Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

There was a time in his life that this wasn’t as weird as it now is.

Even if it feels like a far off point in time that the last two days have convinced Donghyuck he’s made up, he’s checked with other key eye-witnesses and now knows for sure that it happened.

It didn’t used to be so awkward sitting in a practice room with all of these people he considered his friends, or something close to it, a few years ago. Yet still, there are twenty three people spread among the practice rooms floors and it’s deadly silent.

In Donghyuck’s defense, there are at least five people in the room who he does not know beyond a simple introduction one time while they passed each other in the hall. Usually it would be fairly easy for him to force his way into their spaces and break the awkwardness of meeting for the first time, but with the quiet even he isn’t bold enough to be the first one to say anything.

When they had first all walked in, it had been easy to be loud as he, Chenle, and Renjun had immediately backed Kun into a corner and started making plans for when he would be taking them all to dinner. Then, Kun had to go deal with something or another and it had really settled in that it had really only been them four talking, and then it got real hard real fast to even imagine being the one to break the silence.

Since then Chenle has taken to stretching facing Kun, even if they’re still not saying anything, and Jeno has migrated to Doyoung’s side and is playing on the elders phone, laying out on the floor next to him. Other than that, it is very clear who belongs to which unit of NCT.

Donghyuck feels the most bad for the two new members, who obviously know none of them and don’t even seem to know each other much.

They’d been told, of course, that there would be two new members joining and that it was up to them to make them feel as comfortable as possible, but that was a lot harder in practice than in theory.

There’s Shotaro, and there’s Sungchan, and one of them’s taller than the other, and one of them is Japanese, but Donghyuck couldn’t tell you which one is which. They’ve backed themselves into the farthest corner from the rest of them and are steadfastly keeping their eyes focused on themselves in the mirror.

And actually, if Donghyuck lets himself think about it for more than a second, this whole thing is bullshit.

Their managers, by order of their company, have made sure they know barely anything about the members of WayV they hadn’t trained with. They were given orders to not talk about them in public, leave them to their own devices and keep it pushing. Now, two years later, they’re told they’re doing a great big project with them and everyone has to be best friends. Oh, and also, there will be two more complete strangers who don’t know anybody and you’ll be best friends with them too.

It’s stupid, and unfair to everyone involved, but if Donghyuck thinks about it any longer he’ll end up telling someone how stupid he thinks it is, so he puts all of his feelings about it in a box and tapes it shut. Instead, he moves closer to Renjun and tries to shake off the feeling of impending doom.

They stay in the hell of silence until it’s been long enough that if they don’t start doing something the staff lingering around are going to start getting very irritated. Then it’s just them quietly following along to what Taeyong is saying, and then them quietly shuffling to get their water bottles, and then them quietly following what Mark Lee, of all people in the world, is telling them to do.

Apparently at some point in the last few years he’s stopped having two left feet and has now been bestowed enough power over the rest of them that they actually have to listen to the words coming out of his mouth. Logically, Donghyuck knows that Mark would not have debuted if he didn’t lose the extra left foot years ago, but he also thought for most of his life he would filter out everything Mark ever tried bossing him around about, so his brain’s just having a bit of a hard time adjusting to all the new changes.

They get another break, with everyone silently moving towards their bags to grab water and check their phones and quietly murmuring to one another.

“This is stupid.” Chenle mutters to his right. “The vast majority of us know each other. Why is nobody fucking talking.”

“Why don’t you go talk to someone then, Chenle?” Jisung rolls his eyes, gulping down his water quickly. “If you have so much to say, say it.”

“Why don’t you talk to a single person outside of Dream, Jisungie? Think you’ll ever be able to do it?” Chenle smiles meanly. “Actually, don’t. I don’t want to be blamed for the heart attack it’ll induce.”

“Knock it off,” Jeno glares at both of them from Donghyuck’s left. “In what world is making things more awkward for everybody the solution?”

Chenle grumbles a little more, but waits for Jisung to put his stuff back in his bag and drags him along to the other side of the room where Kun is.

“They’re just stressed out,” Jaemin chides Jeno softly, “That’s why they’re talking to each other like that.”

“They need to figure out some better coping skills that aren’t treating each other like shit and then gallivanting off together.” Jeno frowns. Donghyuck reaches up and pokes the crease in between his eyebrows. Jeno bats him away, leaning further into Jaemin to get away from his wandering fingers.

“If they’re just being mean to each other, why does it matter?” Donghyuck asks. Renjun snorts where he’s sitting at their feet, pretending to ignore them to scroll through his phone mindlessly instead. “As long as they’re not taking it out on us, isn’t that good?”

“You can’t just say horrible shit to someone and never circle back and apologize for it. That’s not how a healthy relationship works.”

“Even if they’re doing it back?” Renjun looks up from his phone. Jeno scowls down at him and he rolls his eyes, going back to his phone.

“Who’s to say they don’t talk it out later?” Jaemin offers, “We’re not with them all the time. And they’re still always attached at the hip. Obviously this dynamic is working out for them.”

“It’s working until it doesn’t,” Jeno stresses, “One of them is going to go too far, and then we’re all going to have to figure out how to mend a destroyed relationship.”

Donghyuck snorts, looking around the room at everyone pretending to be engrossed in their phones. “Yeah, because we’re not in the midst of that right now.”

“Anyways,” Jaemin digs a rag out of his bag, scrubbing it across the back of his neck and throwing it at Jeno so he can do the same. Donghyuck holds back a gag, frantically shaking his head when Jeno offers him the same rag. “What are we doing to get these losers to loosen up?”

“I don’t know if that’s even possible,” Renjun pipes up, gaze still focused on his screen, “They’re not even talking to their own members, don’t really know how you could get anyone to talk to your lame asses.”

“You said that to be hurtful,” Jaemin frowns down at him. “You know I’ve been doing ass exercises.”

Renjun barks out a laugh, making Jaemin preen and everyone else look over at what they’re doing. “You’re so annoying. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Still,” Jaemin sniffs, turning to Donghyuck. “Any ideas?”

“Am I just mister idea man?” Donghyuck questions, “I have to come up with every plan we have? If that’s what you want, I’m expecting some kind of compensation.”

“There wasn’t a single person you didn’t talk too when we were trainees,” Jeno stares him down, “What’s stopping you now?”

“I’m shy,” Donghyuck pouts at him. Jeno rolls his eyes, sighing exasperatedly.

“Chenle was right, this is dumb.” Renjun frowns up at them. “It was not this awkward and terrible last time.”

“Last time we actually all talked semi-regularly, babe,” Jaemin sucks in air between his teeth. “It’s just not the same.”

“It’s annoying,” Renjun grumbles, holding a hand up to Jeno and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. “What did I do to deserve putting up with this mess? I’m too pretty to deal with this kind of stress.”

“Way too pretty,” Jaemin nods at him seriously, eyes open wide.

Renjun and Chenle are right, of course. During the 2018 project, things hadn’t been so stifling, and it didn’t feel like they were all walking on eggshells around each other. Yes, the past two years have been way busier than their first two years of debut. Between WayV being excommunicated from the NCT brand and spending most their time in China, and 127 flying back and forth from America, SuperM debuting, and Dream focusing on promoting in Korea, there really hasn’t been a time in the past two years that they’ve all seen each other.

Maybe it’s normal for adults to go such a long time without seeing their friends, but without a massive project to keep them all together they weren’t friends. Now they’re being expected to make it work and act like they have been the whole time, but how do you talk to someone you haven’t seen in two years like you’ve spent the last decade right by their side? It doesn’t make any sense.

The 2018 project actually started at the butt end of 2017. All they had really been told at the beginning was that they would all be participating in an album together. What that meant had been up in the air until they were actually in a debriefing room, being told what their assignments would be and what was going to be expected of them.

It was way easier. A major reason being they had all just debuted, and had been training together for years beforehand. Even the members that were debuting through the Empathy album had some kind of connection to most of them.

Donghyuck remembers constantly tailing Ten and bothering him at every chance, sneaking into Mark’s room with Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin to mess with his stuff and hide fake bugs in his sheets, and staying glued to Sicheng’s side at every award show they went to.

Now the most interacting any of them have done was a wave from Ten while he was talking to someone else, a barely there nod of acknowledgement from Mark when they all first stopped hounding Kun, and silence from Sicheng. Which is not that surprising, considering they haven’t talked in two years.

But whatever. Donghyuck can be an adult about this. He is literally the funniest person in the room, it cannot be that hard to force relationships on all of these people he had previous relationships with. Starting with Ten.

Ten because he’s just as loud and brash as Donghyuck is, and Donghyuck could bet real money on the assumption that just the two of them talking is going to drag in at least three other people with little to no effort from either of them.

He’s right, of course, because he always is. Donghyuck leaves his friends behind, heading over to Ten and immediately wrapping his arms around Ten’s neck, putting all of his body weight on him. Ten chastises him, but lets him keep them pressed side to side as they catch up. It’s only been two minutes when the first victim gets lured in.

Maybe more like forcefully tugged, but wording phrases correctly has never been of importance to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck’s shooting rapid fire questions about as many mundane things about China he can think up when Ten hisses, eyeing something on the other side of Donghyuck. Donghyuck looks in the mirror to see what it is, and locks eyes on the new friendly giant standing and stretching his arms out. “He’s too tall,” Ten tells Donghyuck, “Who told him he could be so tall?”

“Let’s go ask him,” Donghyuck chimes brightly.

“Please don’t bother him already,” Kun begs them, hidden behind Chenle and Jisung sitting on each of his legs and looming over a video playing on Kun’s phone together.

Ten shoots Kun a nasty look he can’t see anyways. “Let’s.” He grins sharply at Donghyuck.

They walk over, arms intertwined. Donghyuck has to stifle a laugh at the way the tall one looks frantically around him, looking for who else they could possibly be heading towards.

“You know,” Ten says, moving his head directly in Shotaro or Sungchan’s eyeline, “You’re kind of being disrespectful.”

ShoChan startles, turning bright red and bowing while apologizing.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” Donghyuck asks amusedly.

“Um,” ShoChan stutters, smiling sheepishly at the floor, “Whatever it is I promise to do better.” He glances up into the space between them, “As soon as you tell me what it is.”

Donghyuck looks over at Ten, taking in his mischievous grin with thinly veiled excitement. Ten’s just opening his mouth to say something else when they’re interrupted, a body moving between them and forcing Donghyuck and Ten apart. “Ten,” Mark says disapprovingly, frowning at him before moving on to Donghyuck.

“Oh calm down, Mark,” Ten rolls his eyes, cheerfully pinching Mark’s cheeks, “We’re just talking to Sungchan.”

Sungchan. The tall one is Sungchan. Donghyuck repeats it enough times in his head that he won’t forget again.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Mark tells him. “Especially with how you and Johnny used to ‘talk’ to me.” Quotation marks and everything. Donghyuck would be pissed if that were directed towards him. Mark is lucky it isn’t.

“We’re not doing anything wrong,” Donghyuck defends them both, “Right, Sungchanie?”

Sungchan avoids his eyes, instead shooting Mark what Donghyuck can only describe as a ‘help me’ look, which actually is quite offensive in his opinion. “Um, no. They weren’t.”

“We were just mentioning to Sungchan how rude it is to be so tall in a room full of his elders.” Ten explains, smiling when Sungchan slumps a bit.

“Super rude,” Donghyuck tilts his head, smiling brightly at Sungchan. At first nothing happens, but Donghyuck stays staring until Sungchan smiles back, then moves away from Ten and Mark and goes to Sungchan’s side, grabbing onto his arm. “He promised to trade me some of his height for some of my amazing personality.”

“Where is this amazing personality hiding?” Jeno asks, hand clasped with Doyoung’s as they walk over to join their little circle.

“He’s kidding,” Donghyuck nudges Sungchan’s arm with his shoulder, “Everyone knows I have an amazing personality. You can’t back out on our deal. Promise.” He holds up his pinky finger. Sungchan laughs lightly, intertwining their pinkies for a second before letting go.

“I mean I guess you could teach someone how to be as annoying as you are,” Chenle chimes in, walking towards them followed by Jisung and Kun, “But how exactly is he supposed to teach you how to not be so short.”

“I’ll buy him insoles,” Sungchan offers, looking down at Donghyuck, eyes shining and mouth twisted up in the sweetest smile Donghyuck has seen in years. Sungchan is so cute, and Donghyuck is hopelessly endeared already.

“He wears insoles already,” Chenle snorts, “I don’t know if he can get ones that are any higher without just wearing high heels.” Donghyuck makes a face at him, and Chenle makes one back. Donghyuck wishes his plan worked less, because with all these people surrounding them he can’t say what he really wants to to Chenle.

“You can carry me around,” Donghyuck decides, returning Sungchan’s grin, “That can be your repentance for being so tall and so handsome.”

Sungchan turns pink. “Seriously,” Ten scoffs, “Who told you to look so good and be so tall at the same time? Hm?”

Sungchan thinks seriously for a second. “Maybe the company?”

It’s silent for a second until Donghyuck bursts out laughing, completely enamored. He wraps himself around Sungchan, pressing his giggles into his shoulder. For his part, Sungchan takes all of their laughter easily, a self pleased look taking over his flushed face. They get control of themselves rather quickly, and Donghyuck doesn’t even have a second to congratulate himself for breaking the tension before the room fills with chatter. He revels in it for a moment before his eyes catch on Shotaro in the mirror, sitting behind their little group and looking around a bit helplessly. Donghyuck sighs on the inside, thinks about how his heart is just so big he can’t control himself, and whirls around, getting Shotaro’s attention and motioning for him to come over.

Shotaro’s eyes round out as he points at himself. Donghyuck nods as big as he can and waves him over again.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” Donghyuck smiles prettily, “I’m Donghyuck.”

“Shotaro,” Shotaro mumbles.

Donghyuck motions towards Sungchan. “Have you guys met?”

“We know each other a little bit,” Sungchan tells him, turning towards Shotaro and saying something in broken Japanese.

“Oh!” Donghyuck exclaims, “You don’t know Korean very well, right? I’m pretty sure someone said something about that.”

“I’m learning hard,” Shotaro smiles nervously. Donghyuck wishes they were closer so he could properly coo over how adorable he is.

“Yuta!” Donghyuck calls, spinning slowly in place until he makes eye contact with the man. “We need an interpreter,” he mouths, gesturing between the three of them until Yuta ends his conversation with Sicheng and they both walk over.

“What seems to be the issue boys?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, “Will you help Shotaro out?” He asks, then turns to the newbies, “when Yuta first started hanging out with everyone, Taeil hated him for three weeks because he accidentally said something insulting about him.”

Sungchan looks a polite amount of shocked. “That must have been rough.”

“It was,” Yuta cuts in, “especially because while I was trying to figure out what was going on, Johnny kept teaching me curse words and swearing up and down they were compliments.” Sungchan laughs loudly and Donghyuck joins him.

“One time,” Donghyuck giggles, “Taeyong was on the phone with his mom and Yuta came into the room swearing super casually. They hadn’t really known each other for long at that point so Taeyong was shocked and appalled until Johnny eventually fessed up to what he was doing.”

Sicheng shakes his head. “Johnny did the same thing to me and I ended up calling one of the staff members a shithead instead of helpful.”

“You guys have,” Shotaro starts before he turns to Yuta and says something.

“Had a lot of experiences together,” Yuta finishes, “or made a lot of memories, maybe? That sounds better.”

“You have no idea,” Donghyuck whistles. He’s in the zone now, all awkward tension gone and attention on himself. “When I was eighteen we all went to Tokyo, right? On the way there we had assigned seats but since there were so many of us we were all switching seats and shuffling around. Well, I was super sick because Jeno had convinced me to eat these leftovers from the back of our fridge and they were way off.”

“Okay guys,” Taeyong calls, “get back in your lines, please.”

Donghyuck continues. “So I was supposed to have the seat closest to the bathroom, because that whole situation was bad news but somehow Jaehyun and Ten convinced me to let them both sit there and I would sit two rows behind.” Someone calls Donghyuck’s name from behind him but he ignores it. It’ll only take a second to finish anyways.

“Worst mistake of my life. You know how they give you the barf bags? During take off I used mine and Jeno’s because he had to follow me around and take care of me since he was the one to get me sick, but then we hit the craziest turbulence I’ve ever experienced.”

“Ew,” Sicheng mutters, “I remember this.”

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark calls again, more firmly. “Everyone’s waiting.”

“Just a second,” Donghyuck smiles at him, “we’re almost done.”

Mark’s shoulders set. “I can tell. Because we’ve all been waiting while you continue on about a story you can tell when we’re done with what we need to do.”

Donghyuck’s smile freezes onto his face. A very specific kind of uncomfort settles into his bones when Taeyong tells Mark that it’s okay. Suddenly the silence is ringing through the room.

“Anyway,” Donghyuck says as brightly as he can, “I ended up getting sick on Jeno. And then Ten and Jaehyun had to help the flight attendants clean everything up since they stole my seat.”

“You gave me that seat!” Ten calls from across the room. “You always act like I forced you out of it.”

“You did,” Jeno argues. “You literally told both of us that you had a birthright to the seat you wanted because you were older.”

Before Ten can argue back, Kun interrupts all of them to start guiding them in their next activity. Donghyuck slinks back over to where he’s been sitting all day as does everyone else he was standing with.

Jaemin rolls his eyes when Donghyuck makes eye contact with him. “Mark’s always had a stick up his ass. I guess it got harder somehow.”

“Harder and longer,” Renjun mutters, “I’m pretty sure a tree branch is about to start growing out of his mouth.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says awkwardly, and then makes sure not to speak out of turn again until they’re dismissed for the day.

—

Before they debuted, before they all dropped out of school, before they had no free time to their names, they were all friends.

It was easy for Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin, and Mark to get close through the buddy system that was thrust onto them. No one was allowed to be alone, it was against the rules, and eventually it was against their own rules for anyone to be left out of their shenanigans.

While the older trainees worked their way into an early grave in the practice rooms, Donghyuck and his friends spent their youth sneaking away for treats and pulling pranks on anyone they thought might be dumb enough to fall for it. It was always easy to get away with when they had Mark Lee, resident goody two shoes, on their side, and behind Mark’s preacher son persona, he was just as bad as the rest of them.

As more kids were added and Mark debuted without them, friendship lines were strained and eventually brought back together. Once Mark got his head out of his ass and stopped freaking out about all the responsibilities they were all plagued with, it was easier to go back to how they were. Finding pockets of time to run terror throughout the company became their normal once again.

When all the idols under the NCT brand conjoined in their big 2018 project, Donghyuck was elated. There was no struggle to find time where all his friends were free to hang out when they all worked together and lived out of each other's pockets once again. Mark was back with all of them all of the time, and Donghyuck was eating up every minute of it.

“And then Chenle gave Jisung ten bucks to eat it off the floor,” Donghyuck whispers to Mark. They’re technically supposed to be stretching in silence, but Donghyuck is sure if someone had an actual problem with it they’d tell him to shut up.

“That’s nasty,” Mark whispers back.

Donghyuck nods. “No kidding. Nobody has even swept in, like, weeks. So he probably ate billions of germs for a measly ten bucks. It would have taken me at least twenty.”

“Hyuck.” Mark laughs.

“Really! Because my mom always said that eating a few things off the floor helped build your immune system. So it would be a little gross but I’d also be getting two benefits.”

Mark shakes his head. “Country bumpkin.”

“Says you,” Donghyuck kicks his foot out. “Remember when everyone except me got the flu when we were sixteen?”

“That was a coincidence,” Mark says.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Right. Or it was my superior immune system fighting off disease because sometimes I eat chips off the floor.”

“Everyone eats chips off the floor sometimes,” Mark argues.

“Mark Lee,” Donghyuck starts.

“Hyuck, we’re starting,” Taeyong calls.

“We’re almost done,” Mark calls back before motioning for Donghyuck to continue.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck nods shortly, “as I was saying, you’re full of it. You always complain that I don’t get sick as much as you do, why do you think that is? Because I’ve fine-tuned my body like a machine. Based on what my mother has told me.”

“I’ll concede on half of it,” Mark says as they set into their formations, “but even you said it was gross that Jisung was eating off the floor.”

“Guys,” Johnny calls sharply.

“Cause he did it for cheap,” Donghyuck sighs. “Duh.”

Mark rolls his eyes and turns away. Donghyuck sticks his tongue out at his back and jabs him in the side until Mark gives in and does the same.

“You guys,” Doyoung stresses, “act like professionals.”

“Sorry,” they both chorus and drop their hands, stepping away from each other and facing forward. Jaemin turns and mimes sticking a finger down his throat and even though Donghyuck can’t see Mark, he knows he’s barely holding in his laughter.

—

When they get home, Donghyuck immediately goes to his room and collapses on his bed. Being on for hours on end is truly one of the most soul sucking things you can do, and after the mess that practice was and getting reemed in front of an audience, Donghyuck is one thousand percent ready for a nap. Unfortunately, none of his friends know how to take a hint and follow him in.

“Old people are so boring,” Jisung sighs, falling onto the bed next to Donghyuck and scooting over until they’re pressed completely together.

“Because you were so entertaining tugging at Chenle’s pigtails all day today, right?” Jeamin snorts, sitting by their feet.

“Chenle doesn’t have pigtails.” Jisung tells him. Donghyuck snorts and Jisung tightens his hold on him.

“What’s the plan for never repeating that experience again,” Jeno asks, taking a seat on the edge of Renjun’s bed on the other side of the room. Renjun crawls behind him, fitting himself in the gap between the wall and his mattress and barricading his body with his nauseating amount of pillows.

“Just do what Donghyuck does and force people to like us.” Renjun says blandly.

“I don’t force people to like me,” Donghyuck mumbles into his pillow, hoping that if he lets the conversation happen as quickly as possible he’ll be able to go to sleep quicker. “People fall in love with me because of my natural charm. I can’t help it, nor can I control it. It’s a blessing and a curse, really.”

“Right,” Jeno says lowly, “That’s what we saw in action today, right?”

“Did you see Sungchan?” Jisung asks, “He realized something today, I think.”

Donghyuck can’t help but laugh loudly at that. It’s probably the hysteria from feeling like he could pass out at any second, but he can’t stop his giggles for a while. To the point where Jeno has to slap his leg to get him to shut up. “Sorry,” He says, scrubbing a hand down his face, “That was funny, Sungie.” Jisung preens, pressing his nose into the space Donghyuck’s neck and collarbone meet. “And don’t bring up Mark publicly humiliating me,” Using the leg that won’t disturb Jisung, Donghyuck kicks at Jeno as accurately as he can. He thinks he gets him on the arm, but his vision is blocked by Jisung’s hair, so he just hopes that he actually made contact and it wasn’t a pillow strategically placed to throw him off.

“That dudes a sucker,” Jaemin scoffs, “Who died and named him king?”

“Seriously,” Jisung grumbles, “He’s such a loser for that.”

“He’s always been a loser,” Donghyuck says, valiantly refusing to think about when Mark was a loser to everyone but them, “We can’t fix that. We’ll just have to learn to deal with this new big and bad Mark.”

“I don’t like it,” Jaemin declares to the silent room, “We’re the youngest group, and we were the ones trying to smooth everyone over. How is that fair?”

“Excuse me,” Donghyuck exclaims loudly, “I was the one working to smooth everyone over, and I was the one to get yelled at for it. Please let me have this one shining moment without trying to shove your way into the spotlight, if only to make the public humiliation sting a tiny bit less.”

“So dramatic,” Jaemin whispers not quietly, making a face when Donghyuck glares at him.

“It was weird,” Jeno sighs, sitting up slightly, “Mark used to be at least a little bit cool. Now it’s like we didn’t go four straight years spending every second together.”

“Not seeing each other for two years makes everything muddled,” Renjun shrugs, “Maybe we were friends when you spent all day together going to school and then training, but we haven’t seen him in two years. Or made that much of an effort to keep in touch. It’s kind of like one of those things that makes you wonder if you were actually friends or if he was always just there.”

Donghyuck understands what Renjun’s getting at, but he also completely disagrees. They were friends with Mark. Maybe he and Mark in particular had a rocky start, but by the time they debuted and even during Empathy promotions they were friends. They were best friends. Sure, things get weird when you haven’t seen your friend's face in two years, but does that really erase all the history that’s already there? There were years spent with them all sneaking around and giggling and getting each other in trouble and now that’s all just moot because it’s been a while since they talked? It’s stupid.

Still, complaining about how dumb it is isn’t going to fix anything. “Things will get better.” Donghyuck says to the group at large. “We have, like, three more of these ‘learn how to be friends again’ practices before we really get into it. Just try and be normal and everyone will relax as time goes on.” They all seem to sit on that for a second, but Donghyuck is tired and his brain hurts and he’s done talking about Mark Lee. “Also, if you don’t get out or go to bed in the next five seconds my brain is going to melt out of my ears.”

“Lame,” Jaemin sighs, rolling off the bed.

“I’m gonna stay if that's alright,” Jisung mumbles into the skin of Donghyuck’s neck. Donghyuck assures him it is and rearranges them both so they’re more comfortable.

“You’re ditching me?” Jaemin asks him, outraged.

“He likes me more, what can I say?” Donghyuck smirks in his general direction. Jaemin slaps his thigh, making Donghyuck start to swear at him, but sometime in the last week he’s grown a brain and immediately runs out of the room.

“I’ll go, too,” Jeno whispers, getting out of bed and leaving quietly like a civilized human being.

Donghyuck’s just falling asleep when Renjun speaks up again. “You’re sure you're not having a meltdown about Mark?”

“What about Mark Lee could ever make me melt down?” Donghyuck scoffs, mustering up all the false bravado he really doesn’t have.

“I mean you were pretty close friends the last time we had to do this,” Renjun says all casual like. Donghyuck doesn’t buy it.

“I’ll be fine,” Donghyuck promises, tightening his hold on Jisung who’s decided to stay silent like he always does when he’s worried a conversation could blow up.

“Well,” Renjun sighs. There’s the sound of rustling sheets, probably from Renjun turning to face the other way, “Make sure you tell us when that’s not true anymore.”

“Right.” Donghyuck replies. It’s silent from then on, and Donghyuck can’t help but to think about how different this project is from their previous one. How stiff he fears it’s going to be. Running through ways to figure it all out before they’re filming content for the fans. It seems impossible, but Donghyuck is nothing if not persistent. As he’s coming up with at least three quick, short, but funny stories he can tell everyone tomorrow for bonding time, he finally drifts off to sleep.

—

Donghyuck doesn’t sleep very well that night.

Maybe it’s because what was supposed to be an hour-long nap carried on until four in the morning. After he eventually woke, ravenous for any food he could find in his fridge, he was unable to fall back asleep, playing on his phone on the couch before he fell back asleep around six. Somehow he manages to get himself up and ready before eight o’clock, narrowly dodging his so-called friends talking their manager into leaving him behind.

Maybe it was because he really didn’t want to spend another day trying to figure out the complicated relationships he’s found himself in.

Things were easier when they were kids. Obviously, everything is. But in general, making and maintaining friendships didn’t hold the same weight it does now. When Donghyuck was still in school, talking to the new kid was just something he did. There was never any extra thought put into it. Not like now, when he has to think twenty steps ahead and iron out the chain of events that may happen if he says one word to anybody.

Even when Mark was stuck in his era of being a goody two shoes, they spoke everyday. On the way to school, at school, on the way to the company from school. On the way to the dorms from the company.

Leaving school meant Donghyuck left the last dredges of his childhood before he was really ready to, but at the time that didn’t matter. He had his friends and his career and that was all he needed. At that point things were still good with Mark and everyone else. Obviously a lot has changed.

When he looks back on it, there aren’t a lot of things Donghyuck regrets. Sure it would have been nice to graduate highschool with the rest of his class, and to have more time to run around like a normal teenager, and to get in trouble for his mistakes with his parents instead of dozens of executives and thousands of fans, but those were all small losses he was willing to take. Losing contact with people he once considered his best friends is something he feels like he should be allowed to blame somebody for.

His first pick is Mark, for being a giant jackass. His second is the company, for sending Mark off in the first place. Third would be the universe, for separating them and not bringing them back together in some fantastical situation where they didn’t have the opportunity to do anything other than run into each other’s arms and reunite.

The reality is probably that it’s all of their faults. Donghyuck included.

He could have done more to keep his old friendships alive, but he didn’t. And now he has to suffer the consequences of his own actions. What a hoax.

Donghyuck can’t seem to figure out what exactly happened to Mark in the two years they’d spent away from each other, but it had to be something. They hadn’t ever debuted in the same group, ignoring for their big branding projects, but Mark was still cool with him after they had each gone their own ways. He was still fun. So it had to have been something else.

During the car ride over to the company, Donghyuck quizzes his members on any rumors they might have heard about Mark that could make him into the grump he is now. Any recent break ups, or being shot down by someone he liked in a public setting. Something Donghyuck would find hilarious but would probably sour Mark’s mood at least temporarily.

Nothing. Absolutely no news.

So Donghyuck’s stuck. Again. Which is only reinforced when he’s rough housing with Jeno and they both get told to stop before they hurt each other. They laugh it off easily, but Mark rolls his eyes and mumbles something about unprofessionalism.

“Is there something you need?” Donghyuck snaps. Mark doesn’t bother looking at him before he walks away.

—

It’s almost ironic, how much Donghyuck is letting this whole Mark Lee thing get to him.

When they were trainees, Donghyuck had practically made it his life’s mission to annoy Mark Lee at any possible second. Now the tables have turned and Mark’s not even trying to do it.

Things were harder to deal with before they debuted in separate groups and didn’t have to spend every last second in each other’s presence. Donghyuck had spent his whole life learning how to push buttons and wriggle his way under people's skin. Meeting Mark for the first time was like running into a living target.

Before they were able to learn how to fill in the cracked lines of their friendship, it was near constant fighting. Mark couldn’t say a single word without pissing Donghyuck off, and Donghyuck couldn’t let anything go. While Mark used to tote around the story of Donghyuck’s ability to have him seriously consider leaving SM like it was a particularly interesting charm of Donghyuck’s, Donghyuck had kept relatively quiet about the times people would catch him with the covers pulled over his head, lost in his thoughts about whether he would be able to live a life full of constant antagonizing.

Donghyuck knew what buttons to push to get the perfect Mark Lee to snap practically from their first meeting, it’s true. What people never really considered was Mark’s frighteningly accurate ability to pinpoint exactly what Donghyuck was insecure about and point it out with startling speed.

As an adult, it’s hard for Donghyuck to be mad at fourteen year old Mark for his crimes against humanity, as he was in the same stressful situation that was making Donghyuck act out so much. While it was happening, thirteen year old Donghyuck had no such reservations.

Insults were constantly being slung. If either of them made the slightest mistake the other was on them in a second, berating them for falling behind and holding the rest of the class back with them. Donghyuck couldn’t even look back on their childish ways fondly, instead cringing every time a memory popped up, the distant feeling of hurt and the bone deep worry everything being said was true still a little too raw to laugh at. Adult Donghyuck can ignore the nasty words and immature pointing of fingers, but a part of him still feels bad for the little Donghyuck that would lay in bed and cry when he was sure everyone else was asleep.

Eventually, with time and many interventions from their friends and older trainees, the fights started to happen less and less until they eventually died off entirely. What was left was a tentative understanding of each other that would quickly grow into one of the strongest and most important bonds Donghyuck would experience.

The cold war they’ve found themselves in now feels nothing like this. Whereas when they were younger there was a general understanding that they just could not stand each other and they were both picking at each other and making it worse, now it’s like all the work they did to remedy that had been side swept and neither of them really know how to proceed.

As much as Donghyuck likes to call Mark a giant asshole and lament about how he’s a big meanie and this is all his fault, they were practically inseparable at one point. He knows how his brain works.

Unfortunately, this means that all of the anger Donghyuck harbors over Mark’s desperate need for an attitude change is surface level. The part of him opposite the one that likes to paint Mark out to be evil knows that Mark is most likely floundering just like he is. It is awkward, knowing someone so intimately and then not really speaking with them for years.

During Empathy, the fans had loved the interactions between the eighteen of them, specifically between Mark, Kun, and Dream. Now, going into Resonance there’s this kind of expectation they all feel to give the fans similar interactions like they know they’ve been hoping to see for two years now. But how are they supposed to act the same when their relationships aren’t the same?

It’s stressful, and Donghyuck knows it’s part of the reason things had started out so tense between all of them in the beginning of the week, but what else are they supposed to do?

Where Donghyuck has always dealt with uncomfortableness by being the loudest person in the room, Mark has dealt with it by retreating into himself and following instruction to a tee, so as not to be called out in front of a room full of his peers. It’s why he was known as a goody two shoes to anybody who wasn’t close enough to him to see below skin level. It’s likely why he’s been unable to deal with Donghyuck messing around and generally pushing limits to see how much he can get away with.

It’s a major reason why they were unable to get along as trainees. Too much pushing from both sides to conform into what they wanted each other to be. Donghyuck would be lying if he said he didn’t think things would never get back to that point.

Maybe they're not there yet, but the uncomfortable feeling itching Donghyuck’s skin is too familiar for him to feel they’re out of the clear. The mini arguments they’re falling into are petty and immature, and they’re both pushing each other’s buttons. If they don’t fix it soon, Donghyuck’s not positive it won’t quickly turn into the childish fighting of their early days. And that honestly scares him.

He knows someone has to give. Either he or Mark need to stop being so antagonistic (on Donghyuck’s part it’s mostly unintentional) or they need to agree to keep their mouths shut about it.

Mark learned how to fit with the loud, brash kid he had been saddled with when he was younger, Donghyuck’s determined to learn how to fit with the tyrannical Mark Lee of today.

The only thing is, he’s not very good at it.

—

After a few more days of being forced to be together and do nothing, Donghyuck gets the message declaring him a free man once again. Whoever decided all members of the NCT brand needed to strengthen their relationships must've been convinced they were successful in their endeavors. How, Donghyuck has no clue, but he doesn’t linger on that for too long.

They all have a few days off before things are going to get crazy. Donghyuck and Chenle use the opportunity to go shopping and get lunch.

“I’m gonna invite Sungchan,” Chenle tells him once they sit down at a restaurant.

Donghyuck nods, “You good if Taeil stops by? We were supposed to go out the other day but never did.” Chenle agrees and Donghyuck calls him up.

Taeil agrees quickly, explaining that he’s also out shopping in the area and asking if it’s okay if he brings someone along. Neither Donghyuck nor Chenle have an issue with it, so once everything’s set all they have to do is order enough food for five people and wait for everyone to show up.

They fill their time with mindless chatter about some book series Jisung has been forcing Chenle to read. Apparently Chenle’s been enjoying it, but he keeps complaining about it to Jisung because he thinks it’s funny when Jisung gets huffy and defensive. Donghyuck is inclined to agree.

Sungchan shows up first, timid at arrival even though he warms up quickly. Out of all the strained relationships Donghyuck’s learned he has this past week, Sungchan was the easiest to fix. The kid is nice (almost too nice, leaning on the wrong side of gullible) and he makes it easy to dote on him. Despite all his height, Sungchan takes well to being doted on, which meant he got along with Donghyuck relatively quickly. With Chenle even quicker, since Chenle was like an excited dog pissing on his favorite tree once he realized he had someone his age to hang out with.

“What’s Shotaro up to?” Donghyuck asks.

“Korean lessons,” Sungchan fills him in. “It’s his last big bout before debut so it’s super intense.”

“Damn, I remember doing that,” Chenle shivers. Donghyuck makes a sympathetic face. For him it’s just another comeback, but he still has an underlying current of stress and anxiety whenever he thinks about it too long. He couldn’t imagine the stress of debuting in such a large scale project.

“What’s up losers,” Taeil calls as he plops into a seat.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes even as he laughs. “Nice to see you as well.”

“Hello,” Mark says normally as he pulls out the chair directly across from Donghyuck. Donghyuck’s eyes shoot to Taeil who only shrugs instead of looking guilty and begging for forgiveness like Donghyuck wants him to.

Donghyuck, in a fit of pettiness, stops talking the moment Mark sits down. He of course responds when someone speaks directly at him or asks him a question, but he refuses to go past that. Mark seems to be out of his little pissy moods for the moment, conversing nicely with the table, so Donghyuck doesn’t want to ruin that. Or take part in it.

Once the food is brought out it’s easier for Donghyuck to stop sulking. Good food brings him right out of his funk, even though he kind of doesn’t want it to, and it feels better to eat when he’s not holding back every comment he wants to make.

“Here,” Mark huffs at him, placing a few pieces of meat onto Donghyuck’s plate. “You had a tough week, you should eat a lot.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise. “I wonder who’s fault it was that I had such a tough week.”

“Let me know if you figure it out,” Mark tells him lightly.

Chenle knocks his foot into Donghyuck’s ankle before he can respond, and Donghyuck shoves his mouth full of food to remind himself to be grateful for the food instead of spiteful about Mark’s bad attitude.

As much as it pains Donghyuck to admit, Mark’s not horrible to be around. He’s quieter than Donghyuck remembers him being, but not in the assholish way he’s been coming off in practices. It’s almost easy to fall into easy conversations like they haven’t been in a mini cold war for the past two weeks.

Mark smiles and laughs easily throughout the meal. Donghyuck has a moment to feel sorry for himself, questioning if it’s only him that Mark has a problem with, and why he’s singling Donghyuck out. There’s a few things he comes up with, but it seems a little self sacrificing to fully commit to the idea that it’s only him that Mark apparently hates. It doesn’t feel good to think about it for too long. The more he does, the more Donghyuck wants to pull Mark outside and yell at him until he admits he’s being a dick and begs for forgiveness.

“Are you okay? Sungchan whispers to him, face nervous like he’s worried he’s overstepping. Donghyuck wants to bite his cheeks.

“I’m good,” Donghyuck whispers back. He shakes off all his brewing emotions and zones back into the moment.

“Mark’s just upset because he doesn’t get to order anyone around,” Taeil teases. Donghyuck has no idea what they’re talking about but laughs anyway. Possibly too hard, if the look Mark gives him is any indication, but he can’t be blamed. It’s funny.

“Is Mark usually bossy?” Sungchan asks innocently.

Chenle snorts. “Have you been around the past two weeks?”

“It’s not bossiness,” Taeil amends, “it’s neurosis.”

“Screw you,” Mark huffs, tossing a balled up napkin at Taeil. “Some of us have to live in the real world and have responsibilities.”

“And some of us are likable,” Donghyuck chimes in, reveling in the way everyone laughs along. Mark just rolls his eyes, but Donghyuck can tell he wants to laugh deep, deep down.

“Are you guys down for coffee?” Chenle asks once all the food is gone. Donghyuck wants to say no, because he’s exhausted after having to be around Mark for so long, but all the others agree, so he really can’t say anything.

While they’re walking to a cafe down the street, Donghyuck ends up a few steps behind the rest of the group when he has to stop and tie his shoe. He’s still catching up when Mark pulls away from everyone else to wait for him.

“What?” Donghyuck bites as soon as he’s close enough.

“I didn’t even say anything and you’re already giving me attitude,” Mark complains.

Donghyuck sighs. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize,” Mark says haughtily, “but if you don’t want to talk to me I don’t have to.”

“No, go ahead,” Donghyuck goads, “please beg for me back.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark groans. “You make it so hard sometimes.”

Donghyuck stops in his tracks. “Make what hard? Hard for you to be nice to me? Hard for you to not criticize my every move?”

Mark drops his head and rubs at his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean? Because for the past two weeks you have done nothing but attack me at every opportunity, and humiliate me in front of everyone I work with.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark says.

“No.” Donghyuck stops him, “It’s not fair for you to pull me away from my friends and give me whatever chicken shit apology you think this is. Especially not after you’ve made my work place nearly unbearable.”

“Okay,” Mark cuts him off before he can continue. Which might be good timing, because Donghyuck’s internal monologue was quickly moving from grievances he held against Mark to full insults he’s been holding onto since they were reunited.

“I’m sorry,” Mark continues. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting, and how I’ve treated you. You didn’t, and don’t, deserve to be treated or talked to like that. Ever. It’s my own issues getting in my head and putting me on edge, but that’s my problem and not yours. I promise to do better and work on myself so I’m not taking shit out on you. I hope you can accept my apology, but if not I hope you’ll let me know what I can do to start making amends.”

Donghyuck stops in his tracks. “Did you look that up online?”

“Johnny helped me draft it,” Mark admits, “because I wanted to do this right. Because I’ve been a giant dick.”

“Yeah, you have.” Donghyuck agrees. He looks Mark up and down. Eyes his clasped hands and tense shoulders. Mark Lee has always been a terrible liar. Donghyuck would know, it’s gotten them caught in their schemes more times than he could ever count. Now, standing in front of him, Donghyuck can tell he’s being genuine.

“If you talk down to me ever again I’m selling your phone number,” Donghyuck threatens.

Mark’s face pinches. “I actually don’t think you have my new one.” Donghyuck glares. “But yeah. I promise not to.”

“Good. I forgive you then.” Donghyuck says, walking away. “You’re buying my coffee.”

Mark groans but doesn’t deny the request. And that’s how Donghyuck knows he won.

—

When recording starts, Donghyuck can honestly say he’s having a good time.

While things have been smoothed over, there’s still a very tentative understanding there that Donghyuck doesn’t really want to poke and prod too much. Luckily, they don’t have to. With the two of them not even sharing a single song for this recording period there’s really no need for them to interact much, which Donghyuck sees as a blessing. Mark can say he understands the error of his ways all he wants, but Donghyuck knows now is not the time to test it. Maybe later when they don’t have to be on camera would be better.

Instead, he gets to spend time with Taeil practicing for their recordings of two song’s they get to do together, practicing the Dream stage well into the night, and pulling Sungchan and Shotaro out with him and his friends during the day.

Sungchan and Shotaro are especially fun in the beginning, when they’re all wide eyed and overly polite. Eventually, though, Donghyuck beats it into their heads that he’s chill and if they’re going to be in the same group he’s going to force them to be his friends at some point so they might as well drop the pretenses. It works, and the next time the two of them join the Dream dorm for dinner it’s full of loud laughter and the automated voice of the online translator they use half the time for Shotaro once he finally drops pretending like he understands them all the time.

Moments like those, like waiting with bated breath as the rest of them wait for Shotaro to understand the joke and laugh along with them, really strike Donghyuck as time’s he’ll be grateful for when he’s old and retired.

He runs into Mark a few times, when they’re entering the practice room as Mark is leaving, or when Donghyuck’s recording time runs into Mark’s, but it’s not stressful. Donghyuck’s able to let bygones be bygones and greet Mark casually.

It’s especially easy as he starts to hear about more and more interactions Mark’s carrying out with the other members of Dream, specifically Jeno and Jaemin. Supposedly even having a super secret practice/chill session that Donghyuck wasn’t invited to.

Eventually they were going to run into each other. That’s just how life as members of the same group works. It just so happens that Donghyuck’s filming their UnCut series in the waiting room when Mark shows up. It’s awkward for half a second until Donghyuck pulls Mark onto the couch next to him by the neck.

“Mark-ssi,” He starts holding a fake microphone up to his lips, “How would you say your recordings have been going?”

Mark leans into the fake microphone when Donghyuck moves it towards him. “I would say they’ve been going fairly well, Donghyuck-ssi. How about yours?”

“Well,” Donghyuck leans in close to the camera, “You heard it here first, folks. Mark Lee lying on camera, caught after Jaehyun gave us the inside scoop of Mark causing them all to run late yesterday.” Donghyuck flinches right after saying it, pretending to brace for a hit he knows will never actually come. Mark plays along, putting a hand over the camera and pretending to wrestle Donghyuck off of the couch.

“Then what do you have to say about Doyoung going into the booth to help you?” Mark throws back.

“Lies and slander!” Donghyuck cries, pushing Mark off of him and squirming his way to the end of the couch, “Do you have any proof?”

Mark gapes at him. “Do you have any proof that I made everyone run late?”

“Isn’t your reaction proof enough?” Donghyuck teases, laughing when Mark makes like he’s going to go after him again.

Mark throws up the scissor fingers, his own request to have this bit cut out of the final edit even if they both know it most likely won’t be. It’s not until the camera is put away that they start an actual conversation.

“Are you done?” Mark asks.

“Yep,” Donghyuck nods, “It was just the Dream song and now I’m home free.”

“And you’ve liked all your parts?”

“They’re my parts, obviously they’re the best part of the song.”

Mark laughs, shoving Donghyuck gently. “Don’t you think that's a bit much, even for you?”

“I could never be too much, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck tells him seriously.

“I distinctly remember you saying almost the same thing when we were kids.” Mark tells him.

Donghyuck shrugs, “I was a baby genius, even back then. What can I say?”

“Nothing that won't make you seem more amazing then you already do,” Mark answers sarcastically.

“At least you can admit it.” Donghyuck winks at him. It’s then that Donghyuck gets the call that the van to take him home is there. It’s a relief, because Donghyuck is well and truly exhausted, but he does feel a little bad about leaving Mark alone in the otherwise empty room.

Still, as he walks down the halls of SM he feels a little lighter. Barring any major complications, the rest of this project seems like it’s going to go by smoothly.

Even if there’s a healthy amount of doubt in that way of thinking, Donghyuck really hopes all of their progress isn’t for nothing.

—

In the most unexpected move Jeno has made since he was thirteen, he invites Mark over to the dream dorm.

He does it without telling Donghyuck first, because if he had Donghyuck would have talked some sense into him and forced him to realize what a monumentally bad idea that would be.

Instead, he does it without any consultation and gets shut down in front of all of Dream. It’s honestly kind of funny to see the complete shock on Jeno’s face, who hasn’t been rejected since he hit puberty, when Mark tells him he’ll probably just sleep on his free day. The move is a little assholish in Donghyuck’s opinion, who would have made up a lie rather than just saying no I don’t really want to hang out with you people, but Mark is an asshole so the response makes sense actually.

Jaemin pats Jeno on the back good naturedly when Mark leaves and that’s the end of that. No harm no foul. Until Thursday comes around, and at ten in the morning Jeno gets a text saying that actually, Mark didn’t sleep in as late as he thought he would so he will be coming over.

That one text sends the whole house into a frenzy, with everyone running to their respective rooms and frantically trying to clean it. Renjun delegates Donghyuck to the living room, which is unfair because the living room is full of everyone’s trash and therefore dirtier than their own room, but Donghyuck doesn’t even want to try going against Renjun so early in the morning. Instead he picks up the trash slowly, waiting for Jisung to finish with his room early and come and help out. It only takes them all of thirty minutes to get their dorm presentable enough to host guests, which leaves another thirty minutes for Donghyuck to stress about whether things are going to go alright or not.

Donghyuck has hope that Mark apologizing and being a normal functioning member of society these past few weeks will only work in their favor. Unfortunately, this hope turns out to just be wishful thinking.

Mark gets there at eleven-o-one, which is exactly what Donghyuck expected. Not early, but not eleven on the dot so it doesn’t seem like he was waiting in his car outside. The time doesn’t really matter anyways, since Jisung was sitting in front of the window and informed them all when the big black van they all know and love pulled into the car park at eleven fifty-six.

Things are fine at first. Mark declines a drink, then agrees with Jeno that they should play League. They set up at the kitchen table, which means that when Donghyuck agrees to watch the latest episode of the show he's been watching with Renjun and Jisung, they’re all basically in the same room.

The day at least appears to be going well for at least twenty minutes. Then, Jeno suggests ordering lunch and the only thing Mark responds back with is “no”. Everything goes downhill from there.

Donghyuck can see the anxiety running like live wires across Mark’s back. Can see it in the way he’s acting even easier. Yet still, he can't find it in him to excuse Mark’s dwindling attitude fully.

After that one simple question, Mark doesn’t say more than one word sentences unless he’s barking orders at Jeno about their game. It’s grating, especially while they’re trying to watch their show. Thankfully, it doesn’t last much longer. Donghyuck fully intends to book it into his room, unable to bear Mark’s awkwardness a second later. Before he can, Renjun has a grip on his elbow telling him they’re not going to leave Jeno behind and forcing both him and Jisung to stay with him on the couch.

He tries to leave it alone. He really really does. But after the fifth joke Jeno makes that Mark barely acknowledges, Donghyuck stands from his spot and directs himself to the kitchen, batting away Jisung and Renjun’s hands trying to stop him. He’s not in the mood to start a fight, so instead he lays across Jeno’s back, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and complaining about how hungry he is.

It angers him when he can feel the tension bleed out of Jeno’s shoulders, but Donghyuck puts all that emotion to the side, instead pressing his forehead further into the space between Jeno’s shoulders to let him know he’s there.

“We can order food when the round is over,” Jeno promises him. Donghyuck hums his agreement, moving to sit on the side of Jeno and leaning his head on Jeno’s shoulder. When they’re done, with a satisfying ending of Jeno killing Mark at the last second, Donghyuck pulls out his phone, scrolling through the menu of their usual place and pointing out what looks good to him. “Is there anything you’d like to eat?” Jeno asks Mark, offering the phone to him.

Mark shakes his head, not lifting his eyes from his own phone as he declines the offer. Donghyuck bristles at the obvious disrespect, but quickly schools his features when Jeno looks at him worriedly. Rather than make a big deal out of anything, Donghyuck selects an option that he knows Mark will like and goes to confirm with Renjun and Jisung.

The wait for their lunch is exhausting. Donghyuck tries for at least twenty minutes to coax Mark out of his shell and hopefully pull the stick out of his ass, to no avail. There’s no obvious reason as to Mark’s sudden regression, but it’s too much for Donghyuck to handle. He gives up just minutes before the food arrives, retreating back to the couch as Renjun walks into the kitchen. There’s the bitter taste of defeat on his tongue, but Donghyuck can’t force himself to go back into the kitchen until the food is laid out and ready to eat. Even when Renjun forces Mark to sit with them and eat a meal, Mark is nothing more than barely polite.

Jaemin shows up just as chopsticks and plates are being passed around, never one to miss a meal he didn’t have to pay for or work on. His eyes are half closed, like they always are when he’s pretending like he just woke up and hasn’t just been ignoring them all morning. He’s probably doing it more to convince Mark, since all of the Dream members have been able to see right through him for years now.

Unfortunately, Jaemin’s presence doesn’t change much in Mark’s case. Lunch is spent with the five of them joking around, and Mark’s attention focused on his phone. Jaemin tells him once there are no phones at the table, which gets Mark to put it away. Still, when he pulls it back out after five minutes of complete silence from him, no one bothers commenting on it again.

Donghyuck finds it easy to ignore Mark, to the right of Jeno and directly in front of Renjun. At this point, he doesn’t wish for Mark’s commentary on anything that he says or anything that’s happening around them. He’s quite content with pretending Mark’s not there at all.

“Mark,” Jisung prods. “Are you excited for everything that’s happening?” Donghyuck stares at Mark, imagining a red laser shooting through his eyes and burning a hole directly through his weirdly shaped eyebrows.

“Mm,” Mark shrugs, at least meeting Jisung’s eyes for a second before looking back down, “A little bit. It’s just another comeback. I’m not even promoting this one.”

Jisung wilts, just a little, and Donghyuck feels white hot rage shoot through his heart.

“The next album will be more exciting for all of us,” Jeno pipes in, smiling at everyone around the table.

“Not me,” Jaemin sighs, leaning back on his palms, “I wanted to be in a group with one of you.”

“We’ll be in “Work it” together.” Jisung mentions.

Jaemin brightens up, smiling brightly at Jisung. “That’s true! Then we'll get to be the cutest pair in our group.”

“See,” Renjun reaches over the table, stealing rice from Donghyuck’s bowl and plopping himself back into his seat, “Complaining does get you somewhere.”

Donghyuck tsks at him but moves his bowl closer to the middle, already full and mostly just lingering at the table out of obligation. As Renjun takes it, Donghyuck feels someone tug at his shirt sleeve, turning to see Jisung giving him a pleading look.

Donghyuck shakes his head at him, silently telling him he has no idea what he wants. Jisung looks pointedly at Donghyuck’s pocket, widening his eyes for effect.

As inconspicuous as Donghyuck can manage, he slides his phone out of his pocket, just enough to see the top of the screen where a message is waiting for him from Jisung.

jisungie

hyung
pls get me out of here

Donghyuck sighs, quickly checking to make sure nobody’s paying attention to him slipping his phone out of his pocket completely and into his lap.

jisungie

we’re eating

really? I havent been able to tell

who r u talking to w that attitude

sry
but pls im so desperate to get away from these ppl rn

The texts are so dramatic Donghyuck can’t help but roll his eyes. Getting up and leaving would just be rude, and Donghyuck’s a firm believer in toughing it out sometimes, so he makes the executive decision to leave Jisung be. He can handle it, and if it gets any worse Donghyuck will help him make an escape.

This time comes sooner than even Donghyuck expected.

All it takes is Renjun asking, “How was the tour?”

And Mark responding with a bland, “It was fine.” Before Donghyuck’s standing up, pulling Jisung along with him with a hand on his arm. “We’re going to go to my room.” He excuses them both, smiling tightly before whispering “Go,” in Jisung’s ear and pushing him forward to get him moving.

Mark can apologize all he wants, but until he can sit in a room and not ignore most the people in it Donghyuck is not going to be participating in any hang out’s he may be a part of.

Donghyuck slams the door shut, uncaring if it’s a little too loud to be passed off as an accident. “You alright?” He turns to face Jisung, who’s scratching at his wrist with a frown.

“It was so awkward I started getting a rash. See?” He thrusts his arm at Donghyuck who inspects it thoroughly and sees nothing.

“My poor baby,” Donghyuck coos, reaching a hand out to ruffle his hair.

Jisung leans into the touch briefly before shoving Donghyuck away and going to lay on his bed. “What now?”

“Don’t act like you’re going to do anything but play on your phone,” Donghyuck chastises him lightly. Jisung rolls his eyes, mumbling about how he does lots of other stuff, but turns onto his stomach and pulls out his phone as he’s saying it.

Laying on Renjun’s bed, Donghyuck pulls out his phone as well, opening up the latest game he’s downloaded and getting started on it. They stay like that for at least an hour before the door opens, slow enough that Donghyuck knows something weird is happening.

Despite all odds, it’s Mark who pops his head through the crack, meeting Donghyuck’s eyes awkwardly, just like he does everything else. There’s not a thought that comes to Donghyuck’s mind that he can say, out loud at least, which ends up with them just awkwardly staring at each other until Jisung notices somebody else has joined them in the room and flinches hard enough that he falls off the bed.

“Holy shit,” Mark swears, “Are you okay?”

Donghyuck snorts, watching Jisung get back onto his bed, “He’s fine. Did you need something?”

“Um, yeah,” Mark squints. “Jaemin said you had Mario Kart in here?”

“It’s on the shelf,” Donghyuck nods in the direction Mark needs to go in, going back to his phone. There’s silence as Mark shuffles across the room to grab what he needs and then just stands there, unmoving. Donghyuck leaves him be, thinking that maybe he’s trying to decide which Mario Kart to grab, until Mark clears his throat, grabbing both his and Jisung’s attention.

“Uh, did you guys want to come play with us?” As soon as he asks Jisung’s eyes shoot to Donghyuck’s, minutely shaking his head.

Donghyuck pushes himself up to a sitting position. “I think we’re good.”

Mark nods but doesn’t make any move to leave the room. Staring at him gets Donghyuck nowhere, leading him to prod Mark on why he’s still there. “I was kind of wondering, if, like, you were coming out at all today?”

If Mark were fifteen again, Donghyuck wouldn’t be as annoyed about the question as he is. But Mark is not fifteen again. He’s twenty-two and has had six years since the age of fifteen to learn what is and is not acceptable behavior. Donghyuck has tried to be a good sport about everything, has tried to give Mark grace for his social incapabilities, but at this point he’s really, really tired of it.

“Probably not.” He says sharply. “Maybe once the apartment has cleared out a bit.”

“Hyung,” Jisung sits up, alarmed.

“What exactly does that mean?” Mark asks, making a face.

“It means that once I feel as though I can be comfortable in my own home I’ll start thinking about rejoining society.”

“I’m assuming that’s a dig at me,” Mark crosses his arms, leaning into a hip.

“Considering you’re the only difference in this house compared to a normal day, you would be assuming correctly.” Donghyuck smiles sarcastically.

Mark scoffs, eyeing Donghyuck up and down. “And what crime have I committed that was so horrible in your eyes?”

“Hm,” Donghyuck tilts his head like he has to actually think about it, “Maybe being completely insufferable and a huge jackass?”

“I’m the jackass?” Mark gapes.

“I think that’s what I just said.”

“And what about you? Who’s so quick to point out everybody else’s fault and refuses to look inward at himself even in the slightest.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “You can try to turn this around on me, but I would never in my life even imagine treating people the way you have been these past few weeks. Get pissed if you want, but please don’t pretend that today isn’t just a tiny sliver of the long list of transgressions we’ve all been having to deal with.”

“It’s incredible that someone can apologize for something and you can’t stop holding it against them.” Mark says, shaking his head.

Donghyuck stands up, blood literally boiling with rage. He wishes he could say every mean thought that’s popping up in his head, sling as many insults at Mark as he could manage to say, but that would kind of defeat his ‘I’m better than you’ approach that he’s taking. “You can’t apologize for something and then go right back to doing it, Mark Lee. You have to stop the shitty behavior and attone for anybody to take your lame ass apology seriously.”

“If you can’t get over the past, that’s your problem.” Mark scoffs, heading for the door.

“That past was two fucking weeks ago!” Donghyuck yells, “Maybe look inside yourself to figure out why you’re unable to be nice to people unless there’s a camera in your face instead of getting pissed at the people pointing it out to you!” The door slams shut so hard Donghyuck’s genuinely afraid the one framed picture they have hanging up on the wall, taken right after their debut stage, is going to fall and shatter like in a movie. It doesn’t, thankfully, but once the worry about having to clean up broken glass is gone, the anger that was filling Donghyuck up evaporates, and he’s left feeling like he’s just done something he really, really shouldn’t have.

That feeling expands when he sees the look on Jisung’s pale white face. Terror, like he’s just watched The Ring again. Donghyuck sighs, going and sitting beside him. “Sorry,” He murmurs.

Jisung doesn’t respond at first but still allows Donghyuck to take his hand and hold it. “Why would you do that?” He finally asks.

“I’m tired of the way he’s been acting,” Donghyuck sighs, flopping back on his bed, “He’s been treating us all like garbage for weeks. I thought he got over himself when we went out to eat with Taeil and them, but today was really the last straw.”

“Maybe he would take criticism better if we didn’t yell it at him.” Jisung offers.

“How are you better than me at this?” Donghyuck groans, throwing the arm that’s not attached to Jisung over his eyes.

“I’m a pacifist.” Jisung shrugs.

“I know you are.” Donghyuck sighs again, squeezing Jisung’s hand gently. “Sorry, I got you involved.”

“I’ll forgive you if you buy me that game.” Jisung grins cutely, nose bunching up.

“When did our Jisungie become such a swindler?” Donghyuck asks, unable to hold back his own smile. “Deal, though.”

Even though Donghyuck knows he shouldn’t have yelled at Mark like that, in front of an audience no less, he can’t completely regret it. Mark needs some sense knocked in his head, and if Donghyuck is the only one who’s willing to do it he’s fine with that. He can admit that he needs to do a better job at it next time, maybe be, like, five hundred times more gentle, but oh well. He’s younger than Mark and trying to rehabilitate him, that was never going to go over completely smoothly. Not his fault. Maybe some of the adults around them who knew Mark better should have stepped in first, and it wouldn’t have come to this.

Jeno disagrees, if the scolding texts he gets over the next two hours mean anything, but Donghyuck is used to getting scolded by Jeno, so he tries to let it roll off of him. If he feels as though he needs to apologize, eventually he will. For now, though, the only plans he has is waiting for Mark Lee to get out of his house and then going to find something for dinner.

—

After the war of twenty thirteen to twenty fifteen, there wasn’t a minute where you would find Mark and Donghyuck without each other.

It was strange for baby Donghyuck, who had hated Mark so viscerally and wholly for so long, to suddenly find himself unable to keep away from the elder for even a moment. It was even stranger when the remarks about their closeness started.

The war only really ended because the older trainees were so annoyed with it. The last fight they ever have, the fight to end all fights, makes it so that everyone around them is annoyed with them all the time.

Donghyuck can’t remember how it started, but he does remember how it ended. With Doyoung, who was the one stopping most of their arguments, storming into the room they were fighting in and telling them that if they were so hellbent on making everybody’s lives miserable it was working, and to take the yelling outside before they kicked them out.

Fourteen year old Donghyuck saw this as the biggest betrayal he would ever face. Fifteen year old Mark took it as an opportunity to ditch the conversation where it was, heading out the front door of their dorm and not returning until hours later.

They didn’t talk for four days. This was the most peaceful time in Donghyuck’s school career, when he was able to go about his day without Mark lingering around him.

It was also the most isolating time of his school career.

Jeno and Jaemin at this point were completely over both of them. In a fairly heated conversation, Jaemin informed him that they would not be taking sides, and if he and Mark couldn’t figure it out that was not their problem. Another betrayal and a major hit to his ego.

The week was spent with Donghyuck wandering the halls by himself, mentally cursing Jeno and Jaemin as they went to the convenience store holding hands during their breaks.

Donghyuck had a lot of friends, because that’s the kind of person he is. Still, he didn’t want to deal with the questions about the sudden break up of his friend group. Instead he chose to spend a few days alone, thinking everything over.

Training wasn’t much better.

The obvious chasm between Mark and Donghyuck was uncomfortable for everyone. Apparently, they were tired of being uncomfortable with the two of them in the same room. The days were filled with them both being snapped at more often than usual, to the point that Donghyuck even stopped trying to do little things to piss Mark off more.

It’s on the fifth day that Mark shows up to Donghyuck’s classroom.

Donghyuck is minding his business, being a good student and studying, when the door slides open. It catches his attention, as well as the attention of the other five students that elected to stay in their classroom for their break. Unfortunately, it’s Mark that’s standing on the other side of the doorway. Donghyuck originally ignores him, and it works. Until Mark walks directly up to his desk, calling his name softly and asking him to go to the convenience store with him. He really doesn’t want to, but Donghyuck is in the midst of training to become an idol. He knows how important your classmates' stories are of your time in school, and he knows he can’t mess that up for himself or Mark. Instead of telling Mark to go to hell like he wants to, he follows him out of the class and halfway to the convenience store, where Mark pulls him to the side and into an alleyway.

It’s there that they hash out their differences. Ironically, nothing is really said to solve the mountain-sized pile of issues they both have against each other. Instead, it’s both of them deciding that they can’t continue as they have been. It’s driving everyone around them to the edge, and it’s not healthy for either of them to be constantly angry. They both agree to leave each other alone, and to only get mad about things if it’s really really serious.

Surprisingly, it works.

When Donghyuck isn’t constantly fuming over everything that exits out of Mark’s mouth, he can admit that Mark’s actually kind of funny. Not funny like Donghyuck, not even funny like Ten who says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times to make them all burst into laughter. Rather, it’s more like he’s not even trying, instead getting surprised when the group of them start laughing and preening over the littlest giggles. Donghyuck likes it because it’s cute, and also because it’s not a threat to the raucous, uncontrollable laughter he gets out of their friends. He starts to realize maybe he and Mark fit better than he thought.

Everybody expects Mark to debut with them at this point. It was one of the driving forces to making them get along, since they couldn’t last ten minutes without one snarky comment being said and being around them arguing for too long would make Jisung itch, they all knew it wouldn’t work out if they didn’t get it together. Maybe it’s not the best reasoning to stop hating someone, but it worked out in the end.

In an unexpected twist, it causes Mark and Donghyuck to become MarkandDonghyuck. Fairly quickly they start hanging out more and more. While Jeno and Jaemin go off and do their best friend things together, Mark and Donghyuck do the same. It becomes easier everyday to lean into his forced closeness with Mark instead of resenting it.

Eventually they’re both living out of the other's pockets. Other SMRookies start making comments about how inseparable they are. The instructors tell them it’s a good thing they’re forging the kind of relationship fans like to see. Their friends make jokes at their expense about how they’re dating. It would be more annoying if it wasn’t the most secure Donghyuck’s felt in this company since he joined.

It’ll always be a good thing to have a lot of friends, but it’s so much better to have that one person you can always go to.

Mark becomes that for Donghyuck. Jeno and Jaemin have each other, Jisung is too young for Donghyuck to feel comfortable dumping all of his problems on him, and all the older trainees are going through so much it’s hard to be another thing they have to deal with. Instead, Donghyuck’s been keeping it all in for the time being. With his newfound friendship with Mark, he doesn’t have to do that anymore.

Under the cover of the inky black sky, it’s easy for them to lay out all of their worries in front of them.

Supporting each other through all their anxiety’s is all they need to take the next step of their relationship: being just as codependent as Jaemin and Jeno.

If their sudden closeness was noticeable before, it’s practically spread across a billboard after their late night talks start. Mark’s never been super into skinship, and he still isn’t, but it becomes more common for Donghyuck to run his hand along Mark’s back while they’re taking a break, or for Mark to sit pressed shoulder to hip with Donghyuck in the dorm, or sitting on the floor of the practice room, or to have Donghyuck fiddling with Mark’s fingers in his lap when they’re not doing anything but hanging out together. Their honesty and openness with each other opens up a whole nother facet of their relationship Donghyuck previously didn’t think was possible between him and another person.

There are, of course, the comments being made about them being boyfriends, and when Donghyuck occasionally mentions how close they are when new trainees try to close in on Mark there are crows for days about how he’s the jealous boyfriend. These are all easily ignorable to Donghyuck, who would take hours of teasing beratement for the easy comfort he can find in Mark.

Eventually Donghyuck can admit to some of their friends' claims. Mark and him are a little flirty with each other. But is it such a big deal?

Jaemin was Jeno’s first kiss, and no one says anything to them about being unable to leave each other alone. Instead, as Jaemin and Jeno sneak off together, sweat slick hands clasped together and lips a little bruised on their return, Mark and Donghyuck get the side comments just for standing a little too close together. One time it was because in the middle of Mark’s conversation Donghyuck went and attached himself to Mark’s back, dragging Mark’s attention away from who he was talking to to instead focus on wrestling Donghyuck off of him and then to the ground. Another time was because no matter how many times Mark pushed him off Donghyuck wouldn’t stop wrapping himself around Mark’s arm.

When Donghyuck thinks back on this time now, he can recognize that most of the teasing was due to him. However, Mark never complained about what everyone else was saying. It was just about what Donghyuck was doing, but Donghyuck knew him inside and out and knew for a fact that Mark was just trying to keep up with appearances. In Donghyuck’s opinion, the teasing would have slowed down a lot sooner if Mark didn’t give such loud reactions to all of Donghyuck’s affection.

It never bothered Donghyuck, anyways. He knew his relationship with Mark was what a lot of people would consider more than friends, but they didn’t. They could be like this and not have to push it any further. There was great comfort for Donghyuck to be able to be who he wanted with Mark, without worrying about any pretenses or misunderstandings between them. Sometimes it felt like no one other than Mark would be able to understand him in this way, but Donghyuck didn’t have to worry about that. They were going to be idols, and idols couldn’t date anyways. There was no need to worry about anything to do with managing romance and friendships and what that would look like in his line of work.

Now, years later, Donghyuck mildly resents this closeness he once had with Mark. There’s not a doubt in his mind that those memories linger in Mark’s mind as well, another reason for him to feel uncomfortable around Donghyuck and the people he once considered his closest friends.

When they all thought they were going to debut together, it was easy for the staff to compliment them on their newfound friendship, reminding them that the fans would enjoy members who seemed like their bonds ran deep. After they found out Mark wouldn’t be joining the lineup for Dream, something that had seemed so intrinsic to their group bonds was shattered.

In return for the loss of who they all assumed would be their leader, they got Renjun and Chenle. Two crucial pieces of the larger NCT Dream puzzle. Donghyuck was grateful for them when they entered, especially for the ease sitting in silence with Chenle gave Jisung and the brightness Renjun brought to all of them, but there was still a lingering disappointment that Mark would be missing. Regardless, their concept was one small unit within a larger group. Maybe Mark wouldn’t debut in their unit, but they would still be in the same group. Donghyuck was confident that would be enough.

And it was, at first. They all debuted, and it was amazing and stressful and gut-wrenching all at the same time, but they did it. First Mark, then Dream, and then both of them one right after the other with My First and Last and Limitless.

Back then, there was still time for them all to hang out. They were busy, busier than Donghyuck thought six teenagers could be, but there were pockets of time where nobody had anything to do, and they got to see Mark or all of the members of the bigger brand of NCT would get together and discuss what had been happening.

Everything was good. Great, even. Donghyuck got to do what he loved with the people he loved, and see everyone else a few times a month. The Dream members made sure to keep Mark as involved as possible so he never felt left out, and life was easy.

The memories that persist almost make the stifling silences that blanket their interactions with Mark worse, somehow. Donghyuck thinks that if he never knew what being loved and cared for by Mark felt like, having a chasm of apathy between them wouldn’t feel so much like a single hair being plucked out of his head.

When Mark lashes out, or goes silent in moments of chaos, Donghyuck knows what that means. He knows his other members know what that means as well. The problem is that Mark acts like they don’t. Or, at least, like he doesn’t want them to.

So Donghyuck has to let it go. But there are moments where he gets snapshots of his old Mark back, like getting an actual apology or watching him breakdown a rap syllable by syllable for Shotaro to practice without judgment, that make it more difficult than it should be. It seems like Mark from before is still in there under all the assholishness, somewhat entwined with the new Mark that has formed through the two years Donghyuck hasn’t seen him.

And Donghyuck has no clue how to reconcile with that.