Chapter Text
Itadori Kaori considers herself a good parent. Not the best, and definitely not the worst either, but good enough that she makes sure her son will grow up to be a decent person.
So when Yuuji, at the age of five, said a bad word for the first time and suddenly distanced himself from her, it made her think about where she went wrong.
It was a quiet evening. The Itadori family were having dinner, Kaori and her husband talking in hushed voices while Yuuji read something on his mom's phone, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Kaori was about to respond to Jin- her husband- when she heard Yuuji whisper, "Fuck".
She whipped her head to look at Yuuji, mouth agape and eyes wide. Did she hear that right? No one in their family has ever swore, as far as she knows; Yuuji couldn't have learned that from them.
"Yuuji! Watch your language!" She berated him. Yuuji didn't flinch or utter a word, only gripped the phone before placing it face down on the table. His complexion was pale.
Kaori observed him for a moment, then gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Yuuji? Are you alright?"
Yuuji slowly turned to face her. He is looking at her, yet she feels he's not really seeing her. She called his name again, softly this time.
It seemed to do the trick. Yuuji opened his mouth, then closed it shortly after. He gently pushed away the hand on his shoulder and got up, leaving Kaori's phone on the table, his food halfway eaten.
"I'm fine, mom." Yuuji paused. "I want to be alone for now.."
Kaori doesn't want Yuuji to close himself off, but something tells her she can't help with what's bothering him, so reluctantly, she lets him go to his room with a kiss on the forehead and a "good night".
This is not the first time Kaori has failed to understand her son. Sometimes, Yuuji would stare at her when she didn't notice. Other times, he would cry out of nowhere when he thought she couldn't see him, wiping his tears with his sleeves. He was a silent crier.
There was also the way he handled himself. Yuuji is too mature for his age, an old soul trapped inside a young boy. Instead of toys scattered on the floor of his room, there were books neatly stacked in the corner and the occasional scribbles of his favorite scenes in a manga he read.
It didn't look.. Lived-in. No signs of a five year old occupying the room except for a small brown teddy named "Suku".
A hand grasping hers brought Kaori back to the present.
"Kaori." Jin said, his voice soothing her nerves. "He'll be alright. For now, we give him space. If he doesn't mention it in the next few days, we can ask him after, yeah?"
Kaori exhaled. She didn't notice she was holding her breath.
She nods.
__________
Yuuji's mind is in turmoil. He made sure his parents didn't follow him before diving into bed, burrowing himself beneath his mound of blankets.
Sendai. He's born in Sendai and his parents have almost the exact same features as-
He shut his eyes tightly and curled into a ball. He couldn't finish his train of thought. It was too painful. Living hundreds of lives didn't mean the death of his real parents hurt any less. Infact, it made him miserable whenever the memories trickled in the moment he reached the age of five, ruining every chance of a peaceful future.
Yuuji is scared. Anything could happen, which meant Kaori and Jin Itadori wouldn't be safe even as ordinary humans. He doesn't want to relive the past. He believes he suffered enough.
Fate must be laughing at his misery.
He glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand. It read 10:30. He groaned and went back under the covers.
It'll be a long night.
__________
"Young master, please head inside, it's going to rain soon. My lord and my lady will be worried if you get sick again."
The young boy wearing a plain white yukata, stopped swinging his legs and sighed. They were at the front porch of the Shinden-zukuri, as the boy always did when waiting, having not much else to do.
It's all his body can handle, honestly. Rest, eat, sleep. He has the heart of a kid full of spirit and energy, but his body is fragile, incapable of strenuous activities lest he becomes bedridden for a day.
He stood up, stretched, then walked inside, the servant following close behind him.
He sat down on the tatami mat and picked an orange from the fruit bowl, tossing it upwards, then catching it.
"Young master, let me peel it for you."
The servant reached for the orange, but the boy moved it away.
"No! I'll do it!" The boy puffed his cheeks. He hunched over the table, peeling the fruit, blunt nails slowing down his progress.
By the fourth peel, the boy looked at his companion and asked, "What are curses?"
The servant had an idea this would happen. He cleared his throat before replying, "I believe I can't answer your question, your father made it clear that this is a conversation for when you're older-"
"Are they real? What do they look like? Will I ever meet one?"
"You-"
"Yosuke, you shouldn't know about curses yet, we talked about this."
The servant promptly bowed. "My lord"
The boy, now known as Yosuke, took a bite, subtly avoiding his father's reprimand.
His father sighed and sat down, facing Yosuke. Since the day his son overheard him and his wife planning for a mission, Yosuke has pestered the poor servant nonstop, as asking them would be impossible.
He plucked a segment of orange from Yosuke's, ignoring his son's protests all the while. "We're trying to keep you safe. Don't worry about it, your mother and I are strong. They're nothing against us." He extended a hand to ruffle the child's hair.
Yosuke's eyes widened, full of wonder. "You always win?"
"Always."
He dreams of oddly shaped creatures that night.
__________
Memories are painful. Not physically, but whenever they come back, Yuuji's heart aches for what he lost. He's eternally grateful for this gift; people don't get the privilege of reincarnating after all, though he wished amnesia was part of the package.
'Liar' his mind chided. 'You can't forget him'
The man's hug was warm like his smile. Yuuji nuzzled closer to his neck, breathing in the smell of sandalwood-
Yuuji slapped his cheeks. He needs to get out of bed.
Yawning, he walked to the dining area. His parents are already there, Kaori eating breakfast while Jin reads the newspaper, nursing his cup of coffee with the other hand. They both looked at him once he sat down. It lasts for a second, then they're back to what they were doing previously.
That.. was unexpected. Did he worry about nothing? Should he explain his actions last night either way? He guessed this was fine. He stayed quiet, not wanting to spoil the atmosphere.
It went like that for days until his father approached him one night.
"Yuuji, what did you see on your mom's phone?" Jin gently asked.
The remote Yuuji was holding creaked, his grip nearly pressing a button and changing the channel on the TV.
"Our.. place. It's Sendai." He whispered, his voice tinged with sadness.
Jin studied him for a bit, probably wondering why the name of their city bothered Yuuji so much.
"I don't like it." Yuuji continued. "It sounds weird." It's more than that. Sendai was his first in everything. First life and first family. His current father didn't have to know that, though, didn't have to hear that he missed his parents, who almost had the same faces as them.
Yuuji was never asked again.
__________
Yuuji is aware of sorcerers and curses. He knows they exist. He never saw a curse, but every now and then, in each life, he would bump into students and teachers of a certain university. He tries to steer clear of their way when he catches a glimpse of their signature uniform- dark blue jackets with high collars and two pins on the left side engraved with the school logo. It was changed after an incident, as it used to be a white kimono with blue obi.
The higher-ups truly wanted history erased.
He scoffed. Those arrogant sorcerers will face karma eventually, thinking they can sweep their mistakes under the rug just like that.
Yuuji was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he forgot to respond to the white-haired teenager.
"Hey! Hello? Pinky!"
"..Pinky?" He consciously patted his hair.
"You didn't listen to me." The teen pouted. "I asked if you're lost, it's getting quite late, kid."
He shakes his head. "I live there." Yuuji points to his house a few distances from the park.
"Oh?" The teen looked over his shoulder. "Then what are you doing here all alone? Your parents are not yet home?"
He nods.
Bandages, as Yuuji dubbed him, sat on the swing beside him, posture relaxed.
"We'll wait for them together! I'm Gojo by the way." Gojo grinned.
This is not how Yuuji wanted to spend his evening, having casual conversations with a sorcerer nonetheless, but he found he didn't mind. Gojo is nice, if not a little childish.
"I'm Yuuji." He smiled back, moving his legs back and forth and started swinging at a slow pace.
Gojo hummed, adjusting his bandage down an inch.
'He has the Six Eyes.' Yuuji thought, only realizing just now that the bandage wrapped around the man's eyes was not because of an injury. Right, the Gojo clan. There was a reason why it sounded familiar. Had he been disconnected from their world for a long that he didn't recognize a big shot like Gojo immediately? He hung his head to look at the ground that his shoes could barely touch.
"Yuuji-kun, catch!"
Yuuji instinctively caught the object in his hands, nearly knocking him out of his swing when his upper body went forward.
Gojo whistled. "You have good reflexes, kid."
It could be because the day is dragging on, or he is tired and sleepy. Maybe Gojo has that effect on you where you unconsciously lower your guard and confide in him. Well, whatever it is, Yuuji surprised himself by saying, "Years of paranoia can do that to you." He covered his mouth.
His eyes are covered, but Yuuji can tell that Gojo is giving him a complicated look. He can imagine his eyes squinting, assessing him, the odd ball he is. Yuuji nervously busied his hands with unwrapping the candy Gojo had tossed at him. Avoiding the pressuring gaze, he put the candy in his mouth, rolling it on his tongue, then biting it. The sweetness gave him respite. Gojo was about to talk, but then he got on his feet, laid back but alert.
"Yuuji." A raspy, stern voice called him to his right. He turned to see an old man walking towards them. Listen, Yuuji may have overlooked Gojo, but he's certain this man before him is a stranger to him, and he's confident the universe is testing him.
He tightened his hold on the swing's ropes and said, "Um, who are you?"
The old man eyed him and replied, "Your father might have mentioned me. I'm your grandfather, Itadori Wasuke."
Yuuji tilts his head to the side, confused. "I'm sorry, I really don't know you Wasuke-san."
"No?" The old man mumbled incoherently, then sighed, musing on his own hair. "I guess it doesn't matter. Come on, let's go to your house, I need to tell you what happened to your parents."
Yuuji's stomach churned. This is it, the dreadful message he had anticipated since he recovered his memories. An inevitable event. A curse.
He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. "Yuuji-kun.." Gojo trailed off, but Yuuji understood and appreciated the simple gesture. He looks up at him. "Thank you for being with me, Gojo-san. I'll go now.."
"Of course, take care, Yuuji-kun." He waves then leaves with hands in pockets.
His grandfather didn't comment about Gojo on the way home. When they got to the gate, Wasuke stopped him from opening it. "Before we go in, Jin and Kaori.."
Yuuji sucked in a breath.
".. They're missing, not dead."
That didn't calm down his rapidly beating heart. In the past, it's no different to how their servant whisked him away to somewhere safe, comforting him by phrasing things in a way his young mind can process, such as "They'll be back" and "Let's wait for a while longer."
Wasuke briefly pulled him into a hug. "Get your stuff, you'll be living in my place in the meantime."
Yuuji decided he liked how blunt and realistic his grandfather could be. He can't afford to break down in front of him.
He nodded, then pushed open the gate and went in. Wasuke settled on the sofa in the living room while Yuuji collected clothes, books, and necessities. He crammed them inside a small duffle bag he found in the corner of his closet, then went back downstairs.
"Ready?" Wasuke asked, eyeing the picture frame Yuuji took from the drawer next to the TV.
"Ready." Yuuji removed the picture from the frame, folded it, and put it in his pocket.
Wasuke held out a hand to him. He took it, then they left the lonely, desolate house.
__________
"You're a strong kid, so help others." Wasuke said, his voice getting weaker by the minute.
Yuuji, now fifteen, looked at him unamused. Over the years he got used to his grandfather's nagging and sharp tongue, making him unaffected by it in the long run.
"Even if it's only those closest to you, just save the people you can."
He didn't, however, know how to react when Wasuke was agreeable. Yuuji stayed on his spot, intently focused on every word he uttered.
"It's okay if you lose your way, and don't worry about whether they'll thank you or not. Just save as many people as you can, even if it's only one."
Yuuji did, in his third life, but his parents weren't fortunate in the first.
"When you die, you should be surrounded by people."
A pause.
"Don't end up like me."
'Too late' Yuuji thought. His death was void of warmth and full of darkness. Complete, absolute pain and darkness.
But after Wasuke's speech, he'll give hope a chance. Maybe in this life, he can save them just like Wasuke claims he can.
Maybe this time, he doesn't have to dream.