Chapter Text
Nick had crawled into bed, as he did he wrapped himself in his sheets and sighed softly. The whole day was left bittersweet. With feelings soft and sad, but in the way that you miss someone. Who he missed, he couldn’t tell, but he felt it. As a subtle pit in his stomach made him feel hollow, still him, but just hollow. As the pit settled in his stomach bittersweet and empty, he spent the whole day aching to fall asleep. Now the night had finally arrived he felt relieved.
He sighed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for exhaustion to embrace him into a gentle rest.
And it did, the night sky held him and brought him where it was the two of them. A pool of ink, sky of midnight, stars hidden away in space. He smiled softly and opened his eyes slowly.
His arms were empty.
Void of warmth.
He was alone.
Karl was gone.
Gone.
"Karl.." Nick said softly, voice choking as his eyes glazed over. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no." He desperately looked around for Karl, for something, a sign, the stars, multicolored nails, and a mop of brown hair paired with grey eyes, spectrums of emotion. But there was nothing, no one. He curled up, hands in his hair, collapsing into himself. He was nothing but a filler in space. The dot at the end of a sentence of everything he loved.
The void once again turned cold.
Through hiccups and sobs he finally said it, "I love you, Karl."
But only the midnight heard him, with no remorse. Washing over him in waves of shadow.
Nick opened his eyes, in a bed that had never felt so cold. Early did the sun rise as tears rained down his face collecting in his waterline and streaming down gently down the curve of his cheek taking with them, memory.
Nick touched his face softly and looked with eyes half open at the glisten of tears on his fingertips in morning light.
"I was crying..?" He whispered to himself. "Why..?"
He slowly went to push himself up, but he couldn't find the power. His whole body felt tired and heavy. So he laid there, and laid there, and laid there. With soft sadness that consumed him. From birdsong and early rays, to the bright sun and gentle breeze, orange hues that bleed into ink skies. And he laid.
Staring out the window at nothing, clouds and tree leaves, and then.. multicolored bubbles floated by and for some reason he couldn't stop crying. The tears broke into sobs and he clung tightly on to his blanket curling up and shaking.
He never was a crier, but today, he acted less like himself than he ever has, but more like what he had always felt like. Like a distant memory.
A soft knock came from the door.
"Nick..?" Clay said gently through the door. "Are you okay, man?" He slowly opened the door, "I wanted to give you some space, but you're really starting to worry me."
Nick looked up at him with tear stained cheeks. "I'm fine.. I really don't know what's wrong.." He said slowly, wiping his eyes quickly with his sweater sleeve. He took a deep breath and finally managed to push himself up.
By this point Clay had taken a seat on the edge of his bed. "That's alright, it's okay to feel like that you know? You can be yourself for years and still hardly know anything about yourself, let alone what you feel. If anyone knows that, I do. But what's important to remember is that you're not alone. Sometimes talking it out helps. Come on, I have an idea." He got up and offered Nick a hand.
Nick took his hand and heaved himself up. "God, I hate that you always know what to say." He said with a sniffle and a sad smile.
Clay chuckled and wrapped his arm around Nick to support him, and the two walked. Out the door, into the night, with a sky that had such bittersweet familiarity.
They walked by streetlights with subtle glow, down the street and to an all too familiar little coffee shop. It was still open with the lights still on and an employee behind the counter, though no customers were there at the hour. Clay pushed the door open and it jingled behind them.
A smile lit up at the sight of them and clout goggles hung on their apron.
"Hey, George." Nick said with an awkward laugh, slightly embarrassed by his messy state.
"Hey Sap-" George said a slight question in his tone, with the comfort of a nickname for him shared by just the three of them. "Hey Clay" His eyes went softer staring up to look at his idiot friend.
"Hey, George, can I talk to you for a second?" Clay said, motioning him to the side.
Nick slowly walked to the nearest table to the door and sat down, his body still fatigued.
Mumbled conversation across the room was shared by the other two. Most of which he couldn't hear but the end. "Don't worry about it, I'll close up, thanks George." followed by a kiss planted on George's forehead. George smiled gently and nodded then went and grabbed his sweater and belongings and headed out the door. With a quiet, "I'm sorry, Sap" as he left, door closing with another jingle.
Nick's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "What?"
Clay sat down with a cup of coffee from what was left in the pot that he grabbed as George was leaving.
"What did you tell him??" Nick asked exasperated.
"Look, Nick, I'm sorry you were broken up with. But, look." Clay started.
"What!? Clay that's not even what this is-" He quickly interrupted.
"You don't have to lie to me, dude, we've been friends too long for that-"
"I'm not-"
"Oh- so wait- was it a hookup or something then-"
"What the fuck are you on about man- where did you get this shit from??"
"I- oh- well I just assumed after the whole train station boy who 'coincidentally' showed up here too- that I don't know, something was up.." Clay slowly trailed off.
As if on cue a jingle sounded at the door. As a familiar mop of brown hair slowly walked in.
"Hi- sorry- I, uh, couldn't tell if you were closed." Karl said sheepishly.
Nick abruptly stood up, "Karl-"
"Nick-" Karl lit up, then let out a bubble of giggles noticing Nick's minecraft diamond themed pajama pants.
Nick's face quickly went red and he wrapped the blanket that was around his shoulder tighter around his body.
Karl ran his fingers through his hair and grinned, "So, wait, are you closed..? Cause- well" he looked back down at Nick's pajama pants.
"No- I mean- can I help you?" Nick said quickly. Shuffling behind the counter.
Karl giggled again, "You don't have to I just, uh, well I came to see you, actually." his face tinted.
"M-me?" Nick repeated.
"Yes. You."
Nick gulped and messed with the edge of the blanket around his shoulder.
"Do you think you could talk outside, I still have to close up-" Clay said before Nick could speak.
"Oh, uh, yeah, yes-" Karl said and met Nick's eyes, then broke away to begin to head out the door.
Nick began after him, shooting Clay a look as he did. To which Clay just chuckled and mouthed, "You can thank me later".
Nick was then met by a cool breeze and a jingle behind him. Karl was already knelt by a bed of forget me not flowers smiling at them.
"So, you wanted to see me?" Nick said slowly.
"I did.." He said immediately going red. "Actually, you know what- nevermind." He quickly said getting up and dusting himself off, "It's late, just forget it." he finished fiddling with a ring as he had spoken.
Nick was silent, just staring.
Karl laughed nervously then gave a small wave and began walking off.
Nick's heart pounded into his head. Which made no sense, he hardly knew the guy. He didn't even know his last name. But:
"Karl" He blurted out.
Karl stopped short in his tracks. A little cliche wasn't it? He smiled softly.
"The stars are out," Nick said.
Karl laughed, "aren't they always?" turning to face Nick from across the street.
"eísai ómorfos” He said quietly.
"What- what does that mean?" Karl said, walking over to him.
"It, uh, means the stars are pretty." Nick quickly said.
"No it doesn't.." Karl said, and his eyes went wide.
As if everything in the universe in that moment fell into place, what once was written as a period of morning sunbeams turned into a comma built by stars that granted their soul with what it desired. As Nick faltered followed by wide eyes. Soul's of stardust, found memories of what they finally understood as love.
"Jacobs?" Nick whispered.
"Armstrong-" Karl whispered.
Turns out the universe is love. A love bathed in sunlight. Because, the sun is also a star. They were the light, the dark, the universe, and they were love.
-
the end.