Chapter Text
As he sits in a grassy field, plucking fistfuls of the green blades and tossing them aside, he spots his friends appearing over the hill, and his eyes brighten.
Boo is by his side in an instant, purple particles trailing behind him after the rapid teleport. “Hey, it’s been a while,” Boo comments warmly, a light grin tugging at his mouth. “Thought maybe you’d decided to have one of your adventures without us.”
“Yeah, what the hell?” Bee shouts accusingly, breathing heavily after running to catch up to them. He wheezes and pants as he sucks in labored breaths. “Where’ve you…been?”
“Nowhere interesting,” Tommy says with a shrug. He grips another handful of grass and feels the blades being unearthed bit by bit. He’s never really felt the need to explain himself to his friends, and they never really push him on it. They just accept whatever lame excuse he conjures up, and they forget about it.
But it’s hard to keep the two worlds he lives in separate. He’s slipped up before, mentioning names of people in his foster homes or events that happened in the real world, and he always feels guilty afterward. He already gives so little time to his friends, and here he is being distracted by other things, other people, another family, another reality.
He wonders what he misses out on when he’s not here, when Bee and Boo are busy with their lives and he’s back at the Watsons’. So, he asks them. “Hey, what do you two do when I’m not around?”
Boo responds easily. “Nothing interesting,” he quips, to combat Tommy’s original reply. “There’s not much for us to do when you’re not here.”
For some reason, Tommy feels guilty again. His wings, normally relaxed and calm behind him, puff up with discomfort, and his face flushes. “I didn’t mean to be gone for so long,” he says weakly. He knows it’s an awful excuse, but he can’t come up with a better one. He really had meant to visit sooner, but with how hectic his life has been, and with him being unable to sit down and let himself relax, he’s been absent for weeks, and he feels terrible for abandoning them for that long.
“Not your fault, bossman, we know you’re busy,” Bee says, interrupting his guilty conscience.
“I…I know, but I…” he bails on what he was going to say, “I missed you.”
“Missed you too, dummy,” Boo teases. “Are you ready to get a move on? It’s been a while since we went to the market.”
“Ugh,” Bee whines, his own wings fluttering in irritation. “I don’t wanna go there today. It’s too far from here and my wings are sore. Can we do something else?”
“Like what?”
“Experiments!” The flash of excitement in Bee’s eyes is dangerous, his grin too wide to be natural, but Boo just laughs him off.
“NO, we are not doing that. If anything, we should be staying as far away from your lab as possible.”
“Aww, but I just redesigned a new waterproof suit, and–”
“ And that’s why I say we skip the experiments today,” Boo argues with an uneasy smile. He’s trying to let Bee down easy, and it’s not working. Bee visibly deflates, feet dragging, shoulders slumping, wings drooping. It’s like looking at a kicked puppy.
But Boo knows this tactic better than anyone, and he’s not falling for it. “Nope. Pick something else to do.”
“Ugh, fine. How about we–”
Tommy’s mind wanders as they argue some more. He doesn’t mean to get distracted, but their back-and-forth banter reminds him of Wil and Techno. Bee’s whiny requests are just like how Wil does it; they’re very persuasive to most people, except for the person they’re trying to convince. For Wil, it’s Techno’s bland, unwavering attitude that keeps him in check, and for Bee, it’s Boo’s calm, yet firm refusals.
Is it wrong to be comparing his friends to his foster brothers? It doesn’t seem fair. It feels like all he’s done since he’s been gone is replace Bee and Boo, and that wasn’t his intention at all. He never meant to find people in the real world who cared about him like his friends do. He never thought it would happen, to be honest.
But now that things are different, it’s hard to see Bee and Boo and not think of his foster brothers.
“--what Tommy thinks. Tommy?”
“Huh?” He snaps his attention back to the present.
“Bee wants to go to the lake but I would rather visit the bench. Any preferences?”
“Uh, the lake,” he says distractedly. Bee does a little victory dance and then punches Boo in the arm, and it makes Tommy laugh.
The lake isn’t far from where they currently are, and that’s probably why Bee requested it. He complains about his wings the entire way, but it doesn’t bother Tommy, and Tommy’s sure it doesn’t really bother Boo, either.
Bee huffs a dramatic breath. “I’m gonna die before we get there, it’s so faaar.”
Tommy can’t help but snicker. “Then fucking perish. We’re not there yet.”
“Oh, and since when did you have a potty-mouth, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes?”
Tommy freezes in his tracks, eyes squinted in confusion. “What?”
Bee turns, wings buzzing rapidly to keep him afloat, and gives him a wonky grin. “Thought you were above cursing, is all. What, have you suddenly decided that you don’t give a fuck anymore? Not a big deal, really. But Boo and I had this bet going–”
“Oh, come on, really?” Boo rolls his eyes and forks over a generous sum of emeralds, which Bee is happy to pocket for later.
But Tommy’s still wrapped up in his own thoughts. “I’ve never sworn here before?”
Boo shuffles his feet awkwardly, itching to get moving again, and they do, albeit very slowly. “No, not with us. Bee bet me 30 emeralds your first swear would be the F-word, and I bet that you’d never swear. Obviously, I was wrong.”
Boo’s explanation gets a chuckle out of Tommy. “How could you think I’d never swear?” He presses, and Boo’s happy to explain.
“We’ve known you for years, and I can’t remember one time you’ve sworn. I just assumed that was how it would always be.”
Bee falls back a bit from the lead to contribute to the discussion. “Wouldn’t trust your memory, Boo. You can’t remember shit.”
“I guess I should’ve expected that,” Boo mumbled before addressing Tommy again. “But no, you’ve never…at least to my knowledge, you don’t swear.”
And it’s funny because after all these years, both here and in foster homes, he’s been careful with his words. It hadn’t even been fully intentional, but after one of his foster parents made it very clear they didn’t approve of swearing, he must have subconsciously started keeping the curses to himself, even in his little made-up world.
And what’s even funnier is that he swears like a fucking sailor in his own head. If he’d realized he was holding back here, he would have made a better effort to let the swears fly.
He giggles like a maniac. “Oh, Boo, I wish you would’ve fucking told me sooner.”
Boo’s eyes widen a bit before settling into dread. “Oh no, here it comes.”
And so, for the remainder of the walk to the lake, Tommy lets out every bad word he’s ever been taught. Boo seems irritated, but in a fond way, and Bee looks like he couldn’t be prouder.
“We’re here!” Bee exclaims as they finally catch sight of the lake. It’s more like a large pond, with the entrance to the forest just beside it and the mountain peaks set far in the distance. It’s like every generic painting of a lake that he’s ever seen. Tommy almost expects to find a little log-cabin perched at the treeline every time they visit this spot.
All three of them plop down in the grass. It’s a bit patchier near the lake; this is a popular area for sheep and goats and cows to graze, so the grass doesn’t last long here. But none of them mind at all. They’re here to appreciate the beauty of the lake, not the grass around it.
“So, Tommy,” Bee begins as he picks up a dandelion with 2 fingers. “If you were to describe me in one word, what would it be?”
“Hmm. I would say…bitch.”
“What?!”
Boo can’t help but laugh at the bewilderment spreading across Bee’s face. “He might be right,” he manages to say as the laughing turns to coughing.
“Well, if I’m a bitch, Tommy, then you’re a dick.”
“You motherfucker –” but he can’t finish the insult, because he’s devolved into cough-laughter as well. The three of them take time to recover and settle down, letting the serenity of the area calm them.
Boo takes a different approach with his small talk. “How’ve you been, Tommy?”
“Fine, yeah,” he says with a nod.
“Really?”
“Yeah I–” and he stops himself, because despite just using the default response, he doesn’t actually know if he’s fine. He always says he is, but when’s the last time he stopped to think about it? “I guess so.”
“Now what does that mean?”
Tommy wishes he knew. “It means I’m good.”
“Then where have you been?”
There’s the guilt again. “I got caught up in a lot of stuff, but it’s worked itself out. It’s way fucking better now.”
“Stuff like what?”
“It’s not important.”
“I don’t care. I didn’t ask if it was important,” Boo says bluntly, but he smoothes out his features and softens up with words. “I just wanna know what you’ve been doing. I’m just curious.”
And Tommy wonders why he feels the need to hide his life from them. Why does he pretend with them when this whole thing is just one big game of pretend?
He knows the answer already, and he doesn’t like it.
It’s the same thing he felt when Phil asked him to be more trusting and open with him. It’s that same idea, that if anything changes, if he does anything new or different, then his relationships, his moments of happiness and peace, will crumble and shatter in his hands. That if he decides to reveal himself, his secrets, then the people he cares about will leave.
But he’s been through this before, with Phil. And he’s starting to understand that the people who truly care, who really want the best for him, won’t leave when he tries to open up. Offering a level of trust to them by exposing his true self will only solidify those real relationships. He doesn’t have to be afraid to be himself, at least, that’s what Phil keeps telling him.
“Well,” he begins shakily, “I spend a lot of time with my foster family now, because I feel safe around them. And that means that I’ve been gone for longer than I expected to be, and I’m sorry about that. But yeah, they’re cool. I feel…accepted by them.”
“That’s fucking sappy,” Bee says, but his face shows nothing but warmth at Tommy’s admission.
“I know, bitch! But now that things are settling down, I can start setting aside more time to hang out with you guys!”
A heavy silence was the last thing he expected to hear after that announcement. He wiggles around in the dead grass, waiting for someone to say something to ease the awkward feeling in the air.
Finally, after several moments of nothing, Boo speaks. “I think you should spend more time with your family instead, Tommy.”
His heart catches in his throat. It’s the thing he’s been dreading, the truth to his situation. As soon as he finally starts to open up, they leave, and he’s left with nothing, no one who cares, no one who’s willing to put up with him. It’s just like every other time he’s been abandoned-
Boo notices his expression and quickly tries to amend his statement. “I didn’t mean it like that, oh god. No, I…we would never do that to you. I just think it’s healthier for you to spend less time…here…and more time with your family.”
One word sticks out to Tommy out of all that. “Healthier?”
“This…we…I just…” Boo sighs and starts over. “We care about you, ok? And we are always here for you when you need us. But spending too much time away from your real family isn’t good for you. And I think you’re at the point where you don’t need us as often.” He offers a sad smile, an apology alight in his eyes, and Tommy knows the charade is up.
They know.
“You guys are real to me, even if…” Tommy hates to admit to them that they’re imaginary, so he doesn’t. “But I want to see you. You make me happy.”
Bee sticks up for Boo. “No, what he’s saying is that seeing us isn’t the right way to cope. You’re allowed to care about us. Fuck, I mean, we care about you, too, but there are healthier ways to deal with life than using us an an escape mechanism.”
If Bee and Boo were saying this to him from the real world, it would sound horrible. He’d be such a shit friend, only running to them whenever he found it convenient for him. That’s the literal definition of a toxic friendship. But this isn’t the real world, and what they’re saying makes sense from his perspective.
They are self-aware, apparently. They probably have been this whole time. But the whole point of escapism is that you’re not supposed to think about the thing you’re escaping from. For Tommy, he used this imaginary world to escape the real one, and his imaginary friends were happy to be a distraction for him.
But things change, and he no longer needs that distraction like he used to. And Bee and Boo seem to understand that completely.
“Are you ok with that?” Tommy asks them.
“Of course, bossman. Your health and happiness come first, before anyone else's. Especially above ours, since, you know, we’re not real…” and Bee has the fucking audacity to look smug about it.
“But,” Boo interjects. “We will always be here, if you decide you need a break. Just, don’t visit everyday anymore. We will kick you out if you do that,” Boo smiles teasingly, but Tommy feels like his heart is being tugged and ripped from his body.
He wishes he could argue with them about it, but he knows they’re absolutely in the right here. He loves them to death, but they’re telling him to leave. And honestly, that’s probably for the best.
“Thanks, guys. I guess I’ll see you later, then,” he says, concentrating very hard on not crying.
Even if he knows he can come back at any time, it feels like he’s saying goodbye.
Bee and Boo have been there for him since the beginning. Since his very first foster home, since that first big fight, since the lies and manipulation and loneliness he’s endured, they’ve helped him. They’ve offered him friendship that he could never have in his real life, and even though he’s considered himself a loser for that, he would rather have them then no one at all.
And now, they’re helping him in a different way. It hurts, it hurts so badly to let them go, but he knows they’re right. He’s met incredible people now, people who care about him and who can make a difference in the real world. And even though Bee and Boo couldn’t do that, they still mean so much to him.
Fuck, he’s going to miss them.
Quietly, he opens his arms in a silent request, and Bee and Boo latch onto him without a word spoken between them. It’s bittersweet, to know that abandoning his only friends is the right thing to do. He only wishes it could be different.
“I love you,” he whispers into their arms. He doesn’t need them say it back to know that they feel the same way.
And then, they let him go.