyways that would allow them a way around the Christmas tree wreckage and back to their friends. In truth, Becky had known the whole time which turns they needed to make. She had a particular purpose in mind.

“I still think we should go right.”

“Then why are we both going left?”

“Because d’you know what’s not right? Left.”

“Oh my god, did you seriously keep that up just for the sake of a pun?” Charlotte asked, unable to stop herself from giggling throughout, undercutting her previous annoyance, now replaced by amusement for her ridiculous Irish best friend.

“Totally worth it,” Becky grinned back. “You’ve had that look on yer face the past few minutes.”

“What look?”

“That ‘super serious angry Charlotte mode activate' look,” Becky’s voice went monotone in her best imitation of a typical robot voice in mockery, along with robot hands.

“Come on Bex, I do not do a look like that.”

“You definitely do, Charlie,” Becky gave that typical bratty smirk she did whenever she was deliberately teasing one of her friends. Rather than firing back, Charlotte couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the absurdity, which caused Becky’s smirk to turn into a wide smile.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Right, you say? Well don’t keep it to yerself, tell your friends!”

“What’s with you today?” Charlotte chuckled. “I haven’t heard you make so many puns in one day in weeks. What gives?”

“It’s Christmas. I figured we could all do with a laugh,” Becky shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’m still a badass as soon as I get me leather jacket back on. And look at what we have, is that our beloved blueberry over there?”

It was only then that Charlotte realised they’d come to the end of the alleyway, bringing them back to the street where they’d been parted from the Doctor. They could see him buzzing his Sonic down at a figure laying motionless on the ground. But that’s not what Charlotte was focusing on. Instead, she was focusing on the street at the opposite end, where she could see Sasha and Bayley approaching, completely unscathed.

“See? Didn’t even notice, did ya?” Becky nudged her. “I could see you were in yer own head. Don’t worry so much, she’s still safe.”

Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat before turning to Becky, gratitude shining in her eyes as she realised what Becky had done for her. Though she didn’t want to admit it, the beginning of their walk through the alleyways had stretched as Charlotte’s mind panicked, feeling that familiar fear of being parted from Sasha, fretting about the possibility that Sasha would be taken again without her around to keep her safe. As Becky had pointed out, there was no need. She hadn’t even realised how far her feet had taken her until now, bringing them to their destination. “Thanks, Bex.”

The two pairs of friends made it back to where they started more or less simultaneously. First, Bayley and Sasha were able to make it through the dark store and back up the street that led to where they’d left the Doctor. Seconds later, Becky and Charlotte emerged from a side alley for the five friends to reunite. 

Bayley, Charlotte, Sasha and Becky had all been ready for a fight on their hands against the killer Robot Santas.

Instead, they were surprised to find the robots strewn all around the street, completely unmoving. They could see a few of the masks having fallen off next to where they’d fallen, so they could see the robot behind the mask. Each one looked identical, a bronze shape resembling the rough outline of a human head, with smooth metal rather than any facial features. 

“Doctor?”

“Oh, you lot finally made it!” he grinned as he straightened up from where he had been removing one of the robots’ heads, wires exposed as he continued to buzz his Sonic at the inert, disembodied hunk of metal and circuitry.

“How did you stop them?” Sasha asked, looking around at the disabled robot army, courtesy of one man.

“Oh, easy. These lot weren’t much bother at all. At least this time they weren’t being controlled by anyone in particular. That’s the thing about robots. Very easy to sort out if you know the frequency.”

“Then why did they come for us?” Bayley asked.

“That was just software malfunctioning. I’ve had a couple run-ins with them before, and they must have stored me in their databanks as a threat. Abandoned on Earth without a primary control node, their tech must have reverted to their last target. Namely, me. Luckily, I’ve had previous. Just had to use the Sonic to deactivate them and bob’s your uncle."

"That seemed a bit easy?" Sasha said in confusion, unused to such a simple solution to the murderous robot problem, with no casualties and only property damage to evidence that they were confronted at all.

"Yes. Well, a good old anti-climax is good for the hearts every now and again," the Doctor answered, gesturing to the parts of his chest where both his hearts were. "‘Specially at Christmas.”

Before any of them had a chance to say anything else, a bell tolled in the distance, signifying that the clock had struck midnight. 

“It’s Christmas Day,” Bayley said, with a sense of reverence for one of her favourite days of the year.

"Merry Christmas guys!" Charlotte smiled a bright smile. She was so infectiously happy that for that moment, even Sasha was filled with joy and the spirit of Christmas.

"Guys, its our first Christmas together!" Bayley pointed out happily.

"Oh don't worry about that, I can take you to loads more-" the Doctor started, before the looks shot towards him made it clear that that wouldn't be necessary. "Yeah okay, not the point, gotcha."

“Merry Bex-mas!” one proud Irish voice exclaimed loudly in the night, being met with four groans delivered simultaneously.

“No, we are not calling it that!” Charlotte laughed.

“And just like that, I’ve had enough of Christmas,” Sasha made a show of groaning, though she couldn’t hide the tiny grin dancing at the corners of her lips. Christmas wasn't so bad spent with the four most important people in her life, Becky's ridiculous puns and all.

“Shall we skip ahead a bit?” the Doctor suggested, to immediate agreement, the charm of Christmas Day suddenly no longer as appealing after their run-in with killer Santa robots. Not to mention that there wasn't much point celebrating Christmas Day at one minute past midnight.

Soon enough, the five travellers were back in the TARDIS for a brief hop, the Doctor promising a destination that they would all remember.

The moment they exited the blue box, they were stepped into a large crowd gathered on a bridge, with two iconic landmarks on either end. On one end, the London Eye, glowing bright blue as a beacon in the night sky. The other, the Houses of Parliament, the spires bathed in a warm glow.

“What’s everyone here for?” Charlotte asked.

“Just give it a moment,” the Doctor replied, bringing his arm up to look at the watch resting on the underside of his wrist.

Almost as soon as he said it, the crowd began to chant a countdown that the five members of Team TARDIS couldn’t resist joining in. The second they hit zero, they heard the familiar chime of Big Ben ringing out. 

The sound of dozens of explosions were heard, booming for miles around. Before them, the whole area was bathed in spectacular light for a split second as an awe-inspiring display of fireworks erupted in the air, dazzling enough to light up the inky blackness of the night.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” the crowd eagerly cried out, causing each TARDIS traveller to turn to each other and happily wish each other the same in turn.

When that was done, Charlotte and Sasha naturally gravitated closer towards each other, wanting to ring the new year in the right way.

Sasha leaned up on her tiptoes, grabbing the lapels of Charlotte’s coat before tilting her head upwards. Charlotte bent down slightly, placing both her hands on her girlfriend’s cheeks before closing her eyes and leaning forward. Both sets of puckered lips connected at the same time, meeting in a loving kiss as they showed their boundless love for each other through actions, captured in a passionate liplock that stretched long enough for several fireworks to light up the sky behind them. Their three friends watched with wide smiles at the fact their friends were so happy together that they were glowing, and not just because of the light from the firework display illuminating them.

The moment they broke for air, gasping with wide, open toothed smiles full of love for each other, Sasha finally realised she was ready. She’d do anything for the gorgeous woman standing before her, and she wasn’t afraid of admitting that out loud anymore.

“I love you.”

Charlotte couldn’t be happier to hear those precious three words from her petite girlfriend, her heart feeling full to bursting at the outpouring of love. She knew more than most just how close Sasha played her cards close to her chest, even for her. The fact that Sasha hadn’t been able to say those words back had been a source of frustration for Charlotte, maintaining hope that eventually Sasha would be in a place where she could say it back. 

The time was now. And as the night sky was interrupted by cascading showers of light, the atmosphere filled with joy and cheer for a new year, she couldn’t imagine a more picturesque moment for Sasha to communicate her reciprocated love.

“I love you too.”

The Doctor, Becky and Bayley couldn’t help but watch the scene unfold before them, keeping quiet out of respect as their two beloved friends figured out just how much they meant to each other. At that very moment, it would be impossible to tell that Sasha was still dealing with the mental scars still fresh, yet healing. She'd never looked happier, gazing lovingly up at Charlotte, leaning closer to indulge herself in another energetic kiss of fiery passion.

It was incredible the journey all five had taken together. The change in each was striking, not a single one of them the same person they had been when the four women had stepped inside that wonderful blue box all that time ago.

The Doctor had learned what it was to trust that his companions could take care of themselves, letting go of the suffocating overprotectiveness born out of grief from losing Amy and Rory.

Charlotte had been taught how to embrace the joy to be found in life, learning to take risks after a life of playing it safe and perfecting what she was good at, no matter how mundane it was to spend her days running a gym.

After over two decades of being let down continuously, Sasha had learned to trust again, putting her faith in four spectacular people who she wouldn’t trade for anything in the universe. After so long of being a lone wolf looking out for herself, she had a family she could put every ounce of unconditional faith and trust in.

Becky had matured, making a concentrated effort to being more careful, not leaping headfirst into the first sign of danger if it came at the cost of her own wellbeing, learning to moderate her thrill-seeking ways and take life a little bit more seriously. Though of course, she could never give up puns.

Bayley had discovered a whole new side of herself she had never tapped into before. One which was harsh towards anyone who would dare threaten herself or her friends. She’d spent so long playing peacemaker, but that behaviour wouldn’t work against the hordes of nefarious aliens they seemed to encounter on a weekly basis. Not when she had four friends to keep safe.

The four women had come from different backgrounds and walks of life, but they’d all come together to form a family. One which could never be separated. They would be intrinsically linked forever. Even if one day in the distant future they decided to walk away from life on board the TARDIS, they would still find it impossible to not keep in touch.

But that was hypothetical.

They’d been through highs and lows, an adventure of self-discovery, abduction and manipulation. 

And they’d come out the other end of it still by each other’s side, gaining best friends and lovers. And if their unquenched thirst for adventures throughout time and space was anything to go by, they were far from done.

Charlotte and Sasha gazed into each other’s eyes, getting lost in the sheer adoration reflected back at each other for a long moment as a wide array of colourful fireworks exploded in the sky behind them. 

A new year meant new beginnings.