Chapter Text
Everything goes well for approximately an hour, and it’s the hour the four of them spend in the car on the way to the forest house Seokmin has rented out for them. He, Hansol and Chan meticulously plan how long Hoshi will be there for, and at what point Seungkwan will show up and how, all the while Hoshi sticks his head out of the window like a dog or extends a stretchy limb to play with the car radio and air conditioning buttons. Seungkwan knows Hoshi is not listening at all, but somehow doesn’t feel too concerned about it. He blames it on Hoshi’s emotional influence, but he can’t help but look forward to the trip now, to spending six days on holiday in the middle of nowhere with all the closest friends in his life. They’re going to have so much fun celebrating his two best friends turning a year older, and celebrating the younger six transitioning from college into adult working lives. The thought keeps him optimistic the whole time they’re travelling, excited for the time away from home.
And then they arrive.
Hoshi takes over their main body without warning, but it’s what they’d agreed on, so Seungkwan only feels a dull sort of resignation. It soon brightens into a warmer feeling when they spot Seokmin, though, stood at the door and waving at them enthusiastically. It looks like Minghao is there too, stood cooking something and watching them approach from the kitchen window, and Junhui too, who can be heard speaking rapid mandarin from somewhere further in the house.
They approach Seokmin with single-minded focus and sweep him into a strong hug, Seokmin laughing in surprise as the near-stranger grins up at him with a little giggle, but he’s so good natured he doesn’t pull away or seem uncomfortable. Chan must’ve given him a heads up that Hoshi would be there, but Seokmin looks genuinely happy to see him again.
“You guys found the house!” he says, releasing Hoshi to pull Hansol into a tight hug. “I’m so glad! Where—is Seungkwan here?”
Seungkwan watches Seokmin through Hoshi’s eyes and feels his chest swell, heart almost bursting at the fact that Seokmin thought of him first, is looking for him almost immediately.
“Oh, Seungkwan-ah will be here soon,” Chan says, waving Seokmin aside to step into the house, breezing past Seungkwan’s absence to greet Minghao in the kitchen. “He was having some, you know, bowel issues. He should be fine by tomorrow.”
Seokmin’s face falls completely, and Seungkwan’s heart with it. “Oh no! Was he really unwell? Does he need someone with him?”
“No, he’s—” Hansol starts, but is cut off by Hoshi’s enthusiasm. Seungkwan can feel a pushing sensation oscillating between him and Hoshi, and it’s only as they start to speak does he realise he’s the one doing the pushing, pushing to be out, to greet Seokmin—
“I’m with him!” Hoshi announces brightly. “He loves you and wants to say hello!”
Hoshi reels back into Seungkwan so fast it leaves all four of them stunned silent for a second, leaves Seungkwan standing there motionless in front of them, staring Seokmin straight in the face when he starts screaming. Minghao comes running in from the kitchen, face taught with concern, and Junhui can be heard skipping down the steps two at a time behind them. Seungkwan just stares at Seokmin in shock, and Seokmin stares back at Seungkwan, and Hansol remains unmoving and uncertain between them. Chan is the only one in action, trying to speak louder than Seokmin’s screaming, telling him it’s okay, it’s just Seungkwan, look, they’ll explain everything!
“Explain what?” Minghao asks, frowning as Seokmin’s screams lessen to little whimpers, he and Seungkwan still staring each other down without daring to move. Seungkwan is scared he’ll set him off again if he so much as twitches.
“What’s going on?” Junhui asks, in good spirits despite the scene in front of him. “Is there a spider? I can get it!”
Hoshi has gone awfully quiet in Seungkwan’s mind, and he can tell from the waves of unease rocking through them that Hoshi wasn’t prepared for such a reaction. Seungkwan was prepared for the reaction, just not the very sudden reveal.
So much for a relaxing getaway.
“Yes, a spider,” Chan says, fake laughing and hitting Minghao on the shoulder very uncharacteristically. “Don’t worry! I’m pretty sure it’s gone. Come on,” he says, pushing Seokmin forwards, and Seungkwan steps back quickly enough to let them both out the front door.
“Hoshi—Hoshi was there, he melted—” Seokmin is muttering, and Chan slams the door shut behind them. It’s made of glass, so Junhui, Minghao and Hansol continue to stare out after them.
“It’s time to find a calming place in the woods and explain some things,” Chan says brightly. “Come on, Hyung, put your shoes on, that’s right!”
“I told you guys this wouldn’t work,” Seungkwan says faintly. He can see everything slipping away in front of his eyes—his trip, his friendships, his potential future relationships—“I told you, Lee Chan—”
“Patience,” Chan orders, keeping both hands on Seokmin’s arms as he leads him down the steps. “Come on.”
Seokmin keeps glancing back at him as Seungkwan trails behind him and Chan, the two of them not stopping until they come to a collection of rocks set beside a gentle stream, Chan carefully seating Seokmin on one of them. He looks uncertain and uncomfortable there, but doesn’t move as if he’s going to run away. He does keep his eyes on Seungkwan like he’s never seen him before, like he’s a wild animal he needs to make sense of before making any sudden movements.
This is why you need to give me warning about things you want to do. So I can give other people warning. This is what happens when you live our life on your own terms and no one else’s.
I don’t know what I did wrong, Hoshi tells him, and Seungkwan can feel that’s only partially true. He liked me before.
People are scared of what they don’t understand. He thought he understood what you were before, but he doesn’t now.
It’s why we have to let him understand. If you won’t even try, how can he ever be ours? To have and to hold?
Will you shut up about that? Marriage is so, so far off the table now.
“Seungkwan-ah,” Chan’s voice says, and Seungkwan blinks. The other two are staring at him. “Do you want to introduce Hoshi properly, or shall I?”
“I’m not sure I want to let him out again. He’s grounded for the rest of the day.”
Chan shoots him a look. “Just the day? You’ve really gone soft on him.”
Seungkwan sighs. “He meant well.”
“He always does.”
“Hey,” Seokmin says, clearing his throat when it comes out broken. “Just—just what’s going on here!”
“You met Hoshi,” Seungkwan says, balling his hands awkwardly in his jacket pockets. “You met him before, right? You didn’t think it was weird when he appeared and I disappeared so quickly in the dessert shop?”
Seokmin makes a few aborted noises in his throat. “But—how—what—you were in the toilet then! He was just—”
“I was only in the toilets after Hoshi walked us in there,” Seungkwan says, morosely. “He’s part of me, see? Can’t physically separate from him.”
“He’s an alien,” Chan says. “That’s the bit Seungkwan unhelpfully skipped over, but Hoshi is an alien, and he’s living with Seungkwan now. And Hoshi is nice! You don’t have to worry about him, he just wanted to join us on the trip.”
“Alien?” Seokmin says, very pitched, very loud. “Where did you get an alien?”
“From a cat,” Seungkwan says.
Chan waves his hands. “The meteor crash in the Yellow Sea last month, remember that?”
“Uh-huh?” Seokmin sounds like he knows, but wishes he didn’t. “You got him from space?”
“Where else are aliens from?” Seungkwan asks.
You call it ‘space’ like it’s all one place, Hoshi grumbles. I’ll have you know space is very diverse.
“I’m sure it is,” Seungkwan sighs. “Space where your people are called Klyntar and your planet is called Klyntar. Very diverse, I can already tell there’s so much range.”
You have much more emphasis on language on this planet. Don’t get big-headed about it.
“What’s he doing?” Seokmin asks, somewhere vaguely in Seungkwan’s peripheral.
“Sometimes he forgets we can’t all hear Hoshi too,” Chan says, apologetically. “Listen, other than the alien stuff, and Seungkwan talking to himself sometimes, there’s really nothing new here! You don’t need to panic, okay? Seungkwan doesn’t want to tell anyone so soon, so please don’t say anything yet. We can still enjoy our trip, right?”
“I can go home if you want,” Seungkwan says despondently, even as Hoshi screams NOOOO in his head. “I really don’t want to ruin your trip, Hyung.”
“You—it’s not—no, don’t go,” Seokmin says, standing in one movement only to pause again, unsure. “Sorry, I just—I just need to get used to this, I don’t want you to leave! We’ll—I’ll get over it, okay, I’m sorry for screaming at you, Kwan-ah. And Hoshi. Do you—how do I talk to both of you?”
“Just talk to me how you usually would, it’s okay,” Seungkwan says, heart skipping a beat. He can still taste fear on his tongue, and he’s so afraid Seokmin will never look at him the same way again, but at least he gets to stay. At least Seokmin is talking to him.
“Are you sure? Is Hoshi listening?”
“He always is.”
“Well, okay then.” Seokmin straightens out his shirt a little and holds a hand out to Seungkwan, who looks down at it, baffled. “Welcome, Hoshi.”
Seungkwan takes his hand, shakes it. Then Seokmin pulls him into a surprise hug.
“And welcome, Kwan-ie.”
They pull apart, and Seungkwan almost doesn’t have the words to say. “Just like that? You’re going to accept what Chan is telling you?”
Seokmin laughs weakly. “I think my heart isn’t going to stop racing for the rest of the day. You should’ve broken it to me better! But if you guys say it’s okay, then—then I trust you.”
“Sorry about that, Hoshi just gets excitable,” Chan says, but there’s a smile in his voice, and he leans forward to speak pointedly over Seokmin’s head. “I told you it would be okay!”
“Actually, it was Seungkwan’s fault,” Hoshi says with his mouth, and Seungkwan slaps a hand over it.
Idiot!
You started it!
“Huh?” Seokmin startles.
“Oho?” Chan says, eyes sparkling.
“It was instinct, I just wanted to say hi to Hyung, okay? I wasn’t pushing that hard, Hoshi deliberately let me out.”
“Because you love me?” Seokmin asks, cracking a smile out now.
“You can disregard everything Hoshi has ever said and ever will say to you, Hyung, just to let you know. Three weeks of this and he still doesn’t know how to act like a reasonable person.”
“Okay,” Seokmin says, like he doesn’t really believe it, and Hoshi preens in his mind. “Not like he’s inside you right now, or anything.”
“You aren’t allowed to say it like that!” he says, pointing at Seokmin. “It’s banned!”
I thought it was banned only for me?
“For all of you!”
“Okay, okay!” Seokmin says, acquiescing now. “Whatever you want!”
He would say yes if we proposed right now, Hoshi supplies, and Seungkwan turns to leave the conversation.
No, he definitely would not. You really need to learn to read a room, or at least trust my judgement.
“We’re carrying on with the day like nothing happened now, okay? As far as everyone else is concerned, Hoshi couldn’t come on the trip.”
But I want to hang out with Seokmin!
You might have another chance later. If you’re good.
Everything I do works out good. Open your eyes!
You’re a walking disaster, and I am all of your impulse control.
“Don’t I get to meet him properly?” Seokmin asks, and Seungkwan turns to level him with a stern look.
“Don’t you start too. I’ll room with you and you can meet him later tonight, okay? I’m not having another peep out of him today.” I meant it when I said you’re grounded. I’m going to have some nice conversations with my friends for the rest of today, you understand?
Hoshi doesn’t sound too put out about that. I’ll finally get to meet Jeonghan! And Jihoon!
“Sounds good to me!” Seokmin says brightly, and Seungkwan feels the whiplash of how fast his mood has changed. Hansol was fairly neutral when he’d come out to him about Hoshi, and though Chan is the most invested in all this, he was never delusional enough to believe it was anywhere in the realm of comfortable and convenient for them. Seokmin, on the other hand, has done the full range from being close to hysterics to becoming excited about it in under ten minutes.
“Okay, then,” he says, shooting him a look. “Don’t be too happy about it.”
“Aw, Seungkwan-ie, you know you’re still my favourite!” Seokmin laughs. “You don’t need to be jealous!”
We’re his favourite, Hoshi sighs happily.
“You missed the point,” Seungkwan mutters, waving his hand to dismiss them both and skipping back up the steps to greet Minghao. Behind him, Seokmin and Chan stand outside for a few minutes more and talk in low voices that even Hoshi can’t hear. He pretends that his ears aren’t burning when they come inside, and they all carry on as if everything is normal, as if Seokmin doesn’t know anything about the crazy little alien inhabiting his body.
-
Jeonghan arrives next, much to Hoshi’s delight, Seungkwan straining to keep him contained as they greet him at the door. Seungcheol and Joshua have travelled with him, which gives them a table of nine people right in time to eat dinner together. Seungkwan pulls out the first in his list of excuses not to eat the meal with them—I ate right before I left!—and mourns the sight of the hotpot crowding the table. Jeonghan teases and jostles him for it, but Seokmin and Chan, the most likely to pester him about it otherwise, do their best to smooth over the topic for him. Seokmin doesn’t even really understand why he’s not eating, but Seungkwan can tell it’s deliberate help now that he knows about Hoshi. He’s probably compiling questions in his mind for later tonight, but the thought doesn’t unsettle him like he might’ve expected. Though he would never admit that Chan and Hansol were right, it is a relief to have Seokmin know. To have him know and not running for the hills is nothing short of a miracle.
They sit around the fire pit outside later in the evening, waiting for the final car to arrive containing Wonwoo, Jihoon and Mingyu. Wonwoo’s shiny Honda pulls up just as Jeonghan is standing to abandon them and take his four blankets to the warm indoors, and he’s gracious enough to turn on his heel last minute to greet them instead. Hoshi seeks out Jihoon immediately, so Seungkwan feels compelled to stand and hug him as Jihoon remains as stiff as a board against him. He has no idea why Hoshi likes him so much when he’s never met him before, but of all their friends to choose, he supposes Jihoon is one of the cutest.
He’s just nice!
He’s also very weirded out by us right now, so let’s stop squeezing him in three, two, one…
“What’s the special occasion?” Wonwoo asks, sending them a side-on glance. Seungkwan knows that really just means he wants a hug too, and leans in to give him one.
“I just haven’t seen you guys in ages! Or the other one! Where is he?”
“Mingyu couldn’t make it today,” Jihoon says, eyebrows still raised at Seungkwan. He turns to pull four bulging shopping bags out of the car at once before anyone else can come over to hug him. “His placement is going on longer than expected, he said he’ll come as soon as he can.”
Hoshi sinks down in his chest at the news. We didn’t get to meet everyone!
Mingyu will come, silly, he won’t miss it. We just have to wait a bit longer. Missing only one person is impressive for a friendship group this big anyway.
“That’s too bad,” Jeonghan says, shivering and not bothering to offer helping with the bags. “Shall we go inside now?”
“I’ll come in,” Joshua agrees, coming around the car to bring in the last of Wonwoo and Jihoon’s bags for them. “It’s getting too cold to be out here.”
There’s some puttering around as people greet Jihoon and Wonwoo and mill in and out of the house, settling in different places and splitting off into different activities now that there are eleven of them here. Seungkwan stays to watch the fire, because Hoshi is fascinated by the way it dances even if he doesn’t like the intense heat of it. They’re sat the furthest away from it, but his jacket is loose around his shoulders, neither of them bothered by the cold.
In the end, he’s left outside with Chan, Hansol, Seokmin, Jihoon and Seungcheol. He brings out his little portable karaoke machine to mark the occasion of their first night in the forest, and he and Seokmin sing a ballad together, and for the first time since receiving him Hoshi goes quiet by choice. He’s heard Seungkwan sing before, but not Seokmin, and not the two of them together.
You make nice noises on this planet, Hoshi hums into his ear later on, when Seungcheol and Jihoon are covering a rap track together, much to Hansol’s delight. Pretty.
“Thanks,” he says out loud, then bites his lip and hopes no one noticed. Music is one of the best parts of living, in my opinion. It’s what makes me feel like I’m really alive.
Is that why you like Seokmin so much? Because he can make music like that with his voice?
Seungkwan watches Seokmin over the fire. It’s one of the many reasons.
Seokmin looks over and meets his eye, gives him a beaming, beautiful smile. Seungcheol and Jihoon’s song comes to an end, and Seokmin claps, but doesn’t look away from Seungkwan.
-
They trek up to bed early in the morning, headed off unanimously after Seungcheol starts falling asleep into his beer, most of their older friends having come straight from work. Seungkwan follows Seokmin blindly, dragging his bags behind him, and doesn’t even register that the room they’re in only has one bed until he’s standing in front of it.
“Are we really going to fit the three of us in one bed?” he asks, a little surprised lilt to his voice. It’s amazing to him that Seokmin is even willing to share a room after today’s revelation, but to share a bed? Where Hoshi could hop over into his skin with no warning? It even makes Seungkwan feel uneasy.
Like I would do that. He’s not even compatible! I can tell.
I’m not going to lie, goopy, you don’t have the best track record with jumping into people without their consent.
I wouldn’t do it again! Not without good reason, at least!
“Three people, two bodies, one bed. I think that math works out, right?”
“If you say so,” Seungkwan says, suddenly feeling slightly nervous. “Is this really okay?”
Seokmin comes to a stop in front of him, face open and anticipating. “It’s really okay. I want to meet him. Your other half.”
“Don’t call him that. He already has an inflated sense of worth.”
“Then what do I call him?”
“Parasite? Soul-sucker? Slimy, goo-monster, significant bane of my life—”
“Hoshi,” Hoshi says from behind him, and Seungkwan turns to see him forming up into his human body. Every time he does this he looks more and more passably human, learning from those around him, but he never quite gets a hang of smiling in a way that doesn’t look too full of teeth. Still, compared to how sharp those teeth used to be, it makes him look like a baby to Seungkwan now. “Call me by my name.”
“Sure!” Seokmin says, voice pitched. “Hi, Hoshi!”
“Hi,” Hoshi says, also a little shy under the circumstances, but Seungkwan thinks it looks a lot more ridiculous on him. “You’re pretty.”
“Oh—um, thank you!” Seokmin says, surprised, but Seungkwan can tell he likes the compliment. He rolls his eyes, but can’t help but bask in his and Hoshi’s shared glee at the response.
“You say it,” Hoshi says to him, and Seungkwan snorts.
“No. You’re embarrassing us enough on your own.”
“But you think he’s pretty too!”
“Really not the point!” Seungkwan says through gritted teeth, feeling himself getting warm as he fiddles around in his suitcase, digging around for the pyjamas he’s already found.
“Do you two think the same things?” Seokmin asks, looking between them. “How do you know who really wants what?”
“We want all the same things. We are the same.”
“But… you’re still different,” Seokmin says, distinguishing between them.
“Yes, but we share everything. A mind, a body. My wants, his wants, what I can do and what he can do. They’ve all become one melting pot that is my life now. Sometimes he wants different things to me, but because he’s a part of me… they’re my wants in the end, too. Different, but still the same.”
Seokmin looks between them, wide-eyed, nodding slowly like he doesn’t really get it but he’s impressed all the same. “Chan has been sending me articles about the New York alien for ages now. I didn’t really believe it, but I thought it would be pretty cool if it was real.” He gestures his hands between them. “And it’s like this!”
Seungkwan sits on the bed to change his clothes and scoffs to himself. Even behind his back, Chan has been trying his best for Seungkwan. He’s going to have to buy him something nice to say thank you without actually saying thank you. “It’s Chan’s fault in the first place, but I’m getting used to it now. Hoshi hasn’t been able to find anyone else compatible with him, so if he has to stay with me… maybe it can work, you know?”
“I think it’s great!” Seokmin says, earnest. “Imagine what you can do with a combined brain! Combined body!”
“This is what I’m saying!” Hoshi whines, and Seungkwan shimmies into his shirt, lying back on the bed before Hoshi can get started. “He only wants to live a boring life, but together we could be so exciting! I can make him exciting!”
“I was already plenty exciting before you, thanks, and I could be again if necessary!”
“But now you could help people, Kwan-ah! You never know, Hoshi’s species might have the cure to cancer! I’ve read the articles, is it true you’re really strong?”
“Much stronger than Seungkwan!”
“How strong? Could you lift a car?”
“I could lift a car!”
“Don’t,” Seungkwan groans. “We’ve had this discussion already when he jumped us down the five floors of our apartment building and ran us through Seoul. I’m making the decisions regarding heavy lifting and athletics for the foreseeable future.”
“Wait, when was that?”
“I don’t like the way you remember that day. It was our first day together!”
“Yeah, and it was terrifying. Let’s not talk about it. Come on, come to bed, Hyung, aren’t you tired?”
“You can go to bed. Seokmin and I can talk!”
“Somehow, I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Why?” Seokmin laughs. “He’s funny! I like him! Shouldn’t we become friends if he’s always with you now?”
“He has no boundaries and access to the entirety of my brain. Sorry if I’m not jumping with joy at the thought of you two talking without me.” As he speaks, Seokmin turns the light off and comes over to the bed, only changing his jeans for soft shorts. When the room goes dark, it’s like a wave of drowsiness overcomes him, and he tries to figure out if this is Hoshi coaxing him to sleep or his own brain exhausted from the excitement of the day.
He hears more than sees Seokmin slide into the bed beside him, and Hoshi comes to join them too, half latching onto Seungkwan and half pressing against him. Being malleable, he fits himself around Seungkwan in the bed perfectly fine whilst keeping a fully formed upper body to lean into Seokmin. Seokmin giggles at him, and Hoshi laughs back, and Seungkwan feels warm with Hoshi draped over him. He thinks he won’t fall asleep, but then he does.
-
They split into groups again the next morning, with Seungcheol, Joshua, Wonwoo, Jihoon and Hansol taking advantage of a nearby kart racing track and heading out together after lunch. Minghao takes Junhui and Chan to prepare a traditional tea ceremony at the edge of the forest, which leaves Seungkwan, Jeonghan and Seokmin to take a walk into the trees together, trekking along well-worn paths to see the sun peek through the leaves. Jeonghan gets tired halfway up and tries to convince them to come back down again, but Seungkwan is driven by Hoshi’s desire to see the top of the slope where the forest peaks, and Seokmin is following by merit of wanting to talk to Hoshi some more. They eventually decide to split ways, and Seokmin barely waits until Jeonghan is out of earshot to start asking questions.
“How did you even get the name Hoshi? Why didn’t you choose a Korean one to fit in?”
Hoshi forms beside Seungkwan, beaming giddily at being given implicit permission to form with them again. He rarely gets out to see the daylight like this, Seungkwan usually too nervous to expose him to the rest of the world, but he’s generally content enough to enjoy life through Seungkwan’s eyes.
“Don’t get him started,” Seungkwan says. “He won’t shut up about tigers otherwise.”
“Oh, we already had a long discussion about tigers last night,” Seokmin agrees, and Hoshi makes a pleased little noise. “Your name is to do with tigers?”
“Yes,” Hoshi says happily. “But I want another one.”
“Why would you need another one?” Seungkwan grumbles. “The rest of us only get one, you know.”
“But I want one like yours! You both have S names, so I want one! And Seokmin thought I was Japanese, but I am not.”
“It means star in Japanese,” Seokmin says knowingly. “I looked it up after the first time I met you.”
“That’s still fitting for you,” Seungkwan offers half-heartedly. He already knows Hoshi isn’t going to let this go, can tell from the way their bond thrums with need.
“But I want one like yours!” he huffs. “For when you introduce me to everyone else!”
“When I eventually introduce you, in the distant future,” Seungkwan reminds him.
“But it will happen,” Hoshi insists. “And I will need one.”
“Well, there are lots of good S names! We already have a Seungcheol, though, so maybe not that one.”
“How about Sehun?”
“Stop that, Seungkwan, you can’t name him after an idol! How about, I don’t know, Sanghoon?”
“I’ve already heard one that I like,” Hoshi tells them, a little shyly. “Soonyoung.”
Seokmin beams. “It suits you! It’s nice to meet you, Soonyoung!”
“He named himself after an idol too!” Seungkwan accuses. “You don’t say anything when he does it!”
“What? Which idol?”
“I was watching Lion Heart stages the other day, okay? And Sooyoung really suited the concept!”
“And lions are like tigers,” Hoshi says, making a little paw gesture with his hands.
“I can’t believe this is what I have to live with,” Seungkwan says, but Seokmin is laughing at them both, and they’re nearly at the top of the slope, so it doesn’t hold much fire.
Hoshi—Soonyoung—shouts out loud when they reach the top, spreading his arms wide and scaring away the birds in the nearby trees. He hopes the tea ceremony crew can’t see them from here, and Jeonghan is far enough away not to question it, but he finds he doesn’t really care too much. That is one benefit of having Soonyoung ingrained into him—he eases Seungkwan up, forces him to worry less. He’s come to realise that maybe things won’t fall down around him if he doesn’t upkeep his image all the time, if he doesn’t live his days to the letter of productivity or perfect progression through life. Maybe he can call Seokmin pretty and not have it set the world on fire—maybe Soonyoung can be free in the forest, and no one will think too hard about it. It’s just them around here, the three of them and the peace of this place, a house so removed from the city he can’t even hear the cars.
“We really like you,” Soonyoung tells Seokmin at the end of his yelling, voice carrying through the woods, and Seungkwan immediately takes back anything he ever thought about Soonyoung having any semblance of chill. “And we want to be your boyfriend.”
“Is this your idea of romance?” Seungkwan asks, crossing his arms. “Standing in the mud after shouting in an empty forest? No build up, you didn’t even ask me—God, I’m so sorry about him, I’m trying to teach him to be better. You can pretend he didn’t say anything.”
Seokmin blinks. “Wait, really?”
“Yeah, seriously, pretend he’s not even there. That’s what I try to do.”
“No, I mean the boyfriend thing—if both of you want it—um, I would like that?”
Seungkwan looks back at him, and takes several beats too long to answer. No way.
“Yes!” Soonyoung beams. “Then we are all together now!”
Both of them look over at Soonyoung. “What?” Seungkwan says.
Seokmin gestures his hands “Wait, are you two…?”
“No!” Seungkwan says, as Soonyoung says,
“Of course! We are specially compatible! I am your soulmate!”
“Oh my God,” Seungkwan says, feeling like he needs to grab onto Seokmin so he doesn’t fall over. “You are so not my soulmate.”
“Yes I am,” Soonyoung says. “And Seokmin is our boyfriend! Can he be our soulmate too?”
Seokmin laughs, embarrassed, and Seungkwan kicks mud in Soonyoung’s direction. “Stop talking! You need to let me handle this now!”
“We’re handling it very well!” Soonyoung protests, but comes back to Seungkwan easily enough, nuzzling against the back of his neck right before he slips under his skin.
“Was that for real?” Seokmin asks when it’s just the two of them in the forest again, Soonyoung wriggling around in Seungkwan’s chest as he watches. Why would it not be for real?
“Like I said, he’s inside my head with all of my thoughts and none of my boundaries. It’s horrifying. I did—I was going to talk to you about it, but—yes, whatever, sure. I think you already know I like you. It’s madness that you would even consider dating all this—the two of us in one body—but if you really mean that...”
Seokmin positively glows the more he says, clasping a hand over his mouth as his eyes curve into crescents. “I would love to! Seungkwan-ah, I like you so much, I don’t know why we haven’t done this before now! And Soonyoung too, what’s not to like? He’s funny! And so cute!”
“I’m not so sure about cute. Do you know what you’re getting into? Are you really sure? If you need more time to think about it—”
“I don’t need more time,” Seokmin says, confident. He takes one of Seungkwan’s hands and squeezes it. “The three of us, we could have some wine later? Talk a bit, sing too?”
“What we did last night, then?”
Seokmin shrugs with a smile. “Sure. That was fun! Hanging out doesn’t have to be fancy when you’re soulmates, right?”
“Don’t,” Seungkwan says, but he’s so, so happy too. “I’ll take you on a proper date as soon as we’re home to make up for this. Whatever just happened.”
I made us boyfriends is what happened!
“I can’t wait,” Seokmin promises him, taking his hand in both of his as if he can’t bear to let Seungkwan go. Seungkwan clings back, and they walk back through the forest together hand in hand, not minding the February cold.
-
They stay in the house with Jeonghan for the rest of the afternoon until the kart racer team returns, then collectively pester Seungcheol into grilling dinner for them until he gives in. The sky is painted red with the sunset, and Hoshi loves the sight of it, has them pressed up against the glass to watch it streak the sky with colour. They follow Seungcheol and Joshua outside as they set up the grill, but don’t stop to help, walking out to the garden boundary instead and listening to the forest settle.
Wouldn’t it be nice to touch that?
There would be nothing to touch. It’s not like paint, it’s just the colours of the sky. It doesn’t stick.
No, but if we could touch it, wouldn’t it be nice?
I suppose it would.
Seokmin appears at their side. “Pretty, isn’t it?”
They turn to look at him, painted golden by the setting sun. “Soonyoung thinks it’s beautiful. He wants to touch it.”
“Bet he could,” Seokmin replies. “If he wanted to.”
How do we touch the colours? Ask him how!!
I think I already know how.
Seungkwan raises a hand to cup Seokmin’s cheek with one of his hands. At the end of this long green garden they’re just out of sight of the rest of their friends, but still within earshot.
“C’mere,” he says, and Seokmin smiles so brightly before pressing his mouth onto Seungkwan’s, the dying sunlight shimmering over them as they share a kiss. Soonyoung immediately wraps himself around the two of them, a tendril of his goo-form snaking up Seungkwan’s arm to run through Seokmin’s hair. It pulls them closer together even as they part from the kiss, giggling like children, then kiss again, sweet and innocent.
Ohh. The sunset feels nice. Can we keep touching?
Let’s take it easy, okay?
Don’t worry about that. Let’s just touch.
Seungkwan rubs his thumb along Seokmin’s hand, coaxing Soonyoung back carefully. Gently. We should savour nice things.
He is a very nice thing. Soonyoung winds back his hold with a pleased hum, retreating comfortably inside Seungkwan.
He and Seokmin withdraw too. “Touch the sunset like that?” he asks, coy.
Seokmin blinks for a second. “Well, I was actually thinking because he came from space, he could probably touch the sky—but no, yes, that was fine, very good, that works too—”
“Oh my god,” he says, giving Seokmin a look. “Are you serious?”
“About which part?”
He laughs in disbelief—he really is surrounded by the dumbest, bestest friends ever—and then there’s a cheer from behind them that interrupts the moment. They both turn to look back, but the noise has come from a number of their friends on the other side of the house, so there’s nothing see other than Seungcheol trying to crane his neck to see too. Still, Soonyoung starts wriggling around something fierce, making Seungkwan feel uneasy.
We should go and look at that.
Do you think it’s something bad?
Can’t tell yet.
“It doesn’t sound bad to me,” he says, taking off up the garden, Seokmin’s hand still in his.
“Is something wrong?” Seokmin asks, and Seungkwan purses his lips.
“I’ll tell you in a minute.”
They dip back inside through the back door, wind through the main room, kitchen and entranceway, coming back out the front door. There, lugging two bags behind him and a wide smile on his face, is Kim Mingyu, the majority of their friends huddled around greeting him one by one.
That’s Mingyu. Mingyu is…
“Mingyu!” Seokmin exclaims, letting go of Seungkwan’s hand to run up and meet him too. “You made it!”
Seungkwan follows after him, trying to understand the feeling of unease he’s picking up from Soonyoung. “What is it? Is something wrong with him?”
“I didn’t think I was going to make it this evening, but I didn’t want to miss out on any more time you guys were together, wanted to get here to countdown to your birthday tonight,” Mingyu is saying, speaking quick, smile never fading.
Soonyoung? What is it?
Mingyu is compatible. Compatible with me.
-
Seungkwan greets Mingyu in a daze, then follows after the others as they all traipse through the house into the back garden, now smelling of barbeque with the sun almost disappeared from view. Instead of making his way out the back door with them, he takes off up the stairs at the last moment, shutting them in his and Seokmin’s room.
“Soonyoung?” he says, when Soonyoung says nothing at all. He can’t feel him right now, can’t hear him at all, and it’s straight up eerie. Lonely. “Why are you clamming up?”
You only keep me because no one else can. You keep saying that.
“Yes, but you know I don’t really feel like that. You know how I actually feel. I’m not going to give you to Mingyu.”
You think I should stay because that’s what I want. This is how our bond works.
“Does it matter?”
I made it this way. I thought you would want yourself back, your full self.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he admits, and speaking it aloud breaks down a dam he was keeping up tight, building somewhere between where Soonyoung sits and his heart beats. “I don’t want to change again. It’s like you said, I’m so much more with you. I would be fine on my own too, I do believe that—but I’m choosing you, Soonyoung-ah. I want you to stay. We’re just starting a life together.”
Soonyoung hesitates again, an uncomfortable, foreign feeling. I rely on you so much. I always will. It is in my nature.
“And I rely on you too. But I want this.”
How can you trust what you truly want?
“Because I trust myself, and my mind. Wholeheartedly. Even if it might be different to what I would’ve wanted three or four weeks ago, I know it’s right. I wouldn’t give you up to someone else.”
Not even with the option right in front of you? You don’t want to try?
“No,” he says, firmly, but his voice hitches at the thought. “Do you—do you want to try? Someone else?”
No. I want to stay with you, and with Seokmin. I love you. I feel… myself, here. Because of you.
“Then stay,” he says. “I’m asking you to stay.”
Seungkwan feels warm all over, an overwhelming wave for a few seconds, and then he realises what it is. Affection, trust, hope, happiness—their confession resonating between the two of them, surging up, an endless feedback loop of love. He barely notices Soonyoung forming for a few seconds, taking up a body of his own beside Seungkwan, hand on his shoulder and smile on his face.
“I will stay, he says, leaning in close. “Because I am yours. And you are mine.”
He doesn’t expect it when Soonyoung kisses him, but he does relish in it—he feels softer than he usually does, like he’d done his best to soften out specifically for this. The kiss makes the same warm feeling ring out between them, something close to exhilaration, and Soonyoung’s other hand comes up to cup his face. Seungkwan realises he’s copying what he’d learned from Seungkwan and Seokmin in the garden, holding Seungkwan in the same way. Cute.
“The others are asking where you are,” Seokmin says from the door, and Seungkwan jerks away from Soonyoung. Soonyoung only chases after him to kiss him again, and Seungkwan puts both hands on his shoulders to keep him still.
“You scared me!” he says, and Soonyoung finally turns to look at Seokmin, grin wide and unabashed.
“You want to join?”
“I do need a Soonyoung kiss to be even, right?” Seokmin says, eyes glinting as he moves further into the room. “I know you can’t eat anymore, but it was bold of you to hide away at dinnertime just to make out with your alien boyfriend.”
“That is the first time that has happened,” Seungkwan tells him, but neither Soonyoung nor Seokmin seem too bothered by his defences, as Soonyoung eagerly moves to meet Seokmin in the middle and kiss him as soon as he can. “And we didn’t come up here to make out!”
Seokmin laughs into his kiss with Soonyoung, and Seungkwan feels his lips tingle. The two of them are less tentative than Seungkwan, and he can’t help but be impressed how fast Soonyoung picked up on how to kiss. He’s holding Seokmin tight around the shoulders, almost melding into him out of enthusiasm, but Seokmin seems happy with it.
“We came up here because Mingyu is my soulmate too,” Soonyoung says when they part, and Seokmin’s eyebrows shoot up.
“What? Mingyu is—how?”
“Don’t say it like that, you don’t even know the guy,” Seungkwan scolds, walking over to be in arm’s length of the two of them. Seokmin looks significantly tousled, but Soonyoung looks the same as ever. “Mingyu is compatible, Soonyoung can tell. We were having a moment about it.”
“Sorry, did I interrupt something important?”
“It’s okay, we’re through it now.”
“Seungkwan loves me,” Soonyoung says, pleased.
“I never said that,” he replies sternly, pointing at him.
“But you meant it,” Soonyoung grins, sliding back over to merge with Seungkwan again, who only rolls his eyes.
“Aww,” Seokmin says, holding Seungkwan’s arm and pulling him in for a quick kiss. “You guys! You’ve accepted each other!”
We’re in love, it’s true.
“I’m having second thoughts,” Seungkwan sighs. You’re so stupid.
Hoshi swells like he’s received a love confession. So are you!
“No you’re not,” Seokmin says, leading him out of the room, and he’s smiling so much Seungkwan can feel the happiness radiating from him, too. “Cuties.”
You hear that? We’re cute.
I know I am. You’re on thin ice.
Cute. He’s right. You are cute.
“Stop that,” he says, feeling himself heat up in the cheeks. “We’re done here. I need to go and focus on pushing delicious food around my plate for an hour so people don’t question why I’m not eating.”
“I put in an order at a dessert place earlier. Got everything chocolatey from the menu for you guys. You won’t go hungry, I promise.”
We love him so much.
Tell me about it.
“I love you,” he says out loud too, just to be sure it’s known. Seokmin only laughs, high and pleased, but he knows what it means. He loves us too.
-
They count down to Seokmin’s and Hansol’s birthday together, all twelve of them in the garden with Soonyoung joining in on the inside of Seungkwan’s head, and cheer at midnight. Seokmin, pleasantly tipsy, gives Hansol a long hard hug, and then they all move indoors for dessert when Jeonghan starts complaining about how his fingers will start to fall off. They find comfortable spots around the living room, Hansol and Mingyu falling into a doze on one of the camp-beds as the rest of them talk and reminisce about the year behind them. Seungcheol gives them a long, honest speech about supporting them and making time for each other in their adult lives, then Chan rambles drunkenly about how much they all mean to him. Jihoon and Minghao are quietly singing in the corner the whole time, swaying in time from their spot on the floor together, and Seokmin carefully strokes Seungkwan’s hand as he talks.
This is nice, Soonyoung hums, picking up Seokmin’s hand and kissing it for no real reason. We feel nice.
“We’re a bit drunk,” he replies, resting his head in the nook of Seokmin’s shoulder. He’s learned tonight that even though Hoshi will spit out any food that isn’t chocolate, he’ll take alcohol like a champ. “That’s what feels nice.”
“And being here with your friends, right? That’s pretty nice too?” Wonwoo asks playfully.
“Of course. I love being here with you guys. I missed you all so much.”
You should see them more.
It’s hard. But I really want to.
We’ll make sure of it this year.
“We should do this every year,” Wonwoo says. “Make it tradition to get us all in the same room at the same time.”
“I would like that,” Seungkwan mumbles as Seokmin and Chan heartily agree. “With Soonyoung too.”
With me?
I think they should meet you, at some point. Not while we’re all drunk, but I’d like them to know you too.
“With Soonyoung?” Seokmin asks quietly. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. If we’re going to date, then—Soonyoung should be with us too—they should know about him. We’ll break him into the friendship group at the right time, right?”
“Yeah. Of course,” Seokmin says, smiling. He pulls Seungkwan in closer. “I would really like that.”
“What are you whispering about, lovebirds?” Joshua interrupts, throwing them a sly look. “We’re all here too, you know.”
“We’re dating now,” Seungkwan says, and then burps. “We’re allowed to whisper.”
What follows is an outcry from their friends—no way!—you’re only dating now?—since when has this happened!—and Seungkwan laughs as Seokmin eagerly attempts to answer all the questions at once. Soonyoung preens in him at the positive attention, and Seungkwan makes a timely exit to find a glass of water before he can fall asleep absolutely wasted, or Soonyoung can decide to make another grand entrance. One of the two is bound to happen, and he doesn’t want to take his chances.
He only gets thirty seconds of comfortable quiet in the kitchen, the sounds of his friends laughing and calling out a pleasant distance down the corridor, before Lee Chan follows him into the kitchen.
“So. Dating now?”
Seungkwan finishes his water in one go and turns to look at him. “Dating now.”
“Even with Hoshi involved?”
“I’m the one that made it happen,” Soonyoung says with his mouth. “I’m the main boyfriend!”
Chan laughs, truly happy. “You made it work?”
“We’re going to make it work,” Seungkwan promises. “As much as he messes things up, he certainly helps speed things along, too. We’re all involved in this. We’re planning to let the others know about him when the time is right, too.”
“And you didn’t want to tell me first?”
Seungkwan waves a hand. “You’re too involved for your own good. You already know more than most.”
“But you and Hoshi don’t need me to mediate anymore. You guys found your balance. Congratulations.”
“It’s true. We’re managing. Thank you, Chan.”
That leaves Chan stunned for a moment. “For what?”
“What I thought was the end of my life… well, it actually gave me so much.”
It’s given you me. Just me.
Exactly.
“Are you sure you should thank me for that?” Chan asks in disbelief. “Are you for real?”
“I’m for real for real,” Seungkwan huffs. “I have two boyfriends now where before I had none. All thanks to you and your stupid conspiracy friends online.”
Chan’s face breaks out into a smile. “I really should’ve gotten this on camera. I’m going to tell Seokmin you said this.”
Seungkwan waves him away, too tired to bicker, only to spot Seokmin coming up the corridor towards them. “You okay in here?”
“Just sleepy,” Seungkwan mumbles, rubbing his face. “Time for bed.”
“I think we’re all feeling it. Junhui has fallen asleep on the floor, so we’re splitting up for the night. Are you headed to bed, Chan?”
Chan looks between them, eyes shining as Seungkwan rests his bodyweight against Seokmin. “I’m really happy for you guys. I didn’t think it would happen like this, but…”
“Extra love for us.”
“So much. I love you guys.” Seokmin kisses their forehead, and the warm feeling returns, spreading right down to their toes.
“Goodnight,” Seungkwan says pointedly to Chan, already thinking ahead to snuggling in the sheets with Seokmin, Soonyoung resting content in his veins. “Talk tomorrow.”
“Talk tomorrow,” Chan laughs, waving at them as Seokmin and Seungkwan walk up the stairs as one entity, making their way straight into bed as the others call out their goodnights around the house.
The two of them don’t speak as they kick off their jeans and get under the blankets, but Seokmin does press a kiss to their cheeks, once, twice, then one to their mouth. Seungkwan, responses delayed, puckers up too late, and Seokmin laughs at him and goes in to kiss him again.
“Goodnight,” he murmurs, and Seungkwan vaguely registers Soonyoung forming out between them, deliberately small in the bed.
“Kisses for me too?”
Seungkwan’s eyes are sliding shut, but he can hear the other two sharing some giggly kisses, can feel Soonyoung pulling Seungkwan’s arms around him until they’re pressed together.
“Goodnight, Seungkwan-ie. Goodnight, Soonyoung-ah.”
“Goodnight,” Soonyoung says, connecting them both, their hands meeting over his body. “I’ll look out for you both. I’ll protect you. You can sleep well.”
“And us you,” Seokmin says, and Seungkwan nods into Soonyoung’s form. “For as long as you want to stay.”
“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me,” Soonyoung admits, quieter than Seungkwan has ever heard him. “I’ve found home.”
“Me too,” Seokmin says, almost a whisper. Seungkwan, too lethargic to speak, hums in agreement, kissing Soonyoung’s back. Then he falls asleep in their embrace, warm and comforted. It’s home for him too.