Chapter Text
A few days later
"Carlos?" Cecil called as he entered the apartment. "I'm home, darling Carlos!"
"I'm in the lab," Carlos called back, bent over a test tube on his lab bench. "I liked the show."
"Thank you, my dear!" Cecil replied, entering the lab. "Are you sure you're ready to be working in the lab?"
"I'm fine, Cecil," Carlos replied with a fond smile. The burns on his back were almost completely healed, and his legs were totally fine. Carlos attributed at least part of that to the mysterious concoction that Cecil slathered on his burns every night. Whatever it was, it made his skin tingle and made the burns heal a lot faster than they should have.
"I just don't want you to be in any pain," Cecil replied, sounding concerned. Carlos smiled as he turned back around, pressing a kiss to Cecil's lips. Cecil smiled under his kiss.
"I'm not in any pain," Carlos replied. "I promise."
"Will you come in with me and sit down anyway?" Cecil asked.
As if in response, Carlos' experiment fizzed and popped, causing Carlos to swear softly and neutralize it. "Why not?" he replied as he turned back to Cecil, disposing of the chemicals. "I'll just wash up and meet you there."
Cecil smiled as he left the lab, going to the living room. Carlos washed his hands thoroughly, slid out of his lab coat and into another, cleaner one (what? Cecil liked the lab coat!), and entered the living room.
Cecil was making disparaging noises at his phone while sitting on the couch. He shook his head, scoffing at it, as Carlos sat next to him. "What is it?" Carlos asked, leaning over his shoulder.
"An email from Steve Carlsberg," Cecil spat. "Telling me all about how he thinks there's a secret government hideout near Dark Owl Records, when everyone knows it's by the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. Ugh."
"What happened between you two?" Carlos demanded. "I mean, you two are always at each other's throats, but then you and Old Woman Josie were both insistent that he wasn't the one that attacked you. I don't get it."
"Carlos..." Cecil sighed. Carlos supposed it was good that Cecil was currently unwilling to deny Carlos anything, as he still blamed himself for Carlos' injuries. "Steve Carlsberg and I... We go back a long way."
"I've got time," Carlos replied. Cecil sighed. "Please, Cecil," Carlos added, not above taking advantage of Cecil's inability to say no to Carlos on most occasions. "I've told you about my past. I just want to know a little about yours."
"Okay." Cecil sighed deeply. "I met Steve Carlsberg when we were both in kindergarten, and we just never got along. You know how it is, one kid spills paint on the other's painting of a ritualistic sacrifice, next thing you know, they're pulling hair and scratching each other like wild jackalopes." Carlos wasn't quite sure what a jackalope was, but he didn't think he wanted to know. "Then the kids are threatening to declare a blood feud even though you need to be at least ten years old to declare a blood feud and they're only five, and... Well, you know how kids can be."
"Sure," Carlos replied, quite certain that none of the animosity he had felt when he was younger with childhood companions had ever gotten that serious. "So, what else happened?"
"Well, we never got along very well," Cecil replied. "All through elementary school and middle school and high school. And I took some time to visit Europe, remember? Did you hear that show?"
"Yeah, I did," Carlos replied, not mentioning that the countries Cecil had mentioned visiting didn't exist. "What does that have to do with it?"
"Well, when I got back, I found out that Steve Carlsberg was dating my sister," Cecil spat. Carlos' eyebrows shot up. That was not what he had been expecting. "And then they kept dating and they got married," Cecil added, making a disgusted face. "My sister had already been married, which is how my niece Janice was born, but then her husband disappeared and was assumed dead, so she married Steve Carlsberg, which was a terrible mistake in my opinion. He's not good enough for my sister or my niece."
"Wait," Carlos requested. Cecil stopped, a disgusted expression still on his face. "Steve Carlsberg is your brother-in-law?"
"Unfortunately," Cecil replied in a dirty voice. Carlos burst into laughter. "What?"
"I always thought he tried to kill you or broke up with you or something and now I find out he's just one of your in-laws!"
"It's not funny!" Cecil protested. "We don't get along about anything. You should see family dinners. My sister barely invites me over anymore unless he's not going to be there."
"Steve Carlsberg is your brother-in-law," Carlos repeated, shaking his head and chuckling. Cecil gave him a dirty look. "Sorry," Carlos added quickly. "It's just not what I expected."
Cecil made a face. "Can we stop talking about Steve Carlsberg?" he asked. Carlos wondered if it were possible for Cecil to say Steve's name without sounding like he wanted him dead. "I'd really rather not discuss him any more than possible."
"Yeah, fine," Carlos replied. "We'll stop talking about it."
"Good." Cecil leaned over to rest his head on Carlos' shoulder. "I'm glad that I'm dating you and not someone terrible like Steve Carlsberg. I can't imagine what I would do if I had to date him."
"Well, luckily you won't have to," Carlos replied, smiling and putting an arm around Cecil's waist. "I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon."
For once, Cecil said nothing about the dangers of Night Vale, nor anything existential or ridiculous. "Neither am I," he replied simply.
And that was that.