Chapter Text
“‘Late last night, two bodies were found in Graychapel, killed by the Purple Hyacinth. The bodies were later discovered to be Ashton Davis and Poppy Banes. The Purple Hyacinth left a message, stating that the pair was Lune, the infamous vigilante pair. Officials have checked and identified the bodies, confirming that Lune is, in fact, dead.’”
Hermann set down the newspaper, looking around at all of the precinct workers. His eyes caught on Lauren for a brief second, his scowl deepening momentarily before moving his gaze away from her.
“Well, we don’t have Lune to deal with anymore. So, I expect you all to not treat them as martyrs and to do your jobs. Dismissed,” he said, everyone instantly standing and grouping together to chat about the news. Lauren and Kieran glanced at each other from across the room, a small smile on both of their faces.
They had done it.
“Well, it seems you’re free from the APD and the Scythe for a little while,” Kym whispered from behind her, her arm suddenly pulling down Lauren’s neck. She laughed, shaking her head and spotting Will just beside Kym.
“Couldn’t have done it without you two,” Lauren said truthfully. Kym and Will had been a huge help in finding people to match Lauren and Kieran’s descriptions and to plan out the scene, which wouldn’t have been comfortable for either of them, but they still willingly helped. They still didn’t trust Kieran, that was for sure.
But it seemed that they weren’t as cautious around him nor as hostile. Lauren took that as a step in the right direction.
“Lauren speaks the truth.”
Kieran walked up from behind Lauren, giving her a small, familiar smile. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed his smile, genuine though slightly cocky. Just as Kieran always was. Lauren rolled her eyes.
“Yes, yes, I know, subordinate,” she said under her breath, turning back to Kym and Will, who were both watching their interaction with particular interest, mainly Kym. Lauren raised an eyebrow at them. Kym simply sighed in resignation and Will shook his head, exasperated. Lauren glanced at Kieran and he caught her eye, shrugging.
As Lauren studied him, she could see that he had been sleeping better since gaining his memories four days ago. Lauren still stayed at his apartment most of the day when she wasn’t working, making sure his wounds were healing properly before she could return home. And while he still had the occasional nightmare, he handled them better and could calm himself down without her help. Which eventually ended up with Kieran forcing her to go back to her uncle’s house and get some actual sleep.
Somehow, it pained Lauren to know that he had learned to handle his nightmares. Because that meant that he dealt with them so often, he had no choice but to learn to cope.
“Sinclair, stop dawdling and get back to work,” Hermann called from the door of the meeting room, Lauren just now realizing the room was empty except for her and her company of three. Lauren didn’t miss that she was the only one who had been scolded when Kym, Will, and Kieran were all beside her, but she had expected as much. As soon as he closed the door and was no longer in sight, Lauren flipped him off. He couldn’t see it, of course, but it still felt relieving to do.
“Wow, still no less harsh on you,” Kym said with a wince. Lauren rolled her eyes, shaking her head.
“Whatever, he’s never going to change. I should probably go back before he gives me more work to do,” she sighed, turning away from the group, but they immediately joined her as she left the room. She couldn’t help the small smile across her lips, knowing she had people to have her back.
Kieran walked them to the officer’s room, Kym and Will walking in first. Lauren was about to follow when Kieran tugged on her wrist, his eyes nervous when she looked up at him.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you after work. At the apartment?” he said, posing his words as more of a question than a statement. Lauren raised an eyebrow, curious. Studying his features further, she realized he was scared.
Terrified, even.
“Yeah, that’s fine. We can walk there together after work. I’ll be done in a couple hours,” Lauren said, giving him a small smile. Both her words and smile eased his worries, his shoulder relaxing slightly, but his mind still racing.
Gods, he was really doing this.
“Alright. I’ll see you then,” he said, nodding and stuffing his hands in his pockets as he turned away and practically ran to the archives. Lauren watched him go, now more concerned than before. He wanted to talk to her but left as quickly as possible? What was going on? Was he worried about something? Was he going to tell her something she wouldn’t like?
She shook her head. Standing there would only earn her a scolding from Hermann and it wouldn’t answer her questions. For now, she would have to wait a couple of hours and push it out of her mind.
***
Two hours passed like two weeks.
Every time Lauren glanced up at the clock, only a few minutes had passed. It felt like she was back at high school, waiting for the stupid bell to ring so she could go home.
Finally, finally , Will dismissed them. Lauren stood up and gathered her stuff within seconds, rushing out the door and heading straight towards the archives.
Kym watched Lauren leave in a rush, catching her turn towards the archives before the door closed. Will approached her, crossing his arms beside her as he stared at the door as well.
“We should go after her,” Will said, his overly-protective-big-brother voice coming out. Kym sighed, shaking her head.
“As reckless and adventurous as I am, there’s nothing we can do, Will,” Kym said, silently accepting defeat. “Kieran likes her. He said so himself and no matter what he thinks,” she said with a heavy sigh, “she likes him too.”
“He’s a mass murderer,” Will grumbled, still in protective brother mode. Kym nodded dejectedly.
“I know. But she trusts him. And with her ability, I trust her intuition,” Kym said, letting out a long exhale. “I don’t trust Kieran completely. But I trust that he won’t hurt her and that he won’t let anything happen to her.”
Will simply grunted, unable to refute her statement but also refusing to accept it and say it aloud. He did trust that Kieran would risk his own life for Lauren. But he didn’t trust that Kieran wouldn’t hurt Lauren emotionally, whether he meant to or not.
And Will didn’t ever want Lauren to get hurt.
***
Kieran heard the door to the archives open and immediately knew it was Lauren. He peeked his head out from between bookshelves, Lauren’s eyes instantly locking on him. Her brows were furrowed with concern and she leaned against the bookshelf as he organized the last of the files for the day.
“Did you lock the doors to the archives on purpose?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Kieran chuckled lightly.
“If you had snuck in any earlier, you would’ve been caught by Hermann and, really, you don’t want that,” he said teasingly. Lauren scoffed but smiled, shaking her head.
“Aww, you really do care,” she drawled, a gleam of amusement in her eyes. Kieran merely shrugged, resuming his work, but Lauren didn’t miss his small smile.
“How was work?” Kieran asked, placing the last file on the shelf and walking past her to gather his things. Lauren followed, sighing.
“T’was fine,” she said with an eye roll. “Couldn’t get much done, but whatever. I’ll do extra tomorrow.” Kieran laughed, turning to her with his coat in one arm and his bag on the other shoulder.
“Distracted, are you?” he quipped, leading her out of the archives, holding the door open for her. Lauren smacked his shoulder on the way out, scoffing.
“Not at all, subordinate,” she lied, walking beside him as they left the precinct building, heading towards Kieran’s apartment.
They walked in silence, neither of them saying anything as the tension grew between them the closer they came to the apartment. Lauren’s mind was racing, trying to decipher what the reason for Kieran’s nervousness was. Did something happen with the Scythe? Did he get new orders? Did the Scythe not fall for their act?
Or was it something else? Maybe Kieran was going to explain the drawing room to her. He hadn’t mentioned a word of it since he got his memories back, though she noticed he hadn’t kept the door locked while she stayed at his apartment. Her thoughts didn’t stop spiraling, more and more possibilities filling her mind.
Kieran, on the other hand, felt like he was going to throw up. He had thought that the walk would allow him time to compose himself before arriving at the apartment, but he had been so wrong. Now, he was just panicking, wishing for the hundredth time that he hadn’t asked Lauren to come along, that he would simply tell her that he wanted to walk her to her house and make sure she got home safely. That he had misspoken when he had asked for her presence earlier.
But it was too late. Lauren would see right through him, with or without her ability. And she was bound to see how nervous he was, no matter how much she tried to hide it. She’d know something was definitely wrong if he turned her away now.
It was better to get this over with now so she understood exactly what she was dealing with by being partnered with him.
Their silence stayed with them as Kieran took out his apartment key, unlocking the door and stepping inside, allowing Lauren in before closing it behind her. They both hung their coats on their usual hooks, setting their work bags on the ground next to their shoes. Kieran finished putting his stuff down before Lauren and moved to the kitchen, heating his stove to boil water. For tea, Lauren thought, knowing he wouldn’t let her drink coffee this late (though it was only five in the evening). She sat at his table, waiting for him to finish, a question nagging heavily on her mind.
“Kieran, do you regret having your memories back?”
Kieran stiffened, nearly spilling hot tea on himself. He set the cups aside, turning to Lauren with a determined look on his face.
“Nope,” he said confidently, popping the “p” loudly. Lauren tilted her head, a single eyebrow raised.
“Even after everything that you remember? You’d rather have your memories than a second chance at a new life?” she asked, needing to know his full, true answer. Kieran shrugged, a small smile on his face.
“The good memories made it worth it,” he said truthfully. Lauren’s eyes widened upon hearing no lies, wondering what memories could possibly be good enough to negate the horrors he had gone through in his lifetime.
“What memories made it worth it?” Lauren asked curiously, leaning forward in her seat. Kieran could tell she was eagerly awaiting answers and chuckled softly. This part, he didn’t have to hide or lie about.
Plus, it made what he had planned on saying a bit easier.
“Well, my early childhood memories were happy, even if we were poor,” Kieran started, recognizing that sympathetic gleam in Lauren’s eyes. He continued before she could say anything. “I have many good memories with my parents, but mainly with Celine.” He couldn’t help the small smile on his face, always appearing when he thought about his sister.
As long as he didn’t think too much about her.
“After the whole Scythe mess and becoming the Hyacinth, there aren’t any good memories, per se, but there were… peaceful ones. Which was as close to happiness as I could get,” he explained solemnly, now looking at the ground, unable to hold Lauren’s gaze anymore.
“What about now?” Lauren asked quietly, her whisper of a voice echoing through the silent apartment. Kieran found that looking up at her was easier this time, a small, genuine smile on his face.
“This might sound cheesy, detective, but since meeting you, I’ve made quite a few good memories.”
Gods, why did he say that? Looking at the shocked look on Lauren’s face, he knew he admitted something too obvious. He quickly turned away, beginning to busy himself with the tea, taking extra time to add honey and stir.
Kieran sensed Lauren standing and moving from her seat, her footsteps quiet but not completely silent like Kieran’s. He could practically feel her draw closer, her presence like a beacon that shined warmth, something that scared him beyond words. He refused to turn around, to look at her after what he had just said. He might as well have just confessed to her then and there.
“Kieran.”
Gods, the way she said his name could’ve made him fall to his knees. But he simply hummed instead, unable to answer her verbally.
“Kieran, what did you want to talk about?”
Her voice was right behind him, so close he swore he could feel her breathing on the back of his neck. Or perhaps he was just imagining that because she was so close. Kieran opened his mouth to speak, his voice choking upon remembering his promise to Kym.
But she would never feel the same. I won’t ever do anything.
That’s what he had said. And yet, here he was, dropping the spoon in one of the mugs and slowly turning to Lauren, bracing his hands on the counter pressing into his lower back. Here he was, preparing himself to say things that he could never take back, that would change them forever. He could hide it, he could give her half-truths, he knew how.
But he didn’t think he could go any longer without telling her.
“Lauren,” he started, sucking in a breath when Lauren took a step closer, their toes almost touching. Kieran swallowed and continued. “You… must know that you mean a lot to me.” His throat, at the worst time possible, decided to choke up. So, he waited for her answer. Lauren simply raised an eyebrow, looking at him curiously.
“And you also know that you mean a lot to me too, Kieran,” she said, so casually that it convinced Kieran she meant it in a completely different way than he did. And still, he forced himself to speak.
“We’ve been through a lot together. And in the time I’ve gotten to know you, you’ve… shown me that not all of humanity is bad,” he said hesitantly, his voice dropping to a whisper, but still loud enough that Lauren could hear. He wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him, but it seemed as though she had gotten closer.
“Really? I, the ex-detective with an out-of-tune moral compass, taught you that humanity isn’t all bad?” Lauren asked, her tone slightly teasing. Kieran recognized her attempt to lighten his nervousness and, surprisingly, it did, his shoulders relaxing the tiniest amount. He chuckled lightly at her response.
“Yes, really. Sure, you’re stubborn and sometimes impulsive,” he quipped and she laughed, the sound like the sweet summer wind on a sunny day. “But you’re also kind and selfless and understanding. You fight for those you care about and you throw your life in harm’s way if it means your loved ones are safe.” Lauren raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her face.
“Wow, so many compliments in one sentence. Unheard of, Mr. White,” she said with a laugh. She was definitely closer now, the socks covering her always-cold feet touching his bare ones. Her face a mere foot from his.
“You know, you’re not really helping me say what I want to say,” Kieran remarked. Lauren chuckled, tilting her head at him. This whole time, she wore a smile, a genuine, anticipating smile.
“And what do you want to say?”
A pause, allowing Kieran to gain his courage. It was only three words. What was so hard about it?
Because of everything that could go wrong.
And everything that could go right.
Kieran pushed those thoughts aside, looking Lauren straight in her eyes. Golden pools that embodied everything about her. The eyes that gave away her emotions, even when she tried hiding them. The eyes that told him that, right now, she was almost as nervous as he was.
So, he forced the words out of his mouth, finding they came out easier than he expected.
“I love you.”
Lauren, if anything, looked even more nervous. She was so close now, their breaths mingling in the inches separating them. Kieran was so lost in the sight of her that his eyes drifted to her lips before he could correct himself.
Only to find that Lauren was doing the same thing, bringing her eyes back up to his a second later.
“Are you sure?” she asked quietly, her tone hesitant and unsure, so unlike Lauren that Kieran was struck by how nervous she was. Kieran managed a small smile, the barest lift of his lips but still there.
“ Unfortunately, yes,” he teased. Lauren smiled then, a soft laugh escaping her lips.
Before she pressed her lips to his.
It was a simple brush of the lips, nothing Kieran should’ve been nearly collapsing over. But he was completely washed over in the touch of her lips to his. He felt her pull away just slightly, the kiss barely counting as one and yet, he still felt like he was about to combust.
“I love you too.”
Kieran, still completely overtaken by the kiss, snapped back to reality, processing her words. His mouth opened, speaking words before he could ever fully process her declaration.
“How can–”
“Because I can,” Lauren interrupted softly, her hands gently cupping his face as if he was something precious to be cherished. “Because I don’t see you as the man you see yourself as. Because I see you as Kieran White. Brave, selfless, stubborn, regretful, deserving of happiness. I see all of that. And I choose you.”
Kieran couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t. He was taught all his life that he wasn’t deserving of affection, that he would never find someone that could accept, or even look, at him because of his sins.
And yet, here she was. The burning flame that had the power to consume him and yet, she, instead, stayed beside him, keeping him warm, providing comfort and care that he never received since childhood.
“Are you sure?” he asked worriedly, repeating her question back at him. She gave him a soft smile, pressing her forehead to his.
“Unfortunately, yes,” she teased.
“And you won’t regret anything?”
“I’m fairly sure I won’t,” Lauren said, her voice full of conviction, so much so that Kieran didn’t need her ability to know she was telling the truth. Kieran pulled away from her just enough to hold her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks.
“Then, may I kiss you again?” he asked, suddenly as nervous as he had been moments ago.
Before Lauren smiled, the smile that melted him into mush and left his heart in a puddle.
“You may.”
He wasn’t sure who moved first, but their lips met in the middle. A multitude of sensations burst from the kiss as his eyes fluttered closed. One of Lauren’s hands moved from his cheek to the back of his neck, tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. Kieran offered no resistance, one of his arms now around her waist, pressing her closer to him.
If he had been stunned by her kiss earlier, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. He didn’t think that he could recall a happier time in his life. Not when the person he loved was here, in his arms, kissing him, loving him the way he loved her.
How could her lips fit so perfectly with his? How could he sense every touch as her hands moved from his cheek to his shoulder to his arm, pulling him closer, closer, seemingly not able to get close enough? He wanted to melt into her, let her take him as her own, never belonging to anyone else.
He was hers and only hers.
His lips parted from hers only for him to bring them to her jaw, peppering kisses along her jawline before kissing her cheek, both of them breathless. Lauren’s eyes were still closed and Kieran tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled, the smile that could tear his heart apart and put it back together again.
“Are you sure this isn’t a dream, love?” Kieran asked teasingly, his voice quiet and soft but he needn’t be louder. She could hear the tiniest whisper from him. Lauren ran her fingers through his hair, making Kieran’s knees weak at the simple yet affectionate touch.
“I promise, mon coeur, ” she said just as softly, pressing a tender kiss to his lips before pulling away. “It’s not a dream.” Kieran simply returned her smile, sighing contentedly.
“Good. Because I don’t want to give my speech again.”
Lauren laughed, the sound warming the entire room, and Kieran chuckled along with her before quieting her laughs with another kiss.
While their first (real) kiss had been almost like testing the waters, this kiss was languid, knowing they had all the time in the world to drown in each other. Neither of them were in any hurry nor were they thinking about the multitude of things that needed to get done in the next couple of weeks.
No. They both decided to enjoy their moment together, not knowing when they would have this time to themselves before something else hit them. They knew, better than anyone, that time together was precious and scarcely joyful. So, they would make the most out of what they could get.
It could’ve been minutes or hours until they finally separated, both of them breathing heavily, but happy beyond belief. Careful of his injuries, Lauren hugged Kieran around his waist, pressing her cheek to his chest. She felt Kieran laugh softly as he wrapped his arms around her, as if protecting her from some unseen force. Here, she felt safe. Here, she felt loved.
Here, it felt like home.
Actually, thinking of home…
“Tristan and Dakan want to meet you over dinner sometime soon,” Lauren teased, staying pressed against Kieran, not wanting to move. Kieran chuckled.
“Really? I imagine they would like to interrogate me,” he remarked. Lauren laughed, shaking her head slightly.
“That’s what they do. But I’m sure they’ll warm up to you,” she replied, knowing Tristan and Dakan trusted her, especially when it came to her romantic partners.
“What are we going to tell them about my sickness?” Kieran asked, his tone tinged with amusement. Lauren groaned.
“Just say that you got food poisoning,” she grumbled.
“Telling them about the amnesia isn’t a very good option,” Kieran commented. Lauren nodded.
“That would be hell to explain and I’d be questioned for lying to them, so… nope.”
Kieran was silent before Lauren felt him press a kiss to the top of her head. She couldn’t help the smile on her face, no matter how much she wanted to temper it down.
“Thank you, mon amour. For everything.”
Lauren pulled away just enough to look at him, smiling softly at him.
“Of course, mon coeur. I’ll always be here for you,” she said, knowing that she meant to keep that promise until the day she died. Kieran smiled, pressing his forehead to hers, sighing in bliss as his eyes fluttered closed.
“How lucky I am, mon amour. Even when lost, I have you.”