Chapter Text
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm bein' honest
It might've been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
The miraculous of the Ladybug. The power of creation. It put a lot of responsibility on Marinette who's young self had just caught a glimpse of the vastness of the world. Once she got the hang of swinging from one rooftop to another, she was announced as the new miracle box guardian. She chad everything a teenager could dream of. Loving parents, a passionate dream that she wanted to pursue, good grades, a loving and trusting friend group, good looks and a crush who was probably the hottest boy in town. And oh, did I mention, she had a ex-boyfriend who still loved her to death?
But living this 'perfect' life became a burden from the responsibilities which she carried as Ladybug...or now, the guardian of the miracle box. But when pain started seeping from the cracks of her mental health, her friends starting noticing. It was mostly Alya who worried about her. When Marinette's vessel of emotions filled to the point where emotions started to overflow, she broke down and told Alya everything. Maybe that was why she could trust Alya with her life now and not Chat Noir. Alya knew her identity.
Maybe if she thought it out a bit more, she wouldn't be here.
Thought I could fly
So I stepped off the Golden
Nobody cried
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care
Marinette thought everything was fine. She thought Chat Noir was fine just because he said so. She thought everything was going as planned. That they could stop Chat Blanc from happening and could catch Hawkmoth and then she could be with Adrien, happy as ever. In her little fantasy world, she soared in happiness thinking of how everything would work out, how everything would end perfectly. How dead wrong she was. The day she saw Bunnix appear with an agitated expression and a furious ladybug from the future, she knew she fucked up again.
Poor little Marinette, she thought that everything would work out, like it always did. She thought Chat Noir would understand, like he always did, that he would stay. Even when she didn't think of including him in their plans, or if she went on a Patrol with Rena. She thought he would understand.
oh how dead wrong she was.
And you say, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you hear
'They don't deserve you'"
As she rushed to the scene where apparently "Adrien Agreste committed suicide", she thought how the news was false or a ghastly prank played by a toddler. But as she finally got near his body, she broke down, on her knees. Not her Adrien. Not the love of her life. Her heart clenched as she saw Adrien's bloody body on the ground and she hadn't felt such sadness ever in her life. She couldn't bear seeing him like this. She swore she would anything for this boy and she couldn't believe that she failed so miserably as a friend. Tears which spilled relentlessly out of her eyes. All she could think was 'why'. Had she and others not been good enough friends so that he could trust them with his thoughts? She shakily got up from her position as she saw the paramedics taking away Adrien's body. She looked up towards the edge of the building and she knew Adrien couldn't have left without a note.
She rushed to the edge of the building which was almost emptied out because Paris' teenage heartthrob was no more. she ran and ran, probably stumbled a little along the flight of stairs and as she finally got to the top, she saw the box, the box which contained the miraculous of destruction and suddenly, everything made sense. It all clicked.
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I'm not just somebody's daughter
Marinette's heart had never dropped faster. Her heartbeat quickened as she slowly approached the box and opened it. The ring of Chat Noir rested in it with a paper slip, which read "Thank you Ladybug, Plagg, Nino, Alya and to the girl who was my first friend and first crush, Marinette". Marinette released a gut wrenching sob as she broke down crying.
It was all her fault.
Maybe if she used her head a little, Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste would be alive. Maybe if she paid more attention, she could have saved them. she felt her heart break and the ache wasn't pleasant at all. She soon realized that the pain of loosing someone as described in books and movies, was real. And it hurt. It hurt so bad that she couldn't heard the way Plagg whizzed out of the Cat Miraculous and looked down on her with anger, she couldn't hear Tikki stopping Plagg from cataclysming the building and she couldn't hear the voice of Plagg sobbing. She could hear nothing. The only voice she could hear was of Chat Noir...no, Adrien, saying that "Anything for you, m'lady" and his puns and his laughter. It all faded into nothingness because she couldn't see that Chat Noir so desperately needed her. If only she could be a better friend, a better partner, none of this would've happened!
The waterfall of tears didn't stop as she clutched the miraculous box tightly near her chest. She screamed and sobbed for the love she ignored and for the man who loved her so dearly.
The part which hurt Marinette most was that she couldn't reverse everything like usual by chanting "miraculous ladybug". Nothing could ever bring back the lost unless she could go back in time. Just as thought this, Bunnix appeared from a portal, extending her hand.
"Come on, mini bug, you've got a lot to fix"
She gladly took her hand and walked into the portal.
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead
As she got into Bunnix' portal, she saw all the moments she spent with Chat Noir and she scoffed at her foolishness. How could she ever abandon the boy who would gladly sacrifice his life for her, the one who always supported and stayed with her through thick and thin, how could she ever leave the boy who was her true partner?
She reminisced of the times Chat Noir told her that he would do anything for her. He truly could do anything for her.
Ladybug felt guilty of saying Chat Noir all those things. She was guilty of the words that she spoke, which were like daggers to Chat Noirs heart. She cringed in anger as she saw the time when she shoved Chat Noir into a dustbin and when she blatantly disregarded how depressed Chat Noir felt and his cry for help. She saw how she shrugged off his comment about taking his miraculous back while she was at it and her fists clenched in anger as she saw that her ignorance made chat noir doubt himself to the point where he thought suicide was a better option than living. She felt Tikki and Plagg shift uncomfortably in her purse. She knew Plagg had a lot to say and that Tikki couldn't calm him down this time. She would gladly take Plagg's insults after getting Chat Noir back though. Bunnix tried hard to find the time where Adrien was still hoping to be heard, it felt as if he had given a long time back.
Marinette entered the timeline that bunnix thought could fix things. She transformed in a sheltered place as she left for the Agreste Mansion. As she reached the Agreste Mansion, she saw Chat Noir checking his staff cum phone for any messages from Ladybug as he sighed in disappointment of having none. Ladybug felt her heart clench.
She quietly walked over to chat noir and sat beside him.
"Hey kitty"
She somehow managed to convince him that he was important to her and that she wouldn't be ladybug without chat noir, how he wasn't just like another hero and that he was irreplaceable. Her heart broke as she heard the dead voice of Chat Noir for the first time, but she was glad he wouldn't jump and kill himself. She let him cry on her shoulder as she consoled him and she couldn't say that everything was ok but she was glad that Chat Noir was with her. She assured herself that even if she knew his identity as Adrien, she wouldn't ever let him get Akumatised, that she would protect him.
The Miraculous of Ladybug. The power of creation. She couldn't have been more glad that she had created a bond with Chat Noir again. She knew that she would do anything just to see him smile and she was going to ensure that his pretty smile never faded.