Chapter Text
She stumbled and collapsed halfway on the bed and laid her head down by Sasha’s stomach while sobs came in violent waves. She clung onto Sasha’s side, it’d take a literal tyrant king to get her away from her. Anne regretted leaving, that was apparent, and she has no idea if it was actually best that she did. But she made sure to stay by Sasha’s side now, even if she wasn’t conscious enough to see that.
“Stumpy said they had to uh… remove it. Her eye.”
Anne looked back and met Grime’s awkward expression. He obviously didn’t know how to deliver the news which Anne understood. She barely gave any response and turned back to Sasha. Her hands came up to brush through the blonde hair, whatever was left unshaved at least.
“Here, sit down.” Grime’s voice came from another place in the room and soon enough the sound of a wooden chair dragging along the floor pierced Anne’s ears. She didn’t notice how heightened her senses were until now.
“I-I'm ok. Can I at least take her to lay in her bed?” Anne’s eyes were tired and blank- dark, even. It was enough to scare Grime compared to the girl’s usual bright and lively eyes.
“Sure, do you want me to carry her-“
“No.”
Anne’s response was immediate and sharp. She wasn’t risking leaving Sasha in anyone else’s hands except her own. She’d stick by that now after regrettably not doing so the first time.
“Ok. Well, I’ll help you to her room then.”
Shortly after, Anne found herself carefully scooping up Sasha’s body with every tender bone in her body. She feared a hold slightly too bold would shatter Sasha into smithereens. Sasha gave no response to the movement and Anne got her into a comfortable enough position to begin heading to her room.
Grime led the way with a hand to Anne’s back in order to keep her from getting lost behind. It was a gesture Anne greatly appreciated as she found herself zoning out and forgetting where she was. Her attention was kept entirely on Sasha and her breathing.
The toad removed some of the mess that Sasha had left in the cot and helped Anne set her down on the makeshift mattress. Neither of them had ever seen Sasha so frail and lifeless, even Grime who had to help Sasha after her fall from Toad Tower. “I’ll give you some space. Do call if you need anything.”
Anne knew she should thank Grime for all the help he provided, but it was probably midnight by now and she didn’t have the mental strength to reply. She just wanted to lay beside Sasha and make sure nothing like this ever happened again. Ever.
When Grime left and closed the door, Anne was left alone with Sasha whose breathing was still sort of a wheeze. She figured it might be good to put a shirt on her to cover her bandages, so Anne found her backpack somewhere in the room and pulled out a spare t-shirt. It was on the bigger side, but she felt as though now would be an appropriate time for that. She crawled into bed with Sasha and kept her injured friend between herself and the wall so she wouldn’t somehow fall out of the bed.
She sat with her legs crossed and just examined Sasha for a while until she felt strong enough to gently lift Sasha’s head. She managed to get the shirt through her head and her arms through their respective holes until all Anne had to do was carefully lift Sasha’s back to finalize the transition. Surprisingly none of it stirred Sasha awake which was something Anne both appreciated and despised at the same time.
She was so close to losing Sasha today. If even one little thing went differently, she might not be lucky enough to feel Sasha’s heartbeat against her palm now that it rested over her chest. Anne lowered her head and put her forehead right above Sasha’s, keeping it from actually contacting as to avoid pain. “I’m so sorry…”
Her apologies were repeated until the words no longer sounded right when she spoke them. It was odd having Sasha be unresponsive, she was always so active and out there, yet now she lay here at the mercy of fate. Anne knew she was crying and that her own tears were staining the brand-new shirt Sasha wore, but that was okay. She was crying for reasons that weren’t mournful, which she found to be enough of a reason to accept her emotions as they came. She brushed Sasha’s hair and caressed her cheeks, even placed a gentle kiss here and there to her forehead and nose. All with tears that expressed her silent sorries.
Anne now held onto Sasha’s hand and brought it up to her own cheek, though the hand she held was limp and failed to provide that comfort she was seeking. Still, she held onto it and pressed kisses to the knuckles before letting her forehead rest against it. She had her eyes closed and remained in that position for a while, wallowing in the events of the day. That was until she felt the limp hand slowly regain its integrity with the twitch of a finger.
“Sash?” She opened her eyes and looked at the hand she held move on its own and later followed the small sound Sasha made- meeting her eyes. Except instead of seeing the usual welcoming and loving warmth in her eyes, Anne saw pain and disbelief.
Sasha retracted her hand and furrowed her brow which she found to be a bad idea. She reached to touch the right side of her face but Anne held onto her wrist before she could do so, causing Sasha to flinch and stare at her with a wide eye.
“Hey, it’s okay… No one is trying to hurt you. I’m not trying to hurt you.”
Sasha didn’t seem to believe it. She still looked distrustful and kept her distance from Anne, who had since let go of her wrist. There was an attempt to counter what Anne had said, but Sasha’s throat hurt just from trying to make a sound. Her words came out more as a whimper followed by a painful wince.
Noticing this, Anne figured it was probably from how much she fought and screamed- breaking her heart all over again.
“I’ll uh, I’ll get you some water," Anne wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and stood up. She could tell Sasha was being distant with her and it’s not like Anne couldn’t understand why. Guilt was certainly prominent there but there’s no way for Anne to turn back time and try again. Besides, staying might have been even worse for the both of them.
Sasha shook her head slowly after Anne asked if it was okay for her to leave, though it was barely more than a twitch. She may have been confused and hurt, but she knew she didn’t want Anne to leave again. It was frustrating not having her voice to communicate or her full face to express emotions, so Sasha relied entirely on Anne’s ability to read her. And so far, it was working.
“Do you mind if I ask someone else to get you water? I’ll stay in the room the whole time.”
This time Sasha nodded, and Anne responded with a faint, forced smile before peeking her head out for anyone walking by. Thankfully Grime seemed to have stayed close by and was able to hear Anne call out to him.
“How is she?” He asked in a whisper, keeping himself out of view from Sasha.
“She lost her voice and seems to be in pain… but so far she's awake. I'm starting to think that maybe I should’ve stayed with her-“
“No, I understand where you’re coming from Anne, but I promise you there is nothing worse than seeing someone you love go through something like that.”
Anne sighed and looked back at Sasha who had closed her eye again after turning to her side. Maybe Grime was right, but it didn’t help with the guilt weighing down on her shoulders, “I know. I just- she probably thinks I didn’t care enough to stay…”
“Well, that’s a consequence of our choices. Remind her you’re here now.”
No duh, this was all things Anne already knew but she figured it was nice to hear someone say it again. She heard Sasha grumble at something and was reminded of why she called out to Grime in the first place, “Oh uh, could you get her some water, please? Maybe some soup or one of Stumpy’s noodles if he’s still up…”
“Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can. In the meantime, don’t let yourself get too worried about the ‘what if’s’ of today, okay? Sasha is strong and she’ll get through this, especially with you by her side. Make sure she knows that too.”
Anne nodded in understanding and gave Grime a halfhearted smile before they departed. She closed the door again and walked over to where Sasha lay rubbing the side of her head that was recently trimmed with a grimace. The hair there was short and fuzzy which Sasha seemed to notice, at least the rest remained the same.
“I’m guessing they had to do that to stitch you up, at least it’ll grow back…" She spoke, catching Sasha’s attention before it was purposely redirected to the wall. Unsure if Sasha was comfortable having Anne on the bed with her, Anne stood in the center of the room whilst fiddling with her own hands anxiously.
“You know I didn’t want to leave you, right? I- I would’ve stayed but Grime said it would be better if I didn’t and that maybe you’d feel less reliant on me or something but-” Anne took a moment to catch her breath as she felt her eyes burn with imminent tears, “ I only left because I thought it’d be best…” she was crying again as explanations spewed out desperately. She didn’t need Sasha to forgive her but she needed to know that Sasha didn’t think of Anne as someone who abandoned her- someone who didn’t care enough to stay.
Sasha on the other hand, turned to her with an inquisitive look and put her hand up to get Anne to stop rambling. She then patted the empty side of the mattress before turning around again. Anne took the invitation as a few sniffles escaped her, though she kept her hands to herself. She figured there was no good use in comforting Sasha with touches at the moment. If anything, it’d probably make it worse.
“You know I’d never abandon you, right?” She turned her head to face Sasha, but she wasn’t given any sort of response. Not a hum, no thumbs up and not even a head nod. She got nothing. It was enough to tell her that not even Sasha knew- to Anne, her hesitation was indication she’d failed her best friend.
For the rest of the time until Grime returned, Anne stayed silent. She wiped a tear here and there but for the most part she focused on Sasha’s breathing. Their backs were turned to each other which she wasn’t used to anymore, but she was lucky enough that Sasha let her stay in the room at all.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Sasha whipped around to stare at the direction of the sound. She did her best to sit up and scooch closer to the wall in fear and let out ragged breaths like a caged animal. Sasha looked at Anne with that same pleading look in her eye as if Anne was the only thing standing between her and death.
“It’s okay… It’s just Grime with your water. I’ll get it,” Anne reassured, putting her hands out in surrender so Sasha knew she meant every word. She walked over to the door and thanked Grime for his help before setting the bottle of water down in front of Sasha. The food bowl was placed on the table for later, she doubted Sasha would have much of an appetite anyways.
“Do you need me to help you with that?”
Hesitantly, Sasha sighed and allowed Anne to help her sit up. She was still unsure on whether or not she wanted Anne’s comfort. She knew she needed her assistance, but that’s as far as Sasha was willing to go. So, she let Anne lift the bottle up to her mouth and slowly tilted it so she could drink. At first it hurt considering the new scar ran all the way down to her jaw and her lip was busted. Moving it now was excruciating but she was too thirsty to pass this down.
The water helped soothe some of the roughness in her throat and Sasha laid down again- completely exhausted. Everything hurt and the searing pain under the bandages accompanied by the ache that pounded inside her head didn’t make it any more bearable. She was alive though, at least there was that.
Anne thought Sasha was just laying down again to avoid facing her, but after a few moments of utter silence, she had the feeling Sasha had fallen asleep again. When she leaned over to check, her assumptions were reassured. That was it, the rest of the night Anne sat there in that bed unable to do anything other than check on Sasha’s breathing every few minutes. She zoned in and out of thought but always found herself trying not to cry. Everything was going so well and now this… this set them back so far.
The one person meant to be the face of strength was now likely one of the most vulnerable. Anne knew she’d have to step up to make sure everything stayed afloat but she also devoted a great part of her energy to Sasha's wellbeing. She moved her hand to brush through Sasha’s hair like she was used to doing but stopped herself- realizing this might not be something her partner would be okay with. Instead, Anne hugged herself for comfort and looked Sasha up and down. She looked so small and fragile, so much so that the reality of Sasha not being some invincible power finally hit her like a truck.
That was the negative of trying to seem unstoppable, she forgets she has skin and blood just like everyone else. Her life is just as fragile- so easy to lose and even easier to love. It just makes loss that much harder to accept.
Maybe things will be better tomorrow.