Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

STAND NEAR TO ME, DON’T LOOK BE BRAVE

The rest of that Saturday went by exactly how Kenny had imaged it would. A half hour after Sparky’s service Kyle gathered his few things in his backpack and Sharon went to drop him off at the bus station to head back to South Park. Kenny went to bid him goodbye on the front porch of the house.

“Just… take care of Stan for me Kenny. Please,” Kyle told him, looking at his shoes.

“Of course. I know he’s still hurting.”

“Yes but you’ve never dealt with Stan at his lowest point yet like I have. Not to undermine you but”-

“No, I get it. I’ll try. I know I might not be able to cheer him up like you might but I’m going to try,” Kenny vowed.

Kyle sighed but went to follow Sharon to the car and out of sight. Kenny stood at the porch for a minute, watching the car leave the property and suddenly struck with the task at hand. It couldn’t be that difficult to deal with Stan like this. Kenny felt he had done an all right job so far. Plus Kenny had the gift of sensing whenever Sparky’s spirit was nearby although at this point it only seemed to make Stan more upset. He’d have to work around that too. It was new territory but if he wanted any chance of becoming closer with Stan he would have to fill that void.

Once Kenny had gone back up to Stan’s room he noticed he had changed out of the dressy clothes and put on his lounge pants and an old t-shirt again. The rest of the day was spent with Stan listening to sad music or watching depressing YouTube videos or shows on Netflix. Kenny asked him if he wanted to try and make his own little dentist mirror now that Kyle was out of the basement but Stan declined, not feeling up for an adventure like that now. He also opted out of playing with his Legos or any of his other toys or games or video games. Kenny tried getting Stan to laugh but he wasn’t feeling up to being silly either. Kenny ended up playing on Stan’s ipad, feeling it was best to give him space. He didn’t know how Kyle would be handling this situation right now and if Stan hated his guts at this point that he wasn’t providing him with the support he was used to from Kyle. But as long as Stan didn’t freak out on anyone like he had the past couple days then Kenny considered the day a win.

Sharon had called the boys down for dinner which ended up being Hamburger Helper which made him excited. Hamburger Helper was considered ‘fancy food’ in his household, when his parents could afford to buy some ground meat and milk to make the sauce that usually came in the box. He was sure such a meal was a cheap and quick meal in the Marsh household however.

Sharon looked at Kenny as he ate with gusto and Stan as he poked around his serving. “Boys? Do you know when you might be heading back to South Park tomorrow?” she asked carefully.

Kenny shrugged. “My parents don’t expect me back at any time. Whatever works best for you Mrs. Marsh.”

Sharon looked at her son. “Stan sweetie? Were you planning on staying around for a little while back in town tomorrow?”

Stan gave a great sigh. “I’m not sure. I’m not really in the mood to do anything back in town.”

Sharon took a sip from her iced tea. “Well I say you should stay around for a little while at least. Just to clear your mind. Be away from the farm. I know being here all day long gets to you like it does to all of us.”

“Hey!” Randy snapped over his plate.

Stan took a drink from his own iced tea. “I don’t know. What if I run into”-

“Please dude? For me? It’s still technically my day with you after all,” Kenny cut across, placing his hand on the table as he looked into his friend’s dull blue eyes.

Stan grunted, scowl on his face. “Fine. I’ll stick around town for a few hours before I head back on the next bus back here.”

Kenny wanted to cheer at his spot at the dinner table but refrained. He had to remind himself to take small steps. That and trying to pay attention to any ques from Stan along the way. Dinner wrapped up quietly and Stan was still too upset for dessert so Kenny took up a piece of leftover brownie from earlier for himself to Stan’s room where the boys did a lot more of nothing. Ten o’clock arrived and Stan and Kenny got ready for bed. Right before Stan reached over to turn off his light he looked down at Kenny already in his sleeping bag.

“Kenny, sorry about your visit this weekend. It was pretty shitty,” Stan said softly.

Kenny shrugged. “Don’t feel too bad dude. Better than being home. I just want you to know that, you know… I’m here and stuff.”

Stan could only nod back. He turned off his light and went under his covers and fell asleep rather quickly. Kenny lay in his spot on the floor with his hands behind his head for close to two hours before he too finally drifted off to sleep.

Sunday

Stan and Kenny awoke at nine the next morning to the sun finally shining some light into the bedroom. Kenny had packed the few things he brought with him and ate breakfast downstairs with Stan as well. Sharon was sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee in hand.

“So? Boys? What time did you want me to drop you off at the bus station?”

Kenny looked to Stan.

Stan slowly ate his Fruity Pebbles. “I don’t care. I just don’t want to have to take a late bus back up here.”

“The latest bus leaves South Park to here at 6:30. As long as you make it by then I don’t think you need to worry,” Sharon notified her son as she took a sip from her mug.

And so an hour later Stan found himself sitting at the bus station to go back into South Park with Kenny. It was very tempting to bid farewell to Kenny at the bust station and head back to the farm with his mom but he also knew it would be good for him to be away from home for the day. So Stan sat around waiting for the bus, wallet with thirty bucks inside from his mother to spend when he got back into town. It was a little harder to say no when he had some spending money now. The bus finally pulled up and Stan and Kenny hopped inside and took a sit near the back. Stan had his hands in his pockets as the bus drove off.

Kenny had Stan’s Nintendo Switch in his hand as they rode. He glanced over at Stan.

“Why the long face dude?”

“Nothing. Just weird to go back to town on a non-school day. I hope today isn’t a complete mess.”

Kenny went back to Splattoon. “You aren’t going to run into Kyle today. Just enjoy yourself like I want to too. It is still my day with you. I want to do something fun.”

Stan looked over at him and took his hands out of his pockets. “What did you have in mind?”

Kenny paused the game now. “We could always do some dumpster diving. Or try and find any treasure in an open plot of dirt. I have a couple good shovels we can use back home.”

“Treasure?” Stan’s lips pulled into a tiny grin. “Are we going to be crafting any weird spy tools with what we find?”

“Heck yeah! We have the whole town to ourselves! Plus some places are still limited capacity so imagine what we can do if we sort of snuck in to like, Ross or Best Buy without anyone seeing us? Freak people out. Hide in the shadows and scare them. Hehehe,” Kenny chuckled.

Damn this was tempting to Stan. “Maybe. If I’m up to it. Maybe we can get ice cream or donuts too. My mom gave me money.”

Kenny patted his back. “There’s that smile I know so well.”

Stan smiled back, lips twitching upwards but not showing any teeth. It was noon by the time the bus rolled into town. It’s not that Stan hated being back; it was just weird since he didn’t live there anymore. The only reasons he ever went back to South Park was for school or a dentist appointment or something lame like that. He had been huddled back on the farm for quarantine and even with some stores lifting their restrictions now there was still little reason to be back. He didn’t have his friendships back so didn’t have a strong desire to go anywhere with his friends anyway. If he did need something his mom would get it at Middle Park which was closer to the farm. So Stan wanted to be able to walk the streets of his hometown now and try to take it in as if things were kind of back to normal. Even if it was just with Kenny. He was doing a fair job so far with trying to cheer him up and being a bitch back to him would be stupid. The two decided to walk up the street to head to a nearby park. Stan kind of wished he had with him his bike or skateboard but tried to make the most of his time there.

“Look! There’s a couple swings still available! Let’s go!” Kenny pointed out and ran to the swings.

Stan followed after him in a quick pace down the hill to the swing set. Kenny took one up next to a girl that Stan didn’t know. Kenny saw Stan’s hesitancy as he approached the swings.

“What’s up? Just hop on, it’s a swing. Always makes you feel better when you start soaring in the air,” Kenny pointed as he began to pump himself up.

Stan sighed but slowly took up a seat and a hold of the chains. Kenny didn’t get it. No one did usually. When you felt sad you couldn’t help but want to ride that feeling out as long as possible. The idea of doing anything remotely fun or exciting was weird. Yes a part of your mind wanted to join in and be free and shake off the bad thoughts. But a huge part would keep reminding you why you were feeling down in the first place. And it almost felt like you were cheating on your own negative thoughts if you placed a happy one in it. It didn’t belong and just left you feeling confused and struggling between the two for the rest of the day. But Stan decided to go for it anyway even if those bad thoughts immediately took over as he positioned himself in the swing.

Your dog just died. How can you have any fun? You might run into Kyle today. That’s going to be a big shit show if you do. Maybe you should just go back home and work on more sad music. Do more rewrites of songs to fit in with how you’re feeling.

“Shut-up! Let me enjoy this,” Stan snapped at his own brain before he threw his feet out and back a few times to begin his momentum on the swing. Seconds later he got higher and higher, feeling the cool breeze on his face as he went.

Kenny looked to his left and saw a genuine smile on Stan’s face. He said nothing as he went higher and higher. The two stayed on the swings for thirty minutes before playing tag with a few other kids at the park. Thankfully Stan didn’t recognize any of them. They must be from another classroom. After Stan and Kenny had some fun at the park they both noted they were hungry and went to grab some food at KFC. There were only a few seats open in the restaurant and they were able to grab the last one. Kenny had a huge smile on his face as he ate a chicken thigh.

“I haven’t had KFC in so long, thanks Stan!”

“Sure. It’s kind of a treat for me too. Um, want some ice cream after?”

Kenny looked up from his soda. “You mean it?”

“Yeah. I still have some money left. And I um, kind of have a little extra from some money my grandma gave me. We deserve a treat.”

This time Kenny cheered. The boys finished up their fried chicken and then hopped on a bus to go over to Ice Cream Palace, the fancy ice cream shop in town. Stan ended up eating the majority of his Snicker Bar scoop in a waffle cone which was a good thing, meaning he was starting to get his appetite back. He frowned as he looked at the melting dregs of his cone. Again, his mind was getting angry with him as he thought of a slightly happy thought.

How can you even think about feeling happier? Your dog just died you idiot!

“You okay Stan?” Kenny asked, finishing off his birthday cake scoop.

Stan tossed the last few bites of his cone away. “Too much happy at once. It’s weird.”

“No, it’s good for you dude. Take your mind off your troubles. Let those good thoughts take over.”

Stan just looked down at his phone. He knew Kenny wouldn’t get it. Kenny sensed Stan’s sudden mood change. He looked at him, wondering what the hell Kyle would do in this situation. Give him space? Have him do something else fun? Yell?

“Sorry. Um, if you want to be sad still you can. I won’t push you,” Kenny said awkwardly.

Stan looked back up from his phone. “I just want to go for a walk now. Nowhere in particular.”

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

They stepped out and made their way down the street. They passed by a few more shops. Another park. The high school. An empty field. Kenny was feeling a little bored now but said nothing. If a walk was needed for Stan to clear his head he’d allow it. Stan meanwhile walked with his head down most of the time, hands in his pockets. They came up to a standalone green building. The local animal shelter. Stan turned and looked to Kenny.

“You wanna go in dude?”

Stan once again was having that battle in his mind. He bit his lip. “Naw. I’m okay.”

“Let’s go in. See if they have any cats or dogs that need some company today.”

Stan put his hands back in his pockets and walked in. Kenny approached the lady at the front.

“Hi, my friend and I were wondering if we could pet some cats and dogs today? Any animals that could use some company?”

The lady looked a little haggard as she typed away at her computer. “We did get a few dogs in just today that could use the company. We also have a mama cat with a litter of some kittens a few weeks old.”

Kenny smiled widely at Stan. “Hear that Stan? We’re in luck!”

The lady still looked distressed. “Poor dogs though. They are all huddled in one small room for right now since the kennels we have are in need of repairs but we haven’t had the funds to fix them up. Same with the mother cat. She would feel safer in a foster home right now. She hasn’t been able to feed her babies since she is stressed, being around so many other cats. It seems like once the pandemic hit no one wanted to help out their local animal shelters anymore.”

Stan took a step closer. “Really? That’s so sad.” He thought for a second before pulling out his wallet and handing over a ten dollar bill.

The employee smiled and placed a hand to her chest. “Oh sweetie, keep it. That’s yours.”

“No, the animals need it more than me.”

The lady smiled again before she pointed to a jar on her desk. “If you want to donate you can. That is very kind of you sweetie.”

Stan did so, adding in that ten dollars making his heart feel lighter than it had all day. Kenny watched Stan as he did so.

“I wish there was something else we could do to help. I mean I’d donate too but I don’t really have much,” Kenny kicked at the linoleum flooring.

The woman was back to typing at her computer. “Extra attention and love always is welcomed. I know there isn’t a whole lot you two can do, being children.”

Just then a man walked in carrying with him a small dog in his arms.

“Ohh, not another one,” the employee groaned.

“I found this little guy digging around in the garbage outside of Pizza Hut. I’d take him in myself but I already have two dogs of my own.”

“Okay fine.” She picked up her phone. “Brenda? We have another dog that’s just been brought in.”

A minute later another employee wearing a navy blue t-shirt took the dog off the man’s hands and went back down the hall. Stan felt saddened as he saw yet another poor animal surrendered over to the city. Maybe he would have asked his mom for another dog or to at least foster one but it felt too soon. But he knew it wouldn’t feel right to just walk out of here without trying to do more if he could. He racked his brains.

“Is there something we could do though?” Stan pointed to himself and Kenny. “As kids? Since we can’t donate a lot of money ourselves. What if we got the money some other way?”

“What? Rob a bank?” Kenny suggested.

“No dumbass,” Stan snapped. “I mean like some kind of lemonade stand or bake sale. Raise some money and have the proceeds go to the shelter.”

The lady, Cindy, stopped typing now. “You know, that isn’t that bad of an idea. I don’t think there should be any issues holding a little benefit for the animal shelter in town.”

“What will we do? A bake sale like we did for the victims of that gulf crisis?” Kenny questioned.

Stan rubbed his chin, thinking hard. An idea popped in his mind and a smile plastered his face. “I have an even better idea.”

Two hours later the plans were all set. Cindy had left a message on the machine for the mayor and Stan had made a few phone calls and everyone including the mayor responded back promptly. Stan’s band, Crimson Dawn, would hold a small concert in the open field of Willowbrook Park the following Friday at 1 P.M. with a few food venues set up and all money donated would go directly to the animal shelter. Butters and Jimmy, his fellow band-mates thought it was a great idea and of course Kenny was on board too, being the fourth member. He slapped Stan on the back when they stepped out of the shelter.

“Awesome idea dude! I think this is a great step towards healing. And I know Sparky is”-

“Stop,” Stan held his hands up. “I just feel it’s the right thing to do. It has nothing to do with trying to ‘get over’ the death of Sparky. Those animals deserve a better space to live while they wait for their own forever families.”

Kenny took a step back. “Right. Well, I still feel it will do you some good. Put a smile on your face.”

Stan gave him a weird look. “Crimson Dawn isn’t about putting a smile on people’s faces dumbass.”

Kenny rolled his eyes, not liking when Stan started biting his head off like this. “Fine. Okay. We’ll be doom and gloom. It’s your band.”

Not long after this meeting Stan decided to take the bus back home to Weed County. He told Kenny to make sure Butters and Jimmy stopped by the farm a few times before the concert to practice. And so the rest of the week passed by slowly and awkwardly as before, maybe more so now since Kenny had his ‘visitation’ with Cartman the next two days. It went just as Kenny expected it would, with doing nothing but watching TV or video games at Cartman’s house but not being allowed to participate in them and if he did Cartman would whine and throw in his usual comments of him being poor. Kenny wondered why he did hang around him at all sometimes and even why Cartman was a part of the group. He remembered briefly it had something to do with preschool and Stan inviting him to play with them because he felt bad. Something stupid. Stan was pretty gullible when he was little. Back when Stan and Kyle became fast friends that first day of preschool. Kenny could still recall watching the two play and wishing he would join but he himself was too busy playing with the nice new toys in the classroom to ask. It was shortly after Stan’s fourth birthday they became a foursome. One that was strong, with maybe a few bumps, but a strong bond regardless. How did things get fucked up so quickly five years later? And was Kenny foolish to believe it would ever get that way again? If Stan and Kyle were fighting it usually meant the group was disbanded. It meant Cartman and himself had to choose a side. Right now Kenny didn’t want to choose a side, they were both being stupid.

Friday

Stan awoke in a very weird mood that day. Today after school he would be holding out a small concert to help raise money for the South Park Animal Shelter and his friends Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy would be there to join. He hadn’t performed in their band since the Crimson Dawn biopic plan fell through. They had only gotten together to practice twice that week but Stan wasn’t expecting perfection and he didn’t think many of the town folk were either. Would anyone really expect perfection from a band consisting of ten-year-olds? It didn’t matter though; Stan just wanted some money to be donated for the animal shelter. He certainly had the right mind frame to scream sing and play his guitar since there had been a lot he was dealing with recently. And so that Friday he went to school like any other day. Meanwhile the mayor and the rest of the town would get the space set up in the nearby park for the band to perform and his mother would be dropping off the instruments to the event as well. As he walked around the halls of South Park Elementary that day he could hear various students talking about the impromptu concert happening later that day. The majority of people sounded excited but there were still some kid that had something negative to say about it.

“Did you hear that one kid, Stan Marsh, is holding a concert later at Willowbrook Park today?”

Stan was in the bathroom stall during recess when he heard two boys talking outside the doorframe.

“Pff. Yeah. Wasn’t he the one that did that anti-bullying video that resulted in a huge mess?”

Stan frowned as he looked down from his spot on the toilet.

The first boy laughed. “Probably is trying to hold out for another shot at his fifteen minutes of fame.”

“And for the animal shelter? What a stupid idea. The shelter is fine.”

“And from what I heard his performance at the fall festival sucked too. Played some death metal and everyone hated it.”

Stan gritted his teeth in anger.

The second boy chuckled at this. “Maybe we should go, just to boo him.”

“Good thinking Graham! Yeah, I bet he blows this one too.”

The two boys walked out after. Stan finished up in the bathroom and ran into Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy in the halls on the way back to class.

“Maybe we should just call it off you guys,” Stan said softly, hands in his pockets as he looked at his shoes.

“What? Why?” Kenny turned to face him.

“It’s a great idea Stan! Why if singin’ can help all those animals in the shelter then we should go for it,” Butters smiled his usual cheery smile.

“It’s going to blow. We’ve barely practiced and people might not show. We already got some people complaining we’re renting out the stage at the park. It’s too sudden. It’s best to call it off,” Stan said in the same defeated tone. Man, everything was making him feel like crap lately.

Kenny placed a hand on his shoulder. “But Stan, it’s a great idea. And for a great cause. What changed your mind?”

Stan shrugged just as he saw Kyle walk on ahead. “I heard a couple kids talking… it’s not going to end well. No one really gets metal music like us. I guess it was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

Kenny forced Stan to look at him. “C’mon Stan. you want to do this. You’ll be performing in front of people to help raise money for animals. It’s music and animals. What’s not to love? So what if it’s just our parents out there? Even just ten bucks can help the shelter. Everyone is setting things up for us so they’ll be expecting us. Let’s make some cats and dogs happy!”

Stan felt his lips pull up a little. Kenny patted his back.

“So we still on?” Butters asked.

“Yeah. Let’s kick some ass,” Stan took his hands out of his pockets now.

“F-f-fuck yeah!” Jimmy beamed.

School ended at 2:45 and Sharon went by to pick the boys up and drop them off at the park so they could rehearse before the big show.

“It may not be too glamorous but I think the community did a good job with the short amount of time they had to put the space together,” Sharon was explaining as she drove.

“Are you sure? We all know how annoyed the mayor can get. I don’t want her to call off everything if things start to suck,” Stan commented.

“Well I didn’t see her much, it’s mostly people from town donating some tables and chairs and cables for the stage. Oh! A food truck will be there too.”

“What kind of food?” Butters asked.

“Hot dogs,” Sharon answered.

Stan rolled his eyes. How will they raise any Significant money if dollar hot dogs were being sold? But he didn’t have much time to overthink this. They were soon at the park. On the chain-link fence that opened to the parking lot was a sign hanging reading ‘Free Concert Tonight! Help Support Your Local Animal Shelter! Show starts at 6.’ The small outdoor stage of the park had their instruments set up already and one guy hung around the side working with a couple lights as he smoked a cigarette. Six people were setting up plastic chairs around the stage and in the distance Stan could see ‘Frankie’s Hot Dogs N’ More’ parked to the side. He supposed it could be worse. And so he got over to the stage with his bandmates and began rehearsal, not knowing the entire time that Kyle was hanging around by the swings to show his support.

Kyle had been struggling all day on whether or not he should attend. To do so meant he would be supporting Stan and his presence might possibly anger him and make things worse between the two. Or it could have the opposite effect and be just the thing to get their friendship rolling again. Kyle finally decided he had to take that chance. He was annoyed that Stan and Crimson Dawn picked today to hold their concert since today was supposed to be Kyle’s day to spend with Kenny. But he couldn’t let petty differences come into play. This was for something much more important. Kyle hoped that Stan would at least hear him out if the chance arose.

It was now 5:30. Stan peaked around the large curtain of the stage to see if anyone was there.

“Well?” Jimmy asked.

Stan turned back to his friends. “Looks like a decent crowd. More than just our parents. A lot of empty seats but the show isn’t until six. They could fill.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kenny praised. “Let’s just have fun. That’s what music should be anyway.”

Stan was tapping his hand to his leg in nerves; today had to go all right. Subconsciously he knew this was all for Sparky. Six o’clock arrived and Mayor McDonald stepped onto the stage to explain the charity of the night and to introduce the band. Stan was hardly listening, feeling somehow more nervous now than when he first performed months ago. Maybe it was because he was still feeling down from the past few weeks or maybe the words from the boys in the bathroom earlier was still getting to him. Stan hoped they would be able to get a decent amount of money donated to the animal shelter. Even twenty bucks would help. Suddenly Mayor McDonald was glaring at him, hands on her hips.

“Well are you kids going to perform or not?”

“Right, right, sorry,” Stan fumbled and the curtains pulled back roughly, revealing his band mates on the stage, Jimmy on the drums, Butters on guitar, and Kenny on base. Stan grabbed the mike, lowering it down to his height. He looked out in the crowd to see his mom front and center and the other boys’ parents seated around. Stan cleared his throat.

“Hi everyone. Um, we’re Crimson Dawn. You might have heard us perform during last year’s Autumn Fest. Tonight we will be performing a few songs that will hopefully bring in some donations for the South Park Animal Shelter. Feel free to grab a hot dog or donate to the jar by the stage. It’s very much appreciated. Okay, our first song is going to be something original that I wrote called Consume My Soul.” He nodded to his band mates and a second later Jimmy broke into a fast beat on the drums and the song began.

Stan and Crimson Dawn played a total of six songs for the crowd which thankfully grew a little more as the evening progressed. Stan was too busy belting out the lyrics to the songs to take much notice in the people in the audience, one of those people being Kyle. Kyle sat in a chair closer to the back so he wouldn’t be as easily spotted. There were a few hiccups with the performance since the band hadn’t had much time to rehearse but they got through it and people were placing bills and change into the large jar near the front steps of the stage. Stan finished the set off with his own solo. Kenny handed over Stan’s acoustic guitar and he placed the mike back in the stand and strummed his guitar and sang a slower tune with the others backing him up softly. By seven, the show was over. Thankfully the crowd cheered and clapped for them when it ended, making Stan feel as if it wasn’t pointless after all. Of course Stan’s mom and a few friends of his parents were clapping loudest. Volunteers began taking apart the set and Stan walked over to one of the correspondents for the animal shelter.

“So how did we do?” he asked her as she was counting the bills.

“You boys did an amazing job, so much talent for kids so young,” the woman smiled.

“How much money did we earn for the shelter?” Butters asked.

“Give me a few more minutes to count. This looks like a great turn out already, we will really be able to help the animals with all of these donations.”

Stan felt Kenny’s hand on his back. “Great show man. We kicked ass.”

“Yeah, it was pretty good. Glad it’s over and something will come from it. Thanks again dude for not letting me back out.”

“I knew you would regret it if you did. And I’m sure that Spa- that all the animals will be grateful and happy,” Kenny stopped himself before he ended up saying something that might set Stan off. Thankfully Stan didn’t look angry with him.

“Hope so,” he agreed.

Seconds later the shelter employee had finished corroborating all the donations in the jar. “Congratulations boys! With the donations from this jar we managed to raise $356.75! Good job!”

Stan looked at the others and they cheered and high-fived one another.

“That’s sweet! Wow! That’s a lot of money,” Stan said, amazed.

“And that’s not counting the money from the hot dog stand,” Butters reminded them. He looked at the woman. “You’ll be adding that up as well right?”

“Yes. But they will be running up until eight so there is still a good chance we will see the same profit, if not more, once they close up for the night as well,” the worker answered.

Just then Stan saw his mom walking his way. She gave him a hug.

“Good job boys. You did a really good thing today. And it was a nice variety of music,” Sharon commented.

“I wanted to throw in something slow to round things off in the end,” Stan explained.

“We were all going to get a bite to eat from the hot dog truck. Did you boys want to join?” Sharon looked to her son’s friends.

“You betcha!” Butters declared.

Butters and Jimmy followed Sharon down to where the truck was located. Kenny took a couple steps their way but stopped and turned around to look at Stan.

“You coming dude?”

Stan had his hands in his pockets. “I’ll catch up. I just want to walk around for a few minutes by myself if that’s okay.”

“But what if- okay. Go ahead. I’ll make sure your mom saves you a chili dog.”

Stan felt his lips pull up slightly before he looked down and walked off the other way. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to be alone all of a sudden but knew better by now than to think too hard on his actions. If that’s what his mind wanted he had to listen. He was still trying to find that weird balance between feeling happy and being okay with it but also give himself room to grieve and feel sad. He walked down the pathway of the large park away from the staging area and towards the nearly empty lot down the hill. There was a large baseball field this way. He would often play on this field during baseball season in the summer but he wasn’t sure if they were going to be using this field come next season due to the fact that right behind the field they were expanding the park on the empty dirt field running alongside the third base line as well as the small concession stand. The area was currently blocked off with cones and Do Not Cross tape as well as a mess of construction equipment and pipes. Stan hadn’t really been down this way in a long time since Covid hit and he was forced to spend all his free time in quarantine. Now as he stood at the baseball field slash construction site he couldn’t help but feel saddened. If things were normal and Covid hadn’t happened, or it still had and he still had Kyle, or if Sparky hadn’t died and Stan wouldn’t be so moody, would he and his friends go exploring on the construction site? He was sure there were some cool things around the field. It would make for a fun place to play hide-n-seek. Stan stood under the park lamppost as the skies grew a deepened dark orange streaked with grayish pink clouds as the sun set. Simpler days. Happier times.

“Stan?” came a timid voice behind him.

“Ahhh!” Stan screamed, jumping five feet in the air. He turned around, hand on his chest, breathing hard to see who the hell decided to give him a heart-attack. His eyes narrowed at Kyle standing six feet away. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Kyle rubbed his arm, looking as if he was going over a million different things in his head. “I wanted to see you dude.”

Stan looked wildly around. “By lurking in the darkness by the closed off part of the park? What the hell?”

“Sorry. But you don’t want to hear me out anywhere else I try to approach you. What else am I supposed to do?”

Stan was glaring again. “Accept that we are no longer friends Kyle. That’s what you can do.” He put his hands in his pockets again and was about to walk back but Kyle grabbed hold of his jacket.

“No! Can’t you see that’s the whole problem? I can’t accept that we’re no longer friends Stan. I don’t want this to be the end of what we used to have. Stan- just listen to me!” Kyle pleaded as he shook him off.

“I don’t want to listen to you, don’t you get it? I’m done. I don’t want to hear any more of your stupid excuses. It’s over and I just want to”- Stan suddenly paused, hand pointing Kyle’s way.

“What?” Kyle looked at him weird.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

Stan set his arm down to his side again. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Kyle gripped his jacket, almost desperate. “No, what’s wrong dude?”

Stan looked ahead. “I thought I heard something just now over there. In the field.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

Stan had his hands back in his pockets. “Probably imagined it.”

“What did you hear?”

Stan didn’t answer. He turned around to walk off but he heard it again. A small squeaky cry like from an animal. Stan looked at Kyle, asking with his eyes if he heard it before he walked over to the coned off construction site.

“Stan! Wait!” Kyle followed after. “Dude what are you doing? We can’t go in here.”

“Since when has cones ever stopped us from doing anything dumbass?” Stan snapped.

“What are you even doing?”

“I heard like a cat or squirrel. Some small animal just now. Maybe someone is hurt or lost in here. I have to see…” Stan hopped down a shallow trench in the dirt that divided the baseball diamond from the construction site. Kyle hesitated but hopped down after him. Stan walked a few feet in the trench, phone out, searching with the light.

“See anything?” Kyle asked.

“Not yet.” Stan moved the light from the device upwards now and he heard it again.

“I heard it just now. Sounds like a cat,” Kyle noted.

Stan walked down the trench and moved the phone and stopped in his tracks. A dark creature was sitting on a rock jutting above them from the trench. It was a black kitten. Stan beamed.

“It’s a kitten! Hey there little guy… how’d you get there?” Stan made a move to grab the cat but it scurried off and out the trench to the dirt on the other side. Stan cursed but stuck a foot into a hole and made his way up and out to follow it.

“Stan, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I thought you were the smart one of the group,” Stan said flatly. Kyle sighed but climbed out as well and stood next to Stan.

“Fine. Get it so we can go home.”

Stan spun around, eyes blazing. “Don’t you even think about that shit Kyle.”

“About what? You’re being”- Kyle decided to shut-up.

“What? I’m being what?”

“Nothing,” Kyle rolled his eyes.

“No, tell me. I’m being what? Stupid? Irresponsible? Unreasonable? Annoying?”

“Why are you so huffy? Get the cat and go Stan.”

“Stop talking to me as if we’re friends again Kyle. I don’t need you here. I can grab the kitten myself and take it to the shelter.”

Kyle could feel his heart speed up and his eye twitch. He wanted so badly to retort and to plead his case but made the decision not to. Stan was still too agitated and emotions were running high for him to care about anything at all he said. Stan meanwhile flashed his phone about to try and spot where the kitten had run off to.

“Here kitty kitty… psssstt pssssttt…you don’t need to be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you.” Stan tripped over an exposed pipe in the ground. The noise caused a small black creature a foot in front of him to dart to the right. “No! Come back! Damnit.” Stan scrambled up to his feet to chase after the cat.

“Stan, it’s getting dark. How the hell are you really going to find a black cat at night?” Kyle asked, standing ten feet away.

“Just shut the hell up okay? It’s a black cat. They already have the short end of the stick by being ignored in shelters… I have to help him.”

Kyle growled, crossing his arms as he watched Stan run around like an idiot at the construction site, chasing after a little kitten.

Stan didn’t feel foolish at all. He had to help the kitten. Poor thing was probably scared, lost, and hungry. He couldn’t turn away now. Again, was this something Sparky was sending down for some damn reason or another? Did it really matter? Stan had been too depressed about everything lately that it didn’t matter if something was meant to be or not. He just had to roll with it. He could hear the occasional cry from the kitten as it ran off. It hopped up to the edge of a long heavy pipe, stacked with several others in a sort of pyramid structure. It sat and stared and meowed.

Stan rolled his eyes. “You dumb-dumb. You keep running because you’re scared. Just sit there so I can get you okay?” Stan looked around now, wondering how he was going to get to the top pipe the kitten was sitting at. They were stacked up five feet high. Taller than him by several inches and so not too easy to get to. he could hear someone come up behind him. He rolled his eyes, knowing it was Kyle.

“Is it in the pipe?” Kyle asked.

Stan said nothing, looking at the stack. He saw a couple sticking out slightly more than the others. He was going to hop up and grab the cat on the top of the pipe. He put his phone in his back pocket and gripped one pipe with his hands and placed his feet in another.

“What are you going to do? Stan, you could fall and hurt yourself or get stuck in the pipe,” Kyle warned.

“I’m not leaving here without that kitten.” Stan swung his body upwards. As he did so the kitten of course walked into the pipe and out of site. Stan hung with his top body at the base of the pipe, seeing the cat halfway in. “You little bugger… let me help you. Damn.” He heaved his body up and army-crawled into the pipe now, scooting his body slowly into it to try and reach the cat.

Kyle sighed; Stan didn’t take his advice often when they were friends either. Of course he would crawl into a pipe without a second thought.

Stan crawled a little more before finally-

“A-ha! Got you!” His hands closed around the furry black kitten. He moved his shoulders to scoot back out but realized it was kind of tight and hard to do so. He tried again but still couldn’t move. “Goddamnit! You have to be kidding me.” He moved his body but still couldn’t move backward or even forward now. He licked his lips as panic tried to creep in. No, he couldn’t freak out yet. Very regretfully, he called for Kyle.

Kyle’s head poked in on the open end of the pipe, some six feet away. “Yeah? What is it Stan?”

Stan had a hold of the kitten. He sighed. “I think I’m stuck.”

“Stuck? Did you try moving both forward and back?”

“Obviously. I can’t move. The pipe is too tight around me. All I can do is kick my feet but I can’t move in or out.”

Kyle blinked at the front of the cement tunnel. “Here, give me the kitten and I’ll try to pull you out.” Stan held onto the kitten as it now purred in his hands. He looked worried. Kyle sighed, kneeling at the other end. “I’m not going to let anything happen to him okay? But you need to get out yourself.”

Stan tried to nod, the top of his head hitting the top of the pipe. He opened his hands to pass the kitten along to Kyle. Kyle was barely able to stick a hand into the pipe to grab it without going in himself. He took hold of the kitten and placed him in the pipe below. He held out an arm for Stan now.

“Here- try and grab hold Stan.”

Stan held his arms out but pulled them back. “Wait! What if you pulling at my arms dislocate them from their sockets?”

“Stan… I’ll be careful. But we have to try this way before I go and get help. C’mon, hold out an arm.”

Slowly, Stan did so. Kyle grabbed his hand and began tugging and pulling.

“Ow! Ow oww oww ow! Stop!” Stan cried out. “Stop, it’s not working.”

Kyle cursed. “Fuck. Okay, let me go back to the stage area and find someone to help.”

“Fine…” Stan hung his head, feeling embarrassed and knowing he was going to get a lecture from his mother when he got out about how stupid he was to go into a pipe without knowing if he could even fit. He looked over to see Kyle’s shadow leave the site. As annoyed as he still was with him he hoped Kyle wound find an adult quickly. It was cold and dark in this pipe. Stan wiggled, trying to free himself. Hardly thirty seconds later the form of Kyle’s shadow returned and Kyle’s head was peaking down at him again. Had he found help that quickly? But Kyle wasn’t smiling he was frowning, that look on his face when Stan knew he was about to say something he didn’t want to hear.

“You know, now that I’m here and you’re here I was thinking that maybe we can finally talk Stan.”

Stan struggled again. “Just get me help so I can take the cat and get out of here!”

Kyle glanced behind him. “I don’t get why you’re so insistent on not talking to me Stan. I’ve been trying to reach out to you for days now but you keep pushing me away.”

“Because we aren’t friends anymore! That’s why. I have nothing more to say to you.”

Kyle hung over the other side of the pipe, glancing down. “The least you can do is hear me out dude. I deserve to at least get some word in, especially if you’re in no position to not hear it.”

Stan glared ahead of him. “So you’re just going to take advantage of the fact that I’m stuck in a pipe to spill out your heart? What a new fucking low Kyle.”

Kyle grew angry. “I deserve to say what I want to say to you Stan!”

“No,” Stan’s voice came in deep and almost unnaturally hallow. Kyle opened his mouth but Stan cut across him. “No. You don’t get to say whatever you want to Kyle. Those days are over. You can no longer just say whatever is on your mind and expect me to just go along and agree.”

Kyle felt his throat burn as Stan spoke. Where was this coming from?

“Stan… I never wanted you to think”-

Stan tried moving but still didn’t budge. “That’s the problem. You never did think about how I was feeling. Ever.”

“But Stan”-

“You wanted to talk. Well I’m talking. I’m tired of being stepped on by you. My feelings being pushed aside. That I’m always supposed to just ‘go-with-the-flow’ while you stand there and make trouble for yourself.”

Neither said anything for a good thirty seconds. Kyle took hold of the black kitten again in his arms. “I’m sorry Stan. I don’t know what you want me to say but I’m sorry.” The burning was reaching his eyes now. “Never did I ever want you to feel like I didn’t care.” Kyle swallowed painfully. “When did I ever make you feel like I didn’t care?”

Stan could feel his own eyes stinging now. “I don’t want to go into specifics right now. It won’t change a thing.”

“You don’t know that!” Kyle leaned forward now. “Things can change. We can still go back and be friends again Stan. This doesn’t have to be our new thing.”

Stan cast his eyes down sadly. “I already learned after my parents divorced that second time that things can’t simply go back to how we want them to be. Things do have to change. And this pandemic has showed me the kind of person you really are.”

Kyle wiped at his eyes. He knew he couldn’t just stop this; he had to keep going to see what Stan was getting at. “Is this just about what happened two weeks ago Stan? About, you know, the Covid vaccinations?”

Stan really wished he was able to blow his nose and wipe his eyes now. “You betrayed me. You went behind my back and you lied to me. And then when I confronted you you tried to hide it away as if your needs were greater than mine. And then when I told Cartman and Kenny what you were doing your response was just ‘I thought we were past that’. Again, what I said or thought didn’t matter. Do you know what Cartman told me that night before I found out what you were doing?”

“No,” Kyle’s voice was small.

“He told me I should stand up to you more. He’s right. I don’t stand up for myself often with you as a best friend.”

“But Stan, that can change,” Kyle spoke quietly and desperately.

Stan sniffed loudly as he glared over at him across the pipe. “Don’t you see it Kyle? Why should I trust you? You went behind my back and acted as if it was no big deal. If I were to take you back as my friend what would really change between us? Because as of now, I’m ready to move on. Why is it that when I decide to walk away for once you suddenly want me to come back? Yet you’re allowed to walk off whenever I need you most?”

Neither boy said anything for two very long minutes. Kyle wiped at his face again as he stared at Stan, eyes full of tears. “You want me to be honest Stan?”

“I want to know why you won’t let go when I’m ready to let go,” Stan spoke hoarsely.

Kyle nodded. “Okay, you’re right. I have been a selfish idiot. A poor best friend. But I don’t want to let this go because I care too much about you Stan. We’ve had so many incredible experiences since preschool. And knowing we can have just as many as we get older. Go to middle school. High school… I can already see it Stan.”

Stan stopped struggling at this point, trying to play deaf but still wanting to hear what Kyle had to say. It’s not as if he had much of a choice anyway.

Kyle set the black kitten in front of him now in the pipe. The kitten walked to Stan now and bumped his face with his own. Kyle hung onto the pipe as he looked Stan’s way.

“It sounds awful but I’m co-dependent. I need you just as much as I know you need me. I’m finding I can’t do anything without you there Stan. All this time, all these years… I guess I cared about the wrong things at the wrong times. I never took your feelings into account. I took you for granted. And I’m sorry Stan.”

Stan sniffed as a hot tear rolled down his cheek.

“I sort of thought that being best friends with you meant I could get away with things. Since we’ve always been so close I didn’t think too much about how something might make you feel. I always had it in the back of my mind that you would come crawling back. And I know that is awful to say. It makes you out to be hopeless and helpless and you’re not. You’re just a more emotionally inclined person and I pushed that aside.” Kyle sniffed. “I’m realizing now that it doesn’t matter how close you feel you are to a person, shit can still happen that can cause you both to drift apart. I need to let go but it’s hard to because as you said, you’re the one walking out and I’m not used to it.”

Stan still said nothing as the kitten snuggled by his face, tickling him with his whiskers.

“I haven’t treated you fairly Stan. You’re a person with feelings that I can’t ignore. You aren’t just a problem that needs instant fixing. And that’s where I fucked up.” Kyle felt he was on a roll, he didn’t want to stop. “I attack a problem head on without thinking. You need more time to decompress and think things over. And instead of allowing you to have your space I felt it was up to me to fix it right away. To tell you to just stop feeling your feelings and to stop wallowing away in your own sadness. But that’s not fair to you.”

Stan felt more tears fall down his face. He drew in a shuddered breath, not wanting to talk still.

“It’s okay to be sensitive dude. And I’m sorry for forcing you to ‘get over it’ all this time. I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding when Wendy first broke up with you. I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive in trying to get you to understand your hoarding problem. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when your parents divorced the second time. For expecting you to just walk around happy, like life was good. It wasn’t good. You were in misery and I was being selfish and stupid by being angry with you for feeling this way.” Kyle brushed the tears from his face. “Your parents split. You were misdiagnosed with Asperger’s. And I wasn’t there for you.”

Stan choked on a sob, not wanting Kyle to hear but there wasn’t a way he could stop it from coming now. He was overcome with emotions and memories he didn’t care to revisit.

“I still feel horrible that I lied to you about the PlayStation versus x-box thing . I went behind your back then too and just made things worse. I always make things worse because of the reasons I just gave you. I feel I can treat you like crap, or treat you as if we’re the same person without thinking how something actually affects you. As a stupid six-year-old sure, that makes sense. But we’re ten now Stan and I need to start treating you as your own person and give you space to be yourself and do your own thing and not get angry or even jealous when you do step away from me. See? I’m a fucking co-dependent idiot. I get so jealous whenever you have the possibility of having other friends. Isn’t that pathetic? I was so stupid for being jealous of you and that Mormon kid, Gary. Why? Because I was afraid I’d lose you as a best friend. That you wouldn’t need me anymore. But you’re great like that Stan.” A small smile pulls at the corners of Kyle’s mouth. “You make friends with anyone. You’re so likable and give everyone a chance. It’s okay you have other friends. It’s also okay… if you have a band and I’m not a part of it.”

Stan glanced up now, surprised at this. “What?”

Kyle sighed, avoiding his eyes. “It’s true. I’ve been jealous of your band, Crimson Dawn. I know we tried to recreate the Finger Bang thing for that movie thing but it didn’t pan out and I wasn’t even really a part of it. You have band mates that actually know how to play and you are all really good. I was watching tonight… and the entire time I was just admiring how good you all are. I wasn’t jealous anymore. The way you can both scream-sing and play guitar is an awesome skill. I could never do that.”

Stan sighed and struggled a tiny bit more; it was getting darker and darker outside now, he could barely see Kyle anymore and the kitten had now blended in with the pipe.

Kyle seemed to sense this as well. “What I’m trying to say is I have been a rotten friend lately Stan. I’ve always been afraid of you leaving me that anytime you do step away I get angry. And I took you for granted by thinking I could get away with anything and you would always have my back. I was wrong and I’m sorry. You have every reason to hate me.” Kyle’s eyes misted over once more. “You have every reason to never want to talk to me again. I don’t want it to come to that because I do see us having all kinds of fun together as we get older but if you truly believe in your heart that that isn’t meant to be then I have to accept that. And move on. And let you live your own life.”

Stan said nothing, not knowing where to start after what he had just heard. It was dark and he was cold and it was getting harder to stay in this stupid position in this stupid pipe.

“Kyle…”

Kyle looked up, hopeful. “Yeah Stan?”

“Could you please send for some help now?”

Kyle felt his heart sink. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be right back.”

Stan waited for an exhausting ten minutes for help to show. He could hear crickets chirping now nearby. It was dark and cold; the nearest light was several feet away. He coughed, his body tight and constricted in this small space making his chest burn. Being left alone with nothing but the kitten for company meant Stan had no choice but to think about all Kyle had said. It was a lot to unload. Some of it Stan expected but there were a few things he was surprised by. He wasn’t even sure he had made Kyle out to think these things, being a kid meant a lot of his actions didn’t have a lot of meaning behind it. Of course the easy thing would be to forgive and forget but that was the problem, Stan didn’t want to take the easy way out this time. He was forced to listen to his problems and now forced to think about them. His stupid stubborn self wanted to just ignore it and not give Kyle the satisfaction he ‘won’. But Kyle had been his best friend up until a few weeks ago. He didn’t deserve to be treated so harshly. What was the answer then?

Sirens were heard. Stan’s heart sped up as he listened to them getting closer and closer. He couldn’t see it but it sounded as if they stopped. He heard a few slams of car doors and Kyle was at the front of the pipe again.

“Kyle!”

“Stan! It’s okay, the fire department is here now, they’re going to”-

Kenny’s face appeared now as he shoved Kyle aside. “Ha! Oh my god Stan really? How the hell did you wind up in here? And I thought I did the stupid shit!”

“Stanley? Stanley are you okay?”

Stan groaned as he heard his mother behind Kenny and Kyle now but couldn’t see her.

“Okay everyone, stand aside! We need to get through!” spoke a new voice. The face of a firefighter now appeared at the pipe. “Son? Can you hear me?”

Stan coughed. “Yeah.”

“Okay son, what’s your name? How did you get in there?”

Stan struggled against the pipe. “I was trying to help a kitten I found. Can you-?”

Kyle had an idea; he quickly untied the shoelace from his shoe and threw one end down the pipe. The kitten saw this and got excited. It slammed a paw at the lace. Kyle coaxed it out little by little and grabbed a hold of him safely and stepped aside so the fireman could get to Stan now. They tried throwing in a rope for Stan to hold and pull him out from but he was still too tightly in and the pulling hurt him. After a few minutes of discussion the fire department decided the best way to help Stan was to cut a portion of the pipe to reach him better. This meant having to call and wait another thirty minutes for a worker of the construction company to arrive to operate the machine used to move the heavy pipes around so that the top one Stan was in could safely be set aside and cut through so the other ones wouldn’t topple over. Stan’s face burned from embarrassment at this point but also due to the swinging of the pipe as it was moved, causing his stomach to churn. And so the work began by the fire department as well as the construction worker to diligently cut into the pipe to help Stan. Stan had his face in his arms the entire time so as to protect it in case of any flying debris. Another half hour later the pipe was cut in half enough to reach Stan easier. The fire fighter reached in to try and pry Stan out but it still hurt him too much to move. Stan was now beginning to panic at the thought of never being freed from this thing or that if he were they would need to use heavier machinery that might cut him in half when trying to get him out.

“Okay kid, we’re going to loop this rope around the top half of your body,” the fireman explained to Stan, holding out a rope tied in a special way. “It might be a little trickier to get it around you since we can’t fit in these last couple feet of the pipe to loop it around you but try your best to get it around. Can you do that for us Stan?”

Stan grunted as he tried moving, tears in his eyes and coughing. “It hurts. I can’t breathe. Please let me out…”

“We’re trying kid. You need to help us help you, got that kiddo?”

Kenny suddenly appeared at the front of the pipe. He looked over to the firemen.

“I can try reaching in and looping the rope around him so you can pull him out,” Kenny offered.

The firemen looked at each other and spoke a few words before nodding. The one with the brown mustache passed the rope to Kenny. “Tie this around San’s upper arms. It should be just what we need to help pull him out of the pipe unharmed.”

Kenny grabbed the rope and bent down to look at Stan. “Hey dude, come to rescue you.”

Stan looked over, eyes wide. “Kenny, no! What if you get stuck too?”

“Stuck in two feet of pipe? Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just going to help you okay? Trust me.”

“It hurts. I can’t move. How’s the kitten?”

Kenny glanced behind him. “Kyle has him dude. He’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Now let’s rescue you dude.”

Kenny went on his hands and knees down the couple feet of pipe and was able to successfully loop the rope over Stan’s body as instructed. He crawled back out and with the help of two firemen, they were finally able to pull Stan out. The mustached fireman gathered Stan in his arms and immediately brought him over to the back of an awaiting ambulance. Sharon followed behind, eyes full of worry.

“Stanley? Sweetie, are you hurt?” she asked as the paramedic began taking in Stan’s vitals and an oxygen mask was placed over his face.

“I’m fine… just mortified.”

He stayed in the back of the ambulance for ten more minutes while he was assessed for any injuries. He got some oxygen in as well as a couple puffs of Ventolin and he felt better after, thankfully the only injuries were a couple scrapes and bruises from rubbing against the concrete of the pipe. Finally the circus of people slowly dispersed now that the activity was over. Sharon stepped aside now to take a phone call, leaving Stan with Kenny and Kyle, who was still holding the black kitten. Stan held his hands out to the animal and Kyle dropped him in them.

“You little doofus. All this trouble was your fault. If you just let me get you that first time none of this would have happened.” The kitten kissed Stan with his whiskers, causing the boy to giggle. Kenny smiled and looked at Kyle who couldn’t help but smile back.

Kenny took a step closer now and pet the cat on the head. “So, what now? Keeping him?”

Stan held onto the kitten, thinking very hard, brows furrowed. “No, I don’t think it’s the best idea right now.”

Kyle was surprised at this. “Really? But you found him. You heard him in the construction site when others might have turned away. Maybe it’s a sign Stan.”

Stan could feel a tug on his heartstrings; his own eyes stinging. “I can’t. It’s too soon.” He looked at Kenny. “I can’t do it.”

Kenny patted his arm in a knowing way. “That’s fine dude. I get it. You don’t need to rush it. We can drop him off with the ladies from the shelter that helped out tonight. How does that sound?”

Stan could only nod and he followed after his mother to the front of the park to hand the kitten over. Kenny was by his side as he did so, Kyle trailing behind but thankfully not being told to get lost from Stan this time. Stan gave the kitten one last hug and handed him over. He felt a hand on his back from Kenny.

“It’ll be okay Stan. It’s healthy to be able to let go even if it’s hard.”

Stan’s eyes twinkled like the stars above. “You think so?”

Kenny nodded over to Kyle now. Kyle cleared his throat. “It’s going to be okay Stan. I know you’re still hurting. Take…all the time you need.”

Stan sniffed loudly with a watery smile. “Thank-you.”

Sharon arrived a few minutes later with root beer floats from the hot dog stand for the boys as a treat. All three of them took up a spot on the cold grass to look up at the deep blue skies high above as they enjoyed their dessert. Kyle pointed above them.

“See that star there? That’s Sirius. The dog star.”

Kenny looked at Stan, nervous he was going to react negatively. Thankfully-

“Wow. It looks so bright tonight. Amazing,” Stan said in awe, slowly bringing his spoon to his lips.

Kenny glanced back up, a smile playing on his lips “Amazing.”

The three sat in silence for the remainder of their root beer floats. Stan looked at Kenny before looking to Kyle. He rubbed the back of his head.

“Just so you know, I’m not fully ready to”-

“It’s fine. Take all the time you need,” Kyle cut across from him. “If we ever get back to that place again, great. If not, I’ll respect that too. But just so you know Stan, I’m always going to care about you. No matter what you decide.”

Stan felt a lump in his throat. He got to his feet now, the others doing the same. They tossed their cups into the trash as Sharon made the announcement she was going to drive them back home. Stan gave Kenny a mischievous grin now and turned to look at Kyle.

“Say Kyle, have you ever made a make-shift dentist mirror to spy on people?”

Kenny laughed now and clapped a hand on Stan’s back at Kyle’s confused but equally intrigued expression. Next visit to the Marsh house would be a lot better than the last. And Kyle might even be included in it this time.