Chapter Text
Sora didn't return to the hospital for nearly a week. Exusiai dropped by the day after Texas awoke, only to be told that she wasn't seeing visitors yet. As soon as she was, Exusiai took the day off to be with her. It was a couple more days before Sora felt comfortable going back to the hospital.
After spending so much of her time in that building, only to have some time away, returning to the hospital felt odd to Sora. The building was the same as it ever was, but it still felt irrevocably different.
She checked in at the front desk, then hurried up the stairs. Before heading to Texas's room, she stopped in the bathroom. After making sure there weren't any witnesses around, she dropped her illusory appearance. As she stood in front of Texas's door, Sora gripped the handle tightly. She took a few heavy breaths, then turned it and entered. With a smile, she waved.
Texas waved back. “Hey. You look different.” Sora flinched, but didn't drop her smile. As she took a seat next to the bed, she said, “Yeah, well… It's a long story.” Texas nodded. “I've heard. Exu and I have been talking. Sounds like I missed a lot. Lailah’s had her own stories to tell, too.”
Sora cocked her head inquisitively. “Lailah? Who's that?” Texas blinked a few times, then bit her lip. “Lailah? She had a lot to say about you. You know, the nurse assigned to this room?” Sora stared at Texas blankly, before her face began to turn scarlet. “I… never asked her for her name. And now I feel awful.”
Texas started chuckling. “She wears a name tag.” Sora's blush grew deeper, and as it did, Texas's sounds of amusement grew to match it. Sora stammered, but couldn't find the words to reply. Eventually, Texas gathered herself. She took a deep breath, then returned to her typical steely expression. “Thanks, Sora. I needed that.” She groaned. “Okay, what I really need is a cigarette.”
Sora sighed. “I don't think you do. Mostima and Phoenix are back in town and it reminded me of just how bad the smell can be.”
“Cut me some slack. I just got hit by a car.”
“You got hit by a car several weeks ago. And besides, I would think that poor health would only be more reason to stay away from cigarettes.”
“Well, if you can find something that takes the edge off like cigarettes without the harm, then I'll consider it. But the damage to my lungs is already done, probably.”
“That's not how it works, Texas.”
For lack of a followup, Sora didn't respond. To prevent the awkward silence that she saw coming, Texas coughed. “I heard that you were here pretty much every day while I was out. You really didn't have to do that for me. Not like I was a good conversation partner.” Sora gripped the hem of her skirt. “No, I… I couldn't really think of a better way to handle this. I think I had to.” Texas eyed Sora, then dismissed her with a shrug. “You know yourself better than I do.” This time, when they found themselves unable to speak, Texas didn't force it. Several minutes later, when she felt it was right, she spoke. “I heard about it from Exusiai, but I want to hear it from you, too. What's up with the wings?”
“That's… I already said it's a long story.”
“I've got time
“Well… The most obvious part doesn't even feel like it bears mentioning. You always knew the Lupo look was Arts, right?”
Texas nodded. “Yeah. I never felt like you were trying to hide that part. I just never knew what. I almost assumed you were an Aegir or something weirder than that.”
“An Aegir?”
“Yeah.” Texas shrugged. “There's all sorts of weird rumors about them, like that one rock band everyone loves, or that they're all evil cultists. I don't really believe that tabloid garbage, but it's a compelling reason for a pop idol to hide her identity.”
“I suppose that makes more sense than being… a Sankta.” Texas nodded again. “Yeah. For that kind of thing, it has to be personal. So why's it personal?”
Sora gripped her dress tighter. She had come here ready to talk about this, but it didn't make it any easier. “It's all childhood bullshit, I guess. I'm still just a kid running away from home because she doesn't like what mommy told her to do.”
“That's bullshit.”
Sora blinked. “What?”
“You're not a kid. I've seen you fight, I've seen you perform, hell, the way you were talking to Exusiai the other day- Kids don't talk like that. Give yourself some credit.”
Sora smiled slightly. “Alright, fine. I don't like being seen as a Sankta. I don't want to be known as some religious gun-wielding psycho. I just want to be Sora.”
“Sure.”
The curt reply left Sora off-guard. Still, she continued, “Maybe if I'd had a happier childhood, I wouldn't think this way, but I don't think that matters much. No matter as to why, I don't want to be associated as a Sankta. So I built a career on that lie. Worked out pretty well for me, I think.”
“Uh huh. You know, I was raised pretty religious, too. And then childhood stuff sorta pushed me away from it. By the time I was watching my mom wither away and die, telling her that it was all according to the Goddess’s plans and that all would be alright, it was bullshit. I didn't believe it. I still don't believe it. But I said it because people around me wanted to hear it. And that was it for me with religion for about twenty years. I celebrated the major festivals with Lappland when we lived together, but that stopped when we broke up. But with Exusiai…” Texas chuckles. “She did a good job of reminding me why people are that way. I still can't really say I believe, but she's made me more spiritual. Maybe there's a God up there protecting me, and maybe that's why I survived. I don't really care either way. But it's sorta nice to think about despite that.”
Texas noticed Sora's sour expression and waved her down. “But don't take that as condemnation of your feelings. I get it. That sort of thing doesn't really work for me anymore, but I'm not trying to convince you to believe. I don't really believe, so I'd do a shit job of it. But… I find that sort of thing comforting.” Texas groaned. “I'm blaming this on the painkillers. I never talk this much.”
Sora smiled and wiped her eyes. “No, it's fine. I… It's fine.”
Texas nodded, then shrugged. “Sure. Hey, Sora?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for being here. I couldn't really appreciate it at the time, but I'm glad you were here. You didn't have to do that.”
“I… I think I had to. And I'm glad I did. Having that time cleared my head a lot. Plus, it let me work through some of the books gathering dust on my shelf.” She turned away for a moment, then turned back. “So I thought I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be good now. I'm gonna start acting the way I know I should now.” Finally, she loosened the grip on her dress.” Her face fell. “Sorry. I guess you don't need to hear this stuff. Better saved for a therapist, if I can ever find one I like.”
Texas snorted. “Sora, I don't mind. We're friends. You shouldn't apologize for being open with me. I'm glad you're feeling better. And, hell, I'm glad I'm getting a chance to talk to you. To say thanks for being here. That really means a lot to me.” Sora couldn't help but blush.
“Hey Texas, I…” Sora closed her eyes. “I would say I love you, but saying it out loud is hard, so I won't say it at all.”
“And I won't tell you I appreciate that you could finally say it.”
For a number of minutes, they sat together in a comfortable silence. Sora was reluctant to do so, but eventually she stood up and gathered her bag. “Sorry, but I have somewhere I need to be. I'll stop by after work, if you're still seeing visitors. Um, excuse me.” She channel arts quickly and reapplied her illusory appearance. Texas lifted her hand weakly in a gesturing approximating a wave. “See you later.” Sora bowed. “See you later.”
As Sora sat in the lobby, she cursed herself for leaving so quickly. Her manager had ordered her a taxi to the studio, but it was still a few minutes away, so she was waiting for that to arrive. It had been announced earlier that day that her hiatus was ending, so she had a lot of questions to answer, but posting replies on social media was far from a riveting way to pass the time. So Sora set down her phone. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, a tension was finally loosened. In the lobby, Sora laughed.